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queenofzan · 9 days

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Once again, I have gotten several thousand words deep into a story and had a line where one of the two speculated about what would have happened if they met earlier, and then...become obsessed with writing that idea down too. WHOOPS. I just think...what if trans characters realized they were trans sooner. And how would that change things. Especially on Kavagor.

So here's Maria drawing too much attention to herself and accidentally getting fucked into a gender realization.

My main Yuri/Maria file is 25k; this is only 11k of the 16k i have written of the AU where they meet in their 20s instead of their 50s/60s

(warnings for uhh let's go with eroticized violence, under-negotiated kink, dubious consent, and misgendering. and homophobia i guess.)

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Kasharik was late getting to the bar. When he arrived, he had his arm around the shoulder of a stringy young man who looked very uncomfortable. The stringy young man also had bruised knuckles and a split lip, although the rest of his face looked fine. He was not nearly as good-looking as the men Kasharik typically had on his arm or at his side, which meant there was some other reason Kasharik brought him.

"Sir," Yuri said when Kasharik got to their table. "Who's this?"

"Ivanov here," Kasharik said, pushing Ivanov into the booth ahead of him where he'd be trapped up against the wall, "just won the mixed-weight UAC tournament very handily."

That did make the plain, stringy man more interesting. "Did he," Yuri said, giving him another, more careful look. He had dark hair, deeply-set eyes, and a dimpled chin. Yuri supposed his stringiness might translate to lean muscle. He was probably faster than Yuri.

"Yeah," Ivanov said, proud even through his sullen discomfort.

"Get us some drinks, would you?" Kasharik said to Yuri, pulling out his wallet and passing Yuri a large bill.

"What'll you have?" Yuri asked Ivanov.

Ivanov frowned. "Beer," he said.

Kasharik rolled his eyes. "Not specific enough, darling."

Ivanov looked at Yuri's glass, which had sweated a ring onto the table in the time it took Kasharik to show up. He looked back up at Yuri, then said, "Whatever you're having."

Well, it was no surprise Ivanov could tell Yuri wasn't a commissioned officer even out of uniform. Yuri grunted acknowledgement, and got up to go to the bar.

As he returned to the table carrying drinks, Ivanov was protesting to Kasharik, "I'm not gay, though."

"Neither's Arevin, last time I checked," Kasharik said mildly. Yuri set his glass down in front of him, and Kasharik gave him the barest nod of acknowledgement.

Yuri wasn't gay, but he wasn't sure it was fair to say he was straight, either. Bisexual, maybe, like Kasharik's ex always said. At least, he was happy enough to fuck men, since it meant at least he was fucking someone. He wasn't sure if he would have sought it out, but mostly because he wasn't great at normal social interactions; figuring out if a guy was interested was a complicated endeavor in most environments. How he felt about it seemed like a distant second in importance.

"Oh, come on," Ivanov scoffed. "You know I don't mean fucking 'homosexual', I mean queer. I'm not interested in men at all."

"Really," Kasharik said, uninterestedly. He was being a dick. Despite finding it obnoxious, Yuri often enjoyed when Kasharik was dickish, because it meant he was going to have a fun night.

"Here," Yuri said, sliding Ivanov's beer across the table as he sat down. "You being offensive to Lord Kasharik now?"

"No," Ivanov said, although he glanced at Kasharik nervously. "I don't mean there's something wrong with it or nothing," he said. "Folks should be as gay or queer or whatever as they want. I'm just not."

"Shame," Yuri said, taking a sip of his beer. Kasharik smiled. He was handsome, and he had a nice smile. He liked it when Yuri picked up on what Kasharik wanted him to do without him having to spell it out. That was difficult with most people, but not Kasharik.

"Why's that?" Ivanov asked, wary and suspicious.

"Most folks can't handle me in a fight," Yuri said. "And I've kind of wanted to go right from a fight to a fuck since milord first brought it up."

Ivanov stared at him for a moment, then scoffed again. "I could take you," he said. He turned a little pink as he sipped his beer, though.

"That is why you caught my eye," Kasharik said. He shrugged and picked up his glass. "But if you're not interested in men, I suppose it might be awkward, with the sergeant so…responsive to violence."

Yuri wished he wouldn't say it that way. That sounded like he couldn't keep a handle of himself. No one had ever realized before Kasharik how horny fighting made him, which Yuri thought made it pretty clear he wasn't at the mercy of his baser instincts.

"Hell, I wouldn't hold it against him," Ivanov said. He was still a little flushed. Interesting that he hadn't been embarrassed denying he was interested in men, which lots of closet cases were, but now that the link between sex and violence had been brought up, he was affected. Promising, perhaps? He went on, "Plenty of guys get worked up rolling around on the ground. Not my business if he jerks off after I beat his ass."

Kasharik laughed. "You don't know when to stop, do you, Ivanov?" he asked.

Ivanov shrugged. "I beat the best of the best today," he said. "I feel pretty good about my chances."

"Do you?" Kasharik asked. If Ivanov knew Kasharik the way Yuri knew Kasharik, he would have been on alert for bullshit, but he didn't. "Good enough to make a little wager?"

"Hell yeah," Ivanov said. "I could use some extra cash."

"Hmm," Kasharik said. "I wasn't thinking about money."

"Well I was," Ivanov retorted. "I got bills to pay. My lord," he added as an afterthought.

Yuri felt himself smile into his glass. Ivanov did have guts, at least.

Kasharik laughed again. "I'm sure you do," he said. "Fine, we can have it both ways, can't we? If you can beat Arevin in a fight--let's say tourney rules--I'll give you five hundred marks. And if Arevin wins, he gets to fuck you."

Ivanov glanced at Yuri again. He looked alarmed, but possibly also intrigued, now. Yuri had to admit he would enjoy fucking him. Ivanov studied Yuri for a moment, then turned back to Kasharik and said, "Well, why not? I could use the money."

"You're not at all worried about what will happen if you lose?" Kasharik asked. "I wouldn't want you to feel taken advantage of or ill-used." He was so full of shit; he didn't care one whit if Ivanov felt used or taken advantage of. He just didn't want to deal with complaints or backing out later.

Ivanov shrugged. "Long as you know I ain't gonna enjoy it and that don't bother either of you, I'll risk it," he said. "Not like it costs me nothing."

"Really?" Kasharik asked, surprising Yuri a bit. He didn't usually go this far to make sure people were comfortable. "Most straight men are a little more concerned about the possibility of getting fucked in the ass."

Ivanov paused with his glass halfway to his lips. "Ah," he said.

"What did you think I meant?" Kasharik asked, smirking.

"Uh," Ivanov said, turning pink again. "Usually when people assume I'm gay, it's--kind of implied I'd be the one on top." He looked back at Yuri. "But I guess you're not exactly the pretty little sissy type."

Kasharik laughed again, quite loud this time. "No," he said. "Not exactly."

Yuri had taken it up the ass before, actually, but he wasn't really thinking about ending a fight riding someone else's dick. And he'd never told Kasharik about that. Not that he'd asked, either; Kasharik was more interested in using Yuri for other purposes.

Yuri didn't say anything. Kasharik would talk Ivanov into it or he wouldn't. It wasn't Yuri's role to be persuasive, just obedient.

Ivanov looked from Yuri to Kasharik and back again. Kasharik took a sip of his drink. Eventually, Ivanov said, "Don't see that that changes anything, really. 'Specially since I'm gonna win."

"Confident, aren't we?" Kasharik murmured.

"He can't be better than everyone else in the fucking service," Ivanov said with a shrug. Logical, if not accurate. He grinned at Kasharik. "But I'll appreciate that five hundred, my lord."

Yuri did not expect he would lose, but to be frank, he wouldn't mind it. Kasharik wouldn't be pleased, but he wouldn't be too shitty about it. He might knock Yuri around some after, but considering he found it amusing that Yuri got off on shit like that, it would be fine. Yuri was just looking forward to a real fight, which he hadn't really had since he got transferred out of Petrov's command. Maybe if he got sent off-world, like there were rumors about.

Kasharik took them back to his apartment, then had Yuri and Ivanov push all the furniture in the living room aside to clear space. Ivanov had kept pace with Yuri, and nursed just two drinks through Kasharik's four. He didn't seem drunk, and he didn't seem worried. He wasn't good-looking, necessarily, but he moved with enough surety that he was attractive.

"Oh, and roll up the rug as well," Kasharik said. "I'll go grab lube."

"You better grab five hundred dollars, too," Ivanov called after him, even as he helped Yuri roll up the rug. As they worked, Ivanov asked Yuri, "You always get your kicks doing your knob boyfriend's bidding?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Yuri said.

"What, you fuck people for a guy who's not your boyfriend?" Ivanov asked. "You know that's weirder, right?"

Yuri shrugged. It was weird, but not as weird as the idea of being a nobleman's boyfriend.

Kasharik came back, a bottle of lube in hand, and sat down on one of the armchairs pushed back against the wall. "Whenever you're ready," he said, waving a hand.

Ivanov stretched each arm behind his head in turn, cracking his shoulders. Yuri stripped off his shirt, leaving him in just his undershirt. He did a similar quick stretch to Ivanov, then shook out his arms. "Ready," he said.

Ivanov was good. He dodged Yuri's blows like it was trivial, and managed to trip him once. He got a painful hit on Yuri's jaw. Yuri had to back off and strategize for a second, which was difficult when Ivanov pressed his advantage. But as much as Yuri believed Ivanov wanted that five hundred dollars, Yuri really wanted to rip Ivanov's clothes off and have his way with him. Blood, Yuri wanted to smash his face into the floor and fuck him until he cried. He wanted that so, so much.

Ivanov was fast, and he was good, but he was also coming off a tournament and smaller than Yuri. Once Yuri got him on the ground, it was over, it would just take a while to wear him down.

Or more than a little while. "Fuck's sake, man," Ivanov grunted after a few minutes, attempting to keep Yuri's hold from taking. Yuri was having a little trouble keeping himself from rubbing his dick against Ivanov. "You ain't won yet."

From the side of the room, Kasharik said, "I thought plenty of guys got worked up rolling around on the ground."

Ivanov only grunted instead of trying to respond. He needed all his attention on Yuri.

He was good at escaping holds, but he could never keep Yuri off him for long, even with Yuri distracted by how turned on he was. The more he flopped around, struggling, the more obvious it became that he was aroused as well. Yuri reached down with one hand to cup his dick, and Ivanov groaned.

"That ain't tourney-legal," Ivanov protested.

"You can keep struggling," Yuri told him.

Ivanov groaned again. He did keep struggling, but not quite as hard as he had been, especially when Yuri rubbed his dick. After several more minutes, he gasped, "Fine, fuck, mercy, you win! I concede!"

"Obviously," Kasharik murmured.

Yuri unbuttoned Ivanov's trousers blindly, then yanked them down. "Keep struggling," he breathed against Ivanov's ear.

Ivanov shivered. "You're a fucking freak, you know that? Blood." But he did keep struggling, even when Yuri took his dick in hand and stroked it. He even bit Yuri's hand when it got too close to his mouth. Yuri wasn't sure he had ever been this hard in his life.

Kasharik rolled over the bottle of lube. Yuri snatched it up and immediately dumped some down Ivanov's ass crack.

"Ow, fuck," Ivanov said, squirming.

"If you think his fingers are too much, you are not going to enjoy his cock," Kasharik said, sounding smug.

"I fucking said I wouldn't," Ivanov said, like he wasn't just as hard as Yuri. He immediately belied himself by moaning and arching his back when Yuri thrust his fingers back into him.

"Maybe you weren't into guys because you always figured you'd be the top," Yuri said. "You seem to like being my bitch just fine."

Ivanov made a startled sound that was practically a sob, as his cock jumped in Yuri's hand.

