im still rolling on the floor about willes "no you're right is not that bad. except i lost the love of my life and got the school closed and probably killed my mom. but yeah Felice it's not THAT bad" speech. he's such a fucking drama queen.
actually the Erik plotline is so sick and twisted like- imagine finding out that the person you've been putting on a pedestal all your life, who felt like your only friend at times in your life and whose approval and guidance you seek even after their death, might have been fundamentally against you and actively supported the mocking, humiliation and hurting of you and anybody like you. And they cannot change or explain themselves to you or make it up or do anything to make it better or make you understand. And you cannot even be mad at them because they're not around anymore and you miss them too much to be angry.
Once again sitting here thinking about how, for all the remorse August felt about the video, for how shitty of a person he felt like he was for posting it, for all his efforts (however subpar they were) to try and apologize to Wille about it...Simon never got a fucking apology.
Which makes sense, and shows how, at August's core, he's still an elitist, superior prick, even if he's more cognizant of his flaws and more uncomfortable with them than he's ever been. He could not be bothered to apologize Simon, doesn't even have the thought cross his mind—why? Because Simon's a nobody. Simon has no power. Like, let's be clear, August has fucked up his life irreparably. There is literally no future where the video will not haunt Simon. (I read a great fanfiction I have to find the link for, where Simon says that he was fucked the minute August hit "post," no matter what Wille said or did, and like...yeah.) That shit was all over the news in Sweden. We see, already, people recognizing him out in public. Beyond even just the emotional turmoil that comes with that video existing, we see, through the posting of his address and the rock through the window, that its existence physically endangers Simon. Even if Simon were to leave the country, move somewhere new and try to start over, it would take one google search of his name to uncover that blight on his life.
That's not to say that Simon couldn't process its existence emotionally, or that he won't be able to lead a happy, fulfilling life with the video existing, because he absolutely can and will! It just incenses me that not once in August's journey of feeling this guilt and shame over the video, and reaching some sort of understanding and peace with Wille, does he once consider giving Simon any sort of apology. (The settlement doesn't count, of course.) It makes sense for his character, and Simon probably wouldn't have accepted the apology, and by no means should be expected to, but the fact that he didn't get one still makes me so angry.
also that second to last scene with wilhelm finally yelling at kristina and ludvig was everything to me.... they have not been his parents a second in their entire lives they've been absent they've been neglectful they have forced him to hide his emotions and bottle it all up for 16 years they have not let him properly mourn his brother (the brother he's been looking up to the one person in his family he trusted the brother that as it turns out has been an awful person but that's a whole other conversation) they have forced him to make that damn statement and lie to the whole nation as well as deny him of the one relationship he cherished... they have ignored and dismissed his mental health for years despite knowing about his anxiety and panic attacks (meanwhile the queen gets to have a time off duty to deal with her breakdown??? which results in wille having more responsibilites?? responsibilities he didn't want to begin with???)... they have belittled him at every opportunity while bringing up their perfect firstborn son... i am so sick of them... i was genuinely thrilled seeing wille screaming at them and finally acknowledging all of the shitty ways they treated him... it was the most satisfying scene for me (also edvin's brilliant acting >>> like my jaw was on the floor)