#you can tell where in the timeline of enemies to lovers they are just judging by what they're calling each other

[volivolition]

Can I get some Message to All Bitches: Please Survive for WIP Wednesday? (if there's nothing you can share without spoilers, then I am also intrigued by Unstoppable Force)

oh yeah can't share the specifics of this but know that i've finally figured out the wording and results of a very significant VisCal check in Message Please Survive in honor of you hkjhg <3 instead, you get these two uncommunicative idiots from Unstoppable Force <3

VOLITION turns at the squeak of a chair pulling up next to him, and immediately wishes he hadn’t – Electrochemistry.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY sits back, cocking an eyebrow at his full name – Crownhead.

VOLITION tries not to shift in his seat. It has never been unusual for skills to shuffle around the table throughout the day. Logic will move to discuss something with Interfacing, Suggestion will slide over to sit with Savvy, and even Empathy likes to sit next to him sometimes at the head of the table. This is no different. It can't be any different – What is it?

[ncisfranchise-source]

NCIS: Sydney 1×01 “Gone Fission” is a welcome return to episodic television after such a long time. But that’s not the only thing that makes the episode work. In fact, after a rough first half of the episode, “Gone Fission” is actually a pretty promising Pilot for NCIS: Sydney, one that by the end of the hour, makes us kind of excited for the future of this show.

It isn’t smooth sailing from the start. Olivia Swann and Todd Lasance take a while to get there. Sean Sagar and Tuuli Narkle, on the other hand, have a much easier chemistry, not just with each other, but with the rest of the cast – and the same can be said of Mavournee Haze and William McInnes, who seem like they fit in with everyone. They are, of course, not being asked to do as much as Swann and Lasance, so in a way, it’s not truly fair to judge them by the same standards.

But there’s no denying it takes a bit for this episode to click, just as there’s no denying that once Swann and Lasance do click the rest just fits. Even they have to begrudgingly admit it. It’s hard to tell if the awkwardness at the beginning was planned, or if was just a byproduct of the circumstances, but it ends up working in the show’s favor.

A Good Foundation

Perhaps the most important thing is that it feels like there’s a good foundation here, and though this is set to be a short first season, if NCIS: Sydney uses the eight episodes it has properly, there’s a lot of promise in this show. That’s great news for CBS, particularly considering there’s a great upside to international versions of NCIS (not that they make any real sense whatsoever, but whatever, why should we apply common sense to this fictional agency).

The smart move now – and probably what we’ll get, considering the filming timeline and the restrictions, is to make Season 1 of NCIS: Sydney all about NCIS: Sydney. Once that’s established as its own thing, then the show can begin to think about expanding, and bringing in characters from NCIS, NCIS: Hawaii, and even canceled NCIS: Los Angeles. For now, all we need is some entertaining cases and a little bit of backstory on these characters we’re getting to know.  That’s where the show needs to invest because that’s where we need to invest. And that particularly holds true when it comes to …

Opposites Attract

The rule of thumb with procedurals is that opposites attract, but for that to work you need a lot of things. You can’t just throw two opposite personalities in the mix and hope for the best – which felt like the show was doing with Mackey and Dempsey at first. Ten minutes in, the vibe was that they just didn’t like each other and that they were right not to. Thirty minutes in, however, the sense was that they deep down had more in common than they would have wanted to admit, and that’s why they were clashing.

Now, that’s a more interesting dynamic. Especially because we’ve only scratched the surface of what these two might have in common – and the very different ways they handle their issues. Add to that the sense that their superiors seem to be delighting in the fact that they don’t seem to want to work together, at least for now, and we’re in for a very interesting early dynamic for Mackey and Dempsey, who will likely also clash when it comes to who is actually in charge.

Though, we’ll just say – her title is “NCIS Special Agent-in-Charge.” That counts for something. Not that we’re picking sides or anything (except we kinda are).

Enemies to lovers isn’t the vibe here, but antagonistic reluctant partners to “you’re the only one I trust” to more? We could get behind that, just saying. We have gotten behind that before.

[in-tua-deep]

20 for Vanya?

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

I have a lot of what-ifs and alternate timelines for Vanya lmao, especially ones that prevent the apocalypse because I’m a sucker for a happy ending tbh

What if Vanya was included? Why not? Klaus’s powers weren’t useful for missions, Allison’s story for Claire was literally like “yeah Klaus got distracted by ghosts in the background lol” so it’s not like a kid without offensive powers couldn’t do it

you have rebellious Vanya aus, where she decides, like some neglected children do, so act out. If her father isn’t going to acknowledge anything good about her, she’s going to make him acknowledge the bad. Punishment might be the only time he pays attention to her, after all.

(let’s call this an au where the pills suppress her powers but not so much her emotions)

So you have an au where she sneaks out and joins the missions. She breaks into the mausoleum and picks Klaus up and stares her father down with a challenge in her eyes. 

Five vanishes, and Vanya gets worse. She plays her violin at 2 in the morning. She refuses to eat her broccoli. she teams up with diego to see who can piss dad off the most

(her and Diego actually get along very well in this sort of au, honestly)

Vanya gets out and plays the violin and gets angry. She plays with fury and fire and gets second chair, because Helen is actually really very good. But she makes Helen work for it. Helen isn’t secure in her position, she always knows that Vanya is a step away from taking it from her

and maybe that should make them enemies, but it doesn’t. They’re rivals. Helen respects the hell out of Vanya, and Vanya can’t help but admire the woman who makes the most difficult pieces look effortless

(RIVALS TO LOVERS: VIOLIN EDITION)

Vanya writes her book. Except she kicks down Diego’s boiler room door and is like “DIEGO”

“WHAT”

“I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW MUCH DAD FUCKING SUCKS”

“I’LL BE RIGHT THERE”

as one of the rebel kids, Vanya actually got along well with Klaus as well since she helped him sneak out and 100% also smoked at least some weed with him because it would piss off Reggie tbh though she didn’t get into the harder drugs like he did

(showing up absolutely plastered to breakfast when they were sixteen was hilarious even if the laps they had to run around the block were not)

anyway Klaus crashes at her apartment sometimes, with supervision, because she loves Klaus but he has a problem and has stolen from her before but he’s still her brother but regardless

Klaus-Diego-Vanya sleepovers where they brainstorm the book to shit talk their father. Honestly it’s kind of a blast. They all get super wine drunk and end up watching Mary Poppins together with some Very Loud Opinions about nannies in general tbh

klaus throwing popcorn at the screen: BOO WHY WAS OUR CHILDHOOD NOT A MUSICAL???

diego: idk if you can have cheery musicals about child soldiers

vanya: i mean if they can have a musical about child labor in factories and the starvation of the workers in oliver twist you could do something with child superheroes

klaus: EXACTLY thank you vanya

they publish the book (luther is uNHAPPY, vanya dedicates her book to ‘all my siblings who survived the Reginald Regime but especially those who didn’t’, and she gifts Reggie a copy that says “fuck you lol” and is signed by her, diego, and klaus), they continue living, they go to the funeral when reggie kicks the bucket

and then five shows up, feral and aching

and five tells vanya about the apocalypse, and vanya thinks about their father saying time travel messed with the mind, and then she thinks - fuck the old man he was wrong about her (ordinary, fuck that, she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves) and he was probably wrong about Five, too

and Five is wholeheartedly believed

“Let me call Diego,” Vanya says when Five tells her about the eye, “I bet he could totally wear a police uniform and get info about the eye. And if not, I’m absolutely sure Klaus could improvise a solution. He’s good at that.”

“Klaus??” Five asks, vaguely suspicious.

“We don’t talk about the Sleepover of 2012.” Vanya intones solemnly, and refuses to answer any further questions on the topic.

Harold Jenkins comes to the apartment and tries to woo Vanya or whatever, and Vanya is kind of like... “Look, Leonard. I can be your teacher for violin. It’s my job. But I am in a relationship. And also like, super gay. If you have a problem with that then I am not the teacher for you.”

Actually scratch Diego and Klaus getting called, which they do, Vanya looks at them and her thirteen year old brother and is like “wait. actually i know someone infinitely better to crack this case wide open.”

“Who?” Five, Klaus, and Diego all ask

“My girlfriend.” Vanya says proudly, called Helen up.

And Helen walks into the building like she’s at fucking war and has such demanding confidence that they just give her the information she seeks and apologize for inconveniencing her.

“Hey Vanya are we still on for date night tomorrow?” Helen casually asks after, and Five kind of wants to be her when he grows up honestly after watching her verbally eviscerate Lance or whatever the fuck his name is

“Yeah.” Vanya confirms, “Unless there’s other apocalypse stuff to do?”

“You take all the time you need, honey.” Helen says warmly, “After all the more time you take the less you have to practice.”

“I’m gonna destroy the concert piece and you know it.” Vanya threatens.

Helen sniffs, “Okay, whatever you say second chair.”

and then they kiss and Helen ditches and the others just kind of look at Vanya judgingly

“In fairness, she’s very hot and very talented.” Vanya defends herself.

Klaus nods sagely. Vanya nods back. He gets it. 

“Concert piece?” Diego asks, because he has priorities.

“Yeah, I’ve already asked for tickets for all of you and you will be attending Diego.” Vanya smiles prettily with all her teeth.

“When is it?” Five asks

“April 1st.” Vanya tells him, “And no that isn’t an April Fools joke. You will attend and you will marvel at my skill. And maybe run interference between Helen and Allison because I’m kind of afraid they’re going to rip each others throats out to establish dominance.”

“That’s the day of the apocalypse.” Five informs her.

“Not on my goddamn watch.” Vanya says, because her family will attend her fucking concert and they will make awkward small talk with her girlfriend and the fucking apocalypse has better lay down and get over itself because nothing can stop Vanya’s goddamn plans

“I can investigate Meritech more.” Diego offers, because Lance-or-whatever-his-name-is is clearly shady as shit, “I have police contacts I could go through. Hey Vanya, your concert tickets include a plus one?”

“They can.” Vanya shrugs.

“Sweet, let me see if Patch can come.”

“She’s way too good for you, bro.”

“Shut your goddamn mouth.”

Anyway the point is they all go home, and Diego goes to talk to his police contacts and Five is definitely at home for when Hazel and Cha-Cha attack the mansion, oops. 

“Whomst the FUCK.” Vanya yells, kicking Hazel in the crotch because she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves she knows self defense thank you very much

“Ah.” Five says. “Hazel. How’s it going.”

“Just peachy.” Hazel wheezes, “Why’d you betray the Commission?”

“Well, you know. They cut the dental. That was really the last straw.” Five says, sarcastically.

“The dental.” Hazel echoes back, nodding very seriously, “I fucking know. You know physical therapy isn’t even covered anymore?”

“No shit?” Five says, “I mean you’d think with a job as physical as ours...”

“I know.” Hazel howls, vindicated. 

“Five.” Vanya says, rolling her eyes, “The house?”

“Oh, right.” Five frowns, looking at Hazel, “I mean. Can you like, leave? And not come back?”

“‘Fraid not.” Hazel actually sounds somewhat apologetic, “You know what the Commission is like. They’re really gunning for you.”

Five nods, because really what did he expect, “Can you leave like, temporarily? I mean you’d pretty clearly outnumbered. I don’t even know where Cha-Cha is, but judging by the furious yelling she probably met our sister and brother and Luther is hard to kill. Trust me, if he wasn’t we would have killed him when we were like, eight. But for real, can you get out of our house? I mean. Storming the den? Seriously? What kind of information did they even give you?”

