#you’ll always hold a special place in my heart taro

[taroyamada-is-bestboi]

So… I don’t know if I’ll delete this blog or just discontinue it. I think I might just delete tumblr altogether because I don’t want this negativity in my life when I’m trying to get into a happier place.

My finals thoughts are, I honestly can’t see things ending well for Yandere Simulator with Dev screwing up this badly and members of the team leaving. I hope for the game to finish, but it’s not looking good anymore, and it’s sad to see things fall before the game and its characters got to reach its full potential.

[frauleinjustice]

Oumasai Week Prompt 6: Birthday

@oumasaiweek

I just had to write something for Kokichi’s birthday, too! Wanted to make it super soft and fluffy, ehehe, so as always: I do hope you all enjoy and thank you to all who do choose to read it! ❤

Today is Kokichi’s birthday. While he doesn’t expect most of his classmates-save for a handful of them-to really care that much, that was fine. Not only will he and DICE have a big party at their base much later tonight, but there was a certain someone he especially wanted to spend most of the day with before then: Shuichi. He expected to see him in class that morning, just like the others. He got a few birthday wishes here and there, which was nice, but he didn’t see Shuichi there. He huffs: of all days Shuichi doesn’t come to school, he dares does so on the day to worship the supreme leader. Demanding Kaede tells him where he’s at, she told him best guess is to check his dorm.

Not caring about staying in class any longer, Kokichi instantly starts making his way to the dormitory buildings, mumbling under his breath: “Saihara-chan’s got a lot of nerve not coming to school... “ Did he not want to see him? Kokichi tries not to think of the surely irrational thought, but it made him anxious over the possibility. He knows Shuichi wasn’t busy with a case at the moment, so he can’t think of any other reasons why he didn’t show up.

Meanwhile with Shuichi; he actually was in his dorm. The reason he didn’t show up to class was because he was organizing several of the presents he’s gotten for Kokichi. A sketch of Kokichi he drew himself, teabags of pretty expensive and rare flavors like red velvet and chocolate tea, dice block keychains… and then a special present he’ll want to surprise Kokichi with last. He knows he probably overdid it with the gifts, but for Kokichi; he felt it was worth it.

Albeit a bit nervous on how much he’ll actually love all this: the thought of Kokichi very happily accepting all of these gifts makes a big smile appear on Shuichi’s own face. He hasn’t told it to the other yet, but… he fell hard for him. The harmless lies, mischievous nature, and his rather silly and eccentric nature overall… what Shuichi would initially find taxing at times, grew to it being traits of Kokichi he grew fond of.

Kokichi also grew to love Shuichi, even if he was too scared to ever say that. Shuichi delighted him in so many ways. He can’t figure him out, can’t always expect the detective to say or do certain things… his reactions amuse him, he gets delighted when Shuichi even plays along with his antics at times. It made Kokichi become more and more intrigued by him overtime… and how he eventually comes to fall in love with him.

“Alright…” Shuichi mutters under his breath. “Everything can fit in here.” All his presents were fitted neatly inside of the colorful gift bag he bought. The special present will be nice and secure in one of his pockets, once he actually gets dressed. He had practically rolled out of bed to start organizing these gifts so he was still in his pajamas. A yawn leaving his lips, he stretches his arms. “Now to just find him and-?!”

The sudden sound of his door being knocked on made him jump in his seat. “Ah? Who is tha-”

“Saihara Shuichiii!”

“O-Oh…” He was honestly a bit worried it’d be Kokichi at the door, mostly because he hasn’t put the gift bag away yet. And because he made a yelp when he jumped, Kokichi knows he’s in there, so Shuichi can’t pretend he isn’t. “Uh, one moment! Let me just-!” Grabbing the gift bag, Shuichi scurries over to his bookbag and carefully places the gift bag inside before closing the bag back up.

Kokichi crosses his arms, impatiently tapping his foot while pouting. “I’ve come here to finally carry out my mission of assassinating you, and you dare tell me to wait?”

“Comiiing…!” He heads over to the door to open it. “G-Good morning, Ouma-kun. Sorry, I had to..do something for a second.”

Kokichi eyes the detective up and down. Bed hair, still in pajamas, still looking a bit sleepy… it couldn’t help but make Kokichi snicker. “Wow, you look like crap! Did you sleep past your alarm or something? How irresponsible! Nishishi!”

“S-Shush, you. I just haven’t gotten ready, is all. Just give me a minute and I’ll be-woah!”

“Coming through!” Before he could even finish, Kokichi invites himself in by ducking under Shuichi’s elbow and squeezing past him.

A sigh, Shuichi closes the door and looks towards him. “So um, did you need something..? I was going to come to class once I was dressed, you know..”

“Forget about class right now! If you want to live to see another day… you’re going to spend the entire day with me!” Kokichi declares with a point.

“Huh?” He gives a small tilt of the head. “What did you want to do…?”

