temperamentalmental

[temperamentalmental]

Regret and Inertia

Regret and stagnation

At any one moment an individual can be bitterly haunted by their mistakes but unconscious of the fact except for the hollow, miserable feeling within that followed them. Followed me.

There’s and importance to accept your mistakes. After all they were decisions once. However, they hold no value currently. If my purpose and meaning has shifted greatly from the lack of productivity and foresight that I lived through years ago then I no longer live within those mistakes or continue to contribute to them.

The need for acceptance is great. The need for acknowledgement equal. Reflection is the only tormentor that assesses internal value. But if you forgive that of the past and keep positively contributing to the future it’s easier to forgive. No one lives a life that holds no faults. Equally no one lives a life full of faults.

I have acknowledged time and time again of my stagnation in life. I have acknowledged my past infertile being that married me along with its mistakes. There isn’t a limit, however. There is just the appropriate time. There is never the right time either. Circumstance is as preventative as it is productive.  

Essentially finding meaning in life doesn’t have the measurement of time. You either do or you don’t. Time isn’t a dictator in such personal matters. There’s a narrow demographic of the older age groups that fulfil their inner meaning. I believe the reason for this is that while we have the energy to live and be laborious our attention is brought out of focus towards what really matters.

Currently people live for the world rather than for themselves. There is major importance upon money, status, accomplishment, and a sub-surface level of happiness. There isn’t fault in this and an individual cannot be blamed for such focus. The importance of these aspects is pushed beyond belief and for good reason also. However, they’re pushed to an artificial point where a standard is built and the possibility of all other options become nebulous.

As if wired and shifted towards a single outcome. Work = money,

Money = housing, bills, food, outings, transport and in essence is our survivability capital. Status plays into a far more egotistical and equally spiritual role of self-fulfillment.

Coming back to the past point about actual fulfilment in life and mistakes and the reason why it happens at relative old age. The patterns of life and government people have been fine tuned to dance along within their own rhythm. As if life was qualified as a skill and throughout the age and time spent into it you find that comfort in knowing how to sustain yourself towards your own standards.

This question of self-fulfillment is completely shifted. We look introspectively. We no longer work for the world and base our lives around it. We’ve been through the contrived plantations of living with infrastructure and class and enter the meadows in the end. Having handled life’s burdening judgement and guilt, we recluse inside ourselves for the answer while having the time of patience.

The mistakes that were made throughout life become amplified. On variance whether its unaccomplishment from lack of success or what seems to unsettle most older generations is not living for yourself. Regret is the most common topic of older generations but the topic of careers or employability seems to never touch their lips. It’s the regret of not being more for themselves.

So this artificial podium of importance that of structuring your life and having aspects of your life accomplished and fulfilled and the many mistakes that will come with it is a meagre force.

A force that once given thought to will produce in unsurmountable amount of guilt and shame. And what good is all this shame and guilt if we end up never thinking about it again. Or rather dreading over our own stupidity of being so concerned with it.

It’s far more important to just let go. Let go of the mistakes. They don’t make you or shape you. Their importance to you is the only driving factor that will shape the route of your life granted. But the route and its importance equally will only be reflective of the standard you have built for yourself. That standard is reflective of the world and one that is never easy to attain. And one that usually ends up being dramatically lacklustre.