#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.

[idolsummons]

Depression to Despair (Tez Couldn't Think of a Better Title)

Finally wrote the drabble about Ren bearing witness to an elder god summoning, enjoy ♥

Trigger warnings for depression, suicidal ideation, etc.

Note: I don't have depression or suicidal ideation, which features as a theme in this drabble. This was written for fun and not any kind of serious piece delving into the mindset of humans, what have you.

[Ren] wanna come over 2nite? Been working on a song

[Hana] I’d love to but I’ve already got something else on, sorry! :(

[Hana] Maybe tomorrow?

[Ren] yeah no prob

[Ren] what’s 2nite?

[Hana] Dinner with another idol and her manager, and my manager, get to know each other kinda thing. Thinking about a collab.

[Ren] have fun

[Hana] I’d have more fun at a dinner if it wasn’t for my strict diet lol

[Ren] gotta let lose sometimes

[Ren] go enjoy yourself

[Hana] Thanks, I’ll try to keep that in mind :) 

[Hana] See you tomorrow! <3

[Ren] see ya

Ren set his phone down on his bedside table.

There is no dinner.

She’s trying to spare my feelings but I know how she really feels.

She hates me. Why would anyone like Hana like a pathetic excuse of a human like me? It was stupid to ever try to get in touch in the first place. I should just stay out of everyone’s way and keep to myself.

Better yet, I should just -

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Ren grumbles. He rubs his hands over his face. It doesn’t help to get rid of the thoughts, but it’s better than doing nothing.

From the ground comes a gentle miaow. He removes his hands from his face and sees a familiar fluffy face.

‘Dinner time already, Jiji?’ The black cat meows again.

Ren gets up and proceeds to the kitchen, where he’s finally, after much rubbing up against his legs like she’s trying to make him fall, able to give Jiji her dinner consisting of raw meat. She starts eating straight away, paying no mind to Ren going outside to light up a cigarette.

Just hold on for one more night.

***

[Hana] Hey Ren! :) 

[Hana] Sorry about last night, you still free tonight?

[Ren] yeah

[Ren] still wanna come over?

[Hana] Yep!

[Ren] awesome

[Ren] come whenever u want

[Ren] anything u want 4 dinner?

[Hana] No thanks, I’ll eat before I leave :) 

[Ren] k

[Ren] see u soon

Despite his kind offer to cook (it might be that Hana refused the offer because he’s not the best chef out there), Ren himself does not eat; it would be too much of a hassle. Besides, Hana’s visiting has given him just enough energy to finally clean up. He doesn’t know how long it’s been, but clothes and various things have been strewn about without much care, and a thin layer of dust covers much of the furniture. He might not have time to clean everything, but he will do what he can.

***

Regardless of whether or not she’s singing those pop songs with mass appeal, Hana has a beautiful voice. Yes, it does seem to have been trained with pop music in mind - he would never ask her to sing rock, not that that’s his style - but he feels she could easily branch out into similar genres was she so minded. So enthralled with her performance is he (as he is every time) that Ren near forgets to stop the recording once she’s finished singing.

‘How’s that?’ Hana asks as she removes her headphones. Her cheery smile has Ren’s stomach twisting into knots. ‘That’s what you had in mind, yeah?’

‘Mind giving me a moment to listen back?’

‘Go for it.’ Hana takes her seat beside Ren.

Ren begins to hum after listening to the short recording a few times. ‘Almost,’ he replies, ‘but I’m gonna have to think about it. If I send you some notes overnight, would you come back tomorrow?’

‘Absolutely. I suppose I shouldn’t keep you then.’

‘You can stay for a while longer if you want. I don’t usually sleep till late anyway.’

Hana checks her phone. ‘It’s already 9, and I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. Better get some rest, y’know?’

‘Sure.’

Both Hana and Ren stand. They move from Ren’s small home recording studio to the front door.

‘I had fun tonight,’ says Hana. She wraps her arms around Ren, who reciprocates the embrace. He finds it difficult to let go, but doesn’t want to make the situation awkward. Once his arms are no longer around her, Ren opens the door. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow!’

‘See ya.’ Ren manages a small smile as Hana looks back to wave farewell.

She only comes here because she pities me.

Ren closes the door.

You think the most popular idol in the country doesn’t have better people to hang out with?

He moves to the bathroom.

I’m just some loser wishing I can make a living off my music, and that doesn’t seem likely.

He opens the cabinet and grabs a bottle of antidepressants. He holds the bottle tight in his hand for some time. He looks at the other medications - painkillers, mostly - which sit within the cabinet.

Why shouldn’t I grab all of these and just -

‘She’ll be back tomorrow.’

Ren removes the lid from the bottle and takes what he requires and nothing more. He puts the bottle back in the cabinet and closes the door.

***

[Hana] I’m really, really sorry Ren

[Hana] Something’s come up today. I won’t be able to make it to yours tonight.

[Hana] (┬┬﹏┬┬)

[Ren] don’t stress

[Ren] it’s fine

[Hana] Tomorrow for sure, yeah? :) 

[Hana] It’s a Saturday and I don’t have any shows so it’ll be fine!

[Hana] Unless they spring something on me last moment lol

[Ren] haha

[Ren] that’d be cruel

[Hana] Yeah lol

[Ren] c u tomorrow then

[Hana] Have a good day! :) 

After feeding Jiji, Ren returns to bed and does not move for the rest of the day, save to give the cat her dinner. His thoughts consume him, with only one ray of light shining through it all.

There’s always tomorrow.

***

[Hana] Ren you’re gonna hate me.

[Ren] they sprung a surprise show on u?

[Hana] Thankfully not that but

[Hana] I have something really important that came up last minute and I won’t be done in time to get to your place.

[Hana] And I know, it’s a Saturday, it’s fine to stay up late this once, but I promised to spend time with my family tomorrow and if I don’t get up early to go to church with them, my parents won’t be happy :( 

[Ren] you’re a busy person

[Ren] things like this happen

[Hana] You’re so understanding, I don’t deserve a friend like you <3

[Hana] I’d love to set a time aside but I can’t really do that because…

[Hana] Well, you’ve seen what’s happened these past few days :( 

[Ren] I’m home in the afternoons anyway

[Ren] just lemme know when u are coming and I’ll wait for u

[Hana] Thank you sooooo much <3

[Hana] (✿◠‿◠)

She’s making up excuses so she doesn’t have to see me. Even Miyu’s not so busy that she can’t set down a date. She’s done this so she never has to see you again. She’ll stop talking to you and then you won’t have a friend in the world.

