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pjflmga · 2 days

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little things, alessia russo x reader

summary: based on little things by one direction (big fan yup) where r is a bit insecure about certain things and alessia makes sure to let r know she loves everything about r.

a/n: just smth random i came up w while i’m writing on chicago p2 bc i’m currently stuck lol. wrote this in the middle of the night so don’t mind eventual mistakes… send in recs if you want to :)

wc: 2,3k ish

enjoyy

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you and alessia had been together for a long time now, with your 2 years anniversary coming up in only a few weeks. you loved doing things together, watching movies or series, going out for a walk or shopping. literally anything

football might be your biggest shared interest though, whether it was watching a game or playing it. but it was not hard to see who was playing professionally and who played in a normal sunday league.

alessia played football for a living, her days consisted of training on and off the pitch and of course football games against big, top teams, weekly. whereas you were working as a chef at a restaurant and only had training 2-3 times a week plus a game on the weekends.

despite the big difference of professionalism you played in, you both were each others biggest fan and supporter. you were at all arsenal’s home games and even some away games if possible, and alessia was at yours. of course if you or her didn’t have your own game at the same time, which occasionally happened.

alessia never looked down at you for not being a professional footballer, rather the other way around. she was happy and proud that you got to the two things you loved the most, cooking food during the days and playing football in the evenings. but even if alessia never had an opinion about this, didn’t mean you nor especially the fans highlighted this at times.

as you were the girlfriend of the top player and front face of the lionesses and arsenal, people didn’t shy away from sharing their ignorant opinions. when alessia saw a rude comment about you she would always delete it, before she read half of it and especially before you got the chance to even know about it. but since you were together with alessia, you had around 30k followers on instagram yourself and a lot of the ignorant comments ended up in your comment section as well.

you knew you shouldn’t care, but you couldn’t help but read every single negative comment about you. it was everything from you using alessia for her being famous and having a lot of money, to not being good enough for her and being an ugly and bad person. the comments about you only “using” her didn’t really bother you, as you and not to mention, alessia knew that it wasn’t true. but it was rather the comments about you being too ugly, or not that a good enough person for her that made you feel like the smallest person on earth.

this had been going on ever since you got together and the public eye found out about it. at first it didn’t bother you, but as time went on it started to get to you. the blonde and you had talked about it before, but even if you weren’t, you always made sure to say that you were fine.

as of lately alessia had started to notice that you were feeling a bit more tired and down than usually. at first she thought it was because of your job and how hectic it was. but she shortly after realised it was because of all comments on social media.

and with that she started to make more efforts than usually to make you feel as special and loved as you deserved, not to mention how she felt about you.

————————————

as a person in general, you were a bit insecure about yourself. you didn’t like certain things with your body or the way you looked.

as time passed alessia started to figure out more of your small insecurities, how every time she tried to make a short video with you, you always stayed quiet because you didn’t like the way your voice sounded on camera.

how you never got changed in front of her, despite being together for a long, long time. because you didn’t like how your stomach or thighs looked. she obviously had seen you without clothes before, but it was different when you changed and got dressed. it made you feel more conscious about the way you looked, in a way you didn’t like and therefore didn’t want alessia to see.

but also how you recently had stopped coming along to nights out and dinners with her team, because you were insecure or what other people would think. despite alessia always telling you how much the team loved you and wanted you there.

alessia knew these things made you insecure, but these were also the things she loved about you the most. the way you looked, the way you were, the way you smiled and laughed. your voice, your body. everything.

at first she didn’t want these little things to slip out, in case it made you more insecure. but she quickly realised the best way to make you feel more comfortable and confident, was to bring your insecurities up, subtly and in a reassuring way, one by one.

every time you smiled you got small crinkles by your eyes and for some reason fans started to point that out, together with your freckled cheeks. alessia didn’t understand, as she thought those were two of the cutest things about you, but you hated them.

now when she started to see the comments more often, she realised that was the reason why you started to cover your freckles up with makeup, and at least try to smile less. not that it really worked when you were with alessia, who stumbled around and laughed all the time.

“babe, you’re so beautiful today.” alessia said as the two of you got ready to head out for a little walk in the park. “why are you putting on makeup? you’re just as beautiful without it.” she smiled softly.

“i dunno.” you mumbled. “don’t really like my freckles.” you said lowly. with that alessia walked up behind you, where you sat by the desk in your shared bedroom, and hugged you tightly from behind.

“you.” kiss. “are.” kiss. “more.” kiss. “beautiful”. kiss. “than.” kiss. “anyone.” kiss. “else. ” kiss. “in.” kiss. “the.” kiss. “world.” the blonde said as she kissed you freckles.

“stoppp less, you’re ruining my makeup.” you said, but couldn’t help but feeling a smile creeping up in the corner of your mouth.

“nooo!!” she said. “i’m just making sure your natural beauty is showing.” she continued as she bombed kisses on you again. you couldn’t help but laugh at that. “there’s the beautiful smile of yours.” alessia said simply.

it took you another 20 minutes to get ready before your headed out. instantly when you stepped out of the port of your stairwell, alessia grabbed you hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

“you know, your hands fits perfectly in mine.” the striker said softly.

“what do you mean less?” you asked confused, not quite catching what she meant.

“i don’t know, i just know it feels perfect to hold it in my hand.” she smiled with a chuckle. you nodded slowly, still not getting where she came from. but it was something with the way she had said it while squeezing your hand, that made you feel good. you felt yourself being thrown out of your thoughtss as alessia pulled you with her and started to walk towards the park, while babbling about her upcoming game against liverpool this weekend.

when you stopped in the middle of the park by a big tree alessia suggested that the two of you should make a tiktok together. a video where you’d have to rank her arsenal teammates.

“no i can’t do that.” you said with a laugh. “they’re gonna kill me.”

“noo, babe!! it’ll be fun, they will love it.” she laughed as she pulled up her phone.

“okay, just because i love you. but don’t post it!! i don’t uh, want people to hear my- to see what my ranking.” you said quietly.

“oh y/n, it’ll be fine. everyone will laugh at how pissed leah will be when she sees she’s not your number one.” alessia chuckled. “besides, everyone should get to hear that beautiful voice of yours when you explain your rankings.” she continued, subtly mentioning yet another insecurity. you instantly felt yourself relaxing a little when she said that. to be honest you hadn’t really realised that you had tensed up in the first place.

“let’s do this then, less.” you said as you grabbed her phone and started the ranking.

——————————

“i can’t believe you were about to put frida at number one.” alessia said with a grunt as you finished.

“well she is just the best, isn’t she?” you asked with a smile.

“well… no. i am supposed to be there, i swear if you weren’t with me right now, you would’ve put her as your number 1.” alessia answered with a unhappy voice.

“nooo babe, i’d never do that!!” you laughed. “you are obviously my number one!”

“and so are you y/n/n! you are my forever number one and i love you and everything about you.” the blonde said softly as she gave hugged you and kissed your cheek. “let’s post this and see how the girls reacts.” she continues as she posted the video.

just then she got a message from leah in the arsenal group chat, asking who’d be joining for dinner aka ordering food, and movie night at her place tomorrow night. a flood of “yes” and “me” came right away when alessia looked at you.

“you want to go?” she asked hopefully.

“uh i don’t know, don’t want to intrude your team bonding night.” you said lowly.

“no y/n babe, first you could never do that. the girls have been asking if you won’t being joining anytime soon anyways. and besides, it’s just movie night tmrw.” alessia explained as she took your hand and gave it a squeeze.

“well, okay then i guess.” you said.

“YESSSS!!!” the england forward squealed as she sent a quick “me and y/n are coming!” to the group chat and right away an even bigger flood of “yes!”, “wohoo” and “finally” came.

as tomorrow evening eventually came around, you and the blonde got ready together. since it was just movie night and leah’s, you wouldn’t dress up fancy. so you grabbed a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt as you headed towards your bathroom to get changed. but before you managed to take a step alessia grabbed your arm and hugged you tightly.

“you know i don’t mind you changing clothes in front of me.” she said softly as she hugged you tighter.

“i know, it’s just uh me. i don’t know, it’s stupid. of course i should be able to change in front of my girlfriend of almost two years.” you said while you let go of alessia to look into her eyes.

“baby, it’s not stupid the way you feel. i just want you to know that i love you and i love every single thing about you. i love your eyes, your smile, how you look and oh my god, have you seen your body?” she said softly and you can’t help but smile a little. “if you don’t feel comfortable to change in front of me, i won’t stop you. but i want you to feel comfortable with me, no matter what. i don’t care what other people say or think and you shouldn’t either. because you are more perfect than anyone else. okay?” alessia continued.

all you could do was just stare at your girlfriends. you realised where she was coming from with all of this, but to be honest, it made you feel better. she was right, the only opinion you really cared about was hers, and you knew how much she loved you.

“i know, i just feel so self conscious and insecure sometimes. i wish i didn’t but i can’t help but being affected by it.” you answered.

“you know love, those things you are self conscious about, are some of the things i love the most you.” she said as she once again gave you one of her famous “lessi bear hugs”.

“yeah i know less, thank you so much.” you said hugging her back. after some time you finally let go of each other and you felt truly safe and loved by the striker. you took a deep breath and actually felt comfortable enough to change in front of your girlfriend.

all alessia could do was looking at you with the proudest smile ever. she was happy that her little side mission had worked out the way she wanted to, that you felt better about yourself and also felt more comfortable around her.

what took her by surprise though was that you for the first time in a long, long time didn’t cover up your freckles with makeup. all you did was curling your eyelashes and put on some mascara. alessia once again looked at you with the biggest and proudest smile as well as heart eyes. oh, that girl was head over heels for you.

“you’re so beautiful, my girl.” alessia said with a grin.

when you 20 minutes later arrived at leah’s house and went to knock on the door, it was instantly opened by a not super happy looking leah.

“how dare you not put as number 1 and not even number 2, but 3 on your list, miss?” she said while giving you a stern look, but you could hear the teasing in her voice.

“told you…” alessia whispered in your ear lowly, with a laugh. “i’ll leave the two of you to figure this out.” she continued and walked into great the rest of the team.

“well hello to you too leah…” you laughed. “i guess i just don’t love you as much as less.”

“okay that’s fair BUT YOU PUT FRIDA OVER ME??” leah shouted.

“well, if it makes you feel any better, i almost put frida above lessi. but then i wouldn’t have had a place to sleep in.” you laughed.

after some back and forth you finally settled on a fair ranking where, spoilers, leah ended up as your number 1. then leah finally let you into her house and let you in with a happy smile over a face so you could greet the other arsenal players there.

the night was amazing, just what you needed. you felt safe around alessia and her teammates and you didn’t feel like you were in the way and disturbing them. they made you laugh all the time, and now the crinkles by your eyes didn’t bother you anymore.

even if alessia’s mission was accomplished, she didn’t stop reminding you how much she loved you. everything about you. that the little things you were subconscious about, made you to the amazing person that you were and the person alessia loved so much.

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lucy90712 · 2 days

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Headcanon for all the boys you want to write this for :

He overhears reader talking to a family member/ friend about how *the boys* are the one for her and just talks about a longtime future with them

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Gavi:

- you have a free day for once so Gavi begs you to come to his training session with him but he didn't need to do much to convince you as you haven't been to training with him in a while as you've been busy with school and work plus you haven't seen the rest of the guys in ages

- as Gavi is still recovering from his injury his training sessions look a little different so he started his exercises after the rest of the team but kept training after everyone else finished so you watch him for a minute until the rest of the guys call you over

- It's been a while since you last saw most of the guys so you catch up on what you've been up to which for you isn't a very interesting as you have the same routine almost every day with school during the week and work on the weekends

- the conversation turned to your relationship pretty quickly and how things have been as Gavi has been able to do more and have more of his normal life back then the boys start talking about how sappy Gavi is and how he never shuts up about you

- you tell them that you are the same way and you couldn't care less as you can't imagine being sappy with anyone other than Gavi as he is your past present and future

- they tease you for saying that but you didn't care as it's the truth you love Gavi with every fibre of your being and you don't want to be with anyone else for the rest of your life he is the one for you

- Gavi overhears you saying all of that which puts a big smile on his face for the rest of his training session and for the rest of the day it makes him so happy to hear as he feels the exact same way about you but he didn't want to just say it

- he never tells you that he heard what you said but he thinks about it all the time whenever he has a bad day and he gets home and sees you it reminds him instantly of what you said and lifts his mood immediately

- all it takes is for him to realise that as long as he has you all of the little meaningless things don't matter as in 5 days or 5 years you will still be by his side supporting him and those little thing won't even still be in his memory

- that conversation you had without you knowing he could hear you will forever be his little pick me up and he never plans to tell you as he doesn't see the need to embarrass you by telling you what he heard

Pedri:

- every summer Pedri takes you with him back to Tenerife with him to spend time with his family and to just relax but you didn't mind one bit as you love it there and you love his family

- ever since Pedri introduced you to his family you have been really close with his mum she was glad to have female presence around and you were happy to spend time with her and create a bond with Pedri's family

- seeing as you don't get to see each other too much Pedri's mum asks if you want to have a girls day when you are in Tenerife with Pedri and who would you be to say no to a girls day

- the two of you go and get lunch and get your nails done together before going back to Pedri's house to sit outside by the pool in the sun with cocktails seeing as Pedri wasn't there when you got there

- while you are sat outside you get to talking about your future and because you feel comfortable around his mum you tell her that you don't see yourself doing anything without Pedri by your side and how you never want to have to love your life with anyone else

- as you are saying these things Pedri arrives home and starts to listen while standing at the back doors of the house he hears every word you say which just warms his heart as he knew you two were in love but to hear you put it that way really makes him happy

- at some point you see a figure standing behind you out of the corner of your eye and you freak out until you realise it's Pedri but then you freak out even more thinking about what he heard as you didn't know if what you said would be too much for him

- he quickly makes his way over to you and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear that he wouldn't want to experience anything in life without you which makes you feel just as warm and fuzzy inside as Pedri did when he heard you say it

- his mum hears what he said to you and it makes her smile knowing that her son has found someone special who he loves and who loves him back equally as much

Jude:

- being back in England for the summer means seeing family and this year as the summer break was shorter due to the euros and after spending the whole time in Germany with Jude when you fly back you go straight home to spend time with your family while Jude goes to see his

- you spend a few weeks apart before you travel up to spend the last part of your time in England with Jude and his family as before you know it you will be back in Madrid and you want to make sure you see everyone before life takes over again

- Jude is glad to have you back as he's missed you and Jobe is excited to see you too as you get on well with him and it's been a while since you've seen him

- they had a sibling day planned for the day you arrived back as you came a bit early but they were quick to change their plans and invite you along and they both say that it will be more fun with you there anyway

- you all spend the day together walking around town and going in all sorts of little stores on the high street most of which you only go in to get away from big groups of fans who want pictures with Jude and Jobe

- to end the day all three of you go for dinner and at some point Jude goes to the bathroom leaving you to talk with Jobe so he starts asking about how Madrid has been for you and you talk about how it was difficult to adjust at first but Jude helped you feel at home

- that leads you on to saying how you could do anything if Jude was by your side as he just gets you and always knows how to help you through things or what you need at any moment which you don't think that anyone else could do

- Jobe then asks if you think you'll be with Jude for the rest of your life and you say that you have no doubt that Jude is the one for you and you don't want to spend the rest of your life with anyone else

- Jude heard all this as he walked back over and he can't help but smile knowing that you are so happy with him as all he really wants is for the both of you to be happy together and he tells you that as he sits back down which makes you blush as you know that he heard you

Ruben:

- You and Ruben spent a few days away just the two of you after the euros but after that his friends invited him to join them for a few days on a boat so he asked you and you agreed so that's where you went

- Ruben introduced you to his friends a long time ago but you don't get to see them very often so you hadn't met their girlfriends before but they were quick to introduce themselves and they all seemed really sweet

- you spend most of the few days on the boat talking to the girls and getting to know them so by the time the last day rolls all of you are so comfortable talking to each other about anything which is when they start to gush over your relationship with Ruben and how loving he is towards you

- they keep insisting that you have the perfect relationship but you tell them that you are nowhere near perfect but because you know that you want this relationship to last forever you have learnt how to make compromises and nit fight about the little things that mean nothing

- Ruben overhears you saying that which only solidifies in his mind that you are the one for him and it encourages him to take the initiative and take your relationship to the next step

- the day after your last day on the boat Ruben plans a whole day where it's just the two of you doing lots of fun little activities which ends with a trip to the beach for a picnic for dinner as the sun sets

- just as the sun has gone down and the sky is all sorts of beautiful colours Ruben brings you closer to the waters edge where he suddenly gets down on one knee and asks you to marry him

- he has a whole speech to tell you how much he loves you and why which he ends with mentioning what you said on the boat the day before which you had no idea he heard but it makes you happy that he resonated with what you said

- if the girls didn't think your relationship was perfect before they definitely do after they hear the story of your engagement at a dinner Ruben organised to celebrate it

#gavi x reader #gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pedri x reader #pedri imagine #football imagine #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #pedri #gavi #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias

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imamotherfuckingstar-lord · 2 days

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imagine logan seeing you again, pt.3

logan x reader

summary: In his universe, Logan and you were in love. Then you died. Now he’s in a different timeline and you are very much alive.

warning: some deadpool x wolverine spoilers. this takes place after the movie. under 1k words. THIS PART IS UNEDITED SORRY

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The air smelled like cigarettes and regrets, the perfect kind of bar for Logan Howlett. He walked in, tugging at his dark jean jacket. The place was dark sans a few overhead lights here and there, but he spotted you instantly at the bar. With your back to him, he watched as you slapped the counter several times. At first he thought you were made but he noticed the way the bartender was laughing. He moved closer to see what was going on and walked into the tail end of a story. “...and then Wade shit his pants! It was amazing.”

