#~~but still gross bruh take a fuckin SHOWER~~

[deet-doot]

.

[whatheoncedid]

“Hey can you smell this? Do I absolutely NEED to take a shower? You know I fucking hate showers. Water blasting you in the morning. Soap making you all fuckin itchy after… sniff it let me know.” I turned from the sink to see him standing their holding one foot up. “Pete. You’re disgusting. I can smell you from here you animal. You smell salty as fuck, how can you not know?” I said. I was fixing my hair trying to get it to cooperate. “Well that’s just like my regular smell! C’mon! Is it bad enough that I need to shower, because basically no one would even know once my shoes and clothes are on right?” He asked. He was still perched awkwardly. Since I had realized I was obsessed with him I had tried my best not to look at him. I moved in with a straight guy to avoid catching feelings. Now I was head over heels. Desperate for the feeling to pass. Now with him there in a towel, scent filling the room. I was about to scream or blast a load in my work pants. “Pete fuck OFF. You reek everyone talks shit about it, just not to your face— because well, most of you is muscle. Anyway, take a shower, don’t take a shower. It will surprise no one when you smell like a locker room full of cum socks. We ALL expect it, ok it’s a thing. Hear it from your gay friend cause no one else is telling you. Now get out! I gotta get ready for work and I don’t want your…musk, settling on me. OUT.” I said sharply. He slowly put his foot down. He stared at me. He lunged at me and pinned me into the wall. “What the FUCK is your problem?!” He growled. “Pete— I gotta go to work, and it’s early” I was in shock and fumbling for words. “Talk your shit but don’t you EVER be cold with me. ME. Dismissing me like I’m fucking nobody?! Lately you won’t even look me in my fucking eyes dude. Avoiding me. Treating me like a rando. So again what is your fucking problem?!” He was speaking in a voice I didn’t recognize. His expression was one I hadn’t seen. I was at a loss. “Peter—I’m, it’s just” my brain decided to quit. “You know what I think the problem is?” With a quick twist of his hand his towel dropped to the ground. “You fucking want me bro. You crushin on the man of the house? Tryna save face bruh?” His face slowly changed back to the handsome jokester I knew…and loved. “Jesus Christ. I hope you’re not playing a prank on me.” I whispered. He grabbed my hand and wrapped it around his hard on. “Does that feel like a prank to you?” He asked. He was warm, hard, and sticky from sweat. I felt my knees buckle. “Now… I seem to remember asking you to sniff some things? You ready? We’re gonna have some fuuuun bro!” He said lifting his arm. “Uhm—don’t call me bro. Gross.” I said snickering. “Ho-Ho-hooo really? You know you’re gonna pay for that right?” He mashed his sweaty pit in my face. My body went limp as I kept on jacking him. “Thaaaaaat’s it, let it get all over your face…and don’t worry, from now on I’ll call you bitch.”

[undermattsun-archive]

Bruh i see atsumu bustin in through the window, mad about getting in a fight, pushing you face down in the bed to fuck his frustrations out while all sweaty and gross. Cums inside you and just take off his shirt after while leaving on his grimy pants, refusing to shower and taking up too much space on your bed when you come back. Makes your bed smell like cigarettes. Wants to smooch but pretends it didn't happen come morning while he eats your cereal cuz he's A BUTTHOLE. Still has not showered.

fuck i had to take a deep breath after reading this fuckin PHEW

skate rat tsumu sleep in my bed in ur dirty dickies after completely disrespecting me challenge🥰👉🏼👈🏼

he rlly is that mf tho who eats all ur food n uses all ur resources,, when he finally does shower he uses ALL the hot water somehow manages to use all ur body wash and then doesn’t use a towel? just drips all over the damn place n flops in ur bed all wet tellin u to come suck his dick dry (sir? make it make SENSE)

[ronaldreghan]

1-104

bruh

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

well that would be dani and i would be very confused. “why was i naked?” i would ask. i have no reason to be naked around dani. or anyone, for that matter.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

well i found out he was a trump supporter (rip) so i deleted him from everything. i still feel gross and its been almost 6 months.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

honestly depends on the drug. weed? i dont care. shrooms/lsd/acid? id be a little iffy, but i ultimately wouldnt care. heroin/cocaine/opiods? id immediately try to help them get help.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

ya its 7 lol

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober (unfortunately)

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

no? i dont think so

7. What does your last received text say?

“i like that color”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

idk we made out for like twenty minutes because i was too chicken to say “hey you were fun for ten minutes but id really rather be with my friends”

9. Where was your last kiss at?

some shitty halloween rave

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i dont have a sister lol

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed? where else am i gonna sleep? the dumpster behind my dorm? a clown car?

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

yeah. its constant work, but it shouldnt be annoying work, you know? its work thats hard but you enjoy doing it

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

ya i wouldnt spend so much money lol

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

YES GET ME OUT OF THERE AWAY FROM TRUMP BOY

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy!!!

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

nope

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

wish i fuckin knew. probably not.

20. Does anyone like you?

no i dont think so.

