#zosan script

[swirlymarimo]

Sanji: *hyper focused on picking out the best fruits*

Zoro: *quielty walks up beside him*

Sanji: *handing Zoro his bag*

Zoro: *takes it*

Sanji: *looks up at Zoro and smiles*

Zoro: *heart flutters*

Sanji: Hi darling.

Zoro: Hi pretty cook.

[viscerawizard]

Too lazy and too little time to draw the fancomic that I want to so here, have a script below the cut, it's fairly long but hilarious. post timeskip btw so you don't spoil urself

Sanji: So YEAH I went to gay island for two years and came back knowing how to make hormone soup!!

Sanji: What's it to you?

Nami, Usopp, Franky, Robin: ...

Nami, Usopp, Franky, Robin: 600 berry

[Nami, Usopp, and Franky begrudgingly hand stacks of cash to Robin]

Sanji, processing this: wait what

Usopp: Yeah Nami started a betting pool on how long it would take you to become a lesbian

Sanji, completely red in the face and furious: I- I... I AM NOT A-

Luffy, out of nowhere: Hey Sanji what's a Lez Bean? Does it go better with meat or fish?

Nami, Usopp, Franky, and Robin, currently rolling with laughter:

Sanji, horrified and unable to form a complete sentence:

[cut to Nami, Usopp, Franky, Robin, and Zoro, who didn't take part in the bet, all sitting around on the top deck of the Sunny]

Zoro, looking down at himself contemplatively: Hold on

Zoro, pointing a shit-eating grin directly at Sanji: Yeah, my bust size is large enough. Sanji counts as a lesbian.

Sanji, having recovered his sentence abilites but now doubly red and holding his head in his hands: FUCK NO!! NO!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! FRANKY, WHY ARE YOU SIDING WITH THEM?

Sanji, storming away, to the thunderous laughter of the crew, now including Brook, except for Luffy, who is still confused about the existence of the Lez Bean: Fuck You!! Fuck You!

[later]

Sanji: Y'know. Zoro, I'm almost curious, you do have a very large che-MPH

Zoro, having palmed Sanji's face directly into his bosom and not quite smirking but definitely amused by Sanji who definitely and unmistakably has a nosebleed:

[a bit later]

Chopper: Sanji's just a he/him butch now, is that right?

Robin: yeah

Usopp: I guess

Nami: yeah

Franky: yeah

Usopp: So, wait, what's up with him still being all "ooooOOO I can't hit a LADY I'm so NICE"

Franky: He's probably super-clinging to his masculinity.

Nami, steering the Sunny and nodding:

Brook: And by the sound of it he's clinging to Zoro's too, yohoho~

Usopp, Franky, and Nami, processing the statement:

Nami: FRANKY PLEASE TELL ME THE SUNNY'S SOUNDPROOFED WE KNOW HOW LOUD THEY GET WHEN THEY FIGHT-

Franky: Yeah. But maybe I should do it again just in case.

Usopp: Aw man, I really miss Kaya...

Franky, Brook, and Nami: AND YOU THINK OF THIS NOW OF ALL TIMES???

Chopper, having JUST processed the previous statement: oh. Oh. Uh oh.

Nami: so are we gonna bet who botto-

Franky, Brook, Robin, and Usopp: yeah

[skatingbi]

So...One piece Fighter Pilot au loosely inspired by top gun and top gun maverick bc i have a problem...

Sanji and zoro are the main focus in this, they just meet at the top gun program.

just saw this scene as i was writing this in maverick n had to write oml:

Sanji: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???

Zoro: I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE FYM??

Sanji: AND I SAVED YOURS THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT YOU SHOULD BE IN THE FUCKIN CARRIER BY NOW

ZORO: WELL YOURE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME DONT THINK JUST DO CURLS!!!

