#you're very nosy merlin

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 6 - A Remedy to Cure all Ills

Before I start, let me just say, I'm really happy I'm getting to rewatch the earlier seasons. Of course the next random episode might be literally season 5 or something, but it's great that it hasn't happened yet.

Let's fucking start bitches

Not the wiggly evil fingers just a few seconds in.

Damn boy you got some dirty ass nails, wash your hands.

MORGWEN MY BELOVEDS!!!! Also the way Gwen looked at Morgana after she asked who'd she want the flowers to be from. Girl looked ready to risk it ALL, let me put a screenshot actually.

OUGHHHH the brainrot is real with these two

LIKE??????? GWEN'S THIRSTY (me too)

Alright girls, enough yearning please

Ugh, I hate the little sound the bug made when it dropped from the flower. Butthole clenched in digust.

Oh thank god they DON'T show it literally entering her ear. That would've been so gross.

LETS GO INTROOOOOO

Oh Gwen looks BEAUTIFUL in that yellow color. It does everything for her!!

"She's all but dead, Merlin." JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GAIUS

Most suspicious ruse of all time. "Oh, i have a cure for all ills. And also I know the king's ward is very sick. But anyways, I'll be at the inn :)." Bitch.

"But I'm not worried." me when I lie. Merlin is so bad at lying, jesus fuck

Merlin sits down to stop pacing. Arthur gets up and starts pacing. Two sides of the same coin or whatever.

Underrated Arthur shirt is the purplish one he wears in the scene where he begs Uther n Gaius to hear the strange man out. That color looks good on him. It might be his red shirt but in a weird lighting?? I can't be sure.

I really like when Gaius gets to talk all medical considering how limited the medicine world was at the time. It's really really cool, I love seeing this insight into what was possibly like to be a physician at the time. I don't of this happens much in the show.

Arthur really is so trusting when it comes to his loved ones. Of course he's not at fault, like he said what do they have to lose at this point, honestly I've done the same. It's just. Heartbreaking to notice that trait knowing what comes next.

"Science is knowledge." Merlin is such a nerd, I love him.

Oh, not Gaius and Edwin having a lying competition over here. There's a better term for it, but whatever.

Gwen is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS but girl please that's a fucking sorcerer, go AWAY be SAFE. She's so smart though. Immediately knew something was off. He tries to be all "She may die :(." to get her to be worried and not suspicious, but it literally doesn't work. She leaves the room but not because she thinks he's got Morgana's best interests at heart. She knows something is wrong. She also knows she holds no power. And on the chance that he is right and Morgana dies, she'd never forgive herself.

The fucking lying back and forth between Gaius and Edwin. Like. From the outside, it sounds like a perfectly normal convo. But they both know it isn't. And WE know it isn't 'cause we know Edwin's full of shit.

Interesting how Arthur isn't seated but Uther and Morgana are.

Who the fuck knocks on someone's door, doesn't hear an answer, and then just let's themselves in?? I'm sorry, if you're a stranger, I'm not doing that. The fuck's wrong with you Merlin, you nosy boy??

It is so sickening that these villains of the week have views that we can agree with. Yes, magic is a gift and can be a force for good, you're right! But it's because of Uther and his oppression that they turn bitter and ruthless and vindictive. And yes, you do have to eliminate those who are like Uther because they will only propagate the same corrupted and repressive beliefs. The problem, the layers, is that some of those people are actually very much capable of understanding the very fundamental logic that "Sorcerers deserve too live in freedom" but they're so filled with fear and propaganda of the contrary that it's so hard to get out of it. And that's why, if they killed Uther with magic, Arthur would hate magic even more (just like it happens in canon), which would then just repeat the cycle, etc etc. You need to uproot the system, but killing everybody is not the answer; but also having to teach such a fundamental thing, that certain humans deserve basic rights, is such a painful thing to teach, and the oppressed does not have the obligation to do so. But then the cycle just repeats and repeats and it's SHIT. Anyways.

It's so funny that in season 1 they hadn't figured out the cgi for the golden eyes so they just. simply don't show it.

The things Edwin say are like. Well-meaning. But there's just this off vibe that the most intelligent characters (Gaius, Gwen, Merlin) can just. pick up. And even though Merlin really likes what Edwin is saying, there's just something telling him... it's wrong.

Uther, of course, would never even believe anyone would just lie so blatantly and manipulate him like this because he thinks himself very intelligent; which is why he's falling for everythinggg that Edwin says. But, credit where credit's due, Edwin is an excellent liar.

Gaius wears the most cunty ring on his pinky finger, hello?

I want that ring bro.

Oop, not Gaius having his cowardice and betrayal shoved right in his face. I get it, you wanted safety. But there's consequences to your actions. And I know Gaius feels so guilty about all his friends that died at the stake while he remained safe and sound.

If Gaius would've left in this episode, replaced by Edwin, I bet Morgana would've felt so guilty. In her mind, her illness is what caused him to leave. Gaius truly was there for Morgana and Arthur in ways Uther simply could not.

OOP Gaius and Kilgarrah meeting!!!!!!!! I forgot this happened lmao

Gaius got a little taste of how infuriating the dragon is.

Wait, Gaius was employed for Arthur's birth? That's so interesting. He probably already lived in Camelot but he's been a court physician for 20 years. He was already quite old by then.

