#you post dumb shit you lose phone privileges

[babysaid]

Sel Gomez’s - or the most followed woman on IG - greatest hits, yall 😍

[tainoidiot]

Mornings, Afternoons, Evenings.

Jervis Tetch X FoodServer!reader

NOTES: Based on this dumb post I made about a rogue falling for a worker, but instead of a psychiatrist or doctor it's the fucking food service people. (Maybe I'll even open up my requests soon OoooOooO)

----------

Mornings, Afternoons, and Evenings.

That's when he saw you.

Jervis awoke in his small holding room. It's white. A blinding white. He's tired of the bland exterior, where is the color and whimsy of wonderland when he needs it the most? Not to mention he wore this ugly shade of teal as his robes. Any longer and he'd lose it... more.

Jervis was given small privileges by the staff here and there. He wasn't a high risk patient anymore, so that meant he could have a phone in his room. Sure, he couldn't call anyone outside the asylum and he really only used it to ask for the menu items of the day but it's the thought that counts! Oh, and he has all the paper he could ask for! What for? Um...

Okay maybe he didn't have that many privileges. Really all he does is design hats and color anyway.

7:13 am, the phone rings, startling the middle aged man out of his hat creating zone. He hesitated at first, he never had the phone call HIM. So, curiously, he picked up the phone. "Hello?" Jervis asked.

...

Oh, they're just asking for his breakfast order.

BREAKFAST

The man's hungry. "Oh, where is that o-"

Three knocks interrupt his train of thought, and then the door swings open. "Food service! May I come in?" A sing songy voice asks. He's impressed, was the universe listening to him?

"Er, yes. Come in, dear." He stumbled with his words. The nurses usually gave him a light styrofoam type tray for his food. He must be getting better then.

In walks in a worker Jervis had never seen before. The grey work polo, the black pants and shoes, a dangling ID. It wasn't the appearance that got him curious. It was the voice. He needed to know more.

--------

You walk into the room, tray in your arms as you smiled at the man. "Good morning! Hope I didn't wake you up." You chuckle placing the tray on a nearby table. Truly, your customer service voice got people calm. They trusted you. YOU, however, only got paid 17 an hour. Could you give more of a shit? Maybe if you were given 20 an hour instead.

"Oh, not at all.. um.." The man replied, looking at you with soft eyes. "I thought the nurses delivered our trays?" He asked, looking at the breakfast with a smile. You just shrugged "We have a list of patients who we can't serve to physically, but looks like you're not on it anymore." You nod and pump the hand sanitizer bottle before stepping out of the room.

"Wait!" Cried Jervis. You turned your head curiously "Anything else I can do for you?"

"What's your name?"

-------

LUNCH

Jervis couldn't stop thinking about the delivery person he spoke with. Alice wouldn't work a 9-5, er.. 6-7:30, right? Wonderland is a strange place, however. Nothing is impossible. After only two weeks, Him and that mysterious server seemed to hit it off too. They talked about the mess the styrofoam trays make, especially considering how flimsy they are, how some of the doctors got on their nerves, and the exhaustion that was walking around Arkham. During their chat, they explained that they only really serve the box tea to the patients. "BUT if you ask nicely, I can sneak you some different kinds I find in the storage room." The server joked. Jervis hated the unsweetened tea, it was always cold. Who the fuck serves tea COLD?!

After sending in his lunch order, he prayed he'd see you again. They could talk about literature, as you mentioned you hadn't really been reading much as of late. It was obvious what he'd recommend, but it's the thought that counts. Your eyes, your voice, how you for some reason always smelled like mustard. (Apparently that's just how the kitchen smells)

Knock Knock Knock..

Jervis's ears perked up. Watching the door swing open made his heart flutter. Oh, to see your beautiful face, though half covered in a mask with hair tucked away into a hairnet, he didn't care. All he smiled for was that you were here. "Yes, yes! Come in, dear."

As he finally got a good look at the figure opening his door, he noticed.. wait, that's not you. That's someone else entirely. How cruel the universe was! "Um.. You're not.."

They look up at the man and sighed "Understaffed today. One called out sick, another just quit." Jervis was perplexed. Which one were you? Sick? Oh, he wishes he was there to hold you. You must be miserable, poor dear. Or did you had quit? Did you need a friendly ear to lend? Was today that bad?

The server placed the tray on the table and left. Jervis was left alone with his thoughts again, leg bouncing with anxiety. Did you need help? Did.. you need him? Hid heart ached just thinking about it. Maybe it was too soon, and this was the universes way of saying "slow down there." But he couldn't ignore how he felt.

----------

DINNER

Two weeks.

Two WHOLE WEEKS.

Jervis had been released from Arkham. He hid his true feelings of obsession worry from doctors and psychiatrists taking notes in their little booklets. It wasn't fair! You and him didn't even get to say a proper goodbye! And here he is, angrily huffing about as he steps into the thrift store.

He can't really afford nice things, but the tea cups here were truly pretty enough to catch his eye. Sure they looked a bit scattered when one cup had flowers and kittens and another pictures from nature, but that's Wonderland baby! Scattered and strange. Plus, retail therapy was always good.

As he walked through the kitchen ware aisle, he scanned his surroundings for new tea sets or perhaps a kettle. Not many people entered the thrift store on a Thursday evening, they usually come for the Monday sale. But every once in a while, he'd see someone in the same aisle as him.

And God is he thankful he turned his head. Because there you were. In all your glory.

His breath hitched, heart pounding as his cheeks flushed. It was you, wasn't it? His mind wasn't playing tricks, was it? You turned to face him and stopped.

"... Jervis Tetch?"

He gulped. "Y-Yes?"

"I KNEW IT WAS YOU!" Your smile widened as you walked closer to the man. "Holy crap man, you're out already? I figured you would've been, nice to see you!"

Jervis wanted to take your hand into his warm gloved one. God, he couldn't hold back. But he must. "Aha! Yes, yes.. It's good to see you. I didn't get to say goodbye, what happened?" He asked.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion, then remember what he meant "Oh! Yeah, had some stuff to take care of.. and by that I mean I called off "Sick"!" You giggled. Oh, you silly little rabbit. Jervis sighed in relief. You were safe.

"I'm glad to see you're safe.. could we grab a cup of tea perhaps?"

The store was about to close anyway. What else is there to do for dinner?

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

[kpopchangedme]

Im Jaebeom | Pregnancy!au [M]

Jaebeom read so many baby-related books he's forgotten how to enjoy some simple pleasures... (Oh, and you are obviously cranky and hormonal but he knows better than to tell you that!)

Protagonists: Im Jaebeom & You

Word Count: 2.4k

Genre: NSFW - Newly Weds - Romance - Angst - Pregnancy - Pregnancy sex- Smut || [Drabble 2k]

Prompts: “I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time” + “Should have gotten a puppy.” [Anon]

Lyly's note: Is this sexy pregnancy!au worthy of Things I Wish I Knew or what? lol. Pregnant ladies, go get some! ;)

GOT7 | M.list

You let out a loud swear, stepping on a phone charger someone has somehow abandoned in the middle of the living room. It freaking hurts, like a tiny torture device, tore the sensitive skin of your foot. Of course, when you sit on the couch to examine it, it looks perfectly fine. 

