#youcannotaffordme

[summoner-renzus]

Thanks to the lovely @azulity for this commission of Renzus and Valentina!

It was based on an RP where Renzus and Valentina attend a “Who’s Who” social event in a Zaunite nightclub, meeting influential chem-barons, crime lords and other movers and shakers, involving lots of dancing, whispered threats, and knives in the dark. Just another night in Zaun :)

Go follow her on Twitter!

@youcannotaffordme

@azulity

[bloodforvlad]

Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm.

Zaun is a shithole. He knew so, even before he got here. To see it up close and personal, well… He was determined to sink lower than the garbage, just so it wouldn’t touch him. But even in the lowest of lows, he was a man with standards. The place had to at least be clean.

He puts the tip of the hose into his mouth and inhales, feeling the hookah smoke burning in his lungs before exhaling. Through the haze, he watches bodies dance and writhe to the dull heartbeat of music. His paid company nestle closely, left and right, while hangers-on circle in a orbit, admiring his gems and his fine outfit and the number of bottles on the table, and hoping they’ll be noticed enough to partake of his largesse. 

He savours the heartbeats, the smoke, the low buzz of alcohol before the magic in his veins burns it away completely. His eyes close, but his senses pick out everyone in the room, every person of flesh and blood. He adores the way this room echoes quickened heartbeats, makes it easier to pick out the sluggish and impressionable.

But she…? She seems to have the same talent.

He picks her out, before taking another pull of smoke and opening her eyes. A little thing, but fierce, a queen of her domain. She might be getting comfortable, but her heart beats as steadily as a predator, and she is well aware of the circling hangers-on who silently beg and plead for her attention.

Vlad might be surrounded by bottles of expensive wine and liquor, but over there, at her table, the bottles are ones that are bought for her. Tribute for an uncaring empress, who graces smiles and gestures at her impeccable, implacable, impossible whims. The man she leans on is blissfully happy, but he keeps talking, keeps making promises, keeps trying his hardest to please the woman in his arms, lest she withdraw her favour. And she can, and she will, without warning, without reason. She does as she pleases.

Delightful. Vlad smiles himself as he blows a plume of smoke. It’s always wonderful to meet another person as skilled at inherent magic as he is.

[visionofnoxus]

💭

The Grand General stood on the balcony of a mansion, looking below to the brightly lit garden full of important diplomats, nobility and rich merchants. Taking a sip from a crystal glass, he tasted the sparkling wine. Expensive was what he’d call it shortly. The man let his bronze colored eyes scan the crowd, making observations almost lazily. His gaze stopped at a radiant red head in an elegant dress. She had a certain influence to the crowd around her, an ability to draw smiles and attention, yet slip away comfortably. She made socializing into an art form. “Miss Rusalka” Swain muttered, taking another sip from his drink. “To rise to your position in life such as yours…” He rose his glass a tiny bit in a private toast, concealed from everyone. “I salute your ambition and strength”. Taking a lng sip from the glass, Swain left the balcony. He’d be departing from the city before the night was done. But getting a first hand read of the matron of the Royal Rose, the Master Tactician felt he’d gotten something worth it from this social event.

[narcisisto-archive]

//Four names: Darius, Garen, Swain, Talon

Four names. Marry, kiss, cuddle and push away. [ From Here ]

Oof okay hold up.

Marry: Swain. For the power, of course. He gives ZERO FUCKS about what anyone would say or how Swain may look. If the GRAND GENERAL OF NOXUS literally wants to marry Draven? He’s in it for the power, and you BET he’s gonna get an ego boost to go with it: something nobody ever thought POSSIBLE.

Kiss: Garen. Yeah, just ‘cause he’d LOVE to just see the look on everyone’s face when his momentary arm candy is GAREN of all people. Like that’s Demacia’s MIGHT, and Draven DARED to be so bold despite being an in/famous Noxian?? Fuck yeah he dared and he regrets NONE OF IT.