“I did not!”

Logan hadn’t noticed Wade next to you but the merc grew louder in trying to defend himself. Slightly amused, Logan ordered a beer and watched the pair of you go back and forth until you finally noticed him. You smiled and a hand fell on his shoulder as you stood up from the stool. He recognized how wasted you actually were and without thinking, caught you by the waist. “So you’ve been here for a while, I take.”

“Only like thirty minutes,” you mused, plopping back down onto the stool. Logan smirked and chugged down the beer placed in front of him. He was a certified drinker and the beer was basically water for the man. It felt good. He hadn’t drank much since coming to this new world - he was trying to be better but tonight, as he watched you mercilessly mocked Wade he felt like indulging.

One night, would it be so bad?

“Logan, let’s take some shots.” You pulled him down next to you and he adjusted himself onto his seat, ignoring the way your hand on him made him feel. He needed more to drink if he was going to survive the night, so he ordered a round for the three of you. Then another and another…

“...is he always like that?”

You gazed up from the shot glass in your hand and followed the direction Logan was facing. Wade was caressing the pool stick in his hand as a failed attempt to distract the poor fella who agreed to a round. Laughing, you said yes and shrugged. “Wade is anything but boring. I like that about him.”

“How did you two get mixed up together?”

Logan felt more relaxed than when he first arrived two hours ago, his jacket was hanging off his chair and the sleeves to his dark henley were pulled up to his forearms. You tried not to stare too hard but you were only a woman. He was gorgeous and rough around the edges, defeat in his eyes but there was something more to the man next to you.

“A friend introduced us, well, more like a frenemy of Wade’s. We’ve worked off and on for the last few years. He’s honestly, don’t tell him this, not that bad. Kind of annoying…”

Logan laughed, which surprised him more than you. His smile faded when the expression on your face turned into her. He felt ashamed, bashful, and he quickly ordered two more rounds. Sensing a shift, you changed the subject and asked if he had talked to Laura lately.

“She called the other day. Not sure I can give her what she wants…”

“Laura just needs support. People she can count on, friends,” you assured him. The rounds of tequila were brought over and Logan slid two shot glasses to you. You took one and lifted it up to him. “To Laura.”

Logan looked at you, eyes softened as his old heart beated faster than he cared for. Your hair was out of your face, eyes a bit glazed from the alcohol but there was something so different about you. Something the version of you he had loved didn’t have - happiness. You were just happy and satisfied with your life, and he couldn’t fathom it. Logan couldn’t understand how you could be so different from, well, you. There had been something so sad about the woman he loved, so melancholy. Always living for others but you, you sat next to him happy as a clam to be in some shitty little bar. With Wade accosting other customers, sitting next to a man you hardly knew but was so kind to. Logan felt sick to his stomach, guilty as hell because he wouldn't admit it. Too scared to admit that he was enjoying this version of you. Lighthearted and fun.

You piece of shit, after all she had done for everyone. This is how you repay her? By drooling over another version of her? She died in your arms, you prick!

“Logan.”

Your voice was quietly sweet and he realized he had dazed off, immediately he pushed away all thoughts and chuckled. “To Laura.”

You grinned and clicked your glass against his before downing it. Then you toasted to Wade and Logan begrudgingly joined in for the second shot. Too much alcohol had circulated in your body now, your head felt lightheaded and suddenly, you were braver than you had ever been. Recognizing the song playing over the speakers, you casually suggested Logan take you out to dance. Logan snorted at such a suggestion, thinking you were messing with him but you just stared at him.

“You can’t be fucking serious!”

“Don’t cuss at me, Logan.”

Your tone felt very final but the smile on your face was light and in that moment, Logan couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to. He stood up from his stool, a cold stone expression on his face as he took your hand and cursed under his breath as he pulled you to the small dancing area across the room. He ignored the staring coming from Wade, who was still playing pool. Holding back a laugh, you allowed Logan to pull you to him, one arm around your waist, while the other held your hand. His body felt strong against yours yet his fingers were gentle, tender as they held you. Your hand slipped up his back and Logan stilled for a single moment when your head rested against his shoulder before he relaxed. He led the dance, slow methodical steps but maybe it was the drinking that had you feeling dizzy and far too relaxed. Neither of you said a single word the entire song, Logan just held you in his arms and hated that he didn’t hate it. He could have gone all night on the dance floor with you against him, his hands on you. He didn’t mind it one bit and when the song ended, he felt disappointed in so many ways.

“Thanks for the dance, Logan,” you mused, patting him on the chest. His hands fell from your body and he couldn’t manage a smile. His eyes were glued to you as you mentioned you needed to use the restroom.His fingers slowly, painfully released you from his grip. You smiled at him and walked toward the bathrooms. Logan stood there as the next song played, something more upbeat and he could feel Wade’s annoying stare but he couldn’t take his eyes off where you stood. Back home, he never danced with you. You weren’t the dancing type, you had been far too busy to enjoy those sorts of things. This had been a first for him and tried so hard to picture the woman he loved in his arms but all he could see was you.

“You’re so fucked.”

Logan snapped out of his thoughts and glared at Wade, who stood at his side. “Got the hots for the ghost of your girlfriend, huh?”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Wade threw an arm around Logan’s shoulder and noted he knew more than he led on. “That cute little snapshot you have in your wallet? I gotta say, you have a type.”

“Don’t touch my shit again,” Logan warned him. He forgot about the photo in his wallet. Wade smirked and nodded to where you were coming from the bathrooms.

“Your secret is safe with me…for now, asshole. Just letting you know, you break her heart and I break your small little dick, got it?”

Logan ignored the man and pushed him away as you walked up with a curious glance. Wade flipped him off and wandered back to the pool table. You asked what that was about and Logan said nothing. “Another round?”

“Hell no,” you laughed, bouncing on the heels of your feet. “I am hungry though…I know a really good burger place…”

Perfection. That’s what you were, that’s what this all felt like for Logan and he knew then, Wade was completely right - he was so fucked. Logan agreed, the two of you walked back to the counter for your things. He put on his jean jacket and you grabbed your bag, both of you agreeing to sneak out before Wade could follow. The night was cold but Logan felt nothing but a surge of warmth fall over his body as you walked alongside him. Talkative and a bit clumsy, so much so, he resigned his hand on the small of your back. You didn’t seem to mind and he didn’t either.

So the two of you walked on, disappearing into the night crowd of the city - Logan’s hand, warm on your back.

...............

leave comment for a tag. (I tagged those from the OG post who seemed interested in seeing a second part)

@pushingdaisies1

@johnnysilverhandeeznuts

@murderhousemuse

@carolinameinicke

@abysswhiskey11

@weallhaveadestiny

@cosmiccandydreamer @airwolf92 @fidgetingbee

@bananarepublic58 @ilove-sexydilfsnmilfs @an-tkc

@wotcherboo

@theslvttysimp @cauqhtz @ittoscumdump @sad0ni0n

@lostinspace33 @corpse-ihte71 @somekale08

@britthiddlesbatch @doradora8008 @aheadfullofsteverogers

@erikaafernns @justkennadi @tinalbion @tomukit

@killerwendigo @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @theprettyarachnid

@meg11 @moonrosekk

@luna-usagi-chan @lucienjynix

@xxshantixx @unlikelycupcakequeen

@morishitoshi

@between-the-pages-ofa-book

#wolverine x reader #logan howlett x reader #wolverine #deadpool #marvel

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chrzzboo · 2 days

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Broken bond

Summary: after meeting her brother’s teammate a romance begins. Even after being strictly forbidden from getting involved with a driver it still somehow happened.

Reader x Carlos

Reader x brother Charles

Genre: angst/ fluff

I leaned against the wall in the busy Ferrari garage, my heart racing with anticipation. My brother, Charles Leclerc, was about to compete in the Monaco Grand Prix, and I was here to support him. The garage was filled with the sound of engines being fine-tuned, the occasional whir of tools, and the sound of hushed conversations between engineers and mechanics.

As I waited, my gaze wandered around the garage. The mechanics were working tirelessly to ensure that Charles' car would be at its best for the race. There was a sense of focus and intensity in the air, everyone fully committed to their tasks. Some technicians were making adjustments to the car's tires, while others were running last-minute checks on the engine.

Suddenly, my attention was drawn to a familiar figure as he approached me. It was Carlos Sainz, a fellow Formula One driver on the Ferrari team and Charles' teammate. He was casually walking towards me, a faint smile on his face. The sight of him immediately caused a flutter in my chest.

"Hey Y/N," Carlos greeted me warmly, his Spanish accent adding a bit of charm to his voice. He leaned against the wall next to me. "Nervous for the race?"

I couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. "A bit," I admitted. "It's always nerve-racking watching my brother race, especially on home soil. But I know he'll do great."

Carlos nodded in understanding. "Yeah, Charles is a fantastic driver. I have no doubt he'll put on a good show out there." He paused for a moment, studying me carefully. "You're really close to him, aren't you?"

"We're pretty close," I replied, my voice soft. "Charles and I have always had a strong bond. He's not just my brother; he's also my protector and my best friend."

Carlos chuckled softly. "I can certainly see that," he said. "I've noticed how protective he is of you. He practically glares at any guy who looks in your direction."

"Yeah, Charles can be a bit overprotective sometimes," I admitted with a chuckle. "He tends to glare at any guy who even looks at me for too long."

Carlos chuckled again, amused. "Well, I can't say I blame him. You're his younger sister, after all. I'd be protective too if I had a sibling like you."

I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks at his words, and I quickly looked down at my shoes, trying to hide my embarrassment. "You're just saying that," I mumbled, but inside, my heart was skipping a beat.

Carlos noticed my reaction and smiled gently. "I'm just being honest," he said. "You're a beautiful girl, Y/N. I doubt your brother is the only one who gets protective when it comes to you."

"It's not just Charles," I added, trying to deflect the compliment. "My older brother Lorenzo and my younger brother Arthur are just as protective, if not more. It's like they've assigned themselves as my personal bodyguards."

Carlos laughed at my words, clearly amused by the situation. "Wow, sounds like you've got a whole army of overprotective brothers," he teased. "I bet they don't let you go anywhere without their approval."

"Pretty much," I agreed, rolling my eyes dramatically. "It's like they've all agreed to keep me in a bubble. It can be quite suffocating sometimes, but I know it comes from a place of love and care."

Suddenly, Charles appeared behind us, his expression serious as he took in the sight of Carlos and me talking. "What's going on here?" he asked bluntly, his eyes narrowing at Carlos.

I stifled a sigh, already knowing how this was going to go. Charles was in full protective mode, and I could see him studying Carlos with a mixture of suspicion and irritation.

"We were just talking," Carlos answered casually, unbothered by Charles' intense gaze. He gave me a quick smirk before turning his attention back to Charles.

Charles looked between the two of us, his jaw clenching. "Just talking, huh?" he said skeptically. "And what, exactly, did you two find so interesting to talk about?"

"We were just discussing the race," I chimed in, trying to ease the tension. "Carlos was just saying that he's sure you'll do great."

Charles's gaze softened slightly, but he still held onto his protective attitude. "Is that so," he said, looking back at Carlos. "Well, I appreciate the support. But I think you've had enough time talking to Y/N for now."

"And what if I want to talk to her a little longer?” Carlos challenged, meeting Charles's gaze with a smirk.

Charles's expression darkened, and I could practically see the air around them crackle with tension. "I don't think so," he said firmly. "I don't need you distracting my sister right before a race."

I watched anxiously as both Charles and Carlos were called away to prepare for the race. Charles gave me one last protective look before leaving, clearly not happy about the conversation I had with Carlos.

I stood there, feeling a mixture of emotions. On one hand, I was excited to watch Charles compete in the race, but on the other hand, I couldn't shake off the feeling of being a bit suffocated by his over protectiveness.

I knew Charles meant well, but sometimes his relentless protection felt like it was more about his own insecurities than anything else. It was frustrating being constantly under his watchful eye, always feeling like I needed his permission to talk to someone or do anything slightly risky.

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yourusername Nothing better than supporting my brother in our home country 🇲🇨

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charles_leclerc: Love having you here ma petite soeur!

yourusername: Petite? Don't get too confident brother you're just a year older.

alexandrasaintmleux: I told you that white blouse would look good on you! Belle fille 😍

yourusername: Love you! 😘

carlossainz55: Hermosa! ❤️ by author

charles_leclerc: 🤨

love_16_ferrari: Omg she's back in the paddock!

carlando554: She always slays them outfits 💅

f1_maniac_lan: Carlos you ain't slick brother

albonowono_formula: Shhh let him have his moment 🤫

After the race, Charles had finished in a respectable P5 position, and Carlos had secured third place, a solid result for both drivers. They were both in the process of cooling down and unwinding from the intense race when Charles approached me, his expression contrite.

"Hey," he said, his voice softer than before. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I turned to face him, feeling a mix of emotions. I knew he was here to apologize for his earlier behavior, but a part of me was still irritated by his protectiveness.

"Sure," I replied, folding my arms across my chest. "What is it?"

Charles let out a sigh, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "I just wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier," he said sincerely. "I know I was being a bit overprotective, and I'm sorry if I made you feel smothered."

I softened a bit, appreciating his acknowledgment of his behavior. "It's okay," I said, my tone gentle. "I know you mean well, but sometimes it feels like you're trying to control my every move."

Charles nodded, looking genuinely remorseful. "I know," he admitted. "And that's not my intention at all. I just worry about you, you know? Especially since you're always around people like Carlos..." He trailed off, leaving the implication hanging in the air.

I raised an eyebrow, realizing where this was going. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a hint of defensiveness in my voice.

Charles shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "It's just... he's a bit of a player, you know? I don't want you to get caught up in his womanizing ways."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Carlos is not the womanizing player you make him out to be," I retorted, defending the Spaniard. "He's a good guy, and we're just friends. You have nothing to worry about."

Despite my irritation at Charles's comments about Carlos, I took a deep breath, trying to keep my temper in check. I didn’t want to start a fight with my brother, especially here at the circuit.

"Look, I get that you're worried about me," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "But you don't need to worry about Carlos. We’re just friends, and I can look after myself."

Charles looked unconvinced but nodded anyway, sensing that I was done talking about the topic. "Alright," he said reluctantly. "But just be careful, okay? I don't trust that guy, even if he’s my teammate."

After a moment of tense silence, we both decided it was best to move on and focus on celebrating Charles's performance in the race. He gave me one last lingering look before turning to leave the garage.

"I'll see you later," he said gruffly, clearly not entirely satisfied with the conversation. "Just stay away from Carlos, okay?"

I watched as Charles walked away, still feeling a bit frustrated by his over protectiveness. But as he left, I sighed, feeling a pang of guilt for upsetting him. I knew deep down he was just worried about me, even if his way of expressing it was sometimes overbearing.

A moment later, I felt someone approach me from behind. I turned to see Carlos standing there, his eyes watching Charles walk away before shifting back to me.

"You okay?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice. "You guys seemed to have quite the intense conversation there."

I shrugged, smiling weakly. "Yeah, it was nothing really. Just some sibling stuff."

Carlos looked like he wanted to say something more, but he held back, sensing that I didn’t really want to talk about it.

Instead, he changed the subject. "You think your brother will ever stop being so overprotective?" he asked, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes in response. "Not a chance," I replied, chuckling despite myself. "He’s always been like that, even when we were little. He’s just extra protective of me because I’m the baby of the family."

"And because you're a girl," Carlos added, raising an eyebrow. "You know how brothers can get with their little sisters."

"Yeah, I guess that's true," I admitted, sighing. "But it gets exhausting sometimes. He acts like I can’t do anything without him. It’s like he doesn’t trust me to make my own decisions."

Carlos nodded, a sympathetic look in his eyes. "I can imagine," he said with a smirk. "But you gotta admit, it’s a bit funny seeing him glare at me every time I get near you."

