#your character died in Tiger and Crane

[movielosophy]

A Journey To Love | You don't know anything.

[tea-with-cinnamontoast]

so, we’ve all at least heard of the iron fist, right? whether it’s from the comics or netflix show, i am 90% sure you’ve at least heard about him! well, i’m here to tell you that there’s more that meets the eye! :)

the netflix show doesn’t flesh out danny as a character that well and some of you probably despise him (...i do too) but his comic self is waaay different. if nmcu danny is whiny and all "because im the iron fist" every five minutes, then comics danny is a mix of a silly little guy, dumbass (affectionate), and a walking sunshine.

of course, there are some comics where he may act a lot different, but he is just a green flag—albeit traumatised—little guy!

the iron fist show itself MESSES UP the lore so badly that i literally do not know what’s so special about the iron fist. so here’s a (not so) deep dive into the lore of the iron fist mantle until lin lie! and some comic recommendations of danny :D

(open the cut for more 💖)

let’s start with the basics, shall we?

What is the Iron Fist? Who is the Iron Fist?

the iron fist is a power that comes from a dragon named shou-lao. this power is the dragon’s chi—or the soul, according to chinese belief. this chi allows them to access the dragon’s powers and unlock different ways of using said powers! the most common was is to turn their fists into "things of unto iron"!

however, the iron fist is not just a power, it’s a mantle given to those who can defeat the dragon themselves. these candidates are trained in k’un lun and if they do win, they will be named the champion of k’un lun. the first iron fist is quan yaozu.

What? What the hell is K’un Lun? What do you mean ‘champion’?

i’m glad you asked! k’un lun is one of the capital cities of heaven! there are 7 capital cities of heaven, according to iron fist lore, each with their own champions who possesses different abilities. they are also called the immortal weapons.

(note that the new weapon in this picture is davos, a long time nemesis of danny, because of circumstances. the actual weapon is the crane mother’s child.)

the fat cobra is from peng lai, a child of a pig farmer raised in abandonment. he was an opera singer as a child and fought in both sides of the world war.

the bride of nine spiders is from the kingdom of spiders, yet her origins are unknown.

dog brother comes from the under city and used to be a poor street orphan with an adoptive brother to protect. he was a slave, too.

tiger’s beautiful daughter is a strong woman from tiger island, an island where women ruled over men. i’m not kidding, in the one chapter where her origins are introduced, she literally destroyed the patriarchy. we stan.

prince of orphans is from z’gambo. unfortunately, we do not know his origins, but he is powerful. like necromancer powerful.

read more about them in ‘the immortal weapons’! absolutely worth it.

Wait, wait, wait. The Immortal Weapons? Are they immortal or just the mantle? Is Danny immortal?

...yes and no.

they are immortal until they die in battle. in a sense where the immortality only applies to their age not their whole body. however, this is highly speculation, since we do not actually know if the term ‘immortal’ refers to them or their title. what we do know is that danny refused to eat the apple of immortality, making him more or less fully human. and he dies multiple times. sort of.

Ooookay... How do you become the Iron Fist?

to become the iron fist, you must be trained in k’un lun as a child of k’un lun. these trainings are watched under lei kung, the thunderer, who is immortal. those who want to challenge shou-lao has to fight each other and win before they are allowed to fight the dragon. these fights are a test of not only physical strength, but spiritual strength, too. chi is like... an inner power. a part of your soul.

then, they fight the dragon. if they figure out how to and win, they will be given the mark of the dragon (the iconic iron fist logo) and they must plunge their fists into the dragon’s molten heart. survive.

Wait, if only a child of K’un Lun is allowed to be the Iron Fist, why does Danny become one? Isn’t he American?

orientalism

well, he was raised there, i guess. dunno. in orson randall’s case, though, it works because he was born in k’un lun despite his parents being american.

Who’s Orson Randall?

orson randall is danny’s predecessor. he’s the iron fist of the 1900s. he had fought in both world wars and more. tired old man. also a mentor of danny’s dad (whoopee). really a fucking cool character to read about definitely check out the orson oneshots.

Who’s Danny’s successor, then?

a chinese kid named lin lie! formerly the sword master, lie was last seen in death of doctor strange: white fox. he sort of died in that comic but SIKE! he’s back as the iron fist babyyyy !!!!!

Who’s my favourite Iron Fist?

it’s danny rand, duh. 🙄 (it’s wu ao-shi. what a girlboss).

What the hell.

hey man you’re gonna love danny and his tragic but interesting backstories i swear it’s just weird to summarize/say out loud 😮‍💨

anyway! some recommendations:

the immortal iron fist - start with this one, basics and a rework of his older comics history !!!

the immortal weapons + orson randall oneshots - just fun as fuck

avengers volume 2 (i think it was 2012)

defenders (2018) - if you like the nmcu this one is for you!

iron fist: living weapon

iron fist: phantom limb - blood, gore, and body horror warning!

immortal iron fists - girl dad danny rand im not kidding he’s so silly here

heart of the dragon

iron fist (2020) - lin lie !!

that’s it thank you for listening to me autistic rambling

[camarilla-intuition]

Locked Tomb Daemon AU concept notes.

I’m leaving old concepts in these notes but crossed out, since I considered a couple options for each character. Contains only spoilers for Gideon the ninth, not Harrow. that will be a seperate post some other time!

Gideon: Lion? Strawberry tiger? Eagle? Bearded vulture for its bone Eatin. Big, gold and red, wants sun and space and freedom, Feral ish. He/him. Settles sometime in the normal puberty range, never thinks about it to much, because what is there to think about. but his settling does relate to their internal decision that they gotta get out of the Ninth for the second. Just as vocal with other people as Gideon is, which is odd to other houses where sometimes daemons just don’t address other humans.