“They didn’t give us any information.” Hazel responds back, sounding appropriately outraged, “They didn’t even tell us you could teleport.”

“Well that’s just rude. You’d think they wanted you dead or something.” Five muses, “But seriously, get out of my house.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Hazel admits, and leaves, because honestly Hazel is chill like that and knows when he’s lost. And Hazel also has a lot to think about. Like the fact that the Commission sucks and doesn’t even have dental, and how pretty the donut lady is. 

and Vanya is just like... okay. Weird. Is that going to happen again? Probably? I mean. Okay, this day has already been so goddamn weird. This week, honestly.

And they keep getting attacked by the Commission. And Vanya finds out someone broke into her apartment and stole her meds. What the fuck. 

“Did your shitty assassin friends do this?” Vanya asks, waving an empty pill bottle.

“Why would they?” Five asks, honestly confused.

“Because they’re assholes?” Vanya says, honestly outraged.

“You got me there.” Five admits.

The combined forces of Diego-and-Patch (because Patch is actually thrilled that Diego is asking for help regarding an actual fucking crime) figure out that the eyeballs are being sold illegally

Klaus is not kidnapped so he’s fine, just tagging along and living his best life, however this also means that Klaus does not steal the briefcase and Hazel and Cha-Cha are fine

Vanya keeps Five close at hand because frankly she doesn’t want him to leave again and she did really miss him. Also if she does save the world she can lord it over Helen’s head forever. 

And so Five is around when Vanya’s powers manifest, probably because they just got targeted by commission goons again because they’re trying real hard to kill five and separate Vanya

“Holy SHIT.” Five says, very intelligently, “You have POWERS.”

“Wow. Gonna have to write a fucking sequel to the shit-talking-dad book.” Vanya says, honestly a little light headed.

And then Vanya finds out her powers are sound based.

“Oh no.” Vanya says, “Where the fuck are my pills. I am not relearning how to play the violin with-powers a few days before the big concert Five, what the fuck.”

“But you need to learn to control them!” Five protests, “They’re your powers!”

“They’re a goddamn inconvenience is what they are.” Vanya states, “I mean, what am I going to do with them? Stop a bank robbery with the Umbrella Academy? Yeah, no thanks, that ship has sailed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean Titanic style. I’ll figure them out when I’m not in danger of blasting the audience halfway across the continent.”

“Yeah.” Five admits, “That’s fair.”

“Besides, if I’ve been on that shit as long as I have, and it’s been a long time, I cannot even IMAGINE what quitting cold turkey will do.” Vanya points out, very sensibly, like a siblings who has watched Klaus go through withdrawal symptoms more than once.

“Maybe there’s extra at the manor?” Five suggests, “Pogo probably knows.”

“Oh yeah I bet Pogo knows something.” Vanya mutters maybe a little bitterly.

They go back to the mansion and the Commission is honestly pulling their hair out tbh, and they ask Pogo who kind of pales and is like “UHHHH YES I CAN GET VANYA EXTRA PILLS” and goes to get them from whatever stash

“Fucking sweet.” Vanya whispers, entirely done with this situation, “The only adult male role model I had and he hid my powers from me and betrayed me. Love that for us.”

Five shrugs, “I mean, you’re right. All of our adult role models were all kinds of fucked up.”

“You vanished when we were 13.” Vanya says, “Didn’t you find like, any other adults ever?”

“Oh let me tell you about the Handler.” Five says, and proceeds to do just that. Because let’s be real, the Handler was the only human interaction Five had after forty odd years alone it was pretty damn important

Vanya, on the other hand, has strong plans to eviscerate the Handler should the two ever meet because Five deserved way better than to be forcibly made into an assassin?? honestly fuck that woman

that’s it that’s the au

Vanya finds out she has powers and is like “i have a LIFE i don’t want to interrupt it with bullshit POWERS,,, also going cold turkey off my meds seems like a bad idea if I don’t want to deal with withdrawal symptoms during my concert for fucks sake, my gf would never let me live it down if i skipped”

so vanya takes her meds, does NOT destroy the world, makes every one of her siblings go to the concert and even invites Hazel and Agnes after Hazel betrays Cha-Cha to join team No-Apocalypse. 

and then introduces them all to her girlfriend

“Holy shit Vanya.” Helen deadpans, “Your family is all kinds of fucked up.”

“I know.” Vanya says, aggrieved, “It’s been a long fucking week. Want to go camping and help me figure out my cool sound based powers? Bet they’ll make me a better violin player than you.”

“I think the fuck not.” Helen hisses, always up for a challenge, “Let’s do this. Me and my violin vs. you and your dumb baby powers. You’re on.”

“FAMILY CAMPING TRIP.” Klaus hollers, with all the enthusiasm in his little heart.

“Holy shit this is going to be such a disaster, I just know it.” Diego mutters.

“Shut up, it’ll be nice.” Allison says, elbowing Diego with her pointy pointy elbows.

“It’s going to be a shitshow.” Vanya says serenely, because it is. That’s just who their family is. 

Wouldn’t have it any other way, though

[snowdice]

Folds in Paper (Chapter 5: It Spills Itself in Fearing to be Spilt)[Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Janus/Patton, Remus & Roman, eventual Logan/Virgil (maybe more)

Characters:

Main: Janus, Patton, Remus

Appear: Remy, Emile, Virgil, Logan, Roman

Summary: Janus, a disillusioned senior agent working for the Time Preservation Initiative, struggles to find meaning in a world where time travel could change everything about your life’s history in less than a moment. When time distortions start popping up, threatening the timeline and the fabric of reality as he knows it, it becomes a race against the clock to fix the damage before everything unravels. And the problem with time travel… you never how long you have before the clock strikes 12 and your time is up.

With a partner who has more mysteries in his past than Janus had anticipated and an enigmatic free agent time traveler mucking about time always with a clever pun or a time appropriate pet name on his lips, Janus will need to figure out what went wrong with time, and more importantly, how to fix it.

Chapter Summary:  

So full of artless jealousy is guilt, It spills itself in fearing to be spilt

-Shakespeare in Hamlet

Notes: Time travel AU, mystery, enemies to lovers, alcohol

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted).

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Janus stepped back into the reception area and booted up his time piece. Instinct said to go back to the office despite it being late enough that most people had gone home, but he hesitated. Surely Emile had given up by now, but considering he’d sent someone to ambush him in his office, Janus wasn’t sure if he should trust that. He could just go home, but he already knew his mind was racing too much to sleep tonight, so he’d probably just end up staring at the lake for the next 6 hours. That in mind, he decided on the only other legitimate option he had. He pulled up Remus’s home coordinates and selected.

The home that Remus had chosen (after his long line of rejected requests) managed to somehow make no and absolute sense simultaneously to anyone who knew him. It was a small farm in the United States just west of the Mississippi in 1842 in what would be ratified as the state of Iowa in a few years. When asked why he would choose that time and place, Remus always responded with “I thought it was funny,” whatever that meant.

Unlike most time agents who simply used the identities assigned to them by the AMO as a cover, Remus actually lived his part time. Janus was… fairly certain he was cheating a bit to get everything done, but he maintained his small farm all on his own, growing most of his own food. The neighbors he had lived very far away, but he still spoke with them far more than Janus did his own.

Janus appeared inside the small home, his eyes already shut. “Are you here and dressed?” Janus called. Something bumped lightly into his legs.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Janus peaked his eyes open and squatted to pet the cat at his feet. “That doesn’t answer my second question!” he called back to Remus.

“It’s a surprise!” Remus said.

“Remus.” Diesel Fuel the cat flopped to her side on the ground as Janus continued to pet her ears. He heard Remus’s footsteps, and saw cloth covering his legs, so risked looking up. He was currently not only dressed, but wearing an apron that Janus was fairly sure was not time appropriate judging by the fabric and cat pawprint design. He had a bit of flour on his hands, and it may have been a bit too white for the time and place, but Janus couldn’t be completely sure.

“What’re you doing here?” Remus asked.

“My day has been an endless series of frustrations,” Janus said. “So, I have come to see the only tolerable being in the history of the universe.”

Remus snorted. “Since I know that isn’t me, I’ll assume you’re talking about the cat.”

“I still don’t understand why you tolerate this creature,” Janus addressed Diesel Fuel. She blinked slowly up at him. “To be fair, he was assigned as my partner. I didn’t have much of a choice in it. You could always run away and become feral in the woods if you’d like.”

“So, could you, technically,” Remus pointed out.

“I’m thinking about it after today.”

“Would you like some bread?” Remus asked. “That’s all I’ve been making this afternoon. Some fresh should be coming out of the oven in a few minutes.”

“Do you have anything stronger made out of wheat?”

“Ew, no, but I do have vodka.”

“Vodka works.”

“Want me to mix it with something?”

“No.”

“One of those night then,” Remus said, easily. “Let me finish up the bread, so I don’t burn the kitchen down. You can go get the alcohol from the cellar while you wait if you want, or you can just flop down on the couch.”

He was going to just flop down on the couch.

He did just that as Remus disappeared back into his kitchen. The cat hopped onto his stomach, proceeding to purr loudly and kneed at chest. Janus petted the cat and listened to the noise of Remus moving around in the other room, letting his mind drift. His mind drifted to Virgil for a bit and he steadfastly did not allow it to drift to his brother. Yet, the thing that most was on his mind was the strange man who had flirted with and charmed Janus all night before mercilessly screwing him over. ‘Pat’ he’d said his name was, but surely that was not his real name.

Janus sighed and scratched the cat’s ear. “He certainly wasn’t an amateur,” Janus mused to the cat. “With that amount of precision to get in before we did, he must have someone not on the ground feeding him information. Perhaps more than one.” He was part of a group of time traveling thieves perhaps or something worse. “I didn’t get a good look at his face since he was wearing a mask,” Janus said, “but I spent a lot of time with him, and I’m sure Remy swiped the mask from the police since it had been on me when I was arrested. It’s a good lead.” He continued to pet Diesel Fuel. Eventually, Remus came back in, noticed Janus hadn’t bothered to get the alcohol and went outside to the cellar. “I’m going to find him,” Janus told Diesel Fuel. “I’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing, and I’ll bring him in.” Diesel Fuel mewed her support, and Janus patted her on top of the head.

Remus came back in with the bottle of vodka and handed it to him without a word. He sat down on the couch near Janus’s feet and patted his lap so Diesel Fuel would come over to him and allow Janus to sit up.

The bastard waited until he was approximately 3 shots in (he didn’t have a shot glass and was just taking drinks from the bottle) to ask the questions Janus really didn’t want to answer. “Are you mad at Emile?” Remus asked.

Janus groaned, trying to wash out the bitter taste of shame and grief with the sharp sting of vodka. It didn’t work. “No,” he said to Remus.

“Then why have you been avoiding him?”

“Shit, I’m here because I didn’t want to think about it. Can’t we just not.”

“Don’t want to think about what?

“It’s none of your business, Remus.”

He could feel Remus frowning at him, but Janus stared resolutely ahead. At least, he did until a foot poked his face. He slapped it away, but it did the job of getting Janus to look back at Remus.