Cuddle: Darius, platonically of course. They’ve done it before as kids, relying on each others’ company for comfort and/or to help each other with their personal issues. They still do it from time to time, whether it be to help Darius come down from any PTSD episodes or to calm Draven from when he just breaks the fuck down ‘cause oops his ‘coping mechanism’ of a persona has stopped working and cannot reboot so he’s gonna shatter like glass for a bit.

Push Away: Talon. Honestly it kinda sucks, and I can see Draven and Talon getting along, but he’d probably get annoyed if Talon started getting TOO involved in his friendship with Cass. Draven sees Cass as a sibling and, really, Talon getting overbearing about anything regarding Cass would get on Draven’s nerves.

[silly-storm-chaser]

//22, 38, 47

22- Favorite skin? DJ Sona is BAE38- Favorite adc? Jhin47- Your favorite female champ? Sona

[askthefourth]

☠

It all comes down to money in Zaun. Whatever you desire, so long as you can bear to shake the filthy hands of those you would have to pay. So long as the smog stained contract is legible, written by the lawyer with the sharpest teeth, and greased along with the heftiest of bribes. Even a Queen of whores cannot shake that truth. Nothing is sacred to Zaun. Everything can be purchased. Even her life.

[ekkod-blog]

//May I ask what music player you use? I've been having trouble with mine and need to look for other ones to use ;~;

          Hey! I completely forgot, by the way, to link my playlist in general this past weekend!!! So here’s that. Also, I use this website as my playlist host on my blog. I hope this helped.

@youcannotaffordme so you Extra see this

[the-deadeye-blog]

// ✧

     ;; sharing the feels  // accepting.

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧   I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

[summoner-renzus]

Killing in the Club

It had been such a long night.

Renzus had been in high-profile meetings with influential figures before, but most tended to be tiresome affairs held in boardrooms, or audience chambers. Zaun, however, seemed to have a very uniquely Zaunite way of holding such affairs, with a flair that the First Crow had found refreshing. While the Violet Circle was hardly a place for serious discussion, with its lively dance floor dominating its central chamber, and deep, pulsing industrial music playing at almost-deafening volume, the chem-barons had managed it...somehow. On her part, Valentina was having the time of her life, mingling with the influential crowd oozing her characteristic allure, all the while demanding the respect that her unique station was due. The Crow, on the other hand, tolerated the proceedings, with his focus occasionally interrupted by the teasing attentions of his partner.

With the major negotiations over, however, it was time for revelry. For Renzus, however, the only magically-adept soul amidst the dozens in the Violet Circle, something felt very amiss.

He stood still, amidst the well-dressed, inebriated dancers, and shut his eyes. Focusing his mental perceptions, Renzus reached out, casting his senses across the room, drowning out the alcohol-haze and head-pounding notes until he found what he was looking for. Several other soul-traces, sharpened by singular focus, unlike the incoherent revelers around him. They moved with determined purpose, cutting through the crowd like sharks through murky waters.

Assassins.

Opening his eyes, Renzus moved to intercept, a sliver of razor-steel sliding out of his sleeve. While the bouncers at the doors of the Violet Circle were quite thorough in checking for hidden weapons, the First Crow was nothing if not prepared, as were these hidden killers, it seemed. No magic, no sidearm this time; the last thing he wanted was to stir a mass panic where the confusion would allow the assassins to slip through and find their marks, who were no doubt some of the choice chem-barons that were blissfully unaware of the danger.

The first man the Crow reached died without even knowing he was being intercepted. One moment, the assassin was making his way through the crowd, the next Renzus had stepped in his path, one hand reaching around to pull him close in a parody of a lover’s embrace, the other plunging a three-inch blade into his heart.

Somehow, Valentina had found him amidst the confusion, and a brief flash of surprise crossed her pretty features when she recognized what was going on; not that it was entirely unexpected, of course. But the Queen was nothing if not resourceful, moving to Renzus’ side to receive the now-inert cadaver, taking care not to touch the blood rapidly staining the front of the man’s shirt. “There are more. Be careful.” The Crow told her, managing to get his voice heard despite the music, before vanishing into the crowd.

Valentina would take care of the body, no doubt propping it up somewhere out of sight where it would not disturb anyone. The First Crow, however, was on the move again.