“You’ll know when you know!” Meaning: Kokichi really didn’t have a set plan, either. He just wants to spend some time with Shuichi and exploring the different shops in the city with him. “And I won’t take no for an answer! U-Unless…” Kokichi lowers his head. “S-Saihara-chan will refuse and force me to get out. He was already so cruel as to try hiding away from me in his room, a-after all…” Voice sounding like it’s breaking, Kokichi looks up to him with watery eyes. It was just his usual crocodile tears act, but there was still that small genuine hint of worry Shuichi wouldn’t want to deal with him that long. He wanted to hear it from Shuichi himself he wants to spend time with him.

“Ah! H-Hold on, it’s not if I said ‘no’, did I? Just...give me a minute to get dressed and we can do whatever you have planned, okay?”

“.......” And in a flick of a switch, Kokichi was beaming. “Good! Don’t keep me waiting too long, now~!” He heads back over to the door. “I’ll get dressed in different clothes, myself. Meet me outside in the hallway once you’re done. Oh, and fyi: other colors than black do exist, emo!”

“O-Ohh, whatever!” Swatting his hand in the air, he rolls his eyes before chortling. Snickering, Kokichi exits the room and heads back to his own. He changes into more casual clothes: specifically a black shirt, short-sleeved Panta hoodie, white pants, and checkerboard patterned shoes. Along with this, he still kept on his scarf and wore a clear bookbag with his clothes, too. A nice and simple look, but he internally hopes Shuichi will like it, too.

Shuichi throws on a brown button up shirt and beige jacket, along with black pants, brown loafers, and his bookbag. Kokichi was already waiting outside in the hallway when Shuichi came out. For a second, he couldn’t help but stare. Shuichi looked nice in his regular clothes, but in casual wear… he found him even more attractive. Shuichi in turn couldn’t help but blush lightly at seeing Kokichi. He thought he honestly looks cute in his normal clothes as well, but especially so in his own casual outfit. “Hmm… so even Saihara-chan can look good in something other than black, huh?”

“I can’t tell if I should take that as a compliment or an insult… just kidding. T-Thank you. You look nice, yourself.”

The already light blush on Kokichi’s face grows a bit worse from that, quickly turning around. “Aww, you flatter me, so!” But then in a more genuine tone, he says: “Thanks! Now come on, off we go!” In his burst of excitement, he grabs Shuichi’s wrist and drags him outside. The walk to the main parts of the city was about 10 minutes, so it wouldn’t take too long to get down there. It gave Kokichi some time to think about where he wanted to bring Shuichi with him to, first.

“Hmm… I’m kind of hungry. Let’s go to a cafe first. I’ll order me a Monster Chocolate Volcano Parfait! It cost about  ¥4,000 and you’re gonna pay for it!” Kokichi declares excitedly.

“What? I highly doubt such a drink exists. ...Or even costs that much.”

“You’re right, that was a lie! Really though, let’s go to one! I have trusty intel that lets me aware of alll the good joints in town, you see.”

“I-I’m sure you do…” They continued to talk and joke around and whatnot until they reached the specific cafe Kokichi wanted to come to. “Ahh… Milk Bread Cafe? I think I came here before, one time…”

“Ohh? Good, then! I’m still ordering that Deluxe King Mocha Parfait that I mentioned before, by the way.”

“That’s not even the same dessert you mentioned!” A playful roll of the eyes as Kokichi laughs, they enter inside. The hostess brings them to a booth that was near the windows. It had a nice view of the street, people and cars going to and about their way. The two take their time browsing the menu to see what they’d like before their waitress comes over.

“Welcome to Milk Bread Cafe! I’m Yumi and I’ll be serving you today! Just so you know, we’re doing a Couples Discount today~! Everything on our specials section of the menu will be half-off!”

“C-Couples Discount? Oh, well, um-”

“We’ll do that!”

“!” Shuichi looks over to Kokichi in surprise. His cheeks turn red, surprised he actually went along with it. Though he figured: he was only just going for it solely for the discount, and hence why he’ll play along and nods his head. “Y-Yeah! Me and my ...b-boyfriend will do that, then.”

Even if Kokichi was the one who spoke up; still hearing the word ‘boyfriend’ out Shuichi’s mouth makes his heart bounce around in his chest a bit, masking it with a big smile on his face. “So we’ll do that! Give me theee… purple velvet cake slice with vanilla bean ice cream and taro milk tea!”

“And I will have the marble chocolate milk bread with an iced medium caramel macchiato, please.”

“Right away, sirs! I’ll put that order in riiight away and be out in a second with your drinks.”

A nod from them both, the waitress heads over to do that. Kokichi looks back at Shuichi, having an amused smile on his face. “I’m surprised you actually went along with it.”

“W-Well, yeah? I mean, it would’ve been awkward if I said ‘no’ after that..” That, and Shuichi wouldn’t exactly complain over the thought of them having been mistaken as a couple.

“Nishishi! Well, I would’ve had you executed if you called me out for it. So good…” Their drinks and food eventually came. Kokichi takes a bite out of his cake and ice cream, a smile practically beaming on his face from how delicious it was. “This tastes so good~!”

