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the-starry-seas · 5 months

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decided to assign Florence + The Machine songs to my clones

Aces

Racer: June (In those heavy days in June when love became an act of defiance / You were broken-hearted and the world was too, and I was beginning to lose my grip / Choirs sing in the street and I would come to you / I'm always down to hide with you)

Fury: Seven Devils (Holy water cannot help you now, a thousand armies couldn't keep me out / And it's an evensong, it's a litany, it's a battle cry, it's a symphony)

Blue: Shake It Out (Regrets collect like old friends, here to relive your darkest moments / I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart)

Whisper: Morning Elvis (If I make it to the mornin' I should've come with a warnin' / And after every tour, I swear I'll quit It's over, boys, now this is it, but the call it always comes / Oh, you know I'm still afraid, I'm still crazy and I'm still scared)

Ember: Free (Is this how it's always been? To exist in the face of suffering and death, and somehow still keep singing? / There is nothing else that I know how to do, but to open up my arms and give it all to you / And for a moment, when I'm dancing, I am free)

Ghost Squad

Harlow: St Jude (Another battle never won, and each side is a loser, so who cares who fired the gun? / I'm learning, so I'm leaving, and even though I'm grieving, I'm trying to find the meaning)

Karla: Cassandra (I used to move into the future, bring it all back, let it bleed through my fingers, a treasure in my hands / Well, can you see me? I cannot see you. Everything I thought I knew has fallen out of view.)

Cavalry: Are You Hurting the One You Love? (Bite your tongue until it tastes like blood / Are you hurting the one you love? You'd like to stay in heaven but the rules are too tough)

Boom: Leave My Body (I'm gonna be released from behind these lines and I don''t care whether I live or die / I'm gonna leave my body [moving up to higher ground], I'm gonna lose my mind [your history keeps pulling me down])

Ray: Hardest of Hearts (And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts / There is love in your body but you can't get it out, it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth)

Tally: Breaking Down (Even when I was a child, I've always known there was something to be frightened of / I think I'm breaking down, all alone, on the edge of sleep)

Nox: Spectrum (We are shining and we will never be afraid again / WIth metal on our tongues and silver in our lungs / Say my name as every colour illuminates)

Shay: No Light, No Light (I was disappearing in plain sight, Heaven help me, I need to make it right / You want a revelation, some kind of resolution / And I'd do anything to make you stay)

Clone Force M

Winter: I'm Not Calling You a Liar (I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me, and I love you so much I'm going to let you kill me)

Bee: Delilah (These chains never leave me, I keep dragging them around / 'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine, but maybe not tonight / A different kind of danger in the daylight, can't you let me know?)

Indigo: You've Got the Love (Sometimes, it seems the goin' is just too rough and things go wrong, no matter what I do / Sooner or later in life, the things you love, you lose, but you've got the love I need to see me through)

Jewel: Remain Nameless (I wish to remain nameless and live without shame, 'cause what's in a name, boy? I still remain the same / Tell me what you're running from, I know everybody lets you down and I'll do the same)

Nebula: All This and Heaven Too (And all my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling, all this heaven never could describe such a feeling as I'm hearing)

Zenith: Falling (Falling is not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace. It's only when I hit the ground, it causes all the grief)

Sunny: Third Eye (You don't have to be a ghost here amongst the living, you are flesh and blood and you deserve to be loved / I'm the same, I'm the same, I'm trying to change)

Star: Howl (If you could only see the beast you've made of me, I held it in, but now it seems you've set it running free / Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins, I want to find you, tear out all your tenderness and howl, howl) [+ bonus: Long & Lost (Without your love I'll be so long and lost, are you missing me? is it too late to come on home? / It's been so long between the words we spoke, will you be there up on the shore? I hope)]

Sky: Sky Full of Song (Be careful, oh, my darling, oh be careful what it takes. From what I've seen so far, the good ones always seem to break / I feel like I'm about to fall, the room begins to sway, and I can hear the sirens but I cannot walk away)

Silver: Stand By Me (I won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid, just as long as you stand, stand by me / Whenever you're in trouble, won't you stand by me? Oh stand by me)

#potentially unreasonable #but having this many clone OCs is good for me <3 #aces squad #ghost squad #clone force m

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blondrichclosetwitch · 10 months

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“There she is; come close to her.”

Stay away, don’t you invade my home.

Strike another match girl, start anew.

And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.

Tryin' to play with the 'caine. Same old story again.

Oh it's a shame to lose your way as a child.

But your jealousy, oh, I can hear it now.

You know you can't hold me forever.

What do you think you'll do then?

It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics to set you on your feet again.

Truth hits everyone.

All I need to know I knew so early.

It's so lame that you could take my feelings and make yourself feel like you're better than anyone else who hasn't heard.

What's the point in pouring it all out when you guys just wear it on your coat?

Take a risk just for yourself and wade into the deep end of the ocean.

All these things will catch up to you.

Annie is the key.

“I always feel like somebody's watching me, and I have no privacy.”

I'm coming up only to show you're wrong.

At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral.

It's such a shame our friendship had to end.

“Everything is my fault.”

I won’t be me when you see me again. You you don’t see me, but you will. I am not invisible.

I am here.

'Cause I left that night, yeah.