“Should've gotten a damn puppy,” You curse again under your breath, unreasonably livid. 

Instantly, the guilty party's head pops out of the doorframe to his office. “Honey!” Jaebeom considers you from head to toe in outrage, “The Shrimp has ears.”

That's his thing now that the third-semester started; obsessing about auditory development and what the baby is able to hear. Swears, news coverage of dramatic events and loud quarrels are strictly prohibited. He plays music whenever he has the chance, boasting about how you are growing a music whiz. 

Ever since he read his first damn pregnancy book, Jaebeom turned into a helicopter daddy-to-be, always hovering to make sure you are doing everything right. At the end of the third prenatal visit, he decided on moving his whole studio at home to work and mommysit – as he calls it.

By the time he was done with the fourth pregnancy book, you felt like nothing but an incubator to his spawn. That's not exactly what you wished your first year of life together would feel like. But then again, you didn't plan on getting pregnant on your honeymoon, the first time you two ditched contraception. It happened very fast. Everyone called it a blessing and you did too for a while, you were elated. Right until you started to lose your hair and struggle with acne like a damn teenager… Now it varies daily, you are either excited or scared shitless, in high spirits or easily irritable, you can't tell before it shifts. Overbearing, Jaebeom has gotten better than yourself at reading your daily disposition.

When you glare at him, he straightens worryingly in the doorframe, partly to blame for your current mood. “Don't look at me!” You snap in exasperation, still rubbing the sole of your aching foot. “Can you stop looking at me like that?”

He risks taking a few steps in your general direction, expertly assessing the situation, “Like what?”

"Like I’m a ticking bomb; like I'm gonna start yelling at you any second!” Freezing in the middle of the place, he presses his tongue to his cheek. You are almost shouting, but he knows better than to point that out.

“I’m not,” Jaebeom comes to sit by you guardedly. He makes sure not to maintain eye contact for too long, as though you're a dangerous fickle animal. "Did you hurt yourself?"

You hiss threateningly at the question but he still reaches for your perpetually bloated foot. Gently, he massages it, flashing you a dumb innocent smile. Still sullen, you at least allow him to do that much.

Fine, you do not completely hate having your man work from home. 

“I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time...” 

“Moody?” You cross your arms over your chest and Jaebeom chuckles, shaking his head. “You're the living definition of serene honey... You're the best. I love you.”

“Shuddup.” Groaning at the fake compliment, you offer your second foot after a minute of pampering, slightly appeased. “Stop trying so hard, it turns me into a cliché bitch.” You don't miss Jaebeom’s grimace at the word, but he isn't brave enough to correct you again. “Tell you what, if the baby's first word is a swear... I’ll do everything you ask of me for a year.”

"Everything? A whole year?” Raising his eyebrows suggestively, Jaebeom leans in for a lengthy kiss. “You know I can't say no to a promise like that. I would abuse that power, I’m quite imaginative.” You laugh against his mouth, sliding your arms around his neck for him to linger a little longer. Your hub has one hell of a gift, he can always change your mood, even on the worst days. That being said, you're always in the mood for some sexy time with him lately. You just have limited positions and flexibility. “I might teach the Shrimp your favourite cusses just to win that privilege.”

“You wouldn't dare.”

Laughing, Jaebeom sits back but you follow, managing to climb him without difficulty. It's clear he has started something with his massage, stirred your desire. “I’m not done,” he warns pointlessly, not talking about you, "I'm working hard." He points his chin to the studio, but you don't climb down. There's no way he believes you will let him go back to his office right now.

“Very hard yeah,” chuckling, you pull at the collar of his shirt, “Mister Producer.” He breaks the kiss to get rid of the piece of clothing himself, eager to entertain your favourable disposition. Some sacrifices are harder to make than others, and taking a break from work for quick sex is a no brainer. Your hands roam his shoulders, even after all this time you still can't get enough. “Did you save it?” Nudging your nose to his, you pull away to throw your loose gown over your head. 

Jaebeom groans, already expertly unhooking your bra, “Of course I saved, but I’ll need to get back to it...” His mouth explores your neck and you throw your head back, savouring every single one of his kisses. “Feeling better?” He hums, lightly sucking your skin and you moan. Fine, having your man work from home is the best damn thing that ever happened to you. At your natural response, Jaebeom cups your swollen breasts, thumbs rubbing circles on your areolas. 

“Shit.” Instantly, he shushes in disapproval making you laugh. You lean into him as much as your 29 weeks belly allows. “I can't help myself, I'm too sensitive.”

“I can see that baby,” Jaebeom marvels as his constant stroking of your nipples makes your thighs jerk. “I read third-semester’ orgasms are incredibly intense...” You rise to your knees to slide his fleece jogger pants down, smoothly freeing his erection. These darn books sure reveal some useful information sometimes… “What do you think?”

“Oh, how would I possibly know that?” He stops altogether, freezing under you at the joke. Barely two days prior, you finished twice before he did – very expressively – but still, he hesitates. For a man as skilled as he is, it sure is easy to make him question himself. Jaebeom is contemplating his life, a dubious look on his face when you take his cock in your palm. His eyes shut, goosebumps spreading on his body at your touch. Smirking, you stroke him leisurely, “I guess you’ll have to keep working hard so we can find out.” You say that but really, you’ve been so hypersensitive lately, he could make you reach your high without even trying.

“You know...” Opening his eyes lazily, Jaebeom frowns; “I'm not sure how I feel… About the Shrimp is hearing all our sexy talk...” It's your turn to stop everything.

Oh no, he did not just say that… Not after all the stuff he put you through!

“I swear to God, Im fucking Jaebeom! I let you have your way until now; I gave up caffeine, cheese and fish…” Suddenly livid, you start checking things off of your fingers. “You are worried of dumb stuff you read about despite the doctor's best opinion... So, I let you hire a cleaning service; I stopped driving myself around and dyeing my hair; I allowed you to post our ultrasounds all over your socials; I didn't say anything when you sent the cats away to your mom's…” His mouth is open in awe as you angrily go on. He's clearly racking his brain to find out what he said wrong. Him and his stupid pregnancy obsessions. “But this... This is where I draw the fucking line Jaebeom. If you stop making love to me because it creeps you out... Honest to God, I will murder you. I don't care what the baby hears. The doctor said it was safe. I want sex, I need sex. Give me sex, or I'll destroy you.”

“Honey,” Jaebeom bites his lips, struggling to conceal his amusement, “I wasn’t saying we should stop. It doesn't bother me like that...” His right palm rubs your lower back in repetition to ease you. “I was just wond–”

“I don't care what you wonder about,” you interrupt, still down, “just do me.”

Before Jaebeom can fully laugh at you flaring over nothing again, you're kissing him roughly, intended on getting your way. Wriggling under you to get to a better angle, he doesn't seem too affected, simply enjoying the hormonal rollercoaster ride. One of the actual perks of your pregnancy is being in the mood quickly and it's more than just your desire, it's physical too. Something that is undeniable when his hand finds its way between your legs. You're ready for him already, wet and messy. Though you rock into his palm briefly, there's only one thing on your mind right this instant. 