Shuichi didn’t eat his food yet, instead finding himself spacing out. That big, bright smile on Kokichi’s face… he found it so precious. It makes a small smile appear on his own face, giving a content sigh under his breath.

“I want to steal one of your bread slices, too, Saihara-cha…?” Now he noticed Shuichi staring at him. Being looked at with such a content smile on Shuichi’s face: it flustered him a bit. He had to wonder how one boy could just look so handsome without even trying. Before he’d also find himself being lost in his eyes, Kokichi waves a hand in front of Shuichi’s face. “Helloooo? Earth to Saihara-chan!”

“!” He quickly shakes his head to snap out of it. “O-Oh, uh: sorry, did you say something?”

“Pfft, don’t go spacing out, silly! Eat your stuff already or I will!”

“Ah, right. Not that I mind if you really want to have a slice… I doubt I could finish all this myself, anyways.” He chuckles, actually just placing two slices of his bread on Kokichi’s plate before trying one, himself. “Ohh… this is really good! I love milk bread…”

Kokichi also tries one, nodding in agreement. “Yeah! Since you shared some of your stuff, I gueesss I can be nice to you for once and let you try a piece of my cake.” Now he simply would’ve just cut a piece with his knife, but to be a tease… he breaks off a piece of the cake with his fork and hovers said piece to Shuichi’s mouth. “Say ‘ahh’~!”

“H-Huh??” Shuichi blinks. “Wha, c-come on, that’s embarrassing… …..”

“Nishishi!” Snickering, Kokichi knew he was going to get that kind of reaction, and was about to bring his fork back when…

“....Ahh…” Shuichi leans in a bit to actually eat the piece. Flustered as he was for actually doing that, he mutters: “...I-It’s good…”

“..........” Kokichi didn’t say anything, save for a more noticeable blush on his face appearing. Bringing his fork back over to his plate, he gives a disinterested sigh. “...I knew you were super cheesy like that, but wow.” He scoffs, mostly to distract that he also felt pretty embarrassed.

“E-Eheheh...that’s what you get f-for trying to tease me.” It really did feel like they were a cute couple on a date. Shuichi would feel far too shy to even say it jokingly, but just thinking about it that way was making their little trip to this cafe even more enjoyable for him. For the rest of their meal, they chatted a little but ate silently for the most part. With Shuichi paying for them both and Kokichi at least wanting to leave a tip, they were off.

“Alrighty! Next, we’re going to go tooo… oh!” There’s a glint in his eyes. “One of my favorite shops!” He looks up at Shuichi, smiling mischievously while holding a finger up to his lips. “Only the bravest of souls can survive there.... Even for me, it was quite a challenge to overthrow the former leader of that place. I wonder if Saihara-chan will be able to live to see the light, afterwards…”

“I’m not sure if I even want to guess what kind of shop you’re talking about, now…”

Responding with only a snicker, Kokichi gestures him to follow him. A couple of streets later and they were in front of said shop Kokichi was talking about: a novelty shop that primarily sold props and items for pranks and tricks. It was no surprise he is a regular there, even being pretty good friends with the owner. They both enter inside, the shop being a small one with lively music playing in the background. Shelves and bins were filled to the brim with prank items like airhorns, firecrackers, fake mice/snakes/insects/etc., silly string, and much more. “Aaand here we are! Isn’t it perfect?!”

“A… shop that sells prank items. Oh my god… it really is perfect for you.” He remarks jokingly, curiously viewing around. “I’m guessing this is where you get most of your stuff for pranks…?”

“Yup! I need to restock on more. Maybeee…” He looks towards the firecrackers. “I put those in a pot and set it near Momota-chan on his bed while he’s asleep...then set it off and scare the shit out of him! Orrr…”  He directs his attention to a fake rat. “I hide this in Amami-chan’s locker and maybe this time, I’ll get an actual yelp out of him!”

“...Okay, I admit: sometimes it’s honestly funny whenever Momota-kun gets startled. So imagining someone like Amami-kun letting out a scream i-is kind of… p-pfft…”

The smile on Kokichi’s face widens. “Whaaat? Is Saihara-chan actually encouraging me to prank someone? I knew our super serious detective had a mischievous side~!”

“I-It’s not like that! Hahaha…!” He couldn’t even say that without his voice breaking before he started laughing. “Listen, if you buy that and try getting them with it, I take no shared responsibility for the consequences!”

“Ohh yes you will! It’s what you get for showing me your secret dark side, detective!” He declares in anything but a serious tone. Really though, he was super delighted whenever Shuichi jokes around with him like this. He didn’t act as stiff or serious as he normally would with things like this… or in general, really. Kokichi normally did not let others try to become close with him and yet… seeing how Shuichi gradually acts more casual and relaxed around him: it was such a wonderful feeling.

Grabbing two of those items he mentioned, Kokichi heads over to the counter, where the owner of the shop greets him. “Hey, Kokichi-san and friend! I see you got some stuff? Going to acquire more prank victims, hm?”