I couldn’t help but laugh, knowing that it was true. Charles’s overprotective nature did provide some amusement.

"Yeah, it’s kinda funny," I admitted, grinning. "But it also drives me crazy. He acts like I’m a fragile porcelain doll or something."

He laughs slightly at my antics. "I'm always here for you if you need a talk." I smile appreciating him.

From that moment on, Carlos and I started spending more time together, often bonding over shared jokes about my brother's overprotectiveness. Our relationship gradually shifted from just casual conversations to playful banter and lighthearted exchanges.

As time went on, our friendship grew stronger, and I began to see Carlos not just as my brother's teammate, but as a trustworthy friend with whom I felt comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings. Slowly but surely, I developed feelings for him.

We decided to keep our first few dates discreet and quiet, away from paparazzi and the hustle of the racing environment. With that in mind, we found ourselves in a small, secluded park, far enough from any prying eyes. And that led to it becoming a habit.

The soft glow of the setting sun cast a warm light over us as we sat on a bench, our hands brushing against each other occasionally, sending a shiver down my spine.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the park enveloped us in a soft twilight glow. Carlos and I remained on the bench, our conversation still flowing effortlessly. The park had emptied, leaving us feeling more isolated than ever.

Carlos shifted closer to me on the bench, his knee brushing against mine, sending a shiver through my body. "There’s something I need to tell you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I turned to face him, suddenly feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety in my chest. I could see the intensity in his eyes as he looked at me, and I knew this was important.

"What is it?" I asked, my heart beating a little faster.

Carlos took a deep breath, seeming to gather his courage. "Y/N," he said, his gaze never wavering from mine. "Ever since we met, I’ve felt a connection with you, something I’ve never experienced before. You’re smart, funny, and incredibly beautiful, and I can’t deny that I’ve developed strong feelings for you."

My heart skipped a beat at his heartfelt words. I had secretly hoped for this moment, but the intensity of his confession still took me by surprise.

"Carlos," I said, my voice soft. "I feel the same way. You’ve become someone very special to me, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life."

Even as I said those words, a pang of guilt shot through me. I couldn’t shake off the memory of Charles’s overprotective nature and the fear of how he would react if he found out about our relationship.

"But," I said, my voice faltering slightly, "What about Charles? He won’t be happy about this, you know that."

Carlos reached out and gently took my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. "I know," he said, his gaze unwavering. "But we can’t let your brother control our happiness. We care about each other, and that’s all that matters."

I looked down at our intertwined hands, feeling a mixture of emotions. Carlos’s words made sense, but the worry of my brother’s disapproval weighed heavily on my mind.

"I just don’t want to hurt him," I said, sighing. "He’s always been so protective, it feels like he’d be betrayed if he found out we were seeing each other behind his back."

Carlos squeezed my hand gently, his fingers tracing small circles on the back of mine. "I understand," he said, his voice soft. "But we don’t have to tell him right away. We can keep this between us for now, until we’re both ready to face whatever comes our way."

After a bit of discussion and reassurances from Carlos, I finally gave in and agreed to keep our budding relationship a secret for now. It didn’t feel right hiding it from Charles, but the thought of upsetting him was also too much to bear.

"Alright," I said, leaning into Carlos’s side. "We’ll keep this between us for now. But we can’t keep it a secret forever."

"I know," Carlos agreed, wrapping his arm around me and drawing me closer. "But we have time to figure everything out. For now, let’s just enjoy each other’s company and see where this goes."

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yourusername Lovely weather with lovely food

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yourbff: Did my invite get lost in the mail or what?

yourusername: Girl you know damn well 🙄

alexandrasaintmleux: Pretty girl

yourusername: Mwah love you 💋

charles_leclerc: Food without me? How could you!

yourusername: And the world kept spinning... 🌍

lovelyLan4: Y/N ate and no crumbs were left not even the plate matter of fact she devoured.

yourusername: Aww so sweet thank you love ❤️

oscxlan814: Are we just going to pretend that Carlos didn’t like this post?

carlitos655: Nah bestie he always likes her stuff probably to piss off Charles oscxlan814: Honestly sounds like him

inchident_leclercstappen161: Okay but whose arm is that in the second picture?

vernorstappen1416: Thank god you mentioned it I thought I was going insane dannyrichyf: Maybe one of her brothers? I mean Charles isn't her only brother. f1_crzz_gy: I don't think it is, her two other brothers posted too today and both somewhere different. lanscar48155x: Let the girl live c'mon not everything revolves around dating

leclercxsainz5516: Bestie where's the blouse from?

yourusername: It's from H&M! their last fall season collection!

The next couple of months flew by in a whirlwind. Carlos and I spent every moment we could together, cherishing each second we were able to steal away from the eyes of the world.

We navigated the complexities of our secret relationship with discreet dates in secluded parks and stolen moments in the pits during race weekends. It was far from ideal, but the thrill of sneaking around added an extra layer of excitement to our already intense connection.

However, despite our best efforts to keep our relationship under wraps, our secret was bound to be discovered eventually.

In the whirlwind of those two months, Lando inadvertently stumbled upon us once when we were cozying up in Carlos’s garage. Another time, Alexandra caught me with a lovesick smile on my face, gazing at my phone, and her curious nature made it impossible for me to keep our secret from her.

Lando couldn’t help but grin at the sight of us cuddled up together, but he was surprisingly supportive and promised to keep our secret under wraps.

Meanwhile, Alexandra sensed something was up when she saw me glued to my phone, and after some prodding, I couldn’t help but admit the truth. Like Lando, she offered her silent support and assured me she wouldn’t say a word to anyone and especially not to my brother.

But not everything lasted long... .

In the midst of a date with Carlos, we were blissfully unaware that a sneaky paparazzi had captured us in a moment of intimacy. The pictures quickly spread like wildfire on social media, and by the time we returned home, my phone was bombarded with text messages from Alexandra, Charles, and my two other brothers.

Alexandra’s message instructed me to check Instagram, and curiosity piqued, I opened the app, bracing myself for what I was about to see.

As I opened Instagram, my heart sank. There we were, captured in a moment of laughter and affection, clearly revealing our secret relationship for the world to see. I couldn’t help but feel a mix of shock, anxiety, and dread as I stared at the photos. I texted Carlos about it, knowing he still hasn't left from dropping me off and was probably still in his car.

f1gossippofficial

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f1gossippoffical NEW! Ferrari driver Carlos Sainz was spotted with a girl that appeared to be Y/N Leclerc, his teammate Charles Leclerc's younger sister. What do you think about this new couple?

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formulaoneracing_81: Damn what a way to start my day

carlossainz_lover: I will pretend like I didn't read this👩‍🦯

maybe_racer_for_rb: Nah man how can you date your teammates sister

mariah_piastri81_4ever: she doesn't deserve him 🤢

just_formulaone: Girl sit your ass down he doesn’t even know you 😒

layli16_nor416: Why are y'all always so involved in others love life? Let people date damn

leclerc_stappen1: For real leave that poor girl alone

no_none_sense14: Probably with him for his money 🙄

my4everredbull_drink: Oh yeah because her brother isn't also a rich formula one driver and she hasn't got her own successful boutique. Y'all just saying anything at this point ffs. 🤦‍♀️

Within minutes, Carlos made his way into my home, his expression mirroring the same shock and disbelief I felt. He saw the panic in my eyes and the phone trembling in my hand. Without a word, he pulled me into a tight embrace, his strong arms encircling me protectively.

He held me close, his chin resting gently on top of my head. "It’s going to be okay," he whispered, his voice soft and reassuring. "We’ll figure this out, together."

I buried my face against his chest, taking comfort in his presence. The weight of the realization that our secret was out now weighed heavy on both of our shoulders.

I took a shaky breath, my voice muffled against his shirt. "What are we going to do now? Everyone’s going to know, and I can only imagine what Charles is going to say."

Carlos tightened his grip around me, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles on my back. "I know it’s scary," he said, his voice steady. "But we’re in this together, remember? We’ll face whatever comes our way, as long as we’re together."

Since the photos had been released, Charles had been calling me nonstop, no doubt having seen the pictures for himself. I could see his name flashing on my phone, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. The thought of facing his disappointment and anger made me feel sick to my stomach.

As my phone rang again and his name appeared yet again, my heart raced with anxiety. Each time it vibrated on the table, it felt like a ticking time bomb, a reminder of the conversation I knew I had to face eventually.

But for now, I continued to ignore his calls, hoping to find some form of comfort in the silence. The weight of my guilt and fear felt suffocating, but I didn’t know how to face Charles and explain myself.

In the midst of all the chaos and confusion going on inside me, a text message from Alexandra flashed on my phone. I opened it and my eyes immediately widened.

As I read the text, I suddenly heard a crash, and the door to my room burst open, revealing an enraged Charles standing in the doorway.

His anger seethed through every pore, and his eyes burned with a mixture of shock and disappointment. It was clear he had seen the pictures, and his face was twisted into a scowl as he stormed towards me.

"How could you do this?" He thundered, his voice echoing through the room. "With Carlos, of all people?"

I recoiled at the harshness in his tone, feeling the weight of his disapproval bearing down on me. "Charles," I began, my voice shaky. "Please, let me explain—"

He cut me off, his anger not allowing him to listen. "Explain what? That you've been sneaking around with Carlos for months behind my back? And you never even thought to tell me?"

I struggled to find the words, the panic building inside me. "I didn’t mean for it to happen," I tried to explain. "It just...did. Carlos and I- we- we care about each other. It’s not some meaningless fling."

As Charles's anger escalated, Carlos stepped in between us, attempting to diffuse the situation. "Charles, calm down," he said firmly, his hand on my brother's chest. "Y/N and I have been seeing each other for a while now. We really care about each other."

"Are you serious?" Charles said, his voice low and dangerous. "You knew I didn't want you near her. She's off-limits, Carlos, and you knew that."

Carlos stood his ground, his arm still protectively around me. "I know what you said, but I couldn't help how I felt about her. Neither of us planned on falling for each other, but it happened."

Charles took a deep breath, his gaze switching between me and Carlos. "So how long has this been going on then?"

I fidgeted nervously, knowing that admitting the truth would only add more fuel to the fire. "Two months," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze. "We’ve been dating for two months."

Charles clenched his jaw, the revelation making his anger flare. "Two months," he repeated, his voice laced with frustration. "And you didn’t think to tell me? You kept this from me for months?"

Carlos interjected again, his voice firm but not confrontational. "We wanted to tell you, Charles, but we were worried about how you’d react. We knew you wouldn’t be happy about it."

Charles sneered at him, anger still bubbling just below the surface. "‘Not happy about it’?" he echoed. "You think that’s the only issue here? Carlos, I trusted you as my teammate, and she’s my sister. This is a double betrayal."

As Charles continued to rant, his anger growing with each word, I felt a surge of anger bubbling within me. The way he spoke about Carlos, as if he had zero right to have feelings for me, and the way he saw it as a betrayal, fueled my own anger. I stepped forward, determination in my eyes.

"Stop it, Charles," I snapped, my own voice rising. "You don’t get to dictate who I date or who I fall in love with. You don’t own me."

Charles raised an eyebrow, his anger still burning hot. "Really?" he retorted. "You’re going to talk to me like that? You’re my sister, and I have every right to have a say in who you’re seeing."

I clenched my fists, my own anger now exploding out of control. "No, you don’t," I shot back. "I’ve been trying to keep this secret out of respect for you, but you don’t get to control my love life. I’m not a kid anymore, Charles."

Charles and I continued to argue back and forth, our words becoming more heated and hurtful with each passing moment. My own anger and frustration mixed with a deep sense of sadness and hurt.

Eventually, the argument escalated to a boiling point, and Charles finally left the room, slamming the door behind him. I stood frozen for a moment, my chest heaving with emotion.

Carlos wrapped his arms around me, gently pulling me into his comforting embrace. Tears blurred my vision as I felt the weight of everything that had just happened wash over me.

"It's okay hermosa," he murmured, his voice gentle and calm. "I know that was difficult, but we'll get through this. I'm here for you, no matter what happens."

I felt helpless, Carlos words usually have a comforting effect on me but this time it didn't help. I was so hurt, it felt like I lost my best friend, my brother and all that was left was a broken bond between us.

As a week passed, the tension between Charles and me remained palpable. Every attempt I made to talk to him was met with a cold shoulder and an aloof attitude. The whole situation left me feeling defeated and hopeless.

Our mother, having learned about the situation, had been upset with Charles for his stubborn behavior, but he continued to stand his ground, claiming that I was in the wrong for not telling him about my relationship with Carlos.

My other brothers, Lorenzo and Arthur, had been initially shocked by the news about me and Carlos, but after talking and giving him the "brother talk" and witnessing his genuine care for me, they softened their stance and eventually accepted him into our family. Even Charles's girlfriend, Alexandra, had given Charles a harsh lecture, telling him how immature and childish he was being.

Now, our mother had invited me and Carlos to dinner with the rest of the family, including Charles. The thought of sitting in the same room with him made my stomach churn with anxiety.

As we arrived at my parental home, the atmosphere was thick with tension. Charles sat at the dining table, a defiant look on his face, completely avoiding any eye contact with me or Carlos.

During dinner, an uncomfortable silence had settled over the table. Everyone tried their best to make small talk and engage in casual conversation, but the tension between Charles and me was undeniable.

As the meal came to an end, my mother, as well as my other siblings and Carlos took notice of the strained atmosphere. A collective look of concern passed between them, and they silently came up with a plan to give me and Charles a chance to talk things out.

Our mother looked at Charles and me pointedly. "Looks like we have some dishes and clean-up to do, don't we Charles? You and Y/N can take care of that."

Arthur and Lorenzo exchanged sidelong glances, understanding our mother's plan to leave me and Charles alone. Carlos also knew that me and Charles had some things to solve so he joined the rest.

Charles's face contorted into a scowl as our mother's suggestion sank in. He protested loudly, clearly not wanting to be alone in a room with me.

"Maman, why do I need to do dishes with her?" he complained. "Can't someone else do it instead?"

Maman fixed him with one simple look, Charles huffed and rolled his eyes but knew better than to argue with our mother. He reluctantly got up from his chair and followed me to the kitchen, mumbling under his breath about how unfair it was.

As we stood side by side, silently loading dishes into the dishwasher, I finally found the courage to break the deafening silence that filled the room. I took a deep breath, my chest tightening with the weight of all the unsaid words.

"Charles," I began, my voice soft but firm. "Can we talk?"

Charles paused for a moment, his shoulders tensing at my words. He didn't reply right away, continuing to load the dishes, but I could see the internal struggle written on his face.

I steadied myself, knowing that this conversation was long overdue. "I want to talk about us," I started, my eyes still focused on the dishes. "About what's happened between us since I started dating Carlos."

Charles slammed a plate into the dishwasher, a sharp clatter echoing through the kitchen. "What's there to talk about?" he retorted. "You lied to me, betrayed me by sneaking around with Carlos, and then expected me to just accept it?"

I closed my eyes, my grip on the dish in my hand growing tighter. "I didn't lie to you, Charles," I responded, my voice trembling slightly. "And I didn't sneak around. Carlos and I care about each other, and we have for months. We just didn't tell you because we knew you would react like this."

Charles slammed the dishwasher shut, the noise echoing in the kitchen. "And you were right," he said, his voice laced with anger. "I did react like this because it's wrong, Y/N. You're my sister, and he's my friend and teammate. There are boundaries, and you crossed them."

I turned to face him, my own anger and hurt boiling inside me. "Boundaries? Or control?" I shot back, my voice rising. "Since when do you get to decide who I date and who I fall in love with?"

Charles stepped closer to me, his eyes flashing with anger. "I'm not trying to control you," he snapped. "I'm just trying to look out for you. Carlos is not the right choice, Y/N."

My words came tumbling out, anger fueling my speech. "Carlos is the one who's always been there for me when I needed him. He's the one who understands me better than anyone else, including you. He's the one who's cared for me, supported me, and showed me the depth of his love. So don't try to tell me that he's not right for me."

Charles listened in silence as I continued, my voice gaining strength. I listed all the little ways Carlos had shown his love and care for me, from the small gifts he'd given to the sacrifices he'd made. I described the moments of comfort and understanding he provided, and the genuine connection we shared.

With each passing moment, Charles's expression softened, his anger slowly being replaced by a hint of regret and realization. He listened intently as I spoke, absorbing every word and letting it sink in.

Charles's voice softened, a mixture of emotions playing across his face. "I just want the best for you," he said, his voice quieter now. "Ever since papa passed, I've felt like it's my responsibility to protect you. To look out for you and make sure you're safe and happy."

I felt a pang of sympathy and understanding for my brother, recognizing the sincerity behind his words.

"I understand that you want to protect me, Charles," I replied gently. "But protecting me doesn't mean controlling who I love. It means supporting me and trusting that I know what's best for myself."

