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[the-hornedwitch]

Utinam Ne Illum Numquam Conspexissem

Part Four: No Good no Bad, only consequences.

AN: Again, what I write and talk about is strictly my experience, from my perspective. I know what the books say or do not say, they aren't always right. Take what I say with a grain of salt, or what resonates with you.

As I've stated in previous posts, I started noticing media, posts, and music related to Lucifer. The pagan woman in me, took notice. The girl who believed in magic and the gods got excited. So, I did that little makeshift candle ritual, and like I said prior. He showed up. What I haven't talked about, or tried to in the most convoluted way, is how He lingered.

Due to various things, such as memory and perhaps fear of being called crazy, I've held back. A great deal of it has to do with putting my experiences into words. Most of my life, my spiritual experiences were shunned or waved off. Plus, I often question my own sanity, and do not want to come off as one of those nut cases that sees signs and synchronicities in every little thing. That being said, back to Lucifer.

He lingered, I had dreams (which i've talked about before) I often felt like i was being watched, especially at work. He continued to pop up in my algorithm, friends would bring Him up in conversation, I felt compelled to put His sigil on my car. I got sucked into that silly CW turned Netflix show. I started greeting the dawn for no particular reason, other than The Baphomet Codex had said He liked early morning ritual. Fellow satanists on Instagram shared information on Him, and spoke of rituals they'd done. I was enamored. Then He said Hello and I lost my ever loving shit. Which If You've been following my previous posts, is right where I left off last time.

Yes, He said Hello. Gulp Nah, wishful thinking. Yep.

I honestly can't remember much after that, covid happened, we went into lock down, I still did my rituals, my husband and I started hating each other. It's all a blur. I felt myself slipping back into that unhealthy woman I had been years ago. Lots of arguments and rage occurred. I wanted My husband gone and far away from me. When my husband eventually left, I felt some relief and freedom, but my life became very confusing. I started having break downs. I felt awful, and I slowly started to realize, after discussing a few incidents with outside people, (My Therapist, trusted family, and friends) that I had been in a rather toxic and possibly abusive relationship. The last few years flashed across my third eye, like a PowerPoint presentation. All the red flags I had ignored, all the boundaries I let get crossed, the disrespect I let slide. All the while Lucifer sat in the background, legs propped on a desk, (He likes to present human) clicking away at slides. “You have a listing problem Sweetheart” Click “Gave you plenty of opportunities” Click “Shined My light on the subject” Click “But you don't fucking listen do you, little girl?”

He likes to make His point.

As I worked through the emotions, and consequences of my decisions. I sat in the Void and came face to face with all the parts of myself, I resented and hated. He stayed and listened. Pointed out the things I did not want to hear but did so in the most supportive and loving way. As my soul broke, He held me close. Whispered firm words of understanding and support. There came a point, however my rage surfaced, and I lashed out. Shut myself off from Him and refused to listen. My tantrum was answered with a very hard smack from the cosmic belt.

The thing about Lucifer, that I feel many overlook, or do not understand, is His capability, and talent at intervening with the material and mundane world. As other practitioners will share, our Dark Lords have offices. Lord Lucifer, being a Crowned Prince, has reign over many realms and Offices. Being both a Dark Lord, and Angelic Being, His power is immense and profound. His will is simply that, His. He will enact His will as He sees fit, and when He damn well feels like it. He does not answer to the magician or practitioner, you do not command Him. He is the one in “charge.” And there I was, a simple human, whom He had called priestess, having a five-year-old level tantrum. Because I was mad that my life was falling apart, that I wasn't getting what I wanted, as quickly as I wanted. Boo Hoo.

After one intense emotional break down, followed by a "string of this is so unfair". I was searching for a meditation track to calm down. I believe I had looked up binaural beats, which I had gotten into at the time. As I scrolled, I found something that caught my full attention. A hypnosis track, one with His name in the title. So, Click I went. The voice I was introduced to hit all the right notes. (I have an awful attraction to how men speak.) I soon found the Hypnotists page and Patreon. All geared towards various fantasy, with many BDSM themed tones, coupled with meditation tracks. It is rather delightful. I am very familiar with what hypnosis is and isn't.

After a few days, to a week of actively listening. (I binged ok) My meditations with Lucifer changed. His presence became more prominent, there were a few instances I was touched (Sensually, grabbed, and pushed). Trance became easier and easier to fall into, without the assistance of cannabis or alcohol. There were times I would be in the kitchen listening to music doing dishes, and there'd I go, straight into the ether. stuck between a strange half-awake half asleep, and He'd be there. I awoke at night from extremely erotic dreams that left me wanting. I started questioning my reality again, not sure if it was the Hypnotist or Lucifer. I panicked, was very rude to the Hypnotist for not being able to answer my questions and lost myself in the sauce of psychic awakening.

Brain fried, emotions raw and soul torn open, Lord Lucifer stood over me and patiently asked, if I was "done, and have you learned how to behave?" Our relationship continued in that manner for a while. I was pushed to the edge of the void again, and again. Made to look at all the things I hated about myself. (He truly is amazing at alchemy and transmutation.) I'd go between hypnosis and meditation, going deeper within myself as much as I could. There were a few times I lost myself and broke in ways I didn't know where possible. However, Lucifer was there every step, even when I couldn't “feel” or hear Him.