What will be the point of it all then?

Ren manages to get out of bed. He gets dressed, but only barely, throwing on nothing but a basic shirt (it used to fit, but is now a size too big) and tracksuit pants.

Jiji sleeps happily upon her bed in the sun.

She’ll never notice.

Ren leaves via the front door.

He won’t be coming back.

***

There’s always people on the beach, even in this colder weather, whether playing around or walking their dogs. He’s used the hours to reflect - on himself, his life, those who have been closest to him over the years, on her. Every time he’s come to the same conclusion.

It’s pointless.

Nobody cares.

They won’t notice if you’re gone.

The sun is down before the beach is clear.

He walks down to the shore, stopping short of where the waves brush against his shoes.

The shoes are removed and placed beside him.

With one last deep breath, Ren begins to walk towards the depths.

He takes one look back at everything. At the sand, at the buildings in the distance, at…

‘Hana?’

Despite the fact that only the moon lights the beach, it’s impossible to miss her. Even were it not for the styling of her hair, purple streak on display, but he recognises her from her very build. Something seemingly bundled up is in her hands while she rushes across the beach, paying no mind to the man who stands knee deep in ocean water.

See? She’s not busy. She just didn’t want to spend time with you.

No, that’s not it. What’s she doing here? What’s she holding?

Ren waits until some distance has come between them and begins to follow behind her. His shoes remain at the shore.

It’s some 10 minutes before Hana and Ren arrive at the destination at the end of the beach. Ren keeps himself hidden within some shrubbery nearby; he does not wish to disturb whatever it is she’s doing.

Hana places her belongings on the sandy ground, save for the fabric which he had previously thought to be what kept her items bundled up; rather, it’s a robe which she dons rather quickly.

A pole - or so it seems to be from a distance - is taken from her belongings, and Hana begins to draw something in the sand. From his distance and viewpoint, Ren can’t begin to guess at what it might be.

Once complete, Hana picks up a book - better described as a tome for its size - and flips it open. She seems to look between the book and her drawing for a little while until she nods to herself. She must be satisfied with whatever she’s done.

Hana looks up into the sky, and Ren does, too. All he sees there is the moon. He’s not sure what kind of importance it plays in her task, but Ren observes Hana looking up at the moon for a while longer.

When she is finally done looking at the moon, she looks back towards her handiwork and dons a hood

She flips through the pages of her book once more and begins to say something. Ren isn’t sure what, but it seems almost like a chant.

Despite not being able to hear what she’s saying or see what she’s drawn, Ren feels a tightening in his stomach. It’s not the kind he feels when spending time with Hana, nor when he receives a message from her. It’s an unease which isn’t common to him, for unease is oft replaced with depression, and depression usually comes with a feeling of emptiness which he’s all too familiar with.

It’s what brought him here this night, after all.

Rather, he gets the feeling he should run, that he should forget all that he has seen here, but his overwhelming curiosity keeps him planted on the spot. He wants to know what Hana is doing, what was so important that she didn’t wish to spend time with someone she was so adamant is her friend.

When Hana finishes chanting, nothing happens. He begins to ponder if this was all just some strange kind of rehearsal, maybe she got a part in a show or a movie and is trying to get into character, or maybe -

A dark light explodes from Hana’s drawing in the sand.

‘What the fuck?’ Ren says too loudly, like he was expecting the explosion of light to be accompanied by an appropriate amount of sound.

Hana looks back. Her eyes are wide.

‘Ren?’ Her mouth is ajar. ‘You shouldn’t be here.’

He doesn’t have time to ask any questions, nor time to even formulate such things in his mind. Before he can so much as blink the light dissipates, leaving behind something which Ren does not remember.

The last thing he does remember is darkness.

***

‘It was probably another suicide attempt.’

Ren does not open his eyes. Along with the wavering voice of his mother, obviously trying so hard not to cry, Ren can hear the gentle beeps of a heart rate monitor.

‘This wouldn’t be the first time… but usually he’s not - he -’

‘He’s been talking in his sleep,’ says an unfamiliar voice. ‘Do you know if that’s normal?’

‘Oh…’ his mother mumbles. ‘About what?’

‘We couldn’t really make any sense of it. Something hideous, taller than the trees…’

Ren’s eyes shoot open.

‘It’s coming.’

His mother and the unfamiliar woman - a doctor or a nurse - looks over.

‘Ren!’ His mother rushes to his bedside. She puts a hand to his forehead, rubbing her thumb over his skin. ‘What is it, baby?’

‘That… That thing.’ He speaks quickly, to the point where his words become jumbled. ‘It came from the beach, and - and it devoured the moon.’

The staff furrows her brow.

Ren’s mother stops the motion with her thumb. ‘What is it? You can tell me.’

‘You won’t… you won’t understand. I don’t understand, Mum. It was… was everywhere but nowhere, not of this world…’

‘You just had a bad dream is all. It’s okay, Mum’s here now.’

‘No, no, it wasn’t a dream. I saw it.’

Silence fills the room for too long, before his mother finally speaks up. ‘One of your friends wanted to see you, too. She seemed quite keen about it, too. I’ll wait outside and come back once she’s done, okay?’ She tries a kind smile, but her eyes are filled with tears. ‘I’ll get you something to eat from the cafe.’

Ren’s mother and the staff leave the room. The one who enters next is…

‘No.’ But the word does not leave his mouth. ‘No, no, no, no, no.’

‘Ren.’ Hana’s voice is shaky. She kneels beside his bed. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…’ Tears flowing down her cheeks are followed by sobbing.

‘Get out,’ he says, but it’s unclear whether the words reach her ears or not. ‘Get out!’

Though Hana remains, crying and apologising and desperately trying to make it all up to him, Ren has never felt more alone in his life.

Anguish and despair are his only roommates, his only bedfellows, his only headmates.

It feels that this will last an eternity, beyond even his demise.

Ending this suffering would be a mercy, but ending it all is no longer a present thought.

All that remains is the fuzziness of the night prior and what will surely be a lifetime of madness.