But she’s the one.

Get my pretty name outta your mouth.

Don't talk 'bout me like how you might know how I feel.

I'm not your friend or anything, damn.

Now, back up off my family, move your hands.

Jezebel don't even stand a chance.

Cameras flash so much that I gotta do that Yayo dance.

When you meet me in person what do you feel like?

These haters be killing themselves.

Well, my trust in you is a dog with a broken leg.

“I wasn't letting up until the day she died.”

“Every time I say this I just know this time I mean it…but a feeling deep inside says it's okay one more time.”

I can see it in your walk.

See it in everything you do.

Even in your thoughts.

Look out, Helter-skelter.

And no one wants to speak about it.

They’ll print my message in the Saturday Sun.

Oh you’ve got green eyes.

Oh you’ve got grey eyes.

Oh, you’ve got blue eyes.

Wonder if he’ll ever know he’s in the best selling show.

“We’re gonna roll all the way to la Louisiana.”

You might say that I’m young. But there’s one thing that I know, though I’m younger than you, that even Jesus would never forgive what you do.

Let me ask you a question.

Is your money that good?

Will it buy you forgiveness?

“Can I have some money?…………………………………………………………….. I can’t tell you what it’s for.”

I’m not a little girl.

You don’t have to be a ghost amongst the living. You are flesh and blood.

All you sweet girls with all your sweet talk?

You can all go take a fucking walk.

“When that begins to flow, I really don’t care anymore. Thank your God that I’m not aware. And thank God that I just don’t care.”

Three of swords: the seventh shall be named. And, somebody’s watching you. everybody and they mama got your sex tape.

Sara.

I cursed the gloom that set upon us.

More dead than alive.

“I’m under your spell just like a man in a trance.”

Keep ‘em safe from all the harm.

Never give away what you always wanted.

You’ve got nothin but time.

Your world is just beginning.

Me and you, no truer two.

You spend half your life just to cover it up.

She wants to delete it. I won’t let her.

#today is a 17/08 #:17 stuff that she says #and the planes came crashing down #165h 11min

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notmodernbrutalism · 1 year

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[M 4C] Florence

How big, how blue, how beautiful

Ship to Wreck

And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I did?

Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch?

What Kind of Men

To let me dangle at a cruel angle

Oh, my feet don't touch the floor

Sometimes you're half in and then you're half out

But you never close the door

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful

So much time on the other side

Waiting for you to wake up

Maybe I'll see you in another life

If this one wasn't enough

Queen of Peace

Now you have me on the run

The damage is already done

Come on, is this what you want?

'Cause you're driving me away

Delilah

Too fast for freedom

Sometimes it all falls down

These chains never leave me

I keep dragging them 'round

Long and Lost

I need the clouds to cover me

Pulling them down, surround me

Without your love I'll be

So long and lost, are you missing me?

Third Eye

Hey, look up!

You don't have to be a ghost here amongst the living

You are flesh and blood

And you deserve to be loved, and you deserve what you are given

And oh, how much?

St. Jude

Another conversation with no destination

Another battle never won

Each side is a loser

So who cares who fired the gun

Mother

All these couples are kissing

And I can't stand the heat

I lost my shoes and left the party

I wandered in the street

Make up your Mind

Make up your mind

Let me live or let me love you

While you've been saving your neck

I've been breaking mine for you

Hazme tuyo, como si fuera tu objeto.

Un objeto gastado, frío y polvoriento.

Puleme con tu cariño, con tu amor.

El metal es frio pero constante.

📍Puntuación: 5/5 🥰

#spotify #top #musica #florence and the machine #florence welch #feelings #emotions #what kind of men

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metalbuckaroo · 3 years

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Birthday to Remember

SUMMARY// After being pulled along to a strip club by your friends on your birthday, you end up leaving with some company.

WARNINGS// smut, oral (f receiving), kinda corruption kink, pussyjob, cursing, mentions of tobacco and alcohol use

AU// Stripper!Bucky x Innocent!Readee

AN// Requests and asks are always open, 18+ ONLY Minors DNI

Masterlist

Moodboard by// @commonintrest Dividers by// @skylightlantern

The last thing you wanted on your birthday was for your friends to drag you to a strip club. You felt awkward and out of place walking amongst the room full of half naked men and drinking customers.

"This just feels weird." You sighed, following your three friends towards the bar that was in the corner. "We'll get one of those private rooms they have here for parties and a beefy man. It will be a birthday to remember, c'mon." One of them grinned.

You pitched in on the drinks and a private room, one of the men walking in right after you. Dark, chin length hair and a sweet smile that nearly distracted from the tight leather shorts that left little to the imagination.

You spent most of the time staring down into your glass, having to silently remind yourself you were suppose be having fun as your friends cheered and giggled as they stuffed bills into the waistband of the man's shorts; whose named you learned was Bucky.

You weren't really paying attention to what he was doing. More to the way the silvery metal of his arm gleamed under the dimmed lights and where metal met flesh at the base of his shoulder.

Wondering how he got it or if he could feel when someone touched it, rather than thinking of the smooth way his body moved.

One of your friends said something to him that you couldn't quite make out. Bucky nodding and looking over at you with a half smile.

