#you wanna kill my drive to post anything for others at all anon? cuz youre doin a bang-up job there

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Sorry if this is rude or controversial but personally I don't feel inspired to write a long review documenting what I liked and how I felt when an author doesn't respond to it. I know you say that you read them but it's very similar to your issue in that if there's no acknowledgement then you're not inspired. I don't feel inspired to comment anymore. This goes to you and plenty of other authors out there.

It -is- rude, anon (I appreciate your politeness, but this is a huge problem with fandoms as a whole and it is rude af). And not just controversial– it’s mean, unfair, entitled, and selfish. You’re definitely not putting yourself in a writer’s shoes or seeing it from the side of the creator who is putting the work out there for you to freely consume. Have you ever in your life spent eight hours to write a comment to someone on something they wrote? Yeah, no one has. But that’s how long it can take to get a chapter said and done that you enjoyed. You think that’s a fair distribution of work? Fair by any means?

Me: Spends 8-12hrs of my collective free time writing an 8-10k words chapter update, hopes for a few sentences of what someone likes.

You: Before I even consider writing what I liked, I’m just not gonna do it because the writer won’t acknowledge me for me leaving them a comment.

Also you: why hasn’t this fic updated yet wtf?

Let me see if I can get this straight by what facts have been presented: you want fic which you enjoy reading, which writers spend hours and hours putting work into, and the writer wants 60 seconds of a reader’s time back to say what they enjoyed (not 60 straight seconds of typing mind– that’s quite a lot- but more than a quick “thanks loved it”), and you consider it -unfair- that -you- should spend the time to let the writer know you liked stuff, if the writer doesn’t reply back to you after they’ve already spent hours producing content you probably spent less than 1hr consuming (average reading speed being about ~200wpm).

So it’s not worth it to you to support your writer or let them know the content you’re consuming– again, for -free-, and shared by the writer who already knows the story in their mind and has no other incentive to share it publicly with others except for the incentive of getting comments from others– was enjoyed by you unless they personally get back to you (and by that merit, every other person who comments, which takes away from other time that could be spent writing) so therefore you don’t leave a nice comment? Writers aren’t mind readers, if you want to engage in conversation, go for it! Have a question? Chances are they’ll answer it!

If someone leaves me a question or wants some clarification on something (or is inviting conversation of ‘hey is this happening in this au?’ or proposing something or whatever), I end up answering the comment. If there’s no question, I put what free time I have -back- into producing more content I post online for others to read for free, and when they comment, I flip my shit and typity type type up a storm.

Commenting is like tipping someone for their service. “Hey thanks for the service, I really enjoyed my meal, here’s your tip.” But you only tip if I’m tipping you -back-, anon? What? Like I’m not even sure what you expect back from a writer (if it’s a question answered, yeah, that’s something) but like, do you want accolades back just for commenting? o_O?

And let’s just drop the service/meal analogy all together (cuz you didn’t pay for the fic in the first place, yeah?), and say, you really think you’re entitled to read work without giving back? Aaaaall these choices online, you get to read what you enjoy, and you don’t think you owe someone the courtesy to leave something nice? Or are you feeling guilty and don’t like that I’m calling that shit out? It’s not cool, dude. It’s not nice, nor is it at all a fair thing for you to say or take exception to. It’s WRONG that people stop commenting. That shouldn’t even be controversial jfc like are you aware a lot of writers fully delete their shit because they think people don’t care? You think you’re not part of the problem?

I want to take a second to say I appreciate you being polite, and if you’ve been on my blog for a while you know how fucking ornery shit like this makes me, I don’t know your situation (some folks don’t have the spoons and that’s fair; but this is not your stated case) and it just REALLY pisses me off that it can come off as me, a writer, being seen as some raging bitch just because I think writers should be given their fair due for the massive amounts of work out in. Did you see the post earlier on “just how long is this fanfic?” and it compares them to books? No one is getting paid to write and publish the shit you enjoy (some fic writers do patreon but that’s a minority, and some folks are cool and buy kofis for their writers but it’s not required to read the work).

I'ts a thankless fucking job putting up fic. The best we hope for is a nice comment back about how someone is enjoying the piece. Artsy folks contribute sometimes not in commenting, but drawing art of your shit, because your work inspired them– and thusly added to more stuff for the community to enjoy, which is just fucking RAD. Commenting is GOOD and a productive thing, but I’m still lost over how you think you need a reply back when the writer already gave you so much.