Shuichi gives a small ‘hello’ in response, while Kokichi gives a much more livelier: “Namoru-chan! Nishishi, you’ve got that right!”

“Nice. Oh, we actually got some new stuff in that I’m sure you’ll love.” And what turned from Kokichi simply buying two things instead turned into him buying almost 10 things, carrying two bags worth of pranking material.

“Good ol’ Namoru-chan always has the deets!” Glitter bombs, shock pens, airhorns, fake snakes… just a variety of different things he could utilize for any prank victim of his choice. This will especially come in handy when he and DICE really go crazy on the weekend and pull off as many pranks as they can.

“I-I can see that. Hahaha, Ouma-kun really does have his own dealer. But with pranks…”

“Mmmhm! By the way… you’re the only one I’ve shown this shop to. Don’t go telling anyone else, okay? Else I’ll subject you to Deep Web level torture!”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Which sounded sarcastic, but Shuichi really will keep it a secret. In a way, he felt a bit flattered he was the first person Kokichi wanted to bring to his favorite shop.

From there, Kokichi continued to drag Shuichi to several different shops. They window shopped in a few places, browsed the mall and popped into a few stores like a candy store and video game shop, and then Shuichi treated him to one of his favorite ramen joints once they became hungry again. All the while, the two continued to have nothing but fun together. His birthday was going so wonderfully, even he had to wonder how it could become any better.

Over the course of their activities, evening soon came. Having walked around all day and gone to several different places; the boys were pretty tuckered out, but didn’t want to part ways just yet. In fact: there was one more place Shuichi wanted to bring him. “...Hey, Ouma-kun?” Shuichi speaks up. “I want to bring you to one last place...is that okay?”

“Hmm?” Kokichi gives a curious tilt of the head. “Where to?”

“Yoyogi Park. The bus that leads there is just around the corner. Just to relax for a minute and… to show you something specifically there. Ah, but it’s a surprise.” He smiles, playing giving the gesture of placing a finger against his lips.

“A surprise, huh…?” Further intrigued, he gives a nod. “Alright, then let’s go. It better not be a boring surprise, Saihara-chan… but that’s a lie! Even I have high expectations you’ll impress me. Be honored!”

“Ah, I absolutely am. Though, I really hope you will like it…” There was slight uncertainty in his voice, but Shuichi told himself it will be okay. A short bus ride later, they were at the park. Shuichi loved to come here, as no matter what time of the day, it always seemed so quiet and peaceful. The view of the trees and ponds as one walks alongside the path was very beautiful. Shuichi often liked to take a stroll through it on foot or on his bike a lot of the time.

Gesturing Kokichi to just follow him, their walk was mostly in silence; but, the comforting kind of silence where it didn’t feel awkward if they weren’t saying anything. Kokichi may not seem like the type, but even he found parks nice to walk through every once in a while. It made him wonder even more where in this park that Shuichi wanted to show him as a surprise. After walking on the path for a while, Shuichi would start walking off it and towards the areas with lots more trees. “Just a little further…” He tells him. It wasn’t exactly easy to traverse past all the trees with no clear path, and it could be easy to get lost if you strayed off the path even just a little: but thankfully Shuichi knew exactly where he was going. After several minutes, the two would finally make it out of the secret path. Going through two big bushes, they were finally at the area Shuichi wanted to show him. “Well...here we are!”

“....!” What Kokichi was greeted with was a small garden area surrounded by bushes and shrubs. Petals of jasmine flowers from the shrubs they grew on litter parts of the ground. In the middle of the area is a fountain, with two benches on the left and right of it. Kokichi had never seen this area of the park before, so he was mesmerized. “Wooow…. Is this Saihara-chan’s secret base where he conducts shady deals with clients? I like it!”

“Very funny. But, ah…! Y-You do?” Relief washes over him, along with a bright smile appearing on his face. “I’m so glad…! I found this area a long time ago. It’s...pretty out of the way, as you now know, but… it’s so pretty, it’s worth it. I like to come here at times to relax, read, study… and whenever I just need to get away from it all and clear my head, coming here always helps. I haven’t shown anyone else this area before, so… I wanted you to be the first.” He admits with a soft chuckle, blushing lightly as he bashfully rubs the back of his head.

“....Me?” He feels his heart leap in his chest. He could tell it was a pretty special spot to Shuichi, so it made him far happier than he even realized that Shuichi trusted him enough to want to bring him here. Blushing, Kokichi darted his eyes away. “S-Saihara-chan’s being super cheesy again…”

“Ahaha… anyways, come over here…” Shuichi gestures him to sit at the bench with him. They put several of the bags from their multiple shopping trips down on the ground before Shuichi takes off his bookbag and opens it. It was finally time to give him the presents he had gotten him. He takes out the gift bag. “I know it’s awfully late to actually say it, but… Happy Birthday, Ouma-kun!” He holds the gift bag out to him. “This was why I didn’t show up to class this morning: I wanted to organize the presents I’ve gotten for you.”

