#you know how i finished northanger yesterday?

[televinita]

How many library items do I even have out? Let's find out together!

Books ready to return: 2

Books I need to review before returning: 3 (Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands; Carrie Soto Is Back; The Lily of Ludgate Hill)

CDs: 1 (1989 Taylor's Version. I'm not ready to hear it yet. but I would like the option to do so without Spotify ads. or streams tbh)

Aaand that makes 13 items left, very good. In absolutely no order because I'm just trying to make sure I know where they all are...

1. Cheap Old Houses - Elizabeth Finkelstein: a beautiful coffee table book, apparently based off an Instagram that I (per usual) have never heard of; I am almost done but have been simply luxuriating in the photos. Currently gazing at it on BookOutlet like "$15 is reasonable for a brand new copy of such a large and 5-star book I definitely have space for actually."

2. Another Good Dog: One Family & 50 Foster Dogs - Cara Sue Achterberg: I got about 60 pages in and am loving it, but it was SO GREAT! that I had to pause and put more middling books in front of it to process; been trying to get back for 2+ weeks. That said, when I finish it...

3. One Hundred Dogs & Counting - Cara Sue Achterberg: ...when I finish the above it'll be on to the next one! (maybe? or maybe I'll want to save this 2nd shot of joy for the future)

4. The Break-Up Tour - Emily Wibberley and Austin S.B.: this has taken WAY too much time and effort to get my damn hands on. And then I didn't even read it fast! I started and then got distracted, and only yesterday managed to get up to the halfway mark. At least the request list has cooled off so I will be able to renew it.

5. The Haunting - Natasha Preston: just stocking up some reliably good YA horror for when I really crave those in the summer. This is literally an I-love-cheap-thrills situation.

6. The Joy of Falling - Lindsay Harrel: a random impulse checkout because the cover was pretty and it's about 2 widowed sisters-in-law training for an ultra-marathon in New Zealand that their late husbands had been planning to do. Thought it might serve as exercise motivation.

7. Malibu Rising - Taylor Jenkins Reid: will this suck me in as fast as Carrie Soto did? I dunno, but this is the one I was originally more interested in, so let's see if this is the year we find out.

8. Heirloom Rooms: Soulful Stories of Home - Erin Napier: Speaking of coffee table books I was looking at on BookOutlet, this popped in the "you may also like wheel" and I saw the library had it instead. "a collection of essays walking us through every room in her home, telling the story of a family’s life, of the days that made their home the place she longs for when she’s away. We learn about when they became the new owners of Erin’s dream house from childhood in downtown Laurel, Mississippi, and explore the beautiful homes of family, friends, and projects past in photographs." YEAH!

9. The Wishing Game - Meg Shaffer: I forgot to re-freeze this hold so it came in at the WORST possible time. I've been waiting on this since January and refuse to be rushed or read it if the timing isn't Perfect, so instead I'm gonna be the jerk who keeps it 3 full weeks just in case I get to it; the waitlist remains at 50+ for 7 copies. My ace in the hole is that certain books are WAY less popular in the county next door, where we can dual-register, and they also have 7 copies but only 14 people waiting.

10. Homeward Bound: Why Women Are Embracing the New Domesticity: nonfiction from 2013 that I've been vaguely meaning to read someday. There's only 1 copy left in the system so I checked it out while I was at that branch, but 99% sure I will NOT be getting to it this round. 20 days til my renewals max out.

12. DVD: Northanger Abbey: the JJ Feild spiral I have been trying to find time for since March is clearly not happening right now because WOW Ryan Gosling spiral time instead. But I can't stop believing until my renewals run out, in 3 weeks.

13. DVD: Third Star: see above. somehow holding out more hope for this one, if only because Survivor has hella reactivated my Male Friendship radar, despite these being extremely different types of men. ...just noticed my renewals on this max out in 4 days, oops.

14. DVD: Ghosts (UK), season 3: I was on a hot watching streak and then I abruptly shifted gears to watch the U.S. version's third season instead (because I was too lazy to fight with our Blu-Ray player that throws a fit every time we tell it to play a DVD instead of its favorite format), and now I don't know how to get back in the groove. But I won't give up until they make me! (9 days from now when my renewals max out)

[celticwoman]

THE lady at starbucks wrote 'have a good weekend' on my cup :]

[awrldalone]

15th January 2021, 11.43pm

At 12.30am, I wrote on my notes app: “My eyes are closing as I type, and although this feels like being on vacation more than being on actual vacation, I am exhausted.” 

