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thank you for tagging me again hehe :)) this is such a cool idea

t - the river - bruce springsteen c - chimacum rain - linda perhacs

f - fight for your right - beastie boys r - royal beggars - architects o - on my own - les misérables (specifically the lea salonga 10th anniversary concert version i am obsessed with that one) g - good luck, babe! - chapell roan

rules: pick a song for every letter of your url and tag that many people.

tagged by: @janaispunk, thank you for tagging me jana! <3

s: symptom of life by willow h: hertz by amyl and the sniffers e: echolalia by faetooth l: l'amour looks something like you by kate bush l: leikara ljóð by susanne sundfør s: swim good by frank ocean h: habibi by tamino o: orange by big thief c: cranes in the sky by solange k: kiss by mannequin pussy l: laughing song by black country, new road o: one of these things first by nick drake v: virgo's groove by beyonce e: electricity by joni mitchell

no pressure tags: @dustydaddyyy, @perotovar, @hollandweather, @sweetercalypso, @swiftispunk, @covetyou, @silkscream

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omg i'm so sorry for not seeing this earlier, but thanks for the tag! :)

LAST SONG: waving through a window from dear evan hansen

FAVOURITE COLOUR: brown, black, some variants of green and yellow

CURRENTLY WATCHING: endlessly rewatching gilmore girls

LAST MOVIE: challengers in cinema, so good omg mike faist representing all the theater kids lol

SWEET / SPICY / SAVOURY: sweet and savoury, most spice i can handle is a bit of pepper sadly 😭🥴

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: singleee

CURRENT OBSESSION: f1 help

LAST THING I GOOGLED: if it's possible to temporarily deactivate your tumblr account (sadly not aaaah) i'm tagging everyone who feels like doing this :)

NINE PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

OMG TYSM FOR TAGGING ME @liass-21 !!!!! i am so sorry i drafted this tag and i thought i queue'd it and i didnt so 😭😭😭 its only like a month late. its fine everythings fine. aaaaaa 😭

LAST SONG? - "photograph" by the midnight! it is on my writing-for-top-gun playlist bc it has huge maverick vibes lol.

FAVORITE COLOR? - pink!!!! also lighter purples and blues and most pastel shades <3 and black

CURRENTLY WATCHING? - a streamer i have never watched before playing the remaster of of tomb raider i-iii bc i am excited about the remaster!! and those games are my childhood <3 not to be a million years old or anything sakfhfjfhg

LAST MOVIE? - unfortunately it was 'oz the great and powerful' 😭 if any of y'all enjoyed that movie i respect it, but i had to see it on tv at a friend's house and we were having a great time laughing at the very unexpected writing and acting choices being made lol

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? - aaaaaaaa i guess savory ?????? but sweet has a special place in my heart ajdhfjfhfjg

RELATIONSHIP STATUS? - committed long term relationship to ~my person~ <3<3

CURRENT OBSESSIONS? - well this is gonna be obvious but top gun primarily !!!! additionally, dan and phil !! mission impossible !!! fall out boy!! and even if the current obsession level is not as high as other things, i am always at least partially obsessed with a hundred other things and people that i am probably posting about at the same time lol

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? - “oz the great and powerful reviews” bc i wanted to make sure that im not crazy and that other ppl also felt that movie was an insane fever dream (apparently due to the 44% on metacritic i guess they did lol)😭

tagging: aaaaaa @brambleberrycottage @daffodilstark @tellhound @torchflies @melancholydandelion @goosefilms @driftershunt @downthegenderriver @callsignstingray

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random thought: has anyone else with a tc had a bit of an obsession with max medina from gilmore girls? trying to see something here slkfhgklfhgk in any case, feel free to elaborate in the tags!