Harrow: Cotton mouth? Weasel? Horned sea snake, something that doesn’t know what the sun can do for it, salt water, venomous, slow on land, faster in the water which they don’t know, also wears bone paint. Weird intense eyes. She/her. Spends most of her time coiled around Harrows neck. I might draw a little comic about her settling later? idk but its serious spoilers. She for sure settled early

Ianthe: oriental mini kingfisher? Small, Colorful, easily hidden? Blue headed hummingbird? Grey or Pied Butcherbird, Duller colors, surprising violence, corvid, song bird, makes symbolic sense out of her stabbing Nabs through. She/her

Coronabeth: bird of paradise or golden pheasant, he/him, constantly strutting into room ahead of her, grooming hair and other twos feathers in private. 

Naberius: Peahen Demoiselle crane? She’s Spurred and capable of fighting. Viewed as a matching set to the girls, iridescent feathers on neck. Less attention grabbing. Than Coronabeth but still pretty n vain.

Palamedes: wears a moth pin deceptively, long tailed weasel, stoat? Something with clever hands. She/her

Camilla: fisher cat, otter? Monitor lizard or Frill necked lizard? Also wears a moth pin. He/him

Abigail: ram, he/him,  

Magnus: mastiff or leonberger dog

Jeannemary: unsettled, Likes being a mimic of others based on the admiration she feels in certain scenes. he/him

Isaac: unsettled for most of book, likes being a hooved animal like Abigails, lots of pack species associated with fourth house. He/him. Settles into something maybe after the murder? uncertain. maybe beagle?

Judith: pony or working horse?

Marta: German Shepard? Gold retriever? Lots of practical working animals in second house

Dulcinea: Orchid mantis

Protesilaus: small Copper butterfly

These are stereotypical for seventh house. Easily mimic-able by Cytherea(will detail in harrow spoiler separate post)

Silas: a leech or tick spider monkey, douc, mangabey, White washed or albino. Freely handles colum’s daemon during soul siphoning. Not vise versa till right at the end maybe?

Colum: lab rat, spaniel type smaller dog?

Ortus: a shy Bull

Aiglamene: one eyed Horned Owl

Crux: a Shaggy Wolf or Coyote

World difference notes:

I’m not following the daemon gender=the gender of your romantic inclinations thing, just going with the feel of the daemons character.

Teacher and other first house constructs just don’t have daemons

People don’t bother identifying their animal species much, there are still the obvious, dogs are dogs and they have meanings like loyalty and companionship, but to most houses the difference between a wolf, a hyena, or a husky seem mostly behavioral that’s relegated to the individuals personality.... the exception is the 6th house who maintain a general knowledge of animal species and symbology of pre resurrection humanity to some extent.

Pal and Cam’s moth pins are not meant to last to long as far as tricks go, but do double as a kind of poker face, giving them a chance to read into the others daemons before people can see theirs. Also pretty common on 6th, where it’s not inappropriate or anything, but also discouraged to blatantly flaunt your daemon.

Sometimes its rumored that if you please God, he’ll tell you all about what your daemon Means. (this is where most of the 6th accounts come from).

There are stereotypes of daemons for each house, second is the most diverse but you’d see a lot of working animals, big ones are less a problem to daily life here than in some of the houses colonies. Third is known for ostentatious, haughty forms to match haughty peoples. Fourth, a lot of pack/schooling/family group animals. Fifth a lot of domesticated types. 6th seems to stay small with less fur or feather, more scales or other. Seventh is bugs, pretty ones esp. Eighth idk but i keep picturing paler colors. Ninth known for big sturdy things or guard dog types from its Cavs, and creepy crawlies from its Necros.

Rumors are that each house has some way to control the types they’ll settle into but its largely false. Eighth and Sixth probably get the most of it.

Dust is not a term used here probably died with Earth or fell out of fashion. Thanergy and Thalergy still the working terms, Sin is less of a prevalent theme, I’m thinking maybe they see Settling as a small death process?

[missn11]

I tried sending this question on Anon earlier (only my desktop has Tumblr and I was zoning out away from thinking of this), but what if Ming Xiao was a Cainite and Nines and LaCroix were Kuei-jin? What Clan/Dharmas would they be, and how would they feel about it, and how would it affect their storylines? Like maybe Nines rose and was taken in by the Chinatown Wu, and LaCroix has been living somewhere in China since the Napoleonic Wars? Thanks!

@badass-at-cuddling oh wow this is a big question to go into but I’ll try my best! XD

Well, I think it would be best to make changes to LaCroix’s and Nines’ backstory since as far I know Kuei-jin are made from people of Eastern or Southern Asian descent.

Now I think we can keep Nines being an American, in this case a Chinese American (he could be even be part latino as well), and it would makes he could’ve received the second breath after dying during a strike or perhaps he got caught in a cross fire, regardless, he would’ve died young and before his time. (Noooo ;_;)

Considering Nines’ clan in vtmb being a Brujah, his connection to humanity through his politcal beliefs, I feel the Dharma of the Dance of the Thrashing Dragon is likeily the one that fits him best since tbh, not only would that give him the chance to continue to fight for others but also give him a second chance to really live life to the fullest. (Honestly I was thinking of the Way of the Resplendent Crane for him as well but I think that’s too restricted for Nines’ character to be honest but I wonder what you guys might think)

I do think Nines would be quickly taken in by LA Chinatown Kuei-jin but I do think he would butt heads with the elders a lot but also perhaps more being willing to listen to them as well, provided they didn’t treat him badly that is. Although, he could end up becoming the leader of a movement within the Chinatown court that don’t want to be messed around by their elders. But while I think Nines would try to broker some peace treaty with the Anarchs in LA he could end up butting heads with some of the more rowdy Anarchs. And Nines wouldn’t feel happy with the mainland Kuei-jin taking over and saying “Hey we gotta kick or enlighten those awful Cainites to stop the Sixth Age!” but he would also be fed up with the Anarchs just leaving their shit everywhere and whoops the freaking Camarilla and the Sabbat are rolling into town as well!

So I would say that Nines is in a bind in what to do! 0_0

As for LaCroix, oh man this is a tricky one, because I’m trying to figure out if there was enough of a French Chinese presence in France at the time of Napoleon or not.

If there was and they allowed Chinese men to join the army then, I think that LaCroix could have been a French ex noble’s illegitimate son with a Chinese woman and even though there was a draft, I think he would want to prove himself to his father and country that he is worth something. (Ohhh don’t make me sad again ;_;) But he instead dies on the battle field and receiving the second breath and finding out that all of the beliefs his Chinese heritage actually are partly true and he would be super confused and likey eat some people before coming to on his own or being found by his fellow Kuei-jin and after some time he sent around europe to scope things for the Kuei-jin (not for conquering purposes per say but to see if there is any way to help the Kuei-jin in the mainlands).

However, if not then I can see him being a son of a trader in Hong Kong (obvs he isn’t going to be called LaCroix here in this case) and soon following in his father’s footsteps, perhaps even getting involved in the opium trade, (I’m going to be honest here and say that I don’t know as much about China during the 1800s at this point so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know :D) However, he would’ve died young and maybe to move his brith and death forward to from liekly 1794-1815 to 1815-1839 so he could have been involved in the first Opium War and died in the conflict. Upon receiving the second breath and being found and taken to the Hong Kong court.

Now picking LaCroix’s Dharma in either origin story was difficult for me to be honest, but I’m thinking for the first origin LaCroix might have been attracted to the Howl of the Devil-Tiger Dharma, since I can see him wanting to be a powerful demon (Yomi ain’t a nice place bro) and that could go for his second orgin too.

Buttt the other Dharmas he might also go for are the Way of the Resplendent Crane or the Dance of the Thrashing Dragon Dharma, Resplendent Crane cause he might feel guilty for not following tradition and sinning a lot when he was alive and Thrashing Dragon so he could really live his unlife to the fullest!

Now LaCroix regardless would either be sent to LA to asist the Kuei-jin in conquering the city or he would already be in LA and butting heads with Nines no matter his Dharma! XD But LaCroix would have ambitions of becoming an  Ancestor (It’s going to take a bit though) but first he’s going to do his bit to help the effort to stop the Sixth Age (it’s going to get in the way of his goal darn it!) and of course that means screwing over the Kindred through manipulative means!

Ming Xiao is a tricky one for me as I wanna say she could be a Ventrue due commanding air and her ability to be a Leader of a community, I can totally see her rock Domination and Presence easily and with Fortiude, she’s one tough lady that’s hard to kill! However, she could be a Tzimisce, maybe a Tzimisce who isn’t too into changing her image so much but is into having a kick ass war form! (either way, she’ll have some high level Vicissitude baby!!!)

Okay as for Ming Xiao’s Kindred origins, I’m thinking that while the Kuei-jin are the main undead creatures of Eastern Asia there is a tiny population of Kindred scattered around as well. and one of those Kindred (Ventrue/Tzimisce) found an interest in Ming Xiao, in my headcanon a unhappy and necglected wife to a minster of the imperial palace during the Tang Dynasty. A beautiful, intelligent, charismatic and manipulative who would do anything to get what she wanted (since her husband wasn’t going to, lol!) she quickly drew the eye of her sire and they wanted to show a fun time and have her as their companion (dominating or meatcrimes) and embraced her after ghouling her husband.

And after Ming Xiao enjoys herself and gaining herself some power in a little domain for around 400 years (I guess she got bored with her sire and ate them or something) or so, she’ll go into torpor after the Kuei-jin come a knocking to tell her to knock it off. so after like a 1000 years or so (phew that’s a long nap) Ming Xiao wakes up and sees that China had really changed, but oh boy those Kuei-jin are sure to be annoying when she tries to build a domain here again!

Rude, why won’t they let her to do meat crimes or any dominating  anyway, instead she’ll be sharing her wisdom to those who need to hear it duh. Regardless, Ming Xiao then searches for a great place to crash without these annoying Kuei-jin trying to kill her! 

So Ming Xiao’s arrival in LA is going to spook some of the Kindred cause she basically nearly at Methuselah level, but they don’t know it’s her cause she’s not advertising how old she really is. However she is real annoyed that the Kuei-jin are here as well, and well the Camarilla are too european, the Sabbat are just no and the Anarchs really need her help! So Ming Xiao starts subtly recruiting herself some pawns likemind Kindred to help her cause to get the Anarchs’ shit together.

So here you have it, Nines and LaCroix are still butting heads but are way more on the same and Ming Xiao manipulativing the Anarchs for her goals, it’s quite a difference but yet has some shades of the original plot of VTMB!

Phew this was a long post, I hope this answers your question @badass-at-cuddling I’m sorry it took so long to answer! thank you again for the ask it was really fun to think about! :D

[televinita]

Books Read in 2019: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book? 

Below, the books are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end. This year I have added the category “how I heard of it” as well, because I just think that info is neat.

FICTION

The Visitor - K.L. Slater. 2018. Read because: Ten episodes of The Good Cop weren't enough, so I tried to find something w/ similar characters, and this looked kinda like "TJ as a slightly more withdrawn weirdo." By the time I realized it wouldn't work due to being British, I was too excited by the prospect of a thriller to stop.

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

Like the Red Panda - Andrea Seigel. 2004. The back cover and first few pages reminded me of a friend I had once.

How I heard of it: Library

The Lost Vintage - Ann Mah. 2018. What's that? You've got some secret family history/a mystery from the past to be solved using old personal papers, including a diary? My jams.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (4th ed.) - Emilie Autumn. 2017. I googled for books that promised unique formatting/art design, and Emilie Autumn has always been an intriguing enigma to me.

I Heard the Owl Call My Name - Margaret Craven. 1967. I know this title, but not why -- when I tripped over it in the teen* section and saw how tiny it was, I decided to find out what it was about. (*it's there because it's often taught in schools. It's here because its intended audience is adult.)

Escape - Barbara Delinsky. 2011. Went looking for an audiobook -- the cover with a woman standing on a small bridge amidst the woods drew me in (I can't find that cover on the internet though), and the idea of abandoning responsibility and driving off to a small town sounded like my dream.

How I heard of it: Library

Saul and Patsy - Charles Baxter. 2003. Another search result from my attempt to cast Josh Groban in a novel -- Midwestern-set and a man very much in love with his wife, no worries about the relationship being wrecked? Sweet! (though ultimately, I had to mentally recast)

How I heard of it: Googling

California - Edan Lepucki. 2014. Needed an audiobook. The title and green forest cover caught my eye, and the off-the-grid life + promise of a mysterious and possibly suspicious settler community described in the plot appealed to me.

How I heard of it: Library

The Lost Queen of Crocker County - Elizabeth Leiknes. 2018. Woman moves back home to rural Iowa in a book described as a "love letter to the Midwest"? Look at all these good choices.

How I heard of it: Library

All The Things You Are - Declan Hughs. 2014. Was looking for a different book w/ this title, but saw Spooky Dark House cover + wild summary and wanted to know how that could possibly happen / what the explanation was.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

Tumbledown Manor - Helen Brown. 2016. Cover love. A book about restoring a historic family manor?? BRING ME THERE.

How I heard of it: Library

The War Bride's Scrapbook - Caroline Preston. 2017. IT'S LITERALLY A SCRAPBOOK. I loved her other one like this.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day - Winifred Watson. 1938. Rewatched the movie and needed to relive an alternate take immediately (especially for more Michael).

How I heard of it: special features on the DVD

April & Oliver - Tess Callahan. 2009. This just screamed "(slightly less storybook) Ned/Chuck AU!!" [Pushing Daisies] at me. There was semi-platonic comfort-spooning in the second chapter, COME ON.

How I heard of it: Half Price Books

A Short Walk to the Bookshop - Aleksandra Drake. 2019. This looked like an even more solid Ned/Chuck AU, missing only the childhood connection/age similarity, with bonus fave keywords anxiety, widower, bookshop and dog.

How I heard of it: Googling

Girl Last Seen - Nina Laurin. 2017. Recently watched "Captive" and wanted a story of the aftermath from the captive's perspective.

How I heard of it: Goodreads (specifically, I looked up an older book by this title intending to check out related recs, but this came up first)

The Road to Enchantment - Kaya McLaren. 2017. Gorgeous cover/title + "single [pregnant] woman inherits late mother's ranch" = an alternate life I want to try on.

How I heard of it: Library

From Sand and Ash - Amy Harmon. 2016. Love between childhood best friends who can’t (well, aren’t supposed to) touch? Sounds like a Ned/Chuck AU to me!

How I heard of it: a book blog post

My Oxford Year - Julia Whelan. 2018. Always here for age-appropriate student/teacher romances -- I had this one saved for a while -- but read now specifically to cast David Tennant.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Reckoning at Gossamer Pond - Jaime Jo Wright. 2018. There's a mystery from the past being solved in the present. Also, "inherited hoarder's trailer" made me v. curious about what was inside.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

My Husband the Stranger - Rebecca Done. 2017. It's Find Books That Remind Me Of David Tennant's Roles Month, and this was my crack at "Recovery."

How I heard of it: Googling

The House on Foster Hill - Jaime Jo Wright. 2017. Fixing up a spooky abandoned historic house + solving a mystery from the past in the present!

How I heard of it: a book blog post

Broadchurch - Erin Kelly. 2014. Fell in love with the show, had to immediately relive it in text form.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vanishing - Wendy Webb. 2014. Spooky historic mansion from a reliable author for the spookening season.

How I heard of it: looking up the author’s back catalog

The Scholar - Dervla McTiernan. 2019. The Ruin - Dervla McTiernan. 2018. "Hmmm looks kind of like (Irish) Broadchurch but where the detective character has a girlfriend to fuss over and worry about. Nice." Read out of order because the second one had more girlfriend content, and enjoyed it enough to go back for book 1.

How I heard of it: Googling

The Day She Died - Catriona McPherson. 2014. The cover looked perfect for the Spook Season/gloomy weather. Sign me up for insta-families and murder mysteries w/ MCs in possible danger any day.

How I heard of it: library (literally because it was right next to McTiernan)

Still Missing - Chevy Stevens. 2010. Collecting base material for when I play this scenario (abduction/prolonged captivity and its aftermath) out w/ TV characters I like.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

This Is How You Lose The Time War - Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone. 2019. It sounded EXACTLY like a (genderbent) Doctor/Master or Crowley/Aziraphale relationship.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

The Tale of Halcyon Crane - Wendy Webb. 2010. Wanted an audiobook and I like this author (esp. for spook season).

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

The Child Garden - Catriona McPherson. 2015. I liked her previous book and this setting looked even spookier and more atmospheric.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Quiet Neighbors - Catriona McPherson. 2016. One last dip into this author...because what part of "woman gets a job organizing the books in 'the oldest bookshop in a town full of bookshops' + an old cottage to stay in" does not sound like my dream life?

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Doctor Who: The Nightmare of Black Island - Mike Tucker. 2006. After 2.5 months in a Ten/Rose spiral, the time was nigh to pluck one of their novels I didn’t get around to reading back in my original fandom heyday.

How I heard of it: can't remember

Misery - Stephen King. 1987. I just woke up one day and decided I was in the mood to try this infamous mother of all literary whumps.

How I heard of it: can’t remember

The Whisper Man - Alex North. 2019. Went looking for books that would remind me of the father/son dynamic in "The Escape Artist."

How I heard of it: Googling

Open Your Eyes - Paula Daly. 2018. Second crack at a "Recovery"-shaped novel (it failed instantly because I didn’t take the possibility of diversity into account, but suspense is still a good genre regardless).

How I heard of it: Googling

The Last - Hanna Jameson. 2019. "Dystopian psychological thriller" + the gorgeous hotel on the cover.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

------------------

YOUNG ADULT

Blood Wounds - Susan Beth Pfeffer. 2011. Established quality author + (what I thought was a) thriller premise.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Beware That Girl - Teresa Totten. 2016. I wanted an audiobook, and contemporary YA options are limited at the library. The mystery/thriller aspect sounded good enough to spend 8+ hours with.

How I heard of it: library

Trafficked - Kim Purcell. 2012. I am mystified/intrigued by domestic/non-sexual slavery, and have not seen the topic covered in YA.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Wild Bird - Wendelin Van Draanen. 2017. I have long been fascinated by teen reform camps for girls in the wilderness.

How I heard of it: library

The Year of Luminous Love - Lurlene McDaniel. 2013. The Year of Chasing Dreams - Lurlene McDaniel. 2014.

The library didn't have Girl With the Broken Heart, but it did have a fat duology featuring similar elements of horses + tragic illness, and a trio of friends that called to mind Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

The Pull of Gravity - Gae Polisner. 2011. I was looking for quality male friendships, but the male/female friendship + road trip in this search result sounded like I could cast them as teen versions of Survivor contestants. I forget which ones.

How I heard of it: Googling

The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles) - Amy Spalding. 2018. Established quality author + bright cover, cool title, burger quest, MC's love of fashion and job in a clothing store, and summer in L.A. setting

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Tiger Eyes - Judy Blume. 1981. Found out Amy Jo Johnson was the mom in the movie version, decided to read the book as prep since once again, I knew the title, but not why I knew it.

Darius the Great Is Not Okay - Adib Khorram. 2018. I turned the internet upside down in search of books with quality male friendships, and was pointed here.

How I heard of it: Googling

Big Doc's Girl - Mary Medearis. 1941. Went looking for vintage stories of simple country girls who reminded me of Katharine McPhee's character in The House Bunny. (spoiler alert: this was not it even a little bit, why did I think it was)

How I heard of it: Googling

With Malice - Eileen Cook. 2016. Always here for random teen thrillers, including a fictionalized version of Amanda Knox.

How I heard of it: library

The Girls of No Return - Erin Saldin. 2012. Like I said, I'm big on girls reform camps in the wilderness.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Hope Was Here - Joan Bauer. 2000. Needed an audiobook. This one was short and by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: library

Rules of the Road - Joan Bauer. 1998. Best Foot Forward - Joan Bauer. 2006. Bought the first super-cheap a while ago because of the cover/road trip aspect/fascinating first few pages; read NOW to keep the Bauer train rolling, followed immediately by its sequel.

How I heard of it: Goodwill/Goodreads

Now Is Everything - Amy Giles. 2017. Interesting format, sympathetic-sounding main character (edit: What Makes You Beautiful - Ha Ha Ha version.mp3), potential for a sweet and protective romance.

How I heard of it: library

Radical - E.M. Kokie. 2016. Survivalist/prepper teen?  Intriguing and underrepresented concept in YA.

How I heard of it: library

Hit the Road - Caroline B. Cooney. 2006. “It's spring, which means it's time to think about road trips.” Plus I just read a fun teen + old lady on the road book (Rules of the Road). It's thematic.

How I heard of it: library

I Am Still Alive - Kate Alice Marshall. 2018. I dig survival stories, especially in the wilderness, and this one was well recced.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Caged Graves - Dianne K. Salerni. 2013. Spook cover!! I MUST KNOW WHY THERE ARE CAGES OVER THESE GRAVES.

How I heard of it: library

Fancy Free - Betty Cavanna. 1961. Found cheap and will read this author always.

How I heard of it: antique store

Once And For All - Sarah Dessen. 2017. Stubborn determination to complete this author's canon and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Wired Man and Other Freaks of Nature - Sashi Kaufman. 2016. People in the Goodreads reviews were mad that the guys were so close yet not gay for each other. That's the very specific male friendship wheelhouse I've been looking for! Plus I know this author can write teen boys in a way I can tolerate.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Field Notes on Love - Jennifer E. Smith. 2019. Needed an audiobook and this was on display at the library; it looked cute and fluffy and I was ready for an antidote to the Dessen book.

How I heard of it: library

Midnight Sun - Trish Cook. 2017. Needed an audiobook and sick!lit seemed the most reliable of my options, given that previews for the movie had looked okay and it was real short.

How I heard of it: library

9 Days and 9 Nights - Katie Cotugno. 2018. Sequel to a book that drove me insane, but where I loved the writing style and was frustratingly fond of the characters so I Had 2 Know what happened next.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Your Destination Is On The Left - Lauren Spieller. 2018. Attractive cover + keywords like "nomadic RV lifestyle," Santa Fe, post-high-school YA, and internship

How I heard of it: library

Weird Girl and What's His Name - Meagan Brothers. 2015. X-Philes?? In MY modern-day YA fiction?? (with a side of inappropriate age-mismatched relationship?)  My interest is more likely than you'd think!

How I heard of it: library

All Out of Pretty - Ingrid Palmer. 2018. Attractive design + arresting first page piqued my curiosity

How I heard of it: library

Hitchhike - Isabelle Holland. 1977. Vintage book w/ a puppy on the cover, by an author I like.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Send No Blessings - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 1990. Reread from high school after it came up on the What's The Name of That Book? discussion group; felt a strong pull of positive feelings but couldn't remember much.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Year of the Gopher - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 1987 Wanted better understanding of the source material before reading an essay about this book and the above in Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature.

How I heard of it: another book

Up In Seth's Room - Norma Fox Mazer. 1979 There was an essay about this in Lost Masterworks too. I had read it a long time ago and remembered NOT liking it, but figured I might as well revisit it to review on Goodreads.

How I heard of it: library

Blizzard's Wake - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 2002. Happened to be on the shelf when I checked to see what non-Alice books of hers the library had in stock, and figured as long I'm on a Naylor kick, this might as well happen. Mainly ‘cause I saw "deadly blizzard" on the back and was like "WOW this seems useful for my hurt/comfort scenario stockpile."

How I heard of it: library

A Whole New World - Liz Braswell. 2015. Seeing the new Aladdin trailer blew up my heart with FEELINGS for the original, so I went looking for a YA retelling. Can't believe I found an actual Disney-based retelling.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

After the Dancing Days - Margaret I. Rostkowski. 1986. The connection between Roy and the little girl in The Fall reminded me of this book, so I reread it specifically to visualize Andrew as Lee Pace.

How I heard of it: Library

There's Someone Inside Your House - Stephanie Perkins. 2017. I'll read most any teen thriller you throw at me. The more murders the better.

How I heard of it: Library

All the Forever Things - Jolene Perry. 2017. Loved the author's writing style on a previous book, but couldn't stomach the love triangle. Wanted to give her another chance.

How I heard of it: Library

Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Saenz. 2012. Been on my TBR for a while because quality male friendship; read it now to see if I should keep or get rid of the dollar store copy I bought. (answer: get rid of. it's good but not amazing to me personally)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Hollow Girl - Hillary Monahan. 2017. Violent revenge fantasy against rapists? Especially to save the life of a guy you like who was brutally beaten during your assault? Heck yeah.

How I heard of it: Library

The Opposite of Love - Sarah Lynn Scheerger. 2014. The hurt/comfort potential was off the charts and it vaguely reminded me of Ryan/Marissa (the O.C.).

How I heard of it: Library

Sophomore Year is Greek to Me - Meredith Zeitlin. 2015. It just looked light and cute, like summer.

How I heard of it: Library

Girl Online On Tour - Zoe Sugg. 2015. Girl Online Going Solo - Zoe Sugg. 2016. Two sequels to a book I enjoyed.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Plague Land - Alex Scarrow. 2017. Plague Land Reborn - Alex Scarrow. 2018. Always here for illness-based apocalypse/dystopia. Would have finished the trilogy but library doesn’t have book 3 yet.

How I heard of it: Library

Pretty Fierce - Kieran Scott. 2017. Spy daughter of spies running for her life along w/ doting boyfriend (named Oliver, a name that has never let me down in fiction)? The ship radar is sounding OFF.

How I heard of it: Library

The Leaving - Lynn Hall. 1980. Will read any LH book, but this one was small and easy to take on an overnight trip plus everything about the summary and first couple of pages drew me in.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Speed of Life - J.M. Kelly. 2016. Beautiful cover, blue collar family, unusual premise (twin sisters co-parenting the baby one of them had, no dad in sight), and I love stories where teens are (essentially) head of household.

How I heard of it: Thrift Books

Freshman Year and Other Unnatural Disasters - Meredith Zeitlin. 2012. Looked light and cute, because it's back-to-school time and lately I've been enjoying study blogs from people just starting high school.

How I heard of it: Library

The Land of 10,000 Madonnas - Kate Hattemer. 2016. Unsupervised teens a-wanderin' through Europe? Sign me up for that vicarious wanderlust.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

A Thousand Boy Kisses - Tillie Cole. 2016. A romance w/ astronomical hurt/comfort potential. (spoiler alert it’s too sickly saccharine even for me)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Hooked - Catherine Greenman. 2011. Random reread of a book I had come to believe should have been 4 stars rather than 3, but couldn’t remember well enough to feel confident in changing the rating without checking first.

How I heard of it: Library

Appaloosa Summer - Tudor Robins. 2014. Horsey YA + after years of it being on my TBR, the author saw me post about this fact and offered to send me a free paperback copy for review.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I Stop Somewhere - T.E. Carter. 2018. I too identified as a girl my classmates would never notice was missing (moreso in college, but still). Plus it's getting close to Halloween, so time for spooky/true-crime-esque reads.

How I heard of it: library

What Waits in the Woods - Kieran Scott. 2015. An ideal spook setting for the spook season!

How I heard of it: Library

Illuminae - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff. 2015. The formatting/art design just sounded cool and unique.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

Boot Camp - Todd Strasser. 2006. I went to the library to check out a different book of his, but this caught my eye because WHUMPITY WHUMP (with a side of pining for the teacher he had previously been in a relationship with).

The Last Trip of the Magi - Michael Lorinser. 2012. Picked up cheap at a book sale for the struggling-to-survive-a-winter-night-outside aspect.

A List of Cages - Robin Roe. 2017. Male friendship loaded with hurt/comfort.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

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MIDDLE GRADE

Sparrow Road - Sheila O'Connor. 2011. The setting -- an artist's retreat at an old mansion on sprawling estate grounds formerly used as an orphanage -- captivated me.

How I heard of it: a Little Free Library (outside of a mansion repurposed as an art council's center, actually)

Annie's Life in Lists - Kristin Mahoney. 2018. I LOVE LISTS.

How I heard of it: library

Hope is a Ferris Wheel - Robin Herrera. 2014. Still grinding my teeth over Dessen's Once and For All, I was desperate for a sweet middle grade story to refresh my palate. Gimme that bright cover. Ooh, and a trailer park kid?

How I heard of it: Library

The Education of Ivy Blake - Ellen Airgood. 2015. Prairie Evers - Ellen Airgood. 2012. Also intended as a Dessen antidote, I picked up the sequel first due to the incredibly charming excerpt on the back, and then fell so in love with the character and writing style I needed more of her world.

How I heard of it: Library

When You Reach Me - Rebecca Stead. 2009. Rave reviews from friends; mystery aspect sounded intriguing.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Counting By 7s - Holly Goldberg Sloan. 2013. Picked up cheap at a fundraiser garage sale I wanted to support; seemed easily readable.

Summerlost - Ally Condie. 2016. Young!Ned/Chuck AU?? (spoiler alert: maybe if it wasn't so boring)

How I heard of it: Googling

Where The Heart Is - Jo Knowles. 2019. "Country girl taking care of the animals at a hobby farm across the road" = the childhood dream and also I wanted to ignore the summary and hope I could still get a Young!Ned/Chuck AU. How I heard of it: Library

The Wizards of Once - Cressida Cowell. 2017. Twice Magic - Cressida Cowell. 2018. First one: David Tennant reads the audiobook, and literally no other reasons.

Second one: Ah heck turns out I kind of loved how David Tennant read that audiobook and want more.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece - Annabel Pitcher. 2011. David Tennant reads the audiobook, and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

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NONFICTION

Seinology: The Sociology of Seinfeld - Tim Delaney. 2006. It's sociology, it's Seinfeld, what's not to love?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Survivor: The Ultimate Game - Mark Burnett. 2000. At the beginning of the year I was obsessed w/ this show like never before, so a detailed recap of one of its seasons seemed like the ticket to complement that.

How I heard of it: Googling

Jungle: A Harrowing True Story of Survival - Yossi Ghinsberg. 1985. Loved the movie, wanted to relive it in text form.

How I heard of it: special features on the DVD

Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature - ed. Connie Zitlow. 2002. There was an essay about Send No Blessings in here. If that's the kind of book this book is about, I wanna hear all about it.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

Animals in Young Adult Fiction - Walter Hogan. 2009. From the same publishing line as the above, which I loved, I figured this was even MORE my specialized reading niche.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Phantoms of the Hudson Valley - Monica Randall. 1996. When I have I ever NOT wanted to read about grand mansions of yesteryear -- especially if some are abandoned ruins?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Seven Cats and the Art of Living - Jo Coudert. 1996. Picked up cheap at a library sale because cats (and the cute author-illustrated cover painting).

Psychic Pets and Spirit Animals: True Stories From The Files of Fate Magazine. 1996. Random reread of a childhood favorite.

How I heard of it: B. Dalton's (THAT’S how long I’ve had this book, y’all).

Extreme Couponing - Joni Meyer-Crothers with Beth Adelman. 2013. Who doesn't love saving money? But I am not very coupon-savvy and wanted to learn.

How I heard of it: Library

Cabin Lessons: A Tale of 2x4s, Blisters and Love - Spike Carlsen. 2015. Having the money/skill to build my own cabin on MN's north shore is a fun daydream.

How I heard of it: Library

The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap: A Memoir of Friendship, Community, and the Uncommon Pleasure of a Good Book  - Wendy Welch. 2012. Opening a used bookstore is my impractical dream too.

How I heard of it: Library

Belonging: A German Reckons With History and Home - Nora Krug.  2018. Illustrated memoirs are always awesome.

How I heard of it: Library

The Astor Orphan: A Memoir - Alexandra Aldrich. 2013.

Rokeby was one of the estates that fascinated me in Phantoms of the Hudson Valley, and the content of this one took place around the same era that book was written.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'll Be There For You: The One About Friends - Kelsey Miller. 2018. Am I going to turn down "a retrospective" about one of my favorite shows?? I am not.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Season Finale: The Unexpected Rise and Fall of the WB & UPN. 2007. Recommended after the above because I love hearing how network TV stations are built in terms of programming decisions.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of 80s and 90s Teen Fiction - Gabrielle Moss. 2018. Take how I reacted to Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature, and multiply it by "fully illustrated with brightly colored pages." These are the kind of books I’m familiar with and always down to talk/hear about, but hardly anyone else is.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

[fineillsignup]

Clouds and Rain: a (snarky) Character Index

I lured @math-is-magic​ into trying to read Clouds and Rain despite no prior knowledge of the Three Kingdoms era generally and she professed being impressed at how, long long ago when I read Romance of the Three Kingdoms for the first time, I made my own character glossary to keep track of who is who.

CAVEAT LECTOR: Historically accurate only to the degree that it pleases my pedantry. Departs from Dynasty Warriors in some key areas. Limited to characters that have (so far) appeared in the story directly.

Wu aka Sun Wu - Jiangdong - The Southlands

Colour Scheme? Red Animal Motif? Tiger Part of China? Southeast third, from the Yangtze (more or less) down, west about halfway. Heat, rivers, pirates, rice, fish. Motivation? Bonds Hearts? ON FIRE Enemy Camps? ALSO ON FIRE

Sun Quan, ruler of Wu, style name Zhongmou: Wow, who died and left this loser to rule? Well, that’s the problem, everybody died and left this loser to rule. Ever so slightly neurotic. *coughs* Kind of my problematic fave. Thinks everybody in Shu is out to get him. (Everybody in Shu IS out to get him.) Lianshi: Technically she ought to be Lady Bu but since Dynasty Warriors didn’t bother neither did I. Former lady-in-waiting to Sun Quan’s sister, nicest woman you’ll ever meet, Sun Quan is her problematic fave. Big ol’ tiddies. Lu Xun, Wu chancellor, style name Boyan: OUR HERO. 92.3% perfect gentleman and Confucian af. Gan Ning, Wu officer: Adorable kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day. Former pirate, semi-reformed psychopath. WEARS BELLS, it’s his thing. Used to be in the employ of another army, during which time he kinda sorta killed the father of... Ling Tong, Wu officer: Rich kid who made good in his own right. Wanted to kill Gan Ning for a long time (in revenge for his father’s death) but has mostly gotten over it and now they are best frenemies. (Note to history buffs: just GET OUT of here with your FACTS.) Shield of laziness and apathy. “I don’t care,” says Ling Tong, caringly, as he cares deeply. Zhou Tai, Wu officer: Sun Quan’s personal bodyguard. Former pirate. Tall, dark, and... scarred. Well, two out of three isn’t bad. The strong silent type. Zhu Ran, Wu officer: Lu Xun used to be Wu’s pyromaniac character. Then they introduced Zhu Ran to be the pyromaniac and actually made Lu Xun well-rounded, and Zhu Ran is slightly bitter about it. Also a Rich Kid. (Is Wu’s army all rich kids and pirates???? MAYBE.) Ding Feng, Wu officer: One-note character who looks like Frankenstein’s monster and writes poetry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Han Dang, Wu officer: One-note character who doesn’t want to be forgotten. Forget about him. Sun Shangxiang: Sun Quan’s younger sister, famous/infamous for being wild about martial arts and just generally wild. Arranged married to... (hold this thought...)

Shu aka Shu Han

Colour scheme? Green Animal motif? Dragon Part of China? At this point, the west-southwest. Smallest/least prosperous. Motivation? BENEVOLENCE Really? YES OF COURSE, BENEVOLENCE AND ONLY BENEVOLENCE. Pay no attention to the man behind the crane fan. What’s benevolence? 仁 Ren. Confucius says... no, come back, this isn’t a joke! Confucius really does say! Confucius says: Now the man of perfect virtue, wishing to be established himself, seeks also to establish others; wishing to be enlarged himself, he seeks also to enlarge others. What’s that guy doing over there behind the crane fan? NOTHING!!

Liu Bei, ruler of Shu: He was arranged married to Sun Shangxiang! (I hope you didn’t hurt yourself holding that thought.) Tenuously related to the imperial family but grew up poor af. Charismatic as hell. Wants to tell you the Good News about Benevolence. Liu Shan, crown prince, aka A-Dou: Unspecified, serious intellectual disability. Bears zero resemblance to the Dynasty Warriors version. Affectionate, gentle young man. Gets along really well with Zhao Yun and Sun Shangxiang. Zhuge Liang, prime minister of Shu, chief strategist, style name Kongming, Taoist name Crouching Dragon: The smuggest of snakes. He has a crane fan and he isn’t afraid to use it. Likes: his wife, his lord, his plans, sex magic, being an asshole. "I meant to do that,” he whispers, calmly, while falling at terminal velocity into a pit of vipers. Yueying aka Lady Huang, inventor: Zhuge Liang’s wife. Unspecified not neurotypical. Likes: machines, her husband. Dislikes: people, distractions, social cues. Very little resemblance to Dynasty Warriors character. Zhang Fei, Shu officer: Liu Bei’s sworn brother dating back to when they all weren’t shit, along with the dead Guan Yu. Designated youngest brothers because in Chinese culture it is Absolutely Vital We Know Who Is Older. Big, burly, loveable drunk. (Again, do NOT confuse me with the facts.) Zhang Bao, Shu officer: Zhang Fei’s son. Young and unproven and determined.  Grew up with Guan Yu’s children as pseudo-cousins. Xingcai aka Lady Zhang, Shu officer: Zhang Fei’s younger child. Xingcai is not here to make friends or play games. Xingcai is here to win. Unfortunately for Xingcai, her society dictates that ladylike behaviour means making friends and playing (diplomatic) games, not winning (on the battlefield). Guan Xing, Shu officer: The oldest natural child of Guan Yu. Honour, righteousness, honour, honour, rules, benevolence, honour, rules, and honour. Guan Suo, Shu officer: Youngest son of Guan Yu. In the wake of his father’s death, passive and disheartened. Guan Yinping: Youngest child of Guan Yu. Our heroine! Strong, sweet, determined, and genuine. Zhao Yun, Shu officer: One of Liu Bei’s first and best recruits to his cause. Famous for having single-handedly rescued Liu Shan as a baby while they were fleeing Cao Cao, fighting with the infant on his back. Madam Zhao aka Yunlu aka Lulu: Zhao Yun’s much younger wife, the sister of another officer in Shu, for some mysterious reason her identity is a (badly kept) secret, WHO could she POSSIBLY be? (People who know the answer: shhhhh.) Ma Chao, “the Splendid”: A multi-ethnic officer of Shu who joined because of wanting revenge against Cao Cao for the massacre of his clan. Yes, Ma Chao is Shu’s Sasuke. Catchphrase: JUSTICE. Ma Dai, “the guy who hangs out with Ma Chao”: Ma Chao’s cousin, trails along after Ma Chao trying to keep him from getting himself justiced to death. Wears the only non-stupid hat in Dynasty Warriors. An artist and a joker. Wei Yan, Shu officer: Speaks... like... this... why?... Unclear... maybe... head... injury...

Wei aka Cao Wei

Colour scheme? Blue Animal motif? Phoenix Part of China? The entire north, from the coast to the west, including the cities with the strongest claim to be imperial capital in that time. Motivation? Ambition and power Isn’t that slightly evil? I mean, not necessarily, but they’re the antagonists so in fact yes. So they don’t get the same revisionism deal as the other two kingdoms? Nope. Is that fair? Nope! Show me on the map where I store my fucks.

Cao Pi, ruler and self-proclaimed emperor: I genuinely have a grievance against the historical guy but he was no worse than most of the rest of the people here. But in this story, the fictional Cao Pi is a supreme douchebag. Zhenji, empress: Too good for Cao Pi and this world. Don’t mistake my meaning; also kind of a bitch. A perfect bitch whom I would die for. Sima Yi, Wei prime minister: Genius strategist. Did not even originally want to join the Ambition Kingdom, but has caught the spirit in a big way now. Zhang Chunhua: Sima Yi’s wife, pulls the strings, literally. Thinks all problems can be solved with enough murders. Don’t think I’m saying she’s a bitch and I don’t like her. She’s a bitch, and I like her so much. Zhang He, Wei officer: Could host Queer Eye for the Third Century Guy. Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee. Came to Wei from the same place as Zhenji and they are besties. Li Dian, Wei officer: Has a gut sense about things which is always right, unfortunately doesn’t stop things from happening, poor babe. A nice guy. Yue Jin, Wei officer: Smol and insecure about it, despite the fact that he could fuck you up. He can fuck anyone up. He can fuck himself up. BFF with Li Dian. Also a nice guy. Wang Yi, Wei officer: Hey remember how Cao Cao killed Ma Chao’s entire clan? Well while Ma Chao was attempting to get his revenge against Cao Cao, he whoopsy-doodle massacred Wang Yi’s entire clan. Now Wang Yi dreams of dancing with Ma Chao’s severed head in the moonlight. Xu Shu, Wei officer: Sad man who got tricked into leaving Shu because he loves his mama. Tries his best and deserved none of this. Jia Xu, Wei strategist: Loyal only to himself and shrewd, was an enemy strategist who came very near to killing Cao Cao at one time, but accepted being hired by him when he was captured. Does believe in doing his best.

And (I think) that’s everybody! Whee! I hope all three of you who read this enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.