It is true that these days have been calm. I have almost done no assignments, I have no real duties, but things have been feeling crushing nonetheless. I have to admit I have not been paying attention in class that much - and yesterday I got upset because my teacher made a remark about how she had not heard me in a while when I answered a question. It is not my fault I feel unmotivated. Even if it was, I do not see why my feelings should not be respected.

Yesterday started off well, to be honest. I woke up feeling okay, I was fairly active during my online classes, and I talked to Ryan. It all went down the drain when he told me he needed to tell me something.

It is always scary, I wonder why people do not just say what they need to say. 

He told me he hooked up with someone a few days ago. I should not feel jealous. I have no right to, so I played it off as if it did not concern me. It hurt, though. We kept talking anyway, and he clearly did not think it was a big deal. Rationally, it was not, but it really ruined my day. 

I have been listening to an audio book. It’s for Northanger Abbey, and I found it for free. I finished it today, but unfortunately Jane Austen just is not for me. 

I picked up my sister from school today. My grandparents have stopped going because of covid (I think it id sort of hypocritical of them, since they always help my mother’s brothers with their children). We went to get a hot chocolate, and I got a cappuccino because I had not had one in too long, and then we got home.

Letting myself drown in nostalgia is extremely tempting, I do not even know why I refuse myself so many things. I charged my Nintendo DS this morning, during Latin class, and this afternoon I played Pokemon. I already have two medals. Something about the graphics, the sounds, the music and the jingles makes my brain go wild. 

Is it bad to indulge in a revisioned version of one’s childhood? Maybe part of growing up is accepting what you like. I have never been one to shy away from things because of other people’s judgement - I honestly, to put it plainly, do not give a fuck about what people think. I care about what I, myself, think. Somehow I have decided that things I used to enjoy as a child are things I should not enjoy now.

I wonder if it is narcissistic of me to care only about my own opinion of myself.

-c.

[bell88x9y]

50 Questions

Thank you very much my love for tagging me @annieedisan

what is the colour of your hairbrush? Brown (it’s made from wood)

name a food you never ever eat? Any type of meat

are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Reading a book

what is your favourite candy bar? Don’t have a fav, sry ;)

have you ever been to a professional sports game? No

what is the last thing you said out loud? “Oh come on!” (my wifi wasn’t working properly ... again ... stupid quarantine)

what is your favourite ice cream? Magnum Vegan Almond or anything fruity

what was the last thing you had to drink?  A glass of water

do you like your wallet? Yeah

what was the last thing you had to eat? A handful of mixed-nuts

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Nope

the last sporting event you watched? probably I don’t watch sports

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Sweet and salty mixed

who is the last person you sent a text to? Two colleagues from university (we were preparing a presentation) 

ever go camping? Never ever!!!

do you take vitamins? Yes, I have a metabolic disease where I need to take them as an extra “boost” to my healthy diet

do you go to church every sunday? No, I don’t go to church unless I’m attending a special event (wedding etc)

do you have a tan? Sadly not - white as the wall atm

do you prefer chinese food over pizza? I love both, depends on what I’m craving ;)

Do you drink your soda with a straw? I don’t use straws at all

what colour socks do you usually wear? I only own black and white coloured socks ... so it’s always one of those ;))

do you ever drive above the speed limit? I don’t have a driving licence (we have loads of public transport that get’s me everywhere I need to go)

what terrifies you? I’m afraid of failing and disappointing those around me ... and spiders!

look to your left, what do you see? A book (Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen)

what chore do you hate the most? Ironing

what do you think of when you think of an australian accent? Chris Hemsworth xp

what’s your favourite soda? I only drink soda 2-3 times a year, but when I do drink it I love me some “Bitter Lemon”

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the d-rive thru? Neither (when I eat out at a regular restaurant I go in to eat my food there)

what is your favourite number? 3, 7 and 18

who’s the last person you talked to? My mom <3

favourite cut of beef? I don’t eat meat

last song you listened to? The songs from these four videos on repeat since yesterday : Song 1, Song 2, Song 3 and Song 4

last book you read? Idol (VIP Series) by Kristen Callihan (just finished it today)

favourite day of the week? Saturday and Sunday

can you say the alphabet backwards? Nope

how do you like your coffee? With oatmilk (I’ll froth up the barista one and make it an iced coffee if I’m feeling extra fancy)

favourite pair of shoes? My black medium-heeled boots

the time you normally get up? Atm at around 8-9 am - normally at around 6-7 am (depends on when my first university class starts)