The next two hitmen put up a brief, valiant resistance, but they were no match for the Crow even without his sorcery. His fingers clamped down across the first man’s mouth, silencing his cry of surprise as Renzus severed his windpipe. When the spare turned to face him, drawing a blade of his own, the Crow dropped the dying man and darted in, taking the strike across his forearm, where the knife’s edge glanced off the armour woven into his suit. An elbow strike opened the assassin’s guard, enough for a sharp kick to the knee to drop him low, where the Crow’s blade found his throat.

They were aware of him now, the remaining two. One of them broke away to face the Crow, drawing a long-barreled hextech pistol from a concealed holster. A few nearby club-goers backed away in shock as they saw a weapon drawn, but Renzus was on him like a sable blur, the pulsing strobes of the dance floor’s intermittent lights masking his approach. He threw them both to the ground, jamming his blade into the gun’s receiver, stunning his opponent with a headbutt to his nose that cracked the cartilage. The next to break was the assassin’s neck, when Renzus squirmed his way behind him and locked arms around his head.

As he stood, panting softly from the sudden exertion of such intimate killing, he saw that the last hitman never reached his target. The Queen herself had interposed her form between them, pulling the distracted killer aside with her undeniable charms. Almost laughable was the sight of a professional assassin suddenly torn between her graceful allure and his real target, although less laughable was when she shattered her champagne glass against her heeled shoe and plunged the jagged glass into his abdomen.

Now, it was the Crow’s turn to retrieve the body, flashing the Queen of Whores a roguish smile despite the macabre turn of events. The dance floor was beginning to clear out, now that the presence of freshly-killed corpses was an inescapable fact.

“Never a dull moment.” He chuckled, as the music faded and the proof of their deeds became apparent. “I believe that’s our cue to leave, my dear.”

@azulity @youcannotaffordme

[hate-spiked-blog]

//gals being pals 69-ing on val's expensive office desk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I hope these papers weren’t important.

                                                 Also, my horns make some excellent stirrups.”

[visionofnoxus]

"Privyet, Grand General." Warm was the voice of the Zaunite Queen as she approached with a glass of champagne in hand. Her scarlet dress trailed across the floor, her steps bringing her closer to the man while her lips tugged into a small smile. "I was not sure if I heard right that you were coming, nonetheless - it is nice to meet you."

The Grand General had observed the zaunite redhead closing in from the corner of his eye, but had not made moves towards it, feigning ignorance. Now however, he turned to face her, giving the tiniest of bow as polite greeting, excusing himself from the conversation he’d been having with a few city state ambassadors. 

“Miss Rusalka, as radiant in life as I’ve been told” He complimented her beauty and grace, lifting his glass a tiny bit to toast with her. “To be completely honest, I was meant to depart earlier this evening, but my ship had a strange accident. The sails’ ropes had been… Damaged and have to be changed. As such, I found myself with plenty of time to attend” He mused, giving a tiny smile to her at the irony of his misfortune. 

“However, it also meant I wasn’t properly prepared for such a dazzling event and I have to apologize for my lack of decor” The Grand General said, motioning at his dark, utilitarian military uniform. To be honest, this really made him stand out in all the glittery of silk and fine woven fabrics of the crowd. 

@youcannotaffordme

[narcisisto-archive]

// 🖋 Food!

Send 🖋 and a word and I’ll tell you some headcanons relating to it! [ From here ]@prodigal-ezreal since you also asked.

Draven isn’t exactly a glutton, but you can certainly get on his good side with his favorite foods. For the sake of putting this into a larger set of headcanons (and since two people asked for the same headcanon), I’m also going to add drinks to the mix and categorize all sweets and desserts into its own piece.

FOOD;

Draven’s favorite foods range. When it comes to legitimate meals, he’s a huge fan of pastas and poultry. Believe it or not, while he’s not a vegetarian or vegan, he actually doesn’t quite care for red meats all too much. He’ll enjoy a steak every once in a while and he’ll indulge in a burger maybe once every two weeks, but red meat never was a huge part of his diet. He’s extremely picky with how it’s cooked and will literally not eat it if there’s any semblance of pink to be seen.

Draven has an absolute love for anything spicy, meaning there were times where he’s eaten raw peppers for the sake of needing something to eat. Draven has also made the mistake of eating an entire jar of pickles because the bitterness not only matches his soul, but it’s a favorable taste to him as well. That and pickles are crunchy, meaning he loves the feeling of destroying something and getting to hear it in the process.

Seafood is 200% off the menu. He hates it, whether it’s raw, cooked, fried, etc. He will literally not eat it, nor will he try any dishes that have any traces of seafood. Draven is even put off from eating when others around him have a seafood dish, mostly because the smell alone disgusts him. Draven also has a particular hatred for onions, all forms of cabbage, scallions, and celery, also avoiding dishes that contain those, or asking for them to be left out.

Draven is severely allergic to sesame seeds and mangoes, unable to eat anything containing them without needing a doctor visit immediately. With his sesame seed allergy, this expands to sesame oil and extracts meaning that the risk is a tad higher and he must be cautious of foods that do not have the seed protein removed. With mangoes, Draven isn’t allergic to latex, but he does also have severe reactions to poison ivy and poison oak because of the urushiol found in those plants.

DRINKS;

Draven’s favorite type of alcoholic drink happens to be a sangria, often some amalgamation of apple and another ingredient. He loves his sangrias sparkling for that extra oomph, but it’s by no means necessary for him to enjoy the drink anyway. Other drinks he enjoys, liquor-wise, are strawberry lemonade vodkas and whiskey, often plain.

When it comes to soda, Draven prefers darker types that are very crisp tasting. His least favorite sodas are most fruit-flavored ones, such as grape and orange.

Draven is a huge fan of coffee and absolutely abhors tea unless it’s lemon or peach iced tea. He prefers his coffee iced, as in blended (not coffee poured over ice cubes served in a glass), and it’s usually often a mocha mixed with caramel or vanilla.

SWEETS & TREATS;

Draven’s favorite sweets are fairly easy to make or obtain. First and foremost, he adores ice cream, bonus points if it’s cake or a milkshake. His favorite ice cream flavors are cookies and cream or anything remotely minty. His favorite kind of normal cake are seven layer ones, usually filled with chocolate mousse. If you get or make an ice cream cake without the crunchy bits, he’s going to be very upset.

He has a love for apple pie and brownies, especially if they’re freshly baked and still hot/warm often served with a bit of ice cream on top or on the side. He’s also an absolute monster and will have no cares in the world about eating whipped cream straight out of the can.

Additionally, Draven loves mint far more than people expect. He’s the kind of guy who eats candy canes all year long, not even caring if someone questions him, plus they make good temporary weapons. When on the battlefield, he keeps smaller individually-wrapped mints on hand because they also help to calm his nerves or help him come down from a breakdown if one does happen.

[fourth-times-thecharm]

☠

“... but what if I want to afford it. You just... tell us we can’t afford it, like we don’t have the finances. We don’t know the price. We don’t ‘know’ what we can’t afford. 

This is poor business strategies.”

[masteredshadows]

give my precious youcannotafford me some suga

LET ME LOVE YOUR FRIENDS. // on hold until I finish the ones I currently have

fuck me I started writing this out and then chrome decided to freeze after, like, what must have been at least 500 words in and I am Mad

ANYWAY @communistofzaun I’m literally always up to give @youcannotaffordme some suga 

though I’m not actually following meg for really dumb reasons related to awkwardness about my spontaneous deletion of my ekko (timeshatterer) and extreme lack of communication to literally anyone I had plotted with regarding that whoops

but! That’s not enough to stop me from giving such an absolutely fabulous person some love, ‘cause, seriously, man, meg, you really are an amazing roleplayer, artist, and person.

Like – your worldbuilding, for example. The amount of effort you put into making Zaun feel alive is truly astounding. I dunno, before Riot’s recent event, Zaun always kinda felt like it was a little bit left behind to me, you know? A fascinating concept, but one single published art piece, a bunch of outdated characters, so on and so forth.

Yet there you were, constantly pumping out new ideas and informations and making Zaun feel alive. Half the reason I tried so hard to worldbuild on Ekko was because you were there, constantly providing inspiration. Every idea you had fit so perfectly within Zaun, adding a depth that really didn’t seem to be there in canon. Whether it’s the level of detail put into the Royal Rose or ideas about how Zaun is laid out or smaller details, like shopping districts and accessories used by Zaunites, everything you’ve ever done has been amazing, fitting, vibrant, inspiring, alive. That sort of dedication is something that continuously inspires me and that I’ve always adored seeing in the community.

It’s also something that shows in your muses, both Valentina and Vi. Both of them are really robust, well-rounded characters. Like– Take Val, for example. She, well, again, like Zaun, she really feels alive to me. She’s done bad things, but she’s not a bad person, and she really, well, fits her backstory. She’s exactly the type of person I’d expect her to be, and I really do mean that in a good way. She’s logical, she’s human, she’s alive. 

She’s so multilayered, too! Like – like you have the badass, ruthless Val who runs the Rose and gives no mercy to those who would dare hurt her girls, and you have the Val who’ll buy Ekko the little things he needs. And it works! It makes so, so, so much sense and it makes her so compelling because, just like any other human, she, well, she isn’t one-dimensional, she reacts differently depending on the situation, y’know?

And Vi, too! Whenever we had conversations about either of them, I always had this huge sense of them both belonging to something so much bigger. Whether it was talking about past events, or Vi’s history, or her personality – you took what really wasn’t that much information and made it into this incredibly well developed character with a history and a family and a life and a personality and an existence that, again, feels really, really, really alive.

This is getting long damnit.

Your art, too. I mean. I can’t throw love at you without mentioning your art. Your ability to make faces look distinct is absolutely amazing; I can’t imagine you falling prey to same-face syndrome. The way you use colours is stellar, and you’re so good at expressions and lighting and, well, everything, really. I love your art, I really, really do. 

Aaaaand you. I was (and am) terrible at initiating conversations, but I really did always enjoy talking to you. You provide excellent advice for characters, you’re friendly, you’re open, you’re honest, you’re funny, you’re intelligent. I kinda kick myself in the head sometimes for not trying to talk to you more / being such an awkward fuck because you really are a great person. I hope that life has been treating you well, that money isn’t too tight, and that you are in a good place. You deserve it. You really, really do. Good luck with everything.

[piltovers-loveletter-blog]

{ OH I almost forgot- in the subject of my old threads, I’ll be keeping a couple of really important ones going or ones I see a lot of potential for ( mostly talking starters you guys wrote me that I never replied to I’m so sorry ). 

Here are a list of people I’m planning on keeping stuff from:

@infinite-xerath

@ekkq

@sagathebeastman

@streetxcat

@summoner-renzus

@youcannotaffordme

also  @prodigal-ezreal if you reply to our ‘Can’t Fool the Sheriff’ Thread please tell me because I’d love to continue that, same with @oflittlebellsandyuzus and the first meeting thread we started ages ago ( though it might be my turn to reply to that one for all I know ) 

Sorry about the inconvenience of all this, and I hope you guys understand ;;; } 

[youcannotaffordme]

TAGGED BY: @hate-spiked​ TAGGING: @communistofzaun​ @fourth-times-thecharm​

CURRENTLY WRITING: valentina (league of legends oc, @youcannotaffordme​)

HAVE WRITTEN: 

enforcedviolence ( league of legends, vi )

luxannacrownguard ( league of legends, lux )

( various anime character blogs whose URLs I forget ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

MIGHT BRING BACK: I’m currently in the works of fixing up Lux’s blog so I can bring her back. I’m just lazy about reading new lore and incorporating it into my headcanons because I don’t want to change much about what I wrote... but oh well.

WANT TO WRITE: 

miss fortune ( league of legends - it is STUPIDLY tempting but I already have one bad ass redhead on my plate, I don’t know if I have enough energy for another )