#you can tell me why if you want or defend your blorbo if ur so invested

[retired-ceo]

How do you feel about Ezekiel?

My explanation under the read:more (a lot of salt, be warned)

Blorbo by proxy: I have tumblr moots who love this guy. So many. Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: I don't see the point of Feral!Zeke. They sure do exist: I have mixed neutral feelings on Ezekial. Ezekial as a character is like... idk, he's so clearly a straw-man? Like I'm not even mad that he's sexist because it's so forced and stupid. Nothing about Total Drama is subtle, but S1E1 Ezekial was so clearly just meant to be a character no one would miss. But so many other characters on the show, men and women, are sexist! There are so many sexist jokes on this show. So like... what was the fucking point? Ezekial to me is a less a character, and more of a preformance. "Look, we hate sexism! See, we get rid of the sexist character in the first episode! Wow!" And then pat themselves on the back, while continuing to write sexist comments for the rest of the show. And I didn't miss how if Ezekial wasn't such an obvious first-boot, Courtney would have gone home in his place. Like... couldn't they have figured out a more clever way to make sure Courtney wasn't eliminated, if they wanted her to stay so bad? Ugh. But anyway, as for Ezekial himself as a person he's fine, I guess? He seems to want friends, he's just like... really ignorant. It's cute that he wants to be Lindsay and Beth's friend. Yay. I just... don't care. I'm gonna be honest, nice characters aren't my thing? Evil people for me all the way. And sure Ezekial's sexist but like... none of it is actually feels like his fault. He's sexist because he's stupid, not because he's taking advantage of the real power dynamics that sexism helps create. So no villainy for me to exploit and critique :( I guess you could use Ezekial to discuss how prejudice is passed down and adopted blindly, how people should always question the information they get. And so his crime would be his gullibility, but... Ezekial's backstory is that he's homeschooled by conservatives who isolated him from the world? So like, what else was he supposed to think? How am I supposed to say he was wrong to believe that women were stupid when that was the only thing he was taught from birth? Like? I don't know. When I think about writing a story deconstructing racism or sexism, I'd like to be able to point the finger to *society* as a whole, to the wage-gap to uniform policies for girls, to talk about how prejudice manifests itself in media and life. But with Ezekial, I'd just have to go "The reason he's sexist is because the two random individuals raising him are sexist! Case closed!" Perhaps I could stretch it farther and explain how his parents got that way... but then I wouldn't be talking about Ezekial, would I? Anyway, you get the gist. I don't like his character, because I don't like any story that he's used to tell. I don't doubt that more experienced and creative writers could find a use for him, but... not me lmao. Tl;dr: Ezekial's just there for me. I don't find his actions or his backstory compelling enough to like him. And Fresh did a really bad job of writing him.

[ship-ghxxx]

was reading some interesting meta-y MDZS posts and it got me thinking

this is not especially coherent y’all just unedited word vomit rambles abt shit that gets me annoyed. not looking for a debate! discussion is fine though.

i really wish fandom could acknowledge and have good discussions about how our own experiences influence how we view characters and also stop trying to justify characters actions just because they like them (but this one requires people to not be puritans and actually develop their own morality so god knows that won’t happen)

like, you don’t have to support everything ur favorite character does! that’s actually not an especially healthy way to approach things!!! you can like characters that do fucked up shit!!! embrace it!

for example:

i love YZY as a character. i also despise JFM. this has a lot to do with my personal experiences. however, i do not excuse YZY’s treatment of WWX. me liking her and me acknowledging that she did horrible things are not mutually exclusive.

i also have some deep gripes about JGY in this vein - and don’t take this as me attacking his fans, bc i’m sure most are normal, i’ve just seen some shitty ones - i enjoy JGY as a character! he’s not a favorite persay, but he’s immensely interesting and i will certainly read JGY-centric fics if they’re intriguing. however, as a disabled person, the whole issue with JRS hits me in the wrong way - and some people, in their quest to validate everything their fav does, accepting the premise that he did actually orchestrate JRS’s death, veer EXCEEDINGLY CLOSE to eugenics and ableism trying to defend or downplay those actions in a way that is very much Not Okay. like, IDK how to tell you that murdering your child because he might be disabled is morally bad, but the fact that i have to explain that to you in the first place makes me want to jettison the both of us into the sun.

i don’t know where i’m going with this - just, why is it that people will throw all morals out of the window and justify anything bc it’s their blorbo??? why does your blorbo have to be morally justified??? your blorbo isn’t real, they can be evil. i promise. liking a fake fucked up lil dude is infinitely less concerning than throwing your morals out the window for a fictional character.

[chryza]

Masterpost of what I think about you based on who you simp for in FFXIV I’m going to try and include as many characters I’ve vibe checked as possible but if yours isn’t here comment them and I’ll give you a custom roast for free. If I forgot someone, please refrain from saying “How could you forget x” I have three different memory disorders okay I did my best 😭

The Scions

Minfilia-You think a woman’s tits can redeem anything bad about her and you’re right.

Lyse-You’re a lesbian with a hard-on for destroying capitalism to the point where your friends ask you to maybe tone it down a little

Papalymo-Ur into dads. Not dilfs. Just dads.