You don't want to wait any longer to feel him inside you. You use Jaebeom's shoulder as a fulcrum to position yourself, raising on your knees and he helps, holding his cock as you gradually sink down. Once you're sitting back on him on the couch, filled, you pause, dropping your forehead to his. Eye to eye, out of focus, Jaebeom pecks your lips tenderly. His hands caress your belly on their way to the side of your thighs. That's enough to make you soft all over again. The power that man holds over you knows no limit. Careful, you rise, rocking your hips forward to add friction before sliding back down. This lazy back and forth goes on for a while and every time you fall down and your ass meets his thighs with a clap, you feel like breaking. 

“Okay?” Jaebeom mumbles, using his strength to firmly guide you upwards. You're thankful for his help because you're heavy and tired. You nod, letting out a weird throaty sound when he fills you up once more.

Jaebeom chuckles, entertained by your acute senses and unusual reactions. Sliding on the large couch to lay, he makes sure you follow closely, riding him. From this position, he can take better control, raising his hips to slam into you. You coo when he does, hovering above to let him have his way. You're already too taken by so little. There's a gentle thud in your belly at the shift of position but Jaebeom doesn't seem to feel the baby stir, awakened by your unrest. Thank God, because the last thing you want right now is for him to stop or slow down. It's not something abnormal or new at all, but now that the baby's movements are getting more noticeable from the outside, you wouldn't be surprised if it messed up with Jaebeom's sexy groove. In the dark, he picks a swift pace, thrusting faster but lighter, making sure to stretch this moment for as long as you both can.

Yet, you're shaky and unfocused, unable to calm yourself. Way too fast, you come undone, overwhelmed by the friction and pleasure. Ecstatic, you drop on your hands, on all fours, as your intense orgasm washes through you. Aware you're peaking already, Jaebeom maintains his rhythm, breathlessly laughing at your shortage of stamina. Sure, he was right, pregnancy orgasms are amazing but they also come almost unannounced and are ridiculously exhausting.

Losing the smile, Jaebeom frowns in concentration, probably trying to finish too. After a whole minute, you're still being carried by your own paroxysm, core quavering when his hips halt altogether. Sighing deeply, he cums in spurts inside you, letting go probably more hastily than he would have wanted to. He's a team player. He knows you won't be able to handle him for long after oversensitivity hits you.

Afterwards, you both stay like that for a moment – as one – trying to repossess yourselves. Some days, it's like you're an entirely different person. Food doesn't taste the same, you yell at your caring husband over nothing and your orgasms are absurdly drawn-out. 

“Hey,” Jaebeom speaks up after an eternity and you take it as a cue to pull away, letting him fall out of you, “that was very quick. Are you alright, was it good?” Typical of him lately, being so overly concerned, you snort. Reaching for the tissue box on the coffee table, he offers them up so you can clean yourself. Still overpowered, you nod, laying back naked on the couch to do so.

What a sight it must be, a stranded whale in the middle of his living room.

Jaebeom doesn't seem to see that though. Transfixed, he positions himself to comfortably kiss and hold your heavy belly. His fingers linger, tracing patterns over the stretched skin. “What about you Shrimp?” He asks mouth pressed to the bump, tickling. “How are you doing?” Sure enough, the baby rolls, following the sound of his familiar reassuring voice. 

“We definitely woke her up”, you announce casually, grabbing one of his hands to position it better. Now that it's over, hopefully, he won't mind or get weirded out by that idea. “And you’ll need another nickname, we're both getting huge.”

“Sorry,” Jaebeom apologizes with adoration when there's a more obvious kick. To him, his baby girl's tumbling never gets old. To you neither, but it's a different sensation entirely. Whispering in confidence, he adds, “You'll always be a shrimp to me." At the words, you can't help the flutters you feel, not from the baby. When he looks up this time, Jaebeom doesn't seem as apprehensive of your reaction. You're on the magical post-coital cloud of happiness, together. “What?” If it could, your heart would physically expand from emotion at the sight, swelling with unconditional love. As an only answer, you run a hand through his locks and he cutely grins. “Shrimp, I think we're safe for now. I don't think mommy wants to murder daddy anymore...”

“Daddy needs to get over himself,” you dramatically roll your eyes, smiling, “he knows mommy loves him, no matter what…”

GOT7 | M.list

[calypsoff]

Seven. Part 2

I am still angry; I am so angry at everything. Pushing the motel door open, it banged on the wall harshly, I am angry at that bitch and she is still here following me, the fucking nerve “TJ, take Seiko and take her into our room” Barry said behind me, turning around facing her. Seiko is still here in front of me “let’s speak like adults, did you cheat on me with Rihanna?” she is being deadass “do you know how crazy you sound right now? Me? Rihanna are you crazy. I ain’t cheat, you are losing your mind. Either way we are over” I pointed between us, I want her gone “Seiko, let me speak to him yeah? Then we can take it from there” Barry stood in front of me “speak to your damn friend, he has lost his mind. I wish he never took me to see that bitch!” Seiko is fucking crazy, this toxic bitch is actually bringing out a shit side to me “just take her yeah, I will come to the room when he has calmed down, when everyone has calmed down” I feel so stressed, I feel her voice is ingrained in my mind and it’s not because I dislike her but because I have been trying to hide away from her mostly, I feel I am at this crossroad where I keep making stupid jokes to make it seem like everything is ok when it’s not, it’s really not. I see pictures and I am like I could have that but she’s just up there, top tier “so shall we finish what we started, you came back and said nothing really happened, all was good and shit. What the fuck? I am trying to comprehend this; see in High School I thought you both dating like I saw it. We all would be hanging out but you two would be stuck together, like twins. Then you would play her off because we would tease you but wow, she actually admitted to loving you or love you now?” turning to Barry “yeah” I breathed out.

Sitting on the bed across from Barry “she loves me, she said she loves me, and she said it twice. I think twice but I didn’t say it to her, I mean I just went there to see what is up. I didn’t expect to go there to see her, to sit in that SUV and feel what I did with her. My intention was not sex, I promise it wasn’t because we never had sex that time, even thought you assume. Robyn at the time, I tried it and she wasn’t ready, she didn’t want it. I was ok with that, but she left, I always thought it was me. But y’all ran with the fact I did when I didn’t so yeah, she said that she was scared at that time, she was a virgin she lied to look cool I guess, but it’s like. When I was looking around the apartment, I stood in the bedroom overlooking central park. I felt her there, I felt her every time near me. She did initiated sex, and I think she knew that I wouldn’t after I told her I thought it was my fault but without even thinking, without even trying Barry, I made love to her. It happened, it just happened, and I couldn’t control it at all, I just felt the connection go deeper then me knowing my school friend. Like I was holding her hands having sex with her, looking into her eyes. Bro, it’s bad. And then she got me angry on the last night, and I was like fuck it. And I fucked her without even caring and I hated that. Because I think I hurt her in a way, not sure but I laughed it off. I don’t know bro. I am in this mess” I laughed; Barry stared in shock “I need a moment” he said.