"Ohh," Kasharik said. He sounded as if he was smiling. "Maybe that's what it is! Maybe people keep clocking you as queer because they can tell you'd be better off as a woman."

Ivanov gasped. "That's not--that ain't true."

"No?" Kasharik asked. "You sure seem just as happy pinned beneath Arevin as you did winning the tournament."

"No way," Ivanov said, then moaned again as Yuri's fingers pushed deeper. "Bones, please--fuck!"

"Might be nice to have a woman of my own," Yuri murmured into Ivanov's ear. Ivanov shuddered again, clenching around Yuri's fingers. "You like that idea?"

"I don't know," Ivanov moaned.

"I'm not sure how pretty you'd be, as a girl," Kasharik mused. "But then, that's not really what matters to Arevin, is it, sergeant?"

"Any girl's pretty when she's taking your cock," Yuri said, and Ivanov shuddered again. He pulled his fingers out of Ivanov's ass and reached for the bottle of lube again. He had to sit up some to slick up his dick. He kept one hand on Ivanov's back, only nominally holding him down, but Ivanov didn't try to get up. He just laid there, breathing hard, his erection dangling between his legs.

"Tap-dancing zombie Emperor Sergei!" Ivanov yelped when Yuri started pushing his dick into him. He tried half-heartedly to crawl away. Yuri yanked him back by the hips, driving his cock even deeper. This time, Ivanov's yelp was wordless. A moment later, he moaned, "Blood and bone, are you packing a fucking wine bottle down there?"

Kasharik laughed. "Not quite," he said. "Though he is rather well-endowed."

"If I'd known I was gonna be taking a horse cock if I lost, I never would have agreed," Ivanov said. Yuri reached around to play with his dick, and found it had not flagged at all. That was interesting, considering Yuri had certainly not prepared him adequately. Was he a masochist, or did he really like the idea of being a woman so much?

"You don't seem to mind," Yuri murmured, giving him a slow stroke.

"Fuck you," Ivanov gasped.

The noises Ivanov made as Yuri fucked him were about half pained and half aroused. He swore after almost every time he moaned at something. He was rather cute, actually, which was not something Yuri usually thought about the men Kasharik had him fuck. Kasharik liked simpering kiss-asses and humiliated stoic straight men. They were fun, but not cute. Ivanov's vulgar expressions of alternating frustration and pleasure was.

Yuri pushed his face down into the floor and snapped his hips forward. Ivanov whimpered. Yuri snapped his hips again, and Ivanov gasped, "Oh, fuck!"

"You do like this, don't you," Yuri said. "I could make you my woman. I'd let you have my cock whenever you wanted it." He bit his lip, to have something to ground him. "Get you some dresses so I can just flip your skirt up and stick it in."

Ivanov whined and clawed at the floor. He was not making a real attempt to get away.

"I've never had a girl of my own before," Yuri said. "I'd treat you nice."

Ivanov laughed. "You think this is nice?"

"Your dick seems to think so," Kasharik said. "But I'm sure Arevin would be willing to treat you rough, if that's more your speed."

"Only in bed," Yuri said, and Ivanov shivered. "Mmhmm, that's right. Can treat you like a lady most of the time, even though we both know you're really a slut." He punctuated that with a smack to Ivanov's ass.

"Fuck," Ivanov moaned. "Fuuuck."

Yuri finally heard the clink of Kasharik's belt buckle. He was surprised it had taken so long, but perhaps he was trying to savor the experience. Surely even he would have trouble finding another fighter at Yuri's skill level who would agree to go right from a match to sex. Even though he wasn't usually a fan of a fair fight, he did like watching Yuri work someone over, and that lasted longer when they could fight back.

Yuri bent over, pressing himself against Ivanov's back. He wrapped one hand around the front of Ivanov's neck, fingers slipping between his collar and his skin, and kept it there. He could feel Ivanov's thundering pulse under his thumb, even through the harsh panting of his breath. Into Ivanov's ear, he murmured, "Not often milord's got a personal sex show with a woman involved."

Ivanov shivered again. "Please," he said. "Please."

"Please what?" Yuri asked, grinding his hips into Ivanov's ass.

"I don't know," Ivanov moaned.

"I think you do," Kasharik said.

Ivanov moaned again. "Say it again," he said.

Yuri grunted. "Slut," he said on his next thrust. "Slutty little girl," he said as he pulled back. Ivanov moaned. "Made for taking cock," Yuri went on. He thrusted back in, making Ivanov gasp. "For real men to use." Ivanov whined, practically keening. "You put up a good fight," Yuri said into his ear, "but you wanted this."

"No," Ivanov said. "No, I didn't know, I didn't think--I didn't know!" He practically sobbed, "Blood!"

It didn't take much more to finish them both off. Yuri growled into Ivanov's ear when he was close to coming, "Take it like a good girl," which made Ivanov spasm, which in turn pushed Yuri over the edge.

Ivanov didn't say anything more coherent or complicated than, "Oh oh oh oh!" Yuri barely had to tug on his dick before he was coming all over Yuri's hand and the floor.

Yuri pulled out and collapsed onto the floor next to Ivanov, breathing heavily. He glanced at Kasharik, to make sure he didn't expect anything else from Yuri, but Kasharik didn't even have his eyes open, jerking himself furiously, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Ivanov rolled onto his back, away from Yuri. The tip of his dick still glistened with liquid, like some of his come had gotten held up somewhere and missed the main event. His shirt was soaked with sweat under his arms and down his chest, making it stick to him, following the contours of his body. He looked perfectly masculine, in a rather appealing way if Yuri was honest, but it wasn't hard to imagine him with small breasts laid over his pectorals. That was appealing, too.

Kasharik made the little grunt he usually made when he was coming, which meant he'd continue talking in a moment. Yuri pulled his trousers up and started tucking everything back into place.

"Well," Ivanov said, staring at the ceiling. "I mean, I coulda used the five hundred bucks, but I guess startling personal revelations are good too."

"Did you really not know?" Kasharik asked, pulling out his handkerchief to wipe clean his dick and hands. "I was honestly shocked you seemed so sincere about not being interested in men. It looked like a classic case of over-compensation to me."

"Oh, thanks," Ivanov muttered.

"Admittedly," Kasharik went on, folding over his handkerchief, "I don't often run into transsexuals who don't know."

"Great," Ivanov said. "Not only am I a freak, I'm a stupid freak."

"It's not stupidity so much as ignorance," Kasharik said. "I suppose plenty of people on our backwards little planet are unaware there are options that might suit them better."

"I'm pretty sure 'girl' is an option I've been aware of," Ivanov said. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Fuck."

"Happy to help," Kasharik said, sounding amused. As he stood up, stretching his arms over his head, he said, "Arevin, will you see our guest safely home? And put my living room back in some kind of order."

"Yes, sir," Yuri said, and Kasharik went into his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Ivanov was less helpful restoring the living room to its prior function than he had been clearing it for a fight. He was slow getting dressed, and moved carefully. Well, Yuri hadn't gone easy on him, and it didn't seem like he had experience bottoming. Plus, he had gone through a tournament's final rounds before Yuri even met him that evening. Rolling out Kasharik's rug and pulling furniture back into its approximate former location alone wasn't so strenuous that Yuri missed the help.

"Bathroom's the first door on the right, if you want to clean up before we leave," Yuri told Ivanov, as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea," Ivanov said. "Don't really want to worry about whether I'm feeling jizz or blood in my drawers."

Yuri frowned. "There shouldn't be active bleeding," he said.

"No shit," Ivanov said, rolling his eyes, "but I can damn well feel there's gonna be some blood, and it'll be easier to tell if it's fresh or not if I clean up." As he stood up, he blushed a little, and added, "Don't take it as a complaint."

Yuri hadn't been in much doubt as to whether or not Ivanov enjoyed himself, but it was nice to hear he wasn't reconsidering it now. "Noted," he said.

While Ivanov was in the bathroom, Yuri took Kasharik's discarded handkerchief to the kitchen sink to rinse it out. He hadn't explicitly asked for that, but Yuri figured it fell under the remit of putting the living room back in order. Kasharik didn't always seem to remember he didn't have servants, living in his city apartment instead of Kasharik House. There was a cleaning service, but Yuri felt like it might be weird to have them clean up after sex stuff like this. Sometimes when Kasharik had a boyfriend, he explicitly had them do it, but without one, it fell to Yuri.

Ivanov came back from the bathroom as Yuri was wringing the excess water out of Kasharik's handkerchief. Yuri draped it over the edge of the sink to dry, then turned out all the lights before they left.

Ivanov told Yuri which dormitory he was in, but was otherwise quiet on the walk to the tram. It wasn't until they got on the tram, empty except for them, and sat down near the door that Ivanov asked Yuri, "So was all that just dirty talk, or did you mean any of it?"

"Which part?" Yuri asked.

"Shit, I don't know," Ivanov said. After a moment, he said, "I sure hope you didn't mean the part where you said all I was good for was taking cock."

"I don't think that's true of anyone," Yuri said. His mama and the other women who raised him would have smacked him if he believed otherwise. "Even whores got hobbies."

Ivanov laughed. "Yeah, good," he said. He glanced at Yuri sidelong. "How about some of the other things, though? Like, would you…really still like a woman with a dick?"

Yuri shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"And you'd just…believe her, even if she didn't have the surgeries and everything yet?"

Even Yuri could tell Ivanov was fishing. Again, he found it more cute than annoying. "That's how galactics do it," Yuri said. "And I mean, I don't know how she feels. If someone says they're a woman, I don't see why I shouldn't believe her."

Ivanov did not have any immediate response to that. Yuri wasn't terribly surprised; he probably needed time to reconsider things. They actually made it to their stop and off the tram before Ivanov asked, "You've never had a girlfriend?"

Yuri snorted. "Most of the times I've gotten laid were because Kasharik thought it would be funny," he said. That was a simplification, but he was sure that was how it started. "No one's ever wanted to date me, female or otherwise."

"Guess that explains it," Ivanov said.

"Explains what?" Yuri asked.

Ivanov looked over at him and said, "That whole time wrecking my ass and rearranging my world, and you never kissed me once."

Yuri blinked. No one had ever suggested he kiss them, or made any move to kiss him. He said, "I've never done that before."

"Well I've never fucked someone without kissing them before," Ivanov said, stepping in front of Yuri, cutting him off and making him stop. "And of the two of us, I think I've had enough novel experiences for one night. Fucking kiss me."

Bemused, Yuri set his hands on Ivanov's shoulders, leaned in, and kissed him. Ivanov made a noise against Yuri's lips, then brought his hands up to Yuri's waist. When Yuri pulled away, Ivanov opened his eyes and looked at him for a moment. He had short but thick eyelashes. After a moment, Ivanov said, "Fuck." He turned around, and brought his fists down on his thighs as he shouted, "Fuck!"

"Sorry," Yuri muttered. He wasn't that bad at kissing, was he? What was there to screw up?

Ivanov turned back to him. "It's not you," he said. "You're actually--blood, kind of sexy, really." Literally no one had ever said that about Yuri before. Ivanov did look embarrassed to have said it. He went on, "That's the fucking problem, though, isn't it? I thought my whole life--blood and bone. I mean, how did I miss this?"

Oh, he was still upset about the whole…gender and sexuality thing. Of course, that made sense. Yuri said, "I did kind of think people always knew, since they were kids."

"Right," Ivanov said, nodding fervently. "Right, so did I, and I was never, like, longing to wear dresses or anything. I guess I wasn't mad about it when the neighbor girls made me play dress-up with them? Would a real boy have been upset about that? I don't know." He shook his head.

Yuri couldn't remember feeling one way or the other about dresses as a child. But then, he hadn't had a very ordinary childhood. "You seem very sure about it, considering," Yuri said.