[my-mt-heart]

NuShowrunner is going to have Gimple so far up his ass that SG will be peeking out between his tonsils. Zabel most likely wants a paycheck and the spinoff might look attractive to someone who has experience but isn't very relevant. (Mercy Street was a good number of years ago.) I doubt he feels like he won the lottery, though. He's just a guy who wants to pay his bills and for all we know, he could be massive Carol fan. I think he was picked because he has enough experience that there will be some sort of product at the end and his credits are very traditional, which fits the 1980s mindset (all male, all white, with lots of things that go boom) this spinoff seems built around.

AK spent two season rebuilding the show and Carol and Daryl's relationship is at the core of her vision, but what she can deliver in 11C depends on Gimple. I don't think he dares to mess with Carol because he might need her down the line, but he definitely has an iron grip on the season. Narratively, the only ending to TWD that makes sense is that either Daryl is forcibly removed from orbiting Carol, or he's going after Carol and runs into Rick while trying to find her, but Scott Gimple isn't real big on narrative cohesion or emotional realism, so nobody should hold their breath.

I'm so tired of muppets who somehow keep failing upward. (It's not even that hard to be a good boss: just look after your damn talent! All of them, including the ones whom you don't like or are jealous of. They are what makes you look good.) I understand why AMC needed to get rid of Gimple without firing him, but waiting too long and moving him into a position with more power? They must have known that he couldn't deliver on the features because he ran the show into the ground and a vanity title should have been plenty enough.

[I realize this isn't spreading any kind of cheer, so feel free not to post it. I should be motivating you, not making you more disillusioned about the business side of things. Sorry about that. :( On the bright side: you don't work for Gimple!]

I always love getting your insight. Somehow it calms my mind that's always racing to make sense of things. I completely agree that those two avenues, either Daryl getting taken or Carol getting taken, make the most if not the only narrative/emotional sense at this point despite the "vanishing loved one" being completely overused and just making a terrible series ending. It would definitely convince me enough to watch the bro show, but like you said, unlikely to happen since Gimple and AMC only seem to care about maintaining their male audience. The failing upward trend for men infuriates me. To think how different S11 and this spinoff situation would've turned out if they had just let Angela craft her vision. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it.

Question for you. There's a lot of bts/filming evidence to suggest Daryl and Carol are going to have tons of scenes together in 11C. But with everything going on lately, how much do you think AMC will even promote Caryl? Will they promote them harder to try to lure us back in or do you think they're going to try to cut their losses with that fanbase and focus on drawing in the Rick crowd. I'm wondering how realistic it is for them to think they can rely that heavily on Rick to keep them afloat.

[thezolblade]

Just out of curiosity, what would've happened if Martin rejected Jon during the first night at his flat

Okay, got this ask before posting chapter 1 of Reconciliation, and I think that helps answer it? If he'd been firmly and completely rejected, at a certain point he'd have backed off.

Not that he'd have been reasonable - if he'd gotten a "no" when he first asked whether Martin was into him, he'd have still been wound up enough to ask "why? what about...?" and list the things he'd thought he'd noticed, while getting quite irrational and insulting. But if Martin had insisted that he saw him as nothing more than a colleague, Jon would have started doubting himself enough to mostly believe him, since he'd been telling himself right up until then that Martin couldn't really be interested. He might've snapped about how Martin shouldn't have sent mixed messages, to get the last word in before storming off to his room.

Then in the morning, once he was trying to get back into a professional mindset for work, he'd have given a very reluctant and vague apology for reading too much into things, while still 80% believing Martin, and 20% having doubts. He'd have tried to pay close attention to see if he could resolve his doubts from that point on, and would've been a mix of paranoid, desperate, and trying to keep his emotions hidden to keep up a respectable image. If he ever ran across strong evidence that Martin really did like him, e.g. by snooping and finding a written confession, then he'd have confronted him again.

However, if Martin had still answered that first "Do you want me?" question with a "yes", and then tried to say "no" to getting together that night... Well, Jon would have been far more persistent. He'd have asked "why not?" until Martin had given him some kind of reason, and "under what circumstances would you want to act on this?" - and no matter how hypothetical Martin's answer, Jon would have used it to set goals: "if and when we meet those criteria, then you'll say yes?"

Whatever conditions Martin laid out, Jon would have set his mind to making them happen - whether they were as simple as "let's see if we can go a week without arguing, and then go out on a date during the day", or as difficult as "become close enough friends that you never shout at me or insult me, and look for opportunities for one of us to be promoted / find a job elsewhere so that you're not my manager anymore, and then consider dating after a few more months of stability".

Even if Jon tried as hard as he could, he'd have slipped up if Martin set the bar high enough that losing his temper and behaving the same way as before for at least part of a day would mean failing. But if he kept up the effort for long enough to gradually improve, Martin would probably be impressed enough to encourage him, and recommend therapy, which Jon might actually consider if the issue at hand was his own mood swings (instead of a murder investigation that everyone wanted him to drop, like in season 2).

If Martin had been psychic and known all of this, he'd have been far less worried about putting his foot down. But of course, he barely knew Jon, and couldn't have guessed exactly how volatile or violent he'd get, and in a bad argument there might well have been more shoving and shouting along the way, so it would've been difficult to handle without any guarantees about the outcome.

[maximanamusic]

I used to believe I would never live the life of my dreams. Unless I did what everyone else did, go to university, get a job I hate and work my ass off for the next 10 - 15 years until I would finally have enough money to live the life I truely desire.

You see, I always knew I was an artist and always I knew I had a special gift with healing and spirituality because people used to come to me all the time with their problems. Where ever I went, since I as a teenager in high school. But I never believed I could live a life using my gifts and natural talents to make money.

So like everyone else I studied at university, to be specific I studied construction management. I worked three jobs to get me through university because student help from the Government was just not enough, plus I was addicted to being busy all the time.

After I finished university, I realised I hated the industry, the way everyone just looked forward to drinking after work, and on the weekends, the low vibes conversations. All the time constraints and the stress of meeting project management deadlines, drained my life. I just couldn't really connected with anyone deeply, so I was a loner and borderline depressed.

Finally, I had an awakening after meeting my now wife. She introduced me to a whole knew world of spirituality and people who shared my same thoughts, beliefs and dreams. Fair to say, not a lot of them had a lot of money but they were living a life I wanted to live. However, most people in the spiritual community have weird mental and emotional programming about money. A lot of people believe ‘money is the root of all evil’ and so on, and dont even want to be a millionaire, much less believe they could be one.

I was different, I always knew money was an important resource that can help me live my spiritual purpose more powerfully and therefore have more power and resources to help others.