“It is my business,” Remus said, foot still in the air. “I’m your partner and your friend.”

“If I’m your friend, you’ll drop it.”

“So, you’re not mad at Emile,” Remus continued, contemplatively. “Did you do something to him, then?” Janus bit his lip and looked away. “What?” Remus asked. Janus didn’t respond. “Look, I’m sure he’ll forgive you for whatever it is. He’s a good guy. Just talk to him about it.”

“I can’t,” Janus said.

“Whatever it is, it’s probably been long enough that he forgives you. You literally just have to have a conversation, say you’re sorry, and everything will be A-OK.”

“I can’t,” Janus repeated.

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t know about it.”

Remus paused. “So, as far as he knows, you just cut contact with him all of a sudden for no reason and have been avoiding him ever since?”

Janus looked at his shoes. “Yeah.”

“That…” Remus said, “is not fucking fair Janus.”

“I know.”

“Then why the hell are you doing that to him? He’s like… soft and feeling-y. He’s probably really upset.”

“I know, Remus.”

“Tell him. Whatever it is.”

“I can’t.”

“Look,” Remus said. “You tell him and he either forgives you or he doesn’t. If he does, everything’s fine. If he doesn’t… well, it’s not like it would be any different from you two never being in the same room the last few years. Either way, you can’t just do this to him. He’ll probably forgive you. He’s your brother. Brothers don’t… brothers would forgive each other.”

Janus laughed softly and met Remus’s eyes. “That’s the problem,” he said. “He’d definitely forgive me.” He turned away and opened the vodka bottle again. “Now, if you’ll shut up for a few minutes, I’m going to drink until I black out.”

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

[bytheangell]

I’ll See You When the Violence Ends

(Read on AO3) Square Filled: Enemies to Lovers for @shadowhunterbingo Pairing: Meliorn/Isabelle  Rating: Mature – Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Tags:  Enemies to lovers, alternate timelines, background character death, canon-typical violence  Summary:   With tensions rising between the Nephilim and the Downworlders, Isabelle finds herself inexplicably drawn toward the enemy... or rather, one in particular.  -------------

The first time Isabelle comes across a Downworlder on her own she’s ten years old. She sneaks out in the middle of the night, long after her parents’ normal second round of checks on her and her siblings to make sure they’re actually in bed and not ignoring curfew by going up on the roof or to each other’s rooms.

She’d seen plenty of Downworlders brought into the Institute by the older Shadowhunters - ones who were caught breaking the laws. She often wonders why they can’t just listen, like she does, and stay in line. They’re sentiments she’s heard voiced by her parents: the Downworlders simply don’t know their place, if they’d fall in line they wouldn’t be hunted, wouldn’t be hurt. Isabelle believes that because she doesn’t know any better. After all, she follows the rules and knows her place, and she’s just fine.

Isabelle is too young to be out alone, fresh off her first rune ceremony the week before, but she goes anyway. She’s curious. She doesn’t intend on being seen, she just wants to see, to catch a glimpse for herself of a Seelie just out and about, doing whatever it is they do when they aren’t… well, in trouble.

“You shouldn’t be here,” comes the voice behind her.

Isabelle spins around with a gasp. She hadn’t heard anyone come up behind her, how--

It’s a Seelie Knight. She sees the way he looks down at her, though despite the tone of warning behind his words he looks… amused.

“Aren’t you a little young to be out claiming victims alone at night?” He looks around then, as if expecting someone else to come out of the shadows behind her. “Or is this a set-up? You scream for help, I get taken in for attacking a poor, defenseless Nephilim child?”

“What?” Isabelle manages, confused by his reaction. “No. Why would I do that?”

The Seelie only shakes his head.

“You’re not going to, are you? Attack me?” Isabelle asks uncertainly. She didn’t take any of the weapons because she didn’t want anyone to notice one missing, but now she regrets the decision because the Seelie’s description is right: she is defenseless, at least against someone like him.

“No,” he says. “Contrary to what your people may want you to believe, we aren’t all monsters.”

Isabelle feels relief at that. Seelies can’t lie, so he has to be telling the truth.

“Why are you here?” The Seelie asks her curiously.

Isabelle wonders if there’s an answer she can give that isn’t going to get her into trouble. “I wanted to see for myself,” she admits, a bit cryptically but better than nothing.

“See what?” The Seelie prompts.

“Magic,” Isabelle nearly whispers the word, foreign and taboo. 

The entrances to the Seelie realms are meant to be a sort of magic, as are the wards guarding them. And she knows the Seelies themselves are capable of magic too, usually involving nature… she hoped if she saw some of them, and they didn’t realize she was watching, she might get to see some of it herself and know what all the fuss is about.

She expects him to be angry, but he surprises her again by laughing.

“Magic… like this?”

Isabelle watches as he bends over the smallest bud of a flower to the right of where they stand, cupping his hands over it with so much tenderness and care, then pulling them away to see a new, full bloom.

Her first thought is that it’s beautiful. Her next thought, as sharp as a mental slap, is that she shouldn’t think it’s beautiful. The magic the Downworlders have is a threat, the demonic blood it’s born from an abomination.

Isabelle turns without another word and sprints back to the Institute, checking behind her every so often half-expecting him to be in pursuit.

The Seelie doesn’t follow and Isabelle doesn’t tell anyone about her encounter, not even Alec.

-------------

Isabelle sees many Downworlders after that, sometimes with others but sometimes alone, and every time ends the same: with her target in custody or a trophy in her hands. She doesn’t think twice of it: her training ensures that any sympathy she has for those with demon blood is wiped away entirely, her success as a Shadowhunter depends on it.

There are expectations placed upon her as a Lightwood. They are, after all, second only to the Morgensterns in terms of family legacies. There are a lot of benefits to being a Lightwood, but only if she earns them.

And earn them she does. She and Alec are forces to be reckoned with. Alec and his parabatai, Jace Wayland, are nearly unstoppable soldiers in the field. Isabelle and her parabatai, Clarissa Morgenstern, are just as deadly. The four of them are the top of their class, easily surpassing their peers and earning assignments of their own as early as thirteen years old.

Isabelle is 15 when she sees the Seelie Knight again.

She faces him in a dark corner of a park where the Seelies Clarissa is meant to be tracking will run towards to flee back to their realm. He’s the first to cross her path.

“You’re not alone tonight,” he says simply, eyeing her fighting stance and activated runes. “And no longer defenseless.”

She remains silent. For a moment she remembers his kindness before but instead of softening her eyes narrow.

Isabelle tenses as he shifts his position to be near a large tree, and she wonders if it’s to draw magic from it. She knows Seelies can call weapons from the earth and she pulls at the bracelet around her wrist, the adamas shifting into a whip in her hands.

 “What? Don’t you want to witness my magic again?” he asks, a harsh edge to his words as a vine drops down from above her, pulling her feet out from under her as it wraps around her ankles and tugs. Isabelle gives a shout and falls, watching him move easily past her. Using his magic to access the Seelie Realm he vanishes from sight while she dangles upside-down by the tree.

He could’ve killed her.

She would’ve killed him.

Isabelle is more than a little confused and has a lot of time to stew in her thoughts before Clary comes to cut her down and take her home, keeping the particulars of how the Seelies slipped away from their follow-up report .

------------

Isabelle is sixteen when she sees the Seelie Knight again. The altercations between the Shadowhunters and the Downworlders turn more frequent - reports of another start coming in almost every other day at this point. She can feel the small encounters building in tension and severity, wondering when they’ll turn to battles, and when those battles will turn to a proper war.

She’s part of a raid that will serve to be a turning point for all involved - one on the Dumort itself, staged at midday so the vampires had little chance to flee. She doesn’t like it - something about the whole set-up doesn’t sit well with her. They’re told the building is harboring fugitives to the Clave, but they’re given no specifics on who or what crimes they’ve committed. They’re not told who inside may be innocent, or given specific targets, and no one asks.

It isn’t a raid - it’s a slaughter. The vampires fight back, because of course they do, and the few who don't flee through secret exits and underground tunnels die bloody.

There’s so much going on that even those who get kills don’t have the time or opportunity to stop and take their spoils - but Isabelle comes across the dead body of Camille in her attempts to find her parabatai in the wide expanse of the hotel, and stops to slide the ruby necklace off the vampire’s neck and hold it delicately in her hands.

When she looks up the Seelie Knight is there, staring at her with just a hint of surprise underneath his otherwise neutral expression.

The vampires must’ve called backup. And if the Seelies are here, to help the vampires of all Downworlders, Isabelle doesn’t like the implications of that for the Nephilim in all of this. Keeping them divided and equally at odds with each other as they are with the Shadowhunters was always a strategy hammered into them from a young age.

It takes Isabelle a second in her panic to realize that his look of surprise isn’t at her, however.

“Camille...” he says the name softly, sadly, almost like a goodbye. Then his eyes catch on the necklace in Isabelle’s hands and he’s across the room before she can blink, the blade of his spear pressed against her throat.

Isabelle’s eyes widen. “It wasn’t me,” she says instinctively. She doesn’t know why - she’s here, after all, she’s a part of this whether this particular life was taken by her hand or not.

It has the desired effect, however, and the Seelie hesitates.

A voice calls from the hallway, shouting “Meliorn! In here!”

The Seelie Knight looks Isabelle over, considering her finally, before lowering his weapon and turning to follow the call out of the door and down the hallway.

On her way to warn the others to retreat she slips the necklace into her pocket and files the name away in her mind for the future.

Meliorn.

---------

Isabelle is out on a routine patrol when she sees the warlock child. She knows the girl is a warlock because she’s seen her with the others on occasion, both on and off the battlefield. For a split second Isabelle considers following her to a less public area to kill her - one less warlock to kill the Nephilim later, after all. Except this isn’t a battle, and while there are no strict rules governing chance public encounters - and while Isabelle knows that many others would certainly seize this opportunity and judge her for allowing it to pass - she can’t bring herself to kill in cold blood.

“Hey,” Isabelle says instead, making her presence known and approaching the warlock with her weapons sheathed. “It isn’t safe for you to be this far alone. Do you know your way back home?”

The child nods.

“Head that way. And travel with a friend next time.”

“I can take care of myself,” the girl states, magic flaring at her fingertips, and for a second Isabelle wonders if she hasn’t made a mistake in judgment. But then the magic is gone again after the quick display, and Isabelle relaxes.

“I’m sure you can,” Isabelle says, and turns to head back to the Institute.

A few moments later she hears footsteps behind her, and then a voice.

“Why did you do that?” Meliorn asks.

“Do what?” She questions, though she already knows.

“Try and warn her?” He clarifies.

Isabelle frowns. “She’s a child, and she’s alone. You really think so little of me to think I’d kill her where she stands? She’s done nothing wrong.”

 “She’s been in the battles. I’ve seen her,” Meliorn points out.

“So have you and I, and yet here we are,” Isabelle counters.

Meliorn smirks. “So we are,” he says.

There’s a charged moment between them during which Isabelle’s fight-or-flight instinct flares within her. Allowing the child to walk away was one thing, but Meliorn?

He seems to consider the same thing, sizing her up, that casual smirk of amusement never faltering.

Without a word he turns to leave.

Isabelle hesitates, once more uncertain if she should allow him to so easily, but reminds herself that he’s doing the same for her. Should they come to arms she may very well lose, and she doesn’t favor the idea of dying alone in an alley on a routine patrol.