Ivanov shrugged. "I don't think I've ever wanted anything as much as I wanted it when you said I could be your woman," he said, only looking a little embarrassed. "This whole fucking--alternate life fucking appeared in my head, fully-formed, like if I could have dinner waiting on the table when you got home, you'd nail me afterwards, and then we could shower together and watch a vid on the couch, and fucking--like, I never thought about that with any of my girlfriends, ever, but you put your twice-damned fingers in my asshole and I was ready to marry you. I mean, what the hell is that?"

Yuri shrugged. "Endorphin rush from the fighting?" he suggested.

Ivanov snorted. "You think I never lost a fight before? Sure, alright, I wasn't that surprised to get kind of horny about it, but the fucking home-maker fantasy sure as hell ain't something I experienced before." He put one of his hands in Yuri's. "Kiss me again?"

Yuri saw no reason not to, so he kissed him again. This kiss went on longer, until Ivanov's arms were wrapped around Yuri's shoulders and Yuri was clutching him around the waist. He wasn't entirely clear on how that happened, except it was very pleasant. Eventually Ivanov pulled back, resting his forehead against Yuri's. "Fuuuck," he groaned. "I think I musta had it backwards. I think I was into guys like you and wanted to be like the girls I dated. Blood and bone." He shook his head.

"Can we do this again?" Yuri asked, before he could think better of it.

"What, make out in the street?" Ivanov asked. "Hell yeah."

"No," Yuri said. "I mean, yes, that too. But, uh. The rest of it. Drinks and sex and talking."

Ivanov smiled. "Are you asking me out?" he asked.

"Yes," Yuri said, relieved. Right, this was a thing people did, he had a framework to draw upon. "Yes, exactly," he said. "Would you go on a date with me?"

Ivanov laughed. "You've got a terrible grasp of romance," he said, though he was still grinning, and rubbed his nose against Yuri's as he said it. "Yeah, why not. Leave your knob boyfriend out of it, though."

Yuri's stomach twisted unpleasantly. That wasn't entirely up to him. Kasharik was generous, but demanding. "Sure," he said, sounding much more confident than he felt.

"Great," Ivanov said, and leaned in to kiss him again.

Later that week, Kasharik said something about his plans for the evening. As he usually did, he said 'we' when he talked about it, including Yuri automatically.

"Uh, sorry, my lord," Yuri said. "I've got plans."

Kasharik turned to him and raised one aristocratic eyebrow. "You've got plans?" he asked, disbelief dripping from every word.

"Yes, sir," Yuri said.

Kasharik stared at him for a moment. "Fine," he said. "You've got plans. I suppose I can keep myself entertained."

Yuri had a bad feeling about how easily that went.

Yuri met Ivanov at the other exit from HQ, which most of the enlisted men used. They were going to get dinner, then go back to Yuri's quarters. Yuri had been willing to leave that part implied, but Ivanov told him when they made the date that he had three roommates so it should probably be Yuri's place afterwards. Then Ivanov added that he wasn't sure he'd be physically fit for more penetration just yet, but he'd be happy to explore the other available options.

On the walk to the restaurant--chosen for being unlikely to harbor either Kasharik or any of Ivanov's immediate squadmates--Ivanov said, "You realize I can't just--tell everyone. I wouldn't have a bloody job if I did."

Yuri nodded. The Imperial Service just about tolerated homosexuality, as long as you didn't draw too much attention to it at the wrong time, but women weren't allowed in anything but the Aux Corps. Any of Ivanov's superiors finding out he was transsexual would either mean dishonorable discharge or a retroactive stripping of rank. He'd lose his job and all his benefits, and probably be outed to every government branch there was.

After a few moments of apparent waiting, Ivanov said, "So this is going to make you look gay."

Oh, Yuri thought. He wanted to know what Yuri thought about that, if it would bother him. "It's not exactly secret how much time I spend with Kasharik," he said.

"Right," Ivanov said. "I suppose it ain't new for you, then."

Ivanov had been very concerned the other night about making sure Kasharik understood he wasn't queer. Yuri asked, "Is that a problem for you?"

Ivanov shrugged. "Don't think so," he said. "I mean, ain't no one gonna beat me up over it." He glanced at Yuri sidelong, smirking. "'Cept maybe you," he said. "And I know it ain't like that. I mean, it might be a little annoying, but I'd rather not dance around it, you know? I got no practice being discreet anyway."

"Good," Yuri said, then grabbed his hand.

"You fucking sap," Ivanov muttered, even as he squeezed Yuri's hand with his.

Feeling extremely self-conscious, Yuri made himself say, "I've never…dated. Anyone. It's nice."

"Bones, that's right," Ivanov muttered. He stopped, pulled Yuri to a stop, then yanked Yuri in so he could wrap his arms around Yuri's waist. They were on a public street, and it was broad daylight, not after midnight. Even with Ivanov saying he'd rather not attempt to hide it, Yuri was surprised to find him being so forward. "You be as sappy and romantic as you want, then," Ivanov said quietly, before leaning in to kiss him.

Oh, Yuri liked kissing even when he wasn't buoyed by the afterglow of the most satisfying sex he'd ever had. He really liked it.

Ivanov finally pulled back, but not entirely, just from the kiss. Quietly, he said, "I've only ever done this the other way around. So you gotta forgive me if I don't do it right." He smiled. "I guess we gotta forgive each other if we don't do it right."

"Yes," Yuri said. He leaned in to press another kiss to Ivanov's lips. "I'd like that."

"Shit," Ivanov said, smiling wider, "you got no right being so cute with such an un-cute face."

"You can say ugly," Yuri said, rolling his eyes. "I know what I look like."

"And I know what you look like naked," Ivanov said, which was not strictly true, "which brings up your score a bit." He leaned in to give Yuri another quick kiss.

Yuri had never considered the idea of a man's body improving his average attractiveness, although obviously he was familiar with the idea from the brothel. Girls no better than plain could command as much as the most beautiful if they had good enough tits and asses. Yuri was pretty fit, even by military standards. Thinking about it, he supposed it made sense. To Ivanov, who still had his arms wrapped around Yuri's waist, he said, "You adapted to finding men attractive fast."

Ivanov shrugged. "Maybe you just did too good a job fucking me to ignore," he said.

"I'm sorry to say it was mostly incidental," Yuri said.

Ivanov grinned. "Guess you'll have to do it more on purpose next time."

Ivanov took the lead when they got back to Yuri's place, which was a little weird. Not a terribly feminine trait, but maybe that was on Yuri for thinking someone's whole personality would change with their gender. Yuri was used to taking orders, though, and it was certainly more fun when those directions were conveyed by Ivanov pressing against him, whispering in his ear, or grabbing the part of Yuri he wanted doing something.

Which was how Yuri found himself experiencing well after his first sexual experience his first "make-out session". It wasn't quite as stimulating as beating the hell out of each other, but he supposed it was safer. And he did enjoy kissing Ivanov, getting to touch him as much as he wanted, and feeling Ivanov get hard against him without complaining about it.

After a while, he did feel like he'd go insane if he didn't get to get off, though. Yuri finally said, "Please, can we just…."

Ivanov laughed, and unzipped Yuri's trousers. "That's a lot more polite than last time," he said, pulling Yuri's briefs down and out of the way.

"It seemed like you wanted to go slower," Yuri said. "Which is fine." His breath caught as Ivanov's hand wrapped around his cock.

"But you don't wanna blow your load in your pants, I get it," Ivanov said. He glanced down at Yuri's cock. "That's less weird than I thought it'd be," he said. "Sergei's bones, you put this monster in my asshole? No wonder it still fucking hurts."

"I can go slower next time," Yuri said. Then he realized that was maybe presuming too much. "Uh, if you want."

Ivanov laughed, then leaned in and kissed him. "Yeah," he said when he pulled back, "I think I'll want you to be a little more careful next time." He gave Yuri's cock a slow, light stroke, teasing. "That's something you can get used to, right? So it's easier? Not that I didn't like the fight-to-fuck thing, but it'd be nice if it didn't totally wreck my ass for days."

"Yeah," Yuri said. "You can kind of make yourself relax if you concentrate, but it's easier with practice. Is this how you jerk yourself off?"

"No, but that ain't how I'd want sex to be," Ivanov said, grinning at him. "You fucked me out of a closet I didn't even know was in the bloody house last time," he said, "I'd like to at least drive you a little crazy."

"You are," Yuri said, and Ivanov laughed. He stopped teasing Yuri's cock long enough to spit in his palm, then leaned in to kiss Yuri some more while he jerked him off. Yuri felt light-headed from getting kissed and a hand-job at the same time.

Growing up in a brothel had affected Yuri in a lot of ways, probably, but one of the ones he'd noticed as soon as he started sharing rooms with other guys was that no one else seemed to have lube. Someone in the barracks at his first training camp had suggested merely having lube instead of lotion or oil was a sign someone was gay. Yuri had been baffled by that, and apparently was convincing enough that the homophobe in question had backed off. Yuri didn't think he'd have to explain to a bunch of horny seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds that actual purpose-designed lubricant felt and worked better than whatever lotion or oil they stole from their family medicine chest. He wasn't even bothering then with the fancy off-world shit, just the lube the brothel bought in bulk that was made from seaweed or something; one of the only native Kavagoran agricultural products that wasn't derived from introduced Earth species.

So when Yuri told Ivanov to hang on for a second, and rolled over to get his lube out of the bedside table drawer, he wasn't surprised to hear Ivanov chuckle.

"You're too good for regular lotion, huh?" Ivanov asked. "Or does Kasharik bring folks 'round your place?"

"Real lube is better and cheaper than lotion," Yuri said, just as he'd gotten used to saying in every barracks he'd slept in. "Kasharik's never been past the front door. Get out your dick."

"Yes, sir," Ivanov said, wriggling out of his trousers and underwear entirely. Yuri paused to do the same, shoving his trousers down until he could shake them off his legs. He rolled over and straddled Ivanov, pressing their dicks right up against each other. Yuri had never done this on purpose, as an end to itself, but he figured it felt good enough to give it a shot.

He doused his hand in lube, then wrapped it around as much of both of their cocks as he could manage. Ivanov jerked up against him.

"Oh, yeah, all right," Ivanov breathed, "that does feel better."

"Lasts longer, too," Yuri said, barely resisting the urge to just start rutting up against him. He used his other hand to spread the lube more evenly around the other side, before Ivanov's hand joined his.

"I know you called yourself ugly earlier," Ivanov said, looking up at him, "but you oughta know you sitting on my lap jerking both of us off is one of the hottest things I've ever seen."

Yuri knew he shouldn't disagree, but he couldn't quite bring himself to believe it, either. Ivanov's breathless voice and rock-hard cock made it difficult to discount entirely, however. So Yuri just said, "Good."

"Sticks, I'd like you in me again, though," Ivanov said, even as he rocked up against Yuri. "I did like feeling used like that."

"I bet you did," Yuri said. "Slut." Ivanov shivered. "Pretty little slut." He braced himself against the wall with one hand so he could bend over and kiss Ivanov some more, trapping their hands as well as their dicks between their bodies. "That's my girl," he murmured against Ivanov's lips. "Dirty, slutty little girl."

Ivanov moaned and panted, his hips bucking up helplessly, squashing Yuri's fingers against his abdomen. Yuri stopped kissing him momentarily to extract his hand from between them, then settled more fully on top of Ivanov. The weight of his body worked fine to rub their now-lubricated cocks against each other. When Ivanov withdrew his hand, they wound up more next to each other than on top of each other, but that was fine, they were still pressed together. Yuri rolled his hips, rubbing his cock against Ivanov's and Ivanov's abdomen. Ivanov put his slippery hand on the back of Yuri's neck, holding him there. As if there was anywhere else Yuri would want to be.