It's the way that Gaius is just. Ready to throw his whole life away to make sure Merlin is safe and sound. That's his fucking son, bro!!!

What the actual fuck, they're gonna make me cry :(((( Gaius called Merlin a blessing and his son, I can't.

THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE IM GONNA CRY

Gwen is so iconic, speak the fucking truth girl.

THAT ICONIC GWEN LINE YESSSSSSSSSS QUEENNNN

Not Gaius with his lil blanket and lil fire. He looks so smol, it's so funny.

Edwin could've waited a lil bit before going all murder on Uther. That just looks suspicious as fuck ngl.

GAIUS GETTING BLOWN BACK SHOULD'NT BE SO FUNNY BUT--

I wonder how Arthur knew that his father was ill. It means he went into his room, but why? Did he have some feeling about Edwin? About Gaius leaving? Was it some courtly concern? I'm assuming no one else would have the privilege of seeing Uther at night except for his son and ward so.

Yes, Merlin, just stare at the floating axe that's being controlled by the evil sorcerer right in front of you, you're so smart. Also the slow-mo is so goofy.

It's interesting that they shot both Merlin and Edwin's eyes up-close when they did magic, Merlin to do the golden eye effect, but for Edwin it seems that his pupils just change size. I wonder if not all sorcerers have their eyes glow, if it depends on the magic. Edwin is using dark magic, could it be that? That's interesting, imo. Dark magic equals no golden eyes. Kinda fun.

Violent ass death for Edwin, damn. Axe to head, bitchass

Oh it must be so weird for Merlin to be touching Uther like that. Like that's intimate as shit.

So cuteeee Gaius calling Merlin a genius, they're adorable. He's so proud. That was a feat, though, just pure improv and luck. Merlin is still a noob at controlled magic so this was really damn good.

Love that it's so canon that Gaius potions taste like fucking ASS. Uther's face, lmao.

Interesting that Uther asked if Gaius remembered his friends that burned at the pyre, and Gaius answers "All of them." and Uther doesn't even comment. As bonkers as it sounds, they truly are friends in some capacities. I wonder if Gaius could make Uther change his mind. Not Morgana or Arthur, but Gaius. But he made the choice to abandon magic, Uther presumed because Gaius understood its dangers, but if he were to find out that actually Gaius doesn't agree, I wonder what Uther would think about that. Like a genuine and open convo about it. I think he'd just arrest Gaius for it, but I don't know. I think there's at least some reality where he gives it some more thought. But I don't know if he'd ever repel the ban, more because he'd have to admit that he was wrong, and admitting you're wrong is also accepting and processing all the shit you did for that wrong thing, and I just think Uther is too cowardly to do so. He knows it would break his mind to truly process all the pain and horror he's caused; so no matter his inner philosophies, he'll never repel the ban, because the damage has been done, and he'd rather live like that than start anew in the new reality where he's wrong.

"In the fight against magic, you are the one person I can trust." yet again. Gaius going against this? Uther can't fathom it. He's so confident that Gaius is 100% on his side.

Arthur smiling at Gaius, awww.

Two pretty bestfriends. No wonder half the kingdom wants to fuck them both. Also what the fuck is a "freeman"??? Genuinely, what is it??

And that is it. Loved it, of course.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Until The Very End -(WITS Sequel)

A/N: I’m jealous why are their lives so put together they’re barely 23?? Anyway, happy 3rd birthday to this fic -Danny

Words: 3,068

Masterlist

Previous chapter // Next chapter

July-August 2003

"Hi, Tommy!" Mel took the baby from Remus' arms and held him tenderly. "How is my handsome boy?"

"He's a baby, he can't talk," Reggie walked past her grumpily.

"I know he can't, you garden gnome," she taunted. "Did mum wash your teddy bear without letting you know? What has you all pouty?"

Regulus' cheeks turned red, he checked if Teddy had heard, but the younger boy was playing with Emily and Victoire.

"Stinky," Reggie stuck out his tongue at her.

"I saw that!" Their mother spoke from the kitchen. "Don't be mean to your sister!"

"She started it..." he mumbled.

"I liked you better when you didn't speak," Mel poked him on the cheek and Regulus swatted her hand away, stomping towards the group of toddlers.

"He can't stand it when others get attention," Remus smirked. "I guess it's in his blood."

"Well, I couldn't hold my tongue when I was his age but I grew out of it," Mel shrugged. "Sometimes being annoying can bring good things. I met Harry thanks to my nosy nature."

"We would've met had you fallen over the fence or not," Harry was holding Bill's third and only son: Louis. The sight stirred something in her that she was quick to put back to sleep. "We were meant to be."

"I hope Reggie isn't meant to be a git forever," Mel joked.

"Can someone help me out?"

Anne walked into the room with a platter of food, her belly was starting to get in the way. Erick was usually there to help her, however, that day was Erick's turn to monitor the werewolves', so Harry and Mel offered to drive Anne and her girls to the Burrow.

Remus approached and seized the platter, he looked at Anne and smiled. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright," Anne rubbed her belly tenderly. "We've chosen a name for her, you know..."

"Really?"

"Josephine."

"That's my name!" Joseph exclaimed. "Well, not quite, but you know..."

Anne grinned. "We think it's a very elegant name."

"Thank Merlin you won't name her Emelda, or Erin— I thought you were obsessed with the E's," Fred teased.