The word surrender frequented my thoughts, meditations, hypnosis, and social media algorithm. (I try not to trust the algorithm, sometimes though) I approached Lucifer during our morning conference, asking why the word continued to present itself. His answer was like everything else He ever tells me. Double meaning laced with undertones. “You're a smart girl, you'll get it”. Yes, He makes you do the work and assigns the most grueling homework at times.

I eventually figured it out and it took moving from my home in California, to Arizona. It gets better, I moved to Arizona, on a “whim” to a man's house, that I had never met, and only talked to for a few months. Crazy, I know. The thing is this man understood. He knew of Lucifer, He knew Lilith, Sammeal, Hekate, Leviathan, and the other Seventy-two Lords of Hell. In ways I had never known anyone outside of myself. We had a connection, that neither of us could really pinpoint or deny. As life on the Left Hand Path proves to me time and time again, nothing ever works out exactly as you plan. It's the nature of this reality, from chaos comes order, and vice versa. There are lessons to learn, and as I said before, Lucifer loves to make His point.

There are behaviors and choices I tend to make in regard to men. Most are not the best choices, nor the healthiest choices. And while my friend is a rather decent man, our initial concept of our "relationship" wasn't what we had anticipated. Plus, Lucifer likes to make a point, and He did so with both of us. Humbled and shock up my friend in his dreams, while making it very fucking clear, WHOM I "Belonged" to. (A story for another time perhaps)

I broke, I cursed Him, yelled at Him, said I hated Him (No you don't sweetheart) “You are the Devil, and I should have never trusted you” Screamed from my soul more than once. Much like before I was taught yet another lesson in regard to respect and gratitude. This time Asmodeus paid me a visit. Still took me time to work through my frustration and anger. Then it all just clicked, like it often does. I had been searching, yearning for something deep and meaningful. I looked for it, behind doors that lead me to heartache and pain. I went into a lifestyle looking for it, gave sacred parts of myself to men who were not worthy of it. Who couldn't comprehend what I was or offered. “Desire leads to surrender; surrender leads to power” yes i know thank you Jared Leto. I surrendered to Lord Lucifer in ways, ancient Priestess did to their Gods. In the way a submissive surrender to their Dom, “Lucifer take the wheel”. I had done this long before realizing it. In ways I hadn't noticed. Through my rituals, my words, my actions, how I honored Him in meditation, how I approached Him in conference. I instinctively gave into Him, followed, and listened (Still working on it). Gave my mind, body and soul to Him. Promised myself to Him, Devoted myself to Him. (As I type this, I continue to have the neatest little synchronicities through the music I have playing.) All the “bad” things that happened were simply the consequences of my actions, or lack of. Yet at the end of it all He was always there, to pick me up, dust me off and set me back on course. His love can come off as cruel, but Their love is beyond our human understanding.

I hid from the title of Priestess; thought I was undeserving of it. thought I was undeserving of His love, attention, and adoration. As I've sat and gone over my experiences these past five years with Him, as I allowed my thoughts and feelings flow into this writing, I've come to accept this. I may not have a church (I do have a discord) or be some high magician with a grand following. I am His Priestess; I see and Love Him for all that He is. Angel, Dark Lord, sadistic asshole, Devil, all of it. Call me crazy, call me a liar, call me delusional, I probably am. At least I accept and know where I stand now. I know who I am.

[the-hornedwitch]

Utinam Ne Illum Numquam Conspexissem

Part Three: He is.

Everything "They" say He is.

Lightbearer

Lord of Air

Trickster

Devil

Dark Lord

He is all these and "more".

I eventually built Him a lovely altar that yes, sat under the East facing window of my apartment. I spent more time in this area, meditating and venerating Him. I spent time researching more deeply. Looking into EVERYTHING. Demonolatry, the Geotie, different practitioners, Luciferian, The Bible, Folklore from the Puritan era and even how the Romans worshiped. I took all this and used what I "felt" made sense to me.

As I've said in a previous post, I'm an animest in my core. I enjoy the "old ways", such as the shamanic practices of altered states of consciousness. As well as viewing the Gods as individuals beyond my comprehension.

So in front of His altar I sat, burning select incense, offering whiskey/wine/tea/coffee, (depending on the time of day), burned candles in select colors, brought Him flowers I found pretty, and played music I felt He might like.

As with my morning greetings, I built this into my daily routine as much as possible. I also started focusing on my therapy and shadow work. Meditation became vital especially with the stress of the Pandemic. I also started standing up for myself within my family dynamic and in various other relationships. This was difficult and upsetting. I went no contact with quite a few individuals.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I started to feel something. Just like with my ritual, and my morning greetings. This energy here and there, when I sat infront of my altar, when I gave offerings, when I meditated. There was this warmth when I'd come home from work. Pockets emotions, here and there. Buring pride and indignation if I was spoken to in a particular way.

Then I heard Him.

A faint whisper.