“Oh…?” Kokichi accepts the gift bag. “I see, I see… so it wasn’t Saihara-chan trying to avoid me to escape being assassinated, after all…” He looks up to him, beaming. “Thanks! Let’s seeee…” Kokichi first takes out the dice block keychains. “Ohh! I’ve been needing to spruce up my keyring with new stuff!” Then he takes out the dessert teabags. “Chocolate and red velvet tea! The perfect tea to have at the round table with my most trusted generals…” He jokes with a snicker. He was loving each present so far, already. He then takes out the sketch Shuichi made of him. He was doing a goofy smile while doing peace signs with both hands, as if posing for a picture. It was light-hearted and cute, yet well drawn. He even drew him with his hat and cape on. “Ah….”

“D-Do you like it? No lie, I had fun drawing that, eheheh… I thought to myself: ‘What really captures Ouma-kun?’ And so...yeah!”

“......” He could feel his heart thumping harder in his chest and his face heating up worse. Yet, he couldn’t stop a genuinely happy smile from spreading across his face and gives Shuichi’s nose a playful poke. “Nerd! You forgot my super menacing supervillain chair and flying car, so it sucks… just kidding! I love it!”

The poke to his nose makes him giggle. Though hearing he loves the drawing, and overall all the gifts: it made much more worth it to have gotten him it. “I’m happy that you do…! But there’s...one more. One more th-that...I wanted to save for last.”

“?”

Shuichi exhales softly to try mentally keeping himself calm. From his pocket, he pulls out a small box. Inside would contain the special gift: a silver sterling bracelet. Being made of real silver, it was definitely expensive. It had a design of a crown on it, but not only that: Shuichi had this bracelet personally customized. In the middle of it, ‘Kokichi Ouma’ was engraved. He opens the box and takes the bracelet out. “Let me have your wrist for a moment…” Shuichi carefully places the bracelet around Kokichi’s wrist. “S-So what do you think?”

Kokichi does not say anything. The expression on his face is unreadable as he twists his wrist around to get a full look of the bracelet. Even just by looking at it, he knew it was not cheap. The tiny crown on it was a very nice touch, he thought. And then seeing it had his name on it… that Shuichi went that extra mile to make it even more personal and special to Kokichi… “......” He could not even come up with a mocking or teasing jab right away. He was touched. “I….I….” He utters softly: “I love it, Saihara-chan…”

Kokichi’s straightforward response surprised him, but made his heart swell up with happiness. “I’m glad… I wanted to save the best for last, haha.” Then there is a pause. This would be the perfect time, Shuichi tells himself: the perfect time to confess. The thought of doing so makes him extremely nervous, but he told himself to just get it over with. He didn’t want to keep holding it in. Shuichi speaks up with again with: “O….Ouma-kun?”

“Hmm? Got another surprise for me? Oh! Is it that you’ll fiiinally join my organization?”

“N-Not exactly. Um...a-ah…” Another exhale. He didn’t want to clam up right now: he wouldn’t allow himself to. He hesitates for a second, but… Shuichi would go to cup one of Kokichi’s hands in his own. “I just wanted to say that… I hope you had a lot of fun today. I most certainly did, anyway. Ouma-kun...deserves to have a nice birthday, after all. You always deserve to feel happy. You have such a… nice, genuine smile. And to be able to see that for myself multiple times today; I loved it. It was, um: w-why I was distracted staring at you in the cafe, honestly.” He chuckled shyly. “You’re...really cute.”

Kokichi’s heart leaped in his chest when Shuichi cupped his hand. He silently stared at him as Shuichi went on. Always deserves to be happy ... His genuine smile is adoring… to the point that even Shuichi found himself lost in it… were words he never believed anyone would tell him, before. Being called cute didn’t help the only worsening blush on his cheeks, either. He would slowly come to intertwine his fingers with Shuichi’s. “...Is Saihara-chan tr...trying to imply something?” His gaze softens, but there is still that hint of anxiousness in his eyes.

“I-I’m guessing it’s a bit more obvious by now, but…” He gives his hand a soft squeeze. He takes another second to just keep himself calm. Shuichi didn’t want to stammer at all once he finally says it. He looks towards Kokichi once more. “Ou… Kokichi.” Shuichi goes to cup his other hand. His thumb rubs the back of Kokichi’s palm gently. And that nervous look on his face… softens to a warm look in his eyes and a loving smile. “...I love you.”

Kokichi’s mouth is slightly agape. His eyes slowly widen and for a second, he gives Shuichi’s hand a tight squeeze. Did he hear that right, he wonders? Did he really hear Shuichi say just now that he loves him? “..........” Eyes lower to his lap. “...You better not be teasing me, Saihara-chan. Even to a liar like me, that’s a really cruel thing to lie about.” He doesn’t say it as if doubting Shuichi’s words: but rather, his anxiety making him believe such a worst case scenario could even happen.

“I am not. I would never be as heartless as to joke about this. I really do love you, Kokichi. For a long time, I have.”

Kokichi slowly looks back up at him. The way he says that, and the way he smiles at him: he knew for an absolute fact Shuichi meant every word he said. “A...Ah… pffft! Hahahaha!”