"Mum!" Young Emily interrupted their talk. "Leon is being mean!"

"I'm not!"

"He's scaring us!"

"Isn't it true that Dementors look like corpses? That they have no eyes?" He argued.

"Why are you talking about that?" Harry frowned.

"Victoire's afraid of them, but how can she be afraid if she's never seen them?" Regulus replied, he seemed bewildered at the thought.

"You're mean!" Emily Flint repeated.

Regulus threw a careless look her way. "You're a baby."

Emily flushed pink. Remus and Harry hid their grins, the little girl was just like her father, including that she was pretty easy to upset.

"Regulus!" Mel reprimanded. "A good boy—"

"Yeah, yeah, good boys aren't mean," Regulus closed his small hands into fists, determined to stand his ground. "Have you ever thought that I don't want to be a good boy?"

Mel had to hide her amusement as she spoke. "You'll become a puppy and run away with Padfoot?"

"Can't be that hard if you did it!" He argued.

"It'll take you years to get it right," she replied calmly. "In the meantime, apologize to Emie."

He turned to Emily, took a deep breath, and bowed dramatically. "My apologies," he mumbled something no one got to hear, he would've made Kreacher proud. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"I forgive you," Emily was too little to hold grudges. "Can we play now?"

"I need a moment," Regulus said through gritted teeth. "Play without me."

He walked out to the garden, and it was then that Mel laughed. "I need a moment— He's unbelievable!"

"All the Sultens are like that," Harry taunted her. "Intense and dramatic."

Remus raised a brow. "Keep an eye on him."

"He's too smart to cause real trouble," Mel dismissed it. "He's a bit proud, and rough around the edges, but so was I and I turned out okay!"

"I think that he's not really interested in causing trouble, but he'll go to Hogwarts eventually, and I have the feeling he'll be tempted to make a show out of himself."

"Professor Lupin will face his biggest nightmare," Mel grinned. "If you thought James and Matthew's kids were tough, you'll retire before Sirius' turns fifteen."

"Sirius was the easiest one to control if you knew his ways," Remus retorted. "He was a twat, but I could make him think twice before doing something stupid. Emily was the impulsive troublemaker. Reggie's got Black and Sultens genes."

Mel was twenty-three years old when she discovered why she'd been brought to the world.

Sam and August were about to experience their first full moon in a whole year without any kind of potion. It could go two ways: Either they transformed, meaning the treatment hadn't worked in the slightest, or they would spend the night without a single change in their appearance or behaviour. It could also make the wizards turn halfway, causing malformations and even death.

Mr Greengrass, Kingsley, and every other authority of the Ministry were there to witness the experiment's results. Half of them were curious, the rest was sceptical. Under a special request, Harry was allowed in the chambers.

They also managed to bring Ron and Hermione. Hermione was part of the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, the laws they were currently using to deal with werewolves would need to be changed as soon as possible if this event ended in success. Ron was there as an Auror.

Erick and Daphne were standing on each side of Mel, watching the werewolves through a window in the chamber built specifically for this part. Mel's guts twisted in guilt when she put chains on their patients' wrists and ankles, it felt like telling them she didn't believe the treatment would work.

"We have a few minutes until midnight," Mel informed them. "If the treatment worked, you'll remain human. If not... I'll make sure you don't get hurt. You'll be okay, I promise."

"We trust you," Sam replied with a hesitant smile. "August and I... we're both afraid, but we agree on one thing... it was an honour to be able to help you."

The man nodded. "We've heard good things about you and Mr Flint, ma'am— and Miss Greengrass has been kind to us the whole time, treated us like people and all..."

"You are people," Mel replied. "And after today, you won't have to worry about being seen any other way."

"Mel, we have ten minutes," Erick called from the entrance. "Let's go."

He nodded to Sam and August, wished them good luck, and closed the door as soon as they abandoned the chamber.

"Are you ready to make history?" Mel asked him.

"I wish Anne could be here," he rubbed his neck. "I feel like I'm carrying the world on my back..."

"Anne's not a witch, she'd be in danger down here," she reminded him. "She had to stay and look after your girls anyway."

"Yeah..." he grabbed his pocket watch and stared at the time.

They went back to their places, Daphne's hand found hers and she squeezed it. Mel searched blindly and seized Erick's, the three of them stopped breathing.

"Five minutes," the healer next to Daphne announced.

"If we fail," Erick whispered. "Are we quitting our jobs?"

"It was an ambitious project since the start, but I don't think we should give up," Mel replied, eyes fixed on the window. "I'm sure they'd seen bigger projects fail..."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Daphne was pale and shaking. "My dad's been uneasy for weeks, when we're both home I often catch him re-reading the reports you give him."

"So we'll lose our jobs if we fail?" Erick pressed.

"No, just his trust, and a bit of his respect."

"Three minutes!"

"We can gain those back," Mel tried to sound calm, but her hands were sweaty. "I'm an expert at it since I was eleven."

"Merlin, I'm going to puke," Erick's dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than ever, Mel hadn't seen him like that ever since his seventh year at Hogwarts. "I'm dying."

"You'll be alright," Daphne told him. "I'm a Healer, if something happens I promise I'll take care of it."

"One minute!"

"Dear God, why did you guys let me do this? I'm mental!" Mel blurted out. "Only a lunatic would think this would work—"

"Shut up or I'll kill you!" Erick hissed.