"Want the birthday special?" He asked, moving to stand in front of you. Your face warmed at his words and you swallowed thickly, shaking your head. "No, it's fine."

"Oh, come on. Don't be a prude." One of the three girls groaned, poking one of your crossed legs.

Wetting your lips, you glanced up at Bucky who looked at you with welcoming eyes. "Yeah, okay." You nodded.

Your stomach flipped when he took the drink from your hands, handing it to your friend before the cool metal of his left hand nudged at your knee for you to uncross your legs.

Bucky placed his hands on the back of the couch, your shoulders trapped between metal and flesh as he leaned down to talk in your ear. "If you're uncomfortable with anything, just pinch me."

You gave another nod and he smiled, flashing his pearly whites as he leaned his knees against the edge of the plush cushion on either side of yours.

Your heart beat wildly in your chest when he tugged at the laces of the shorts to loosen them before taking your hands in his.

Bucky was eating up every reaction you gave. The way you chewed your bottom lip as he guided your hands along the taut muscles of his chest and abdomen, your fingers feeling every dip in the smooth skin and grazing over the barbells that pierced through his nipples.

He especially liked the way you weren't trying to rush his hands to go under his shorts; letting him be in full control.

Your eyes went wide when he stopped your hands at the waistband of the leather, the sound of your heart beating and blood rushing in your ears almost drowning out the sound of your friends giggling and squealing.

And the sound of the door opening.

"Buck, you've got a set." Another man said from the doorway. "I'm in the middle of a session." Bucky huffed, looking over his shoulder but not moving your hands. "Cap is gonna fill in."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Bucky finally let go of your hands, but his close proximity wasn't letting your body relax just yet as he leaned to peck a kiss to your cheek. "Happy birthday." He chuckled before standing.

A broad blonde took his place, this one letting you sit in peace and stare into you half empty glass.

"I'm gonna head home." You exhaled, glancing at the happy looks on your friend's faces. "Fine, buzz kill." One of them muttered.

Pushing through the crowded club, you pushed the heavy metal door open. Bucky was leaned against the concrete wall of the building not far from the door, now in a pair of sweats and a hoodie as he smoked a cigarette.

"The birthday girl." He grinned, blue eyes meeting yours as you stepped closer. "Want one?" He asked, holding the cigarette out towards you. "Uh, no. Thanks."

"Listen-" he cleared his throat, pushing away from the wall to stand in front of you. "I can find someone to cover for me if you need some company on your walk home." He offered before bringing the cigarette to his lips.

"I'll be fine, I'm not too far." You shrugged, looking to the sidewalk. "You can't walk alone, it's one in the morning." Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. "That's different than walking with a stranger?"

His tongue jutted out across his bottom lip, eyebrows twitching upwards. "Well- I was about five seconds away from putting your hand in my shorts around thirty minutes ago. I think I'm a little better than a stranger." He teased, leaning forward slightly. "Besides, your friends kinda seem like assholes."

He wasn't wrong. They were sometimes pushy, telling you to loosen up a little and dragging you along with them to places where you felt out of place.

"Ok, fine." You exhaled. Bucky cracked a smile and dropped his cigarette, stomping it out under his shoe. "Let me get my stuff, just wait here for a second." He said, brushing his fingers to your forearm.

"Thanks, for walking with me." You said as you unlocked your front door. "This isn't the worst side of town but it's not the best either." Bucky said with a small laugh.

"I forgot to tip you, by the w-" his warm hand stopped yours from digging in your wallet, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. Just- invite me in for a drink." He shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes at him, cocking your head to the side. "You're not a creep, are you?"

Bucky laughed, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. "No, just don't want a pretty girl to spend her birthday alone. Plus, I had someone take over my shift."

"Well, my apartment is dry. So, you're out of luck on that drink." You smiled, opening the door to walk into the small studio apartment. "That's fair."

Bucky was good company as the two of you sat on the couch in your living room, telling you funny stories about his time working at the club and listening intently to anything you said. The lighting in your apartment made his eyes even more blue than you'd noticed earlier and his features look sharper, framed by his dark locks.

Over the last couple of hours he had slowly moved his way closer to you. Close enough that you could smell his woodsy cologne mixed in with the scent of cigarettes, his metal arm resting on the back of the couch as his right hand would occasionally brush against you when he'd talk.

"You're cute, like a bunny." He said with a small laugh, making your face heat up. "Thanks, I guess?" You mumbled, chewing your tongue as he lifted his hand to your cheek.

He hummed in response, leaning closer until his lips brushed yours and your breathing hitched.

You pressed a hand against his chest and leaned away slightly. "I've never..." You trailed off, hoping he'd get the point. "I figured that much. Can go as far as you want, or we don't have to at all."

"How many girls have you said that to?" You silently cursed yourself for saying it as soon as you did, biting down on the inside of your cheek. He just chuckled and brushed his thumb over the tip of your nose. "I'm more of a long term guy. Pretty sure I can count who I've slept with on one hand."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." You said quietly, pulling at a string on the seam of your jeans. "I know." Bucky said before slotting his lips over yours, the kiss gentle and sweet.

The taste of cigarettes and mint gum flooded your tastebuds when his tongue slipped past your lips to press into yours, the softness of his plump lips contrasting the scratch of his stubble.