Charles let out a deep sigh, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "I guess I just can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you," he admitted, his voice tinged with frustration and vulnerability.

"And I appreciate your concern, but Carlos isn't going to hurt me," I reassured him. "In fact, he's shown me nothing but love and loyalty. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to him."

Charles leaned against the counter, the tension in his shoulders visibly easing. "It's just hard for me to wrap my head around this," he confessed, his voice quieter now. "You're my sister, and I've always watched out for you. And now, suddenly there's this guy who has your heart, and I feel like I've lost you in some way."

I gently placed a hand on his arm, my tone soft and understanding. "You haven't lost me, Charles," I assured him. "I'm still the same person I've always been. Being with Carlos doesn't change that. If anything, it has made me grow and feel even more complete."

After a moment of thoughtful silence, Charles let out a deep sigh. He turned to face me, his expression a mix of acceptance and resignation.

"You know, I don't have to like it, but I guess I can't stop you from loving whoever you want," he said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He reached out and pulled me into a tight hug. "Just promise me you'll be careful, okay? And if he hurts you, I swear I'll kick his ass."

I smiled, my heart feeling lighter as I hugged him back. "I promise, I'll be careful," I assured him. "And don't worry, I don't think Carlos has any plans to hurt me, also since Lorenzo and Arthur had that talk with him already."

Just then, the sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Carlos appeared in the doorway, a curious look on his face.

Charles broke the hug, his expression turning serious. He turned to face Carlos with a scowl, and for a moment, I thought he was going to go back to his protective older brother mode. But instead, he surprised both me and Carlos.

"Alright, Carlos," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "We need to have a little talk."

Carlos exchanged a glance with me, his expression a mix of confusion and slight concern. "Uh, sure," he replied, cautiously walking towards us.

Charles crossed his arms, looking Carlos up and down. "I just want to make one thing clear," he began, his voice stern. "If you hurt my sister in any way, I will make your life miserable. Do you understand me?"

Carlos chuckled nervously, his hands raised in a surrendering gesture. "Yeah, yeah, I hear you loud and clear," he said, his smile strained. "I have no intention of hurting her. I care about her deeply."

Charles let out a stifled laugh, breaking the serious facade for a moment. "Relax, man," he said, patting Carlos on the back. "Just wanted to make sure you got the message."

Carlos relaxed, letting out a nervous chuckle. "I got it, loud and clear."

Charles, feeling satisfied with his conversation with Carlos, excused himself from the kitchen, leaving us alone.

As the door closed behind him, the room fell into a comfortable silence. I turned to face Carlos, a soft smile playing on my lips.

"Well, that was quite a scene," I teased, moving closer to him. "I can't believe my brother just gave you the brother talk."

Carlos chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. "Yeah, I was half expecting him to threaten me with his hockey stick or something," he joked, a playful grin on his face.

I laughed, resting my head against his chest. "Thankfully, he didn't go that far," I mused, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. "But I think he's finally starting to realize that we're serious about each other."

"I think he got the message," Carlos agreed, tightening his grip on me. "He's just protective because he cares about you."

Carlos and I stood there in the kitchen, wrapped in each other's arms, enjoying the quiet intimacy of the moment. Without a word, he gently lifted my chin, his gaze locking onto mine.

His hand gently traced the contour of my face, his touch sending shivers down my spine. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he leaned closer, his breath caressing my skin.

Slowly, his lips found mine in a tender kiss, his lips moving against mine with a sweet, familiar rhythm. His arms enveloped me fully, pulling me flush against his body, as if trying to merge us into one.

Just as we were fully engrossed in the tender moment, the door swung open with a bang, and Charles burst into the room, a mock scowl on his face.

"Hey! No PDA, you two! At least not when I'm present." he exclaimed, attempting to sound strict with his disgusted face.

I rolled my eyes at him. Soon maman entered the room just in time to witness Charles' dramatic entrance. She gave him a disapproving look and promptly grabbed him by the ear, scolding him in a playful manner.

"Charles, what did I tell you about interrupting?" she scolded, tugging on his ear. "Give them some space!"

Charles winced, his face contorting in a mixture of pain and embarrassment. "Ow! Maman, come on!" he protested, trying to wriggle out of her grip. "I was just messing around!"

As Charles was dragged out of the room, still protesting and rubbing his sore ear, Carlos and I shared a laugh at his expense.

Once we composed ourselves, Carlos turned back to me, an affectionate smile playing on his lips. "So, where were we?" he asked, his hands finding my waist again.

I melted into his touch, our laughter subsiding as the mood grew warmer once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck, our bodies now pressed close together.

"Right here," I murmured, my voice soft and intimate. "Exactly where we should be."

With our bodies pressed together and our hearts beating in unison, our eyes met. A soft smile tugged at the corners of my lips, and the words spilled from my mouth in a gentle whisper.

"I love you," I said, my voice filled with sincerity and warmth.

Carlos' eyes lit up as he heard my confession, a warm smile stretching across his face. He caressed my cheek gently, his touch sending shivers down my spine.

"I love you too mi amor," he replied, his voice filled with tenderness and conviction. "More than you know."

After all what happened we continued our whirlwind romance without a care in the world. Sure, Charles would occasionally play the part of a protective brother and make sarcastic comments about us being "disgustingly cute," but deep down, we knew he just wanted us to be happy.

And no matter how many times he barged in on us when we had some alone time, or how frequently he made fun of us for being cheesy, I wouldn't trade our love for anything in the world.

yourusername posted on instagram!

Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and others

yourusername Date with mi amor

View all comments

carlossainz55: Mon amour

yourusername: Te amo

charles_leclerc: Get this off my feed

yourusername: Scroll you imbécile alexandrasaintmleux: Behave Charles charles_leclerc: 😔

arthur_leclerc: Disgustingly cute 🤢

yourusername: All I see is jealousy

alexandrasaintmleux: So so cute 🤍

yourusername: Big kiss for you 🫶

f1_chns_81: Quick everybody act surprised!

ham81lewicar: We should've known by the amount of times Carlos was under her post

chrl_lewis_merc: I really want to know what Charles reaction was after finding out

ff_love_rb: For real. I would pay to be a fly on their wall to know what happened

carlossainz55 posted on Instagram!

Liked by yourusername, landonorris and others

carlossainz55 Now she's more at my side of the garage. I won 🙌

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yourusername: Je t’aime amour ❤️ by author

charles_leclerc: You're lucky I'm in a different country right now.

landonorris: Now I can finally brag that I was the first one that knew

charles_leclerc: HE KNEW???!!! yourusername: No comment.

waghouse_f1: They're so cute omg

carlosxosc_lover: I'm just here for the Charles and Carlos beef

bb_f1_lover: Same hana_formula1_news: Same verstappen4ever1: Same lestappen_united: Same landonorris: Same charles_leclerc: @landonorris ???

The end

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helslastangel · 2 days

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Sun & Moon Observations

Original individual posts combined into this single post. Based on personal interpretation.

If it doesn't apply, LET IT FLY. Enjoy.

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Aries Sun

When your self-esteem is low, you get into competition with others. Their accomplishments feel like personal attacks even though you know they're not. You wish you could feel secure in just "being" rather than only after achieving something.

Lady Gaga has Sun in Aries

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Aries Moon

You compete with yourself when your self-esteem is low. It's hard for you to see the true value of all the things you've done before, even though it's obvious to everyone else. You wish you could motivate yourself more by what others are doing rather than feeling unsatisfied with all your own wins.

Angelina Jolie has Moon in Aries

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Taurus Sun

When feeling unaccomplished, you seek to accumulate wealth and opportunities for others, extending yourself outward to support those within your network. You often wish others would look out for you in the same way though.

Adele has Sun in Taurus

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Taurus Moon

You seek opportunities and resources for yourself when feeling unaccomplished, drawing inspiration and support from those in your community and network. You wish to reach a place where you feel successful enough to do the same for others.

Danai Gurira has Moon in Taurus

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Gemini Sun

When feeling bored, you seek out new places and people, moving on from those you've seen and heard everything about before. Sometimes you wish you didn't have to be the one to do all the searching, and that others would find you from time to time.

Marilyn Monroe had Sun in Gemini

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Gemini Moon

You try to escape your own mind when feeling bored, leaning on others to entertain and distract you from yourself. You often wish you could find your own persona as interesting as you do others, and might slightly envy people who seem to be perfectly happy and content to spend days or weeks in their own company, entirely in their heads.

Rachel McAdams has Moon in Gemini

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Cancer Sun

When feeling unsafe, you reach out to loved ones and try to protect and nurture them, while wishing to be protected and cared for yourself.

Missy Elliot has Sun in Cancer

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Cancer Moon

You turn inwards to protect yourself when feeling unsafe, nurturing your own emotions while wishing you could still be there for others.

Mariah Carey has Moon in Cancer

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Leo Sun

When feeling insecure, you go out and try to make others laugh and feel happy, though you wish someone would entertain and cheer you up too.

Halle Berry has Sun in Leo

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Leo Moon

You stay in and entertain yourself when feeling insecure, feeding your soul though wishing you could still make others smile at the same time.

Queen Latifah has Moon in Leo

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Virgo Sun

When feeling useless, you try to be helpful and supportive to others, improving their lives where you can. But you wish someone would help you sometimes too.

Zendaya has Sun in Virgo

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Virgo Moon

You turn inward and focus on your growth when feeling useless, learning more to improve your life. But you wish you could be more helpful to others.

Angela Bassett has Moon in Virgo

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Libra Sun

To feel at peace, you play the referee for others and try to mend the troubles between them. Though sometimes you wish that someone would check in and offer to help you resolve the wars going on in your own life and mind.

Cardi B has Sun in Libra

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Libra Moon

You play the referee in your own mind when you need to feel at peace, sorting through your thoughts to come to a resolution. Though you wish that you had the capacity to look out for yourself and still be the #1 mediator for others.

Anna Kendrick has Moon in Libra

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Scorpio Sun

When you feel like you need a change, you seek to learn more about others, uncovering their hidden sides and deepest feelings. Part of you wishes others found you as interesting as you find them.

Tracee Ellis Ross has Sun in Scorpio

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Scorpio Moon

You dig deeper into your own mind when you need a change, seeking to discover the parts of yourself that you haven't gotten to know yet. Part of you wishes you could find others more interesting than your own thoughts.

Mila Kunis has Moon in Scorpio

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Sagittarius Sun

You retreat from friends and loved ones when feeling confined, seeking to spend time alone but wishing you knew how to stick around for others through overwhelming emotions.

Zoë Kravitz has Sun in Sagittarius

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Sagittarius Moon

When feeling confined, you retreat from yourself and seek out the company of others, though you wish it was easy for you to sit with yourself and process your emotions.

Zoe Saldana has Moon in Sagittarius

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Capricorn Sun

When feeling unstable, you shut others out and focus inward; preferring to simply go it alone and not bother or inconvenience everyone. Part of you wishes others would see past this façade and stay by your side anyway.

Ryan Destiny has Sun in Capricorn

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Capricorn Moon

You shut yourself out wheh feeling unstable, focusing on everyone else and their needs instead. Part of you wishes you could be free and let it all hang out like everyone else, without being abandoned for it.

Lena Headey has Moon in Capricorn

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Aquarius Sun

When you feel restless, you go out and seek to reinvent others, whether by transforming the way they look and express themselves, or by reforming the way they think. Secretly, you wish someone would bring fresh perspectives to you.

Megan Thee Stallion has Sun in Aquarius

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Aquarius Moon

You reinvent yourself whenever you feel restless, disappearing for a while and returning with a whole new look, philosophy, or general approach toward life. Secretly, you wish you could inject new perspectives into those who need them.

Billie Eilish has Moon in Aquarius

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Pisces Sun

When you're hurting, you reach out to others and try to heal their wounds, preferring to focus on helping others than trying to help yourself. Secretly, you wish someone would come along to heal you.

Rihanna has Sun in Pisces

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Pisces Moon

You focus on your healing when you feel hurt, preferring to shut others out so your soul can rest and recover without repeated interrupting. Secretly, you wish you could hold space for both yourself and everyone else.

Audrey Hepburn has Moon in Pisces

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↤ go back to the masterlist

#astrology observations #sun signs #moon signs #astrology #astrology signs #astro observations #astrology tumblr #astro notes #astrology blog #astro posts

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coca-lastic · 2 days

Text

5 Green flags 🟩 VS 5 Red Flags 🟥

I'M BACK 👹

Well well, My last post about Keigo have lots of support from you all, and like I said, I'm willing to do a part 2 about Bakugo Katsuki sooo, here I am.

Tell me if you want a part 3 and which character you would like.

Let's start with his red flags. Let's be clear that Katsuki does have a few, it's true that it's nice to imagine him as an attentive boyfriend who takes the initiative, and I firmly believe that he would be like that, but that shouldn't hide the little things he has that can get on your nerves at the time of a fight.

Now, let's start listing his bad things:

1. He acts like you're a burden: I don't think he would do this on purpose, but he would. Comments like "What the fuck do you want now?", "Stop bothering me", "You're too intense", "Will you shut up?" can come up at the beginning of the relationship. Even to the point that you feel bad about his independent actions, as if you were just another thing on his list. Of course, deep down he doesn't consider you a burden, but he expresses himself as if you were one.

2. He doesn't open up to you: Katsuki has this constant thought that he can't be inferior, that he has to be the best and his feelings can be a difficult thing, and I think that in a relationship he feels a lot more pressure about all this to be strong and show you how tough he is. So I think that for a long time he won't tell you if something is wrong with him even if it's clear that something is wrong with him. This could just be something normal, but I add it as a red flag since a large part of Katsuki's life is clouded by those insecurities, so he doesn't tell you how he feels every time he sees Deku, or how he was in training, or how he felt when he won something, because if he does, his facade will fall apart. This ends up being something that can affect the communication between you two.

3. He doesn't understand you: He tries, he really does, but he just has a hard time understanding when you feel bad. He's so used to minimizing what's happening to him that he doesn't understand why it affects you so much. So you might be crying in his arms, and he might be hugging you, but deep down he doesn't understand, and that's terrible in arguments, because he doesn't understand why you're angry or why you're sad or why you're disappointed, he tries to fix it but he doesn't understand the roots of the problem.

4. He's jealous: Like, not jealous to get insecure when he sees you with a friend, jealous to get furious when he sees you with another man. And that, OBVIOUSLY, brings problems. He trusts you, he doesn't trust them, he knows you're hot and he also knows that the other jerks know it. So don't doubt that he's going to complain to you repeatedly that a certain person shouldn't be so close to you, or that he doesn't get along very well with a certain friend.

5. His anger: In the anime we can already see that he is a little bit... impatient. He tries to control himself with you, he truly loves you and treats you with his best version, but there are times when you simply act in a bad way, I mean, you also have your red flags, and that makes him angry, and you too, then you fight. A lot. For a long time. A lot of yelling. And probably a lot of painful words that he doesn't really feel, but says them, because his fury is faster to speak than to think, analyze and meditate.

Now, like every person, he has his flaws and his virtues. He has things to improve and things that you should love, because they are incredible.

So let's see what those good sides are and let's see which side of his personality ends up winning, let's see the second side of his furious personality.

1. He doesn't talk, he acts: Maybe he doesn't open up to you as much as he should, but he decides to make you feel comfortable by letting you know that he loves you through more practical methods. Are you hungry? He cooks, are you sick? He takes care of you, do you want a snack? He buys it. Because actions are worth more than words, so he decides to act, he decides to give you what you want, and consider yourself lucky because you are the only one who sees his helpful side.

2. He puts you first: If his friends invited him out to eat something, he won't care if you sent him a text telling him to go with you to buy something. If his mother told him she was going to celebrate a birthday with the family, he'll run away because you asked him to bring you some chocolates. Because he knows that if you love someone, you're not going to replace them with the smallest things, so if he has to make a decision that involves you, you'll always be the right answer.

3. He is not ashamed to show you off, he loves to do it: You are also part of his achievements, and being the show-off that he is, he will show you off. God, he has a sexy, smart, strong, kind and hot girlfriend, he has to show you and show them that you two are together, that he is a lucky and happy man.

4. He knows you: I think this is important, but not all men do it, in fact those who do are very few. Because not all of them observe you, remember, learn and please you, but Katsuki does. He is observant and knows how to listen, maybe he doesn't understand perfectly why you feel so much, why you get excited and sad about small things, but he knows that you do it, he knows how you feel, he knows how you reacts, he knows what you like and how he knows you, he knows how to please you, he knows how to make you happy with a gift, he knows how to excite you, he knows how to make you laugh and he knows how to make you feel loved.

5. You're part of his future: If he sees himself as a great hero, he sees you by his side, making and fulfilling your dream. Holding your hand. Kissing you. Hugging you. Caressing you. That's what he sees. Maybe two house, or a single one, whatever you want, maybe 2 children, or maybe none, just a pet, maybe a red car, or maybe a black car, but within all those variables there is one constant: you.