“Uh?” Shuichi was caught off guard when he suddenly started laughing. “Wh-What’s so funny?”

“N...Nothing, just: pffttt! Here I thought it’d be impossible for someone like Saihara-chan… to ever feel that way about me! He has a lot of friends… probably has other people crushing on him… then I find out he loves me! Has this been just a super long and incredibly realistic dream? Hahaha…!” Tears were streaming down his cheeks. But not from laughing so hard…. “Ha...a-ah…” His laughter dies down and he goes silent again. Sniffling, he wipes away the tears. At first, he didn’t know why he was suddenly doing so, but now he guessed it: he was just that happy. So overwhelmed from happiness; he couldn’t control the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“H...Hey. You okay? …Oh!” Next thing he knew, Shuichi was pulled into a tight hug. “K….Kokichi?”

Kokichi buries his face in Shuichi’s chest. Quiet sniffles leave him as he wipes more tears away, needing a moment to try readjusting himself. Shuichi feels warm in his hold… he didn’t want to let go. Once he felt he was okay enough to finally talk coherently, he looks up to Shuichi. “My beloved made me so happy just now, even I was at a loss for words… no fair! Pulling that kind of sneak attack on me!” He giggles, but then his voice softens again. “I guess you deserve a response. I…” He almost looked away from him, but forced himself to sit back up for a moment so he could look clearly at Shuichi. “....I love you, too, Sh...Shuichi. Just like how I stole your heart, you stole mine, so… you’ll have to take responsibility, mister!” He declares comically before quickly burying his face back in Shuichi’s chest. The smile that now adorned his face: Kokichi couldn’t remember the last time he was ever this happy. This was not what he expected to happen on his birthday… or at all, really. For once, just once: he was so happy to have been proven wrong.

“Kokichi…!” His initial reaction had him really scared he would regret confessing, but now hearing Kokichi in turn loves him.. In a burst of extreme happiness, Shuichi gives him a tight squeeze in the hug and pulls him even closer against him. His face is slightly buried in Kokichi’s hair, giggling in it. “Ah, I’m so...so happy right now, I-I… I was honestly so scared you maybe wouldn’t feel the same, you know…?”

“Yeah… if I had bad taste! Which I clearly don’t!” He snuggles up against him and nuzzles his head against his chest before eventually looking up at him. “To want to show me a special place of yours and confess to me, on my birthday, no less… what cheesy shoujo manga inspired you, huh? Nishishi!”

“H-Hey! I’m not hearing any complaining either way, am I?” He remarks while playfully poking Kokichi’s cheek, which makes the both of them start laughing. “So I… g-guess that makes you my boyfriend now, huh? Ahh…” Just even being able to say the word ‘boyfriend’ in regards to Kokichi makes him feel warm inside. “....Kokichi?” Shuichi goes to gently cup Kokichi’s cheek, gently stroking it. He leans in closer to his face before he softly mutters: “M...May I…?” Gazing at his lips for a second, it was apparent what he was hinting at.

“I-Idiot, you don’t need permission to kiss your b...boyfriend.” Which was his roundabout way of saying yes, he was more than okay with it. Kissing Shuichi was something he’s wanted to do for a long time.

Shuichi’s eyes slowly come to a close as he leans in closer. His lips softly press against the other’s, a soft sigh emitting from him. In turn, Kokichi also closes his eyes and leans more into the kiss. His heart was fluttering. Shuichi’s lips felt nice and soft to him… he wanted to bask in this as much as he could. Once they pulled away, Kokichi wraps his arms around his neck and… makes them both fall down. A surprised yelp leaving Shuichi in response, he was now laying on his back with Kokichi on top of him. “Ah...a-ahaha! Geez…” He quickly goes to wrap his arms around him, again. They softly nuzzle their foreheads together while getting lost in each other’s eyes. The look Shuichi gives him is filled with so much adoration and love. Kokichi gives him a similar look, bringing a hand up to stroke Shuichi’s hair. It felt soft and smooth as he combs his fingers through it.

“Shuichi always looks so attractive… it should be illegal. But, he’s mine now, so! I can have my beloved Shumai all to myself… and I’m not sharing!”

“Hehe… y-yes, Kokichi. I don’t want to share you, either. I’m all yours… and only yours. Once more, I love you… and Happy Birthday.”

With that, Kokichi leans in to initiate the kiss this time. A longer, more loving and passionate kiss. He’d joke about it, but: being able to do cheesy, lovey-dovey things with Shuichi from now on… he was looking forward to it. He was going to make sure to be a wonderful boyfriend for Shuichi, make him happy as he can… and in turn, Shuichi will absolutely do the same.

[luminaluna]

NieR: Automata Ought to Matter

And not just because of my horribly cheesy puns. Do a quick check on the internet - some reviews on Metacritic, a few YouTube videos - and you’ll get the impression that a lot of people were taken aback by the quality of the game. NieR, the original game released in April of 2010, didn’t do so well. It gained a cult following for a handful of reasons that I’ll address later, but the overall consensus suggested that the game wasn’t anything special. Poor combat, lacking visuals and repetition were the most commonly cited problems from review outlets such as IGN and Kotaku. Then along comes an announcement from Square Enix that NieR was in for a sequel and everyone was just a little bemused.