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets

how many blankets on your bed? One

describe your kitchen plates? White china

describe your kitchen at the moment? Small, white country-house style kitchen, some walls are painted in light-green with delicate leaf prints - always clean and tidy

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol

do you play cards? Sometimes

what colour is your car? We don’t have one atm, but all our former cars were red

can you change a tyre? Nope

your favourite state? I don’t know ... never thought about that before

favourite job you’ve ever job? Hopefully my future one ;) When I was little I wanted to either become a police officer or a marine biologist

how did you get your biggest scar? It’s on my upper right shoulder - I fell while running around in the forest, pretending to be a fairy (guess I can’t fly after all xp)

Tagging @highwaybowden @cpdhalstudfan @fromiftowhen @portinastorm and  @cherishingstydia and anyone else who wants to do it! (if i’ve tagged you don’t feel any pressure to do it, if you don’t want to! also sry if you’ve already done it and my stupid brain forgot/didn’t realise!)

[fairytalesandtimetravel]

My adventures into Jane Austen Stories have continued! I have read both Pride and Prejudice and Emma. I have seen both of those in the BBC mini series. I’ve seen both The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and Emma Approved. I also watched 2005 P&P, Lost in Austen and Death Comes to Pemberly. All of those were fantastic! 

Yesterday I watched Northanger Abbey and I loved that one too! I was surprised but how mush I liked it, I didn’t know what to expect. I’m going to buy the novel and read that soon. 

And now I just finished Mansfield Park, that one I wasn’t thrilled with. It was fine, a bit boring, but it was interesting to see another part of society from that time. 

So far the rankings are: 1- Pride and Prejudice (Nerds. Banterrrr. Make each other better people. Do anything for the people they love. Awkward dork who doesn’t know how to person is an ass but turns out to be loved by his household and tries not to be the ass he was bc of the woman he loves. Stick a fork in me, I’m done.) 2-Tie- Emma and Northanger Abbey (literally cannot pick, like I love Knightly and Emma. They both bring out something great in the other and THAT line ‘If I loved you less, perhaps I could talk about it more’, but then the pureness of Catherine and Henry was so cute and he was too good, like he told of his father and went straight to Catherine?!. And!  NERDSSS My weakness lol) 3-Mansfield Park

Next up is Persuasion! Hopefully I’ll get to that Thursday. 

[narrator-scio-story]

Let's Just Have Some Old-Fashioned Fangirling Over Jane Austen

I could call this post "What's Happening 8/29", like I've been doing for a while now.

But seriously, this blog has now evolved from providing short snippets of context about my own experiences in Science Olympiad to explain what I write about in the novel, to begging excuses for why I haven't revised anymore of the novel (news flash - I have no excuse), to now being the primary purpose of my writing.

This is my personal blog explaining the progress of my life.

So it doesn't really make sense to simply name every blog post to show that it's an update on my life from the date it's posted. I want to really explain what I'm going to be writing about in the title, don't I?

So this is a blog post about Jane Austen.

Of course I don't need an excuse to talk about Jane Austen. Why would I need an excuse, how could you ask that?

We've been in the process, the past couple of days, of driving back east after Colorado, in time for school to start. The day before we left I just about managed to finish reading Toni Morrison's Beloved. That was a part of the book pair I'd chosen for my summer reading for AP lit, so I insisted on rereading it in full even though I already read it back in November of 2015 (I know that because I can remember reading it before a certain concert, but whatever, the point is it was a while ago and I needed a refresher). Both the partner book for Beloved and the partner book for Mansfield Park were books I'd bought new on the book this summer and read on the overnight flight to the UK in July, so those were basically the two pairs of books I was choosing between.

Now, I know I'm getting out of order in my history, but I have a confession to make.

A rather embarrassing confession. I can't imagine how my girlfriend would react if she knew.

Not only have I not read Northanger Abbey since 8th grade, and not read Northanger Abbey in its entirety since 6th or 7th grade (aka the first time I read it! Yeek!), but last summer I actually didn't get through all the other Jane Austen novels.

Between my phone and my e-reader, travelling and staying in different people's houses, all the random bookmarks and quotations in different places in the books which I turn to frequently for comfort or to prove a point, I don't actually remember anymore how far I got. So we could say it's very possible I hadn't read Mansfield Park in 2 years.

How had I been getting my necessary fix of Austen instead? Well... Um... Oops... Er... Adaptions?!

Not to mention reading about the 200th anniversary of her death in news stories, but that should've only reminded me of what I was missing. Somehow I was getting the crying-at-happy-endings stuff from adaptions.

