"A Broken Teacup" { Postwar Levi x Reader Oneshot }
CW: ⊹₊ Angst and Eventual Comfort ⊹₊ Pregnancy ⊹₊ Mention of Intimate Moments ⊹₊ Mention of a Character Death ⊹₊ Writing this made me cry a bit ⊹₊ ( I need a hug ) ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১
• 3,096 word count •
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Synopsis:
(y/n) was Levi's caretaker, close friend and former squadmate. After the rumbling and the death of Hange,
Hange has left a void at Levi's heart that (y/n) can't fill.
After seeking warmth and comfort from each other, (y/n) ends up carrying Levi's baby.
Due to their complicated and unclear relationship mixed with the fact that they are both hurting, Another incident occurs, (y/n) accidentally knocked off Hange's favorite teacup from the kitchen counter, leading to a further strain in their relationship.
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After the rumbling that occured that wiped out eighty-percent of humanity, Levi ended up in a not so good state, he lost one of his eye and two of his fingers from the thunderspear explosion with Zeke. During the final war with Eren's titan form, Levi's leg was also damaged making him unable to move as efficiently as he did during his prime.
At a small little cozy house in Marley near the sea in a nearby small but warm village, Levi resided there, with his former squadmate (y/n).
Levi and (y/n) were both pretty close honestly, When Erwin and Hange were both still alive, they were the closest friends, Their bond with each other was more than just comrades and friends, They were like family.
Levi wasn't the expressive type, but (y/n) knew that Levi had strong emotions that he conveyed for the former Commander Hange, They were always close, Hange had this warmth in her that Levi needed, that Levi seeks for, They once even talked about living at a small cottage at the forest after everything was over when Levi was injured and Hange tended to his wounds. But everything shattered for Levi when she passed away due to a honorable sacrifice she made in order to save the squad and to save Humanity.
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The room was filled with the sounds of panting, (y/n) and Levi just finished an intimate activity in their sofa at their small dim living room. (y/n) knew that a void was left in Levi's heart, it was a huge void that even her love itself can't fill.
"Captain..." (y/n) burries herself into Levi's chest, sinking into his warmth.
Levi returns the warmth but his gaze falter,
"I'm sorry (y/n)..." He said in a somewhat monotone voice that conveyed sorrow,
(y/n) knew what it meant, she can never fill the void Hange had left the former Captain, She was the person Levi would always run to, the person Levi would seek comfort to, the person that will hold Levi's heart for the longest time.
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Two months had past prior to the intimate activity that Levi and (y/n) did, Levi noticed the change in her appetite, how she would always run to the sink as she threw up the contents from her stomach every morning, how she was more sensitive and emotional compared to the reserved and calm demanor she usually had.
Levi approached (y/n) as her head was at the sink again as she went through her new routine of retching and heaving every morning.
"Are you ok (y/n)?" Levi asked her, with concern evident in his tone of voice, he spoke to her in a gentle and calming tone, which was different from his usual monotone and stern demanor and way of communicating.
"I'm alright..." (y/n) replied as she wiped her mouth and opened the sink letting the water gush cleaning any remains of the component she just discarded.
Levi looked at her, his gaze held a mixture of concern and doubt as (y/n) tried to shrug off his question with the usual "I'm alright" line she uses.
"You're clearly not alright, I'm not blind (y/n) and I'm certainly not dumb." Levi said his voice still held the same concern but with a bit of sterness this time as he made sure to dig deeper into this matter.
"Captain... I..." (y/n) tried to speak but to no avail as she knew she was cornered at this rate and that eventually he'll find out sooner or later, heck she won't be able to hide this for the next few weeks once she starts to show.
Levi scanned her expressions, she was easy to read, Levi knew (y/n) well, she was an open book to him.
"You're carrying, are you not?" Levi asked her, his voice held a bit of hesitation but with certain firmness lacing it as he tried to delve deeper in this matter.
(y/n) just stared at him, her eyes were still a bit puffy due to the tears she shed earlier while threwing up. She did not mutter a single word which was already a dead giveway to Levi's lingering question.
Levi sighs, he knew the situation was not even close to ideal, hell it was very complicated at this rate since the life inside her was a result of him seeking for Hange's warmth and trying to find any bit of what he can recieve from (y/n).
(y/n) just stares at the floor her thoughts still spiraling from the endless loop of thoughts about the baby she was carrying, about her relationship with Levi and about Levi's love for Hange.
Levi's orbs also reflected the same, it carried a lot of emotions, mostly confusion on how to feel about this.
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A few more weeks had passed, Levi decided to do his best in terms of looking after (y/n) although they haven't discussed her pregnancy as much as an ideal expecting loving couple would do, he did try his best to keep his eye on her to make sure she was doing alright.
(y/n)'s heart was also at the verge of drowning from the weight its carrying. She felt lost, alone, and despite not wanting to admit it, she did crave for Levi's affection, support, and Love.
Both (y/n) and Levi grew up with no proper father and mother figure after their parents passed. Levi grew up at the underground and his mother Kuchel died when he was younger, leaving him with his uncle Kenny who also left him after teaching Levi how to fend for himself. (y/n) on the other hand was also left to fend for herself eversince she was young, as she had lost her parents at a young age. All she ever wanted was to give the baby she was carrying the life they truly deserved, a life better than what she and Levi had when they were younger.