So I quit my job and started learning how to use my natural gifts to make money. Fast forward five years later, I am now living the life of my dreams. Travelling the world, now living in beautiful Bali at a beautiful home and working when I choose to. I charge clients thousands of dollars for coaching sessions, and people happily pay it because of the life changing value I offer them.

I have multiple, automated online businesses that make me thousands every week, without having to actively work on them everyday and they are also businesses aligned with my purpose, which is helping people awaken to their true power and the truth of who they really are as a soul.

I'm a musician making, producing and recording my own music. I make movies. I share content that inspires people and most of all, I have the freedom to live how ever and where ever I choose. I can follow my soul calling and live my purpose effortlessly.

I have to pinch myself sometimes because I can’t believe I am living the life of my dreams. When a lot of my friends, and peers I used to know, are still stuck in a job they hate and don’t even believe they can live how they want. Yet, when I made the leap, I had way less money than they do now.

So it’s all about mindset, subconscious beliefs, mental and emotional programming that hold most people back. This is the first step to be able to have the right mindset, the right thoughts and emotions so you can take the right actions in order to move towards living the life of your dreams. This is the millionaire mindset.

If you want to find out more about how you can develop the millionaire set for your self. Reach out to me and i'll share some powerful information that can get you started on the right track and unleash your spiritual genius.

Or check out linktree to learn how you can work with me.

Blessings,

Max

[shotofire]

omg thank you so much xd, that was so hilarious i couldn't stop laughing 😂, you're amazing never stop writing, i would like another oneshot modern levi if you dont mind, but this time his girlfriend prank him doing the challenge "pretending to give him a head/blowjob" thank you you're amazing 🖤🖤

I never mind your requests! It makes me so happy to see them in my inbox :p Thank you, you’re so sweet!!! I had to look up what this prank was lol but I the gist of it

•MODERN!LEVI x F!READER

•Warnings: cursing, smut... but not all the way

•Season: Not set within the show

(This is sort of a part two for, Who the hell is Mike?, some parts may be confusing if you haven’t read it)

-

Your best friend Angel bursted out laughing as you told her what had happened with Levi. It had been a week since you gave him a mini heart attack. Her eyes filled with tears as the laughing continued, she definitely found it comical.

Even more so, she wishes you recorded it. Of course doing what you did was out of character for you in general, so recording was definitely a no go. Plus it’s not like you’d post it, so what’s the point.

“I’m trying to imagine this face you’re describing,” she lets out more childish giggles, “he scrunched up his nose? What if that’s like his jealous tick?”

It probably was, you’d never seen him do something like that before in all the years you two had been together. He was always calm and tried not to show expression, unless smiling, so seeing him do something so out of the ordinary was interesting.

“I don’t know, it may be,” you said and watched how her eyes sparkled with curiosity. Some part of you felt bad for what you had done, but Levi assured you it was okay. He even went as far as to say it was funny now that he knew you weren’t serious. He still would randomly tickle you and say it’s punishment for what you had done, but it was just an excuse to attack your sides and hear your uncontrollable laughter.

Even a week later he was still coming up behind you and holding you still while tickling you until he felt satisfied. It was okay for a few days but now he was just trying to annoy you, but in a way you deserved it. You had made him think you were cheating on him with some guy named Mike, so tickling was nothing compared to that.

Angel pulled out her phone, “I have something else you should do!” You raised your eyebrows skeptically, but she was already smiling. If it was something else that would hurt his heart you weren’t sure if you could do it.

Yes the facial expressions he made out of jealousy were hilarious to say the least, but his eyes had also softened in worry and hurt. That was something you didn’t want to see again. It showed you how much he loved you, and how the thought of you breaking the trust you’d built for many years scared him so much in that moment.

She showed you the video and you were kind of confused, just like the last time. It was a girl putting her hair up and leaning towards her, most likely, boyfriend then diverting her attention to something else. Angel laughed out loud, “Imagine Levi with that look of disappointment in his eyes.” You still were lost at what was going on and she noticed. She wanted to call you an oldie, but decided against it.

You truly were left out of the loop sometimes, but at the same time Angel admired that. It was rare in this day and age to have no desire for social media, and you probably had a healthier mindset than her.

The girl couldn’t help but roll her eyes at your confused state. “She made him think she was about to give him head, but she reached for the remote beside him and turned on the tv,” she explained like it was the most obvious thing ever. Maybe you didn’t get it because you never put your hair up when giving Levi a blowjob, he had a thing for holding your hair himself. You honestly didn’t think you could pull this one off due to that, Levi probably would just think you’re putting your hair up cause you feel like it.

“So uh, I don’t put my hair up when I give Levi head,” you admit with a blush, “he usually holds my hair for me.” Her eyes automatically widen and she lets out a snort at how embarrassed you were saying that. “Then you’re going to have to do something extra so he does think you’re gonna give him head,” she says with her hands waving in the air.

You let out a nervous chuckle unsure of how you’d even be able to do that. The idea was to make it seem like you were going to but at the same time not going to. You weren’t that skilled in the acting department.

Levi probably would tickle you till you can’t breath if you did something to mess with him again. But this wasn’t harmful for his sweet heart at all, the most it would do is give him blue balls. He could definitely live with that, he gets enough action out of you. The man may be older but he definitely still had a crazy sex drive. So, that made it even a better reason to mess with his hormones.

When a smile spread across your face Angel knew you’d made up you mind. “Look at you getting involved with the trends, I feel like a proud Mom,” she squealed with pure happiness. Heat rises to your cheeks, the girl had once again convinced you to mess with your boyfriend.

“Stop, you’re making me feel old,” you griped but had a playful smile on your face. She shakes her head at you and giggles before pulling up more video to show you.

Levi came home earlier than usual, Angel was still sitting on your couch talking up a storm. He thought she was a good friend, but he didn’t appreciate what she had convinced you to do a week ago. “You’re home early,” you said with a smile. You liked when he got off work at this time, it gave you two longer to spend time with one another. “Erwin gave me the rest of the week off with pay as a Christmas present,” he chuckled a bit remembering how awkward Erwin was as he called it a Christmas present.

You let out a light squeal and wrap your arms around him, “That’s so sweet! Now I get you all to myself.” Levi watched as your brows wiggled with suggestion and he smirked. “Well, I guess i’ll leave my favorite love birds alone,” Angel said with a fake frown. You gave her a hug and she was off, leaving you with Levi.