She watches him go, curiously, before leaving herself.

--------

Isabelle sees Meliorn more often after that, though she wishes she wouldn’t. As she feared, the occasional fight turns into the occasional proper attack, and though the Seelies stay out of it more than the vampires, werewolves, and warlocks, they can no longer stay entirely removed as their Queen would prefer.

Isabelle watches Meliorn pierce through the hearts of Nephilim - fellow Shadowhunters, people she cares for, friends - while he witnesses her take talons and pointed ears and warlock marks as spoils of her own battles won. Despite the times they met in the past and walked away from one another she has no doubt now, as their eyes meet in a fiery glare, that should they meet alone again it would end much differently.

And it does, but not in the way she expects.

It’s meant to be a fact-gathering mission: Isabelle is alone, intending on keeping a safe distance and following undetected behind the Seelies as they leave the meeting they had with Magnus Bane and return to their realm. She’s meant to find and report on the location of the entrance, as well as note how many of them attended and the sort of weaponry they seem to be outfitted with. Simple intelligence gathering.

Or at least, it should be.

She’s following behind when she notices that there’s one fewer Seelie in front of her than there should be. Almost instantly she feels hands grabbing roughly at her shoulders, pulling her into a shadow-covered side street.

“Why are you following me?” Meliorn demands - and of course it’s him, Isabelle thinks. Except… maybe this can work in her favor.

She doesn’t answer at first, her mind working in overdrive to plan her way out of this.

“I should kill you for this,” he points out. He could. They’ve both killed for less.

She can’t get to her weapons fast enough, or her stele to activate any runes. She’s at the disadvantage, so she either talks her way out of this (which seems unlikely) or…

“Why don’t you, then?” She challenges. It’s a gamble, banking on the fact that he let her live before and little else, but if it works it could buy her the distraction she needs to not just stay alive, but still get the intel she came for. The fact that he doesn’t react immediately is all the encouragement she needs to try.

Impulsively she leans forward, clearing the space between them to press her lips against his. He tenses but doesn’t move away. After a moment he pushes forward and she thinks, just for a second, that he’s going to kill her anyway. Instead he presses her against the wall behind her forcefully as he moves into the kiss. It’s a heated moment, over as quickly as it began when the sound of approaching footsteps reach them and Meliorn tears himself away as intensely as he’d surged forward.

“Go,” he says, and she pretends to, disappearing around the corner as he goes back to his people.

Except she doesn’t actually leave.

Isabelle waits, watching him go, and then re-activates a rune to quiet her steps to follow behind more carefully this time, watching him step into a tree trunk, vanishing from sight. Isabelle counts to 30, slowly, before following behind. She goes through the entrance and finds herself in the Seelie Realm, trying to take it all in --

--turning to see Meliorn waiting for her, looking disappointed.

“I thought you were better than this,” he says, lifting his hand up. Instead of raising a weapon he opens his palm and blows a powder… no, pollen… into her face. Isabelle barely has time to register what’s happening before she tilts to the side, drowsy, and then falls unconscious into Meliorn’s waiting arms.

She wakes up on the ground beside the tree, and when she stands to touch it the entrance is closed, the tree solid, and no trace of Meliorn or the Seelie Realm besides the slight itch of pollen in her nose.

Damn.

---

Shortly after, Isabelle is called into Valentine’s office.

“Put on your best dress, Isabelle,” he tells her. “You’re going to the Seelie Realm.”

Isabelle freezes. Did someone see her with Meliorn? Had he said something, and now she’s being turned over… as what? A bargaining chip? A trade?

A sacrifice?

“For what purpose?” Isabelle asks, keeping her voice steady.

“An act of goodwill. The Seelie Queen has information regarding a vampire den turning children, but will only give it to us on her terms, one of which is that we come to her for it, the other a temporary truce with her people in return for continued intel.” Valentine looks pleased, and she can see why. It’s a good trade for all involved.

“Why me?” Isabelle can’t help but ask. She’s young, inexperienced in the finer matters of political dealings. This is absolutely not something she’d normally be sent on. There are many more skilled than her, many trained for this very task, who should be going instead.

“You were requested specifically,” Valentine says, eyebrow raised. “Any idea why that may be?”

Isabelle shakes her head despite her very strong suspicions. Valentine hums in response but doesn't push the question.

“It should be straightforward. Give her our word for our end of the bargain, get what information she has currently, leave. We’ll brief you before you go, tell you what you can and can’t agree to… you know how their kind can be, playing games with their words. You’ll need to stay sharp, but you’re a fine Shadowhunter, Miss Lightwood. One of our best. I have no doubt you’ll be fine.”

Isabelle forces a smile and nods. “Of course, Sir. You can count on me.”

---

The next day, with as much training as they could cram into the short span of hours, Isabelle finds herself at one of the ever-changing entrances to the Seelie Realm.

Meliorn is there to meet her. She expected to see him, of course, but she also expected to see more than just him. A test, perhaps, of the Shadowhunters’ ability to be trusted with their promise of truce, to not have a full guard on her for the journey? Isabelle hesitates only a moment before following him into the water in front of them.

The Seelie Realm is beautiful and Isabelle stares in wonder around her. The last time she managed to sneak in for just a moment it wasn’t long enough to get a proper look, but now her eyes linger on the trees and flowers, the bugs that seem abundant but never crowding or overwhelming. She’s so entranced by it that she nearly forgets why she’s here, with Meliorn several yards ahead before she starts after him.

Though they travel in silence, with Isabelle following only half a step behind Meliorn once she catches up she finds it’s less of an escort and more of a pleasant walk. His weapon is relaxed at his side, she notes, her own hand grazing over the holster she wears under her dress just in case.

The million questions Isabelle has all seem to die on her tongue as she realizes she’s more afraid of getting an answer she doesn’t want than being left to wonder.

She isn’t left to wonder for long.

Mere minutes later Meliorn directs her into a tent. It quickly becomes clear that this is a home, a bedroom.

“Why am I here?” Isabelle asks finally, unsure if she means ‘here’ in the Realm at large or ‘here’ in this room specifically.

“Because I wanted you here,” Meliorn replies simply. She sees the desire in his eyes, brazen and without pretense.

“The meeting with the Seelie Queen--” Isabelle starts.

“Is very real, as is the deal to be struck. This is simply a detour, should you agree. I thought it a shame to waste the truce between our people for however little time it may last.” Meliorn sets his weapon down in the corner of the room.

Isabelle takes a tentative step forward from where she paused by the entrance.

“But you can’t possibly like me…. Or trust me,” she adds for good measure. How could either of them after watching the other take the lives of their friends and family countless times? She’s surprised then, after a moment of reflection, to realize she doesn’t actually blame him personally - not when he’s in the same position she is, simply a soldier carrying out orders. There were many times she doubted her assignments, questioned her own actions, even regretted them… did the same hold true for Meliorn? Did he regret the Nephilim lives he took?

“I don’t have to trust you to make love to you,” Meliorn doesn’t bother with trying to ‘woo’ her or anything as mundane as that. “And ‘like’ and ‘desire’ are two separate emotions.”

She huffs out a breath of a laugh in disbelief. He isn’t wrong, it’s just the last thing she’d expected to be faced with after all the worrying and careful planning put into this trip, agonizing over her every action, her every word to the Seelies in their realm. And now…

...now, Meliorn stares at her, waiting patiently for her to give any sign of agreement of what he’d like to happen next, with a fire burning bright in his eyes. She feels it too. There’s been a spark between them since long before that encounter in the alleyway, something that sends a shiver down her spine every time they lock eyes and heat rippling through her every time he draws near. She wondered if he felt it, too, and now she knows he did. He still does.

“Alright,” she says finally, moving forward toward him, stopping just short of touching. They lock eyes again, those sparks mirrored in them, while slow, eager smirks spread across each of their mouths before they meet fiercely. There’s no slow start, no steady buildup before Isabelle pulls Meliorn with her as she takes several steps backward until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. He falls on top of her and, in the back of her mind, Isabelle is dimly aware of a muted instinct to panic at being crowded and pinned down by the Seelie.

It’s silenced by the waves of pleasure that wash over her with each brush of teeth, of hands, of lips and tongue. Could it be this simple, this black and white?

Isabelle never imagined any decision could feel this effortless… but she hasn’t made all that many decisions before, has she? It’s always been orders and protocol and expectations.

But not this. This is something different.

She isn’t a soldier here, or a sister, or a parabatai. There is no love demanded of her, no expectation or trust or devotion.

There’s only temporary truce and desire, a combination Isabelle’s growing more fond of by the second as she, for the first time in a very long time, loses herself in something entirely her own.

[lexxaven]

Writing Prompts

Hey guys! Thank you for all the writing prompts! I appreciate the inspiration and hope to incorporate some of the ideas, although I can’t make promises to write all of them, because not all are my style or something I like writing. I write for enjoyment and as a sort of therapy, so if it doesn’t catch my interest, please don’t be offended or think I’m not keeping my word or am ignoring you. What you sent me may just not be my thing.

More under the cut!

A few things you should know...I’m not big on writing about pets or kids. Just not my thing. And I don’t like dealing with imbalanced power dynamics in relationships or BDSM stuff. So like anything that touches on that, even thematically like a suggestion I got about Lexa being the commander who kidnaps Raven and then Raven falls for her... not my thing but no shame to those who choose to explore this in fic or enjoy reading this. I just can’t write it and it triggers some of my own issues that I’m not willing to explore. Also, I like pets and kids, but I do not find them enjoyable to write for some reason. And I write purely for enjoyment and as a type of therapy almost (at least at this point in my life), so if you send me an ask and I do not write it, please do not be offended or take that as a rejection in any way. Keep sending me those asks and prompts anyway, and if something sparks my interest and inspiration you may get lucky!

Also since I am new to this whole prompt filling thing, I ask that if you do send prompts please send what rating you are okay with (K, T, M, E). I can’t always promise I will be able to write an M or E, but I don’t want to write an M or E for someone who is looking for K or T. And I also find it helpful if you put songs and a lot of details about things. Again, I can’t promise to write all those details if they don’t work for me, but I find it basically impossible to write a fic if all I get is — Enemies to lovers modern au, astronaut Raven and Lawyer/CEO Lexa. Like, what? That is way too broad and I will have not clue what to write. I liked this high school au prompt because it gave me setting, a little character description and kind of a goal for what the end/resolution would be.

Here’s an example of the high school au prompt that I am currently working on below, along with some other info the anon sent that I found helpful:

They also responded when I asked more questions, which I really appreciate! The more details you can give me the better! Even if I don’t use all of them, reading other people’s ideas and their reactions and feelings about the things I’ve written inspires my own feelings and ideas. Otherwise I’ve got nothing to go on a lot of the time.

I’ll let you in on a helpful secret: If you want more Lexaven content and fic, then leave me nice, long comments on my fic and stuff I already have out there. Even if you’ve already read them, go back and do that. I frequently make edits to old fics and old chapters and add new parts in, so you may get lucky to find something new. And I feel especially if you go back and reread chapters for enjoyment, but have never left a comment, that’s kind of rude. Not a lot of people comment and it makes me feel sad and uninspired to write and like all of my hard work and care I put into my writing is not being appreciated or noticed. It can feel like you’re being taken advantage of.