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One Afternoon, (y/n) was washing the porcelain teacups and teapot after she prepared tea for her and Levi just like their usual routine, even though she was pregnant with their little one, she still kept his word to take care of Levi until he fully recovered, not wanting to leave his side despite knowing that his heart belongs to someone else.
After washing two porcelain teacups (y/n) stared at a specific one, a pearly white with blueish hue teacup that had a dainty pattern of small pink flowers, a teacup that held a lot of memory for the former Captain, It was Hange's favorite cup that she would always borrow from Levi when the squad or the superiors had their meetings, it was a cup that held a lot of memories and meanings to him, thats why until now, he made it clear that he wants to use that teacup despite the almost dozen of different pearly colored ones at their kitchen cabinet.
(y/n) gently placed the teacups and teapot at their kitchen counter, though what she didn't notice was their sink was somewhat broken as a small puddle of water from the calming flow from the faucet had already made its way at their kitchen floor making it wet and slippery.
(y/n) almost slipped at the floor, fortunately she managed to hold onto the kitchen counter but it had its price, as Hange's favorite pearly white teacup with blueish hue hit their cold kitchen floor.
Levi immediately came down the stairs from their shared bedroom, after hearing the loud thud, Levi stood there, his gaze not leaving the large chunks of porcelain at the floor that held the memories of the woman he holds in his heart dearly.
(y/n)'s orbs met Levi's gray orbs that also had a blueish hue to it, It held a lot of emotions that she was unable to read, if she was being honest she saw hate, anger, disappointement and sorrow.
"Le-Levi it was an accident... I..." (y/n) tried to explain but Levi cuts her off.
"Save it, I don't want to hear it (y/n)." Levi responds, trying to keep his tone in monotone, despite his anger visibly flaring up.
"Levi... I... I'm sorry... I almost slipped and I reached onto the counter and I... I didn't realize that I accidentally knocked off Hange's favorite cup..." (y/n) tried to explain, her voice was shaking as she was at the verge of tearing up in front of him, she knew the importance of the cup, Hange was a dear friend to her, Erwin and Levi.
(y/n) also knew how much she meant to Levi and how he always tries to find the reminders of her in the small little things that she left behind just like the now shattered pieces of porcelain at kitchen floor.
Levi looked at her, although he was hard to read (y/n) knew he despises her for what happened.
"Levi... please... please listen to me..." (y/n) said softly as she gently tugged the sleeves of Levi's white polo shirt.
"Do you even know how much that teacup means to me (y/n)?" Levi responded to her, his tone laced with anger which he hardly tried to supress.
(y/n) maintained eye contact with Levi, she prepared herself for the words that he might bombard at her, she knew she messed up badly and it was something she cannot fully mend.
"You know what (y/n), I don't know if you're just incompetent or stupid but, how can you expect someone like you who can't even take care of a fragile little teacup to take care of a damn little baby?" Levi asked her, his gaze piercing her.
It hurt, hearing Levi said that made (y/n) feel that she was not qualified, she was not enough to fill the void that Hange left and she accepted it, she was the one looking after Levi and giving him the care and attention he needed, but at the end of the day those words would slip from his mouth.
Levi's words impacted (y/n) a lot, which he never really intended. He was at the verge of anger and his mind was clouding his judgement and choice of words.
After glancing at (y/n) one final time he went back upstairs to their shared bedroom with his cane.
Immediately, (y/n) kneeled down the floor picking up the big chunks of shard, despite her hands getting small cuts and bruises from the former teacup, she did her best to pick up each and every piece delicately, she then placed it on top of the table as she searched their house for a hot glue gun, she knew it was dumb to try and fix something that was already shattered, but for all that mattered to (y/n) was Levi's happiness, even if it meant his forgiveness was uncertain.
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Levi's mind started to go back to his memories with Hange,
"Oi, four eyes, don't you dare touch my teacup again. You have your own." Levi said with his usual tone.
"Levi, stop being such a hot tempered Captain, if you continue to be like that you might scare all the cadets away." Hange responded with her usual cheery tone.
Hange was a contrast to Levi's cold attitude, and Levi admired that about her.
Levi remembered that Hange loves that teacup thats why he really did cherish it.
His mind then went back to the sight of (y/n) earlier, the way she was shaking and at the verge of tears from what happened. Levi knew that (y/n) would never do that on purpose, he knew (y/n) for a long time now, as she was also a close friend of his for a long time already and one of the most skilled scout in his former squad, she proved herself to him a lot of times already, especially now that she decided to stay behind and to look after him while he was recovering. Levi believes her when she told him she almost slipped at the floor and she accidentally knocked off the teacup, but his anger got the best of him.
Levi sighed as he made his way to the door grabbing his cane to check up on (y/n) he knew that she was in a fragile state due to her pregnancy, and he knew he had gone to far from the hurtful words he said to her.