Bucky just felt so welcoming, his touches cautious to wait for you to stop him as his hand moved from your cheek. Fingers ghosting down the side of your neck to leave goosebumps in their wake, along the buttons of your blouse and finally stopping to wedge between your thighs.

He pulled away, leaving your breathless as you blinked your eyes open to meet his lust filled blue ones. "Remember to pinch me if anything makes you uncomfortable." He teased, pecking a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

Things were moving fast, clothes quickly discarded on the path from the couch to your bed. Bucky's hands and lips only parting from you long enough to rid another clothing item that shielded his skin from yours until all that stood in his way was your underwear and his leather shorts.

You weren't sure if it was the head rush from only knowing Bucky for a few hours after holding out for so long, or the way his darkened eyes looked you over as he bent his body over yours.

"You're so beautiful." He breathed, leaving a brisk kiss to your lips before trailing wet kisses down your neck and chest.

Your hands gripped onto the sheets harder the further down your abdomen he got, trying to keep your breathing even as fingers hooked in the waistband of your underwear.

Bucky looked up at you one last time before dragging the fabric down your legs, tossing them to the side and taking his spot back between your legs.

You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch as he peppered kisses to the inside of your thighs, cold metal and warm flesh gently massaging the outsides of them as his stubble scraped at your skin.

A squeak erupted from your throat when he sunk his teeth into the supple flesh, making you move your leg away from his face to pull the skin from between his teeth.

Bucky chuckled and placed a soothing kiss on the mark. One to remind you that none of this had been a dream.

An excited chill ran down your spine when his hot breath fanned your dripping folds. Bucky giving one last glance before flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud, a soft chuckle bubbling in his chest when your body jolted and you drew in a sharp breath.

"So responsive, I could get use to that." He winked, licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit.

Bucky basked in every breathy sound and reaction he elicited from you, moaning at the taste he wanted to burn into his memory. In hopes he had another chance at this, the slice of heaven he held in his hands.

The chance to have his own angel to bend and mold into his filthiest dream.

He moved his hand to ease his middle finger into your heat, groaning at the immediate flutter of your walls as your hands fisted the sheet and chest heaved with a soft moan.

"Oh, c'mon. You can be louder than that, bunny." Bucky purred, curling the long, thick finger to find the sweet spot to set off the reaction he wanted. A louder moan pulling from your chest when he found the rough patch just inside your cunt making him smirk. "There it is."

He locked his lips around your clit again, fingers curling into the spot that pulled the vulgar sounds from your sweet lips as he sucked and flicked his tongue over the bundle of nerves. An unfamiliar feeling quickly building in your lower belly.

"Bucky-" You keened as white hot pleasure surged through you, your trembling thighs closing on his head as his metal hand moved from your hip to grope at your chest.

His fingers pinched and grazed the pebbled bud before massaging the flesh under his palm as your back arched, your breath catching in your throat and ears ringing.

Bucky lifted his head from between your legs, finger continuing to stroke your walls to work you through your orgasm as he pulled the laces of his shorts loose.

Your skin felt like it was on fire, every nerve alive as you opened your eyes again to Bucky standing at the end of the bed and shoving the shorts down his thick thighs. Erection springing free to give a glance of the two barbells on the underside of his cock. One under the ridge of his swollen head, the other at the base.

Your heart pounded in your ears when he moved back between your legs, stomach flipping from the nerves as his leaking tip ran through your folds and prodded your entrance. "Wait-"

Your hand pressed to the firm muscles of Bucky's stomach made his movements still and eyes flick up to meet your nervous expression. "We can stop if you want. Or we can try something else." He suggested, leaning on his palms to catch your lips in his briefly.

You nodded and let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, something else." You breathed.

A whimper passed your lips when he rocked his hips forward, the barbell sliding over your clit sending shocks of pleasure through you.

Bucky's bottom lip disappeared behind his teeth as let out quiet groans from the feeling of your slick coating his shaft.

"Talk to me, bunny. This okay?" He panted, gaze raking over your naked form that still had the sheet clutched tightly as melodic sounds spilled from your lips.

"Feels good," You panted, words slightly slurred from the dizzy feeling in your head caused by the pressure quickly building again. "So good." He moaned, holding his base to have better guidance through your folds.

You bit your lip into your mouth as tears prickled your eyes from the second wave of warmth that spread, choking out a moan as his pace quickened.

"Fucking shit-" Bucky huffed, his grip on your thigh tightening and release spilling onto your lower abdomen.

You inhaled a few deep breaths, trying to steady your heart beat as he pecked a kiss to your knee before standing from the bed to grab a piece of clothing for clean up.

You pulled the blanket from under you to hold to your chest, waiting for him to get dressed and make an excuse to leave like you'd heard your friends talk about after a hook up.

Instead, he wandered towards the kitchen, finding an empty can as he lit a cigarette, your eyes staying fixed on the way the muscles in his back rippled with his movements.

"C'mere." Bucky said with a soft groan as he got under the blankets with you, sitting the can on the nightstand. "You're staying?" You asked, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

"If you want me to, yeah." He shrugged, holding his arm out for you to lay on as he placed the cigarette between his teeth and grabbed a pillow to cushion the metal.

You gave a soft yeah and cuddled into his side, the soft whirring of his arm under the pillow helping you slowly drift to sleep.