So you've heard about all the Netflix adaptions I watched in the UK, I think. And on the British Airways flight back to the US I watched the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice. My sister was shocked that I hadn't seen it before, she claims it's her favorite and she probably hasn't read the book not to mention she couldn't sit through the whole Jennifer Ehle one with me when I rented it on disc years ago. But there you go. I've seen it now, and it wasn't what finally convinced me to do my duty by the novels.

I was only at home, my own house, my own town, for a couple of days, but I did manage to invite my girlfriend to come watch the Gwyneth Paltrow Emma with me one of those days. (Why that one? Because it was the one that was streaming on Netflix. Clueless seems to have been taken off. Not to mention the Gwyneth Paltrow Emma was an Austen movie I hadn't seen before, and yet had tolerable reviews.)

I told her we could judge it's accuracy of the books together. She admitted to me that she'd never actually finished reading Emma because the main character annoyed her so much.

Then after we'd agreed to our plans anyway, she got sick and told me she couldn't come. So I flew out the next day without seeing her, but with it still downloaded within Netflix on my phone.

And eventually in Colorado, one bored afternoon, I have in and watched it on my own. And cried at Mr Knightley's confession of love at the end even though I didn't particularly approve the wording of it. Everything.

Then soon another bored afternoon in Colorado, another afternoon I didn't fancy doing anything productive, I scrolled aimlessly through YouTube and I suppose due to my old (8th grade-era) subscription to the Lizzie Bennett Diaries, found Emma Approved.

I watched as much as I could between my late afternoon discovery and going out to dinner that night. (Actually only 16 or 17 episodes?)

I woke up early the next morning - I couldn't stop thinking about it - and couldn't wait for my parents to be out of the house (for some reason I was determined not to watch it in front of them). Once they left, I devoted about the entire rest of the productive day to watching it, putting off until 9 and then 10 getting out of my pyjamas and showering, returning to the show immediately after, failing to put it down while I ate a breakfast of very old leftovers because anything else was too much distraction, forcing myself to stop for the few minutes I knew that I really, really, really needed to devote to my summer reading in my textbooks for APUSH and AP chem.

I finished the YouTube series quite early in the afternoon and, desperate for more, watched all the Q&A's and Frank and Jane's and even some behind the scenes videos. I had somehow become just so invested in those characters.

And then that night I really couldn't sleep. I must've gotten into bed at a normal time, maybe 10 pm, but I can remember checking my watch at 1 am and feeling not at all sleepy. All because I kept playing through the events of the show in my head. Imagining additional scenarios with Emma and Alex. Thinking about what those characters must have felt.

And in that, above in watching Gwyneth Paltrow's Emma, was the source of my guilt about not rereading Austen recently. I flew through Beloved, which I really did intend to use for my AP lit book, not so much because I'd already read it as because there was something else wonderful which I'd already read waiting for me as soon as I was done. Beloved made me emotional in its way but I was waiting for Mansfield Park, that beautiful home, what had been my favorite of all love stories the first time I read it even if I've since grown to care about others.

So, we spent the last couple of days driving east across Middle American states I've never visited before, me not doing any of the driving because I can't drive, and I've been busy with two of my favorite activities of all time: reading Jane Austen and photographing went turbines.

I got through all of Mansfield Park between yesterday's drive and this morning's, and although I normally go Sense & Sensibility, Pride & Prejudice, Mansfield Park, Emma, Persuasion, I allowed myself to continue directly on into Emma. Not go back to the beginning once I'd covered my bases for AP lit.

I've seen so many adaptions of Emma (Clueless, a Masterpiece Theatre miniseries, the Gwyneth Paltrow one, now Emma Approved) that it seemed like I really did need to check it against the actual story.

I'd forgotten until I saw Emma Approved how much I'd enjoyed the Lizzie Bennett Diaries, back years ago. I just wonder why I didn't try Emma Approved earlier. And now I'm wondering if it would be practical to watch one episode every couple of lunch times with my girlfriend, or something. Of either show. Just to have watched something together, no matter how many times we'd watched it alone.

I still keep thinking of Emma Approved in my sleep, even with several days since I finished and the original books to care about. That was a good adaption, Alex's proposal was closer to what it should've been even if he didn't say "my dearest Emma, for dearest you will always be" and that's the phrase I swear I wait through the entire book for, which makes all of it worthwhile.

And having read so much in the car? To think I used to think that made me car sick!

I am very much a Janeite I think this is obvious by now.