Sanji: Oh my god youre fucking stupid fucking moss for brains fuck you

Sanji and zoro literally cant stand each other at the beginning, esp since Sanji has been training to be a pilot since he was a teen by zeff. Zoro on the other hand originally has only ground combat experience before transferring to be a pilot. Tl;DR: zoro is the rookie here lmao

So, zoro as nav and sanji as pilot. This shit is surprisingly like the davy back fight where sanji goes "hey mossy give me 10 seconds" and zoro just replies "aight bet" and suddenly theyre a literal power duo. This is them in an exercise w luffy:

Zoro: luffy is 5 miles to your 6 approaching in about 30 seconds

Sanji: copy *pulls the throttle and cranks a sharp left*

Zoro: Now at our 3, gaining speed and approaching in 10.

Sanji: hold on, mossy *repositions parallel to surface before pulling the stick towards him to gain a height advantage against luffy, it makes them jostle around for a good few seconds*

Zoro: SHIT warn a guy will ya?!

Sanji: hah, didnt take you to be a backseat driver, moss

Luffy cannot reach them atm and is attempting to gain altitude so sanji only needed to go similarly fast enough to what hes used to for a second before pulling back and forcing luffy into a situation to pull a wingline overshoot, making luffy be in front of sanji.

Sanji: target neutralized

Zoro: well goddamn, cook, did they teach you to fly at the speed of fuckin sound in the north blue?

Sanji: HA no but im sure they taught you to overshoot a lot in the east blue

then once they return to the carrier they bicker like teenagers...which they are in this series ig since i think they'd be 19-22 in this. Probably 21 though.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I remember I followed you since 2016 or 2017 something.... or maybe even earlier...

At that time, your ZoSan content caught my attention. I can't believe 6-7 years have passed.

Oh god. That was when I was still a lil bby undergrad 😭 bizarrely, I think abt zosan maybe more consistently than any other ship but I don't watch one piece so they've just gone so far off script that I feel like im not allowed to draw them.

[summerotaku]

Challenge: Post something from your oldest, unpublished WIP (who knows you might get the inspiration to continue)

I wasn’t tagged, but this looked like fun. This isn’t the oldest thing but it’s one of the oldest on my phone thanks to Penzu journal it’s the oldest I have avail on mobile I believe circa 2010 when I was working on a 3rd set of @dixxymouri 23 Pieces Drabble collection thing aiming to do an entire ZoSan high school au. I believe this was for the theme Infirm.

—////———

“So, What are you in for today?”

Sanji looked across the infirmary at his green haired classmate with a snort. It had sounded a bit too much like prison dialog from some old movie but he supposed that was fitting enough considering Nurse Doctorine’s willingness to tie her injured students to the schools infirmary cots and his current craving for a forbidden (on school grounds) cigarette.

"For some shitty reason they think I'm in need of medical attention."

That took Zoro by surprise. Usually these exchanges were almost bragging and if anyone was going to use the 'I don't know why I'm here.' shpeil it was Zoro, and those were in just dire circumstances.

"Right." He said in disbelief. Picking up Sanji's line from the script they normally would follow.

The door slammed open and the normally tough and fearless boys flinched as the terrifying outline of Doctorine stood in the doorway. For a second it looked like Sanji was going to bolt but then she was on him, holding his head firmly planted in the cot so only the blond fringe covered eye was showing.

"CURTAIN! CURTAIN!" Sanji screeched in a near panic. Instead Doctorine indicated Zoro should come closer with a tilt of her head.

"Nothing doing. You foolish youngsters need to see what comes of your rough housing since I don't seem to be getting through to you."

"Dammit! The marimo didn't do this! Like I'd let him get close enough! The damn long nose hit a fly ball right to my blindspot in gym!"

But it was too late and the woman had swept the hair away to reveal a blue, obviously fake, glass eye. Correction, A broken, partially shattered glass eye. There were shards of thick glass spearing through the blonds eyelid and eyebrow. The main ball seemed set unnaturally back.

"Shit." Zoro fumbled. Not only was Sanji blind in that eye but the injury looked really bad.

The blood drained from Sanji's face.