You felt yourself waking up as the bed dipped under the weight of Bucky moving, deciding not to fully wake up and let him leave in silence.

"Hey," Bucky whispered, moving his body over yours to press a gentle kiss to your shoulder. "Hmm?" You hummed in response, peaking an eye open to look at the slate blue eyes that held adoration in them.

His knuckles brushed down your arm, a sweet kiss placed on your lips as he gave you a soft smile. "I gotta go, but I left my personal number under your alarm clock. Give me a call sometime."

You nodded and smiled lightly at him, another kiss pecked to your lips before he left the bed to gather his things, walking towards the door.

"I'm gonna hold ya to that, bunny."

TAGLIST: @likeahorribledream @cxddlyash @iwannabekilledtwice @bookstan0618 @glxwingrxse @yliumy @pineprincess @makbarnes @cupcakehinch @doasyoudesireandlive @magicwithinnightmares @andy-is-gay @stucky-my-ship @marvel-3407 @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @i-l-y-3000 @avoxzy @impala1967666 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @supernaturalbaesduh @bucky-hues @suchababie @eireduchess

#bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes smut #stripper!bucky smut #stripper!bucky #bucky #james buchanan barnes #bucky barns x you

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thelure · 3 years

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ERNIE MACMILLAN: AN APP

so this is an app for one, ernie macmillan, on a time clash site (i promise i don't only rp hp but i've been in a nostalgic mood). anyway, i am posting it here because i'm proud i finished it (lol) and because i've had so much anxiety about my writing, if anyone ends up reading this for fun please tell me what you think <3

who are you anyway? a macmillan, so they say. but you aren’t one, not really.you bare another name, secretly hold it close to your chest. they might find it burnt into your bones but they would have to skin you for it first, you’ll be damned.so who are you? a macmillan, or so your mother says. it is up for you to choose but do you have a choice? not really.for who would willingly choose a father that refused to let your mother hyphen your surname? nothing but a shame on your paternal family’s house, on their pure blooded legacy, all because you were born a bastard before marriage. but weren’t they betrothed anyway?weren’t they getting married? mother reasons that it’s not so bad, that she had tried to love your father but couldn’t.mother reasons that it’s not so bad because for all her trying at least she got you.you’ve never been able to ask that big question: why. why couldn’t she love him? why wouldn’t he love her? but you think you understand that cold, hard, faraway look that glistens in her eyes when she talks about your father. the way her eyebrows furrow with a fierce determination. you think you understand that she was too good for your father. in more ways than one. so, who are you?ernest. ernie.pride is a fickle thing if you haven’t got the self-esteem for it and you’ve never had that problem. no. not you. for what better way to spite the family that rejects you? what’s really wrong with you anyway? just a bastard pureblood, raised by your single mother, but really, what’s wrong with that? for there was really no shame in the name ‘macmillan’ no matter what room it was you walked into. macmillans are truly not used to being anything outside of well liked and prominent. as far back as wizarding society could remember, only your untraditional birth is the ink stain on a perfectly fresh parchment. what’s wrong with being macmillan when it means you could walk into a room a black may be occupying while chatting with a werewolf — if the company might have pleased you — and toujours pur would still maybe even give you a quick hello under that nasty breath.(pride is what you hold on to as if it’s the last thing you do. you walk with your head high, you walk with your back straight. you move crisp and fluid, unaffected like a thick skinned boar.)mother’s love has always been enough. tall and willowy, gaunt faced mother who loves linen cloth and muggle records and wearing sheer glitter on her eyelids. who always smells like soap and fresh lilacs. who’s smile is as golden sweet as honey. as a small child you loved to watch her arrange flowers in a vase, freshly cut from her own garden, and the way she’d concentrate so hard the tip of her tongue poked out the side of pink lips. you sat there perched with one of her old first year books but it’s really her you study. engraving every inch of the moment down to the golden hour sun setting alight her hair through the window because you always wanted to remember this:to remember the way mother was always giving and good natured. to remember that she never walked around with a chip on her shoulder, holding grudges. that she was always considerate even to the tiny petals of the flowers she loved so much, ensuring that not even the limpest of them were ever mishandled.to remember how you swore to yourself every time in such moment, that you would always be her son. dutifully. that you were always going to choose to be the kind of man that made that kind of mother proud. you love your mother dearly, for all that she has done for you. so you choose to be macmillan.(not like you had a choice.)

ii.