Little one

Priestesses

[the-hornedwitch]

[the-hornedwitch]

Utinam Ne Illum Numquam Conspexissem

Part Two: Good Morning Lucifer

Note: As I said before. What I speak of is my own personal walk and experience. I am speaking from my soul.

When "They" (Those who wrote the books) say "He" enjoys predawn and early morning rituals, "They" mean it. Call it intuition, call it stupidity, Hell could be "His" influence, there came a point in my wanderings I got the very bold notion to Greet the Morning. I did so in a simple fashion for a time. As I started my day I would face the East, watch the Sun rise. Breathing in the cool morning air. Breathing out, "Good Morning Lucifer". Waiting, listening and just being in the moment.

I did this for a time, I couldn't tell you how long. It became a routine, a mild meditation of sorts. I was blessed with a job that had me up and out the door before the sun woke up. A job that had me outside before 7am. A job I could walk around outside, and just be for an hour or so. Seeing the opportunity for what it was, I incorporated the greeting. Deciding it was far better then sitting in my car, waiting for the day to start by mindlessly scrolling through the social media's.

As I built my routine, and navigated both spiritual and mundane there came a morning that brought me out of my Agnostic and mildly atheist views.

I stood as I often did, facing east, focusing on my breathing and where my mind was wondering. Focused on the awakening Dawn, and said. "Good Morning Lucifer"

There came a slight breeze and the feelings I had felt during my candle ritual resurfaced. I couldn't help the sudden onset of Flyleafs lyrics of. "I can feel you all around me, circling, in the air I'm breathing." Repeat in my head. (Yeah I know, don't judge me)

Then;

"Good Morning"

It wasn't "spoken", not whispered in my ear through the trees or wind. It was vibrating in my sacral, heart and third eye. *oh shit*

To say I did not have a school girl moment would be an utter lie. I did not screech like a 14 year old at a Jonas Brothers concert (or how I simped over Datth Vader at Disneyland that one time) no, I got *shy*.

Eons old Deity who has seen the rise and fall of man a thousand times over, The Dark Lord whom many meet at a crossroads to bargain their souls. Just said "Good Morning " yeah, I had a moment.

As time continued, so did my ritual. I wish to keep my mundane life away from this telling as much as possible, but as I write I have realized things will overlap from time to time. I won't go into gritty detail (my memory is shit due to prolonged stress) I do know this; things where shifting for me. The rose colored glass where coming off and I was beginning to see parts of my life for what they were, except for one. My relationship.

As covid spread and became a talking point, I became very nervous. (However you feel about all that is yours I'm not here to debate anything)

Despite the outside world and the pandemic I continued my morning ritual. Incidentally, I was blessed to have my kitchen window facing east. Little changed in my routine, except instead of being outside I sat at my table with the kitchen window open and sipped my coffee.

Contagion and being ill has always been a stressful thing for me. Their is a lot of childhood trauma around illness for me, let's leave it that.

Eventually I bought an altar cloth for Lucifer, The Morning Star. Hanging it in the window, which my (ex)Husband seemed alright with. He was a night owl, often worked the overnight shift and was dead to the world once home. The mood shifted however when I painted a sigil for Lucifer, and hung it on the wall. The (ex) husband's demeanor shifted when I spent more time in my craft.

*photo is my own, taken that day*

[the-hornedwitch]

Tumblr not saving or posting your draft properly. Thus loosing an hour and a half of work, let's not forget, oh... the rough draft is gone now as well, all that posted was this BS, no where close to what you had spewed out. Lesson learned.

*Stares in sus*

[the-hornedwitch]

Yes, yes. Yes.

A devotee is a small piece of a deity’s influence on earth. You are their agent, their image, their model and their example to the world. Doesn’t it make sense that they’d want their followers to be the happiest and healthiest people they can be? Elevating yourself through self care and self love is one of the purest acts of devotion that exists. 

[the-hornedwitch]

Utinam Ne Illum Numquam Conspexissem

The convoluted tale of my experience with Lucifer.

By Kozel Aamutähti 

Disclaimer: Many of the things discussed in this manuscript are retellings of my own experiences walking the Left Hand Path.

Introduction.

Satan, The Fallen one, Most unclean, Father of lies. These are a few names "He" is known by, I can sit here and play Scholar. Break down centuries old text, argue on about nonsense that feeds the ego. Thump my unholy tomes and proclaim "This! This is the right way." That I see so often in any sort of spiritual community. I'm not, I'm only sharing what I have experienced.

And what? Exactly is that you ask? Well New friend, plain and simple, Lucifer.

Now before you start on about Satan is a title, Lucifer is the Light Bringer NOT The Devil, blah blah Yada Yada. Yes, I'm well aware what "The Books" say. And what So and so in this particular practice says. Yes, yes, I'm very aware. The thing is, life isn't always like the books, and like any experience or relationship everyone has their own perception or outlook on it. This, is mine, just remember there is a real chance I'm completely insane. So there's that, dear reader.

Anywho, onward yes? I'm sure you are reading this because either you have some sort of interest in The Left Hand Path. Know me in some capacity and is reading this for the sake of humoring me. Or have some sort of connection to Satanism or Lucifer. In either case, or all three welcome to the shit show. It only gets worse from here on out. So buckle up butter cup, we going on one hell of a ride.