"My pretty girl," Yuri said. Ivanov was pretty, especially all flushed and panting like this. His eyelashes were so thick. His cock was so hot between them. "Precious, slutty, dirty girl."

"Blood, yes," Ivanov moaned.

Yuri was too turned on to think of anything else. His cock felt so good, sliding against Ivanov's skin, next to Ivanov's cock. It almost felt more intimate than having his cock inside someone's body. He had Ivanov trapped, his legs pinned in by Yuri's, and his body covered with Yuri's. His cock rubbed against Yuri's groin, popping over as if to kiss Yuri's cock once he was on the back-stroke.

"Please," Ivanov tried to murmur, even as he kissed Yuri's lips. "Please, use me, mark me, make me your woman."

"Uh huh," Yuri said. "Mine. My woman, my slutty, pretty woman."

Ivanov came first time this time, if such a small distinction mattered when it was the feel of his cock pulsing against Yuri's that set him off. Yuri sagged on top of him. Ivanov laughed, and kissed him, grinning. Yuri didn't usually feel like he had the right to lie atop the people he fucked after they finished. He thought Ivanov wouldn't begrudge it.

"Bones, you're heavy," Ivanov grumbled, although he still had both his arms wrapped around Yuri.

After a few moments, Yuri sighed, and rolled off of him, onto his back, so he could finally straighten out his legs.

They lay there in silence a few more moments. Then Ivanov said, "So sex is always that good, huh?"

It had been very nice, but Yuri didn't know that that was the hottest sex he'd ever had. He felt less weird about it in the aftermath, less used, but it hadn't been a profoundly erotic experience or anything. The more noteworthy part for him had been the kissing, which Ivanov had seemed to expect as a matter of course. Yuri asked, "Has it not been before?"

Ivanov laughed. "I guess not," he said. "I kinda thought the reason other guys seemed to be having a better time fucking girls than me was they that were selfish lovers, you know? Like if you made sure a girl had a nice time, it was less fun for you."

"I don't think that's how it's supposed to work," Yuri said. Certainly some johns acted that way, but the girls had negative opinions of that. "I guess I've been with fewer women than you?" he added, because that sure sounded like it was the case.

"Yeah, I don't think that makes a difference," Ivanov said. "In this, anyway. Fucking hell." He rolled over, propped himself up on one elbow, and leaned over to kiss Yuri again. He ran his still-slippery hand down Yuri's chest, then back up, rubbing all of Yuri's chest hair the wrong way and making it stick up. When he pulled back, he asked, "You gonna be up to go again tonight?"

"I can keep going until you're done," Yuri said.

Ivanov smirked. "Yeah?" he asked. "What about a little bit longer than that?"

"In that case," Yuri said, resting his hand on top of Ivanov's on his chest, "I can keep going until you're begging me to stop."

Ivanov shivered. "I don't know if I'm up to try that tonight, but keep it in your back pocket," he said, blushing pink, his voice husky. "Sticks."

Yuri had intended to clean up some before seeing if Ivanov was interested in another round, but he couldn't resist pulling him down into a kiss, and from there, it turned out he didn't have the willpower to hold back with a willing partner.

Ivanov was a similar kind of mean-funny to Kasharik, but less targeted. He was self-deprecating as often as he was insulting to others, and Yuri never got the feeling he meant it, the way some people did. The way Kasharik usually did. It was like finally being included in the barracks-room banter, only the filth was directed at Yuri, and not some passing woman.

He could carry a conversation without much help from Yuri, which was good, but he also wasn't insensible to Yuri's opinion. He seemed good at reading Yuri's expressions from the jump, and only got better with time. Even when he misread them, though, he had a way of continuing the conversation as though he'd gotten a response that could carry them through a good while.

He was extremely touchy-feely, compared to anyone else Yuri spent time with. Some of that was dating, Yuri was sure, but some of it was just the way he was with everyone. He often patted people on the shoulder or nudged them with his elbow. He seemed to flirt with women automatically, which Yuri perhaps should have been more upset about, but mostly found amusing. Ivanov really did come off as feminine in those interactions; Yuri wasn't surprised people assumed he was gay, but he didn't understand how no one before Kasharikhad ever suggested Ivanov might be better suited to womanhood.

The first time he flirted with a woman while they were on a date, Ivanov was mortified. "Blood, I'm sorry," he said to Yuri as soon as he realized. "I wasn't even--shit."

Yuri asked him, "Would you rather be on a date with her?"

Ivanov blushed. "No, of course not," he said. "To tell the truth, I--don't know that I was ever really into girls."

"Really?" Yuri asked. He supposed Ivanov had said something to that effect, the first time they kissed.

"Yeah, turns out there are other reasons to constantly think about girls and how pretty they are," Ivanov said, circumspect since they were in a public restaurant. He was rosy-cheeked, though. He went on, "And I, uh, got things backward."

Yuri couldn't imagine confusing attraction with envy, but he also didn't entirely understand why or how other guys were so opposed to fucking other guys. Sex was sex, and Yuri hadn't found it to make much of a difference who was sucking his cock or why. He liked women more, or at least more often, but it also wasn't exactly safe to go around evaluating the attractiveness of other men. He didn't exactly have any trouble understanding why Kasharik liked a fellow, or what someone might see in Kasharik.

"Sorry," Ivanov repeated, reaching across the table for Yuri's hand.

"It's fine," Yuri said, but he did put his hand in Ivanov's.

The next time it happened, Ivanov swore at himself. "Bloody reflex. Yuri, I swear I don't mean nothing by it."

"I know," Yuri said. He thought the woman Ivanov had been flirting with knew it too; she'd glanced at Yuri, amused, before flirting back. Yuri figured that meant she'd noticed they were on a date.

Anyway, it was easier for Yuri to be okay with it when Ivanov was so affectionate with him. He hadn't really expected to be holding hands or getting cuddled and kissed in relative public. He felt as if no one else had ever liked him so much.

It would have been understandable for Ivanov not to be so cuddly in public. It wasn't like they didn't get dirty looks. But Ivanov only shrugged when Yuri asked if he was worried about strangers thinking they were gay.

"What are they gonna do?" he asked. "They ain't gonna beat us up. I bet most of 'em won't even have the guts to catcall us."

And they hadn't. Yuri caught more of the dirty looks than Ivanov did, because Yuri doubted Ivanov would have been able to avoid picking a fight if he saw some of the more disgusted looks. Ivanov was hot-headed; he couldn't keep his mouth shut when people talked shit around him. Yuri thought there was a good chance that was why Ivanov had learned to fight in the first place. But overall, there was less pushback than Yuri thought there'd be. Maybe his looks explained that, or maybe Ivanov didn't look noteworthy on Yuri's arm. Maybe they looked right together. Or maybe they didn't look stereotypical enough for most people to even notice they were on dates.

It was their fourth date in less than two weeks (was that a lot? was that normal? Ivanov didn't seem to be doing anything other than working and going home, which was all Yuri was doing) when Ivanov said he was ready for Yuri to fuck him in the ass again.

"Yeah?" Yuri asked. "You sure?"

"Didn't hurt none when I fingered myself last night," Ivanov said, then grinned at Yuri. "Weren't half as good as if you'd been doing it, I'm sure."

Fingering was probably the thing Yuri had the least practice with, since he'd been mostly fucking people for Kasharik. He'd done it, but only so it wouldn't hurt so much when he fucked them. He suspected he'd have far more patience for it with Ivanov wriggling and swearing at him. If only there was some way to leverage the power of Ivanov getting turned on about it to make everything Yuri found boring or tedious easier.

Neither of them had done anything about getting Ivanov women's clothing. Yuri did long to see him in a skirt, if only because it wouldn't need to be removed before they could fuck, but he didn't know the first thing about sizes in women's clothing and he knew without asking that Ivanov would be too self-conscious to go shopping with him, even if they pretended it was for someone else and Ivanov didn't get to try things on.

Still, there was something about kneeling between Ivanov's spread legs, working his fingers in and out, that felt distinctly…heterosexual. Even though Ivanov's cock was sticking straight up and bouncing every time he bucked his hips up.

Yuri reached up with his free hand and groped Ivanov's chest as if he did have tits. Ivanov let out a shaky, "Haah."

"I can hardly wait to get my cock in you again," Yuri said, squeezing Ivanov's flat chest as he thrust his fingers in hard.

"Fuck!" Ivanov's hips jerked up again, setting his cock bouncing and swaying. "Can you--please say it?"

"Say what?" Yuri asked. Ivanov kicked him, so he chuckled. "Oh, you want to hear what a good girl you are? How you're spreading your legs for me? A slutty little girl desperate for cock?"

"Bones, Yuri, please," Ivanov panted.

Yuri paused to consider before he said the next part, but decided fuck it, Ivanov was game to try things out and tell him they didn't work. He asked, "You want my cock in your pussy?"

Ivanov laughed. "I fucking wish," he said. "Bones and all, I fucking wish. But don't act like that's what my ass is."

"No good, then?"

"It's fucking absurd," Ivanov said. "I mean, if I had a cunt, I'd still have an asshole you could fuck. And you probably would, you sadistic bastard."

Yuri smiled, and bent down to kiss Ivanov's stomach. "That'd be fun," he murmured. "I bet you'd beg for me to put it in the right hole."

"I'll beg now if it'll hurry you the fuck up," Ivanov said, but Yuri could hear perfectly well that he was smiling.

"Promise?" Yuri growled, mostly for the way he knew it would make Ivanov shiver.

Ivanov shivered.

It took enough work and concentration to keep Ivanov interested but on the edge that Yuri was in no danger of going off too soon. Still, when he finally hitched Ivanov's thighs over his own so he could line up his cock, he had to pause as soon as he got the head in. Ivanov's loud, full-throated moan didn't help keep him from getting too worked up, either.

After a moment's stillness, Ivanov lifted his head to glare at Yuri. "What's the hold-up?" he demanded.

Yuri huffed a laugh. "Baby girl," he said, and felt the pleased clench of Ivanov's body around his cock, "you're still so tight."

"Oh," Ivanov breathed, eyelids drooping. "You're trying not to blow your load, huh? It's that good?"

"You're that good," Yuri said, feeling silly but meaning it with his entire being.

Ivanov giggled, and Yuri would have married her if he could.

It was only a few days later that one of Ivanov's roommates caught them necking outside the building. Yuri froze, not sure what to do, but Ivanov called out, "This ain't a free show, Alexei! Go inside!"

"You're not even worried about your roommates?" Yuri asked after Alexei had moved on.

"They all know I could take 'em," Ivanov said dismissively. "I, uh, was wondering, though," Ivanov went on, not quite making eye contact. "If we might be at the going steady phase of things. In which case I think I'd rather be your sweetie, since I can't really be your girlfriend and I really don't want to be your…." She looked back at Yuri finally. "If that's something you're interested in."

"Yes, sweetheart," Yuri breathed. He kissed her.

"Fuck," Ivanov murmured, smiling against Yuri's lips.

Ivanov (she damn well wasn't keeping the name "Yosif" as a woman, but she hadn't picked a new one out yet; she'd still be an Ivanov even as a woman, so it would have to do for now) stepped into the apartment, pretty much walking on air. She had a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend! Blood and bone, she should've realized sooner she wasn't actually into women, she'd never been this bloody happy about a girl going out with her.

She bent down to yank her boots off, then hung her coat up on the open hook. When she stepped around the corner, all three of her roommates were gathered in the living room, piled onto one couch, staring at her.

She sighed. At least she could get it over with all at once, she thought.

"So," Alexei said. "Who's the guy, Yosif?"

"Whatever happened to 'I'm not into men, stop asking'?" Nikita asked.

"Were you really just making out with another man right in the open?" Damir asked.