if only you knew what i had been through, if you knew, you would rejoice too.but it’s hard. to look back and remember the beginning. such a peaceful, hopeful beginning, full of love and the addictive buzzing of an excited, thrumming heart. it’s a struggle but with a bit of effort — with a bit of conviction and sincerity — and the ghost of your mother’s smile, it comes back to you.(almost.)the moments that remind you what you’re living for.to remember that dark haired boy who couldn’t seem to quite make it past the first step on the hogwarts express, the panicked look he’d shoot to those behind him. waiting. watching. how it brought a smile to your own. for you were nervous too but you were always much more brave. much more prideful. you push through the older and the taller and when he makes another attempt to step down back on the platform you place the palm of your hand on the small of his back. firm but kind and encouraging. “up you go now, next foot forward. you don’t want the train to leave without you.”it’s your mother’s way of speech that comes out of your tiny mouth but it seems to be what he needs to continue moving. justin finch-fletchley. it rolls off your tongue. not as your mother’s words but your own that feel almost like a stranger to you. justin finch-fletchley. you repeat his name back to him before introducing your own. you repeat his name over and over again in your mind. it rolls around as you look into soft, kind eyes and you smile so hard it makes you both blush. you think before you know, before it truly manifests itself, that you would like to stay by his side forever.( he is beautiful. not like you. you who have become sharp and angular. you who bares scars, some uglier than others and the memory that for all your wounds, you’ve still seen worse. and maybe he has too. maybe his scars are hidden in his breastbone like the name you secretly carry. but he is beautiful, not like you. soft and gentle and like the foggy glow of a full moon reflecting in a midsummer night’s lake. and his eyes. somehow, through it all, his glittering, kind eyes stayed the same and you fear most that when he looks back at you he sees something different. something that’s changed. that something which has been lost to you. and yet nothings lost, not really. not when his eyes are fixed on yours and his body is so close. when despite all the metallic sweat and blood and dust, his lips are so sweet and warm— the only thing you taste. and finally— finally, you know he’s alive and you’ve got him in your arms and without even having to think, you know that from now on, you’ll be by his side forever. )if only you knew what i had been through, if you knew, you would rejoice too.but it's hard.hard to rejoice in the now when you remember what you had done it all for. the memories don’t come back in night terrors but rather like this: when the caressing summer breeze, folds around your face and the sun peaks out into a blue sky, so warm and so welcoming, it’s light seeps through to the bone and wraps around your soul. the innocent sound of laughter from children no older than eleven, the buzzing excitement of first time wands and school robes rings through your ears and one accidentally bumps into you sending their ice cream cup flying so you offer to buy them a new one. and like a flood it comes back. knocks the very breath right out of you and suddenly you are back on hogwarts grounds and right in front of you is a child, eleven. a child being punished with the cruciatus curse and your body moves faster than your brain can think, faster than your wand hand can jinx, and collides with a carrow. hands with a mind of it’s own shoving a face into wet dirt. a righteous fury burning in your heart. a group of first years silently horrified. like fighting through thick fog you blink your way back into the present but the glaze that covers your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed and you can feel them watching you when you awkwardly stumble away — with the ringing of screams in your ears and the pulseless wrists of the bodies you check on

your fingers and the smell of metallic blood in your nose as you help heal the wounded — because it is not your name they know or remember. and you don’t blame them. you’re not prideful any more anyway and you’re not bitter because for all your scars, you’ve seen worse.if only you knew what i had been through, if you knew, you would rejoice too that you're still here amongst the living.

iii.

bones stretch against hard surface that is as cool as the marble statues that haunt the old macmillan estate. hot flesh stings from the chill so that the sweat stuck to your back starts to make you shiver. you had sworn you could do this. where had that little boy gone? you swore that you were fine, strong enough to follow the seasons into the icy winter where wildflowers died waiting to be reborn. redefined with the melting renewal of spring. you got stuck in the winter of your life.( and how dare you feel this way, what gives you the right? how selfish and miserable it makes you feel when you know it could all have been worse. much worse. when you know how fortunate you are that at least justin and hannah and susan are breathing, and ginny, neville and luna, and god— harry! thank god for harry, who suffered most of all. )healing is a hard, thankless work and you feel the weight of lives in the bags of your eyes and in the bag you once called your body. and there you are scared to close them even for a moment because they are heavy and you fear you might not wake up again. for while you wrestle with the lives of the living, you feel like you're walking amongst ghosts. the resting of eyes so tempting and sweet, you could keep your body there: propped up against the walls of st. mungo’s where you melt under pressure and remain but a ghost along with them. he was cut out for this. you? you don’t know who you are anymore or where that little boy has gone. and all you want to do is cry out for mother (hold her a little bit, feel the stroke of her gentle long fingers, her soft voice as sweet as her honey sweet smile vibrating from her chest as your head rests on her shoulder, mother who would know exactly what to say) but you know she won’t hear you being just another ghosts too. one more casualty of war, a death kept close to your chest. he was cut out for this. you? what happened to you?where did you go?back to where you could feel the presence of mother in search of some peace of mind. back to the dusty boarded up shop, strategically placed right before diagon alley gives way to knockturn, where you begin to clean up the last of the aftermath of war in your life. the one thing you had yet to touch because it had hurt too much to see it. hurt to see the dried blood left over on bits of broken glass because she had not gone easily, your mother. and you try your best not to think of your father as you sweep up the dust and pieces of wood, or what he would have thought upon hearing the news. you don’t want to know which of the bastards had done it, try not to think of how many there had been to come calling once she’d been found out for helping muggleborns flee the country. most of all, as you fix the apothecary your mother left behind, you ignore the nagging thought in your head that maybe he had been here too.( in fact you try hard not to think of him at all. he’s always been a fragment rather than a memory. a looming presence like the dark side of the moon to which you know is there but as they say— out of sight out of mind. and what had he ever done for you to occupy a space in your mind anyway outside of conflicting you with a deep sense of loathing and a burning need to prove yourself better off. what had he given you other than small fragments, not real memories of being around for a christmas or two, and maybe he had taught you how to read on one of those occasions. been the one to show you that you pause for a breath after a ‘period’ so that your sentences weren’t all monotone and run on. but what did he really give you aside of a deep sense of shame?and possibly a memory, not just a fragment, of being the one thing that could always make your mother cry. )so what happened to you, where did you go?back to where love was more than a distant memory. something you knew of once in your past. for not even the soothing waves of the ocean that sing you lullabies and glitter against light like an omnipresent beacon could have given you such peace as this kind of love.where he smells like wildflowers and wet