“Let’s watch a movie,” you propose, “we haven’t sat down and watched one in so long.” He agrees with the idea and you hug him once again. This was part of your plan, to be all clingy. Sure you two were attached at the hip but constant touching from you usually meant something. Plus you were getting him to be still, which was hard.

The man always wanted to catch up with work, but tonight he had no reason to, It was all falling into place. As if the universe wanted you to fuck with him again.

After Levi changed out of his work clothes into something comfortable it was really starting to set into motion. You’d already picked out the movie, made popcorn, and grabbed a hair tie from the bathroom. Purposely, you set the bowl of popcorn on the table next to Levi’s usually side of the couch. All the lights were out besides the luminosity of the television. “You sure are eager to watch a movie,” he said with a quirked brow. You’d already taken your seat on the couch and Levi followed suit.

You giggled at his words and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He kissed you back, expect on the nose, and your heart warmed at the gesture. He was making it harder to follow through with your devious plan. Why did he have to be such a sweetie? Minute after minute went by and your hands stayed on Levi. Wether it was playing with his hair, or holding his hand, you were being a touchy fanatic.

Right after you gave him a peck on the neck you knew it was time of time to trick him. His shoulders perked up when your lips had met his neck, sending a shock to his stomach. You sat up some and took the band off of your wrist before messily putting your hair up. Levi was looking at you with hungry eyes, you’d definitely fooled him.

You turned towards him and rested your palm on his lap. His heart was starting to beat faster and his body was becoming hot. Right as he thought you were about to kiss him you kept leaning past his face, grabbing the bowl of popcorn next to him instead. You leaned back into the couch and set the dish in your lap. Shock grew within him as you started to eat away as if nothing happened. As if you hadn’t made him turn into a horny mess within the span of 15 seconds.

It was so hard to not laugh at the confused and dumbfounded expressions on his face. In a way, to him, this was on a different level of cruel. His dick was straining in his pants as you stuffed your mouth with popcorn. “What was that about?” he finally said, not caring much about the movie anymore. You raised your brows in confused and munched away, “What are you talking about baby?”

He put the back on his hand over his eyes and slid it down his face. The last thing he wanted to do was be an asshole because he thought he was getting head. He kept telling himself he misread the situation and was being too much of an aroused fuck. But when you started giggling up a storm he knew you’d done it on purpose.

“It was Angels idea wasn’t it?” You nodded as an answer, still consumed with giggles. He huffed at you before grabbing your hand and put on his crotch. The feeling of his bulge made you almost automatically stop with your childish sounds. “See how easily you got me worked up?” you didn’t say anything, only watched as his grey eyes darkened in desire.

The action made you gulp. He grabbed the bowl of popcorn and set it back on the table next to him. You yelped as his strong hands pulled you onto his lap. Levi wasn’t going to let you win this time, he’d be damned if Angel laughed later on as you explained it. He was going to punish you in a different way now, one that would leave you screaming.

“I bet you’re a little worked up too,” his finger traces your collar bone and you can’t help but shiver. He bucked his hips a bit, making his member hit the right spot on your heat. When you let out a slight whimper he knew you were wrapped around his finger this time. You felt your parts become ignited from his touch. He definitely wasn’t holding back.

“I’m gonna make you beg for me to stop,” he whispers in your ear with his deep voice. Strong arms wrap around your waist as he carries you to the bedroom. Your stomach is filled with excitement and your heard is starting to spin at the adrenaline rush.

Once he sets you down on the bed his lips start to attack your neck. Sucking and biting almost every inch, moans slip past your lips in ecstasy. His hands play with your chest only adding to the feeling, and you’re in a fit on pleasure.

Your vision is blurred as his hands snake under your shirt. Lips move away for a second to lift the clothing over your head. You should have known Levi would react like this, he wasn’t going to let you get your way again.

Fingers looped around the waistband of your fuzzy pajama bottoms, slipping them off your legs. He kisses the inside of your thighs with wet lips which causes your breathing to become more uneven. His hands pressed into your sides once his mouth began to hover over your clothed core. His hot breath so close to where you needed him most made your body feel like jelly.

“Beg for it,” he whispers with a smirk plastered across his beautiful features. That’s when you knew he had a long night planned for the two of you.

[ducktracy]

happy birthday, frank tashlin!

today would have been frank tashlin’s 107th birthday, making him the second youngest director on the WB staff (bob clampett getting the title of youngest, born less than 3 months after tashlin) frank tashlin’s one of my favorite WB directors, and it’s a criminal shame how underrated he is!

he began his cartoonist career in 1930 working for john foster’s aesop’s fables, then briefly migrating to van beuren studios, but he seldom stayed in one place too long. bob clampett once likened him to a yo-yo, and ink and paint girl martha sigall reminiscing “here today, gone tomorrow. now you see him, now you don’t.” he joined the schlesinger gang in 1933 as an animator, even receiving a credit for buddy’s beer garden as tish tash.

during his first (out of three) stint at warner bros, he was running a comic on the side — van boring (he never says a word), a play on his former boss van beuren. leon schlesinger was particularly enamored by the comic, and wanted “a cut of it.” tash responded warmly, recounting “i said go to hell. so he fired me.”

he moved to ub iwerks’ studio in 1934, briefly working as an animator, and later moving to hal roach’s studio as a gag man. he returned to warner bros in 1936, this time as a director. jack king had just returned to disney, and a spot needed to be filled. evidently there were no harsh feelings between schlesinger and tash, as tash claimed “he was a man who thought in money terms. he never let personalities interfere too long; his wallet spoke.”

his first directed cartoon was porky’s poultry plant in 1936, also noteworthy for being the debut of composer carl stalling as well, who would stay at the studio for 22 years. tashlin started off as just a looney tunes director—tex avery was splitting the difference between looney tunes and merrie melodies, whereas friz freleng was exclusively MM. however, tash also got to indulge in the merrie melodies (a privilege his predecessor jack king never got to experience), his first being speaking of the weather in 1937, a take on the classic “books come to life” genre made popular by the harman-ising era. tashlin himself even said he idolized the duo, and modestly dismissed his own takes as “cribbing their ideas.” during his first directorial stint from 1936-1938, tash would direct 13 looney tunes and 8 merrie melodies.