Part One. 

The Devil has and always will be, a Gentlemen.

Honestly, He really is. When I first met Him, it was rather terrifying. Not because He fully manifested in all His Dark unholy glory in front of me, after I performed the most elaborate esoteric ritual known to man. No. It was terrifying, because He made Himself known in the gentlest way after a makeshift candle ritual. Yes, you read that right. Makeshift candle ritual. Now, I do not remember the particulars. What I do is this, I sat on the floor of my room one night, with one of His sigils drawn out. A red candle, some incense (dragon's blood or sandalwood) and some random draconian chant queued up on YouTube. 

Now at the time, my confidence was, alright. I tens to come from a place of respect, and these enegeries come in hot sometimes, it was a bit overwhelming.

I did what one does prior to such a simple ritual, cleansing, grounding all that jazz. Focused on the task at hand, and fixated on my intent. Going about my little ritual I didn't notice a shift or change. Giving it sometime, I waited and stayed in meditation for a time. Nothing happened. Thinking it either A. Hadn't worked or B. I wasn't aligned, I started to say my Thank yous, before blowing out my candle.

Except, I stopped, because I felt something.

The words of EA Koeting echoed in my mind. "Just because YOU dont see Them, dosnt mean They arent there."

Waiting for a moment, I refocused and centered myself best I could, but the energy in the room had shifted. And I began to feel a sort of way. I don't want to say fear, I wasn't afraid. It was that primal feeling of something bigger, and potentially deadly was very much present. Then the arousal hit, and while I do mean in a sexual manner it went beyond that. My entire being felt alight.

Taken aback, I rather humbly addressed the energy, and apologized for anything I had unwittingly done. The energy stayed potentent, yet was not aggressive, it simply observed. I did not hear anything, nor was anything impressed upon me. It just, waited, patiently. 

Still nervous and apprehensive, I said my thank yous, gave my farewells and closed out my little ritual. The energy hung around for a few moments, lingering as I calmed myself. I still felt as if someone was there. Chalking it up to my overactive imagination I carried on with my night, and eventually fell asleep. 

I do not recall my dream that night, nor did I keep a record of those to follow. Looking back, I wish I had, but there is a reason for things I guess. I do remember, vaguely, a few dreams I had days if not weeks after that ritual. They were like many dreams, blurry, mixed with waking life yet not. 

In those I recall, I often found myself in the living room of the home I was living in at the time. With a lovely piano of all things by the back sliding door. (I did not own a Piano) There was a man, one who I never really saw a face. Only the clothing, body, and length of hair. A smile here and there, but as I said, dreams are blurry. He did not resemble anyone I knew in the waking world, yet I knew Him. Like an old friend you hadn't seen in years. 

From what I do remember they started out innocent and vague. Words were exchanged but I do not recall what was said. We simply sat together, at a table, or the strange piano. There were a few that were very intense and sexuaI. I assumed they were just silly dreams of a life I wanted to live at the time, nothing more. 

My concept of time is a little jumbled here and there. I didn't do many rituals after that, life had become rather chaotic and I was swept up in it. My craft and practice began to suffer, but I found some solace in the Satanic community on Instagram. I began reaching out to other Practioners, yet kept my little ritual to myself.  I had been rather atheistic before this ritual and mildly remained so.

Life progressed on, and I remember very little of my mundane existence. I was working, looking for a new place to live, trying to build a relationship,  and was having some rather vivid dreams. Outside of that, Lucifer began popping up in the strangest ways. Yes, I'll admit my algorithm was Flooded with satanic stuff, but this was 2016, the internet was nowhere near what it is today. I had run into two devotees of His, who were rather wonderful. The CW show had started airing. I began seeing His sigil more and more. (Yes the one I had used in my ritual). Ghost had also caught my full and complete attention. Especially Square Hamner, He Is, and Absolution. Again nothing to really get all weird about. Just coincidence right? Yeah. Of course. 

[the-hornedwitch]

A bit about Lord Lucifer and Demonic Offices

Disclaimer: The Lord Lucifer I am speaking of here is the Dark Lord- not the roman god or other versions of Him. Also to clarify "Truth" (with capital) in this context means divine truth or like "universal".

Lord Lucifer is often associated with enlightenment- as one of His main “offices” or areas He presides over. And to an extent He is (but also so much more then that.) It’s not enlightenment in the usual sense though (as in similar to Buddhist enlightenment or the realization that all is one and you are god too, so everything is part of you- kind of thing), it’s not external. What Lord Lucifer actually works on is enlightenment of the Self; which is more focused on knowing Thyself. It is focused on the practitioners internal machinations, where that being stands in regards to the cosmos- getting really clear about their power, where and who they are, their Will to Power, self confidence ( that is based from within yourself), personal freedom, developing the self to a “greater level” etc. These kinds of areas. This is why shadow work is something He pushes and encourages- because it helps with this.