Like I said, I write for enjoyment and use it as a type of therapy, so I can easily just write this stuff and enjoy that all on my own without having to post it and do all the hard work that comes with making a work presentable for others to read by connecting details, narrative threads, themes, setting, tenses, timelines, accurate and in character dialogue and actions. It’s HOURS of work that I do for you guys, and the lack of comments and responses is why you guys don’t see more content from me. The only thing that motivates me to do all that extra, icky work is when I know people are actually motivated to give back to me in a way with their feedback about what they like, their favorite parts....leave me long paragraphs about what you think or feel. Ideas you have. Things you hope to see. Things you’re wondering or curious about. How you felt. Copy and paste your favorite line of dialogue or quote. Talk about the themes you like, or what you like about the setting and characters. I do not judge punctuation or content or grammar or think you will sound stupid at ALL! I love raw, unfiltered and non put together reactions. One time I got a comment that was just a lot of emojis and screaming letters and it made my week! Although, don’t just do that because I need to feel like what I’m putting out there is being seen and noticed and appreciated.

Anyway, I know this kind of rabbit trailed, but I feel this is important for you as fandom and readers to understand. Since I’m not getting paid to do any of this, it’s all just based on my enjoyment and how much I’M getting out of writing and posting this. Lately responses and comments have been so low I’ve been tempted to stop writing my story altogether, so please keep that in mind.

Every time I post a new chapter for This Feels Like Falling In Love, I get around 300 hits/views, and have 80 subscribers.... But this most recent chapter literally had 4 comments left for me. The most commenters I think I ever got for a chapter was maybe 11. It may look like when you get to the bottom of the fic and see how many comments there are that there are a lot, but that’s usually from me going back and forth with the same handful of comments. Which I love those commenters and am so grateful to them, and they know that, and you should thank them because they are probably the only reason I’ve posted as much of the story on AO3 as I have (they know who they are too). BUT REALLY????

I spend hours upon hours writing that one chapter, that was 10,000 words mind you, even went through getting a beta to read through it before posting it. Then 300 people read it and enjoyed it for free, and then 4/300+ people actually left comments??? WHAT???? Comments and feedback are the ONLY thing I personally get enjoyment from by posting. Like I said, I can write for enjoyment for free and it’s a lot less work.

I DON’T WRITE FOR THE AUDIENCE OR FOR REVIEWS. I WRITE FOR MYSELF AND MY ENJOYMENT. HOWEVER, I DO EDIT AND POST FOR YOU AS THE AUDIENCE! I DO NOT LIKE THE PROCESS OF EDITING OR POSTING! THE ONLY THING THAT MOTIVATES ME TO DO THAT IS YOUR RESPONSE AND APPRECIATION. YOUR COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK. So when I don’t get that, I’m just like, meh, not much in it for me, no one really seems to care if I post this anyway, and even if they do, not enough to give back or positively add to me. It feels too imbalanced and like a toxic relationship where all you do is give and never receive, and I don’t put myself in those situations anymore because I know better now. So that’s what it can feel like for fanfic writers, and I need to get something out of this experience of posting too. I’m not that much of a saint, sorry.

So moral of the story, if you want more content that’s free for you and a lot of work for me, then you need to make sure that I as the writer am getting what I tell you I need to stay motivated to post. Which is in my case—but for most writers honestly—is very specific and thoughtful feedback that lets me know you notice and like what I’m putting out there. This is something I’ve repeatedly mentioned in my notes, but few have actually done. If I don’t get more of a response with good comments after making this post, then I will probably discontinue posting TFLFIL because I’m not getting joy out of doing it anymore. I go back and read those comments for motivation and inspiration before I open a document to write. So think about that and what kind of comment you’re leaving. A “please update!” Or “great” or “thanks”.... While I appreciate those a lot, are not particularly inspiring. Please do not take this as me discouraging those types of comments at all because I really appreciate them! But I rarely even get those types of comments, and would rather get those than none. Although, please never leave a comment that asks when I’m updating or just tells me to please update. Especially if that’s all you say or the only comment you leave without expressing any appreciation. I have ongoing chronic health issues that limit my abilities to move my body and type, and I will update when I am capable and feel like it. And I do understand social anxiety and shyness or people not knowing what to write or language barries or worrying about being judged. But please keep in mind that I have social anxiety too, and I had anxiety even posting my fic but pushed passed it for you guys, so maybe you can do the same for me??? You can even look at other people’s comments from other fics you read and basically copy them word for word if you have no ideas of your own... I’m just letting you in on my process as a writer and what I find motivating and what you as a reader can do to motivate me and get more content. Or not even to get more content, but just for me to keep the content out there for you that you already have, and to be a kind human being who adds to other people lives.

I hope some of you actually take the time to read this and take action afterwards, and don’t just brush it off as something boring. This is something I’ve wanted to address for a long time because the issue has been building up for me and getting worse, and I am just now hitting my breaking point with it. I get very frustrated when I see people complaining about the lack of Lexaven content but then don’t do anything to show appreciation for the content I do create or the content they do have. Again, I’m not a robot and need to get something out of this posting business too. Otherwise I will just keep all of my messy and narratively confusing stories that don’t always connect or make sense to other readers, for myself to enjoy :)

[lokispettigerr]

In The Flesh- Loki POV x Original Female Character (Part 1)

If you like this please please tap that reblog :) . It is huge encouragement.

*Not 100% set on POV in later parts

Part 2

Fic Summary: (Part 1- Loki’s POV) Loki tells of one of the visions the Tesseract cursed him with. In his vision he sees a woman confined and decides he will do anything in his power to help her.

Timeline: The Avengers movie

Word Count: 1,616

Warnings: Mention of Child abuse and some Violence

A/N: This fic is set during "The Avengers"

****If you would like to be on the general taglist OR the taglist for this fic please leave me an ask. I will make it happen and would be happy to do it!

I am Loki, Prince of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.

When I was a child, things weren’t easy– ever. In fact, they were very, very hard. There were always forces in opposition, pushing and pulling with hatred and obsessions. I was caught in the middle of it all, like the offspring of a spider made prey by its own parentage. However, the spider wasn’t my true parent. To Odin, our spider on the web, I was something vile, corrupt, without order; something chaotic that needed to be put in its place.

And so, as a child, young and blind to the incongruicies and discriminations of life, I accepted Odin’s treatment of me. Somehow, as a child used to a life of malice and ill will, you just believe there is nothing better out there—for it is what you have always known.

Can you perhaps, relate?

I truly believed, with burning conviction there was nothing better out there, in the nine realms. I suppose I wanted to so desperately feel that no matter the treatment I received, that it was fatherly, unconditional love in its purest form. That is, until I started to get a glimpse of the world and the blind was removed from my eyes like fetters falling from the wrongfully imprisoned. And much like the wrongfully imprisoned, the one that has been left to rot in a cell, away from all mankind, away from light, touch, sound, out of sight—when I was unintentionally and haphazardly released from the bonds that held me, I began to dream. And when I began to dream I began to court danger. That’s how it all starts isn’t it? Danger often times comes with dreams, perhaps they are cousins, or lovers, or both. Imaginably both, that must be why they give birth to fear. Fear being an all-consuming debilitating emotion, something I am all too familiar with. Something all too familiar with me. Try as I might, I like to think fear has no hold over me any more after all those years long ago when I was a child living in the shadow of the spider. However, this is comically wrong, for I encountered fear again when the Tesseract gave me a dream. But more on that later.

Now then, if I am not the offspring of the spider what am I? I am the child of hunger. The child of desire for something to fill a yawning emptiness so vast the void could consume the stars. I am the child of those people who starved, and in their starvation they became what appear to be monsters. They are called “Jotuns”, and are of Jotunheim. The Jotuns are the natural enemy of Asgard, at least as long as Odin ruled. For an enemy without, strengthens a ruler within. Thus if Jotuns are the enemy then I too am the enemy. In truth, my people are a harsh cold lot, brutal to the core. It is only ever bound to happen when the land they live yields nothing but perpetuating emptiness and desolation, something that only can birth bitterness. Think about that one a while—something that can only birth bitterness.

But now, perhaps, I am dancing around the question, “what am I?”. You see, one of my downfalls is that I like to withhold knowledge, something I may be able to use again at a later date when it better suits me. For now, I am fluid like water, but with much more bite, so let’s say like fire. Simply put, I am a monster. The monster that parents warn their children of at night. Of course because I have only ever yielded destruction, or so I have only ever been told. I am rage and chaos in the flesh—that is something you can trust—my rage.

In truth, I am whatever you want me to be, or even whatever you have need of me to be. Whoever you think I am, I will be—for you of course, and perhaps for a price.

My story however, will vary about as much as I do, it all depends on who you ask. In order for you to see me, there is something I need to show you. You can judge me how you wish from there; I have room for that.

I began rather benign I think. Not that anyone has ever asked my story, but through all the abuse I endured I think I started to lose myself.

There was a time, when I did commit unspeakable acts, but before I ever started on the precipice of that catastrophic journey, unspeakable acts were performed on me. It is not time however, for me to share these unspeakable acts with you—to unburden myself. I do however, have a name to give you, and perhaps you have heard of him. If so, then you know enough… Thanos. I endured torture at Thanos’ hands. For what? All to acquire a stone, but it wasn’t your average stone. The Tesseract was a glorious gateway between the realms. Unfortunately, her power could be used for the triumph of evil, and so it was. While she possessed unspeakable power she also came with her own burdens. She could enlighten, so to speak, the mind of the beholder. Have you ever heard the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Well to her, to the Tesseract, the beholder is in the eye of beauty, really. She shows you what she wishes and you become her thrall—even gods are not immune to her. Her visions are a way for her to protect her secrets. To protect herself.

This is where I come in. I was made to go after the Tesseract and she showed me many things, dreams and worlds beyond measure, beyond even the understanding of a god.

Such an odd thing really, behold the stone and you see everything it wants you to see, vividly, breathing, beating, radiating, pulsating—and me, there in the middle of it. Another spider and another web. Well, her visions happen in an instant, much like falling down an intergalactic wormhole at the speed of light, or even the Bifrost.

The Tesseract, doing what she does, in a way to protect herself, showed me a vision she knew would break me, driving me into madness—of course, the only way to end the madness was to do as she bid.

In just a heart shattering moment, something that I wanted to last an eternity, or one of my life times, I saw a woman. A woman who very much was a girl. Interestingly, initially she could have been taken for a wounded bird—something broken and battered, bleeding her wounds too many to count. Perhaps trampled by too many Bilge-snipe.

I saw her chained in a harshly lit, glass cage. She was cowering naked in a corner, holding her legs to her breasts. Possibly in hopes to hold onto something to gain comfort and stability. Her head was down, wild hair cascading like liquid daggers all around her. I could hear her quiet, musical sobs. I pitied this poor creature, because something inside of her sent an echo of a memory penetrating through me. This little wounded bird was trapped in a spider’s web too– like I had been most of my childhood. My soul reached out to her wanting to free her from her confinement, and I took a steady stride towards her. She sensed my presence. Her mind caressed mine at that moment, and her head snapped up savagely. I froze in my tracks. She did not want me to come near her. I could feel her fear radiating from her, sending shell surging shocks throughout the air. I knew something then. I had been very much mistaken.