Thancred-You like your men ROGUEISH and BLOODIED and BEATEN and BABYGIRLED

Urianger-You have autism or you are currently in an irl relationship with someone who has autism. Thank you for your service

Y’Shtola-okay little sun. (You enjoy being verbally degraded, so this is for you, a compliment)

Tataru-I love you. You want someone who can cook for you and tease you and who in turn you will shower with affection which is the only currency you have to offer

Estinien-I’m gonna be honest the only thing I can offer here is that you like brooding men who are idiots. Don’t go for a joint bank account.

G’raha-If you like GRAHA then you desire strongly a partner you can cuddle like a stuffed animal if you like THE EXARCH then you are a bottom and you like the dark academia aesthetic

Krile-You need a partner that will fill the emotional void left by your mommy issues

Moenbryda-You have autism but you kin urianger instead of crushing on him. Or ur just really into chicks who can crush you with their thighs and you’re mad that people turned it into a meme

ARR

Kan-E-Senna-I don’t believe you. You’ll have to defend yourself to me in a trial by combat

Merlwyb-Your perfect first date is dying side by side with the person you love as you fight for your lives but you’ll probably end up getting a coffee or something

Nanamo-you are SO into the princess and knight aesthetic thing, you LOVE fairytales so much.

Raubahn-You like men with an “I can fix him” flair but who have already been fixed. You’re also touch starved

Lahabrea-The line between annoyance and attraction is a tightrope you walk every day but by god you’re walking it

Cid-GOD you love himbos it’s not even a “haha I love stupid men” thing to you it’s a REQUIREMENT, the men you date need a HIMBO RESUME

Gaius-Your devotion is impressive. No one can tell you what to do with your life. I think you’re a Jane Austen protagonist.

Nero-SCRUNGLY SKRUNKLY MAN HAG BLORBO HEHEHHEHE EVIL SCIENCE

Heavensward

Haurchefant-I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Why don’t you wrap yourself in a blanket and pretend like he’s the one holding you.

Aymeric-Objectively the most stable main character in this godforsaken game, you take your husband material seriously.

Lucia-You’re a lesbian who mains warrior, I shan’t elaborate

Edmont-pathological dilf/gilf enjoyer to the point where you need help and/or jesus

Artoirel-your dream is to become one half of the most powerful power couple to ever power

Emmanellain-You’re gay in a hipster filter flower crowns cavetown kind of way

Ysayle- You were chronically disappointed by stormblood. You say everyone is out of your league but chin up champ, ysayle wanted to fuck a dragon and probably did so you can’t be that bad

Hraesvelgr- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Igeyorhm-What does it matter if a female character is developed, you are horny in the here and now and that’s more important. You probably think femdom is hot too 👀

Stormblood (god help me)

To preface-if any character from stormblood is your simp of choice you automatically get a sticker that says WEEB slapped on your forehead.

Yugiri-I feel like you listen to metal and keep neat pets like tarantulas or snakes. I cannot explain why.

Gosetsu-For want of a proper bushido character you settled on him but then when the Tsuyu plotline happened you genuinely fell in love with him. Kind of a DILF, reblog.

Hien-himbo connoisseur. You own a sword.

Sadu-WOMEN. BIG FAN OF W O M E N. That’s your only personality trait rn but that’s okay, life’s hard.

Zenos-you are a godless degenerate who is unironically into BDSM (it’s okay me too)

Yotsuyu- You know she’s a femme fatale. You know there’s no way that’s going to end well. But you are so allured by her viciousness and tragic backstory what does it matter that you’ll end up dead on the floor. “I can fix her” yeah keep telling yourself that bud.

Fordola-you are genuinely one of the sweetest people in the world and I think you COULD fix her actually.

Asahi-Liar, you’re a fandaniel simp

Shadowbringers

Lyna-you believe drinking your respect women juice is not only an obligation but an honor and you still avert your eyes from the Victoria’s Secret posters in the mall

Kai-Shirr-HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Runar- I feel like I can’t even call you a furry in bad faith. You just love nice men that much. Who cares if he’s a lion.

Feo Ul-Trans. You definitely have an au where the WoL took them up on their offer to become King Titania.

Ran’jit-I…don’t believe you? You’ll have to explain to me why you like him

Ardbert-So soft. So nice. Hnnnn oh yeah we were talking about you. You’re not a himbo enjoyer because you do prefer men who have some brain cells but you DO like em sad and you DO like em muscley

Emet-Selch- He is the character who in the entire game the story tries its hardest to make us simp for. It worked. The only thing I can do is quote another video on this same subject: You are DISEASED.

Elidibus-Someone hits u with the 🥺 and you melt like butter. Your favorite activity is peace and quiet.

Endwalker

Fandaniel-You self-identify as a goblin. You were a theatre kid. You love that he’s sad and insane but you don’t want to fix him. That would ruin the appeal.

Ameliance-“Bro I said I wanted to fuck Ameliance as a joke but bro….I don’t think it’s a joke anymore”

Nidhana-You’re correct. About everything. You’ve never been wrong. You own booty shorts that say “I love women in STEM” on the ass

Vrtra- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jullus-for you, enemies to lovers isn’t just a trope, it’s a lifestyle

Venat-📸 hmm? Oh sorry that was just me taking a picture of you admitting you desperately crave someone to take care of you. Mommy issues. NEXT!

Hermes-you adamantly differentiate between Hermes and Fandaniel, but at what point must the line be drawn for your “I can fix him” complex to kick in hmm??

Hythlodaeus-You have a praise kink. (You also should come be my friend. We can simp for him together ☺️)