There is a tendency in certain spaces I have noticed- to associate a lot of different ideologies with Lord Lucifer. Seemingly whatever the practitioner (connecting with Lucifer) cares about in particular- the ideological “flavor of the week” so to speak is attributed to something Lucifer also “cares” about. And I feel there is a nuanced often missed here. Lord Lucifer Himself is actually rather neutral in regard to these areas. In connecting, working with Him and in developing/healing/“ improving”- said practitioners begin to feel more confident in themselves and their own beliefs and so are more comfortable in recognizing these as truths and potentially “core” beliefs/behaviors in their paradigms. They then seem to attribute that to being because Lucifer cares about a particular topic (and also associating in some ways that the topic in question and the “conclusions” they have about this- must be True). And it’s not so much that He Himself does or even that it is True (it could be, it could also not be), but more so; that in working with Him the practitioners feel better and more confident in themselves and so attribute these (newer/improved) ideologies/behaviors to Him (as something He cares about specifically) and to Truth. It an area of nuance with Him that is often missed. It’s the practitioner Themselves and their growth that concerns Him, not the ideologies they hold.

For an illustrative example to make it a bit clearer; lets say the practitioner in question is an alcoholic and wants to stop and recover or heal from this as an addiction. In working with Lord Lucifer they end up improving and healing- reaching their goal. They then attribute that to Lucifer being against alcohol consumption altogether. And then speak and act from their understanding and “truth” that this is the case. While completely missing the fact that Lucifer Himself is not against alcohol consumption. This is the nuance that is often missed in working with Him and something I felt called to bring attention towards.

And in closing as well, the Offices of the demonic divine Dark Lords and Ladies that are listed in the grimoires- are only a very small aspect of what they truly oversee, in my experience. This may be however because I connect with them as individual god level beings and also on the level that I do, which is not so “catered towards” humans desires. The Demonic divine are more complex beings with lives and existences of Their own outside of just the “function” or “office” that the grimoires give them (this is on all levels not just the outer realms levels I personally connect with). Sometimes what is listed is not even the main thing they are actually associated with. It is perfectly okay if They come across as differently than what has been written down “about” Them.

artist is Yin Zhe

artist is Carlos-Quevedo

[the-hornedwitch]

Darkness and the Demonic Divine Part 2:

( follow on from Part 1 found here, it is a little bit more mature and delves into some dangers)

False Darkness:

Sometimes when people first come across darkness and try to work with beings of darkness; they can get lost in what is known as false darkness. An example of this are edgelords in the occult, LHP paths. Make no mistake, people wrapped in or “led astray” by false darkness fully believe they are in contact with divine darkness levels- they are not however, and one can learn to tell.

 If not attuned to it (divine darkness or the particular level people are seeking) then people can stray very easily from the actual divinity that is found in darkness.

This can be for many reasons; due to the “murkiness” and unknown nature of darkness itself- that it is unconscious. It can also be due to the darkness bringing up people’s own false darkness (that they carry within them from numerous things like false beliefs etc) shadows, parasites etc via resonance.

They are not attuned and do not have the eyes to see.  Blindness also figures in darkness, but it can be a way of being guided- not by the mind but by something deeper beneath the light of the conciousness/mind, something primal. Learning a different way to navigate the darkness especially the farther one strays from the “light” of humanity and consciousness, is a must.

One can learn to distinguish false darkness ( and parasites, sludge etc) from true darkness via feeling and senses to determine what level someone is connecting at. For me personally because of how I have attuned to darkness; (and I do connect to divine levels of darkness daily) when there is false darkness it feels very off/misaligned/distorted and hollow/ “wrong” in a way. I have trained and learnt to hone my senses to understand the darkness and the different types of darkness via energy work, but also via walking the Qliphoth. The Qliphoth is an excellent way to begin to understand the different feelings of types of darkness – which is generally a harder area to study in energy work as not much is recorded or known about this. I personally took special interest in learning to tell however.

What is False Darkness and how does it show up?

With this next aspect I am trying to convey the energy difference via metaphor and illustrative example of false darkness and true darkness.

False Darkness can be thought of as a shadow that clouds true darkness. It clouds your mind and senses, leads you astray and can feel so very correct or normal- but it ends up being harmful and delves into delusion. If you think of shadows and the night; (for this example the night itself; energy and feeling – that would be like divine/true darkness and the shadows would be like false darkness). At night time- both the shadows and the night look black to the human eye, but the shadows don’t hold the depth and majesty of what the night does. Because they both look black it is easy to confuse one for the other. It is the same with false darkness, it is like a shadow or fog that prevents you from seeing the truth. It can be internal clouding and coming from within or it can be external, and it can be brought on by certain beings or increased via parasites. Usually where there is false darkness there are likely parasites (if the false darkness is internal or attached to the energy bodies) as parasites can hide in it. There may also be energetic wounding beneath the false darkness as well. It can congregate in energy centres and the third eye- which affects ones clairsenses as well. As it can ingratiate into the mind- it can also affect beliefs how things are processed as well. This is more energetic information though- it can also delve into the shamanic models of disease and healing with energy work as well.