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update lol: i've been getting to know/developing feelings for a girl and we found out yesterday J is her german teacher's husband lmaooo

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here it is, my letter to J :) i translated it from my native language so the original vibe and the feeling it conveys is a bit lost maybe, but oh well: Dear Professor,

Thank you very much for the last five years. Even though I've barely joined in the conversation in class and it may not have seemed like it, I have almost always listened attentively and thought along. The lessons have been really enriching and thought-provoking. Your lessons were special and I am glad we had you as a teacher. I have also made a note of some of the books and people you have mentioned over the years and look forward to looking into them and reading about them.

Thank you also for the talk on microsoft teams, it helped me a lot back then to tell someone about my problems.

It is a great pity that the last two months of our classes with you could not take place. But I hope you have recovered well. I'm sure it would have been a few more interesting lessons where we might have talked about the last 5 years.

I would have liked to talk to you for one last time, as I am missing a bit of closure (the opportunity would have been there on Thursday at dinner, but I was not well at all that day and I was also very overwhelmed because of the volume and the many people, so I am sorry that I did not say anything there).

In any case, thank you again for the many very interesting and philosophical lessons. Without your lessons this school wouldn't have been half as exciting, I took a lot from it. Thank you for everything --------- not gonna lie i kinda regret putting in the second to last paragraph bc it seems a bit pushy (i don't actually know the right word rn to convey it right) i feel like i'm also curious whether he (or any of the other teachers) will respond in any way (which might not be possible bc they only know my school mail address and that will be deleted soon)

we'll see :)

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okay sooo i graduated (wtf😭)

and guess who showed up at the dinner with our class afterwards?? yeah, someone invited J and i was totally mentally unprepared for that lmao

and he just so happened to sit kinda across from me bc he showed up last and that was the only place left (and even then, he was pretty much sitting at the corner of the table lmao)

the whole thing put me in a kind of dilemma bc i've been wanting to talk to him for the last time (and i didn't manage to do so in school), but i was so overwhelmed with him randomly showing up and then sitting?? in close proximity?? and him listening to the conversations between my friends and i😭 i was so conscious of what i was saying the whole time🤡 i also made it a point to mention the many books i had at home that i was excited to be reading after graduation for some reason lol actually on second thought it was so loud in the restaurant i barely understood what he was saying sometimes, but oh well.

the whole thing was a bit awkward tho bc my three friends who never had him as a teacher (bc they never attended religion lass) were sitting closer to him than i was so i couldn't really talk to him directly and he had to make conversation with one of my friends.

it was all just kind of a mess tbh and i blew my chance bc at one point two of my friends and I were on the toilet and when we came back, 3 other girls from our class were talking to him and he left to sit with them lmao. 🤡

the rest of the evening our whole class was standing outside in front of the restaurant bc it was a nice and warm evening :) he was talking to a small group of students and i was half-listening some of the time and also half-listening to the other group of students who were talking to our class teacher. my friend and i just kinda awkwardly stood in between the two groups haha

ok but now, this is where it gets kinda interesting bc as everyone was leaving i was standing there, waiting for my dad to pick me up. the whole evening i had the thought "maybe when everyone's left he'll see me waiting alone and offer to wait with me and that would be the perfect chance to talk to him" so he's talking to the last group of people and they're leaving. he knew i was standing there and i was thinking that he'd maybe come back or at least say goodbye or something. but he just went straight to his bike and rode away :( he didn't even look back once lmao

i was pretty disappointed, but i shouldn't have gotten my hopes up haha so that was it, at least the night was pretty and warm so the wait for my dad wasn't all that bad :)

i recently finished writing my letter to him (as well as some letters for other teachers) and i'll post it soon :) (also let me know if u wanna read the letters for the other teachers as well lmao)

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i had my last ever exam in high school today😭 and guess who showed up to watch our classes exams 💀 so sweet of him tho, he said he wanted to support us haha

i'm so glad i was already done when J came to watch bc i would have crumbled under the pressure of someone watching lmao

anyway i'm done?? with school?? i'm graduating in TWO DAYS??? life is crazy man

i'm currently writing my letters to him and other teachers :)