earth in your bed and has a smile that is so warm and sweet, warmer and sweeter than even honey, that it feels like you’re being kissed by fresh spring sunlight after a dark, bitter winter whenever he fixes up the corners of his mouth. how could life be so pure with him that even the sight of the smallest potted succulent could have made your heart do flips. how come every place you went all you thought of was him. how he would like this and how he would want that. how was it possible that loving someone this way could have tempered your soul and suddenly you saw more — in everyone, young and old, every walking soul — of what people needed. you wanted to be kind like he was, much softer than someone like you could have been brought up to be. you wanted to smile at a stranger, to warm their heart and make their day, through the love that he has given you. it is not me you see but the man who loves me.justin finch-fletchley. (you’ll never forget that moment you saw him from across the great hall. how your body was ready to break and your heart swelled so large that it hurt inside your chest because there he was. brave and beautiful and my god- alive! you had spent every single day — waking and sleeping — thinking about the last time you’d seen him. how you watched his back until it disappeared in the train station with all the words you wanted to say boiling at the tip of your tongue and your hands tingling because they had wanted so badly to grab him and shake him and call him a fool, didn’t he know that it was all going to be different? couldn’t he sense that all your lives where about to change? but instead you watched him, silently let him go. and it dug in your brain like the worst, most sour kind of memory. and for every pain a carrow could have inflicted on you, it never felt worse than that image of watching his back fade away. but there he was brave and beautiful and my god— alive. and as your body had moved towards him you swore you would never leave his side. that you would stay there forever.)you think— you feel, as you put the pieces of your mother’s shop back together, that life should be simple like this. you had figured out that sometimes you could do more outside of the ministry and even further, you realized that sometimes you could heal others without healing work. sometimes you could heal them with some love, some kindness from a stranger.

iv. “give us a peace equal to the war or else our souls will be unsatisfied, and we will wonder what we have fought for and why the many died… “ - langston huges

you feel strange as you struggle to wake up from a dream that felt so tangible and real and you could have sworn that your fingers had been gripping justin’s hand— or was it susan’s? maybe hannah’s? with elation and excitement before the gravity that tethered you to the world breaks, pings melodically like the thread of a unicorn hair ripping apart, and your foot breaks through cement into a veil, like you are slipping through the crack of a sidewalk and it all goes dark. fuzzy. what had you been dreaming that felt so real? and why does your body feel so strange. knees burning with a sharp pain, spine twisted, a forearm pressing into a headboard so unfamiliar and yet too familiar. where did it go? this dream. why was everything in your mind so foggy and why does your heart feel so desperate like something is wrong. like something has been lost when finally all the pieces you’d been trying to pick up were reshaping into something exciting and new. you feel unfamiliar and familiar at the same time and it’s that familiarity which fills you with further dread. you stretch out old bones too big for the bed it’s curled up upon and instantly know where you are. home. and now you reason this must be it. this is the dream and you must have fallen asleep (so weird). so vivid and real but how else could you explain the unmistakable sound of the pan sizzling in a distant kitchen, and the sound of joni mitchell’s 'blue' album skipping where the vinyl was scratched, and the sound of your mother’s voice humming along. sweet as ever but off key like a little bird chirping at the wrong time of day. you stretch out your bones and your whole body cracks and that dread that you’ve been feeling seeps into where they’ve popped but you can’t help yourself. you must see it to the end. you jump up quickly, your childhood room not being spared a glance (but you wouldn’t have recognized it anyway if you had really taken a look and maybe that was for the better because it would have frightened you) and you run for that sound. the sound of home. of mother. and you tell yourself, very convincing of a job you do, rationalizing that you are trapped in a dream regardless of how it all feels so real. as real as the other dream. but which one is which? and your mother? her eyebrows frozen in a furrow at the sound of your footsteps tumbling through the house. the sound of a man’s body lumbering through. and the moment your eyes lay upon her you think, yes, it must be true. so your heart forgets that dread it had been feeling because she’s here. with you in this place. because you are home and you missed her so dearly. but her body feels too real, her heart hammering against your chest when in a thoughtless, childlike moment you hug her. you cry on her shoulder and you cry out the name ‘mother’ with such mournful sorrow she jerks away and it dawns on you she’s real. that she’s real but you’re real. but what does that mean? and oh, god— where is justin?