"You're like a bunch of old aunties," Ivanov said, rolling her eyes. "His name's Yuri, he's my boyfriend, and it turns out no one ever asked the right questions. Ya old biddies."

"Your boyfriend?" Damir demanded.

Alexei, meanwhile, whipped the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around his head, old countrywoman style. In a high-pitched voice, he said, "I hope you're not letting him take any liberties, young man!"

"If I hadn't let him take liberties, I wouldn'ta known I was wrong about liking men," Ivanov said. She collapsed into the free chair, propping her feet up on the coffee table. "Turns out I was tired of always being the big, strong one."

"Ah," Nikita said, nodding, as Damir sputtered. "'Swhy you could make out right in the open. Anyone fucks with the two of you, they're dead."

"Pretty much," Ivanov said.

Alexei, still with the blanket draped over his head, said, "So he's not one of those guys that looks tough but is actually a pushover."

Ivanov laughed again. "The day I won the UAC tourney, he wiped the floor with me," she said. In a manner of speaking, but that was detail her friends did not need. "Though I am also half-expecting poetry at some point."

"So a little softer than your usual type," Alexei said.

"Shut the fuck up," Ivanov said, grinning. She had gone for pretty strong-willed women; delicate flowers of any gender had never really interested her.

"And why haven't you talked about him before?" Nikita asked. "Usually you won't shut up about your new sweethearts."

Damir punched him in the arm. "Why do you think?" he asked.

Ivanov shrugged. "I wouldn't want to have this whole stone-sworn conversation if it was just a few fucks," he said. "Now we're going steady, it seems worth the effort."

Alexei made an offended noise. "An effort?" he asked. "To tell us? Your best friends? That you are, in fact, not not-gay?"

"Hm," Ivanov said. She rubbed her chin, reflecting that she'd need to shave tomorrow. "I guess I coulda mentioned that sooner. Pretty sure about that one." She shrugged. "Turns out I'm only into guys, I'm just picky."

"You are fucking kidding me," Nikita said.

"Yosif!" Damir exclaimed. "Really?"

"Do you remember our first year," Ivanov asked, "when I said you were all making way too big a deal about how good sex was?"

"Emperor's bones," Alexei said, dropping his head. "You're kidding."

"Look on the bright side, you were right," Ivanov said. "I was doing something wrong."

"For Mad Ivan's sake," Damir said.

"So does that mean you're the one getting it up the ass?" Alexei asked. The blanket slid down around his shoulders as he looked up.

"That ain't any of your business," Ivanov said, "but yes."

"It's better than it sounds," Nikita said. Everyone turned to look at him, instead of Ivanov. "What? Sofia used to put her fingers up there when she was sucking me off. You try telling Sofia Dryden something's too gay for her to do to you."

"I'm pretty sure with tits that size, you can safely say it ain't gay even if she fucks you with a strap-on," Ivanov said. An arresting image to be sure, but maybe not for the reasons she would have thought a few weeks ago.

"How'd you meet him?" Damir asked. "Lexei said he didn't recognize him."

Ivanov laughed again. "I bet he woulda, if the light was better," she said. "He's Kasharik's pet sergeant."

"Kasharik's pet--sticks, Yosif, that guy's butt-ugly," Damir said.

Ivanov shrugged. "You ever see him take his shirt off, you'll get it," he said. "He's fucking built."

"Like it would matter what he looks like when he can beat you in the ring," Alexei said.

"And's good in bed," Nikita said, nodding. "Especially since Yosif's apparently been having shit sex all this time."

"It was fine," Ivanov protested, over the others' laughter. "It just wasn't good. For me. Pretty sure I made it good for the girls."

"Oh, well," Alexei said. "As long as one of you was having fun." He shook his head.

"So he's a sergeant?" Damir said. "I guess that's a respectable non-com you could take home to your folks."

"Yeah, but isn't he attached to Kasharik at the hip?" Nikita asked. "That's…." He glanced at Ivanov. Even in their own apartment, it seemed risky to be more explicit.

"Not ideal," Ivanov agreed. Kashariks were well-known to be a pack of maniacs, even more so than other knobs. Even the other knobs thought they were distasteful, so you knew they were bad. Boris Kasharik was pretty, and apparently insightful, but Ivanov was aware his whims were fickle. She went on, "He introduced us, but I wouldn't wanna rely on his good nature, that's for sure."

"Have you told your parents?" Damir asked.

Ivanov blew a raspberry. "Of course not," she said. "I don't know when I'm gonna, either. I mean, I like Yuri, but I do feel like he might actually be the worst first boyfriend to take home to Ma and Pa."

"What, you don't think your parents want a big, strong man to take care of their baby boy?" Alexei asked. "And a sergeant! Older man, too, I assume. There's uniform hunters would be envious."

"I think Pa might have a bloody coronary," Ivanov said, chuckling. "Or else just ignore it, you know? Full denial."

"It's so nice of you to share your bed wth your friend, Yosif," Alexei said, again putting on a high-pitched voice, for some reason.

"Anyway, that's probably something to worry about when we've been dating longer than half an hour," Ivanov said.

"Oh, you just made it official," Nikita said. "Like, right now."

"After I told Alexei to fuck off," Ivanov agreed.

"I guess I should retract my complaint about you not telling us sooner, damn," Alexei said. "That's as fast as anyone could tell anyone."

"Pretty much," Ivanov said.

"So now we're going steady," Ivanov said, "maybe it won't sound too patronizing if I ask, uh. I mean, you do know Kasharik's bad news, right?"

"He's not that bad," Yuri said.

"Oh sticks," Ivanov muttered, rolling her eyes. "He's a creep and you know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. And I know I don't have no proof he's worse than a creep, but I got a strong suspicion he's worse than that."

"People aren't kind about openly gay men," Yuri said.

Ivanov kicked him under the table, hard. "How many openly gay men are out on the town telling their boyfriends to bend over for a stranger if they don't want to get dumped?" she asked. "Yeah, maybe not just him, but I wouldn't feel too safe around those other guys either."

"He has some questionable tastes," Yuri allowed. "But so do I. So do you."

"Babe," Ivanov said, which made Yuri's chest feel warm and fuzzy despite the conversation topic, "my questionable tastes don't threaten anyone with insubordination or social suicide. You been working with him, what, two years now? You must've noticed he's a dick in a pretty specific way."

"He's not dangerous," Yuri said. After a moment, he reconsidered. "Usually."

"That is not the kind of qualification you gotta make about a safe person," Ivanov said. "You have to know that."

Yuri thought back to how his stomach twisted when Ivanov asked him to keep Kasharik out of their dates, and how certain he'd been that would be a problem. "Maybe," he said. "But I am spending less time with him, now."

"Yeah, well," Ivanov said, smiling. "That ain't the main reason I went out with you, but it's a happy side effect, as far as I'm concerned." She reached across the table for his hand, and Yuri gave it to her. "I just, he's a knobby knob, you know? Seems like he might be possessive." She squeezed his hand. "Which I take issue with."

"Please don't try to fight Lord Kasharik for my hand," Yuri said. Ivanov laughed, as Yuri had intended her to.

Yuri had started out kind of expecting Ivanov to drop him at some point, maybe after she could be out to more people, but he was less and less sure of that every day. Ivanov not only really liked getting plowed by him, she seemed to have a good time on their dates. She laughed at Yuri's jokes, when Yuri thought to make them. She smiled at Yuri all the time. And then of course she asked if Yuri would go steady with her, even providing a substitution for misgendering her that wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Maybe Yuri wasn't experienced at the whole dating thing, but that didn't seem like something you suggested to someone you weren't actually interested in.

The sex was great, of course. It was never really like the first time, but as phenomenal as being able to transition right into fucking from a fight was, Yuri found it was unsurprisingly more rewarding to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with him.

The simple facts that Ivanov got hard and clingy just from making out, that she obviously ogled Yuri's body when Yuri was undressed, and that she was eager to go on dates but by the end of them was just as eager to get Yuri into bed, were so, so nice. Even if the sex had been boring and vanilla, it would have been nice just for that, for feeling desirable. Everyone before Kasharik just wanted something from Yuri, and Kasharik's picks tended to be clearly doing it just to please Kasharik. Some of them had been humiliated by having sex with Yuri. As hot as that was, it was also kind of…degrading, perhaps. To have it happen all the time. That none of them wanted to have sex with him.

He'd sort of assumed that was how everyone would be about him. That he was ugly enough and uncharismatic enough that no one would ever want to have sex with him just for its own sake. But he had to admit Kasharik was unlikely to find that as interesting or fun as convincing people to let Yuri fuck them just to make him happy. And Ivanov wasn't some kind of especially-perverse freak; in most respects she was a normal woman.

Well. As much as a closeted transsexual woman on Kavagor could be.

Yuri had literally beaten Ivanov and forcibly stripped her, yet Ivanov didn't seem humiliated to be having sex with Yuri. Even that first time, she seemed more bothered by what it said about her than about Yuri. And she did it again, and again, and again. She was practically desperate for Yuri's skin against hers by the end of some of their dates. She yelped, hit Yuri, and called him names, but she also moaned like she'd never felt anything so good in her life, locked her ankles behind Yuri, and begged Yuri not to stop.

She was turned on by doing it rough. She liked to fight back a bit, which Yuri really enjoyed, but she also always reached a point where she was too into it to protest. She'd do anything Yuri asked her to at that point, which was the kind of thing Yuri didn't want Kasharik to ever find out about.

"Oh, fuck," Ivanov moaned into a pillow while Yuri humped her furiously. "Blood, Yuri," she said.

"You want it?" Yuri breathed into her ear. "Does my pretty little girl want to get filled up?"

Ivanov whined. "Yes," she said. "Yes, please, yes sir, yes, yes, yes."

"Say it," Yuri demanded.

Ivanov groaned. "Please," she said.

Yuri slipped one arm around Ivanov's neck, taking all his weight on the other arm. "Say it," he growled.

Ivanov whined again. "Please, I want to get filled up, I want you to come inside me, I want it, I like it, please, fill me up, pump me so full of come I get pregnant."

Objectively, that was ridiculous. Gender identity aside, Ivanov did not have the equipment to get pregnant. And Yuri was fucking her in the ass besides, which was not typically something that carried the risk of pregnancy. In the moment, though, it was the hottest thing Yuri had ever heard. He said, "Oh yes, pretty girl, I'm going to knock you up. I'm going to get you pregnant. Just fucking wait."

Ivanov gasped, "Yuri!" and started clenching around Yuri's cock.

"You want it so bad, don't you, sweetie?" Yuri asked. "It's like you're trying to milk it out of me, you slut."

"I am, I do, I want it," Ivanov said. "Blood, Yuri, please, please, I--Sergei's bones," she swore, as Yuri started coming. She said she couldn't feel it much in her ass, but she could certainly feel the way Yuri went taut, and Yuri knew his arm around Ivanov's neck had tightened.

Afterwards, Ivanov buried her face beneath a pillow. "Don't look at me," she said.

"Sweetheart?" Yuri asked.

"I'm fine, it's not you," Ivanov said, waving one hand in the air vaguely. "I'm just embarrassed. Bones."

"Ah," Yuri said.

"I mean, I can't even do that," Ivanov said, words muddied a little by the pillow. "I'm not sure I could do that if I moved to bloody Vilvinudes or Gnilles or something and got every surgery I could."

"Pretty sure you could," Yuri said. "Might take a while, but they can clone people for parts. Don't see why they couldn't clone you a womb."

"It's more I don't got nowhere to put it," Ivanov said, "though I guess most organs are squishy anyway. It's just--fucking embarrassing to get turned on by something I don't even want."

Yuri waited a few moments, but Ivanov didn't acknowledge the irony in that statement. Yuri felt he had to say, "Remind me how we met."