Dangers in Darkness

I do think this next part bears being mentioned. The other thing with the darkness and the demonic divine- it can be dangerous. There have been a lot of people trying to sway those in the beginning that demons are not dangerous- This has been done to destigmatize demons- rightfully so and I agree with this stance- but there is also nuance to it. Demons who work with and are known by humans (in general); are not out to maliciously harm someone. They have no need nor interest in such things. It is extremely unlikely and very very rare that they would do so. If a Dark Lord does not like someone they most often won’t even connect.

All That said however; beyond those normally worked with in human realms- there are demons and beings in the darkness who will harm you. Sometimes it is deliberate and malicious, sometimes it is not. Sometimes if you do come to harm it, is not intended and it is an energy clash or simply natural for that being to have that affect on humans. i.e some eldritch beings, void beings, some demonic divine beings etc. Humans are not all that capable of handling some beings/energies/experiences- especially if you venture further out into the darkness. There are beings and energies that no matter how skilled you are, you will not be able to defend or protect yourself from. Nor can you learn or alchemise anything from them of the experience and I think this bears mentioning.

 Most will never have such encounters- but for those that do (especially with darker energies as well since there is a stigma around it already) it is important to recognize that you are not alone- if this has happened to you. It also bears mentioning that just because a being hurt you or even a dark being hurt you- does not mean they are evil. It’s kind of like saying that a lion is “evil” for eating an antelope. (I personally don’t believe in evil especially as one overarching concept). What happened may not have been intended, maliciously intended, or even something they were aware of. Most likely these beings are just being as they are, or the energies were incompatible. This also applies to the greater multiverses.  This is a sticky kind of subject that many may not really wish to cover, face or talk about. 

When you actually pathwalk and work long term with the demonic in a deeper manner- there are things that will challenge you and they can hurt you.  With the Demonic divine; I have found- they do challenge you and beyond your comfort zone- sometimes this hurts, very badly and it can seem too much, Sometimes we are made to face our deepest fears head on with no support from them. And that is the other main difference between demons and gods in general; ie in metaphor illustrative example  of being pushed off a cliff.

A god may warn you the cliff is there ( if they are nice lol), they may lead you to the edge and they may even push you off- but if you ask for help on the way down then they will be there to help catch you when you fall ( for the most part and depending on what is being done). A demon DL on the other hand may give you a heads up about the cliff approaching- They will (most likely) push you off- but if you ask for help on the way down and here’s the thing- they will not catch you. Once you have hit the bottom then They help you pick yourself up and heal and learn from the experience.

But demons will not do the thing for you- ( otherwise how would you grow?). They can guide you once you have landed and soften the blow even- but They will not prevent you from falling and learning the lessons you need to from it. Most often because you have to experience it to actually grow. They don’t do this maliciously (most often- depending on who you get) but it may not always be done with your best interest in mind. Especially if you are working on something beyond just personal growth with them. Mostly if you are actively working with the Demonic Divine then it is likely it is being done to aid you- but it may not always be just about you or what is best for you. Demons and DLs can have agendas too. And while it can look all sorts of terrible and feel that way as well- the aim is usually not to hurt you- if you are actively working with them. It can seem that way at the time though. And I think this metaphor is worth remembering that if you do pathwork, then this can and is likely to happen at some point.

And working with demons is often no cakewalk- it is hard, very hard to keep going at times, but trust in Them and in yourself is important in such moments. Such events are even mentioned in S Connolly’s working about facing your fears and transcending them in order to fully connect with the demonic- this is, I have found quite true. Ultimately it is up to the practitioner what they decide to do whether keeping going and delving deeper or not.

artwork by Peter Mohrbacher

[the-hornedwitch]

Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God; from ‘lch habe viele Brüder in Sutanen’, tr. Anita Barrows & Joanna Macy

[the-hornedwitch]

Yes. Yes. Yes

Something I feel like people getting into folk magic need to understand, for many people of many backgrounds, is folk magic started as a means of survival. It was struggle magic, and it is still struggle magic.

Where I'm living now and where I'm from, people planted by the signs to ensure their crops wouldn't go bad before harvesting. People used ocean water to soothe joint and muscle pains when they got old. People studied the native plants for medicine and were mindful to only take what was needed. People did little rituals and minded their grannies' words to keep their good luck. If they didn't know how to do something (or couldn't), they went to people who did.

Learning folk magic to reconnect with ancestral traditions from before your time is valid. Learning folk magic to connect with and work with the land is valid. There are many valid reasons to take up folk magic. Still, understand that folk magic is survival, and folk magic is community.

[the-hornedwitch]

Alllllllllright.

Normally I shy away from such posts. However something has come to my attention. As a woman I find it is something I need to address.

To my Satanic sisters, whether you be a theist or an Atheist.

There is a vile worm with in our mits.

He goes by many screen names, things along the lines of. Midwestpastor, CuriousChritian, 47pastorexl. And similar.

His supposed name is Gage, and he claims to be a Pastor. That is right a holy man of the false God. He claims to be interested and curious about Satanism, yet upon further conversation often discloses how much he desires and wishes to serve a satanic women. Often times in a sexual manner.

Whatever, I do not care, my issue is this.

His lacking of the fundamental understanding of the word NO. And his inability to understand the fundamentals of the Left Hand Path.