"Thirty seconds!"

"Whatever happens," Daphne lifted her chin proudly. "It was an honour to work with you, guys. You are the smartest people I know. This won't be the end."

Mel couldn't even think properly at that point, but Daphne's words stuck in her brain for the rest of her life.

This won't be the end.

This wasn't about personal glory, it was so the world didn't have to worry about future Greybacks, or little Lupins thinking they deserved nothing just because they were unwell. It wasn't the end, Mel and Erick always dreamed of making the world a better place and never gave up, especially when they were working as a team.

Three... two... one...

Mel opened her mouth to draw in the air. It sounded like a small gasp, and she would've been embarrassed by it, hadn't been because all around her everyone started to do all kinds of noises.

Nothing happened. Nothing, in the best way possible.

A minute went by, then two, then five... when it was announced an hour had passed, she heard Daphne's friend say what everyone had guessed, it still felt quite amazing to hear it out loud:

"You found the cure for Lycanthropy. Congratulations."

"Holy shit!" Erick cried out.

Mel was trapped between Daphne and Erick in a crushing hug. She stood still unable to believe what was happening. The Ministry workers approached, but Mel reacted in time to realize there was something extremely important she had to do before receiving any praise. The witch pushed through and reached the chamber, opening its door.

August and Sam looked at her, Mel smiled, and only then she felt tears running down her face. The chains keeping the patients in place disappeared.

"Starting tonight, you're cured."

August touched his face while Sam stared at her hands and feet. The woman sobbed, August stood up and wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you," he said with a hoarse voice, looking at Mel. "Thank you..."

Mel heard several people rush into the room: Kingsley shook hands with the former werewolves, and Mr Greengrass followed right after. Mel shook hands and heard compliments without really listening, all she could think about, was her uncle.

After a moment, her best friends showed up and Mel was pulled into yet another hug.

"You did it!" Hermione was crying. "You did it!"

"Being a know-it-all paid off!" Ron exclaimed. "You and Erick— and Daphne— congrats, Mellow!"

Harry was the one holding her the tightest. "I'm really proud of you, being your husband is my biggest honour."

"Oh shut up," Mel chortled, thick tears falling down her face.

He kissed her, drying her tears with his thumbs. Her father's words came to her clear as day.

You're our future.

Mel sobbed, hiding her face on Harry's shoulder. "I did it."

She barely slept, too eager about visiting her uncle. They couldn't go right away because he would be going through his transformation at the time. Harry wanted to go too and she woke him up early on the morning of their visit. The young man was dragging his feet around the house while she was almost bouncing from one room to the other.

"Hurry up, Glasses!"

"M'going!" He sloppily put on his cloak. "Since when are you a morning person? I could feel you tossing half an hour before we got up..."

"I'm amazingly happy," she stood on her tiptoes to grab his face and kissed him, his beard tickled under her nose. "C'mon, don't be moody."

"I'm not moody, just tired," he mumbled, seizing her hand.

They apparated on the path near Remus' house, Mel dragged Harry all the way to the front door and knocked on it with enthusiasm.

"They're sleeping," Harry yawned. "We should've sent an owl first—"

"That is such a boring way to give life-changing news. My mum waited until I was back from school to tell me she was pregnant, these kinds of stuff have to be— Hi, uncle Lu!"

Remus opened the door looking dreadful: His hair was standing in different directions and he was wearing flannel pants and a worn grey shirt.

He rubbed his eyes. "Mel? What's the matter?"

"We have news. Is Tonks sleeping?"

"Yeah, it's..." he looked over his shoulder to see the clock. "Six in the morning! What are you doing here?"

"Can we come in?" She insisted.

Remus threw a questioning glance at Harry, who smiled apologetically. "We promise to be brief, Remus."

He moved so they could enter. "Should I wake up Dora?"

"Yes," Mel and Harry replied.

The man went back to his room, Mel and Harry waited in the kitchen, the young woman taking the liberty to prepare tea for everyone. When her uncle and Tonks appeared, Remus was dressed, but Tonks was still in her pyjamas.

"Hi," she said with worry. "Everyone's alright?"

"Take a seat," Mel flicked her wand and four cups moved towards the table, landing neatly in front of Remus, Harry, and Tonks.

"What's going on?" Remus stared at them in confusion.

"Well, I shouldn't tell you, but the public's going to find out soon anyway, Mr Greengrass says they'll want to interview us next week—"

"Mel," Harry intervened before she started rambling. "Just tell him."

"Okay," she said, barely containing her excitement. "The treatment worked. We found a cure for Lycanthropy."

Remus stared at her as if not understanding what she was saying, Tonks's hand went to hold Lupin's. "You what?"

"The treatment we've been making for years," she repeated. "It worked. We found a cure."

Remus looked disoriented, his free hand instinctively reached up and covered his mouth sideways, grazing at the scars on his skin. "No transformation?"

"None at all," Mel smiled. "It's also free. Erick and I decided to use our little fortunes to cover the expenses, we thought it was the least we could do, most werewolves live in the streets— we can't expect them to be able to pay months of treatment!"

Remus blinked and opened his mouth multiple times without making a single sound. Tonks was starting to worry, but then he left his seat and engulfed Mel in a hug. He was shaking.

"We... we owe you... I don't know how—"

She moved away and grabbed him by the shoulders. "This is my gift to you, for looking after me and making sure I was happy. Knowing I'll have you as my dad for more years to come... I don't need anything else."