This creature was no wounded bird. She was a threat. She was a white tiger posing as a mortal, playing some deadly game. Her green eyes glowing with infinite hatred and something more. Hunger. There was only one place I had seen hunger that savage, it was the hunger my people possessed. This threatening girl, with her blood red lips and icy skin sensed me, even though I was not physically there with her. She continued to study my energy—I wondered what she sensed about me. While I wanted to move closer to her, I was unable to. I was trapped in snares she set for me. Our chains could have made for a matching set. I did what I could, and took as much of her in as possible. One thing was for certain, this tiger in mortal flesh was the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on.  Imaginably, one of the most dangerous too—someone that could come of some use to me later on. Yes, the Tesseract was good. It’s plan for me set. I am certain, if even I wanted to look away from her I would not have been able to. This tiger girl had snared me in more ways than one, and so had the Tesseract.

Without consent the vision was ripped from me, leaving me breathless, disoriented, and enraged, but not before I got a mental image of my surroundings—most notably, a steel plaque on the wall, back-lit with harsh fluorescent, casting a deformed shadow on the floor “S.H.I.E.L.D.” it said. And there, just outside of the girl’s prison, a dark-skinned man cloaked in shadow wearing a grim expression and an eye-patch. He studied her with the same intensity I had.

I had everything I needed. Somehow I would find her, no matter the cost.

I will upload the teaser for part 2 most likely within the next week.

Again, please reblog if you enjoyed. I would be forever grateful friends! I love feedback friends!

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Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this! Peace friends!

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MAY WRAP-UP

This month, I think I spent way too much time in booktube that my attention for a certain book quickly goes to another one. I’m quite mad at myself because I had not been consistent of my May TBR. Even so, I’m still pretty proud of myself because I’ve read more than what I expected to read. Also, I would say there were books that disappointed me this month but there were some that I quickly rated as 5 stars and made me so emotional.

So here are the books that I’ve read for the month of May.

NEW ADULT/ADULT ROMANCE

To Love Jason Thorn by Ella Maise (2/5)

The story is told by POV’s main characters, Olive and Jason. Olive is an indie author whose book will be adapted into a movie. She then finds out that the actor who will be playing the male protagonist is her brother’s childhood bestfriend/ her childhood crush and first love, Jason.

I honestly love the childhood crush and second chance romance trope on this book but it was getting bad and bad as I continue to read. I even prepared myself to be ready for a major twist or revelation but I was just disappointed. It felt like there was no real and impressive conflict on their relationship. I enjoyed the first few chapters and maybe towards the first half but it just got really crappy. There were cringey love scenes and sometimes the characters were being dumb that it is so frustrating.

(P.s. Every time Jason calls Olive “little one”, I cringe and I remember Thanos from Avengers lol.)

The Guy on the Right by Kate Stewart (3.5/5)

This is a friends to lovers novel. Main characters are Theo and Laney. Theo is quite shy and a reserved person. He lives in a house with Troy, the popular playboy roommate. He calls himself as “the guy on the right” because Troy always takes the spotlight and many girls go after him. He met Laney on a party. She, on the other hand is the quirky, outspoken and hardworking country girl. They became close, started a social media page and they eventually fell in love with each other.

This is my first new adult book ever. I’m usually into young adult and adult books so it was a huge step for me to explore this genre and gladly I enjoyed this book and now I’m more interested to read other new adult books. The storyline was good. I gave it only 3.5 stars because it was just an okay read for me. I love the elements of music and social media. The characters were also charming in their own ways. And you’ll get quotations called Grannism every end of a chapter. Some were really relatable.

Read my full review:

The Naked Truth by Vi Keeland (4/5)

The book is all about a second chance romance. Layla, a lawyer, was asked to do the pitch for a prospect client to their law firm. She didn’t know that the client she’s gonna impress was Gray, her ex who just got out of prison. Gray want Layla back and he wants to clear all the misunderstanding and explain to her why he had to lie to her.

I didn’t expect to love this book. I love the shift of timelines from present to the past. I thought that it will be just full of steamy scenes but the plot was amazing. The twists and turns were impressive. There’s one that really struck me and I literally screamed with that revelation. It was a major drama I didn’t see coming. I think people who love K-Drama (like me) would like this book. I also love how the author portrayed the aspects of family, marriage as well as death. The lawyer-prisoner romance was also interesting. It is my first time reading that kind of trope. My only issue with this book is Layla being sometimes annoying with her petty arguments.

The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren (5/5)

Due to food poisoning, Olive’s twin sister and Ethan’s brother can’t make it to their honeymoon in Maui. Thus, Olive and Ethan were asked to take their places. The problem is, Olive and Ethan do not get along very well. They pretty much hate each other’s guts but the two need to work together and act as newly married couple. Only, they didn’t realize that this free vacation is changing their lives.

This was an easy 5 stars for me. I enjoyed this book so much because it was atmospheric. It felt like I was on the beach myself because of how engaging the story was. The enemy to lovers and fake marriage/relationship tropes were done beautifully. I was easily hooked into the story and the twists were just freaking good. Olive and Ethan’s chemistry is so strong. Their banters were very fun. I just love love love this book.

Read my full review:

Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover (5/5)

The story revolves around Tate and Miles. Tate is a nurse who has no time for love and Miles is a pilot who doesn’t want to love again. Their first meeting was not great but their paths always cross because he’s her new neighbor and he’s her brother’s friend and co-pilot. Physical attraction grew between them and they can’t put aside their desires so they had some sort of friends with benefits relationship. But things get really bad because they are slowly breaking their own rules.

This is officially one of my favorite books of all time. Everything in this book is just perfect. I kind of judged this book very wrongly 2 years ago when I first tried to read this because I thought it will be just about sex and at that time my smut level on books was really low. But, I decided to read it again out of a whim at freaking midnight. I looked past through the love scenes (though idk I find it dreamy and romantic now) and focused on the story, and swear, I was blown away. I never thought that I would cry so badly again over a book.

Read my full review:

FANTASY

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas (2/5)

This is somewhat a Beauty and the Beast retelling. Feyre, a normal mortal girl, killed a Faerie (a magical creature) while she was hunting for food. She was punished to live in a High Fae’s manor to pay for the life she had taken and she ends up falling in love with Tamlin, her captor who can shapeshift and who wears a crappy mask.

I really want to love this book. Some people told me to don’t stop reading because it will get good. But sadly, I just did not like it (Sorry! ). The writing is atmospheric though, I admired it at first. However, as I go on, the description of the settings or for the other things were too much and I think did not necessarily affect the situation at hand. Sometimes, it was just too flowery and over with metaphors. Feyre and Tamlin as characters were not effective, their chemistry is “meh”. There were cringey lines especially on the love scenes. The plot twists were not hard for me to predict. I think this book was not just for me to read. Though, I’ve been told that the sequel is the best among the series so I might give it a shot soon.

The Grisha Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo

Shadow & Bone (3/5)

Siege & Storm (3/5)

Ruin & Rising (2/5)

Alina had discovered her unique powers to summon light when they were assigned to cross the Shadow Fold. It’s a forsaken place of impenetrable darkness with flesh eating monsters. Leaving Mal, her childhood bestfriend and the guy that she also likes, she was sent to the Little Palace to work with the magical elites called Grisha in hopes that she could destroy the fold and unite Ravka. While working to hone her powers, she finds herself developing feelings for The Darkling, the mysterious and attractive as hell leader of Grisha. On her journey to destroy the Shadow Fold, she encountered many challenges, revelations and truth about the people around her.

I really had high expectations for this series because I love the author and her Six of Crows duology. But I was again, disappointed. It’s not that it was that bad, it was not just as great as I expected it to be. I have a love and hate relationship with this series. The first book was good. The build up of the story was beautifully done. I love the magical system and the characters were intriguing, but only at first. I understand why the Darkling is hyped up till now because he is absolutely mysterious and hot (plus Ben Barnes will be playing the role for the Netflix adaptation). Revealing Alina’s power as well as the Darkling’s was very cool. The second book is where the Darkling gets literally dark. Even though this was more tensed because of the twists, I enjoyed and laughed many times than the first book because of Nikolai. He’s not the main character of this series but its funny because I like him the most. Scratch that. I love him. The third book was just so disappointing. I enjoyed the side characters’ romance more and the twists were not that impressive. And the ending? Worst. I think there’s one common denominator of all the things that I didn’t like in this series, and that is Alina being a typical weak female protagonist. She is just annoying sometimes, too dependent of the other characters and does weak and petty arguments.

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo (5/5)

This is the sequel of the Six of Crows duology. Kaz and his crew did the heist they were asked to do but they had to face their consequences and take down the real enemy. As much as I’m excited to tell you more about the plot, I won’t go any further because I don’t want to spoil anything.

I absolutely love the first book and I was not disappointed with this one. This is my best fantasy reads so far. I fell in love more with Kaz, Inej, Matthias, Niña, Wylan and Jesper. They are just freaking amazing. The character development was done so good. The plot twists are super amazing and I got fooled many times. Also, the ending is so satisfying. I have to admit, I enjoyed this duology more than The Grisha Trilogy.

Read my full review:

YOUNG ADULT CONTEMPORARY

10 Blind Dates by Ashley Elston (4/5)

We follow Sophie’s journey towards healing her broken heart. Her Grandma decided to set up her in blind dates and the guys he’ll be dating are chosen by some of her family members. So, she went onto these days, in hopes to forget her ex-boyfriend. But things get complicated. Her ex wants her back but the feelings she had for an old friend is growing back.

If you’re looking for something that is light, cute and a quick read, this is the book for you. The blind dating thing was just very cute. I never expected to like it, but it was just interesting and each date was fun in their own ways. I also love the essence of family and friendship on this book. As a person who grew up in a family-oriented household, I can relate so much of the main character.

Read my full review:

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera (5/5)

In this world, there’s this system called Death Cast. They call people to give them an alert that they’re gonna die on that day. No when and how but only the information that on that day that you are called, it’s your time to say goodbye to the world. Mateo had been always paranoid about the time that he will receive the call. So, when Death Cast called him, he had been more paranoid than ever. Then, he met Rufus, who’s also gonna die that day, through The Last Friend app. Despite the two having very different attitude towards accepting their death, they decided to spend their last day together.

This is the kind of book that is very hard to put down. The title itself is already very intriguing. All the time I was reading this, I can’t help but to be anxious because knowing anytime soon, Rufus and Mateo are gonna die. I had a lot of theories on how they would die but it was no where near. The narration is very deceiving which I love. The message of this book is also very touching plus the characters are very relatable and I can’t help to put myself in their shoes. I know it is unpleasant to think about death especially these times but this book just made me realize things about life and it made me reflect and ask myself on how I’ve been living my life so far. I love this book so much that it is one of my best reads for this year and I might make a full review for this one.

So those were all the books that I've read for the month of May. For June, I've been thinking to read genres that I don't usually read such as msytery and thrillers. I hope I would be consistent on my next month's TBR.

Thank you for reading. I hope some of the books caught your interest. Till my next post ❤

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Ice Melts When Heated ~ Chapter 6

Relationships: Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Rating: Mature

Tags: Alternate Universe - Skating, figure skating, Rivals, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies is a slight overstatement tho, Banter, Time Skips, Rating May Change

Ao3: x

It felt like they’d been talking for days, Jason bringing out three notebooks as well as paperwork for the actual rink, telling him they were all important. It turned out Jason was a level of obsessive compulsive that Tim had honestly never seen in him before. It didn’t seem like something he’d picked up off of Bruce or Talia either, as he’d looked through a few of them. It seemed like he documented everything he did training wise, setting out meal plans around competitions, ideas for snacks to take whilst flying, with comments about how he hated plane food. Tim liked making lists but this was a whole other level. Jason would probably kill him for eating Froot Loops for dinner sometimes not to mention his coffee consumption.