Ivanov kicked him. "Shut up," she said. "That's different. It's fucking normal to get turned on by having your gender affirmed. Or don't you like being my big, strong man?"

"I do," Yuri said. He liked it extra hard because Ivanov could hold her own against almost anyone else; being her big, strong man meant he was pretty damn big and strong. "But I promise it's also normal to get turned on by the idea of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, whether or not you want kids."

"I never said I didn't want kids, I said I didn't want to be pregnant," Ivanov muttered. That was interesting, Yuri thought. "And that's--pregnancy is gross and dangerous. Galactic women don't even do it no more."

That wasn't entirely true, from what Yuri knew about artificial wombs, but he knew what she meant. Certainly women still died in childbirth quite often, which was much less of a concern on planets where they used artificial wombs. "Fair enough," he said.

Ivanov pushed the pillow off her face and rolled over to look at Yuri. "What d'you mean it's normal, anyway?" she asked. "How would you know?"

Yuri realized he'd never told Ivanov about his childhood. "I grew up in a brothel," he said. "Mama was a whore. Pretty common theme from the johns."

"Oh," Ivanov said. Thankfully, she didn't seem either surprised or disgusted. Yuri hadn't really thought she would, but it was always a possibility. "Yeah, all right, I guess you'd have a decent sample to draw from, then. Old Town?" Ivanov asked, and Yuri nodded. "You don't talk like it."

Yuri shrugged. "Makes things worse, usually," he said. "Recruiters thought it made me sound stupid."

"Sure," Ivanov said. "I won't pretend I don't talk a little more proper when I'm in uniform." She poked Yuri's side. "But I ain't gonna judge you for it."

"It's easier not to go back and forth," Yuri said.

"I s'pose," Ivanov said. She poked Yuri's side again. "It is part of why I thought you couldn't be that good in a fight, though."

Yuri thought about that for a moment. He said, "'S good tactics, then, innit?"

Ivanov burst into laughter. "Shut the fuck up," she said, shoving him.

#kavagor #yuri arevin #maria ivanov #boris kasharik

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qzwrites · 2 months

Text

Maria/Arevin pt 1

do you ever imagine a woman so colorful you are compelled to write several thousand words about her having an extremely late-breaking sexual awakening

(sergeant arevin is sasha's childhood bodyguard and helen's father. he is...marginally less fucked up than bothari?)

---

"'Scuse me," someone grunted from the doorway to Jaz's right, and ze took a step back to let them out. It was a tall, thin, visibly trans woman bodily hauling a man out of a bar. The man was struggling, but his feet were barely touching the ground.

Jaz watched with some bemusement as the clocky woman threw the man into the street. "Woman enough to kick your ass, faggot!" she shouted at him, then glanced at Jaz. "No offense," she said.

"None taken," Jaz said.

"And stay the fuck outta my bar," the woman barked at the man she'd just thrown out. "'Less you can learn to keep your nasty comments to yourself! Piece of shit," she muttered, as the man scrambled to his feet and down the street.

"Pardon me, ma'am," Jaz said to her, "strange question, but are you single?"

She glanced at Jaz and snorted. "You couldn't handle me, kid," she said.

Jaz laughed. "I'm actually already married," ze said, "but I have a friend--a former fuck-buddy, actually--who I think might like you."

She took a closer look at Jaz. "You're one of them Petrov Gnillesians," she said after a moment.

Jaz, conscious of the fact that ze was wearing trousers, dipped into zeir daintiest curtsey. "At your service," ze said.

"You were fucking someone other than Lord Petrov?" the woman asked skeptically.

Jaz laughed. "Oh, ma'am," ze said. "Yeah, I was fucking people other than Sasha. I would've attempted Kavagoran-style monogamy if he asked, but thank God he did not."

She gave Jaz another once-over, then sneered at zem. "You think because someone fucked your pansy ass they won't mind a tranny, huh?" Considering she was taller than Jaz and had just carried an adult man with little apparent effort, Jaz was willing to let her call zem a pansy; she was clearly actually strong.

Jaz shrugged. "Mostly I think you just kicked that guy's ass and you're not a man, which are kind of the two main things he's looking for," ze said. "And I don't think you'd have any problem telling him to shut the fuck up when he's being...weird."

"Weird how?" she asked, frowning. She pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her back pocket, tapped one out, and set it between her lips. Then she offered Jaz the pack.

"No thanks," Jaz said. She shrugged and slid the pack back into her pocket before pulling a lighter out of a different pocket. Jaz said, "I mean, he's a Kavagoran man with war trauma and a chip on his shoulder about being in the service. Except he's also worked for the Petrovs for the last thirty years. What do you think?"

She lit the cigarette and took a drag before she answered. "Sounds interesting, at least," she said. "I appreciate you asking if I'm single, like I might not be," she added.

"I mean, I don't know you," Jaz said, with a shrug, "and if there's one thing I know people on this planet get offended by, it's acting like marital status doesn't have anything to do with if you're down to fuck."

The woman exhaled, nodding. "Name's Maria Ivanov," she said, looking at Jaz sidelong. "I am single, and I have to admit I'm curious as to who the fuck you think would find both of us equally attractive." She was delightful, Jaz thought.

"Jaz Arroyo Petrov," ze said, smiling. "Nice to meet you. Have you ever seen Baron or Baroness Petrov out somewhere with an armsman who looks like he got hit by a truck?" Jaz asked. Maria snorted and nodded. "That's the guy," Jaz said.

"Petrov's butt-ugly attack dog," Maria said.

"He's actually really sexy," Jaz said, "although I guess that relies on you being into the kind of shit I'm into."

Maria snorted. "That feels like a big if, kid," she said.

"It is," Jaz said. "Better chances here than back on Gnilles, though. I think."

"So rough shit, then," Maria said, smiling a little. "Well, I ain't opposed to that. Don't know if I'm 'into' it."

"Oh?" Jaz asked. Ze smirked. "You're trying to tell me you're a Kavagoran woman who isn't even a little bit into a man who's big and tough enough to just take what he wants?"

Maria sputtered on her cigarette. "Shit," she said, laughing, "yeah, okay, when you put it like that. Blood and bone." She waved a hand in front of her body, indicating herself. "Not really something I expected to come across." She was not quite as tall as Helen, and she hadn't seemed to struggle to carry an adult man out of the bar. Men who were bigger and tougher than her were rare, even on Kavagor.

"So it'd be an experience, at least," Jaz said.

"It would," Maria agreed. "What the hell, why not?"

Arevin was visibly just humoring Jaz when he agreed to meet Maria. He'd outright rolled his eyes when Jaz told him, "I met a lady I think you might like," which was a charming bit of rudeness he wouldn't have dreamed of letting zem see when Jaz first came home with Sasha.

Maria's schedule was a little weird, since she was a bartender and either managing the place for the owner or part-owner herself, but eventually she arranged to meet Jaz and Arevin at the Petrov's horse yard.

"Arevin," Jaz said when they were all there, "this is Maria."

Maria had made the unconventional choice to show up in trousers, but she had on a top with the criss-cross bust detailing of traditional Kavagoran blouses, as well as a light jacket that had machine embroidery down the front opening, around the collar, and on the sleeve cuffs. She had her hair pulled into an incongruously formal bun and had put on makeup. She wore a set of earrings that matched her necklace. She almost looked more obviously trans like that than she had throwing a bigot out of the bar. Jaz thought she was probably the bravest person ze'd ever met on Kavagor.

Arevin looked at her and said, "Not much to look at."

Jaz rolled zeir eyes. Evenly, though not really politely, Maria said, "You're not exactly a prize yourself, old man. But I guess you must be a decent armsman, for Baron Petrov to keep you around so long."

He grunted. "Arroyo said you could fight."

"Enlisted Mixed-Weight UAC Champ three years running," Maria said.

That appeared to confuse Arevin. He stared at Maria blankly for a few moments. Then he said, "Oh, you used to be a man."

Jaz closed zeir eyes.

Maria laughed. "Are you going blind, old man? It ain't like I pass good."

"I just thought you were ugly," Arevin said, shrugging.

"Holy shit, Sarge," Jaz said. Ze was forced to reconsider the possibility that he had been trying to be polite to zem when Sasha first brought zem home, and was simply very bad at it.

Maria just laughed some more. "Ugly and stupid," she said. "What a combo. You brought me to a real winner, kid." She stripped off her jacket and handed it to Jaz. Her top was sleeveless, and her arms were the lean kind of muscular Jaz bet felt like iron. Then she reached up to take out her earrings, which was a good call; Arevin hated that Jaz wouldn't take zeirs out when they sparred. She turned and handed those to Jaz as well. Then she reached into her shirt and pulled out...her breasts? She handed those to Jaz, too, who took them reflexively, because when someone handed zem their fake boobs ze accepted them. Evidently. "Don't look at 'em like that, kid," she said, "I know they're not as fancy as yours, but they're the most expensive thing I own."

"Maria," Jaz said, "after you and Sarge are done sizing each other up, we're gonna go see Lady Sardavin and see about getting you some estrogen."

Maria snorted. "Yeah, sure, kid," she said.

Jaz put the earrings in zeir pocket, threw the jacket over zeir arm, and shuffled both breast forms into the cradle of one elbow so ze could pull out zeir com. "Danny," ze said the instant her voice mail would let zem speak, "I have no idea how to help someone get hormones on this planet but the woman I brought to meet Sarge just handed me her fake boobs with her earrings and now they're doing that circling thing. She didn't believe me when I told her I was going to see about getting her some estrogen. I just realized I don't know if she even knows about hormonal transition. Am I being presumptuous? Am I the privileged galactic asshole right now? This planet's got me so fucked up, Danny. Holy shit, I think Sarge is bleeding." Zeir com beeped in zeir ear. "Fuck, now I think you're calling me back," ze said, and scrambled to hang up without rejecting the incoming call.

"Hey, babe, what's up?" Daniil asked when Jaz managed to answer.

"I'm having a fucking episode is what's up," Jaz said. Arevin wiped the blood off his face while Maria rolled to her feet. Jaz saw why she had her hair up now; she had much more of it than Jaz did, and it would be either in her face or a handhold if it wasn't pinned to her head like that. Into the com, ze asked, "How hard is it for a normal person to get hormones on this planet? I'm assuming her veteran's benefits won't cover it."

Daniil snorted. "Yeah, no," she said. "Call back in about fifty years. Does she have money? Not nobility money, just regular money."

"Well," Jaz said, "she took out her fake boobs before she and Sarge started fighting, and she said they were the most expensive thing she owned, so I'm guessing not."

"She what? Jaz, what is happening?"

"I found the perfect woman for Helen's dad," Jaz said. "They are currently attempting to beat the hell out of each other. I wasn't really expecting them to go through with the fistfight but I guess this is what passes for a courting ritual on your world."

"For Helen's father? Sounds about right," Daniil said. "Did you say she was a veteran?"

"When he asked if she could fight, she said something about being a champion enlisted mixed-weight fighter," Jaz said. "Three years running. That's when Sarge clocked her as trans. She laughed at him because she doesn't really pass, but as far as he's concerned, if you're dressed as a woman, you're a woman."

"That is one of the few positive qualities I would ascribe to him, yes," Daniil said. Like her husband, she was not as attached to Arevin as the Petrovs proper were. "Okay, I bet she can get bloodwork done with the military benefits, that's good. I don't really want to take risks with someone else's organ function. Where are you? Petrov House?"

"The horse yard, yeah," Jaz said. "Knowing Sarge, I figured we should be somewhere not legally public. He's definitely having fun, at least."

"I don't understand why you're invested in him," Daniil said. "I'll be right over, give me like half an hour."

"You're the best, I love you," Jaz said.

"Damn right," Daniil said, sounding just like Yakov, "love you too." She ended the call.

