#you know whatd be even funnier than all of this?

[delusional-mishaps]

well guys. since i missed epic's birthday (devastating) have some headcanons :)

he is one of those weaboos who learned japanese so he can watch anime "the authentic way" (his words)

so he's fluent in japanese 💀 he literally only learned it for anime but dude was DEDACTED

he's so cringe guys 😭 i can say that. he's my boyfriend i love him

he would adore those cute anime girl v-tubers. like not in a weird way but he'd watch a lot of them

HE PLAYS GENSHIN 💀 he'd probably main beidou or raiden shogun/ei.. maybe run a full electro team with miko and fischl too 😭 (fischl is his fave character he loves her backstory and her bird thing idk i dont use fischl 💀) he loves the electro characters for some reason idk

HE HAS THE WORST LUCK ON THIS GAME THO. bro has c6 diluc (me too ☹️) and all his artifacts SUCK ASS even tho he'll grind every day

he has to spend money on every banner because he always loses his 50/50 and only gets high pity

ok enough genshin headcanons he's cringe we know this

im here ranting about a game i hate because my dumb boyfriend plays it so much

he hangs out with cross a lot ofc BUT

whenever he hears the word cross used in any context he turns to cross like "CROSS????? BRUH THATS YOU!!" (i always make these jokes. im projecting)

cant believe jesus died on his best friend fr... LMAOOO

he speedruns minecraft. he's NOT GOOD AT IT. but he can do it

he's had his speedruns ruined by creepers like 7 times

one time he somehow got into the deep dark and got killed by the warden??? idk what bro was doing down there in a speedrun dawg 😭

sorry he's a gamer in my head but hes really bad at every game he plays (just like me fr)

he sleeps under like 6 different weighted blankets in the hopes that he wont thrash around when he sleeps but he's too strong and ends up tossing them all off his bed 😭

bro needs to be CRUSHED to fall asleep!! he literally cant fall asleep without the weight

not that he likes to sleep anyway because of the nightmares but whatever. hes gotta do it. unfortunately.

he fights in his dreams ofc thats like canon but bro is throwing punches in his sleep fr

if he gets a partner (me fr!!) they gotta sleep in a different ROOM 😭 he is taking NO CHANCES and tbh thats so fair i wouldnt wanna wake up being beaten up by my bf

he is so ipad baby-core <3 he'll just watch youtube on his ipad all day if u let him but he's an old man and needs his spectacles otherwise he's holding it at arm's length 💀

don't forget bro is literally a doctor?? he's SO smart but he uses his goofy persona as a cover up

im convinced like most of the people that know him actually dont know this. they all think hes dumb as bricks 💀

them he'll casually say smth super smart and everyone is like ???????? HELLO??? SINCE WHEN DID UR BRAIN WORK??

i love drawing epic with glasses guys he looks so cute. but he has old man reading glasses

this the typa shit he wears

AND HE FUCKING. anime glasses 😭

like yk how ppl in anime push glasses up

him fr

AUUGH WHY IS HE SO CRINGE I NEED TO CRUSH HIM

he actually needs his glasses all the time but he doesnt like to look like a NERDD so he doesnt wear them

he makes cross read everything for him

they go out to eat and gotta make him read the whole menu otherwise hes holding it 2cm from his face 💔

"whatd that sign say i cant read it"

"dude the letters are huge how cant you read it"

"oh lol i need my glasses my bad bruh"

"YOU ARE DRIVING A CAR RIGHT NOW????"

actually he cant legally drive. because thats funnier than if he could

id still be his passenger princess <3 i refuse to get my license

anyway guys isnt my boyfriend so silly

im so tiredni needto seelp goodnight smooork mimimumumu

its 3am i neednto get up in 5 hours naioiiooooooo

goodbye guys enhjoy my boyfrien mdgrf

[spinosworks]

a fate worse than getting a call from the county jail

twin au where danny is put on trial in the ghost zone but since the ghost zone's judicial system is a mess they call for a character witness from various periods of his life bc he's still technically living

(a word about the court proceedings. due to the fact that i know next to nothing abt real court and i don't want to do research for a prompt i have no time to write, the entire trial is going to be on some ace attorney bullshit.)

damian gets ghost jury duty (i know it's not jury duty but that was too funny not to write)

as it turns out, getting the news that your brothers ghost is still around from a glowing green figure that materialized in your dining room is not a great way to get news. if you want to start the trial right away, damian is whisked off in his pjs. if he gets some time, it takes place that night. still, it's not a lot of time to process that you're about to see your dead brother who is apparently a criminal.

well dannys always technically been a criminal. murder is very much illegal no matter what age you are.

damian isn't allowed to know what the charges are bc it may influence how he recounts the testimony. this does not bode well to damian.

danny on the other hand does NOT know that damian is even going to be there. so the first time they lock eyes across the court room danny is a complete mess.

but guess what's an even bigger mess? the fact that the last time the twins saw each other they were literal baby assassins.

the character witness doesn't help in the slightest. if anything it goes even worse (but for who?)

damian gets to bond with the ghosts of the far frozen during the recess.

WAIT IS FROSTBITE DANNYS LAWYER?? if so i will only be putting him in more elaborate robes, no matter how funny the idea of him in a suit and tie is. non western traditional garb is professional and i will not fall into that pit.

ANYWAYS

frostbite is dannys lawyer but he's kinda bad at it,,, (the far frozens court system is a lot more straight forward)

he's basically the pheonix wright of the courtroom. he's gonna get the job done but by god is he gonna make some mistakes.

damian is going to have to be his maya or smth. damian is reading the court files (which are horribly put together who wrote this shit??) to try and help frostbite put a case together and???? WTF HAS HIS BROTHER BEEN DOING WITH HIS AFTERLIFE

to those wondering where the rest of the trio are, they weren't allowed to know where the trial is taking place due to their history of helping danny break out of prison. this doesn't stop them from trying to break him out. or stop them from getting help 👀👀

that's right kiddos, they go to gotham. not for the bats, but to figure out why one of the waynes is at one of the most prolific ghost trials in centuries (dannys gone around the block at this point. people are curious to see the verdict, if any)

kitty and jazz are friends so kitty let's slip what's going on and who exactly showed up.

('why the hell is damian wayne there?!')

that's all i have for right now, kinda fond of it so i may write smth short for it.

probably not so go wild with it. anyone is welcome to cannibalize this for parts.

(oh yeah the song i was blasting while writing this was innocent man by billy joel. just thought it'd be funny to mention)