Sorry, this doesn't match your way of seeing Katsuki. Remember that he is still a character that each one sees and imagines in their own way, but I try to do it in a way that everyone feels comfortable.

Now, did the 🟩 flags or the 🟥 flags win?

#x reader #bakugo katauki #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugo x reader fluff #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #katsuki x you #katsuki x reader #bnha x reader

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hwnglx · 2 days

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slay mama 💅🏻

karina's reputation among idols

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

female idols

karina is seen as an idol with a lot of energy, who gets things done quickly. like she isn't the type to be lazy, too comfortable or boring at all. there's this fast-paced “okay, let's get this done!” vibe to her. very passionate, fast-moving and enthusiastic. also very talkative. like this girl will voice her opinion, no doubt about it. this is understandable due to her leader position, but i can see her being the voice of the group, even amidst other idols. she speaks up for the group, takes matters into her own hands. i keep seeing her standing in front of her members, almost like this big sister you need to get past before you get to the rest of the group.

her reputation among female idols, seems very good. she's beautiful, and has a powerful and strong presence in their eyes. like if karina enters the room, you can't help but notice her. she turns heads and attracts a lot of attention. they think she's this very confident, self-assured and independent woman who knows exactly what she wants, a lot of assertive and dominant energy in her. she's also very supportive, caring and nurturing in their eyes. like she looks after the people she's with in this gentle and courteous manner. in their eyes, she displays a person who balances her fiery and passionate, but soft and feminine energy in a very pleasant way. i can see many female idols just truly liking being around her, she has this warm energy where she just makes you feel invited, welcomed and taken care of. she radiates and spreads a lot of positive vibes, and draws people in with her natural charisma.

many female idols also have the desire to work or collaborate with her. they think she has a lot of profitability, and very universally likeable and commercial appeal that brings in a big audience. honestly, the big picture here is, that they just view her as a person who has it all. very well-rounded idol who gives off the impression that she was made for this job, but is also a commendable and delightful person to be around.

male idols

male idols join the female idols in thinking karina is very opinionated. there is a bit more of a bitter undertone here though, where it seems to intimidate them. they believe she will definitely not miss a chance to speak her mind, and defend herself or the people around her if the situation asks for it. there seems to be this reputation of her debating a lot. not just for herself, but especially when it comes to the people she cares about. let's say there's a bunch of people in a room and you find yourself in a conflict with someone who ends up as the underdog, best believe karina will be the one standing by their side till the very end. like literally take them under her wing, speak up and argue for them. i can sense male idols just thinking she is not to be messed with.

some male idols also might believe that she's likely to hide a lot of her even more aggressive and egoistical sides beneath a mask, and exactly knows what to do in order to get people on her side. like she's aware of what she needs to do to fool people into liking her. uses her charm to get what she wants, and is very calculated and deceptive. i can sense them thinking she's already a lot to deal with in their eyes, and must be even “worse” behind closed doors. tbh, she just seems like a girl's girl. i can see her fiercely standing behind her women, not being intimidated by the men at all, and the men being rubbed the wrong way about it. like “how dare she talk to us that way?” (telling you all these male idols are too used to women subsiding to them smh..)

there also seems to be a lot of gossip when it comes to her dating life. male idols think she juggles all these options, but doesn't give in to any of them. they think she likes the attention and validation from it, and just plays them all to fondle her ego. (i see this being more of a delusion though, many of them just want to believe they're an option. i don't see her engaging with them much)

there is a lot of wishful thinking and longing to get with her on many idols' side, however it mostly remains as a fantasy in their heads. it just stays as this burden on their back. they can't actually approach her comfortably, because they feel like they're unlikely to succeed anyway. they'd just be another failed try in her list of rejected admirers. ego plays a big role in here as well. it's giving.. “if i get to be with her, then that'd make me the guy who stood out.” however being rejected by her, scratches their ego twice as much. so they just stay put. basically, karina has these men at the palm of her hands.

#kpop tarot #aespa tarot #her energy is crazy strong

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prinzrupprecht · 1 day

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When someone else gives you gifts

Featuring: Susano’o, Hades, Buddha, Poseidon ( part 2 )

I forgot Hades and swapped Anubis out. I had to take Loki out since this was gonna be too long. Part 3 will have Loki and Anubis in it.

TW: same as part 1. Some will be Yandere or possessive

Susano’o

You were another deity of the Shinto pantheon during ancient Japan. You found the sword god amusing and fascinating with the art of the sword to a point you wanted to get to know him more.

He was kind, silly, and serious when he had to be if demons were threatening humans, he would be there to stop them. He loved humans and that is what made you admire him more. He liked you as well and wanted your company during his travels as governor of the lands.

Being his, came with perks and cons. You were allowed to travel with him and be his support. The cons normally are the women who fawned over him when he killed monsters. You were jealous and insecure if he would leave you for a human but that wasn’t possible… was it? Could he sense your moods whenever they approach him?

You could tell how naive he was when they pretended to be interested in his sword. You quickly scurried off to find some fresh air but got lost in the village until you bumped into someone. “So— Sorry!” You bowed your head without seeing who you rammed into. It was a young man who waved his hand across their face. You shouldn’t be talking to him but guilt washes over you.

“Don’t be! You look incredibly cold wearing this. Here, here come inside.” He ushered you into his home which you tried to say you were fine and that you weren’t cold. It was a lie. You were cold and goosebumps were forming on your skin.

“It doesn’t appear that you’re fine.” He grabbed one of his extra long-sleeved jackets which were called a haori. He tried to give you it so you wouldn’t freeze. You tried to reject such things and remembered Susano’o telling you that humans care for one another. So it was common for them to help others.

After some time reluctantly rejecting the haori, you took it and thanked the man before putting it over your shoulders. Susano’o must be worried about you since you’ve been gone for some time. After rushing off with the plain haori over your shoulders.

You found him near a pond cleaning his sword. “Oh you’re back, I was going to find you— that is new.” He turned his head and stopped mid-sentence to admire the haori that you were wearing. You hugged your arms and this made Susano’o frown. You were cold?

“Sorry, someone gave it to me and said it’s to keep me warm,” you looked away with a slight blush forming on your cheeks.

He walked over to you and pulled you in his arms. “Oh? You could’ve asked me to heat you up if you were cold.” His arms were already wrapped around your body. He was thankful someone wanted to take care of you but he was there for that. He would take care of your needs. You were embarrassed but he was offering and you couldn’t say no to that.

Hades

Hades is an amazing king and you were his as he was yours. Ever since he saved you from multiple titans wreaking havoc in Helheim, you wanted to stay by his side forever. You constantly looked up to him. Helheim was in a terrible condition before he took over as a ruler and king. You were treated with respect and you showed him respect back.

You were in the library of Hades castle researching about demons that dwell in Helheim. Hades didn’t like you leaving the castle without him or one of the guards with you. Even though you were not weak and were strong yourself, he wanted to take extra precautions in case you ran into something stronger.

“Where is Hades?” A voice broke through the quiet room and an unfamiliar figure stood near the entrance. You looked up to see a young man with black hair who you’d assume was named Beelzebub. Hades told you about him.

Beelzebub was a strange man but you didn’t judge him nor wanted to get close to him. Hades warned you about him even told you his past and to not ever bring it up to him. He was someone to not trust at all.

“If he’s not here then he’s probably with his brothers,” you responded nonchalantly. The truth was he didn’t always tell you if he was leaving the castle for a bit. Beelzebub stood around for a brief moment before pulling something from his pocket.

“You’re researching devils?” He asked but before you could answer him, your eyes cautiously watched whatever he was doing. He was quiet and had ulterior motives. You didn’t respond and hoped he’d leave you alone. Yet what surprised you was the fact he put an ornament next to you. Or was it an amulet? It had a long chain to it and as you were going to ask him what it was, he had already turned to leave the room.

“I’d like to see how you can kill me next time we meet,” a smirk was dancing on his lips and he was already gone. You looked at the amulet and decided it would be best to ask Hades what it was. What a weird guy…

As time passed on as you waited for him to return you kept the amulet in your hand as a fidget toy. The door opened but you didn’t turn to look at who it was. “Waiting for me?” His voice made your head snap to see him dressed in his usual attire. He looked handsome as usual as you ran up to him. You didn’t realize you still had the chained object in your hand. Hades noticed right off the bat and immediately went to grab your hand and toss the amulet across the room.

“Beelzebub was looking for me was he?" Hades still held both of your wrists but he was more mad at himself for leaving you here alone. You slowly nodded but his expression changed to more of a serious one. Beelzebub was a cunning man with his experiments.

Hades would be dammed if something happened to you and if you were a target to Beelzebub’s sick games, he would put an end to that man. There would’ve been a reason why he gave you such a deadly weapon and he didn’t want to say what it was. He was just glad you were safe and now knows to take you with him the next time he has to leave the castle.

Buddha

He’s normally the one to offer you stuff— treats, food, and sweet drinks. You declined his offers every time. The man was always so full of himself which made you not want to get involved with someone like him who has a following. The Buddha was living for himself, obtained enlightenment and ascended to godhood. Buddha thought you were a boring human at first glance but you caught his attention when you constantly rejected things from him. Yet you’d accept gifts and necessities from others— but not him?

Was it a game for him? He felt insulted but his ego tells him to get over it. This wasn’t something he should care for. He lives freely and loves how crowds of people would surround him.

He snapped one day seeing how you casually accepted apples from one of the farmers. Buddha was frowning with displeasure at the sight, but it wouldn’t stop him from trying to get your attention somehow. He denied it in his head that he was spying on you. He has everything he could wish for but seeing how happy you were accepting things from others but not him, displeased him somehow.

When he finally saw you were alone picking flowers in your garden. Your space. You didn’t like others would invade your alone time. “It seems that I came at a perfect time, what are these?” he went to pick up one of the flowers but you stopped him by swatting his hand. He pouted while taking another one of his candies out and popping it in his mouth.

“Perfect time for you to leave, yes?” You tilted your head and saw his expressionless face at how careless you were around him. This is what drew him to you, to begin with. You say what you want to say to him and reject his flirtatious advances and offerings.

“Aw don’t be like that,” he pouted and then gave you a nickname that you loathed. “Why don’t you accept things I give you anyway?” He sat down next to you.

You didn’t know how to answer that. You turned your head stubbornly. “Maybe I just don’t like accepting things so casually—"

“You accepted apples from some farmer earlier eh, so did you offer anything in return?“ he was causing your face to burn up but you pushed yourself away from him even more considering how close he was trying to get between you two. Was he trying to get under your skin?!

“Th— That’s different! You’re just annoying agh!” You clutched your head. Could you stand being around him any longer but this made him laugh uncontrollably. Huh?

“See I like your honesty! Why don’t you get to know me more and see if you change your opinion about me? To start off take these and cool your head a bit.” He handed you his basket full of grapes. You sighed, it seemed impossible to ever be free from him so why not? Maybe you’ll grow onto him just like how he is a thorn in your side.

Poseidon

Poseidon was generally a quiet apathetic guy. On the outside, you could tell he either doesn’t care about your existence or you’re just dirt for him to walk on. However, none of that was true. You were special to him like his brothers are even if he doesn’t show it, his love language was different and more on the possessive side. He was king of the sea and extremely strong.

Whenever he calls himself the perfect being and that gods don’t need help. You on the other hand we’re cautious of him at first but he recognized your strength and viewed you as strong which surprised you. He rarely talks but his compliment took you off guard. “Strong? Not at all, I don’t want help from others. It’s selfish, but I don’t want others to get hurt because of me.” He thought your response was stupid.

His cold exterior made you shudder under his gaze. He raised his left hand and you thought he was going to hit you so you turned your head. His hand softly touched your cheek. “You think I’d harm you?” He rubbed his thumb over your face. It deeply bothered him you still had no trust in him. Even though he believes that gods don’t help each other. He still very loved your comfort during some of the hardest times. You never needed help or asked for it. He viewed you as different and not one of those bottom-feeder gods.

You never disobeyed him and felt more relieved how he treated you with respect. Also, he claimed you as his alone. You've never seen him with other women so you may be right to assume you were his consort— despite not married. Other men get scared off whenever they approach you and he was nearby watching.

Going as far one of them had tried to give you a dazzling pearl necklace in an attempt to sway you. They were unaware how you were already taken even if Poseidon never said the words, it deeply infuriated him. Pearls? From his sea? He could give you better. “Take it off,” he demanded while holding himself back from ripping the necklace off your neck completely. You don’t hesitate to remove it but he took the pearled necklace from your hand and snapped it in two.

“Was that necessary?” You were shocked by his jealousy. Was he afraid you would betray him? Your loyalty was to him only. The gift wasn’t anything special.

“Yes.” He pushed passed you to grab something from his top shelf before walking back to you and standing a few centimetres apart. He grabbed your arm and put something cold around your wrist. You took a look at what he put on you and covered your mouth. A sea-charmed bracelet with clams and other small sea-shaped mammals made of gold and silver.

Poseidon watched your reaction and it was pleasing to see that you liked it. Hades was the one who told him to impress you with what girls normally would like— jewelry. “Thanks, I— I don’t know what to say…” you quietly muttered. Poseidon never was mean to you but whenever he showed his possessive side it would sometimes scare you.

“Nothing. Just accept it.” He was itching to hold you close to him in that moment but what stopped him was his pride. You put your arms around him— which normally anyone would be dead in that moment. He allowed it and slowly his arms wrapped around your body. He deeply cared for you and you knew that. You were his as he was yours.

Note: I have no idea how I feel with part 2. Hades and Buddha parts feels whack and Poseidon and Susano’o feels on point. Which is the weird thing…

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writteninlunarlight-years · 2 days

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Please Don't Prove I'm Right

Lucifer x Reader

This is based on the song Please Please Please (Epic Version) - by Morgan Clae. I haven't written in a long time; my mental health has taken a significant toll not too long ago. I have been going to some consistent therapy as well as taking things slowly on my own terms. I thank my support and followers right next to me as I recover. The banners are all from @venomhound. Please reach out to them for some excellent help with the Tumblr blog. They have been a big help to me. @literallurker is their main account. Thank you everyone for bearing with me. You are all amazing. My moons~

TW: AFAB Reader, Hurt, Graphic Details of Harm, Religious Truama's, Yandere Reader for a moment

In the beginning, heaven was a breathtaking expanse of glistening white, where clouds floated like soft pillows in an endless sky. The angels above drifted gracefully among them, their laughter echoing with pure joy, and the air held an ethereal light that felt almost alive. It was a realm of boundless beauty reserved solely for God’s beloved.

But everything changed when Lucifer, once the most cherished of all angels, was cast down. The pristine clouds darkened, their softness replaced by a bitter heaviness that weighed down the heavens. The once-gleaming landscape morphed into a realm of towering structures and watchful exorcists. The loss was palpable, as if the heavens themselves mourned the fall of its brightest star.

When you first encountered Lucifer, you were just a baby angel, a mere child of the heavens. You were newly formed, wide-eyed, and full of wonder, destined to guide the three humans wandering in the paradise of Eden. You felt an unshakeable bond with him—a connection transcending mere friendship. He was your sun, your air, the essence of your existence in this perfect world.

Lucifer was intoxicatingly brilliant, his spirit igniting something that felt sinful within you. Yet, whispers of his rumored affections for a human stirred around you. It was said that he had fallen for one of them—impossible, you thought. God’s favorite should follow divine order, untouched by earthly desires, especially for a mortal once destined for Adam and soon rejected.

As you flitted anxiously through the heavens, awaiting his return, you could feel the eyes of the other angels upon you, judgment simmering in their stares. Sera, a newly appointed Seraphim, approached her voice a gentle choir against your rummaging thoughts.

“Y/N, you seem troubled. Is everything all right?” Her youthful features were unmarred by the weight of time, yet you could sense the unspoken warnings in her tone.

“I’m just waiting for Lucifer,” you replied, forcing a smile. “He’s never taken this long before.”

You could hear the skepticism in her voice before you even looked up. “Y/N, he’s trouble. He doesn’t see you the way he sees that woman. His heart is blind to your devotion, lost to her instead.”

Each word struck like a dagger, stinging your eyes with tears. “No, Sera. He cares for me. He tells me everything about his adventures in Eden. He will come back for me.” Your voice trembled with hope and desperation as if your sadness could summon him.

Just then, like a flash of lightning, Lucifer burst through the gates, the embodiment of energy and life. He swooped down, wrapping you in a joyous embrace, spinning you through the clouds, laughter spilling from his lips like music. You could feel Sera’s disdain radiating from behind, but you didn’t care. In that moment, you were weightless, untouchable...his.

In an instant, he whisked you away to a secluded corner of heaven, where you could gaze down upon Eden. Confusion washed over you as you settled on a fluffy cloud, watching him pace with uncontainable excitement, his wings shimmering behind him. He was always so proud of his beautiful wings.