Barry really meant it when he said he needed a moment, this nigga is thinking hard “so you made love to her without you even realising?” nodding my head “so what is the deal, why are you still here then?” I laughed “it’s not easy Barry, like people think I should jump and go to her because she is Rihanna and she’s got money. Yes she does, but I am a man bro. I haven’t seen it first hand, but I looked at every picture on her Instagram and she lives that life niggas want, man. She is taking pictures with the biggest rapper out there, private jets, driven everywhere, five star apartments. You know? And there is me, borrowing off you to get there and I still owe you eight hundred dollars, I need to be in line with her to be at her level. She is so unreachable to me; my fear is that. My fear is that I can’t reach her, and I want to reach her, but she’s above me no matter what words she tells me, no matter how she says I am not that, she is. She is there but I can’t get to her, I am just stuck” it takes a lot to admit to it, and I have verbally now “you seemed pretty sad since you have come back, TJ even said it must have gone bad, but it has gone bad I guess, you have formed this feeling with her. You can’t explain it, but we know, we both know. But I see it, I get it. Like Rihanna is out of our reach but I don’t think she is out of reach for you bro, I think she loves you like you said so I think maybe you should take it slow. If you want to make some easy money I would say drug deal but then you just ruining your chances. Ok let’s take it out of the equation, let’s say you go to her as you. What would she treat you like?” I paused thinking, sighing out “good, I know Robyn would treat me good. She just wanted me to give, and I couldn’t. I uhm, I just closed off and got angry at myself. I paid for this fancy meal she took me on, we argued again then” Barry chuckled “nigga, get her pregnant. Be a stay at home dad, that is the plan” I laughed shaking my head “but I know you, you feel bad. I can’t believe you roughed her up in bed? Was you that bad?” nodding my head “I think I was; I was angry. The hug was cold, I tried to catch her attention by holding her hand, but things were sore between us, so yeah. I have a lot of shit to think on” rubbing the top of my head “she loves you, and if we being real you do too” putting my head down.

Staring at Mel laughing to myself “eat your damn breakfast bitch!” I spat, Mel put her hand up and got up from the chair “she is suffering bad” Leandra said, watching her run off. She deserves it, I had to drag her ass back to the home, not only that she started drinking when we got back again, I don’t know why she was trying to go all out, maybe something is going on with her “so girls, did you all have a good night? Are you all staying with me here? I have the River Island meeting, bitch is about to design some clothes” I clapped my hands together, I am so excited “of course, we can just discover London while you do that. But I was speaking to Monica, she said that she is so proud of you. Something you always wanted to do, to design clothes” I am actually nervous and excited about this venture “Jay Brown is coming tomorrow so that will be fine, that nigga be making me work! Like nigga please. I need to breathe but yeah, I got that venture and then album, and then tour. It rolls on like that. Make that money” my phone started to vibrate on the table, frowning looking over “uh” why is fuckyopictures trying to facetime me through Instagram, that is odd but will ignore it “who is that huh?” Leandra peaked over to see “nobody” waving her off, the call stopped. I am not giving him any facetime privilege; he lost that one a while ago. Going onto Instagram, tapping on my inbox and ignoring the amount of random shit that is being said, tapping on fuckyopicture, he doesn’t even message me on this anyways.

Badgalriri:

???

Pressing send and placing my phone on the table “very secretive I must add, I really don’t understand why are you being this way” rolling my eyes “its that skinny man she likes, erm. Christ? Chris? Whatever. He is a tall skinny man with a tiny little nose” Jen is such a bitch “shut up, please ignore her” Jen just cackled “oh is it that Christopher, oh ok. You both getting on?” she winked, looking at my phone, he has messaged back.

Fuckyopictures:

Did you enjoy when we met last time? Was the sex good?

Badgalriri:

You got a fucking nerve

Fuckyopictures:

So did you?

Badgalriri:

Why aren’t you just normal!? Seriously, you text me dumb shit like that. This is why I don’t bother, and don’t bother facetiming me either.

I am literally over him, like he’s just full of shit and at that moment my phone started to ring, he has a nerve to call me also “what?” I answered “because I didn’t want to answer your facetime now you calling me? What? You’re going to ask me something stupid now” I snapped, I snapped because I am sick of it, he can’t have a normal conversation with me “I didn’t facetime” he said, I sniggered “you did, you tried to facetime me on Instagram, just because I followed you don’t mean you can use that privilege to contact me on there” the phone line went silent “that isn’t me, the bitch is on my Instagram. You didn’t say anything to her, Barry you better get her before I do” what bitch is he on about, then I realised “oh, your girlfriend huh. Ok, well this is fun. Well have fun with dealing with that. I am eating breakfast, bye” disconnecting the call “girlfriend? Oh my god, what drama have you got yourself into” placing my phone on the table “short story, Chris has a girl that he refuses to get rid of, she doesn’t trust him, has his passwords. We had sex and I guess she knows and is messaging me on there, I am now waiting for a shade room post on me whoring myself” Leandra cackled “fuck me, girl you having sex with regular hood niggas now? I mean ok you knew him before, what happened? You know this is going to blow” I shrugged “I stopped caring, I did care but I stopped. I didn’t text her anything that confirms we did anything so there is that” she can go and cry into a pillow or some shit, I don’t care.

New Year’s Day and I have nothing to do but just rest, me and the girls are re-watching Bridesmaids, but my mind is not really in it, looking down at my phone and it’s like he knew I was going to text him because he has text me first.

Twin:

Sorry about her messaging you, she doesn’t have my passwords anymore. We split….

Robyn:

That is nice to hear, she sounds like a psycho

Twin:

She is…. So when can I see you again?

Robyn:

Idk………. I am here for two weeks now and then Miami. I am unsure when I will be near the vicinity, I have my album to work on and this clothing deal I did. Couple of shows around there too. I will let you know when I need a service

Twin:

Lmao! Uhhh well when you can fit me in your busy schedule I don’t want to service you but I would like to see you but I guess you too busy for me

Robyn:

Busy yes but you can call, hope you had a good New Year anyways. Least you started it being single! You didn’t even like the girl anyways but I full on expect some drama to appear with that.

Twin:

Just remember me when you can make time….. like I did you

I am not even sure what he wants me to do, fly over to him when he has half assed done things. Now possibly got his psychotic ex speaking to the blogs with the notion that Chris and I had sex, it’s not a lie I am busy, but I am not going to put myself out there like I did before. I will probably be able to pop over to see him when I go back to the US but I will mention that closer to the time I guess, let him sweat it out but it will be for sex I can imagine.

[notinthemaps]

Know before you go and what I’ve learned from traveling:

It’s not a race. I was always so bummed about the number of countries I’ve been to compared to other people my age until I understood that the number of places visited is not what traveling is about at all. It’s not important about how many places you’ve been but the depth you’ve explored them. I have been to some beautiful places all around the world that I am insanely grateful for and it’s incredibly toxic to compare my journey to others.

Traveling is an absolute privilege. Before you spew “everyone can travel, it can be done so cheap!” recognize where you come from. 

Before you book that trip to Haiti or Cambodia to “go build a school” or volunteer at an orphanage, research the hidden harm that is involved with your short term stay. Your good intentions can actually be causing harm within these communities. 