Being on both sides of the argument myself– as someone who -does- leave longer comments and also writes a fuckton– and i’m nearly at 1million words in 3years anon so you don’t have a leg to stand on here unless you expose your identity and have something comparable that you’ve provided free of charge to the fandom at large- I will say this: leaving the longer, documenting comments as you call it -can- take a bit more effort, yes. I’ve got panic disorder, and wanting to leave writers something nice for the effort they put in can make me anxious, yes. It’s more work and can be daunting. But it is SO worth it for the payoff (I.e. Fueling the writer which has them create even MORE).

But seeing the rate at which writers get -discouraged- cuz of lack of feedback on truly awesome work (and a LOT of us creative types are somewhere on the depressive spectrum, comments mean more to a writer than you think) I can stand to put in a little extra effort for how much the relief of escape of reading their freely-available work gives me. I don’t need to ego-pat, but letting them know I appreciate their command of language or little things I haven’t seen before in fic can make SUCH a difference.

And sometimes I just don’t have the time for a documenting-type comment (esp. as a lot of us read in bed when we’re already exhausted; I understand that), and as someone with a busy life outside of the internet, I’ll still leave a nice comment with general impressions and let them know I’m anxious for the next update and I’m loving what they’re doing with characters/storyline/whatever stood out after reading 8,000+ words. Hell anon, there are enough super-popular posts floating around this hellsite about how much a goddamn -keysmash- comment means to someone. There’s a lot of emotion in one of those is the silly thing, but it communicates a LOT.

I can leave writers more than a 1% word tip, if you will, for what they give me. 8 well-meant words on an 8k fic is still better than “thanks I loved it”. And I don’t expect writers to have to thank me profusely for leaving them a comment. They ALREADY did me a favor by putting so much work and time into an enjoyable story for me. They didn’t get revenue from me buying their book. But I sure as hell read it. And they definitely don’t need to waste their time with a generic “thank you” reply when I already know they’ve gotten the notification that the comment is there, and they will see it. They should enjoy the comment I left as much as I enjoyed the story, in my opinion, and sometimes I think my comments fall short, but I still leave several nice sentences for them.

Fandom as a whole does NOT do right by its content creators. No, no one can be 100% on all the damn time, let alone have the spoons to do it. I’m a prime example of fandom burnout.

But to feel justified not giving back? That is some fucked up shit, and people with those mindsets don’t deserve the access they have to so much awesome fanart/fanfic out there, and yes, you should feel ashamed.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[herushingu]

Long thing. Suuuuper super long thing about doing your idea even if youre scared to... Hellsing fandom positivity and a "new" Alucard (someone has to have done it before, but...) 

But long ass post. FUCKIN LONG. "Keep scrolling cuz its gonna keell you" long!

Okay... I harshed on myself some for this, and even more for making this post, just cuz... what DON'T I harsh on myself about? ^^; I mean, I was making a Hellsing positivity sideblog and I could just make the blog and NOT make this post, right? I mean, a stupid post talking about it, just make a short promo post and don't waste anyone's time, right?

I just keep thinking about others who feel similar as me, and I know how validating it is to read someone else having same thoughts... I don't think anything I do will have any horribly great impact, and in a POSITIVE WAY no less (in fact, I'm stunned when ONE person says I've made their day better... like, are they high at the time or did they dial the wrong number??) but on the chance it can help one person just a tiny bit, it's one drop in an ocean that's made up of tiny drops. It's always a straw ("a small thing") that breaks the camel's back.

So

Yeah

I've had an idea for a Hellsing positivity blog for a while now and a couple days ago set about getting things ready. Yesterday morning, though, I got a different idea, realizing it was just what was lacking from the previous idea. A general positivity blog is fine and good, but there was something distant about it somehow. Then yesterday as I was driving home from dropping my nephew off to school I just kinda chuckled to myself about how everyone's making "ask" blogs now (the one Father Anderson's been there for a while, but we have a newer joint Alucard/Seras, an Iscariot-Seras, and now a Punkcard one, etc...) and that it was cute and awesome how everyone was having fun. I hadn't thought about making one until just that moment. It would deal with the "distance" factor that was missing from the first positivity blog idea. People can have a character personality to interact with.

Parking the car [from taking nephew to school] and walking to the house I mentally skidded to a halt as it hit me. The idea that surfaced was an abscure one, it was literally random but I had found it PERFECT--but then came the worries.