"Is...is it that bad?"

"Yeah. If they had known about this they'd have taken you to the hospital, what if one of these shards had pierced your brain?"

So he was basically okay then Zoro figured and let out a relieved breath.

[swirlymarimo]

Zoro (40): *looking at Sanji while he smokes against the edge of the ship*

Sanji (40): *exhales smoke* You're staring.

Zoro (40): Are you getting hotter?

Sanji (40): *laughs* No, I'm getting old.

Zoro (40): And hot.

Sanji (40): *rest his chin on his palm and stares at Zoro* You're not too bad looking yourself.

[swirlymarimo]

Zoro: *fighting King*

Zoro's snail: *budupnudupbudupu*

Zoro: Since when did I have a snail? It's Curly.

King: *attacking*

Zoro: Dude can you stop for a minute, my husbands calling.

King: Oh, uh, sure.

[swirlymarimo]

Usopp: What do you think you'll do when our adventure is over?

Zoro: *Looks at Sanji* Whatever Curly decides to do.

Usopp: You don't want anything specific?

Zoro: Not really. As long as we're together I don't really care where we go or what we do.

Usopp: I mean sure but isn't there anything you want?

Zoro: *thinking* ....kids maybe. One day.

Usopp: *shocked* You want to he a father!?

Zoro: Why not? I might not be half bad at it. And I'd have someone to teach swordsmanship to.

Sanji: So you think I'll just let you put dangerous swords in our precious childrens hands??

Zoro: *jumps* Sanji! *blushes*

Sanji: *smirks* So the big softie wants a family?

Zoro: *blushing*

[swirlymarimo]

Sanji: *shivering* It's so cold.

Zoro: *Jacket open, unbothered* It's not so bad.

Sanji: Drop the tough guy act, I know you're cold too.

Zoro: *opening coat further* Let's warm up then.

Sanji: *clings to Zoro*

Zoro: *wraps coat around Sanji* You know if this is what you wanted, you could have just said so.

Sanji: I didn't want this.

Zoro: Get out then.

Sanji: *snuggling further* No.

[swirlymarimo]

Swordsman: *pointing sword at Sanji*

Sanji: *unimpressed*

Zoro: *pressing his sword against the enemy's neck* I don't think it's a good idea to point your blade at my husband. Do you?

Swordsman: *fearful* I would agree. *slowly lowers his sword*

Zoro: Good choice.

Sanji: I could have handled myself just fine.

Zoro: I know. I didn't like seeing someone else point a sword at you.

Sanji: Of the things to feel jealous about, that's what you choose?

[swirlymarimo]

Zoro: You know, I thought you were just talking big all these years

Sanji: ..but?

Zoro: You're actually a freak in the sheets.

Sanji: *laughs* Don't say it like that.

Zoro: You're a dirty little pervert then.

Sanji: *annoyed*

[swirlymarimo]

Sanji: *running up to Zoro* Quick, I don't have time to explain. Kiss me!

Zoro: Kiss you?

Sanji: Yes! Hurry up!

Zoro: *grabs Sanji by the tie and slowly pulls him in for a kiss*

Sanji: *kisses back*

Some random guy: *sees them* I guess he wasn't lying afterall.

Other men: Time to move on then. We'll find someone else.

Zoro: *still tenderly kissing Sanji*

Sanji: *melting into it*

Zoro: *pulls away* Good enough?

Sanji: *dreamy look* ...perfect.

Zoro: So what was that about then?

Sanji: Hm? Oh! I was being chased.

Zoro: ...is that all?

Sanji: Not entirely. Apparently on this island they have a festival where they round up any single people in town and make them play a match making game of some sort. It all basically ends with an arranged relationship.

Zoro: And why were they after you then?

Sanji: I may have been turning up the charm to get some discounts at the local market....

Zoro: They saw you flirting.

Sanji: Yes. Don't be jealous. I told them I was already married but they didn't believe me, so I ran. Then later they saw me again and you were conviently lost nearby.