Our beliefs and rituals have become a fetish for this man.

He has continued to message me even after being blocked. And plays the apology, what did I do wrong card.

Consent, is vital to me, as I'm sure it is to you my sisters. (I do believe Anton LaVey and TsT have tenants on such a thing)

He is presistant and often times disrespectful to our beliefs. It is similar to that of the old puritans. Continues to tell me how much he desires me and wishes I could "show him the way" that he would convert if "we were intamate".

Take what you will from this post.

I do not care.

I simply share to make it known.

Men like this should not be tolerated within our community.

[the-hornedwitch]

I love giving my offerings.

[the-hornedwitch]

While I wear the crown of Theistic Satanist, I am at my heart and soul a Pagan and Animist. 

When I started in The Craft, I joined a Wiccan coven and worked through my 1st degree. Before that, I was always fascinated by theology, folklore, and mythology of North America, Ancient Rome and Egypt. I spent years reading and studying (non academic) about such things, so when I started my path I felt confident in my knowledge of the gods. 

As a baby witch I had a difficult time "connecting" with a God and Goddess. No one seemed to call to me, or ones from cultures that didn't mix well did. Still, "Mom" and "Dad" eluded me. Then I found Baphomet.  Now I had heard the name before, and was aware of their usage as a symbol for Satan within Laveyan Satanism (Atheist). Thankfully, my High Priest at the time was a Freemason and assisted with questions I had. 

As I've mentioned in prior posts, I read a book titled the Baphomet Codex. While I do not adhear to everything in that text, it assisted me with a foundation. Which is as follows. 

Baphomet is all, and nothing. Baphomet is Source, Spirit, Universe, The Force. 

The Divine Masculine is Sammeal. 

When I met Him, it was not the Fallen Angel other Theists see Him as. He was Primordial, dark, unbridled. Very much the embodiment of a Dark Horned God (The Devil) 

The Divine Feminine is Lilith.

The Dark Mother was just that, Primal, beautiful and Dark. I viewed(view) her as The Scared Mother. The snarling she wolf, the deep dark abyss, wreathing Primordial beast. 

Their intensity hit me hard and fast, it was scary and traumatic. Certain aspects of my life started to fall away, and instead of trusting them I held on. Allowing the process of my awaking to them to slow down and almost stop. (More on that in a future post).

Being a Witch, I do enjoy ritual. Whilst studying and practicing Wiccan I simply referred to the quarters as their corresponding elements and titles of "Guardians of [insert direction]" 

After reading the Baphomet Codex and other sources aligned with Demonolatry I found Watchers or Principalities of the quartets. They are as follows. 

North:Earth-Hekate. 

After meeting her in this capacity, I found her showing up in other aspects of my life and she has since become important to my practice outside of her principality.  

South:Fire-Satan or Azazel 

I first started with Satan or more importantly the creative trickster force of nature. I am someone who isnt to keen on separating Lucifer/Satan as different entities. So it became complicated for me. After some time, I started working with Azazel outside of this aspect. I soon found Him to fit nicely in the role of Southern Quarter. (His direction is south) 

West:Water-Leviathan

Within the Baphomet codex, Taimat is the western principality. I attempted to utilize her as such, but did not feel a connection. I then incorporated Jorminder the great serpent from Norse pantheon, but soon found Leviathan to be more suitable. I am still in the process of building a relationship with Him. Being a heavy water sign, Sun Cancer, Moon Scorpio. I tend to get "lost" in the flow of Abyssly Ether when I work with Him. 

East:Air-Lucifer

Oh where oh where to begin with dear Lucifer. 

I did not "officially" meet Him in this aspect. Yes I felt his pull when I read the Baphomet Codex and saw Him placed in such a role. However I did not meet Him as such. That's another story for another time. I have found His standing as the Eastern Watcher to be beneficial, however He has come to play an even more important role in my life. 

Working outward and away from the Quarters, I work with other Daemon, Sprites, Ancestors and guides. 

I am not someone to only go to Daemon when I "need" something. I very much enjoy worshiping and Venerating them. There are certain ones I feel pulled to work with, recently it has been Raum, Stolis, Valac, and Paimon. 

When it comes to Spirits, I often take an Animist/Shinto approach. I hold that there are spirits of the land, of a thing/place and a spirit that resides. I also hold that spirits of the dead are very much real, as are older spirits such as Fae, "cryptids" , hildafolk and those within other cultures I do not know their names. 

When I speak of my ancestors it is not just those from ancient times. I have been attempting research into my family's history. Having both my grandparents and mother not within this plain of existence I often honor them when I can. 

My guides tend to appear in animal form. Often times to teach me a "lesson" of some sort or reminders of my path. They are often animals associated with the God's I work with. Such as, snakes, owls, hawks, crows, goats, cats, and black dogs. 

Another important guide is Lucifer. Though I hold Him in a higher standing, he often takes on this role. 

Other God's I find important are those of the Crossroads, Underworld and Dark Feminine. 

Note: What I have expressed is simply my own practice, no two practioners are the same. This is what works and calls to me. As my former High Priest would say, "eat the chicken spit out the bones". Take what you will from books and resources, only you know what works for you.