He shook his head again. "Are you sure it'll work on everyone?"

"We've run all kinds of tests and I'm certain it'll work."

"Mel's never wrong, Moony," Harry added.

Remus looked at her with loads of pride.

"You truly are a remarkable witch," he cupped her face. "My dearest girl."

Mel hugged him again, and now both of them were crying.

"You'll have to wait a little before starting the treatment though, we have to announce it to the public but I'll make sure you're the first to—"

"I've been waiting my whole life, I don't mind waiting a few weeks if I have to," Remus told her. "Give it to the young ones first."

"But—"

"I can wait," he insisted.

He was smiling in a way she didn't see often, that was enough to convince her.

"There's one thing more," she looked at Tonks. "Since we used your blood for our research, my boss wants you at the press conference. You deserve as much credit as us—"

"Hardly," Tonks dried her tears, she and Harry were hugging sideways. "You've spent so long working your arse off— the credit's all yours! But I'll go if you want me to, as long as I can bring my husband and our boys."

"I said no."

"Dumbledore—"

"I understand Skeeter's your main reporter, but we have our reasons to refuse the interview with her."

"What reasons?"

"We don't like her."

"But—"

"Mr Carter," Erick intervened. "Skeeter's been unkind to us on more than one occasion. What kind of adult attacks minors? Our friend ended up in the hospital thanks to her! We won't give you the interview if she's the one that's writing it."

"If you send one of your least-known reporters..." Mel offered, "like that bloke that writes the Herbology column, he makes it sound so endearing!"

"Skeeter's always written our front pages," the man replied aghast. "It's not wise to push her aside..."

"She'll get over it," Mel dismissed it. "Listen, we'd love to give you the exclusive, but if you send Rita, we'll go to the Quibbler."

"No one will think your cure is real if you announce it there!"

Erick raised a brow. "Who's got more credibility? Mel Dumbledore, the war hero and former Head Auror who is now the best Unspeakable of our time— or the woman that spent a whole year writing about a nonexistent relationship between two teenagers?"

Mr Carter squeezed the hat on his hands and shook his head. "O-Oh, alright! But she won't like it!"

"We're used to her, don't worry about it," Mel smirked.

Once the man left, Mel and Erick collected their notes and organized them neatly, they fell into a comfortable silence that no one broke until a few minutes later.

"Josephine's due November, right?"

"Yup."

"Who's going to be her godparent?"

Erick answered distractedly. "I was hoping you'd take the job."

"Well, I've been waiting for you to ask me but you haven't, and this is your third baby. If you met your wife thanks to me, it'd be nice if I could get one of the girls!"

He laughed. "Fine, you'll have Josie."

"Josie," Mel beamed. "I love her already."

"Promise you'll pay her as much attention as you do to Teddy," he said gravely. "I don't want her to feel ignored by her godmother in any way, you hear?"

"I would never do that," Mel replied. "Being a godparent is amazing, you get to spoil the kid but you don't have to bear their tantrums or change their diapers!"

Erick chuckled. "I wouldn't know, I'm not a godfather..."

"You can be the godfather of my kid..." Mel replied absently.

He stopped and looked at her. "You're pregnant?"

"What?" She looked up. "No!"

Erick didn't speak for a moment, then he burst out laughing. "Then how the bloody hell will I be the godfather of a kid that doesn't exist?"

"They will exist! I think so..." she fidgeted with her papers. "Perhaps Harry changed his mind. If he did that's okay, I'm happy as we are..."

Her friend grabbed his case and walked past her, patting her shoulder.

"You'll figure it out when the time's right," he said. "Who knows? Maybe you're not meant to be parents, there's nothing wrong with that."

She hummed, picking up her own pile of papers and following him out of the office.

Next Chapter—>

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[artemisia-black]

And because I want to, a little teaser:

"Black, Leonis!"

The moment his feet, lead-filled as they felt, began to walk forward he heard it. The whispers. The buzzing whispers that he had tried to ignore all his life. The all-too-common whispers followed by the stares. The unceasing looks from busybodies and nosy-parkers.

"Black? Like Sirius Black?"

"Murderer's son, he is..."

"What's Dumbledore doing, letting him go here?"

He sat numbly on the stool and felt the hat sit on his head. The last thing he saw, before his sight was consumed by darkness, was a sea of faces — a thousand strong — looking at him. Like he was nothing.

"Hm. Curious, aren't you?" A voice whispered in his head and he jerked in surprise. "Oh yes. Ambitious, definitely. You want to prove yourself beyond your name. Hmm... not so much a Hufflepuff. You're loyal to those you trust, and yet you can count those you do on one hand. Plenty of brains I see, yes. And courage, oh my yes... you've got courage in spades, boy."

"Gryffindor." Leonis whispered under his breath, his hands gripping the wooden stool tightly. "It has to be Gryffindor."

"Are you sure?" The hat mused as if rather delighted with the whole thing. "Slytherin would certainly give you a name for yourself. No longer known as the son of Sirius Black, but to be Leonis Black..."

"Gryffindor." Leonis' voice was ragged and raw and quivering. "Has to be. I want to be where my father was."

"So be it." The hat shrugged as a hat only could. "Best of luck, young Lion, in GRYFFINDOR!"