Zoro: I wasn't lost.

Sanji: Whatever you say darling.

[swirlymarimo]

Zoro: Sanji, baby. Look at me. I know youre you're still in there *tearing up*

Sanji: *glaring at Zoro* Don't try to act like you know me. I'm not one of you pathetic pirates.

Zoro: Please, I need you to remember. Remember anything. It doesn't have to be me. Our captain, Nami and Robin, the Baratie, Zeff, the all blue. Just remember something.

Sanji: *struggling* Those things, aren't my memories they're his. Im not- no. I know those names. That place. NO! Those aren't mine!

Zoro: *angry* Fight it harder you idiot! Fight it Curly cook!

Sanji: *struggling more* .... I don't want this! But, I have to-. I can't!

Zoro: *kisses him*

Sanji: *doesn't kiss back*

Zoro: please. We need you. I need you.

Sanji: *crying* ...zoro. I'm losing to it. You have to do it. You promised.

Zoro: No, you're not losing! We might be able to fix this. Just hang on for a little while okay? Chopper is working on it.

Sanji: *getting angry again* COWARD!

Zoro: ....maybe. *turning his sword to the blunt side* I love you. *knocks Sanji out*

[swirlymarimo]

Sanji: *absolutely covered in lipstick marks*

Usopp: Had a good time in town did you?

Sanji: I haven't left the ship. I had watch today.

Usopp: Well I know for sure Nami didn't do that and I doubt Robin would either. Did you sneak a lady on the ship?

Sanji: No, of course not.

Usopp: Then who the hell did that?

Sanji: *confused* Did what?

Usopp: The lipstick! It's all over!

Sanji: Oh. Did that stuff stain? *wipes at his cheek*

Usopp: *frustrated*

Zoro: *walking by with much darker lips than usual*

Usopp: Oh I see. You weren't even watching the ship were you?

[swirlymarimo]

Zoro: *drunk somehow* oi, Nami, who's that?

Nami: *also drunk* Which one?

Zoro: The hot one obviously.

Nami: That's Sanji kun.

Zoro: He's gorgeous. I wonder if he's single.

Nami: No, I think he's married.

Zoro: *cries*

Nami: Aw! Zoro don't be sad!

Sanji: Alright you two, you've had enough.

Zoro: *heartbroken look*

Nami: Get away from him you heart breaker!

Usopp: Nami, come on I found a whole pile treasure back by the ship.

Nami: Show me! Hurry! *drags Usopp away*

Sanji: What's wrong honey? I didn't take you as a sad drunk.

Zoro: You're married.

Sanji: *laughs* Yes, I am but theres no reason for you to be upset.

Zoro: Why the hell not?

Sanji: Because I'm married to you, you idiot.

Zoro: I knew I'd get you one day.

Sanji: Come on you need to get some sleep. And maybe see Chopper. You've clearly had some strong stuff.

[swirlymarimo]

Zoro: *watching Sanji cook*

Sanji: You're quieter than usual today.

Zoro: And you're still complaining somehow.

Sanji: I'm not complaining. It's more suspicious. *actually worried about Zoro*

Zoro: I haven't moved. What could I possibly be up to?

Sanji: Plotting your next liquor raid.

Zoro: Cook, I took one bottle yesterday.

Sanji: Took. See, that's not asking, is it mossy?

Zoro: Cook?

Sanji: *turns to look at Zoro*

Zoro: Can I have a bottle of sake?

Sanji: *smiles* Nope.

Zoro: *fond smile* See? I have to fend for myself.

Sanji: Why are you looking at me like that?

Zoro: *instant blush* Cause your stupid eyebrows are amusing.

Sanji: Tch. You're one to talk! Just look at that dumb hair.

-outside-

Usopp: *eavesdroping through the window*

*disappointed sigh*

Nami: Are you listening to their almost flirting again?

Usopp: They are definitely flirting officially, just in their own weird as hell way.

Nami: I've never seen two people fail to court each other for this long before.