Maria dodged out of the way of a feint and just managed to deflect the actual blow, but it knocked her off balance. Arevin had her on the ground in half a second, arms locked above her head with his. Maria laughed, wheezing a little. "You are good," she said. She struggled a little. "Strong." She wriggled a little more, this time in her lower body. It looked fairly obscene. "Feels like you got a pretty big dick, too." She shouted, "Hey, kid! Why didn't you list a big dick as one of his selling points?"

"I don't know that it is," Jaz called back, walking over to them. "Coupla times I would've appreciated a slightly smaller dick."

"Liar," Arevin said, releasing Maria's arms. He rolled off of her to get to his feet.

Maria didn't get up, just rolled onto her back, grinning. "Seems to me," she said to Jaz, "if you're looking for masochists, a big dick's gotta be a plus. Even if it isn't, it hurts, so it is."

Arevin snorted as he stood, then extended a hand to help Maria up. God, he didn't do that for anyone but Sasha and Emil. And Delara, probably, although Jaz had never seen her spar with anyone.

Maria eyed his proffered hand. "It is so tempting to yank you back down here," she said.

"You're too out of shape to go again," Arevin said.

She laughed. "Bones, ain't that right! I haven't worked so hard since I took my twenty," she said, and took his hand. She grunted a bit as she got to her feet, but she didn't try to throw him, and he didn't drop her. Unless Jaz was mistaken, that meant ze was now a qualified Kavagoran match-maker. Specializing in weird, violent veterans. Which was at least a bigger demographic on Kavagor than back home.

"Daniil's on the way to talk about hormone therapy," Jaz said, "because I don't know shit about your awful health care system." Ze handed over Maria's boobs, then her jacket, then her earrings. While Maria reassembled herself, Jaz asked, "Should we go up to the house and see if Ma's got anything in the fridge?"

"Don't you dare introduce me to no Petrovs," Maria said, putting in her earrings. "Not when we just been rolling in the dirt." Her top was a little grass-stained, and there was mud on both her trousers and Arevin's.

"If they're in the kitchen, they are but humble supplicants to Ma Eshman, the cook," Jaz said. "Simply an old guy and a bunch of dirty galactics." Ze laughed when Arevin made the face he always made when ze said things like that. "It's a term of endearment, Sarge."

"It's not," Arevin said.

Maria laughed. "Coming from the kid?" she asked. "I'm sure it is. Ze said you were really sexy, so you know something's wired wrong in zeir head."

"I prefer to think of it as a fresh perspective," Jaz said haughtily. Maria laughed again.

They were just sitting down to sandwiches and fresh lemonade, because Ma Eshman couldn't help herself, when Daniil swanned through the door in one of her hugely poofy skirt outfits. "Hello!" she said. "Good afternoon, Ma Eshman, oh, is that fresh lemonade? You are a wonder. Sergeant, Jaz, ma'am, I'm afraid with all the personal information ze was telling me Jaz somehow neglected your name." She glared at zem as she sat down at the kitchen table. Her hair was still growing out, but her skirt doubled her size and her tits were on prominent display in the coordinating top.

"Er, Maria, my lady." She kicked Jaz under the table.

"Daniil is explicitly not a Petrov, she's a Sardavin," Jaz said, since that must have been what the kick was about, "and what did I tell you about the kitchen? This is a class-free zone. There's Ma Eshman at the top, then whoever she's got doing errands for her, and then the rest of us common plebians begging for scraps."

"So true," Daniil said, taking a sandwich. "It's wonderful to meet you, Maria; do you even want hormones? It didn't sound as if Jaz asked," she said, again glaring at zem. Since ze'd realized that zemself, ze wasn't offended. If Daniil thought casting zem as the bad guy was the right play for a Kavagoran audience, she was probably right.

"Didn't think I could afford them," Maria said with a shrug. "And even if I could, don't the doctors make you do all sorts of stupid shit, like therapy and cutting your dick off? I know it ain't the most impressive piece of meat, but we still been through a lot together. Don't know if I'm willing to chop it off."

"I'd love to tell you that's not true, but it more or less is," Daniil said. "Which is why I manufacture my own hormones and get my blood work done through means I can't discuss in front of anyone still in the Imperial Service, except for my husband."

"Ah," Maria said, smiling and relaxing a bit.

Still, Jaz felt obligated to point out, "Therapy isn't stupid."

Daniil sighed. "Jaz," she said. "Do you think there is any chance a therapist who accepts military benefits will actually know or care about informed consent?"

"Fair," Jaz said. "But in general."

"Yes, medical care you can trust is great," Daniil said, rolling her eyes. "This is not the planet, Jaz."

Arevin frowned at Jaz. "Wasn't it therapists who thought milady was brainwashed and tried to lock her up?"

Right, he knew about that. "Okay," Jaz said, holding zeir hands up in surrender, "so Gnillesian therapists are bad at war therapy and Kavagoran therapists are bad at gender therapy."

"Excuse me, when was this?" Daniil asked.

"After Vilvinudes," Jaz said. "My history lessons in school were mixed about if she was nuts or it was a star-crossed lovers thing, but these days they mostly agree she was right and they fucked up."

"'Mostly'," Maria said, rolling her eyes. "They been married since the week she got here!"

"Milord is still a [bogeyman] to many Gnillesians," Arevin said. Maria shook her head.

"Anyway," Daniil said, flapping a hand, "all that aside, the main reason to get blood work done is to make sure your liver and kidneys are processing everything okay and not getting overstressed. It's nice to monitor your actual estrogen and progesterone levels versus your testosterone, but since HRT has visible effects from the outside, it's not as medically necessary. So you can probably get the blood work covered at your clinic or the military hospital, especially if you have any other medications or history of drug use."

Maria snorted. "I was a grunt," she said. "'Course I got a history of drug use."

"That's what I was hoping," Daniil said brightly. "If you're not already monitoring your levels, it shouldn't be hard to get your docs to do it."

"I'm getting older, I gotta look after my health," Maria said, nodding.

"Exactly," Daniil said. "Surgery's a whole other thing I can't help with, because I'm not about to go to actual medical school, but that's also still a thing you want to wait on, right, Jaz?"

"Depending on the surgery, I think," Jaz said. "You don't want to get a boob job while your boobs are still coming in, but I think if you want to get rid of your gonads, you can do that whenever."

"Hmm," Daniil said. She leaned back in her chair. "I suppose the best options for surgeons who listen to you are going to be off-world."

"I assume," Jaz said. "Especially for you."

Daniil laughed. "I didn't think I'd find anyone here willing to do a PPV," she said. "But just now I was thinking about an orchie."

"Ah," Jaz said. "Yeah, I don't know. I know they can do pretty impressive trauma reconstructions here, but I have to assume they're more used to preserving testicles than getting rid of them."

"You could go to a vet for that," Maria said. "Still do it to horses and livestock all the time."

Daniil shook her head. "They'd be putting their license at risk," she said. "Especially since most veterinarians are still commoners. It wouldn't be worth it to do illegal surgery on me. Especially not now that I'm Lady Sardavin."

"Oh," Maria said, looking enlightened, "you're the Tamarov kid everyone thought was a fag who somehow seduced Lady Sveta's son."

Daniil laughed. "That is the sweetest way anyone has ever failed to recognize me," she said. "Yeah, I decided it was easier to avoid fighting my family about it when Yakov didn't mind everyone thinking he was gay for a few months. I'd actually started hormones more than a year earlier, and I was kind of wondering what it would take for them to notice." She drew a line under her boobs with one hand. "These were getting rather hard to hide."

"Besides, Danny is a fag who somehow seduced Yakov," Jaz said. "Although yeah, I'm sure already having the tits helped."

Daniil smiled, her cheeks dimpling. "He is a simple man, my Yakov," she said.

Maria stared at Daniil, like she needed to re-evaluate her. Eventually, she asked, "You can get me estrogen?" Daniil nodded. "What, just out of some kind of tranny sisterhood?"

Daniil shrugged. "You can think of it as a favor to Jaz, if you'd rather."

"I'd feel like I'm cheating you," Maria said. "Getting something for nothing."

Jaz nodded. "I'd offer to fuck her for it," ze said, "but I'd do that anyway."

"Blood, kid, how many people besides your husband are you fucking?"

Jaz shrugged. "It's normal back home to fuck your friends," ze said. "Sasha doesn't mind." Truthfully, Sasha rather liked it, but that was still something he wouldn't publicize widely.

"Don't worry," Daniil to Maria absently, "Sasha fucks other people too." She drummed her fingers on the table next to her plate. "Do you smoke?" she asked Maria.

"Yeah, but they're Imps," she said. "Doc told me those don't fuck with your heart as bad."

Daniil grinned. "Perfect," she said. "I mean, yes, if you smoked domestics, I'd strongly suggest you stop, but if you could hook me up with your supplier...? Or be a go-between. I'd appreciate it."

"So it ain't just black market hormones, huh?" Maria asked, smiling. "Yeah, I can do that."

"As much as I adore using Sardavin money to bribe people," Daniil said, "sometimes you don't want that kind of attention. Tusmoen cigarettes are a more manageable exchange rate in my circles anyway."

Maria laughed. "I bet," she said.

They exchanged com codes, and then Jaz excused Daniil and zemself, leaving Maria and Arevin alone at the kitchen table.

"Where the hell did you find her?" Daniil asked, giggling. "She is wonderful."

Jaz laughed. "She's a crusty old bitch," ze said. "Isn't she perfect? She had him working for it in the fight, too. I came across her on the street, beating up a bigot. She called him a faggot, then looked at me and said, 'No offense.'"

Daniil laughed. "Of course she did."

"So," Maria said when the kids left them. "You want to give it a go?"

"If you're not just humoring Arroyo," Arevin said.

Maria snorted again. "If a hot young slut like that says you're a good lay, I'll take that bet," she said. She grinned at him. "And I already know you got a good job. Sure, you'll hit a gal, but I can hit back."

Ma Eshman interrupted, "No funny business in my kitchen." She went around the table, collecting the plates and glasses. "Even if it is funny funny business. That's what the rest of the damn house is for."

"Yes, ma'am," Maria said reflexively, and found Arevin echoing her. They stood, and Maria followed him into the house proper.

As he led her to a narrow servant's stair, he murmured, "That woman's younger than me, and still makes me feel like I'm a misbehaving child."

Maria laughed. "A cook in her kitchen is higher'n the Emperor hisself," she quoted.

The bedroom he took her to was too small to be anything but a servant's room in a house like this, but it was nice. Neat, and clean. There were enough personal touches it didn't feel like a hotel room, but all it told you about the man who slept in it was that he had a child and an Imperial commendation, both of which were things Maria already knew. It was dominated by a large bed with nice bedding on it. Maria wondered if the kid had anything to do with that; ze was nice enough, but probably pretty prissy.

Arevin went and stood by the desk. Apparently they had more talking to do. Maria stayed near the door, more out of habit than any real concern. That, and there was nowhere to sit but the bed and the desk. After a moment, Arevin said, "I don't know how much Arroyo told you."

"You're easier to look up than most," Maria said. He didn't have an encylopedia page of his own, although he did have a pretty sizable section on Emil Petrov's. "But when I realized the kid was trying to hook me up with Petrov's attack dog, I did, you know, have an idea what I was getting into."

"Ah," Arevin said. After a moment, he added like it was a question, "You're still here."

Maria shrugged. "Twenty years ago, I might've bailed," she said. Though, twenty years ago she wouldn't have agreed to go back to a man's room for sex no matter who that man was. "But he let you babysit his kid, which I figure means that pardon wasn't only outta guilt. Besides," she said, a little more softly, "I did a tour on Ebatur, when I was fresh outta basic. And I'm not too proud of some of that."