“Y/N! I’ve discovered how to make Father recognize the humans as equals!” he declared, his eyes alight with excitement.

“Why would you want that?” you asked, a knot tightening in your chest. “We’re different for a reason. We’re not meant to be like them.”

His face fell as he paused, the thrill evaporating. “I need them to be seen as equals so I can bring them to heaven with us! Don’t you remember everything I’ve shared? All the dreams I have?”

The ache in your heart deepened. You wanted to forget, to lose yourself in his bright hair and vibrant blue eyes, but the thought of Adam, Eve, and Lilith standing beside you twisted like a knife, no, not beside you...beside him. Two perfect couples, it seemed.

“Of course, I remember,” you said, forcing a smile. “Please, continue.” But inside, a storm raged between your heart and mind.

What if you could just keep him for yourself? What if you shattered his wings, leaving him grounded and broken? What if you descended into the chaos below and extinguished Lilith’s light? What if you bound him to your will, claiming him as your own?

In that moment, you felt the weight of your thoughts, and the realization stung sharper than any blade. He was meant for her, not for you. There is no way when he spoke of you to her, if he did that, she had these thoughts...were you even an angel?

A chill ran down your spine as these dark fantasies engulfed your mind, each thought more treacherous than the last. You gasped, the air thick with dread, realizing you were still with Lucifer, his presence a paradox of comfort and ongoing torment.

He rushed to you, his fingers brushing your cheek with a heavenly and cruel tenderness. His soothing yet distant voice echoed in your ears as a haunting melody. He was perfection incarnate, and you couldn’t fathom why those mere mortals deserved even a fraction of his devotion. You were willing to sin to keep him all to yourself...

After countless attempts to gain your attention, he realized it was futile. With a gentle sweep, he lifted you into the air, his wings unfurling majestically as he flew you to your resting zone—a serene haven that now felt like a ticking clock counting down to your last moment of peace.

If only you had known this would be your final day in his embrace, perhaps you would have listened more intently, held him tighter against the wind, and begged him to affirm that your bond was real—that his heart belonged to you, not to that woman on the surface.

But morning shattered the tranquility, a sudden onslaught of light and chaos. Angels gathered, their faces a storm of judgment as Lucifer stood before them, shackled and tormented, bound to that woman from below.

Tears blurred your vision as the reality of betrayal washed over you. He had chosen her, and in a cruel twist of fate, you were forced to witness your shame laid bare before God and all the Angels you shared home with.

Then came the searing pain—the molten metal of chains biting into your neck and wrists, dragging you toward the center of the circle of wrath. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you locked eyes with Sera, whose disdainful glance pierced through your confusion like a dagger.

“Y/N, DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’VE BEEN SUMMONED HERE WITH THESE TWO TRAITORS?” The voice boomed, a thunderous echo that reverberated through your very essence. You looked past Sera to see Him—the man the Archangels called Father, his presence both majestic and terrifying. With a shaky breath, you swallowed your fear and shook your head.

“No, Father, I don’t understand. Why am I being punished?” Each word felt like a desperate plea, even as the burning sensation clawed at your skin, choking you of your right to breathe.

“Father, please! Y/N is innocent! She knew nothing of my plans; she was ill when I confided in her last night!” Lucifer’s voice, once a safe haven for your soul, now felt like salt in an open wound. The sincerity in his plea twisted your heart, revealing the depths of betrayal you had yet to fully grasp.

“Silence, Lucifer, for God speaks! The matter at hand isn’t who has wronged whom but that this angel knew of your treachery and chose to remain silent!” Your world crumbled hearing Sera’s voice. You were to fall alongside those who had deceived you, tethered to the very man who had strung you along with promises and soft whispers late in the night, now choosing to partake in those nights with Lilith instead.

“FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT, Y/N, YOU WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THE SPACE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH. YOU WILL DETERMINE THE FATE OF SOULS, FOR YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO WALK AMONG BOTH SIDES! YOU WILL FACE ETERNAL LONELINESS AND ISOLATION FOR YOUR TRANGRESSIONS UPON HEAVEN AND EDEN!” Fear engulfed you, a suffocating darkness that threatened to consume all hope. You were to be cast into a purgatory of your own making, alone and forsaken.

“Release her shackles!” As Sera’s voice cut through the air like a blade, you felt the chains around you dissolve, yet the burn marks remained, a permanent reminder of your choices. You were thrust away from Lucifer, your heart pounding against the confines of your chest, and when your eyes finally met his, you saw the flicker of concern. It ignited a deep-seated rage within you.

Pain shot through your back like lightning as your wings began to transform from gleaming white to a deep, obsidian black. Your halo, once a radiant gold, dulled to bronze, and your skin took on a gray hue. The purity of your existence was now tainted by your one-sided love for Lucifer.

“FATHER, NO! SPARE HER!” Lucifer’s desperate cries echoed through the heavens, but they fell on deaf ears. You stood there, hollowed out, your heart aching not for the punishment before you but for the betrayal that had led you here.

As the Archangel Michael took his stance next to Lucifer, he raised his sword, poised to sever Lucifer's wings. You were forced to witness the agony of his fall. His screams of anguish faded into the abyss as the clouds beneath you crumbled, sending you spiraling into your new reality.

For years, you lingered in purgatory, a silent reaper of the soul’s passage, guiding some to Heaven’s light and casting others into the depths of Hell. With each soul that passed through your hands, your heart grew heavy with bitterness, festering into a resentment that twisted into distaste. You found yourself haunted by thoughts of Lucifer—by the life he now shared with her, the woman who claimed his heart and turned your world upside down.

Then came the day you were summoned to Heaven, tasked with presenting your report on the balance of Winners and Sinners. It was there, amid the looming towers and the changed landscape of your once home, that you first laid eyes on her—Charlie Morningstar, a living echo of Lucifer, with his fiery spirit shimmering in her every gesture.

As you sat in the grand jury meeting, the air thick with tension, you listened to the murmurs of angels discussing Lucifer and Lilith’s child. Your heart ached as you watched Charlie fight for her dreams, her passion reminiscent of his—how he had once battled for his aspirations, now he was seemingly forgotten till Charlie showed up.

Then, as if summoned by fate, Adam snapped his fingers, opening a portal to cast Charlie and her partner back to hell. Just as it threatened to close, a surge of instinct propelled you forward, a desperate need to reach him again, the man you loved, to grasp the fleeting connection you had lost. You rushed toward the portal, your heart racing, your soul crying out to see him missing you.

On the other side, Lucifer stood, his eyes wide with shock and recognition. Amidst his hand, a cold golden band sat, showing where his commitments lie. Time froze as you locked gazes, every unspoken word hanging heavy between you. He extended his hand, a lifeline reaching through the veil, but the portal snapped shut instantly, severing the moment like a blade.

Tears welled in your eyes as despair washed over you, your head drooping low as the chamber emptied around you. Sera approached her presence, a gentle reminder of all those years ago, offering solace amid your sadness.

"It's time to let go, Y/N," she murmured, her voice soft yet firm. You nodded, feeling the weight of her words settle heavily in your chest. With a trembling hand, you reached out to the wall where the portal had been, yearning for the connection that had vanished.

As Sera sighed and stepped away, you whispered, “Please, please, please prove I’m right...Please, please, please don’t bring me to tears for one more night...”

Years of pent-up emotions, longing, and heartache surged in a wave. A soft black glow began to envelop you. It consumed you, drawing you back into the solitude that Lucifer had unwittingly gifted you—a prison of your own making. Purgatory was your new and forever home.

Instead of proving you right, Lucifer had always been a master of disappointment, a beacon of hope that burned too bright yet always flickered just out of reach. He would continue to choose her, leaving you alone in the shadows, grappling with the remnants of a love that had never truly belonged to you. Or...did it...

Thank you again, everyone, for the support; I will slowly take steps back into the community one foot at a time. I hope you enjoy my pieces and stick around for my growth <3

#x reader #lunarwritings #moons #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin #hazbinhotel #hotel hazbin #lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #luci #fallen angel #hazbin fanart #hazbin hotel fanart

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dreamsky-sapphi · 3 days

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Nanamahi brainrots

All my comments on each point below <3

Template by @ustfile (twitter)

Note: I mainly focus on Nanamahi here ⬇️

• Easily Jealous / Too Careless

Even with Nana i think Mahiru would easily still be jealous.

Not in the same way she was with Karen, but in more of a "i have a special relationship with Nana" so she can't help but feel a bit of jealousy when she sees Nana with someone else, except if it's Junna. Despite this jealousy, she wouldn't do or say anything about it, but I think Nana may guess it and find it a little amusing and tease her about it in private.

For Nana, no matter if we consider that she is still not over Junna or not, I think she would still feel possessive over Mahiru, and wouldn't hesitate to show it more than Mahiru would, things such as just approaching from behind with a bright smile like she seems to do everytime she feels threatened.

• Destroys everything to have you / Kills you to save the world

Mahiru would lean more towards sacrificing Nana for the sake of everyone. Of course she cares about Nana but she cares about everyone more, bc she knows that at this point it is almost impossible to convince Nana out of her mindset. She knows how Nana thinks so she would know what would be best in the end.

Nana probably would lean more on sacrificing everything else if she was at a point where she feels like she lost everything, but I didn't put her to the extreme bc Mahiru isn't the one in her heart, and she still cares about everyone else.

• I don't deserve any of this / I deserve to be with you

Nana thinks of herself as some kind of monster, even if she craves love like anyone else. But I don't think she'd ever think she deserves any sort of sympathy.

Mahiru just has terribly low self-esteem and would rather put others before herself in any situation.

• Would revive you if you died / Leaves you to die anyway

I'm not entirely sure for this one, I just think that above everything else, they are both too caring to just let the other die.

At least they would not let the other die without them...

• Clings onto others (especially the other) / Cold exterior

I'd say they both just like physical contact, Nana more than Mahiru.

Mahiru wasn't exactly a physical person except maybe to Karen, but I think she would like the proximity Nana would provide her, like a sense of security. Isn't it comforting to melt into a hug. Idk I just think she would like being hugged by someone taller as well.

Nana would like the contact as some kind of reminder that Mahiru won't leave her anytime soon, so more of a possessive motive.

• "This is fate, isn't it?" / "It was a coincidence, that's all"

This doesn't really reflect whether they believe in fate or not.

I wouldn't be able to tell for sure for Nana, but I think Mahiru does believe in fate, but it just never turns out the way she wished it would (first example obviously is Karen and Hikari, but also anything related to others getting the lead roles she would have loved to get).

Specifically in a Nanamahi setting, I'd say they both think this just happened to be when they needed it the most, just pure coincidence.

This wasn't meant to be but it's convenient for both of them.

• "Let's leave this place" / "I can't just leave everything for 'you'..."

Nana doesn't have much to lose anymore and would lean more on not caring about leaving everything behind to keep this relationship, bc even if it hurts both of them, the pain brings her comfort and will have trouble thinking theres any other way to feel better, at least in the present. It's easier to indulge in this temporary comfort and cut yourself from the outside to fully enjoy it.

As for Mahiru, despite her loneliness, she has too much to lose compared to Nana. Mahiru's loneliness is not the same as what Nana feels because she still has and had so many friends and a loving family who support her. She still want to achieve things and she can't just leave everything behind for this comfort which she knows is only temporary. This is where it would make more sense for someone like Claudine to bring her comfort instead, since she would push Mahiru forward more while Nana would want to stay in a constant cycle of pain.

• A bloody marriage / "I still don't feel a thing"

I'm not sure what a bloody marriage is, but I think Nana would believe there isn't any sort of "love" between them. Ofc it isn't just a random friendship (I don't think that friends just casually kiss all the time), but she would lean more on believe there is nothing worth calling "love".

As for Mahiru, she's more sensitive when it comes to romantic feelings, and might develop a little something, but definitely not a cute kind of love. More of what would be seen as emotional dependence.

Even so, she'd keep thinking to herself that it isn't love and would try to think there's nothing between them despite her growing feelings.

• Self-sacrificial / Would give you away for nothing at all

I don't think neither of these people pleasers would even care about themselves enough to sacrifice the other for nothing.

• "See you in the next life" / "This will never happen again"

They hope such a situation won't ever happen again in the future, but Mahiru would lean more on wanting to meet Nana again in another lifetime where they don't feel so sick and can have fun like they did in highschool (not that Nana doesnt want it but she might think that if they met again, things would end up the same).

• "I don't feel a thing" / "You make me feel alive"

Honestly the entire reason they're together.

When they're by themselves, it's just their thoughts and themselves. They wouldn't feel comfortable enough to open up to anyone about their feelings: they're supposedly getting better now.

I can easily think while they can act normally around others, they'd be like walking corpses once alone when their moods aren't at their best.

By finding each other, someone who can understand their ugly feelings, they can find comfort in each other's arms.

• Would go back in time to save you / Things like that are impossible

We mentionned this with Risse earlier but if Mahiru was given the ability to timeloop, she may have done it.

But my nanamahi setting is leaning towards the future where the revues are over, so when it isn't even possible anymore. Mahiru isn't aware of the timeloops.

Mahiru wouldn't even believe that is a possibility.

Nana would do it again.

• "I need anyone by my side" / "I don't need anyone anymore except you"

In a time where loneliness overtakes her mind, Mahiru would probably be fine as long as anyone could be here for her or at least make her feel needed in a way that isn't like her family needs her or her regular friends need her.

Her love and interactions with Karen have left a scar in her that doesn't heal properly and made her feel the need to find someone who can make her feel needed in a similar way again.

Nana on the other hand has given up and only wants one person by her side.

• "We're friends, right?" / "I wished we were something more"

Between Nana and Mahiru, Mahiru would probably be the one yearning for something more concrete than a weird special bond, while Nana views this more as just mutually helping out.

#revue starlight #nanamahi #tsuyuzaki mahiru #daiba nana #don't mind me i'm brainroting #i love nanamahi #they make me feel so sick

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wuxian-vs-wangji · 2 days

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Love Sand: A Summary

For those who cannot afford to buy Love Sand, or don't know if they feel like reading it. This is a full summary, so of course it's full of spoilers. General trigger warnings for dubious consent, non-consent (one partner drunk), and revoked consent.

Love Sand takes place 7-5 months before the events of Love Sea, long before Mahasamut and Tongrak ever meet. The two do, however, play major roles in Khom and Connor's love story.

Love Sand's official English edition can be purchased through Meb.

If you order through the app, you'll have to buy a set of tokens and purchase it that way, If you order through their website, you can directly buy the number of tokens you need for Love Sand specifically.

Love Sand: A Summary

Before getting into this: Khom has a lot of negative self-image issues revolving around being thought of as a sex worker. I conveyed that as best I could here, but I want to make it clear that there is no shame in sex work, so long as it's something the person wants to do, is protected, and does not feel forced into.

Khom is 19, and just had his heart broken by his first love.

Type grew up with Khom, and Khom saw all the bad that came on the heels of Type being sexually assaulted at the age of 11 by a worker his father had hired. Type was hounded by media seeking to sensationalize an already horrible story, and faced the stares of curious islanders and people asking too many questions about the assault.

Type becomes viciously homophobic after the trauma, buying into every negative stereotype about gay people. Khom, who has always known he's gay and who has had a crush on Type throughout his youth, wants to be a calming presence. He supports Type, is his confidant and friend, and swallows his objections to what Type says.

But Type's hatred just keeps growing and growing, and Khom is finally sick of hearing it. He reveals to Type that he's gay, hoping Type will reconsider his homophobia after learning his best friend, who has always been there for him, is gay.

Instead, Type throws it all in Khom's face. He calls Khom a pervert, a slut, and is disgusted by his association with Khom.

Khom is very similar to Mahasamut in Love Sea, in which he will internalize the opinions of people he cares about. Type's words cut as deeply as a knife, and are the trigger for a lot of the plot of Love Sand.

---

Several days after Type returned to his university in Bangkok, Khom is isolating himself and trying to deal with the pain in his heart. He withdraws from everyone, and sits alone to mourn his lifelong one-sided crush.

Khom isn't good at making friends. He's friendly with some guys on the island, but not in a way where he'd turn to any of them if he's in pain. He's extremely introverted, and deeply isolated.

Mahasamut tracks him down one day at a kind of secluded beach the locals keep to themselves. Mut is an older boy on the island, around 21, and viciously charismatic. His business is word-of-mouth, and there isn't much Mahasamut won't do to make sure he's the first choice of every traveler.

But right now, he's in trouble and needs help. Mahasamut was jumped at a bar by a gang of local boys who tried to fuck with him. Despite it being 6:1, Mahsasamut won the fight, but slipped on a beer bottle afterwards and broke his leg.

Mahasamut has a visitor coming to the island the next day, who booked his services and whose business Mut cannot afford to lose. Even if he's the choice of any traveler who can book him, Mahasamut very much lives hand to mouth. Khom is the only other boy on the island who speaks English as well as Mahasamut, and he needs Khom to pretend to be him and play tour guide for 3 days.