This also accounts for volunteering at animal and wildlife sanctuaries as well. You could unknowingly be volunteering at a place that secretly participated in “canned hunting”. So many sanctuaries have been accused of this in the past and I’m sure they’re still out there. Now, not all places are bad, just make sure your money and time are going towards something that will really help ethical animals and wildlife sanctuaries. This is where it’s important to do your research.

Clean. Get rid of shit. Simplify to the necessities. Pack light. The weight of your luggage is equally proportionate to your misery while traveling. I’ve learned this the hard way. 

You have the power to choose love. Always choose to love.

Stop the exploitation of animals as you travel. Meaning the Luwak cafes in Indonesia where you drink the coffee after the Luwak has digested the coffee beans. Stop swimming with dolphins, participating in lion walks, taking photos next to chained up tigers, riding elephants, camels, and donkeys/mules. These animals are most likely not taken care of very well. There have been times where I have been guilty of giving in to attending these places because they sound great (who doesn’t want a photo with a lion next to you?) but in hindsight, these attractions are most likely incredibly unethical and there’s a lot of physical/emotional harm that is involved with the training the animals.

Reduce your use of plastic abroad. 

Going alone is okay. If we all waited for someone to travel with us, we’d be waiting for a very, very long time. So, please go even if you have no one to go with. There are millions of people all over the world that are just waiting to meet you. Some of them you’ll meet in a hostel room and you’ll end up spending the night walking through the street markets, some of them you’ll meet at a bar and discover new corners of a city you didn’t know existed, some of them you’ll meet sitting on a bench at a bus stop and you’ll end up sharing the best coffee you’ve probably ever had, some of them you’ll meet watching the sunset on the beach and you’ll end up sharing stories and laughing with them until the morning and some of them will end up being your best friends. And sometimes you’re going to be alone and going on tours, to the movies, or to restaurants sounds scary to do by yourself at first but soon enough you’ll learn that it is completely okay to be alone. Solo does not mean lonely.

Don’t say you don’t like anything until you try it more than once.

Save your change.

One of the most reassuring things in this world is that you are never stuck anywhere. You are never unable to leave.

Don’t avoid taking care of your mental health when abroad. Traveling is exhausting and not always rainbows and butterflies. Your mind and body are still important. 

Write about your favorite moments, your least favorite moments, ideas, people you’ve met, strangers you’ve walked past on the street, favorite quotes, words to remember, what the sky looked like at 7pm, new songs you’ve discovered and what they mean to you, places you want to go or places you’ve been, write about your passions, how you feel in this exact moment, draw out the mountains, scribble all over the pages. And when that one gets full, buy a new one. Reread it in 2 years, 20 years, when you need a good laugh, when you’re upset and can’t get out of bed, read it to your children. You need to remember these moments in your life. They are so important.

Spend less time on social media. It’s no secret that social media is addictive and it’s really good at taking away precious moments. It’s important to not be glued to your phone or laptop while abroad. Social media will always be there for you when you get home.

Traveling is overly romanticized. It is very hard work. It does not solve all the problems that you have at home. And traveling is not what it looks like on Instagram. Please don’t feel bad because your experience doesn’t feel the way that it looks like it should on Instagram. 

When you’re eating, really taste your food. Talk to the locals. Immerse yourself fully into this new culture. When you’re out hiking, let go of your phone. This is how you’re going to get the best experience possible. Live in the moment. 

Take photos. It is physically impossible to remember all these moments in your life. Someday down the road, maybe when you’re feeling a little depressed or bored, you can grab your camera and scroll through these photos that’ll remind you of some of the best times of your life. Ask permission before you take a photo of someone. Ask permission to post it on social media (if these are your intentions) and let them know 1,000s of people will have access or will be seeing these photos. Remember: kids can never consent. Just don’t take photos in orphanages or schools. It’s really important to be respectful. People are not props.

Usually, no one wants to hear more than a few sentences about your trip when you come home other than your mom. And the references you make months after your trip, “when I was in...” will sometimes result in an eye roll. Shake it off. I know it can be hurtful but it’s best to just keep it to a minimum for your own sanity. 

It’s okay to look like a tourist. Visit the big touristy places and take your picture pushing against the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You’re not better than every other traveler just because you skipped the popular areas. 

Learn the basics of the language before you go. “where’s the bathroom? how are you? what's your name? My name is..” Always remember it’s your fault for not learning the language of the country you're in, it’s never anyone else's fault for not knowing English. Keep the language barrier frustration to a minimum. Hand gestures, a smile, and patience can go a long way!

You’ll probably get sick at some point. Be prepared for it with a little first aid kit! It’s always a good idea to have insurance. 

It’s important to not judge the way in which other people travel. I’ve met people who have planned their travel to the point where they do not participate in any tourist activities and live off one meal a day and then I’ve met people who pay for every excursion in every city they go to. And I find my initial thoughts to be “...but why?” and I eventually snap out of it and realize it’s not my place to judge how people travel. Everyone experiences places in their own unique, meaningful way. And I mean who really cares if someone is traveling the world full time on mom and dad's money? It doesn’t affect you. 

Cheesy souvenirs are never worth it. Collect sea glass, your train tickets, plane tickets, maps, stickers, and coins. Chances are those Colosseum magnets you bought in Rome were really made in China. Support the locals if you’re going to buy souvenirs.

Slow down.

Google the tipping etiquette within the country you’re visiting before you go. Some places it’s rude, some places it’s the only income someone has. Don’t be the person who “didn’t know” when the information is a 5-second google away. 

Jetlag freaking sucks but it happens to all of us.

Be prepared to be uncomfortable and be open-minded. You’ll probably wash your clothes in a bucket or sink, sleep in dirty beds or on airport floors, be forced to eat with your hands even though you’ve never done it or go without toilet paper for weeks at a time! It’s all apart of the journey. 

The world is not as bad and scary as the news makes it out to be.

Nothing will ever go as you expect it to. Plans go out the door. I learned this the hard way. In fact, I am sure every traveler has learned this the hard way. You’ll miss flights, you’ll get flat tires on road trips, you’ll end up spending a lot more money than you expected, you’ll miss buses, you’ll have to run to trains to get to them on time, I promise you’ll have a dead battery when all you want to do is call mom to make you feel better, the hostel you wanted will be full, your dumb airline will lose all your luggage, things will get canceled and you’ll spend many unexpected nights crying but despite all the struggles that traveling brings upon us, it is always worth it. The tears, sore shoulders and blistered feet are always worth it. There’s no point in getting mad that your plan fell through.

We are all going to make mistakes as travelers. We have to become better researchers and better listeners. Ignoring the requests of locals or the cultural differences is absolute ignorance and another example of flaunting your privilege. Just because you are a tourist and contributing to the economy of other countries does not mean it’s okay to be disrespectful and act as you please. However, we’re going to make mistakes and it’s important to not beat yourself up over it. What’s important is how we respond. Don’t be scared to ask questions. 

[infinitestarsintheskye]

Agents of Shield Series Finale thoughts (finally)

Or alt title Skye finally sits down to write this after two days of being overtired, overwhelmed and as a result, anxious! Feeling a WHOLE lot better today after a few anxiety naps and watching Phineas and Ferb on Disney + (that show is just pure serotonin I swear) 

God what can I say that hasn’t already been said. I’m so beyond happy. I have no idea what my expectations were but by god were they exceeded. I cannot say enough how happy I am. They saved the world with empathy. How utterly beautiful. The endings everyone got were all just so utterly utterly deserved. I’m still in shock really. 