He’d always taken Jason as the sort that would wing it but then again, he might have been more like that when he was younger, his injury had taken quite a bit of time to recover from and when he’d been injured. “Where are you going to stay, your parents support you right? Which means they probably aren’t thrilled about the cost of this.”

Tim glanced up from one of the books, looking across the table. “They weren’t in love with the sudden plane tickets or the fact that I hired a car but they’re happy I’ve come across, they just wished I waited a little longer. I can get a hotel room for a little bit and then start looking for an apartment if it becomes a permanent move.”

“A hotel room? For fifty-one nights, at least? That’s going to cost thousands of dollars.”

Tim couldn���t help but laugh, handing the notebook back over to Jason. “You’re already counting down the sleeps until Worlds? Is it your version of Christmas?” The other man shrugged, offering no real response to the question. It was no secret Jason was competitive, every competition was another goal in a not too distant future. He’d listened to him complain about how he hated off season to Dick a time or two before. “As for the hotel unless you have a better idea, where else would I go?”

“My place is a shoebox but it’s got a second bedroom, which is currently just being used as storage.”

Staying at Jason’s would make things cheaper, would mean his parents couldn’t breathe down his neck about the costs of the move quite so much. But it meant living with Jason, who he’d tried to hook up with when he’d needed someone to comfort him. Experimenting whether he was capable of coaching him was one thing, living with him was a whole other story. “But that means you won’t have storage.” A lame excuse at best, if there was a way to reduce costs any sensible person wouldn’t care about the fact that they had less storage.

He could see a few muscles twitch, Tim unable to read if it was an annoyed reaction or an amused one. “Just say no if you’re uncomfortable with the offer.”

“I’m not- I haven’t booked anything in yet, so at least for tonight I’m not going to say no.”

“Tonight’s actually not good for me…” The way each word was exaggerated made it all too obvious that he was making a joke, but Tim played along with a frown. If Jason wanted to poke fun then he was more than willing to let him. He was doing him a favour regardless of how much he was going to make Tim pay for it. “I’m kidding, you will have to sleep on the sofa unless we can find an air mattress at Migros.”

“Migros?”

“It’s a supermarket, but we can go there and if it fails you’ll get to curl up on my sofa until you can order a bed online or whatever.”

Tim nodded slowly, opening his mouth to make a smart comment but closing it almost instantly, he was in no place to judge when it came to apathy about things that weren’t related to skating. It was how he’d been able to let certain comments slide off his back. “Well I guess if I stay at yours it also makes training easier, because we would end up leaving at the same time often enough.”

“What times are you used to doing training with proper coaching though.”

He looked down, it wasn’t something Jason was going to like, his training schedule seemed so strict that Tim’s assortment of times was going to make a mockery of the sport. “The truth is going to make you mad.”

“He didn’t do anything?”

“No, it was more a ‘when I can fit you in’ kind of thing lately, because he saw me more than anyone else other than the demon child. So sometimes it would be at 6am and then the next day he’d have like twenty minutes spare at 9pm so we’d squeeze some in there. It used to be better that’s just how it has been lately, but well you’d know because well you kind of helped drop the bomb that he had a kid with Talia.”

“I didn’t drop any bombs, I just implied the secret he already knew about could leak at any moment. Like he fucked with Talia’s career too, I feel like people haven’t really put the timeline together with that. Everyone he touches, aside from Dick, turns against him.” Jason said, Tim rubbing his hands together under the table. Talking about Bruce didn’t feel right, he was mad, how could he not be? But it could easily turn into bad mouthing for the sake of it, not ever actually getting to a better place themselves. Which meant Bruce would be right about him. “I will say, I feel like the primary focus is getting your head put together for the free program, you generally win the short and then the free is where you aren’t as composed. Your short program’s worst score for this season was a 101.75 at Four Continents, right? Which is higher than my best for the year.”

“Have you not cracked 100 points in the short this year?”

“I have, barely though, my triple axel as a singular jump has been really bad this year. In combination, it’s great but there’s issues with it in the short program.”

“It’s weird that you know what my lowest short program score is, I tend to focus on potential scores so I know what I need to do when everyone is at their best.” He couldn’t fathom how Jason had all those scores in his head, it wasn’t easy to remember every single one of his own scores because in truth he didn’t always agree with his scores, some days he felt like he skated better than what the judges gave him and other days he would say he did worse. It balanced out over time but it all depended on the judges and the competitions.

Jason snorted, seemingly amused by the turn in conversation. “I’m offended that you aren’t following my scores as closely as I am yours. You make a mockery of our rivalry Timothy.” It wasn’t the first-time Jason had referred to them as rivals, it was less aggressive than it used to be, but it wasn’t one that was about competing for the attention of a coach, even if he couldn’t seem to get the edge to hold a lead at the end of a competition they’d pushed each other to be better skaters despite living on separate continents.

“Not everyone can be the Rain Man of scores.”

“That’s not fair! I just have it all written down at home, I only know the most recent one because I was there.”

Tim couldn’t help making a face, he looked up the records and watched recent skates of competitors but scores was so specific, so debatable anyway that it seemed pointless. “Why? I’ve got binders of score sheets but I only have people that I was competing against.”

“Because the brain works in strange ways and it’s become a vice.”

“A vice? You drink and you definitely used to smoke how is being obsessive compulsive about scores training and diet a vice, wouldn’t it make you more stressed?”

“It’s complicated.” That smile, it made it seem like he was joking or poking fun rather than it actually being too complicated for him to explain.

“I can’t tell if this is revenge for my avoiding your questions at Arkham.”

“It’s not, I don’t understand how I got the itch for it but it keeps me focused and when winning gives you more than anything else can why wouldn’t you keep doing it, I guess it’s superstitious, like how footballers will go to an exact place for breakfast before a home game or they won’t have sex on game day or putting on the -”

Tim threw his hands up, an act of surrender. “I get it, don’t give me fifty analogies.” He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. This was probably bound to be a mistake, but at worst it would be a few weeks and they could decide it was a failed experiment that taught the figure skating world a lesson. First being don’t coach/be coached by your biggest competition, and second being don’t burn bridges back at your original rink.

If they screwed this up there was little to no chance that Bruce would take him back, although he wasn’t the first person he’d run to at this point anyway.

---

It took a week to find some sort of a groove and two weeks for the figure skating world to realise exactly where he was. In truth, he had overestimated the abilities of how die-hard fans managed to spread gossip like wildfire but two weeks still wasn’t all that much time. The call from Dick after a week had been an awkward one, the other just trying to figure out if he was ever coming back and then to give him a brotherly lecture about how this could end in disaster.

So far it had been fine though, they definitely didn’t agree on everything but there was a better balance of power. He wasn’t afraid to fight back with Jason. So far it hadn’t been yelling, more heated discussions under their breaths about how one or the other had no idea what they were talking about.

Jason wanted to hear him out each time though. A welcome change that made making adjustments make far more sense than they ever had with Bruce.

Living together had proven to be the hard part, he hadn’t been wrong about the apartment being tiny, which meant they were in each other’s space all too often but it had been the rearranging of items that had been the real challenge. The boxes hadn’t been a major issue, getting the mattress around everything had been. He wouldn’t say either of them got heated about it, but both of them at one point or another in having to move the desk and bookcase that sat in the living space said ‘fuck it’ and just laid on the mattress in the middle of the room.

Tim had even fallen asleep at one point, surely for no longer than ten minutes to find his body outlined with random books. Had it not been for Jason’s laughter as he took several pictures he wouldn’t have woken up. They both weren’t used to living with someone on a full time basis and in Tim’s mind at least it was working for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d lived with someone for more than a month at a time that wasn’t a nanny or a butler when his parents decided he just needed someone that could cook and clean. Ironically it felt like he’d had less freedom than when he was in high school because there was always someone there to check up on him.

He wasn’t going to lie it felt nice to have someone around, a year ago every time Jason spoke to him he still felt agitated and now he was actively enjoying Jason’s company. Regardless of whether they kept up the coaching arrangement, Tim had already been compelled to make the move more permanent, which meant spending his free time looking at apartments that he could actually move all of his own stuff into. “If we get a bigger place can we get a cat?” Jason uttered, the man hovering over his shoulder as he had twenty tabs open of different apartments or townhouses.

“We… that’s presumptuous.” He said, tilting his head back to look up at the other, for as much shit as Jason liked to talk about his bad eating habits he sure did have a fascination with yogurt pouches.

“You’re strictly looking at two or three bedroom places and you already said you don’t want to live alone, did I assume wrong?” He hadn’t, for as vaguely as they discussed things he wasn’t about to press Jason into moving unless he showed interest. After all, they’d barely been living together and in another two weeks they could be read to kill each other.

Why Jason felt that he could only have a cat if he moved somewhere bigger was beyond him. “Selina might give you one… she’d give me one, the past two times one of her cats has given birth she’s offered.”

“And you said no, that’s outrageous.”

Tim shrugged, there’d always been a reason as to why not get one. “My parents didn’t want me having a pet, claimed that because there are periods of the year no one would be at home it was cruel.

There seemed to be a small hum behind him, Tim focusing back on his computer in front of him. A place that appeared to be the right fit would come along soon enough, one that he wouldn’t have to worry about whether someone else was going to get it before they’d have the chance to move in. “That’s basically why I don’t have one now. I jokingly asked Talia if she’d take care of it when I was away if she wasn’t at competition with me.”

“Let me guess she threatened to drown it?”

“Not quite, just gave me this weird lecture like she is my parent.” Tim’s lips pressed into a line as he tried to hold back any laughter. He’d already witnessed that a few times, the dynamic of between Jason and his coach far more interesting than he’d thought. He had always assumed Talia and Ra’s were slave drivers who had their skaters doing eight hours of on ice training a day and then extra off ice work. Turned out that Jason was making himself do more hours on ice than needed and Talia was constantly chiding him, telling him he’d end up injured if he pushed himself too far.

Some probably would take it as her manipulating him but it seemed to work, made him take breaks when Jason had been going at it for too long. “Don’t worry once she stops being angry about you ‘wasting’ my time you’ll end up being the favourite child.”

“She has a son. Granted most people hate the brat but he is blood for her.”

A hand rested on his shoulder, patting it gently. He barely had to infer as to who he was talking about and Jason knew, whether it be Damian or Bruce. The names were able to fall out of his daily vocabulary. “She doesn’t like the things he does or says, which in all honesty he’s worse now than he used to be. Just you wait, she’ll warm up, I’ll lose my place as favourite in her eyes and then she’ll nag you about every single person you could possibly be interested in dating.”

“If one more person asks me about Conner I’ll scream.” He joked, pushing the hand away. Visibly cringing at the photos on his computer. Some people really didn’t know how to take pictures that made their houses look more flattering. “He has a thing for blondes, caught him and Cassie Sandsmark hooking up on the back of the bus between trips of a show. It made me realise dumb teenage shit happens regardless of whether you’re in the fishbowl of high school or not.”