#character-dev*

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dalyunministry · 4 years

Text

Word Ministration

Topic: The great tribulation

By. Calvin Nii Bannerman

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When Jesus said GREAT TRIBULATION that hasn't happened think about the covid 19, Jesus said unless those days be shortened, no flesh will be saved (Mathew 24:22)

TOPIC :THE GREAT TRIBULATION

Date 10th, July 2020

Let us pray, Heavenly Father, You are Almighty, All powerful, All Knowing, Omnipotent, Omnipresence, we give you the adoration and honor. You're worthy to receive Glory, Honor and Power , You created all things and for Your pleasure they're were created, Your word says where 2 or 3 are gathered in the name of Jesus You are with us, let my words and preaching not be enticing words of man's wisdom but by the Spirit, Holy Spirit bring us to all knowledge in Jesus name. Amen

Matthew 24:15 When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:)

Last century we had 2 world wars , in 1918 we had a plague that killed over 15 million people and now we have covid 19 that has killed over 2 million people and counting, so you have to look at the scoop of history , the bombing of Dresden, the holocaust, etc, there have been horrific things but Jesus said No that's nothing compared to the GREAT TRIBULATION.

Now what does GREAT TRIBULATION means?

It basically means real hardship, affliction . There are 4 different TRIBULATION in Mathew 24

1.TRIBULATION for Israel

2. TRIBULATION of the Church

3. Global or final TRIBULATION

4 Individual TRIBULATION

When Jesus said there won't be one stone Matthew 24:2, 15 And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down. Jesus was talking about Israel,this will be the first TRIBULATION.

Matthew 23:35 That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar. Jesus was talking about this generation, how do we know generation was 40yrs? The generation that came out of Egypt had faith, He said that generation will die in the wilderness and they wondered 40yrs.

David reigned for a generation, he reigned for 40yrs , Solomon reigned 40yrs, king Saul reigned 40yrs , Moses' life is divided in 3 generations, 40yrs in Egypt 40yrs in the wilderness and 40yrs leading people into the boarders of the Promised Land , 40 was a biblical number for establishing a generation .

Jesus made this prophecy in 30AD what will be 40yrs later something interesting happened in 70AD, the Romans destroyed the temple, in the first TRIBULATION when the Jews rebelled against the Romans, Titus the ruler at that time frustrated the Jews, the city was burned and the temple was destroyed you can read about in (History of the Jews) it was awful.

Luke 21:20-22 And when ye shall see Jerusalem compassed with armies, then know that the desolation thereof is nigh.

Then let them which are in Judaea flee to the mountains; and let them which are in the midst of it depart out; and let not them that are in the countries enter thereinto.

For these be the days of vengeance, that all things which are written may be fulfilled.

Jesus was talking about the TRIBULATION that came on Israel and the Jews during that time , the second TRIBULATION that came to the Church.

Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake, this prophecy was talking to all Nations.

Revelation 11 talks about a specific time of TRIBULATION, where it talks about the two witnesses, the Word of God.

Revelation 11:2 But the court which is without the temple leave out, and measure it not; for it is given unto the Gentiles: and the holy city shall they tread under foot forty and two months.

What is forty and two months? The Jewish month has 30 days, forty two months is 1268 days,now go to the next verse.

Revelation 11:3 And I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days, clothed in sackcloth. Some theologians say the 2 witnesses are Moses and Elijah.

Revelation 12:13 And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child. The woman, the church, the child Jesus.

Revelation 12:15 And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.

There was 2 types of TRIBULATION, the natural Israel and the Spiritual Israel (the church )

Matthew 24:29 Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken: Now these are the TRIBULATION that is supposed to come.

Matthew 24:11-13 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

What is the GREAT TRIBULATION in the last days? It's the 7 last plagues, when you read Revelation 16:1 And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God upon the earth.

Now let's go to Daniel.

Daniel 12:1-2 And at that time shall Michael stand up, the great prince which standeth for the children of thy people: and there shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation even to that same time: and at that time thy people shall be delivered, every one that shall be

found written in the book. And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.

There will be a time before Jesus comes the lost can't be saved, life will go on for everybody , God's mercy endureth forever but when Jesus said it will be like in Noahs days , when Noah and his family and all the animals were in the boat, Noah made a final appeal, an altar call and nobody came and the door was shut,it didn't start raining immediately, 7 days went by and their probation was closed , they went on with their normal business until it started raining.

When a country says they will not allow you to trade on international market, it's called economic sanctions , Republic of Iran is an example, that is the weapon they will use to manipulate the church, now online marketing is another tool they will use to control buying and selling as we move away from a cashless society,when you see the abomination of desolation flee, when the Christian Jews in Israel saw the Pagan Rome surrounding Jerusalem , they runned into the wilderness because that was the signal for the Christians and no one amongst them died.

There will be a time when a law will be made,Revelation 13:17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. This is going to create trouble , later in the chapter it says those who don't worship the beast should be killed,first you can't buy or sell,this is not on an individual bases , the book of Revelation is dealing with a global problem.

In the Last days when you see the abomination of desolation stand in the holy place , there's going to be a New World Order that will tell us how to worship God and if you don't cooperate you can't buy or sell , some will say how is that going to happen? Some will sacrifice their security , if there continue to be problems and plagues, they will bring a universal vaccine that will cure the plague , the people will put pressure on the government to get the vaccine for their healing.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

2 Timothy 3:12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Let us pray, Father we thank you for your word, Holy Spirit convict us of all our sins and Father forgive us of our sins in Jesus name.

Romans 10:9-10 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

The greatest gift is Jesus, turn to Him and have everlasting life

Peace, Shalom

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