The idea was basically "Priestcard." Alucard if he was a priest, except for some reason creativity wants this to be a PART of Alucard, like say some familiar that gets cut off from him (don't question the sciences on this... DARK MAGIC, somethingsomething), someone who was a priest or at least thinks he was, remembers nothing, not even of being a priest, and just looks like Alucard as priest. Being the most popular character in the Hellsing franchise, who better to "host" a Hellsing positivity blog? But when the Father Anderson blog did that Andervamp event they got anon hate because someone else already had a vampire Anderson RP blog (who fully supported the Andervamp event and did NOT support the anon hate)... and Anderson is basically Alucard as a priest anyway (canon)... both the Anderson and the Andervamp blogs are run by totally chill people, I know they won't mind my Priestcard idea one bit. Walking up to the house [after taking nephew to school] as I realized some of the possible shit certain others may want to stir up scared me. Even now in typing this hours later, I'm shaking just a bit.

But I've really wanted this blog, no matter who the fictional host was or wasn't. Priestcard had nothing to do with Anderson or their blogs, it was a random thought brought on by multiple people making ask blogs conveniently solving a distance problem. Maybe my random thought was Priestcard because of subconscious attachment to Iscariot lately (I mean... Anderson blog, Andervamp blog, Iscariot Seras blog... it MAY have all influenced me without my knowing). But it doesnt matter. I've wanted mere Hellsing positivity in the community to be more active since before the PSA linked in my Herushingu blog description. I wanted to reblog that thing to my RP account and give the same thing to others, but was insecure about being able to be in-character enough for it. If even one person came to me in need of character cheering up I didn't want to fail them. So I didn't reblog it there. Shortly after I thought about a whole blog just for positive vibes. Nobody asked for it. I'm sure it won't gain many (if any) followers, but like I said, if it helps one person then that's all that matters.

I'm still scared. But dammit I'm tired of doing nothing when I've got an idea just because "what if" someone decides to be a douche and start drama... Let fear stop me on the next idea. It won't stop me from THIS one. This can be that one in ten thousand ideas that actually makes it to at least creation. If someone starts shit, let it be on them. I don't have to acknowledge it.

If anyone's still reading this far then lol, I'll send flowers to your funeral after this lengthy load of whatever kills you, but thanks for sticking around for this idiotic prattle. Let's move on to the blog details themselves, hm?

Priestcard will be 100% passive sugarcoated sweetheart material that will make Mr. Rogers look like a gangster. He won't remember being a vampire so for all he knows he's not one (since, you know, Alucard is immune to sunlight, so Priestcard thinks "sunlight doesn't hurt me, so I CAN'T be a vampire..."), he's just an ordinary priest-guy who also for some reason he can't fathom knows nothing about being a priest besides "be nice to people and God loves everyone." He's taken up residence in an abandoned church that he has decided needs some TLC and should not be thrown away so quickly. A little tidying up and anyone can be saved, one small step at a time. People call it "his" church but he insists it's "a church for everyone, even nonbelievers" who he finds no fault in merely for that. I'm making some basic emote art for him now. Oh--he's Father Vlad Dragulya, and no he doesn't know why that's his name (but it's one of the two ways actual Vlad Dracula signed his name). He's walking anmesia, lol. His actual conscious memories start when he woke up, alone, a separate being (from Alucard) just down the road from this very church. All he wants is for you to feel better from anything that bothers you. Anything. (my heart bleeds for Priestcard, I swear... <3) The interesting parts will be when someone has a papercut around him and he "feels strangly facinated" about it or the rare (suuuper rare) ocassions when he actually gets angry and dark powers flare up. ;)

but yeah... these are the types of posts I don't usually make anymore. "Once upon a time" kind of thing. This long LONG "my exact thoughts and here's what's going on behind the scenes" delightful bullshit. Maybe it's pointless. It wont become a habit lol ^^;

I just want anyone who feels scared of doing a thing to know YOU'RE NOT ALONE, READ ALL THIS, SERIOUSLY, THIS LITTLE THING HAS ME SCARED HALF OUT OF MY WITS and I'm still doing it. Try thinking about other people who want to see that thing you want to do anyway. DO IT. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Some people think I'm fearless because I'm so passionate about my opinion HAHAHA, NNNOPE. Look at what I've typed here and ask yourself if you would tell me not to do this thing, make that Priestcard blog, that you (at least as someone who I presume doesn't hate me, lol) don't want me to have this thing... if you can't say it about me then you can't say it about yourself. If I deserve THING, then you deserve THING too.

GO!

DO THING!

and tell us all about it because it's probably going to be awesome and we don't wanna miss out!! <3 <3 <3