I say all this without having had the benefit of first hand experience. I was an initiate to Yoko Taro when I first plunged into NieR: Automata. Like a lot of others, I picked up the game on the assurances that followed reviews of the sequel. This one was different, they said. Different in a lot of ways. And one of the reasons for that was Platinum games.

Platinum. The studio that focused on action combat games like Bayonetta. Their combat systems sought to provide fun and entertainment, with enough depth for gamers to sink their teeth into should they wish to really understand the mechanics. Their previous games received rave reviews (well… let's forget that one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles title. Everyone tries to) so naturally, interest had sparked in their new collaboration before it was even released. Whilst the team up ultimately paid off, there was a sense of trepidation towards the other party.

Here’s where things start to get a little more… different. So you have a studio known for their excellent combat and a game director whose previous game in the same series was criticised for having dull combat. You’ve got the one thing needed to plug up the leak in an otherwise study ship right? All fine, except that ship is steered by Yoko Taro, and this captain likes sailing over rocks just to see how much damage he can do. Damage, in this sense, would be the emotional kind. NieR: Automata thankfully doesn’t suffer at all for Taro’s tendency to go off the map. In fact, that’s when it flourishes. Platinum games provide the base for which a story can be built, in which everything weaves around it perfectly.

When Yoko Taro spoke at the 2014 Games Developers Conference, he made a point of how he writes his stories: “Backwards script writing and photo thinking” he calls them. Backwards scriptwriting is just as it sounds. “It’s the process of creating cause of reason starting with the conclusion of the story.”

I must admit, this resonated with me as a writer. Often, I’ve had people ask me how I create characters or build plots. I always refer to it as a snowball effect. In my head, I begin with one point; a name, a personality trait or a scene. Then I start filling in the blanks. It’s never a conscious process. I hardly ask myself “I wonder what this character was doing when she was three years old?” or “What plot shall we add in order to give her character motivation?” As the ideas snowball, the answers to the questions follow. It tumbles down the hill picking up more snow as it goes.

In essence, this is what I felt when playing NieR: Automata for the first time, and later hearing Taro’s methodology, even with Taro snowballing from the ending. Everything comes together in such a way that when it does fly off the course you were expecting it to take, it still keeps going. It never feels outside the realm of the world you’ve created because everything serves the purpose of reinforcing that world and the characters.

Automata is a game that relies heavily on its characters. It’s world made be ruined, but the characters give it life. 2B and 9S, our initial protagonists, are introduced in the norms: on a mission. And it’s here that Platinum starts showing off its effortless play style. “B fights with class. Even as a beginner, you can tell you have in your hands a seasoned pro. She leaps with a grace and style that should be impossible in the high heels she’s wearing. But we don’t question it. By the end of the prologue, your heart is in your mouth thinking “They can’t possibly die like this?” as they detonate these black boxes they hold in order to complete their mission. But then, not a few seconds later, there they both stand. This tells us two things: one, the mission is above all else. And two, they are artificial. Man-made.

It’s then that everything starts tying into this. The upgrade system: a series of plug-in chips that can be collected, then inserted into your friendly androids for a variety of perks and benefits. The quick travel system, which has your body being stored and reassembled at the new location, your consciousness data being transferred. And the death and retrieval system. You want all your plugin chips after dying? No easy way around it. Go back to the site of your death to find your old battered body, and loot them from your corpse.

It’s a morbid system perhaps, one that other games like Darksouls have used in the past. And whilst Automata isn’t trying to go all Bloodborne on you, it does use these systems to enhance its story. Death isn’t something that just causes a restart. You lose yourself every time. A body is left in the place you failed and you must revisit it in order to gain what you lost. Wonderfully poetic, but also practically in Yoko Taro’s android driven world. If you fail to backup your data to the androids’ main base of operations, the Bunker, you’ll lose all of your data when you do die. Everything, and I mean everything, ties into the logic of this world. It makes it so tangibly real that you can't help but begin to care for these characters.

Who doesn’t play a game wanting the heroes to succeed? There are few exceptions, but Automata goes a step further. In another method of driving home what these androids go through, Taro makes you play the game again. NieR did this of course. To unlock certain endings, various different story requirements are met, and various perspectives need to be seen. Playing the first route of Automata alone is like only eating the crusts off a slice of pizza. You’re only getting the base, not the main sauce and cheese of the story.

But then, I hear you cry, why should someone have to play a game twice (theoretically) to get the most out of the content? Why should it be necessary to look deeper into the story when we get a basic, albeit thought-provoking story in the first route? Let me introduce to you, my dear friend, route B. A simple character perspective switch as it first seems. You’ll notice something upon starting up 9S’s story that you can’t believe you missed before when you first booted up the game: this is the first time we get a title screen. To me, this subconsciously marked the beginning of the real story. We’d just made our way through a ten-hour long prologue. And what Taro and his team do in this playthrough is subtle enough that you don’t think too much about it. The gameplay is once again changed, giving you wider tactical options and a little more access to loot the world now that you know the basic layout. Everything seems normal until you hit the desert area.