He just looked at her for a moment, then huffed a little, tiny laugh. "Yeah," he said.

"So are we doing this thing, or do I gotta pick a fight to get you in the mood?" Maria asked.

He jerked his head toward the bed, so Maria shrugged out of her jacket, hung it on one of the hooks next to the door, and headed for it.

He immediately went for the hem of her shirt. Maria slapped his hands. "Shit, I know I ain't no lady," she said, "but I ain't a whore, neither. An ounce of fucking romance, please?"

He froze in place, looking up at her completely blankly.

The kid told Maria he was weird, and he seemed to have met Petrov through the infamous Boris Kasharik, so who knew what he thought sex was normally like. She hadn't found any information about who the mother of his daughter was anywhere, but the rumor mill fetched up an old tidbit about her being a whore's get, and it hadn't been hard to find out Arevin was himself a whore's son. "Sorry," she said, mentally kicking herself for letting her tongue run away with her. "Nothing wrong with whores. I just meant I'd like some kissing first."

"Oh," Arevin said. He kept staring at her, though. After an eternity where Maria wondered what the hell was wrong with wanting to be kissed, he said, "I've never done that."

"What?" she asked.

He cleared his throat. "I've never kissed a willing woman."

"Oh," Maria said. She settled her arms on his shoulders. "I can't imagine it's much different," she said. "And to be frank, it's the only part I don't got bad associations with myself, so I'd appreciate including it."

He set his hands on her hips, frowning a little. He looked so out of his depth, confronted with the idea of kissing her, especially compared to how unhesitating he'd been when they were fighting. Emperor help her, but it was kind of cute. She leaned in to do the hard part for him, lining up their mouths and trying to avoid being impaled on his giant beak of a nose. At first, it was like kissing a statue, but he relaxed after a moment.

He wasn't exactly a good kisser, having not done it for nearly thirty years (because she sure fucking hoped upstanding Regent-turned-Prime-Minister Petrov hadn't been letting him kiss unwilling women), but kissing wasn't 5-D math. His hands slid around to grab her ass, and that was pretty nice.

Maria hadn't really expected to enjoy kissing Arevin. She barely enjoyed kissing any of the people she kissed before, but there were a few key differences between that and this, such as her and him. She'd always before been kissing someone who thought she was a man, and that someone had always been a woman. It turned out that even being potentially attracted to someone made a difference when it came to kissing. Go figure.

Arevin pulled back. In an even rougher voice than his usual throat full of gravel, he asked, "Now can I take your clothes off?"

Maria's stomach flipped over. "Yes, please," she said, surprised at how fucking maidenly she sounded.

He undressed her efficiently, without comment, although he did duck in and kiss her in between steps. He also kissed her throat, her chest, and her stomach as he uncovered them. Maria had no idea if he would have done that before she asked for kissing, but she liked it either way.

He let her deal with her own underwear, which was just as well since her boobs were sticking to her chest. He undressed himself even more efficiently, and Maria had to admit, it did improve the view. His face was homely at best, but his body was a pretty damn good one. And he was partially hard already, which was flattering even if it was just a physical reaction to rolling around on the ground, talking about sex, then making out.

Maria thought she felt naked when she took out her boobs earlier, but that was nothing next to being actually naked in front of a man. She was self-conscious of fucking everything: her flat chest, the stubble on her cheeks and chest, the breadth of her shoulders. The Gnillesian kid had broad shoulders and narrow hips, but ze also had great tits and a trim little waist. Lady Sardavin was fat, but even if that big skirt made her look curvier than she was, she had big tits to go with it. Whereas Maria was a fucking scarecrow with long hair.

Arevin barely even looked at her once they were both naked; he shoved Maria back onto his bed and climbed on top of her. The bloody kid was right; feeling like he was taking her was going straight to Maria's head and dick. He ran his hands over her like he was mapping unfamiliar terrain. He grabbed her non-existent tits, which was embarrassing even though she liked it. Then he kissed her again.

He still wasn't a very good kisser, but he was enthusiastic. Maria found it difficult to doubt the sincerity of a man doing such a middling job with such gusto.

He ventured a kiss to her neck, which was scratchy with his stubble. It made Maria shiver, which was a new reaction. He took it as encouragement, and started all but gnawing on her. That was a little more like she'd expected, but it did surprise her how much she liked it. She found herself helplessly letting out little moans and gasps, like some damsel getting ravished in old-fashioned porn.

Arevin nibbled his way down her neck to her chest. He only licked and sucked at her nipples for a few seconds before she said, "Not there, it's depressing."

He grunted acknowledgement and moved down to her ribs, which hurt more but still somehow felt better. Then his mouth was on her stomach, her hips--such as they were--and she was rather looking forward to him getting to her thighs, which were surely biteable, but instead he pressed his lips to her dick.

She sucked in a sharp breath. "Shit," she said, "you don't gotta."

Arevin paused. He looked up at her, nearly expressionless. "Do you not want me to?" he asked.

"Did I say that?" she demanded. "If you're willing to, be my fucking guest, I only--oh, shit!"

He was better at sucking dick than he was at kissing, which Maria was going to hope had more to do with the Gnillesian kid than whatever Kasharik made him do. It certainly seemed like a less rusty skill.

He got her right up to the verge of orgasm, then stopped abruptly. Maria pounded her heels on his back. "You bastard," she said, "I was two seconds from coming!"

He shrugged. "Didn't know if you'd let me keep going after you finished."

"What, you think I can't take it?" Maria demanded. "Don't pretend you stopped fucking the kid after one orgasm."

"Arroyo has a cunt," Arevin said. "No refractory period." After a moment, he added, "Despite what ze might've said, I would like you to enjoy yourself."

Maria smiled. "Uh huh," she said. "C'mere."

Looking a bit bemused, he obeyed her beckoning gesture. He was obviously surprised when she kissed him. He was really not used to affection, huh? Maria was sure the kid was fun in bed, but even attack dogs wanted to be pet. Just because ze was already married was no excuse not to kiss a fuck-buddy.

Arevin kissed back more aggressively now. He was rock-hard against her, his dick hot and digging into the crease of her hip and leg. Maria had barely even done anything but let him touch her. He'd gotten like that just sucking her dick. Probably that had more to do with him than with her, but it was still nice. It made her feel sexier than any girl cooing over her arms or begging for her dick ever had.

"You gonna fuck me?" she mumbled, in between kisses. "It ain't the one you're used to, but I still got a hole to put your dick in."

He growled and bit her lip. "I have fucked plenty of women in the ass," he said. After a moment, he added, "And Arroyo."

"Then why aren't you?" Maria asked. "You got me all worked up and now you're not even doing anything about it." That wasn't true, he was rocking against her and still running his hands over her chest and sides. It wasn't exactly traditional sex, but she'd enjoyed herself well enough doing the same thing before. She guessed it would be even better with him.

He growled again, and moved to kiss her neck some more. That offered support for her guess; she couldn't help thrusting her hips up into him as he worried at her neck.

Eventually, he pulled away and rolled over to one side of the bed to pull open a nightstand drawer, from which he pulled lube and a condom.

"What's the raincoat for?" Maria asked. "I ain't gonna get pregnant."

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. After a moment, he said, "Milady insists on them. Er," he blinked, evidently trying to recall the rationale behind a long-internalized order. "Disease prevention," he said finally.

"I guess," Maria said, although she guessed Baron Petrov's right hand man got tested and treated regular, while she had spent years practicing the best sexual hygiene of all: celibacy. But it'd also prevent an ass full of spunk, which she had not been particularly looking forward to experiencing if he finished inside her.

For a while, it seemed like the condom might be unnecessary. He spent so damn long fingering her she thought he must have gone soft, even though he somehow managed to keep her on edge the whole time. She hadn't given that much thought to this part before, except as a means to an end. Arevin may as well have been given special Imperial orders to finger her asshole for all the gravity and tenacity with which he approached the task.

She was once again on the brink of orgasm when he withdrew. "Swear to Mad Old Ivan I'm going to fucking kill you if you do that one more time," she said, craning her head up so she could see to aim her kick.

Instead, she saw him rolling a condom onto his dick, which didn't seem to have flagged at all that whole time. He looked up at her with dark eyes and said, "I won't."

Maria was reminded when he started pushing into her that his dick was bigger than anything she'd ever had inside her, so perhaps the length of time he spent fingering her wasn't wholly to torment her with an orgasm ever-out-of-reach. It was absurd, actually, that it could even fit in her. She wasn't sure there was room for any other thoughts in her head, let alone space in her body.

It was without question the best thing she'd ever felt in her life. She could not believe how much better it was than letting her girlfriends use their sex toys on her. Sure, it probably helped that she was the only woman involved in the equation, but tap-dancing zombie Emperor, this was a whole other experience.

He settled on top of her, cock buried in her up to her bloody guts, and kissed her again. Possibly he was a real quick study, or possibly Maria's standards had taken a nosedive owing to her complete preoccupation with her newfound calling as a sheath for this man's cock; it was fantastic, and she wrapped her arms around him in order to press as much of her body against his as possible.

Then he started moving.

"Oh fucking hell," Maria swore. "Shitting motherfucking bones, that feels good."

"Good," Arevin grunted.

"Oh, fuck," she said. "Blood. Fuck!"

Maria had no idea how long they went on like that. It felt like an age--the best bone-sworn age of her life--but knew from experience the actual dick-in-a-hole bit usually didn't go much longer than ten or fifteen minutes. She wouldn't have minded it lasting longer, that was for sure, even if she did feel like she couldn't breathe with Arevin's cock pushing all the air out of her lungs.

She had a wild orgasm, or possibly two nigh-simultaneous orgasms considering the order of events and how intense it was, and lost the ability to hang onto him. He paused. Maria patted his face, aiming for but not entirely landing on his cheek, and said, "If you wanna keep going, go ahead."

He grunted, and did.

Despite how thoroughly fucked-out and relaxed Maria was, she was starting to get a little uncomfortable right where, you know, her asshole was experiencing the greatest friction. Thankfully, as she started to contemplate saying something, Arevin slammed his cock into her one last time and gasped.

Once he went limp atop her, Maria said, "Bones, you're sweaty." She jostled him. "Come on, I don't want you laying on me just because you're the best lay I ever had."

He grumbled, reached down between them to pull out without losing the condom, and rolled off her. He disposed of the condom before asking, "Best you ever had?"

"Don't get too excited," Maria said, "my sample size is one."

He blinked at her, then asked, "You were a virgin?"

"Of fucking course not, I'm fifty-eight," Maria said. Bones, imagine if she'd gone all that time not getting laid at all. "But it was all, you know, with women. As a man. Or, trying to be a man," she said, even though that wasn't necessarily right either. "It wasn't very...I kind of checked out, you know?"

He nodded, jerkily.

"Yeah, I bet you do," Maria said softly. She expected there were a lot of folks who survived being around Boris Kasharik by checking out of what they were doing. "Anyway, they weren't really what I would call good times."

"But this was."

She grinned at him. "Very good," she said. "You wanna do it again sometime, I'd be real happy to oblige."

He looked at her for a moment before he said, "I'd like that."

>dam kid, you undersold it

>is sex sposed to be that good??? was i doin it rong???

>i mean i was, i was fuckin girls an kinda not there for it but holy SHIT

Jaz giggled. "What?" Daniil asked. Jaz angled zeir com so Daniil could read it. Daniil did so, then laughed. "Blood, really? I mean, good job, I guess."

"I guess I should have figured I was helping two people with weird sex baggage," Jaz said, sending Maria back an assortment of celebratory pictograms. "Not just one."

"Probably," Daniil said. "Most trans women on this planet are not going to have a long and storied career as a slutty townie."

"So sad," Jaz said, shaking zeir head.

#kavagor #maria ivanov #yuri arevin

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