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Quiet sobs were heard at the living room as (y/n) placed the last chunk of porcelain shard at the broken teacup, she managed to put everything back in place, it was back to how it is supposed to look like despite the cracks which were marks that it was already damaged, that it was already broken.
"You know what (y/n), I don't know if you're just incompetent or stupid but, how can you expect someone like you who can't even take care of a fragile little teacup to take care of a damn little baby?"
Levi's words from earlier continued to linger in (y/n)'s mind making her question if she was really capable of taking care of their little one which further added to her overwhelming emotions and anxiety.
(y/n) was still crying silently, trying to silence the quiet sobs she was unable to hold back, she really did care about Levi, she really did love him, even though his heart belonged to another.
(y/n) stared at the cup, her thoughts overwhelming her with emotions. She tried her best to make Levi happy, from cleaning their tiny house the way he wants it to be spotless, the way she tried to learn and cook the dishes that Levi loved, To dedicating her life into staying at Marley to tend to him while he recovers, and the way she tried to push her own happiness aside, she always tried her best to understand him. She was always there for him when he wanted to talk about Hange, when he was lost after the war.
She even came as far as making love with him to give him the comfort and warmth he needed, which resulted to their now growing baby in her womb.
Even if it did hurt her knowing that Levi will never see her the same way he did with Hange.
(y/n) heard foosteps from the stairs, breaking her from her thoughts, she then turned to see Levi, who was walking slowly with the help of his cane as he approaches her.
Levi saw the teacup, he then glances at (y/n)'s hands noticing the scratches, some are even covered with a bit of crimson colored blood, he also glanced at her face, her eyes were red and puffy from crying for a few hours now.
Levi made his way to their cabinet at the living room to grab a small box, it was a first aid kit, he then settles it at the table as he takes a sit next to (y/n).
Levi gently grabs (y/n)'s hands as he gently applied an ointment to it, disinfecting it, he then made sure to delicately wrap her hands with a clean bandage.
Levi saw how (y/n) didn't mind getting hurt, and that she disregarded the wounds at her hands for the sake of putting the teacup back in place, and this had an impact on him, he then started to look back to everything, her sacrifices to take care of him, and her willingness to carry their little one despite their unclear and complicated relationship.
(y/n) was still avoiding Levi's gaze but she managed to speak out a few words before being unable to control her tears again.
"I'm really sorry Levi... I really didn't mean to..." (y/n) said as tears started to fall down her cheeks.
"Shhh..." Levi gently wraps his arms around her small frame.
"I'm sorry (y/n) I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, instead of getting mad about the teacup breaking, I should've checked on you... to make sure you and our little one aren't hurt." Levi said to her with a soothing and comforting voice as he gently strokes her hair trying to calm her down from crying, which was honestly quite foreign, it was a softer side of him, (y/n) knew Levi had this side, but it was her first time to actually feel and experience it, this side of him was more understanding, caring and affectionate.
"I should've been more emotionally and physically available for you, I should be the one supporting you throughout your pregnancy. You have always taken care of me (y/n), and I hope this time maybe I can still make it up to you." Levi said his voice still laced with the softness and affection his eyes also glistening a bit from the tears he is holding back.
"Levi..." (y/n) called out to him as she continued to embrace him, not wanting to let go of his warmth.
"I give you my word (y/n) from now on we will both try to make this work, alright?"
Levi asked her, it was honestly more of like a statement since even if she did say no, he will forbid it.
"I want to give our little one a happy and loving family they deserve... I also want you to recieve the love you deserve (y/n)."
Levi slightly pulled away his orbs locking to
(y/n)'s glistening once.
They both gave each other a nod, it was like a pact to do their best for their baby to have the family they deserve, and to also open their hearts for love since after everything they've been through, they still have each other and maybe one day the void in Levi's heart will slowly be filled.
Levi glanced at the teacup although it was shattered, it was broken, it was still standing, it was still stable. Its pearly white color mixed with its blueish hue illuminating from the reflection of the moonlight through their window.
The teacup that once reminded him of Hange, now also reminded him of (y/n) in terms of how she did her best to pull herself together despite being hurt, despite being broken, despite everything they've been through. She was a strong woman and a capable mother for their little one.
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Eversince that day, Levi opened his heart for
(y/n) although Hange still had a piece of his heart, he was slowly starting to get better in accepting the love his pregnant partner was now giving him.
As time went on Levi continued to feel his once shattered heart and its once unfixable void, swell with love from his new family, (y/n) and their little one.
"I love you (y/n)..." Levi whispered to her ear while tucking a few strands of hair falling at her face, as she fell asleep leaning on his shoulder.
(y/n) slowly opened her already tired and heavy eyelids meeting Levi's gray orbs glancing at her with genuine love and affection as both their hands were now resting at her swollen belly as they feel their little baby girl kicking inside her womb.
"I Love you too Levi... thank you for loving me and our Little one." (y/n) said gently as Levi leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss at her forehead.
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Writing this honestly made me tear up, but I hope you all enjoyed this fic ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১♡
Edited: I just proofread this morning since I published it late midnight a few hours ago, I fixed a few errors and edited a few words used,
Let me know if you are interested in a mini sequel incase, thank you again for your time, ♡
- Cinna
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