In exchange, Mut will give Khom a cut of what the foreigner is paying.

Khom reluctantly agrees, figuring it will be a distraction from his dark thoughts and pain of falling out with Type.

Khom is instantly and immediately attracted to Connor, but he knows how dangerous that is. Connor has a wild playboy aura, and fierce green eyes that make him darkly seductive. He's also 11 years older than Khom.

With a shock, Khom quickly learns that Connor is completely fluent in Thai, though he pretends not to be around most people. Connor is Canadian, and on the island as part of a vacation tour of dive spots.

And that's all Khom is allowed to know. If he asks any questions about Connor's life, Connor quite obviously changes the subject, making it very clear that Khom is not entitled to any personal information at all. Not even how he knows Thai.

Connor is overtly attracted to Khom, and flirts with him constantly. Khom takes him to local hangouts, where the food is more authentic and people more themselves than around the tourist areas.

Khom gets drunk at one such spot, encouraged by Connor, and loses all sense of where he is. He's hot, so he strips, and attracts the attention of basically the Thai equivalent of siren.

In Khom's mind, the demon is coming to steal his soul, but he is too unsteady to fight it as it pins him down and starts jacking him off.

In reality, Connor has taken Khom back to his hotel room, and when Khom strips his shirt off, Connor pounces. He ignores Khom's protests and forcefully jacks him off.

---

The next morning, Khom is embarrassed to know he got drunk and the guest he's supposed to be taking care of had to take care of him. He also vaguely remembers having a strange dream the night before, but it's very much a dream.

Connor keeps taunting and teasing Khom, embarrassing the boy and keeping him on edge. Khom is fighting constantly against his own attraction to Connor. He doesn't want to be the kind of person Type accused him of being.

He isn't a slut, he isn't easy, he isn't perverted. He isn't the kind to have flings with tourists. Khom's had a couple of very short lived relationships in his life, all done under extreme secrecy. No one knows he's gay, not even his family. That's half to protect himself, and half because he didn't want Type to know he was gay, still hoping that Type's prejudice would eventually fade.

Connor wants to go for a dive, so Mahasamut sends Palm with a rented boat. But the boat is WAY too nice, and Khom realizes that Connor must be paying Mahasamut way above his normal rate. Meanwhile, he's giving Khom pennies for filling in.

Khom is supposed to be pretending to be Mahasamut so that Connor doesn't know this isn't the guide he hired. But Khom is so bad at it that he keeps forgetting, and it's obvious to Connor from the start. It is never confirmed nor denied, but Khom suspects Mahasamut somewhat pimped him out to Connor. Choosing Khom as his guide because Khom is physically exactly the kind of person Connor is attracted to.

While diving, Connor pretends to drown so that Khom has to give him air (they were freediving, not diving with tanks). To Connor, it's a cheeky way to get a kiss, hidden underwater where Cockblock Palm can't see them. But Khom is deathly serious about safety, and is absolutely enraged.

After that, Connor sticks to beaches, and apologizes constantly for playing. He also doesn't slow down his pursuit of Khom in the least.

---

The next day, Khom takes Connor out again, this time on a motorbike. Connor is very suggestive all day, and keeps Khom anxious and on the edge. Eventually, even though Khom repeatedly asks him to behave, Connor distracts Khom while he's driving and Khom nearly collides with a car. He crashes the bike, and while Connor is fine, Khom's leg is torn up.

Khom has to go to the hospital, and Connor is extremely embarrassed and worried. He takes Khom back to the resort and takes care of him.... but in a very Connor way.

He helps strip Khom, and then sits there in the bathroom with him while Khom takes a bath with maximum embarrassment. He also deliberately leaves the towel away from the tub so that Khom has to ask him for it while Connor stares at him.

Connor then makes Khom lay on the bed and take his medicine, which puts him to sleep. Khom is incredibly upset- he's ruined Connor's last night on the island, and now a guest is losing out on enjoying the area because he has to take care of his guide.

The next morning, Khom wakes in intense pain from the leg. Connor again gives him medicine, and tells him to go back to sleep. Khom doesn't want to lose the time with Connor, but Connor won't hear it.

When Khom next wakes, it's late in the afternoon. Connor has not only missed his checkout time, but he's also missed the last boat off the island for the day. Khom is again embarrassed and upset, but Connor doesn't care.

Connor then reveals that he actually extended his vacation the night before, and did it specifically because he's interested in the island, but also in Khom. Mahasamut has also given Khom as his guaranteed tour guide for his extended stay. This kind of reminds Khom that he's acting like a prostitute, wanting to sleep with the man who he's been hired to guide.

The next morning, on one public beach, while Connor is swimming, Khom is approached by a group of guys (Khom can't get in the water with his injury). One of them is Jun, a local who was once a classmate of Khom's. Jun's family had the money to send him to school on the mainland, and he's returned with his rich friends, making fun of how shabby the island is.

Khom loves the island as fiercely as Mahasamut does, and Jun pisses him off. Jun belittles Khom, and right then Connor reappears and steps in. He puts Jun in his place, taunting him and destroying him and his dignity in front of his rich little friends, until they laugh at Jun and leave him.

Jun is pissed, but Connor is massive, and so he is forced to back down.

Connor then takes Khom back to Mahasamut's truck (that Khom had for the day) and helps him finally vent some emotion. Khom is mad at Jun but swallowing it, and Connor encourages him until Khom finally yells in the car. As a reward, Connor gives Khom a kiss.

Khom wants to be bold a little longer, and so he asks Connor if he can request a bigger award. Connor has been pursuing him all day, and making it clear how badly he wants Khom. The kiss also makes Khom realize that he wasn't dreaming the other night, Connor definitely took advantage of him when he was drunk.

But Khom is so thirsty that he doesn't care right now.

Connor lays Khom's seat down in the truck and gives Khom the best blowjob of his life, but won't let Khom touch him in response. He swallows most of the cum and feeds Khom a little, visibly becoming feral watching Khom shyly lick it off his fingers.

But when Khom wants to return the favor, Connor just straightens up as if nothing happened and drives Khom back home. Khom feels embarrassed and humiliated. Connor is visibly hard in his pants, but clearly he's decided Khom is incapable of taking care of him. As the night goes on, Khom sinks deeper and deeper into just feeling like some slut.

Khom takes Connor to some dive spots over the next day, but Khom has to stay on the boat while Palm dives with Connor, much to Connor's chagrin. Palm clearly knows Connor and Khom are interested in each other, but Khom's leg cannot get wet.

The next day, Khom takes Connor to a secret beach, one of several the locals kind of keep to themselves. It's isolated, pristine, and quiet. Connor wants to have a picnic, but this beach doesn't have a dock, a detail Khom forgot about. To protect Khom's leg, Connor jumps into the water and carries Khom to shore.

Connor and Khom start making out, and a storm hits. They move beneath an overhang and decide to wait out the storm. It is then that Connor asks Khom how old he is.

All this time, Connor has thought Khom was 16-17. Somehow in Connor's mind that translated to jacking off a drunk and protesting Khom was acceptable, as was giving him a blowjob and making endless sexual overtures to him, but letting Khom touch him sexually was not.

When Connor finds out Khom is 19, all bets are off. Connor and Khom pounce on each other, and have sex on the beach for several hours. Khom is shy and easily embarrassed, which turns Connor on. Connor is into sexual sadism, and Khom finds himself overwhelmingly turned on by the hard and rough sex Connor offers.

But after the sex is over, Khom is again embarrassed. Partly for breaking his own rules and sleeping with a client, but also how shamelessly he begged for Connor to be harder and rougher.

Connor calls Khom "honey", but is clear that that nickname is not the term of endearment, but a reference to his honey-colored skin. He'll also call him "baby", and during sex "slut". Khom, hiding his own self-loathing and shame for having sex without any kind of relationship, calls Connor "pervert" constantly.

Connor and Khom are insatiable after their sex on the beach. Khom accepts that he's just a slut, that none of this means anything to Connor, but it feels good. They burn through condoms hard and fast, and Connor shows his truest colors in repeatedly forcing orgasms out of Khom, long after Khom as begged for mercy.

But that's part of what he and Khom both enjoy. Because Khom very much does enjoy it.

Connor also comes to Khom's house to have real, authentic local food made by Khom's mother. He's polite and charming, and interested in learning about Khom. Connor finds out Khom is in college, studying on the mainland to a degree (he's in a small local school in the city where the ferry to the island picks up tourists), and that is as far as Khom has ever been.

Khom expresses some jealousy of friends of his who have been to Bangkok, and how it's a dream of his to go there someday. It's a bit subtle, but he expresses a desire to go further, and some disappointment that he won't.

That night, Connor calls his best friend Tongrak, and makes a few demands.

---

The next evening, as Khom is walking with Connor along a beach, Connor tells Khom that he will be leaving the next day. His vacation time is used up.

Khom is devastated, but tries not to show it. He's fallen in love with Connor over the last week and a half, thoroughly and truly, and while he always knew this day was coming, he is heartbroken. Khom knows he has no right to ask Connor to stay, he's just some islander who spread his legs for the man.

Connor then tells Khom that he'd like it if Khom left with him. He tells Khom he arranged a spot for him at a university, a private dorm, and will give Khom a large living allowance in exchange for Khom sleeping with Connor whenever he asks. Khom won't live with Connor, and Connor will mostly leave him alone, but they'll have sex at least once a week.

Khom is shattered.

He already thought of himself as a slut for throwing himself at a tourist, but Connor's words are shredding what dignity he thought he had in believing their attraction was mutual. Connor knows Khom's family isn't wealthy, and he knows Khom helps his father with work as much as possible, so Connor helpfully mentions Khom can send the money back to his parents to make things easier for them.

But Connor, growing up in privelige, doesn't understand how that sounds. Like he's looking down on Khom's family and what they have. Like he's saying they're so poor that they have to sell their son into sexual slavery just to make ends meet. Khom's family isn't wealthy, but they have as much as they need, and they're happy.

Khom punches Connor and runs away, hiding on a remote beach as he sobs. Everything he thought he had with Connor was a lie. Connor only saw him as some poor island boy who he could make his personal hooker.

Every nasty thing Type said to him is at the foreground of his mind as he processes his and Connor's relationship through an increasingly negative lense.

---

Khom stays out all night, hiding from the world. He doesn't leave the beach until Mahasamut comes to find him there, letting him know that Mut personally saw Connor off onto the boat. He's gone for good.

And he knows what went down. Mut tries to console Khom by saying he should have agreed to it, then made Connor pay not with his money, but with his heart. That's what Mahasamut would do if he was in Khom's shoes.

Khom brushes Mahasamut off, and tries to go back to his life.

But Connor had pissed off Jun a week ago, humiliating him in front of his rich friends and making them dump him in disgrace.

Jun asked around locals who worked at the resort, and found out that Khom was in Connor's room most nights. He also found out the trash of that room was filled with used condoms every day.

Jun jumps Khom outside of a local shop one evening. He picks a fight with Khom, who initially tries to put up a fight in return. Jun outs Khom as gay to the whole island, which takes a lot of the fight out of Khom as Jun loudly yells about all the used condoms in Connor's room and how Khom is some hooker who spread it for money because his family is poor.

And then Jun really brutlly starts wailing on Khom, and Khom's only awareness through the pain is that everyone is just watching. No one is helping him. They look vaguely disgusted (likely at the overall spectacle, but he reads it as them being disgusted with him).

---

Khom loses consciousness, and Jun finally stops. A friend of Mahasamut's in the crowd calls the man, and while Mahasamut rushes to the area, the friend takes Khom to the hospital (you don't get the friend's name, but it's not Palm).

Khom regains consciousness enough to refuse to stay at the hospital, so Mahasamut comes and picks him up. The next time Khom wakes up, he's in Mut's shack, in his bed, with the older guy watching over him.

Mahasamut tells Khom that he bent arms and convinced as many people as he could to keep what Jun said quiet- about him sleeping with Connor and about him being gay. But Khom knows it's impossible for Mahasamut to silence enough people. Word has probably already gotten back to his parents.

Khom is terrified, positive his parents will throw him out for being gay, and feeling like garbage for ever sleeping with Connor. Mahasamut recommends he leave the island and go back to his dorm on the mainland, to give himself some time away for things to quiet down. Khom was already thinking along the same lines.

Mahasamut delivers Khom to the pier looking absolutely horrific, and Khom leaves without ever speaking to his family.

Over the next two weeks, Khom lives in absolute terror. He won't leave his room, barely eats, and can't sleep. Every footstep in the hallway he's scared it's someone coming to attack him for being gay. He won't answer any messages from anyone, and every ring of his phone makes him physically ill.

He also sinks deeper and deeper into every negative thought Connor's offer put into his mind. That he's only a slut, inhuman, delusional for ever thinking anyone could be attracted to him.

---

Connor, meanwhile, hasn't stopped thinking about the fight with Khom. It's eating him alive, and he's become short tempered and angry.

He knows he fucked up, that rage is directed inward. He arranged the university for Khom because he could see Khom's desire to study and grow beyond the confines of the island to learn and see the world.

He arranged the dorm to give Khom a chance to build his own life, because things could end with Connor at any time. That's how dating works. He wanted Khom stable. He mentioned sending money home because he misread Khom's devastation at his offer as Khom worrying about not being able to help his father with work.

And he mentioned sex in exchange because he's always teasing Khom with sex. But he fully understands how Khom could have taken it so wrongly, and is pissed at himself for not chasing after Khom and explaining it all clearly. But Khom blocked his number, and he has no way of reaching him.

Eventually, Connor has pissed Tongrak off enough that his friend tells him to just go talk to Khom. He has no vacation time left, so he flies down to the south on the weekend. He gets ahold of Mahasamut, who only tells him Khom is no longer on the island.

Connor remembers that Khom attended university, and so he gets a hotel on the mainland and intends to search the campus for any sign of him.

---

Desperate to at least forget about Connor, Khom installs a hookup app on his phone. He has thoroughly crashed, and since he's only worthy of being a slut, he will be one. He finds a guy who is a bit old, a bit dumpy, but it's a foreigner who has green eyes.

But when Khom goes to meet the guy, forcing himself to step outside, the man is vastly different from his picture. Khom becomes more and more uncomfortable as the man leads him up to his hotel room, and tries to back out entirely. The man refuses to take no for an answer and drags Khom through the hallway.

Just before the man can throw Khom into his room, Khom is saved by a furious Connor. Connor happened to see Khom in the lobby- this is Connor's hotel- and after weeks feeling guilty for what he did to Khom, he's pissed as all hell to see Khom following some random man up to his room.

Connor drags Khom to his own room and throws him inside, ready to fight. He calls Khom a slut, but Khom becomes immediately defiant. Khom doesn't see himself as having anything left, he's utterly drowning and doesn't know if he can survive, so he cuts off Connor and tells him he accepts the deal. He'll be Connor's personal whore.

Connor is angry, and Khom is determined. He throws Khom on the bed and is extremely rough with him. By the end he's more gentle, forcing Khom to cum until he's numb, and it's time to go to the dorm so Khom can grab a backpack of personal items to leave with Connor.

But Connor was rougher than he'd ever been, and Khom is covered in bruises.

After that, Khom retreats into himself. He barely speaks, and even then only when Connor pushes. The only thing he says of his own volition is begging Connor to not make him get on an airplane (Khom is terrified of flying).

He doesn't know where Connor is taking him. Literally all he knows about Connor is his age, that he's Canadian, and that he speaks Thai. Not how he learned it, not where he lives, not what he does.

Connor relents, and they board a 16 hour bus ride to Bangkok. Khom is extremely uncomfortable. Connor was well beyond his tolerance the previous night, and it physically hurts to even sit on the bus seat. Khom pretends to sleep the whole ride to Bangkok, but he's too sick to his stomach at what he's doing. That he's sold himself.

He let Connor go beyond his tolerance because he believes that as a sex slave, he has no right to say no to Connor. Even if he protests in bed, they are insincere and part of his and Connor's CNC kink they developed on the island. He never fights it, never limits it. Even though it hurt.

Connor watches Khom the whole ride. He feels guilty for the bruises on Khom's sides, and knows he has to be in pain. But Connor can't figure out why the boy let him go that far. He was trying to get Khom to stop him. Pushing the limits so Khom would push back.

He doesn't know what happened the past two weeks, but looking at Khom and really studying him, he can see the boy is way too thin, and there are dark, deep bags under his eyes. He is pale and utterly terrified of something.

The bus hits traffic and they get to Bangkok later than anticipated. Connor can't miss work, if he knew he might have been able to take a personal day, but everything happened too fast, and he has meetings lined up until late at night.

Connor rushes Khom back to his apartment, and it's then that Khom very pitifully asks if Connor lives in Bangkok, then quickly apologizes for asking him anything personal. He also only calls Connor "sir".