tashlin departed in 1938 after an argument with studio executive henry binder, and sought refuge at disney. there, he recounts forming a union because of how terrible the pay was (he said that he earned $150 a week at warner bros, and at disney he supposed he “was the first person [in the union] making more than thirty dollars a week.” he wrote mickey and the beanstalk and was also involved in very early development of lady and the tramp.

he left disney after an argument with mr. disney himself (“i always pick the wrong people to fight with”) and headed for columbia pictures’ screen gems in 1941. in fact, he was put in charge of the studio impromptu when a “man” fired everyone but him. he hired a number of picketers during the infamous animator’s strike. he made the fox and the crow series, one of the studio’s better entires. and, once more, he was fired after a dispute with an executive.

tashlin finally returned to warner bros in 1943, taking over norm mccabe’s unit. not to say that his 1936-1938 works were bad (he has quite a few masterpieces--porky’s romance, the case of the stuttering pig, wholly smoke, cracked ice… some of his merrie melodies certainly rival tex avery’s), but his period from 1943-1946 reflects his experience and knowledge acquired from his days drifting between studios.

his first picture from his return was porky pig’s feat, one of my favorite porky/daffy cartoons and probably one of the best black and white cartoons made at the studio, if not the best. the plot is simple: porky and daffy stay at a fancy shmancy hotel, and the bill is ridiculously expensive. porky assures the manager daffy’s cashing in the check, and we see daffy gambling away (and losing) all of their money. the rest of the cartoon consists of daffy and porky attempting to save their hides and escape the hotel, but they end up being held prisoner regardless. bugs bunny also makes a cameo as another jailbird who tried (and failed) the same shtick they did.

tashlin lamented about being demoted back to the porky cartoons again: “who wants to see the damned pig, and i’m stuck with the damned pig. it takes him so long to talk.” “i hated him, i thought he was a terrible character.” he mentions envying the other directors working with bugs (only directing 2 bugs cartoons himself), how the studio worked as a hierarchy of sorts. having to work your way up to the big leagues. though his porky cartoons are fantastic, his distaste is subtly noted. (he claims that “you couldn't do anything with his body”, which i couldn’t disagree with more) daffy takes the front seat in porky pig’s feat, brother brat is dedicated exclusively to porky getting abused by a testosterone fueled baby, and swooner crooner hardly features porky to begin with (an iconic cartoon that holds the title as the only porky cartoon nominated for an academy award.) nevertheless, his cartoons are stronger than ever, growing only more powerful with his daffy entries and eventually bugs entries.

a big contributor to the success of these cartoons lies in tashlin’s filmmaking aspirations. he’d leave warner bros in 1944 (his cartoons running all the way until 1946) to go to the film business. ever since porky’s poultry plant, his eye for camera angles and cinematography has been evident, and only grown stronger since. tashlin described how his mindset aligned with his drifter attitude. if he was working on cartoons, he was thinking of film. if he was working in film, he was thinking of plays, etc.

he began as a gag writer for films featuring big names such as the marx brothers and lucille ball. he directed films all through the 50s and 60s, echoing elements he mastered in his animation: elaborate camera angles, fast pace, sight gags, plot twists, etc.

i’ve run my mouth enough, but he was a great guy who’s criminally underrated. his cartoons are hilarious, artful, clever, and just plain fun. definitely an important name in the animation business that should be much more important! i’ll get more in depth with his content once i get to his cartoons for my reviews (soon!)

to end, left to right: frank tashlin, tex avery, henry binder, leon schlesinger, ray katz, and friz freleng in 1936.

happy birthday, tish tash!

[tamiddyinyourcity]

12:15am.

What the fuck.

Saturday, April 25th of 2020.

I feel.... not amazing.

It's harder to type when stressed, but I put on the pink string lights I set up today to add a bit of a scenery change.... hopefully this makes me feel better. A small tilt in how my room feels for me, but one step closer to the sanctuary that I need for myself right now......

What's stressing me out:

I found out about a Netflix franchise called "I Am Not Okay With This"... The comic book is a lot harder hitting. Maybe even triggering for me, due to mentions of PTSD, her awkwardness, her naive and cringey baby gay phase, low self esteem, the nerdy friends she enjoys the company around but have a crush on her.... certain things. Plus knowing that the comic itself ends with her killing herself in the most GRUESOME way possible, exploding her own fucking head.... Gosh, to think that I thought Dear Dumb Diary was hard hitting when I was growing up.... Fuck, man. If I smoked cigarettes, youd see me go through a whole fucking pack right this second.

Remembering the terrible incident with Mark; the guy who took me to a great nearly 5 star restaurant, buttered me up with chocolate souffles, orange zest crumb cakes, and lobster, steak, all of that... (in insanely small portions; god, rich people LOVE to have lobster claw soup smaller than 1/3 the size of a fucking shotglass,) and then despite a night that would have been otherwise successful, still took a small piece of dignity that I can't get back that night. The night was almost perfect, until he fucking ruined it doing what he did... I won't beat myself up over it at all, not anymore. I needed the money for travel, artwork, food, and things I couldn't get at home or from the average job. (Not one I was going to be sane enough to keep, both due to my disability AND a dysfunctional household where food and rest were seen as very low tier things for me to be able to have at all....)

I talked to Cam again today. He's good for occasional idle conversation. I appreciate that he didn't give me the cold shoulder after the *several* messy online posts I'd made online, after the *many* messy breakups we had.... I still feel bad about not having the guts to reach out to Jasper or Marcus. Not like I knew them too well, they were just good people; Marcus was ridiculously fun to hang with, that night he and I collabed and drew a stripper with ginormous titties, nipple piercings, and a "tramp stamp, but on the front, since shes got a spinal disease and is stripping to pay for it", on the wine bag my ex had brought to the Halloween party. We kept slapping it, all night long.

And, not much to say for Jasper, which makes me kinda sad. Not much to say? I liked their hair color, a light golden brown in some photos, and a really fun sense of humor. I actually am starting to cry as I write this, since yknow, that was the first really good night in ages where I felt like.... really welcomed by those I loved, and cared about, yknow? Or like, i dunno, that it wasnt me obsessing or fixating on just one person, that it was.... the reverse. Multiple people, accepting me for who I was, even with "google 'donkey punch'" as my instagram bio, or telling stories about that time I had almost got a decapitated penis in the mail before.