“Oh, dumb teenage shit will happen if you’re not a teenager.”

“Obviously, I mean I feel like most of those that I came through Juniors with have always been pretty serious. Except for maybe Cassie and Steph.” Even the two of them were still pretty serious, he remembered watching Jason and the kids his age coming up into seniors and whilst they were all serious about skating they were all pretty goofy people off the ice.

There was that hand patting his shoulder again, this time it was certainly to make fun, the pats getting harder with each second. “It’s okay, I’ll bring out the inner four-year-old in you so you can experience a childhood.”

“You’re literally eating yogurt pouches.” Tim chuckled, pushing the hand away again, only for both of Jason’s arms to wrap around his head, squeezing as though he was trying to pop it.

“I wasn’t trying to say I was better, damn baby bird not everything is a competition.” Enough things were competitions, the smaller man slumping down in the chair to escape the other’s grasp, only for Jason to drop him the moment he started to lose grip, the momentum making Tim slide to the floor.

All he could hear was obnoxious laughter as Jason tried pushing the chair in. He truly did know how to be childlike at times. “Baby bird… haven’t heard that one in a while.” He said, finding it hard to not laugh at how this must have looked, it was stupid enough being the victim of this.

“What are you talking about I call you it all the time?” The chair stopped moving, but that was because he’d managed to make Tim wriggle back until he was under the desk completely. “Now it’s my turn to look at places.”

There was nowhere for him to move but thankfully Jason sat on the chair trapping him further by putting his legs under the desk. Couldn’t he just have sat sideways? In all fairness, he could just fight his way out. “Gross, some of these places are all tile flooring, do you know how cold it gets?”

“Yeah but they’re big.” He protested, resting his forehead against Jason’s knee.

And he thought how they were just moments ago looked strange. “That’s worse, it would be so hard to keep the place warm during winter. It snows here.”

“It snowed yesterday, you’re basically saying water is wet.” He retorted, flicking at Jason’s shins, he’d be able to annoy him to the point of being let out from under here in just a few minutes, he had to believe his patience was stronger than Jason’s. “I’m just looking for ideas anyway, it’s not like any of these are going to be available in a few months’ time. Gotta know what I want first though. Apparently, all you care about is a place with no tiles outside of the bathroom and enough room for a cat.”

“The cat should have its’ own room, which it will never sleep in because it thinks it’s a person and it wants to sleep with one of us.”

“That’s oddly specific.”

“Cats are weird, I don’t have any other explanation for it.” Jason flinched, almost kneeing him in the nose when Tim pinched his Achilles, the trapped man laughing softly to himself. “Stop it.” He whined, a hand swatting under the table as Tim pinched again.

“Stop it…” Tim mimicked, just happy to be getting some sort of a reaction out of Jason, it meant he’d either get out from under sooner or Jason would fight him which would make way for the opportunity for escape anyway.

“Unless you’re going to do something more entertaining for the both of us just sit pretty under there until my turn is over.”

Tim could feel the blush spreading across his face, thankful now that Jason couldn’t see him. “Don’t you get plenty of that from Roy?” He mocked, resting his back against the wall, using his feet to push Jason’s seat back until it teetered.

“Roy’s not as pretty Timbers. Don’t tell him I told you that because I don’t want to take a hockey puck to the hea-” That did the trick, Jason toppling backwards, too distracted by talking to realise just how far Tim had managed to angle the chair back. “I am taking back my offer to let you blow me.” Jason didn’t move as Tim crawled out from under the desk, the two of them smiling at each other as Tim stopped to stand.

“I think that might be a good thing, I don’t feel like fulfilling a porn trope for you.”

“But it’s the only reason I wanted to become your coach. Also, Roy and I haven’t ever done anything so you don’t need to get jealous.”

“I know, because if you could hook up with any guy it would be Dick Grayson.”

“How could you not? Especially Dick when he first switched to ice dance and was learning how to do all those lifts.”

“So, you hooked up with Dick?”

Laughter followed, Jason shaking his head as he started to get up, somersaulting backwards only for his feet and knees to hit the sofa. “Nope, he treats me the same way he treats you, as soon as he mentors someone he wouldn’t dare.”

Tim laughed, helping Jason up, resisting all temptation to let go of his hand and drop him again. “I don’t think I had the same fascination with Dick but for the longest time he treated me like a kid brother and when he didn’t anymore I less saw him as this unattainable entity that I was chasing and more like a stretched-out kid who had too much candy a lot of the time.”

“Well he adores you. I don’t think he would have let me yell at Bruce if it wasn’t for you.” He wouldn’t deny that, there was no use in doing so, Dick told him how much he loved him, it might have been in a familial aspect as well as a place of mutual admiration but it was a relationship that he knew deep down he couldn’t ruin even if he actively attempted to.

“He’s obsessed with trying to get me to do lifts with him, but I’m not into getting dropped by him.”

“You’re smaller than both Barbara and Kory so why the fear of being dropped?”

Tim rolled his eyes, leaning against the desk. “Because you’ve got to lift yourself in part and also you’ve got to put 100% faith in them, not dropping you and we’ve all seen compilation videos of bad falls… you’re featured in a lot of them.”

There’s a small noise that comes from Jason, Tim unable to tell if it was amusement or annoyance. “So that’s how Bruce teaches kids these days… or you’re a sadist that enjoys watching people get hurt.”

“Neither, I wanted to learn what not to do if that makes sense, because I like my knees, ankles and just my body in general.” There’s a nod, definitely understanding, although even explaining it made him sound like a sadist regardless. “Although I guess it’s ironic saying I like my knees when I’m jumping quads.”

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The Move Of The Cycle, Tim Drake Defects to Al Ghul’s Rink But Who is His Coach?

Vicki Vale

After the explosive video highlighting how there has been trouble in paradise for some time between Bruce Wayne’s team and current national champion Tim Drake. It didn’t take long for him to be spotted in Geneva, Switzerland. It was one of several places that was thrown around in gossip amongst fans  online, many arguing that Ra’s Al Ghul had been attempting to solicit Drake for years, although many pointed out that Drake had repeatedly rebuked suggestions and would likely join the Kents, keeping to a less foreign environment and with people that he is knowingly comfortable with.

Well the mystery was solved by a few fans who were skaters at the Swiss rink that posted images of Drake on fan accounts, corroborated by an instagram story from rival Jason Todd of Drake asleep at the rink with the location tagged.

The immediate assumption was that Ra’s Al Ghul was Drake’s coach for the remainder of the season, however, after a very brief conversation which resulted in this reporter being hung up on, Al Ghul denied that Drake had requested his coaching services. Thus attention turned to his daughter, Talia Al Ghul, coach of Todd and former coach and mother of Damian Wayne, who said; “That whilst Timothy has been a welcome and exciting presence, he has taken a more unconventional route for this Worlds competition.” She’d gone on to say that whilst she was willing to provide a support role she wasn’t his coach.

This leaves us with many questions, regarding whether Drake has a coach or not, considering how he’d handled his loss at Four Continents I’d suspect that he has some sort of team behind him, however, there might be no official coach. One all too entertaining theory that came from twitter user @tjdfreaks, was that despite no one being entirely sure of the legality whilst being direct competition for each other, Jason Todd was his coach, as they have been seen together on ice and going to and leaving the rink most days.

I suspect said theory is little more than just a theory but it was too juicy to share and their thread will be linked below.

https://twitter.com/tjdfreaks/status/1094150268957089792

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The ice is different, everyday it feels like something else, too hard, too soft, just not right for what he wants. In the morning he can’t land jumps sensibly and then come afternoon it feels bad for spinning regardless of whether it was freshly cut or not. It was early March already and he couldn’t get comfortable with what was supposed to be his home ice and in a month he was going to have to figure out how to skate on ice that possibly hadn’t even been laid early enough for it to have set right.

Everything was just different.

He had more freedom with his practices and time sure, and the scheduling had worked so well right from the start but that didn’t mean he was comfortable, Bruce might have screwed it all up but it was something he’d begun to get used to, just as he’d gotten used to sitting in the car and finally letting out how frustrated and upset he was. Now, Jason was painstakingly making him show every single feeling, making him let it out in the moment even though really it just made him want to tell the other to fuck off. Something that Jason also actively encouraged. Talia seemed to at least be entertained, he couldn’t quite tell whether she actually was, but after he told Jason to ‘go have another grade 3’, she had a more obvious reaction. He wasn’t sure if it was because she found it funny but she said that it wasn’t half as bad as the things Jason had said to her over the years, or in the past week, a sign that she was perhaps warming up to him, despite his being another distraction for Jason.

Ra’s on the other hand, still looked perpetually seething with the situation, the fact that he was training at his rink but not under his coaching. So close to being in his grasp, another success to his legacy only for it to be snatched away by Jason, who’d been snatched away by his own daughter, constantly so close to the top skaters of this generation but always just missing out. There were moments Tim could see Ra’s watching him and Jason, glaring at the two of them, a look darkening whenever they seemed to be screwing around too much for his liking. He was sure there was at least one occasion that he’d gone to yell at them when their working on footwork had turned into Jason trying to lift him whilst Tim did everything he could to flee. They ended up having a low speed crash into the barriers when neither one of them were paying all that much attention.

He stopped at the barrier to take a drink, wiping sweat off of his face with the towel. Nothing felt right, so heavy, edgework that he could do in his sleep feeling unclean and sloppy. “You look like you’re fighting with every little element at all times in a runthrough.” He should have known from the sound of blades scraping to a stop that it was Jason, they were the only two who had their stuff over here and aside from the initial excitement, most seemed to have gotten used to his presence enough to not let it distract from their own training.

“I’m not fighting, I just am not-”

“Comfortable? You’ve been saying that for weeks, are you sure it’s not your body and mind being completely in sync?” It wasn’t direct, but he could pick up on what Jason was saying, that this was him putting blame on one thing because he needed it to be something other than him, for it to be something completely out of his control. “What are you scared of, other than crashing into the barrier again?”

There were plenty of things to be scared of, injury, embarrassment, people thinking they were right about him, Bruce and Damian being right. “It happening again, and then every time I go out to do this program like a curse, I can’t just come off like a cocky asshole like you can.” He’d never phrase it like that to Bruce, even though in his days as a pairs skater that was exactly how he’d seemed. Jason only laughed though, looking more understanding about the matter than he really had to. “I know Bruce is wrong about me, I know I’m capable of doing things I haven’t done yet, I don’t need a pep talk about that, I just need to think and figure out how to make this work, for every element to work on it’s own and then also work-”

“You’re overthinking, which yeah it makes sense because you’re, you, but you’re focusing on the wrong things. Every little detail doesn’t have to be perfect, this isn’t nationals so no one is going to get perfect scores, it’s better that it works together than you get a perfect Grade of Execution and full levels for your technical components.”

That certainly sounded like something that would stereotypically would be a mind game from a teenage girl who thought she was living in a movie. “I’m not worried about it being perfect, I do want all positive marks and all level 4s, but one thing that’s wrong affects everything else.”

“And you have a little under month to get it all right, but you need to want to win, rather than want to make sure people aren’t right about you.”

“Yeah, a month that’s not a long time.” He groaned, pushing away from the boards, glancing behind himself as he glided backwards. “Your pep talk sucked and was super ineffective by the way.”