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I don't think it's right of you to tag an "intellectual crush" as a TC. Because this community is more for romantic crushes and not just admiring. Just my two cents. But whatever makes you happy IG

hi, thanks for sharing your opinion :) and sorry it took me so long to answer haha as i mentioned in my introduction post - if people ever have an issue with me using the tc tags or posting in this community in general i'd be okay with deleting my blog. i don't want to offend anyone and i understand that some people might feel like i'm an intruder bc in my case it's not a romantic tc and that's okay! i just want this community to stay a safe space for everyone who needs it and if my blog is part of the problem i can see that and i am sorry. i'm just gonna make a poll to see what the general consensus about this topic of non-romantic tcs is and to look whether the majority wants to see my blog gone :)

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soo i haven't been on here in a hot minute lmao

i was really caught up in a levels, but i passed all my written ones yay (except for maths which i failed, but actually passed in the end - a bit complicated)

as to J, we've never had a last lesson with him unfortunately, he came back the week after we left school :( and i haven't been brave enough to email him about us meeting for a talk yet haha i still have to work up my courage to send a message (i'm really struggling with finding the right words and not making it sound awkward lol)

i actually almost ran into him a few days ago when i was in school for a presentation 💀 i was going up the stairs and he was just passing through the hallway. he didn't see me though and i didn't say anything bc i was really nervous about my presentation

buuut i will be in school a few times due to preparation for my oral exams and who knows, maybe i'll run into him :) i hereby solemnly swear to actually try and talk to him when i see him (big challenge for me haha) we'll see how that goes, i'll keep u updated 🤠✌🏻

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april tc challenge day 30

How have they changed since you two first met? How have you changed?

over the course of the pandemic, i feel like J got a bit more serious and lost some of that strong lightheartedness he used to have in the first two years. he's definitely eased up again, but his class is still not quite as fun as it used to be

i also changed A LOT, just usual teenager stuff. when i look back on myself four years ago i feel like i was such a baby 😭😭 in a few years, when i look back on my current self, i will probably think of myself as a baby too haha

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april tc challenge day 29

Do you see them as being a romantic person? Are you?

i've never thought about it honestly, he also never brings up anything romantic he did with his wife (which is absolutely understandable bc why would u tell your students about dates with your wife pahaha). i don't really think so

personally, i feel like i'm a bit romantic :)

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april tc challenge day 28

Does your TC ever bring you up to other students/teachers that you know of?

not me specifically, but he sometimes tells our class how hes tells other classes about us hehe :)

i do remember one instance, tho - in my first year in this school, we had to get a checkup at the school nurse and she mentioned J telling her about me. if i recall correctly, he'd said to her "i've got this girl in my class who's really quiet and i don't know if it's because she doesn't want to talk or if it's got an external reason" something like that

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april tc challenge day 27

What is the saddest/scariest dream you have had of them?

in my previous post i said i don't think i ever dreamt of J, but i actually remembered something which fits today's question!

the dream wasn't particularly about him, it just happened in his lesson - i dreamt that i fell asleep in class and got woken up by J and the other students and they were all looking at me really mad and he scolded me lksdhglskg falling asleep in class is a really big fear i have haha

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april tc challenge day 26

What is the best dream you have had of them?

such a boring answer, but if i ever had a dream about him, i can't remember it now sadly

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april tc challenge day 25

How do you think your TC would react if you confided in them when you felt sad or stressed or anxious?

i already did that in the past, actually :) as u can read in my various other posts kslghdslgh his reaction was sooo sweet, he asked me how i was feeling and checked up on me a few more times after that

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april tc challenge day 24

When was the last time they made your heart thump?

back when i was anxious in his class💀

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april tc challenge day 23

Have you ever seen your TC in clothes they don’t usually wear? Casual clothes if they usually wear formal attire or the other way around?

hmm no actually, his style is a weird mix of both formal and casual even at school prom i haven't seen him dressed any differently lmaooo