Anyway, I don't know.... It felt like shit, losing the positive connections like that. Me and Audrey still talk, but once a blue moon, since we were never close before I had met Patrick. (We talked about lucid dreaming and her artwork, and now we seem to talk even less now that the awkward 'u kinda tormented my roommate lol' vibe is ever present....)

But, Cam and I still talk, which feels good. He had a "my guess is ill never be able to know what fully happened, since he frames you as the one who did wrong, and you probably frame him also, so.... i figure its none of my business" mindset, which I respect. (But also am wary of, since several perpetrators I know had friends who could hear the worst of my side and still try to pull a 'Quaker' and 'not choose either', but in the end, still defended their homie... Yikes, being able to see how people will really lie to women's faces about if their friend was cheating or not, but eh, thats a whole different unrelated story to unpack some other different day...)

Cam messaged me about lucid dreaming, and honestly I would've told him more in-depth the ones I've been having recently, (i told him about the one he guest starred in,) but honestly.... I don't know. Hard to really feel comfortable talking about the Patrick situation. Its easy to vent on a tumblr page that I believed no one else read in an attempt to blow off some steam, but like.... Very different, describing to someone that you're dreaming about your ex months later, in very vivid and symbolic dreamlike situations, about overworking your mind by thinking of "what ifs" instead of dealing with the fate dealt out to you..... I don't even know if he knows HOW the most recent breakup went down. And I am a girl who is rarely able to lie, but is good at blocking out memories, or great at keeping silent and giving half answers. I don't know how well the "I'm having dreams about wanting to be with my ex despite hating him, since I feel guilt over pulling a domestic on his front porch", and... I don't think I'm super ready to talk about that yet.

So I feel like I was a bit vague describing certain parts of my dreams, relating to chasing people in an unhealthy way..... without the context of what happened with Patrick, or even bothering to describe the events with Rowan, really. I dislike not sharing the full truth of my experiences with others, it still feels like lying anyway to me........

But it's not being dishonest, if they never asked me, right? It's not lying, if theres no context for anything to be seen as a truth or an instance in the first place.

I've got to eventually let myself move on. I guess the main reason I feel so much guilt, is since it was like that Zack #2 situation. Lighting doesn't usually strike twice. The first time I ever lost my shit to that heavy extent with a man? Could be written off as "seventeen year old autistic minor upset that her nineteen year old college fwb sees her as unworthy of a date, basic communication, or respect at bare minimum and struggles with heartbreak after years of similarly traumatizing situations". As a "bad phase", or "you had been so young, dont worry about it, youve changed over the years and i would have never guessed youd done something like that, he probably deserved it, what a pizzafaced asshole"....

The 2nd time, its much harder to prove the "I'm not crazy, I just have bad taste in men and respond very poorly to situations that could be avoided". (Or wait, maybe its even easier? All he had to do was not stall a hangout for so long, or just agree to simple terms, or ban someone hostile that wasnt me from his birthday party, but nooooo.)

A lot of my friends still hate him. And definitely gave me the cold shoulder when we started hooking up after the shit he had put me through.... I don't blame them. He was so lame, rude, flat out shitty. And for fucks sake, he was congested all the time.... I found it cute, but its still pretty fucking gross to know hes never found out how to clean his goddamned nose. 21 years on this planet and you're congested for no reason???? Even with advice????? Eat your own shit, asshole. (Sorry, the swearing is kicking in again.... hes a very upsetting individual to think about.)

And the knowledge that for someone who's very anti-abuse, to do that.... was not amazing. But I can't change it, nor do I intend to lie about it. I guess it'll just be an example of what not to do in relationships, you know? (Or well, we broke up during both instances......)

Ugh.

Also, in IANOWT, there's a character named Stan.... reminds me too much of my nerdy ex-compadre. Probably the line, "My favorite part was when he went down on me. He was good at it. Stan must've done his homework"....

A super annoying thing, knowing that a pretty blue eyed geeksquad looking motherfucker with good tongue skills has to be on my mind.

And the other alternative is the UK version of a pretty blue eyed geeksquad looking motherfucker. But less geeky, more perverted, and still depressing but not nearly as much.

Also, my prison pen pal replied to me.....

So not only did the guy I originally replied to not respond, but two 30 year old black men that were arrested for multiple crimes now know my name and address. I'm guessing they stole his letter. Poor Christian Texas John.

Unless he willingly handed over my letter and photo to two perverts because he didn't want the platonic friendship.... then, Christian Texas John, go eat some prison ass.

(I feel bad even writing that, since that does sometimes happen... Hopefully, John isn't a stupid asshole enough to do that. But who knows? He did attempt to brutalize a person with a lethal weapon, and I never got the full context for that, but, eh....)

So yeah, clearly that's...... not great. All I can do is tuck away the letters and chuckle, even if I was extremely pissed off and upset yesterday night. One of them somehow has a twitter still active, and the other tried to pretend I messaged him instead of John, and went "Haha yeah great to find someone with things in common as me!", then proceeded to ask me to reply with a "sexy fantacy" i wanted to happen.

Do men ever not wanna get on my nerves? Please? For fucks sake, i swear the main reason I date guys is because theyre supposed to be more predictable, but they either surprise me with their bullshit, or end up living to my worst thoughts about any outcome of seeing them. (Like how I expected only sex from Matty, he made me feel loved, then gave me what i can describe as comparing the feeling of being tripped off a building and feeling my legs, hips, spine, skull, and ribs shatter in pure agony as i bleed from inside out... and he's just up on the roof, smiling down at me, and walking away to go meet someone else he decided was worth the effort.)

Even if the wound has healed, the scar still exists too large to ever be forgotten like that.

.

I also feel bad for throwing the things with Rowan back into his face.

Even if he also ended up being a nightmare of a guy, he still was a dream for the time being.

Hopefully he forgives me, and my words don't linger so strongly in his mind. Sometimes words people say won't kick in until years down the line, and really hurt when they do....

He's alright. I don't need to check in on him. He has loads of other girl friends to womanize and perv on, girls closer to his area to flirt or sext with, and other people to play with the feelings of, then pretend he didnt see it coming, despite doing everything exactly as he would've in serious pursuit of anyone else.....

He's a prick with a patchy beard. He won't kill himself. He would just go off his meds and start tweeting about hating his life, or something.

Miss him or not, i still dont need that shit, you know?

1:35am.

Peace out yalls.

[hashtagsmitty]

Smitty's Thailand Adventure - Day 7

Goddamn happened again - I spent two hours on this post and my phone deleted it.