The only sound in the Great Hall was Leonis' heart frantically trying to beat itself out of his chest. Not a one moved. Not a one breathed. Professor McGonagall nudged him, gently, off the stool and he walked, shaking and nervous, to the Gryffindor table in silence. He sat and students instantly shifted away from him, as if his very presence was foul, and his hands shook even more.

He tuned them out. He had to. It wouldn't be so bad. Would it?

Would it?

They'd accept him... right?

Named for a lion, he felt very much like a cub. Small and weak.

And then a hand fell on his shoulder. He glanced upwards and there, eyes glittering like gems in the torchlight, was him.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Harry Potter asked, nodding at the seat right beside Leonis. He has missed Harry's Sorting.

"Of... of course!"

Harry sat down beside him, in the lion's den, with a smile and beamed at him.

And faintly, Leonis could hear Professor McGonagall groan — "Oh Merlin, not again..."

Omg I can't wait for this. Poor Professor Mcgonagall lol

Also, I like the parallel between Leonis being infamous and Harry being famous.

[puppy-coded]

Why? {S.B.}

✰ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none just a bunch of nosy mfs honestly

✰ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Sirius Black x fem!reader

✰ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 650

✰ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Just teasing Harry for liking redheads.

✰ 𝐀/𝐍: Requested by @ell0ra-br3kk3r and I would like to remind everyone to pretty please send in requests Moodboard isn't mine, I found it on Google.

You, Lily, and Marlene were cooking and setting the table as James, Remus and Sirius cleaned up. Harry was sitting at the table, leaning on his hand with a dopey smile.

"So... Who's the lucky lady?" You asked, setting a plate in front of him.

Harry quickly snapped out of his daze at the question. "What? Aunt (Y/N), how'd you do that?"

You laughed at his surprise and set the plates down next to you. "I'm friends with your dad and Uncle Moony. Also married to Uncle Padfoot. I know a few things about love mate," You told him sassily.

"Who's in love?" James asked, popping

"No one's in love!" Harry yelled, accidentally drawing more attention from people in the house.

You, being the greatest aunt that you are, ratted him out. "Harry is!"

"Merlin (Y/N), why?" Harry asked.

"OoOooooOOOoO! With whom?" Sirius asked, sitting on the table next to Harry. He was swatted off by Marlene and he settled for leaning on the table instead.

Haary blushed at Sirius' teasing. "It's nobody Padfoot."

Sirius scoffed. "Guess who tried pulling that with me?" He asked the younger boy.

"Who?"

"Me." You, James, Remus, and Marlene said at the same time. You all looked at each other weirdly before shrugging and looking at Harry again.

"And guess who found out every single time?" Sirius asked smugly.

"Padfoot." You, Harry, James, Remus, and Marlene said in unison once more.

"Because who's the relationship expert?" Sirius asked, pointing at himself.

Lily swatted Sirius' head with a rolled up newspaper. "Not you! Stop teaching my son it's okay to pry." She said, shooing everyone away from Harry's seat.

"Lily! No fun!" Sirius complained.

Lily had brushed the hair out of Harry's face and kissed her son's cheek. "It's okay dear, you don't have to tell them. If you want to tell me because I'm your mother then I wouldn't complain though." Lily said, patting his cheek lovingly.

"Mom..." Harry said, clearly embarrassed.

"I'm just saying. I don't mean to meddle in your life, you are a growing boy after all and-" Lily was cut off by a very red Harry.

"Fine, I'll tell you. As long as you do not continue that sentence in front of everyone." Harry said, sighing heavily.

Everyone cheered since they had finally, finally, broken Harry.

"It's Ginny Weasley." Harry mumbled, looking away from everyone.

"Molly's daughter?" You asked. Everyone just looked at you like "Huh?" including Harry.

"How did you know?" He asked, baffled that you knew someone so much older than you.

"Who do you think taught me everything I know about cooking? She was my neighbor when I was younger. We still keep in touch," You explained.

Harry hit his head at himself for not realizing sooner. "That actually explains a lot."

Remus put his hands up as a "pause" signal. "Wait wait wait, you mean Weasley as in, the family full of reheads?"

"Yeah why?" Harry asked.

Remus couldn't stop the laugh that came out of him. "What is it with you Potter's and red hair?" He asked through his laughter.

"Yeah mate, wa'n't your mum's hair red too?" Sirius sked James.

Lily fixed James' glasses for him. "Must be something in the water then. They've lived in Godric's Hollow for generations, maybe they've mutated," She teased.

"Why is this my life?" Harry asked, laying his head on his arms.

Marlene patted his back encouragingly. "Because you're Prongs' son Harry. This was meant to be."

"Merlin. Shut up guys..." Harry tried, lifting his head up.

Marlene tried giving him a hug. "It's okay hon, this will only be brought up at every family gathering."

Harry huffed. "You mean forever?"

"Yes." Everyone told him.

. . .

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽: @my-my-only-angel

[whumpookies]

Merlin one shot, bit of humour can be found here

"No boat huh?"  Matthew muttered, scratching his head in slight confusion 

It was one thousand years later, and what would have been water was now fields, yet the Isle of the Blessed still sat on a hill in all its glory- the same hill that Talia and Matt stood facing. 

"No boat. That’s global warming for you," Talia shrugged easily as she placed down her longbow, making Matthew roll his eyes 

"So, what are we doing here?" Matthew asked as he sat on the hill looking down to the isle.