If you haven’t already guessed it, I did not make it to my alarm at half past 6 on Thursday morning. I woke up at quarter past 5 after barely three hours of sleep and just could not help myself. I finished, cried for two hours and collapsed for another hour and a half. And she wonders why she’s felt like utter shit the past two days...

ANYWAY

DEKE DEKE MY WONDERFUL MY MOST DEAREST DISASTER SON!!!!!!!!! I love him so much. I know he’s happy in alt. 1983 but losing him was honestly such sweet sorrow. I had a feeling that he would sacrifice himself but I could not have guessed that it would happen in honestly such a good way. He still gets to live, gets to be the director of Shield (god help them) and I’m equally happy and devastated for him. I love Deke so much, he is very dear to me, and the money I would pay for a miniseries of him just absolutely killing it as Shield director in the 80′s with his side business of being a popstar, like the amount doesn’t exist. Also his impersonation of Fitz was so incredibly hilarious, Jeff Ward actually does a not bad Scottish accent and the IMMEDIATE adoption of the pregnant lady pose just ABSOLUTELY SENT ME!!!!!!!!!!

Mack. I’m so happy he lived. His team up with Sousa will forever give me life. Them taping goddamn chronicoms to the missiles to blast a hole in the ship, like whoever came up with that idea, you are now my favourite human on this earth. It is so supremely dumb but I love it so much. As much as there was BIG concern going into this that he was going to die, ta Henry, I never once felt worried for him. Like he never even came close???????? Also a raise to whoever put him in that big long jacket at the end like oh my god are you serious, AMAZING

Yoyo. I had NOT A SINGULAR CLUE, NOT EVEN AN INCLINE of what was going to happen to Yoyo. Her little team up at the end with Piper and Davis (DAVIS ROBO!DAVIS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS BICKERING WITH PIPER WE LOVE TO SEE IT) was beyond incredible. Yoyo had such a great arc this season, and I’m just so happy to see it concluded so well, plus that shot of her zooming out of the car at the end was beyond A+ it was beautiful.

May. May, wonderful May. Her appearing OUT OF GODDAMN NOWHERE TO JUST ABSOLUTELY END SIBYL IS JUST FOREVER GOING TO GIVE ME LIFE. THE CAVALRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so intrigued with where they were going with her arc this season, like I enjoyed empath May but I was so curious to see where it was going and oh what a pay off it was. I literally shouted AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH at my screen when she put her hands into that machine and Coulson explained it, BECAUSE IT ALL JUST MADE SENSE. Also it was 100000000000000000000% her idea to name it Coulson Academy, and no one disagreed with her. I loved her little call back to S1 with her just being the pilot. In general I thought all of the call backs were very well handled and placed, nothing felt too fan servicey it was all very natural and organic bc these writers really just know what they’re about and are just so incredibly good at their jobs. ANYWAY MAY. I’m happy that she’s getting a little bit of rest from the field, she absolutely deserves it. 

Coulson. I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t sure about Robo!Coulson when he was introduced at the end of last season, but my god am I so happy for him now. He is truly the heart of this show, the whole thing began because a stubborn group of fans refused to accept that he had died. And really isn’t that a theme that has carried us through this entire show haha? I was so terrifed for about 30 seconds that Sibyl was going to turn him against the rest of the team, so the RELIEF of May popping out of the ceiling to JUST END HER ENTIRE CAREER WAS INCREDIBLE.  The reappearance of Lola ABSOLUTELY SENT ME. I also love that after years of Coulson refusing to let Mack work on Lola, Mack just went “Fuck it” and built one from, I assume, scratch. He is going to be the best Grandpa to little Alya Fitzsimmons and you can tear that headcanon from my cold dead hands. Again, what a deserving ending. I could not be happier for him, that last shot was just perfect. 

Daisy. Oh boy, we’re getting into my heafty emotions now. I would just like to say that her entire arc throughout this entire show is one of the most incredible, most amazing and well crafted and well thought out characters arcs in television history. Watching her go from this lost little hacker with a bit of a smart mouth, to this strong and powerful LITERAL SUPERHERO has actually been a privilege and I cannot stress enough how much I have loved watching her grow and evolve over the past seven years. That being said, I am low key FURIOUS that they made me think that she was dead for even just a SECOND. I WAS SOBBING NO AT MY PHONE FOR THAT ENTIRE LITTLE INTERLUDE LIKE NO FUCKING WAY ARE YOU GOING TO KILL HER OFF AND LEAVE HER BODY IN SPACE I WILL NOT LET YOU, LET ME GO SHARPEN MY PITCHFORK I AM COMING FOR YOU. I will now invite you to imagine the look of absolute and utter joy and relief on my face when I saw she was alive. Skye/Daisy holds such a special place in my heart. Her whole thing with Sousa this season was SO UTTERLY OUT OF THE BLUE BUT SO INCREDIBLY DELIGHTFUL AND DESERVED!?!?!?!??!?!!?!? Like out of everything I think that little plot detail is what surprised me the most, and I surprised myself by really loving it as much as I did. I would have been happy if she had ended the series single but I’m so happy that she has this wonderful partner who loves her so much and has her back and just looks after her like it’s just like the most wonderful added bonus which she deserves. Sousa is also like a whole ass snack and as I have been saying in my tags for the past few weeks, DAISY GET IT!!!! I love that she ended the series with her own little family, her sister and Sousa. I just. I cannot even think about that without welling up. Daisy has a family, and she chose it and she loves them all so much. I know it was last weeks ep too but I will never get over her calling Simmons her sister. Never ever ever for as long as I live. I’m so happy for her. So beyond happy.

FitzSimmons. Here we, here we, here we fucking go. What to even say apart from big, long and loud sobbing noises, cause that’s all I have really been able to do in regards to them for the last two days. Happy isn’t a strong enough word. There is no word big enough, nor all encompassing enough to say how utterly UTTERLY happy I am that they got their most beautiful happy ending. Fitz guiding her through her memories, the second Jemma said Alya I started screaming, I just I knew that was her name, and him just being so gentle with her whilst she was remembering, like oh my heart. I excuse them everything, the lack of Fitz (WHICH WAS NO ONE’S FAULT I WILL NOT HAVE ANYTHING ABOUT THAT HERE) this season was honestly just paid back tenfold in the scenes that we got of him. His frustration IMMEDIATELY at everyone not understanding their plan was so amazingly hilarious. Simmons half remembering everything was both heartbreaking and hilarious, the scene of her asking for a supersuit like Daisy’s was incredible and both Deke and Daisy responding to her like she was a child they needed to trick into doing something for them, like yes if you come with us you’ll get a supersuit and a bit chocolate, incredible. The acting in both episodes from both IDC and Elizabeth was just truly something else. The fact that neither of them have been nominated EVER for their work on this show is nothing less than criminal. Her face when she remembered Alya. Dear god my heart. I have watched that scene of them reuniting with her at least 3000000000000000000000 times since Thursday morning. I won’t ever forget it. What a beautiful scene. What an incredible scene. “You were guarding our everything.” SHE’S THEIR EVERYTHING. THEIR UTTER EVERYTHING! I’M ACTUALLY LIKE SOBBING WRITING THIS I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE GET OVER THE FACT THAT THEY LET FITZSIMMONS LIVE IN PEACE FOR FOUR WHOLE ASS YEARS, LET THEM HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY GIRL AND THEN LET THEM LIVE IN PEACE AGAIN I JUST!!! I HAVE WANTED THIS FOR THEM FOR SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO VERY LONG!!! (also @ marvel I’m not in a place where I want any kind of continuation or spin off at the moment but I would watch a FitzSimmons miniseries of them just being happy and domestic and working in space for 4 years. Just SOMETHING to consider) I cannot thank the writers enough for finally finally letting them have their happy ending. They have been through so much, and it was all worth it because it led them to their happily ever after and to their little girl and I just, that is everything. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! I have talked a lot in this post about people deserving their endings but honestly none more than FitzSimmons. Fitz playing with Alya in their little garden whilst Simmons watches with the biggest smile on her face. How perfect. I could not have dreamt a better ending for them I’m so so so so so SO beyond happy for them. And god that little girl is just the most precious. Her gleefully exclaiming “Mama!” at Simmons is the EXACT moment that I started sobbing and did not stop for the rest of the episode. Also I know they didn’t explicitly say it but they are 100000000000000% at their cottage in Perthshire, again you can pry that headcanon out of MY COLD DEAD HANDS!!! I’m just so so so so so so so so SO beyond happy that FitzSimmons got the ending that they deserved so much. They can be at peace now. I have loved them since LITERALLY day one, and I cannot imagine what would happen if I got to tell little 15 year old me how they ended up. I’m sending her good vibes to the past, I know she got them, because I never ever ever gave up on that hope for them. FitzSimmons, to me, represent so much goodness and hope and just everything I aspire to have in a relationship (without the constant separation and the death and all that fun shit), but just the utter love they have for each other. (thanks for the impossible standard to which I hold all men now JedMo). I have been on just a rollercoaster with these two characters, their relationship and each of them as individuals have taught me so much and brought me so much comfort, especially during some of the hardest times I have ever experienced. I’ll tell some of those stories one day. Not yet. I’m not ready. I’m still honestly just reeling. I have wanted A Happy FitzSimmons ending for SO LONG and I just cannot believe that we got it. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU. 

Writing this felt very cathartic. It’s almost been good to just get ALL OF THE EMOTIONS OUT. I think I’m actually going to take a nap now. I forget how tiring it is to be so emotional. What can I say to end this except reiterate again just how happy I am with that finale. I’m so thrilled that they gave us such a beautiful ending, it really was just a love letter to the series as a whole and to it’s message. I think it was quote from Jeff Bell that I saw and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since, because of how true it is, and really that’s why I hold this show so dear and why I have done for the past 7 years, and that is that this show is ultimately about hope. What a beautiful thing. 

[purplesurveys]

855

Have you ever turned down someone that you’ve liked? I haven’t been in this situation. I’ve had to turn down someone, but I didn’t like them.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Probably late May when I had *just* finished my thesis and everything felt overwhelming because it was literally the last thing I needed to do to conclude my time in college. Once my final draft got approved I felt pressured to do a lot of things in an instant – get a credit card, apply for social security and a TIN, upload my resumé in a bunch of websites because at that point that felt like the only way to go.

The last time you let someone go, was it to make yourself happy or them? Myself. I just did not blend well with my college blockmates no matter how hard I tried; and whenever I hung out with them I always had to be a little bit fake, and I hated having to do that every time. I found my true friends in my org so at some point I just stopped going out with my blockmates, but I honestly didn’t feel too bad about it because I was happy with my decision and I’m sure they didn’t mind me leaving our little group anyway. 

Who was the last person that could tell something was wrong with you? My mom. She gave me a verbal beatdown but was fine like ten minutes later, but I was no longer ok and was starting to tear up. I pretended to scratch my eyes but she could tell, and asked me “What’s wrong” as if she didn’t abuse me minutes before that. 

Anything bad happen today? I saw my uncle (who is Filipino, but grew up in the US) talking about his trip to Spain earlier this year and used the hashtags #LetsMoveOn #ColonialismSucks. That pissed me the fuck off because he’s a historian and founded an NGO essentially focused on preserving Filipino precolonial culture; and with those bullshit hashtags I just felt my head lose all its braincells at how hypocritical his words were. I don’t understand why he’d campaign for us to move on if he thinks colonialism sucks. I don’t know why he wants anyone to move on if I still have a Spanish surname, he has a Spanish surname, Filipinos still count their money in Spanish, and a big part of our cuisine is based on Spain’s, among other long-lasting effects. I don’t know where he got the audacity to tell his fellow Filipinos to move on if he never even grew up here and was always super sheltered and privileged in America, where he could very easily shield himself from the bullshit happening over here. It’s so dumb and I just rolled my eyes and moved past the stupid Facebook post.

Have you ever thought about online dating? If so, were you desperate? I’ve never considered it. As a demi, it sounds terrifying lol. But Gab and I each have downloaded Tinder on our phones at some point just to people-watch and see what it’s about.

Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? The only time I take it immediately is when I have headaches, because I hate them and wanna get rid of them ASAP. Otherwise, I’m not very dependent on medicine.

Are you ever scared of people reading your survey answers? No. I never intended my surveys to have an audience and at the end of the day they primarily serve as my journal and a place where I can vent. The people on here who’ve been nothing but super nice and non-judgey are just a great bonus and make me feel less alone on here.

Do you like cuddling with someone you like? Only if I’m already in a relationship with them. I don’t just give away cuddles lol.

What did you do last night? Hahaha welp I was in a Mood to take surveys last night so I took five, which is more than usual for me. I also watched a couple episodes of Good Mythical Morning and before I went to bed I had an Oreo Cadbury bar.

How frequently do you get fed up of doing a survey and give up before you’ve finished it? It was much more frequent before when I was busy with school stuff, but now I’m able to finish surveys. I don’t like getting my drafts all clogged, so.

Who did you last ride in a car with besides family? Gab, and I drove her home after picking her up from school.

Did you ever join a gym to look hot and get back at an ex bf/gf? I’ve never joined a gym but I have definitely done that thing where you go great lengths to look good so that an ex would feel like shit. Idk, I was 17 and thought going the petty route seemed fun. I had and still have no regrets doing it because it wasn’t my loss anyway lol.

Would you ever go back to your most recent ex? I did.

Has an adult ever allowed you to smoke a cigarette? I mean, my friends are technically adults and most of them don’t mind me smoking...

Run your tongue over your teeth. What do they feel like? Like...teeth? All that happened is that I felt self-conscious because I felt my protruding front tooth lmao so thanks for that.

Does crying mean that you’re weak or you’re just expressing grief? It means you’re expressing emotions, one of which can be grief. < There you go. Also I really hope this question isn’t implying that being weak = bad. It’s healthy to accept and acknowledge that you’ll get weak sometimes.

Wait, I forgot to ask! How are you feeling today? I’m fine but boy is it fucking hot.

[thehuenstuff-blog]

It’s good to be uncomfortable guys.

#metooTo be honest, I feel like a bit of a jerk weighing in on this. If anything, us middle class, white, straight, privileged men seem to have a lot of opinions on pretty much everything, including and especially on what groups (that don't consist of us) should be allowed to have and put up with. We’ll also always insist on that opinion being heard. So in tradition, here is that opinion:

I have no idea what it’s like to be a woman in society (duh) so I'm just going to work with what I am. A man. I could question the #metoo movement (and should) but the problem is women that I know, respect and more importantly, trust, keep posting #metoo. Some just the hashtag, some with explanations and some with fucking horrible incidents as little as a couple of weeks ago. I have two feelings from this. The first is heartbreak because these are people I care about. The second feeling is something that us men aren’t used to but is the bread and butter of this whole movement.

It’s made me feel uncomfortable.

My bet is that for most women, my few tinges of uncomfortability is basically a joke. A bit like a third degree burn victim sending condolences for someone that stubbed their toe. So ladies, look away because this isn’t for you.

Fellas.

This feeling of being uncomfortable, I think it’s a good thing. A sign we’re moving in the right direction. Maybe us blokes should keep a look out for that feeling? We could call out a friend or boss even. We could talk about shitty advertising, bad jokes and casual sexism. We've had media, for as long as I can remember, that pits human women next to cars, chocolate, insurance and every other thing available, it makes them out to be objects. I can't help but think that this in turn makes women feel ashamed for not being impossibly "perfect" and it makes men lose sight of the person and just see an unobtainable object with no feelings. I can't help but think that we've been sold an idea of women as objects in media, and it pops up in our workplaces, in friendship groups (social media included) and at the pub. It's a bit of the chicken and the egg, or a perpetuating wheel that keeps turning. It's totally bullshit and destructive and maybe now's a good time to stop it.

So what do we do? Call it out. Say "this ad is bullshit", or "sorry buddy but what you just said was dumb and misogynistic". It's going to suck. Your mates, fathers and co-workers will probably look at you like you're an idiot. But just like the Same Sex Marriage debate happening all over the world, this is your chance to be remembered as being the first. For history to be kind to you. So get in there. Be brave! Be remembered.

Right before leaving Australia I joined this group called the Tough Guy Book Club. It’s for men only. It’s NOT a support group or a new age cult. It’s just a bunch of guys talking about books. That’s it. I was surprised to realise that some of the smartest conversation can come from unlikely places given the demographic of the members.

Recently one of the members wrote something aimed at us men about harassment of women and how it’s not going to be easy for us blokes to call it out but it’s the right thing to do. I’ve copied it in below (with his permission) because he said it beautifully and we should all have a read.

Here’s Frank:

"So many--too many--#metoo tags posted by women I admire, respect and love yesterday. Made me think of this from my younger days. I apologise for the lengthy post... Back in the 1990's, when I was just starting my career in insurance claims, I was recruited by a company located in Sherman Oaks, CA. (Just to be CLEAR, this was a DIFFERENT company than my CURRENT employer.) The move included a big pay raise and an assistant that I shared with another claims examiner. (That was a HUGE incentive!) The assistant was a woman named Claire. She was a struggling actress, in her early 40's, with brilliant red hair and an elegant flair. Not only was she extremely nice and a pleasure to work with, she was incredibly efficient and made my life very easy in that cube farm. One day, Claire came to me with tears in her eyes and asked if she could speak with me in private. We went into the empty breakroom and she told me the VP of Claims, Jack P., was coming around her desk every day and making her feel very uncomfortable. She said Jack was making inappropriate comments about her appearance and recently asked her to lunch. Claire said she tried to make it clear that she was not interested but that Jack was getting increasingly aggressive and would not take no for an answer. Claire asked for my help. I was probably 35 years old and really didn't know what to do. Jack was a swaggering, corpulent, bully of a man in his late 50's. Human Resource departments back in that time didn't address sexual harassment issues like they do today, so I had no clue what I could do about the situation. I was the lowest man on the totem pole and Jack was a top executive. All I knew was that my friend was being victimized and was asking for my help. The next day, when Jack came sauntering out onto the floor from his upstairs office, I followed him to Claire's desk. I stood there while he tried to ooze his smarm all over her. What a disgusting pig of a man. He noticed me standing there and asked if I needed something. "Yes, I do," I replied, looking Jack squarely in the eye. "I need my assistant to help me with these payments ASAP. We have LOTS of work to do." Old Jack was FURIOUS, but what could he say? We DID have lots of work to do. He huffed away and went back upstairs. Throughout the week, I followed Jack to Claire's desk every single time he rolled through the elevator. It was very clear what was going on to all involved. Not a shadow of a doubt. On Friday, Jack's face turned beet red and if looks could kill, I would have been a dead man. He stormed off and we didn't see him for a while, but I knew my days were numbered. Claire found a new job soon thereafter and I departed about six months later. No, everything didn't work out in the end. Is that what you thought? Nope. Things went completely off the rails, and here's where the moral of my story comes in for all you men out there. I'm not seeking any pats on the back for doing the right thing. We should ALWAYS do the right, regardless of the consequences, BUT sometimes there ARE consequences. About a year into my new job, I got a phone call at my desk. "Hi, Frank. Do you know who this is? It's Jack..." Jack's company had bought out my NEW employer. A "hostile takeover", actually. I was the first person Jack called to tell. You see, Jack held grudges. He held grudges in a BIG way. Everyone else I worked with got laid off that day and were given generous severance packages. Not me. Jack kept me around. He had an example to make out of me. I had to travel 100 miles to work in the Orange, CA office, far away from my wife and young children. A workspace was set up for me...in a storage room. (Seriously, you can't make this shit up.) Jack and his little toady, Kevin, mentally tortured me every day for about six months. They told me my job was "temporary" and I had to "prove myself" to them. They would come down to the storage room once a day to check in on me and get a nice chuckle out of their handiwork. I could go on and on about the insults and indignities heaped on me, but this post isn't about me. Gratefully, I was able to find another job. Right now, I'm addressing the men out there. Please don't take my story the wrong way. If I had to do it all over again, the ONLY thing I would do differently is perhaps punch Jack in the nose. I paid a price for doing the right thing, but that was nothing compared to the price paid by women who have to silently endure the outrage of sexual harassment. Yes, you may have to pay a price for speaking up and taking action, BUT DO IT ANYWAY! The silence and inaction of good men enables the bad men to keep doing this kind of thing to women over and over and over. Absolutely, there were many men who knew what Harvey Weinstein was doing. Absolutely, there were many men who knew what Jack P. was doing and they DID nothing. They SAID nothing! I read Jack P's obituary in a trade paper a few years ago. All glowing praise for his many, many accomplishments. Certainly, no mention of what I imagine were the dozens of women he victimized during his stellar career. I wish his legacy more accurately represented the son of a bitch he really was. Well, that's the story. If you read through to the end, I commend your tenacity. It's quite a missive by Facebook standards. Do the right, thing, okay? Wouldn't it be wonderful to put a dent in all those #metoo’s?"