In which snakes get tortured, an expatriot hero is honored, a suit is fitted, and axes don't get thrown.

I slept weird again last night - I'm not used to box spring mattresses. I have a Koala foam mattress and April has a futon, so springs poking me in the ass all night is a new experience for me. Plus the air con, it's hot then it's cold, etcetera.

Usual morning routine - the Hitler Youth and White Family Mart for breakfast. I planned my day while I ate - I wanted to visit the snake farm. Technically, the late queen's memorial snake farm. I thought that sounded awesome.

Skytrain to Siam, swapped to the other line. Not much new to say about the skytrain except there's this jingle that one of the ads plays that I will never get out of my head. Also, there's barriers around some but not all of the platforms, and the train stops perfectly such that the doors are between the openings in the barriers. It's pretty special.

Crazy Thai traffic aside, I made it to the snake farm. It looked like something out of the Walking Dead:

It was mostly the rust on the spikes. And the overgrowth. And the barriers in front of the entrance. And the red cross trucks unloading pallets of gear. I did not think I was supposed to be in there, but the sign said this way to snake farm, so in I went.

I found the place fine. Once I got past the zombie movie shit anyway. The farm looked awesome!

It was a big pagoda with open air snake enclosures all over the place. Very tropical, very novel. There was a big old rat in one of the enclosures. I watched him for ages to see if a snake was going to get him, but he was as still as a statue, with only his tiny rat ears twitching.

After the pagoda was an indoor museum - much the same, but with single cages for each snake. With glass. It wasn't quite what I expected from a Thai snake farm - far more like a zoo than a snake farm. Not enough zero-fucks-given Thai dudes with snakes wrapped around them. I looked at the snakes for a while. This guy was my favourite:

He's a Malayan Mangroce Cat-Eye Snake. I think he's gorgeous. I also thing I have a thing for snakes. They're like nature's ropes.

There was maintenance work going on inside - some drilling or digging or something. Lots of noise. I found it unpleasant, and I'm not a creature whose entire experience of the world is through vibrations. I didn't stay long inside, and left straight after.

I'm not 100% certain that I would never get a snake as a pet. I was before the snake farm, but now I'm not sure.

On the way back to Siam, I saw the Jim Thompson store! I had to go inside and pay my respects to a true expatriot hero.

Thompson's business was selling Thai silk, so the entire store was silk scarves and shirts and other stuff. Expensive silk stuff - one shirt was $200. The cheapest thing I saw was a scrunchie for $40. I looked around for a while then left, richer for having experienced the life of a great man. Also richer for not having bought any of that tourist bait.

I went back to Siam and went book shopping. I had almost finished Growth Mindset and needed something else for the plane. I found this awesome bookshop:

It took up the whole floor, it was so big. It had the largest non-fiction section I'd ever seen. I spent an hour walking around looking at stuff. It was great. I love bookshops.

I bought Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius, a stoic philosophy book I've been meaning to read for ages. I also got The King in Yellow, by Robert W. Chambers. Lovecraft listed it as one of his influences, and I love spooky.

The coolest bit was that the clerk wrapped the two books in plastic to keep them safe. I thought that was a really cool idea, and I was impressed by how quickly she wrapped them - like 5 seconds each. I only noticed later that the plastic had the store's logo on it - even better, now I won't forget its name.

I went home via Thai KFC. I wanted to try it before I left. I knew it was a mistake going in. I always know that KFC is a mistake going in, but this was bad. Weak McDonald's style chips, boring chicken "pops". A waste of time, what with bonchon around the corner. I regret it immensely.

I went home and chilled out for a while - it's been a big week. I've walked a good 75km, according to my phone. I finished Growth Mindset and wrote some notes, listened to music, charged my phone, lazy stuff. Josh texted me and I met him at my station. We went back past Siam to a station near the tailor.

We got bonchon chicken for a late lunch/early dinner. It was great - best I've had in Thailand, and way better than the culinary abortion I had for lunch before. I distracted Josh with a game I've been playing :

It's a programming game, which is 100% Josh's thing. He hated it, but couldn't keep his hands off it. It's based on Assembly, a really old programming language. The first one, pretty much. It frustrated him because it wasn't like normal programming, but I thought it was a good challenge in thinking iteratively.

We walked to the tailor from bonchon. I cursed that I was going to be fat for the fitting. Josh could barely move - we got 18 pieces of chicken and he had 12 of them. I was still full from my mistake earlier.

On the way, I told Josh how frustrated I was with Bangkok's footpaths. There are lips and cracks and broken bits of concrete everywhere. Manhole covers that could drop you into a sewer if you're not careful. Just look at this:

That's a tame one. I've lost count of how many of these things I've tripped over. Or on trick edges to the footpath - step down onto the road, expect it to be level, nope there's another step down, don't you look smart. Or, walking down the steps from the skytrain, again, expect it to be level. Nope! It's on a raised platform, enjoy your trip, see you next fall.

Josh told me to not stand on the manholes.

We walked past some massage girls. I finally saw first hand what Josh has been talking about all week - they pretty much screamed at him. "hey handsome man," they'd say, and he'd say "no thank you," and they'd say "come over here sexy," and he'd say "no thanks". It looked uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I don't know if I Iook less approachable, less wealthy, less naive or less desperate, but none of them have reacted to me like that. Maybe it's because he's 6'3".

We got to the tailor. The suit was almost ready :

Looks awesome - the vest turned out exactly how I wanted it to. The tailor is going to courier it to the hotel tomorrow after some last minute changes. I hope.

We walked back to the skytrain, but the foot traffic was terrible. Peak hour in Bangkok is insane compared to Melbourne. We couldn't even get onto the platform last time we tried. So, we sat down at Starbucks and shot the shit for a while. I showed him my notes on Growth Mindset, and we argued about that a while. He talked about how he was going to do some of Bill's contract, then renegotiate. Seemed reasonable.

We headed home around 8 - our earliest night this week, but it's been a big one for both of us. Josh is moving to a new condo tomorrow. The train ride back was bittersweet - it's been a fun holiday. We both said while walking around that there's very few people either of us could hang out with for a full week without going crazy. He's probably coming back to Melbourne next month though, so it's not too bad.

I'm going to miss him when I head back. But I'm not going to miss much else. Bangkok is -

I guess I'll save my thoughts on the city for when I'm safely no longer in it.

I found this set of signs on the street today and it made me laugh: