#your honor thats my emotional support psychopath

[queercodedvillains]

I feel like deidaras actions after sasoris death only make sense if you see it through the lens of grief. He's mourning his partner, he can't do anything to bring him back, so all he can do is carry out his wishes post humously. Sasori hated orochimaru and wanted revenge but couldn't get it himself before he died, so deidara picks up his grudge in his honor. Their love language is revenge and violence and deidara in particular seems to process his emotions through his art. Temporary, ephemeral, transient, everything he argued for with sasori. Now I bet he understands a bit of sasoris desire for permanence. He always assumed he'd die first, that he'd never have someone he loved taken from him. Sasoris art stems from his issues with abandonment, especially in death. Deidara, when faced with the emotional consequences of impermanence, seems to wrap it around himself as a comfort. I think it's clear he doesn't intend to live long after sasori dies, because of his deeply self destructive pursuit of explosive catharsis.

Because the thing is, sasuke kills orochimaru and deidaras grudge doesn't die because his goal is achieved by someone else, it just transfers to sasuke because he's deidaras new target for grief processing murder. He has no other way to get these feelings out because he's a deeply traumatized 19 year old grieving someone he clearly respected deeply (and imo loved, no one can convince me they werent in love sorry not sorry but thats his man canonically), deidara doesn't exactly have the greatest emotional intelligence here. He pursues sasuke to a suicidal extent because that's about all he has left in terms of purpose. He wants to be temporary, and he has so little holding him to this world after sasori dies. He's beholden to the akatsuki out of fear, not belief in their cause. The only upside of his time with them is his relationship with sasori. He found comfort and companionship with him. For all their differences and bickering, they were both obsessed with art and death. Without sasori there to temper his impulsivity, or provide him stimulating company, what does he have to live for? Constant irritation with tobi?? Deidara likes being a brat, he misses sasoris casual dominance over him. He doesn't want tobi running after him calling him senpai and irritating him because HES the one who should be calling sasori Danna and irritating him just to spark a bit of spice.

So without sasori, deidara has nothing to live for but his art. And what better way to go than an explosion that everyone within a 10 mile radius sees? He went out the way he wanted to, when he wanted to. He wanted the glory of taking out sasuke and the relief of oblivion now that he had nothing to live for, not even revenge.

[queercodedvillains]

I'm wailing moping crying screaming chewing through plywood gnawing on hambones sasoris death is so fucking painful like you're really telling me. His OWN grandmother pulled out the puppets HE MADE in the likeness of his DEAD PARENTS and straight fuckin stabbed him through the heart in the same position he would puppet them into hugging him?? What the FUCK kishimoto why would you do that to my man sasori