[the-hornedwitch]

I love this. I have fallen out of celebrating my holidays, and have been slowly coming back to celebrating them regularly. Thank you for this.

For 3 years now, my fiancé and I have been doing an autumn baking competition in celebration of the Autumnal Equinox where we invite our friends over to try our desserts and crown one of us the Autumn Baker (and for 3 years he’s won every damn time!).

When Samhain comes I go to a retreat to separate from normal life and connect to death in the woods.

And Yule will always be heralded by my fiancé and ne waking up with the sun, shivering on metal chairs together, and talking about the past year.

I cannot say this enough — connect your holidays to something real, something you look forward to, something you prepare for. It can be so difficult to make our holidays feel real and practical and actually celebratory. It’s taken me almost a decade of being pagan to actually feel my holidays. I never miss one nowadays because I love them so much.

So if you’re struggling with the Wheel of the Year or a reconstructionist calendar or something of your own making — keep going. One of these days it will feel meaningful and real because of all of the work you’re putting in now.

[the-hornedwitch]

Oh for fuck's sake, are we having the curse-shaming argument AGAIN??? Every time I think we're done unteaching this nonsense.....

Arright, quick rundown of the points, more or less in order, because I've already had this discussion a hundred times:

One - There is no universal moral or ethical code in witchcraft. Not every witch is a Wiccan or follows Wiccan principles. Not even all Wiccans follow every Wiccan principle, and that includes the Rule of Three / Threefold Law. The Wiccan Rede is ADVICE, not a set of hard and fast rules or divine mandates. You don't get to tell other witches what types of spells they should and should not cast.

Two - If you think the Rule of Three / Threefold Law means, "Whatever you give out comes back to you times three" or if you think it only applies to baneful magic, you don't understand the rule. The original rule, as stated by Robert Graves in "The White Goddess" (you know, the fictional novel that Gardner used as a model for Wicca) states that whatever a witch is dealt, they should deal back three times over. In fact, the passage cites a particular initiation ritual that involves symbolic flagellation, NOT a code of ethics for witchcraft.

It was picked up by later authors as "Whatever You Give" and popularized by media like The Craft and Charmed and authors like Silver Ravenwolf in the 90s when the modern witchcraft movement was having its' millennial boom. (This is a gross oversimplification, but that's when the concept became common enough in pop culture that non-witches were starting to become familiar with the term.)

Three - Karma has absolutely nothing to do with it. Karma is not instant or sentient and the bastardized version of the concept that's been worked into much of modern witchcraft literature more closely resembles the Christian concept of sin and judgment than what karma actually is. Remove the word from your vocabulary when you're talking about magic. The universe does not give one single flying fuck what you do with your spells.

Four - The word you're searching for when you talk about these concepts is CONSEQUENCES. Every action you take, every spell you cast, everything has consequences and everything has a price. This isn't a divine mandate or a cosmic law either. It's a simple fact of life. BUT. It doesn't mean that baneful spells are morally or ethically wrong or that they're going to blow up in someone's face. The only reason a baneful spell might be more likely to rebound is that it's one of the only types of spells that witches actively ward against.

Five - Witches have a right to use magic for persuasion, defense, justice, retribution, binding, prevention, or outright harm if they so choose. If you don't like those types of spells, then don't cast them.

Six - Moral puritanism is a cancer that will destroy us all. Get off your high horse, drop the holier-than-thou bullshit, and remember that being a witch does not make you immune to propaganda.

Thank you for coming to my Toad Talk.

[the-hornedwitch]

My Path, How I found it, and why I stay.

I found LeVayian Satanism at Nineteen(I am 36). At the time I was gifted a copy of The Satanic Bible to read.

I found it interesting, yet there were somethings that just didn't mesh. A year or two later, I started studying a Wiccan/pagan tradition founded by a Freemason.

I soon discovered Baphomet, and began incorperating Them into my practice. As time went on my High Priest introduced me to The Baphomet Codex.

Here, I was introduced to Lilith and Sammeal as the Divine Masculine and Feminine. Who united into the form of Baphomet (The universe). I also met Satan and Lucifer as seperate Entities.

Satan as the Lord of Fire, The Southern Quadrant, who governs Creativity. Aligned with lust, the darker side of nature and trickster energy.

Lucifer as The Lord of Air, Eastern Quadrant, and who governs Communication. Aligned with enlightenment, pride, and heroic energy.

Then I had my Dark Night of the Soul and went to LeVayian Satanism, and there I stayed. Until I felt a strong pull towards Lucifer, I flirted with Him for sometime. A little to long, and I soon found I was meant to walk this path with him as my Patron.

I remain on this path, because I find it benifical to who I am as an individual. While I have had my ups and downs, my struggles through life. I understand that they are of my own doing. I am responsible for my life, no one else. This path has taught me the importance of responsibility and accountability. How vital it is to one's own well being, to embrace your darkness and "unlovable" aspects. That we are creatures full of desires and creativity. I do not submit to an authority outside of myself, I trust in an entity that has my best interest in mind. Who wants nothing more then for me to grow into the being I am truly meant to be.