"Remember the last time we were here?" She asked, joining him sitting on the hill, their knees touching as they leaned back.

"Screaming vale, Doracha, cranky old woman, scarification of a soul to close the vail, Lancelot being an idiot, you warning the old hag..sure hard to forget, really. Why?" Matthew grinned cheekily. 

"Well, time for..revenge," she smirked. 

Matthew blinked..and blinked. "We're what?"

"Going to get revenge, well we ain't but..you’ll see," she half shrugged, laying back into the grass enjoying the rays from the warm sun.

"How? Or should I say why?" Matthew asked, looking over to her.

"Because I promised Lancelot I wouldn't get revenge...back then...didn't say anything about helping get revenge." Her eyes closed, unable to see the disbelieving look Matthew gave her. "You know he's gonna have kittens knowing what we're doing." She shrugged again, standing brushing the grass off her shoulders, Matthew following her actions. 

"That's why we'll tell him after we deal with the old crone," she grinned before grabbing Matthew's collar, dragging him down the hill towards the island.

"Just how are we doing this?" Matthew muttered climbing down the embankment.

"With a dragon." She answered, following him down the silence followed as Matthew stared at his best friend in shock. "A...dragon?"

"Yes, Merlin let me...borrow Kilgharrah"

"Borrow?" His eyebrows rose skywards, scepticism gracing his features. 

"Okay, not borrow...more like the dragon has it in for the hag, so we made a deal." Talia rolled her eyes before continuing along the field as Matthew huffed, "I don't want to know do I?"

"Nope." She answered, snickering. They carried on towards the Isle of the Blessed with a sense of mischief in their hearts.

"Just how did you get our swords and the longbow past the airport checkpoint?"

"You're really asking that now, Matt?"

"I'm curious, it’s not like you can say 'Hey officer, don't worry, just going to get revenge on Cailleach the old hag, then call a dragon, watch him eat her. Just ignore the swords, oh please don't check the blade, it's sharp. Oh look there goes your finger, don't matter if you hurry, it can be sewn on again!" Matthew counted off on his fingers, sarcasm dripping off his words.

"You finished?" She asked, rolling her eyes, once again asking herself why to the heavens. Surely deities were listening.

"Oh no, I've just started!" she sighed before clambering up the steps of the dry dock. "I actually said we're part of a cosplay team…"

"You what?!" 

"Now I bet you wished you never asked!" She cackled, walking down the dock, leaving a groaning Matthew. 

"You have no idea," he sighed.

It was as if time had stopped. The walls were damp, cobwebs spread in abundance, corridors dark until they spotted the light at the end of the tunnel leading to the altar. "How are we getting the old crone to come here? Not like we're sacrificing anyone...why are you looking at me like that?" Talia grinned at a very worried looking Matthew. "Don't worry, no scarification needed. Luckily Merlin knows a few tricks nowadays."

"Yeah, well he could at least get a haircut and a shave!"

"I think he's got the wizard look right down" she glanced over at him. 

"I still think Tolkien met him."

"What, to get the whole Gandalf look down?" She asked slightly confused

"Hell yes! Come on, both Merlin and Tolkien's characters have the beard and long hair… plus look what happened when you asked him to dress up at Samhain!" Matthew grinned, shaking his head. 

"Yeah..that was interesting," she agreed, her forehead creasing slightly.

"Tal, he declared Gandalf as a half-baked wannabe with a guilt complex the size of Albion."

"Point taken," she chuckled, shaking her head.

"Then Lancelot laughed that much he nearly passed out."

"Wait till this year at Halloween you'll love it…"

"If you say Merlin and Lancelot as themselves, I'm so going to be there to watch," Matthew said. 

"Nah, I gave up on that, thinking Harry Potter and Dumbledore." 

The laughter echoed down the empty passageway as they broke into the altar area; it was still large and lush with green grass swaying with the wind.

"You know Talia if this place wasn't linked to the old religion it would be perfect"

"I've nothing against the old religion, just the old hag with a god complex."

"Well let's do this, it's gonna be a long drive back."

Walking around the altar, Talia's hand running along the cool stone as Matthew stood leaning against the wall watching her. 

"How are we doing this?" He asked. 

"Easily, Cailleach is listening to the old hag and is too nosy not to! You ain't getting a sacrifice to some old hag. So come on let's have this out!" She yelled the last part, her voice echoing around the walls as she jumped up on the altar, sitting on the edge. 

"Are we really pissing her off?" Matthew asked.

"I don't get pissed off," the voice croaked behind him. 

"Bloody hell, you old cron don't do that!" Screeched Matthew in a high pitch voice that would make an opera singer jealous as Talia doubled over laughing. Cailleach stood behind the young man all in her dark glory. 

"What do you want, guardian?" She said.

"Oh come on, Cailleach. No hello? It's been, what, one thousand five hundred years, give or take a year...or ten," Talia shrugged, grinning ear to ear as she crossed her legs on the altar."The last I saw of you guardian...you threatened me, and I don't take well to threats," Cailleach accused, her eyes squinting at her.

"I don't take well to you trying to kill Arthur, Merlin or Lancelot," Talia shrugged easily, surprised  by her anger

"It is not killing.."

"Really? A sacrifice to close the veil isn't killing?. Don’t you have enough souls in the underworld?"

