that-soccer-guru
that-soccer-guru
I shit talk teams and coaches like it's my job 😁
1K posts
Ask me things, I know way too much about this sport | English and Spanish bb 👊🏼
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that-soccer-guru · 11 months ago
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Con permiso, voy a tirarme al metro después de este partido 💔
Tu y yo querido anon.
Colombia continua siendo el causal mas común de mis tusas parce, que dolor.
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that-soccer-guru · 11 months ago
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Parce, cuan diferente juega Colombia cuando el impedido de Marsiglia pone bien al equipo.
"El Impedido" me mata todas las veces que lo usas hahahaha
Pero literal fue otro Colombia. Habia mucha decision, mucha velocidad. Obvio en jugadas falto la velocidad y la fuerza de Mayra pero no le quito agresividad al equipo. La verdad es que Nueva Zelanda se metio al partido por ahi unos 20 minutos y el resto fue Colombia metiendole mucha garra.
Asi es que hay que jugar parce!!!
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that-soccer-guru · 11 months ago
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Nos vendimos todo el primer tiempo, Marsiglia regaló el partido con ese mal planteamiento... El equipo está para grandes cosas; pero, necesitamos salir con el equipo dispuesto al ataque desde el minuto 1 ⚽
Increible que termine extrañando al negado de Abadia. Que horror parce.
Y ahora sin Mayra por severa falta tan pendeja. Encima de que nos roban los arbitros a veces, nosotros felices entregando el otro cachete.
Ojala lleguen con una nueva actitud. Con lo que le paso a Canada tenemos una oportunidad buenisima de pasar a la segunda ronda.
Vamos Colombia, carajo
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that-soccer-guru · 11 months ago
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Como asi que el primer partido de los Olimpicos es Francia!? Carechimba no salimos de una y nos metemos en la otra. Que vida.
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that-soccer-guru · 11 months ago
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Marica, estamos en la final de Copa América 🇨🇴🇨🇴
Y como me duele la tuza emocional hoy parce 😭😭😭😭😭
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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@ Federacion Colombiana de Futbol, I know we're all, like, focused on Copa America. I get it. Me too. But...
Can I see the women's roster for the Olympics pls?
SHOW ME THE MONEY FCF!
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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I'm gonna say it
It's good that the vets aren't on the roster. It's IMPORTANT that players are on the very limited roster because they're putting out their best and not just because they're "leaders".
It's good to say thank you and get going with the business of the uswnt, the actual game.
It's okay that the roster isn't full of people who fought for the rights of the women's team. It's a good sign that they can focus on the game without also focusing on the image. That is the point of trailblazers. It's time for a new set of people to blaze a new path. It's good that they don't have a bench of players who can only play 5min to say they were there. This is good.
This is good.
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Leicy signing to Washington Spirit !!!! ????
I've been waiting to answer this until it was official. That makes 2 Colombians in the league! Can't wait to get to see Leicy closer to home!
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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So if we're keeping score on the wilful fouls after the barrage of cards:
Trinity Rodman who's already carded smacked Linda in the face, tackled Manu Vanegas all legs no ball, and laid down without getting called for delay of game.
Alex Morgan stepping hard on Daniela Arias without even a warning.
Horan barreling over Daniela Montoya.
I'm not saying Colombia is playing cleanly, quite the opposite. We're a crew of hot-headed morons, but a ref letting us eat foul after foul and avoiding carding dirty players because it would be a red card is bullshit.
If it had been Jorelyn or Cata Usme, they'd be red carded and watching from the stands by now.
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Parce, la defensa está dormida
Si estuvieran dormidas no estariamos en estas. Lo que estan es con una falta de afin horrible. Todos 3 goles han sido de unos pases malisimos.
Eso si la que peor ha estado es Daniela Arias. Jorelyn ha tenido unos pases atroces pero ella se lleva el premio de cagarla seriamente.
Quiero ver cambioooooos
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Did the futbol gods hear me about to shit talk the USWNT and decided that the best way to shut me up was HAVING THEM BE OUR QUARTERFINAL HURDLE!?
I was gonna do this for the good of the sport, universe! I don't deserve this.
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Has it been long enough for me to start shitting on the USSF/USWNT/USA or do we still need time to mourn? bc I have opinions
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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This half might be the best Mexico has ever played. Aside from all the yeeting of the ball, this is tactically the best I've ever seen them play. If they can keep playing like this, the sky is the limit.
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Brazil otra vez 😭 cuando será que les ganamos
Todos los Colombianos traumatizados por Brasil deberiamos poder demandar por daños y prejuicios, no joda.
Pero seamos realistas, que partido tan maluco jugamos. Deberian jugar como jugaron con Alemania. No importa quien es el rival, lo que importa es jugar nuestro juego y ya. Eso de tenerle miedo al rival nunca nos beneficia.
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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There aren't enough words to explain how much the Spanish commentary for this cup sucks, jfc
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Parce va a ver los partidos de la W Gold Cup?
Obvio Microbioooo
For everyone who didn't already know, the Women's Gold Cup starts today, and it features 4 CONMEBOL teams including Colombia. Time to cheer for the gals and stress while doing it kids!
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that-soccer-guru · 1 year ago
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Parce, qué orgullo ver a Mayra llegar a la WSL, lo que juega esa muchacha, tiene tres tanques de oxígeno
Paaaarce que pena contigo! Increible lo rapido que se valoro el futbol femenino, hace un par de semanas Mayra era el fichaje mas caro en la historia del deporte, y ya la desbancaron. Me da mucho orgullo y me parece genial que el talento internacional finalmente este siendo reconocido!
Esa pelada la va a romper en Inglaterra, ya es pieza clave en el Chelsea, y eso le va a abrir las puertas a todo el talento en Colombia.
A ponernos a ver la WSL con juicio!!! (seguire siendo fan del Arsenal pero como Mayra, llevo a Colombia en el corazon y no quiero mas que verla gozar y triunfar!)
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