Connor realizes that Khom internalized what he'd done on the island- keeping personal information private to the point where Khom thought he had no right to know absolutely anything.

There isn't time to explain, so Connor just tells Khom he can put his things on the sofa, and Connor will be back late that night. Khom pokes around the room a little after Connor leaves, but doesn't touch anything. He was told he could sit on the sofa, so that must be the only spot Connor would let a whore dirty in his home.

He looks out at the city, so overwhelmingly different from home, and spends the day balled up on the sofa crying.

---

That night, Connor comes home to a pitch black apartment. He realized with Khom's question about his personal life what Khom must be thinking, and starts to put the pieces together that Khom genuinely believes he has no rights.

Connor feels crushingly guilty. Khom is a naiive boy, and he's always known this. He wasn't careful enough in how he handled Khom, and knows now Khom must have been in agony their night together before coming to Bangkok.

When Connor sees the dark and empty apartment, his heart breaks. He thinks Khom must have left, fleeing him and his abuse. But then he turns on the light and finds Khom stirring on the sofa.

While Connor is relieved initially, he sees the black bags under Khom's eyes are only worse, and what's more, Khom is still in the same clothes. When he asks Khom, gently, why Khom didn't shower, Khom says Connor didn't give him permission.

Connor's heart breaks, and just when he thinks he can't feel any more guilt for how he's spoken to and treated Khom, he dares to ask if Khom has eaten anything. Khom hasn't, because Connor didn't give him permission to use the refrigerator. Khom references Connor's initial offer, how Khom isn't supposed to be in Connor's personal home, he'll have a spot of his own where he's kept until Connor wants to use him.

Connor tells Khom to forget everything he said on the island. The home is as much Khom's as it is Connor's, and he has complete reign over it. He can sleep in any bed he wants, use the television, use everything he wants right down to Connor's toothbrush if he needs it, and empty the fridge as much as he wants.

Khom showers and Connor tries to coax some emotion out of him by asking Khom what he wants to eat. But every food Khom has heard of in Bangkok (from Type) are pastries, and Connor feels worse and worse seeing the flicker of hope leave Khom's eyes each time he tells Khom he can't have it (the shops are closed, and Khom will probably make himself sick eating sweets after not eating for days).

Khom shuts down again, and tells Connor he will eat whatever Connor wants him to. Connor takes him out and orders too much food, feeling worse and worse as he watches Khom devour it. Khom doesn't eat a lot usually, and how quickly he shovels the food down tells Connor how much he's starved himself.

Before going home, Connor takes him to a grocery store. Khom won't ask for or buy anything, he's acting odd again and has retreated. So Connor leaves him by the entrance to sit while Connor buys more food to fill the fridge up with, plus any prepackaged pastries still left.

Back at the apartment, he puts all the food on a shelf in the fridge and reminds Khom that the whole fridge is his to use as he wants, but also emphasizes that the foods he put there today, Khom should think of as his and his alone. It's Connor's way to try and cover himself- if Khom doens't believe he can use anything in the kitchen, he at least has to believe that there is food that is HIS and he can eat at will.

Connor then gives Khom a cardkey to access the apartment, so Khom can wander freely. There are only two in existence, his and Connor's. Khom finally starts to believe that Connor is sincere, that maybe things will be alright.

And then Connor hands Khom a wad of cash.

From Connor's standpoint: Bangkok is more expensive than the island by a mile. He doesn't want Khom to have to sit around all week until the weekend when Connor can take him places. Doesn't want him dwelling on things in the apartment alone, and wants him to have the freedom to go to pastry shops and see museums, all the things Khom mentioned wanting to do back on the island.

But what Khom sees is Connor giving him his first payment. Reminding him, lest Khom get too happy, that he's nothing more than a prostitute that Connor has bought.

Connor can't figure out why Khom's face goes completely blank. He doesn't even hear Connor anymore, just puts the money at the bottom of his backpack and pulls Connor to the bedroom.

While Connor tries to get Khom to speak to him, Khom strips and lays on the bed, forcing his legs apart and telling Connor to go ahead.

All of Connor's self-loathing and guilt come roaring to the surface. He repeatedly tries to explain to Khom that the money wasn't in exchange for sex, but Khom has completely broken, even further than he knew he could break. He won't listen to the explanations or excuses, he won't hear any of it. He begs Connor to just use him, saying he needs Connor to do it, because he can't take feeling any worse than he already does. He feels worthless and like garbage, and if Connor won't let him do the one thing he thinks he's worth, he won't be able to take it anymore.

Connor snaps. He tells Khom he has no interest in having sex with him, and tells Khom to instead touch himself while Connor watches. He reminds Khom that Khom can't get hard without some pain, and forces Khom to finger himself, even though he's still swollen and bruised from the rough sex 2 nights before.

But Khom is too tired, too heartbroken, and too overwhelmed. Connor unceremoneously extends a leg and shoves his big toe into Khom's ass, and between the pain and Connor's command- which Khom's body has always obeyed above Khom's own will- he's able to get hard.

Eventually, Connor withdraws and Khom's fingers take their place, but he still can't get off. It's exhaustion, the bad kind of pain, and on top of all of that, Connor is glaring at Khom with only cold disgust on his face.

And Khom doesn't know that disgust is turned inward. He thinks Connor is disgusted with him.

Khom's already fragile mind breaks and he starts to openly sob, and tries to get away. Connor climbs onto the bed and starts roughly fingering Khom while making Khom continue stroking himself. He ignores all of Khom's sobbing and pleas for Connor to stop.

In a way, this is what Connor has wanted though- Khom holds everything inside, he keeps everything to himself and doesn't express himself, and that's always been the problem. On the island in the happier times- he never knew how much Khom was internalizing the dirty talk and all of that. How ashamed Khom was of himself every time they had sex.

So Connor takes on a gentler tone and tells Khom to keep crying. Eventually, he manages to make Khom cum, and Khom begs forgiveness for getting off first, and tries to pull at Connor's pants, even though he's still shaking and crying.

Connor punches the bed and storms out of the room, leaving Khom alone in his own cum, still crying.

Connor is utterly disgusted with himself, more than ever before. He likes when he makes Khom cry in bed, but a desperate, horny kind of crying. Not that soul-crushing sadness.

Connor doesn't sleep all night, and neither does Khom. Connor is horrified by his own actions, and vows not to touch Khom sexually again. He also decides to hold off explaining everything. He needs to build Khom back up mentally, to heal his psyche first and foremost.

He intends to build Khom's faith in him through actions, and when Khom is strong enough and has had some good days and full nights of sleep, then explain it all.

The next day, Khom pretends to be asleep when Connor tries to check on him, and Connor leaves to go to work. He leaves work early and raids every pastry store he can find, buying everything Khom mentioned the night before and then anything that Connor thought had sufficient sugar content.

When he gets home, Khom is again gone. But he walks in a few minutes later- he'd gone to the grocery store. Khom won't look at him and is visibly weak. When Connor says he thought Khom might have left him, Khom just says he doesn't have anywhere to go, but will leave if Connor makes him.

Khom thinks Connor is mad about last night, about Khom not being able to satisfy him after Connor paid good money for it. And now he thinks Connor is going to throw him out on the street.

Connor reassures Khom that will never happen. He shows Khom all of the foods and treats he brought, trying to bring any warmth to Khom's face.

A cream puff does the trick. It brings back a little bit of light, and Connor basks in that. When it comes time to go to bed, Khom again thinks he's expected to have sex with Connor, but Connor only holds him, saying he misses his warmth from their nights on the island sharing a bed.

For the first time in weeks, Khom sleeps deeply.

---

Connor takes Khom on a date, bringing him on the metro to the mall he bought all of Khom's treats from, and buying even more, anything Khom's eyes linger on. He also takes Khom to a sit-down restaurant that has southern food, something Khom is more familiar with.

When two girls flirt with Connor, he makes sure they know he belongs to KHOM. Khom is already overwhelmed by how overt a gay couple can be in the city compared to the environment he grew up on, and is both touched and put on edge by how overt Connor is.

That night, Connor realizes with a start that he's acting as mooney with Khom as his father acted when he fell in love with his stepmother, and realizes he's now sincerely fallen in love with Khom.

Things get significally better for Khom from there.

Connor is always gentle with him, asks permission to even touch Khom, and refuses to touch him sexually in any way. The most he allows himself is a peck on the cheek when he comes home from work.

He is also very aware that Khom won't ask him personal questions because of his previous deflection, so Connor makes a point of bringing things up. When his mother calls and Khom's eyes are wide at Connor speaking to her in Thai, Connor goes out of his way to explain that his step-mother is Thai.

Connor tells Khom about his family- his father, his beloved step-mother, and his half-brother. He promises he'll introduce Khom to them when they next come back to Thailand (a yearly trip).

This does help pierce through some of Khom's still present thoughts about being a prostitute. If Connor thought of him as only a sex object, then he wouldn't introduce Khom to his family. That's something you do for a person you like, right?

Khom shyly asks for permission to get a job helping at the kitchen of a small local restaurant. He reassures Connor it won't interfere with his "duties" with Connor, and won't tire him out. Connor is worried about Khom feeling overwhelmed, he's still very much recovering from a massive breakdown, but he won't restrict Khom in any way.

Besides, the work gives Khom money of his own, and Connor is afraid of giving Khom money again, afraid of Khom misunderstanding and going back to his dead-eyed state.

Connor also, after a month, has sex with Khom again. But only because Khom would really like it, and he refuses to do anything rough (even though, again, Khom really likes rough).

This time, to make up for all of the bad in the past, he is as gentle and soft as possible. His goal is to make Khom completely melt with happiness. Eventually they can get back to their wilder sexcapades, but Connor won't risk Khom, not while he's still picking himself back up.

---

More time passes, weeks, and Khom has saved up his money. He feels more secure with Connor now, and is starting to accept that Connor doesn't see him as a prostitute, and probably never has.

Khom has been gone for a long time now, and he gets a message from his old college that he's now missed too many classes and won't be given credit for the year. Khom decides to go and formally withdraw, and go to finally face his parents back on the island.

Connor desperately wants to go with him, but Khom wants a chance to handle things himself. He feels guilty for hiding. He spends his paycheck on gifts for his parents, and a nice handbag for his mother. Khom will go ahead, and in a few days Connor will fly down to join him.

Either to meet Khom's parents as Connor's boyfriend, or to console Khom if they throw him out.

---

Khom leaves for the bus terminal (man will NOT fly). Not long after he leaves, Connor's best friend Tongrak shows up.

Connor wasn't lying to Khom about there only being two keys to the apartment, it's just that the apartment is owned by Tongrak, who has the master key. He cuts the rent for Connor and their actress friend Vivie in exchange for being able to wander in and out of their places whenever he's feeling lonely.

Tongrak is a writer, but is bitterly lonely. He has major aversions to romantic relationships because of family trauma, and relies on his friends when it all becomes too much. Tongrak wanted to meet Khom, he's insanely curious, but he is too late.

Something Tongrak does with Connor when things become too hard is to just sleep with Connor hugging him. To feel physical contact. They've done this since their college days, even though neither has any sexual interest in the other whatsoever, and to be clear this is not a sexual act.

Tongrak flings himself on the bed, ignoring Connor's grumbling that he's laying on Khom's pillow and his perfume is covering Khom's scent. He only means to lay down for a little, but falls asleep.

---

Khom gets to the bus terminal and realizes he mixed up one of Connor's bags for the one his mother's gift is in. He was getting the last bus of the night, but he decides to surprise Connor by going home and leaving in the morning instead.

When Khom gets back to the apartment, he finds it dark, and follows a trail of Tongrak's discarded clothes (man isn't sleeping naked, just to be clear, he just likes wearing layers) to the bedroom he and Connor share.

And finds Connor sleeping curled around a painfully beautiful man Khom has never seen before.

Khom drops the bag he's holding and Connor sleepily calls out "Love?" (in Thai), pulling the man tighter.

Tongrak's name means "Must Love", the "Rak" part, his nickname, meaning "Love". It sounds like a pet name- and what's worse, one Connor never used with Khom.

To Khom, it looks like Connor couldn't wait to replace him with another, more beautiful man the moment he was gone. That Connor must have been just playing house all this time, while keeping his usual men off to the side.

---

Tongrak is woken in the morning by Connor viciously cursing. He woke up to find a note saying only "Goodbye", sitting on top of the original wad of cash he gave Khom on his first night in Bangkok.

Tongrak feels horrific. They figure out Khom must have missed his bus and come home, finding them napping together. Connor has told Khom about his family, but Tongrak never came up. He doesn't know, and it must have looked horrific.

Tongrak is the level head in the moment. While Connor is going insane, Tongrak reminds him that Khom will take the bus, which is a 16 hour ride. The flight, meanwhile, is only a couple hours long and can get him south infinitely faster, and with time to spare.

Connor feels horrible, imagining how much pain Khom must be in. He grabs his things to rush south, pausing only to make one fast stop on his way to the airport.

---

Khom arrives on the island feeling worse than he ever has. He cried the entire bus ride down, and feels more self loathing and disgust than he's ever felt.

But when he gets off the boat, Connor is already there.

In front of absolutely everyone, and at full volume, Connor yells that he loves Khom, and belongs only to Khom. He shows Khom that he's added Khom's name to a tattoo on his back of a tiger- a tattoo Khom always liked to stroke when they had sex.

Khom yells about catching Connor in bed with another man, and begs Connor to just leave him alone. He says that if he's with Connor, he won't be able to stand the pain any more, and is scared that one day he'll end up killing himself.

Connor immediately reassures Khom that Tongrak isn't a lover, but a friend. Tongrak himself is waiting with his phone close by to explain everything the moment Connor calls- though they don't do that until later on.

Khom is in so much pain, but Connor is giving him a lifeline in trying to explain. At least for the moment, to stop the pain for a moment, Khom says he'll believe him, and lets Connor kiss him.

Mahasamut, the shithead who is all about the drama, starts the clapping.

Khom and Connor move to a private area, where Khom listens patiently as Connor explains absolutely everything. Every misunderstanding, his intentions, the meanings behind every action and look, apologizing and begging forgiveness the whole time.

He also calls Tongrak, and Khom speaks to him. Tongrak feels absolutely wretched for causing the misunderstanding, and swears he will also apologize in person.

With everything out in the open, Khom feels better than he has in months. Things are still raw, but he feels safer with Connor, and understands Connor's intentions more.

It isn't total forgiveness- it's mentioned in Love Sea, taking place 5 months later, that Connor is still extremely sensitive to mentions of what happened in Love Sand and Khom still gets angry about it, but they're happy, together, and Khom feels secure enough to bicker and fight with Connor (who always lets Khom win).

Khom goes home with Connor, and while Khom's parents have some questions, they accept his sexuality. They found out about what happened to Khom when Mahasamut appeared at their house the day after Khom fled the island, dragging a bloody Jun with him to crawl on the ground and beg their forgiveness for hurting Khom.

Mahasamut has also spent the months Khom has been away making sure everyone on the island knows the same pain will be brought down on anyone who fucks with someone for being LGBT.

Khom will live with Connor in Bangkok, but for the next several months, he'll return to the island once a month for at least a weekend- possibly up to a week- to be with his parents. Connor agrees, even if it makes him sad that Khom will be gone.

Also, in acknowledgement that it's kind of stupid that Connor had time to get a tattoo and STILL got to the island several hours before Khom, Khom agrees to try flying instead of the day-long bus ride.

When the next school year starts up, Khom will go to the university in Bangkok that Connor and Tongrak had arranged before Connor proposed his disaster of a deal back when they first met. Connor will support him through his studies, and promises to never limit Khom in any way.

Khom also receives a long text from Type. Over the months since he last saw Khom, Type has fallen in love with his roommate Tharn, and the two are now a couple. He begs Khom's forgiveness for everything cruel he said- both on the beach to Khom's face, and over the years that Khom has been by his side as a friend.

Khom forgives Type, and the two maintain a social media friendship, not meeting up in Bangkok, but staying in contact via SMS. Having Type back in his life as a friend helps soothe a lot of the remaining pain, and Khom feels more stable and secure than ever... Even though Connor feels a bit insecure that Khom is texting with his first love again...

By the timeline of Love Sea, Connor and Khom are mostly past their issues from Love Sand, and Connor has brought Khom to Canada to give him his first taste of international travel and show him the world. Khom has also been accepted by Connor's family, quickly becoming a welcome addition and favorite.

Meanwhile, Connor and Khom start to turn their attention on Tongrak, and think it might be a fun kind of chaos to send Connor's favorite annoyance (Tongrak) to meet Khom's favorite annoyance (Mahasamut).

Though neither can seem to decide if they'll hit it off, or if Mahasamut will annoy Tongrak to death...

#love sea #love sand #khom #kom #connor #connorkhom #connorkom #mahasamut #tongrak

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