"Not yet," she grinned, looking to Matthew 

"Dream on hag, we're taken," Matthew muttered, walking over to Talia by the alter, sword in hand. 

"So it seems that you are, child." Cailleach mourned at the loss of another soul joining her.

"See, I promised someone I wouldn't get revenge on someone else." Talia brought the conversation back on track. "Lancelot." 

"Yes Cailleach, Lancelot, but I spent the day with a very large green-scaled dragon and it seems he still holds a grudge," she smirked, evilly sitting forward. 

"Oh look, Talia, I think it just dawned on her?!" Matthew laughed as Cailleach searched the skies above her as the wind picked up.

"So it seems Matt. Heads up hag, we've got a visitor!" Jumping down, Talia grabbed Matthew, dragging her friend towards the wall as wings came into view. 

"Done my part. Good luck Cailleach," Talia yelled over Kilgharrah's arrival.

"Amazing how hard it is to get a dragon to meet the gatekeeper," Talia muttered as she pulled Matthew into the gatehouse. 

"We are not gonna watch?" Matthew asked.

"Have you ever seen a gatekeeper and dragon go at it?"

"Well...no."

"Me neither, but Kilgharrah said to stay out of the…" A crash and crackle of magic hitting something stopped them.

Both looked to the door. 

"I think I get why now." Said Matthew worriedly looking over at her before a crash followed as rocks flew past the doorway. 

"Oh, that's one pissed off dragon." 

Talia nodded, sitting on an abandoned table. "Wouldn't you be? That old hag nearly killed Merlin, tried to stop the path of Arthur."

"Let's not forget the whole vail crap." 

Sparks struck the door frame as Matthew jumped back. "Oh, the whole Veil needs a blood sacrifice and all that crap. She has real issues with wanting blood." 

Fire bombarded the area passing the door; the heat could be felt with ease. 

"Damn, should have bought marshmallows," Said Matthew bemoaning the loss of a good crispy marshmallow.

"Next time."

"I'm bringing the sausages as well then!" She shook her head as Matthew watched the show as close to the door as possible.

"Well, the old hag needs a peg knocking out of her." 

"Duck!" Matt yelled, boards, bursting, showering bits of wood in all directions.

Talia ran to the door shouting around it. "Kilgharrah get a move on you overgrown lizard! That almost killed us!" 

Matt stood brushing debris off his coat moving away. 

"Bit close," he sighed. 

"Just a bit." 

With the table upturned, they sat behind it, flashes of lightning and flames, crashes and bashes, debris flew past the door frame or closer allowing them to duck, roars covered ears and magic was yelled as it all continued...

"How long?" Talia groaned heavily.

"Three hours and five minutes, in other words, five minutes from the last time you asked." 

"Damn"

"Tal, tell them to quit," Matt moaned whilst cleaning his nails with his sword.

"And get my head blown off?"

"Come on, it's getting late, Merlin can only keep him busy so long!"

"Your point?"

"I'm bored, hungry and they’re being.." he pointed to the door as a lightning bolt struck close by, "...idiots, and they’re going to get us killed!"

Sighing heavily Talia stood, brushing herself off and stormed to the door. "If I die, I'm haunting you!" She muttered before diving out the door quickly as a whip.

Matthew listened intently to the point of straining his ears above the yells of casting, roars and the odd flame until…."THAT WAS MY CLAW!" A deep booming voice Kilgharrah echoed.

"Well if you weren't such an arse, I wouldn't have to stab it, you stubborn bloody dragon! And don't you start either you old hag!"

Matthew snickered, leaning against the wall, shaking his head as laughter rippled through him, whilst trying to listen as Talia continued to rant.

"...yes, I know! Get over yourself, Cailleach or I'll run you through old woman…."

Matthew shook his head, wiping the tears away "...oh trust me, I go to that underworld and I'll haunt you so much that you'll be begging to kick me out.."

He had to agree, she probably would. Talia could be annoying as hell, that was for sure.

"..Yea you're pissed at each other, I get that but come on! When Arthur gets released from Avalon you both need him, so give it a bloody rest! Don't start, you overgrown chicken...and don't you start you wrinkled old pug!"

The second bout of hysterical laughter struck the young man bracing himself against the wall, only Talia would insult a dragon and the gatekeeper of the underworld.

"...Right, that's it!!! I'm calling a truce till next Samhain. You, Kilgharrah, home till Merlin wants you, and Cailleach back till the underworld…no, not Halloween, that my bloody time you get Samhain the eve of Halloween!"

Attempting to catch his breath, Matthew began gathering his and Talia's things.

"Yes, I promise I'll call upon you next bloody Samhain...just...behave till then!"

Matthew cleared the doorway as Kilgharrah flew off, no sign of Cailleach could be seen.

"Finished venting?"

"They are like bloody kids I tell you! I ain't cleaning this mess!" She vented, walking over to her friend gathering her stuff from him. 

"meh, we’ll just call Merlin on the way back; he can clean it up," Matthew reassured as the two made their way back out of the old palace.

"Next year we'll bring Lancelot and Merlin. It'll be fun," Talie said. 

"Only if we bring camp stuff and food," he replied. 

"Deal"

"Cool. Hey, can we stop by McDonald's on the way back? I'm starving," Matthew asked as Talia rolled her eyes. 

"Sure, Merlin wants a happy meal anyway"