The strange cardboard style intermission appears on the screen and for a minute, you’re thrown for a loop. What was that? What relevance does it have to the story at all? So you think about it. And think about it more. Until another reveal comes later on when you reach another new area, and then 9S’s hacking abilities start revealing the inner workings of the supposedly evil machines you’re fighting.

I’m not suggesting that this dual perspective narrative is something that hasn’t been seen before - spoiler warning, that’s exactly how the first NieR game pulled its emotional punches - but it’s the way it’s implemented here that causes the new insights to slowly worm their way under your skin and unsettle you. Taro is setting you up for a fall and getting you through a largely similar playthrough with a breadcrumb trail of promises. “Hey, if you play some more, this might all start to make sense.”

It does, eventually. But only after the player embarks on their third playthrough and- hang on, aren’t we going back to the start? The repetition of the previous two acts lulls you into a false sense of security. 2B’s narration at the very beginning of the game sets you up to think there’s going to be more of the same; “We are perpetually trapped in a never-ending cycle of life and death.” Taro just straight up breaks the rule that is an established feature in video games: a new playthrough is a repeat of the game. Now the game continues, and whilst there are many more shocks to come, 9S has to deal with most of them. The perspective shift seen before becomes a protagonist shift.

I love Automata for doing this. The player has spent so much time with 2B, seen her as the face (yes, face) of the game that losing her is as shocking to us as it is to 9S. It’s expected, but that doesn’t make it any less unbelievable when it does happen. I would argue here that 9S is the main protagonist of the whole game. We see his journey from small sidekick to emotionally broken crusader, fighting for revenge. He’s the smarter one, the one who figures it all out. Yet he can’t handle losing 2B and losing his purpose soon after. He snowballs, just like I would with a story. But his snowball is more the kind that breaks windows then ends up being the base of a snowman.

Two things become apparent from these later acts of Automata’s story. Firstly, Taro knows how attached he wants you to feel to these characters. You could almost say he’s being emotionally manipulative. The false sense of security is ripped away from the player after their two repetitions of the same story, thus the second half of the game feels off the rails and unpredictable even when we can guess what will happen next. Secondly, the story is no less at the forefront of the game's design. You could go as far as to say that the story is one of the main designs of the game. Critics and creators often keep these things separate, the story a secondary thought to the game's mechanics, weaving it around what already exists to hold it loosely together. But Automata’s story defines so many of its gameplay mechanics that it is equally important. The features that run from the early gameplay - the death system or plug-in chips - continue throughout, and then the game uses the multiple playthrough concepts, one which is usually just a shallow attempt at extending gameplay hours, to enhance the story.

The truth is, we don’t see enough of these games anymore. This year's releases have placed a much greater importance on the open world exploration style of gameplay we’ve seen in older RPG’s. Games such as The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Horizon: Zero Dawn and Skyrim (which is still being newly released on systems even six years after it’s initial launch) all have good stories. But they aren’t tied into the gameplay as much as NieR: Automata threads it’s narrative into every aspect of the game. Nintendo has shared their philosophy on making great games time and time again. They begin with a fundamental “clear concept and then do as much with that concept as the time will allow” according to Zelda creator Shigeru Miyamoto. And this works brilliantly. There’s no way to say with is better: putting story first, or gameplay first. But what Yoko Taro does is fundamentally the same as Miyamoto states. Instead of taking a gameplay concept and making it the key to the game, with Taro it’s the narrative concept. Though we do not know the exact scene that sparked Automata’s story like we do with NieR’s, suffice to say it would have involved androids, or if we want to get a tad more specific, mechanical lifeforms fighting each other in an attempt to understand life.

Because underneath all the swerves in narrative, the protagonist changes and the lolita dressed androids, there is always that philosophy that 2B starts out with. What is life? And why is an android talking of life if they aren’t considered living beings? NieR: Automata doesn’t allow you to create your own story out of your experiences (though this is very much possible in some of the more open areas of the game), but invites you to question it alongside the main characters. Games are such a unique platform for telling stories and NieR: Automata should be applauded for the risks it takes in its narrative brutality and refusal to treat gameplay and story as two different entities. We need more games that are willing to take risks with the stories they want to tell, and in particular, ones that put so much detail and care into the presentation as they can. Yoko Taro and Platinum games marry together narrative and gameplay in an intrinsic way that gives NieR: Automata its identity. In a landscape of the world, make-your-own-story games, Automata shows why a linear story can still be relevant, and how games are the perfect medium to tell stories that can’t be told through anything else.

And that’s why Automata ought to matter.

Yoko Taro: Making Weird Games for Weird People - https://www.gdcvault.com/play/1020815/Making-Weird-Games-for-Weird