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nope

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

fuck no

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

the boy i last kissed

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

i already have one lmao

25. In the past week have you cried?

yeah i cried in the airport because i had to call my mom because i didnt have enough money for the uber home and i was freaking the fuck out

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

i dont know! but he was littleand cute and i love him

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no all the football players i knew in high school were gross, and my current school doesnt have a football team

29. Do you think you’re old?

im not 20 yet so no

30. Do you like text messaging?

yes! i love texting! it makes it so easy to talk to my friends back home and also its so much easier to put things into writing

31. What type of day are you having?

eh, its ok. i met with my schools career service center and we talked about what i have to do to get my dream job, and also an actual job.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

yeah, but i cant do piercings.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

WARM

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

my dad! even though he annoys me sometimes hes still my dad and i love him a lot

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

a fling. i dont have the time, money, or desire for an actual Relationship rn

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

id like to think simple, but i also know that my logic doesnt always make sense to other people, which can make me seem complicated so *shrug* idk

37. What song are you listening to?

im listening to the sabres/sharks broadcast sooooo

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

usually39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

dani, anishka, brooke40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

well he plays for the sabres and hes super cute and i love him hes softe. he doesnt know i exist because why would he but i lov him.41. When did you last receive a text message?

well since i wrote the beginning of this post i have received two (2) texts, the most recent of which was 3 minutes ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

I NEED MONEY. I HAVE $6 IN MY BANK ACCOUNT AND I HAVE $100 IN FRATERNITY DUES AT THE END OF THE MONTH.43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

dani is one of my best friends lol44. Does anyone disgust you?

myself, mostly. but like, ACTUAL disgust? anyone who is alt-right.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

probably not46. Are you in a good mood right now?

relatively, yeah47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my roommates48. What color shirt are you wearing?

its a black parade mcr shirt...................49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah, that im poor lol50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

myself51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

yeah, i honestly hate him so much hahaha but yet were still facebook friends so 

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

the buffalo sabres53. Do you like rain?

yes!!! i love rain so much!!! especially thunderstorms!!!! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

no55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

all the time in high school. i knew they didnt like me back, so pair that with crippling shyness and nothing ever happened.56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES. CUDDLE ME.57. Are you shy?

GOD YES. i Cannot talk to new people. 58. Do you get along with girls?

i gotta. us women gotta stick together.59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

yeah dani and i dated for like almost 3 months lol 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone. i always, always have my phone with me. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

oh fuck yeah. i love ghosts gimme some ghost love. 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

eh. sure, lets say yeah. 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

nope, but i wanted one. and now i am Here, single, bitter. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

OH MY GODDDDDD FOREHEAD KISSES KILL ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ALSO TEMPLE KISSES GOD I AM SO WEAK FOR THOSE65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

yeah, i surprised brooke and dani and they both screamed which was probably cute, but mostly made me warm inside.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

uh 19/20, 18, and 16 (at the time)

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? 

id do them myself lol i dont fucking care.   68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

...zebra?

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

no but i want some70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

lil wayne, i dont fuck my cousins.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iphone bith!!!72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

like two-ish weeks ago?73. Do you like diet soda?    

yeah i like diet coke more than regular coke? idk it tastes better74. What color are the walls in your room?    

here theyre an ugly beige, back home theyre sabres blue and gold (i was in seventh grade ok bye)75. Are you 16 or older?    

ya im 19 now76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

nope.77. Do you have a job?    

not yet, but i applied for a ton! please send positive thoughts my way that i get one!!!  78. What are your initials?    

MMR79. Did you ever have braces?    

yeah, for two and a half years :/80. Are you from the south?    

do i fuck my cousins?

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

my most recent activity was me sharing the article about harrison browne retiring, but my most recent original activity says “ED SHEERAN IS COMING TO BUFFALO THIS IS NOT A DRILL”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

nope. he re-followed me on twitter in november tho lol83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

probably my mom, but it used to be the other way around.84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

no but i wanted to so bad when i was younger!!!85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

the lego batman movie lol86. Do you smoke?    

nope. both of my parents smoked cigarettes and i dont fuck with that. as for weed (which i assume this is actually referring to), i smoked it once over the summer,but i dont really want to again? idk i just have no burning desire to get high.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

flip flops.88. Is your phone touch screen?    

ya89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

my hair is limp bitch90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

yeah lol once i snuck out at 1 in the morning to go to noco and buy chocolate milk it was an Adventure91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

pool. im not about to get some fucking parasite in my vagina, which would happen to me with my shitty luck.92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

ye93. …Had sex in a car?    

no, im a version94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

single95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

what WAS i doing last night at midnight, thats actually a good question.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

uh new years. in person? fourth of july i think.97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yeah. i mostly take my picture through snapchat so98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

I FUCKING WISH99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

no but ive thrown up.............100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

a few101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

bitch do i look like im stickin dicks in my hoo ha102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

her cover of true colors? iconic, show stopping, brilliant, amazing, never been done before103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

yes! its amazing bc that never happens104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

FUCK. NO.