the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

Unfortunately my perception of anyone with a learning disability or a developmental disorder has been skewed by my FUCKING IDOT OF A BROTHER

I've ranted about him too much to friends.... I genuinely cannot comprehend how little he can do by himself. Like he needs his hand to be held and gently guided... He's 21... He was diagnosed with autism at 18... And my parents knew he likely had autism and did things to help with it, like he had a strict schedule as long as I can remember. He still lives with us, he's finally getting a job and he can't even fill out an application by himself. I'VE DONE IT BY MYSELF MANY TIMES I HAVE A JOB IM 16 AND GO TO SCHOOL AND HE THINKS THAT ANY JOB OVER 40 HOUR IS GOING TO WAYYYYY TO FUCKING BUSY FOR HIM BECAUSE HE GOES TO COLLEGE (ITS 2 CLASSES THAT ARE 2 HOURS LONG BUDDY PLEASE) like I just can't understand why a job ( when he has had one before that he was pretty good at but had to quit because he went on a church mission(a whole other rant)) a job could be so overwhelming, maybe it's just me who doesn't understand autism as much as I should but my parents have been pushing him to get a job for months (8 months) they are in medical debt because my mom has multiple chronic diseases and he still expects her to get up when he can't find the bleach IT WHERE IS ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND WE TELL HIM THAT BUT HE JUST CANT FIND SO NOW I HAVE TO GET UP SO MY MOM DOESN'T HAVE TO AND GUESS WHAT IT WAS UNDER THE SINK WHERE WE SAID NOT EVEN HIDDEN. And he constantly talks about how he's going to do this and that for the family(like fix gutters and paint the basement) but he doesn't, they are empty promises... He can't even do household chores because he's just so tired all the time, but he does nothing but play games all day then go to his classes, then when I come back from work complain about how tired I am it's like a competition on who is more tired... Buddy please just because you woke up earlier than you usual does NAWT make you more tired than me who just did labor in the hot burning sun. I honestly think the only reason I get so peeved is because he doesn't understand his limits so when he gets super motivated to do something and it doesn't work out and he gets super bummed and complains to everyone about it AND when we have fights my parents tell me to "just deal with it" I was told this before he was diagnosed. No I don't wanna just deal with his disrespectful ass . I have sensitive ears and I HATE being touched. I have been like this all my life and he still can't get through his thick head that I've set the hard boundary of asking before being touched and I've even explained what being touched is like even a poke on my skin feels like I have bugs crawling under my skin but he still does it... Why can't he understand, why can't he just respect what I've asked. I've always been happy to accept when he asked because at least I understand that he needs physical contact because that is one of his love languages. I understand his boundaries (or at least try to, I may not be in the right some of the time but like it's been like this for years)

So now when it's brought up that someone has autism or any other learning/developmental disorder I get pre annoyed because my perception has been skewed, my 1st thought (which I do feel bad about and I try to correct) is that they are fucking idiots who are babies that can't be adults because they expect that the world will just hand everything to them for free with no real hard work of effort

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk, I'm going to blast Rihanna to make me feel better.

(if there is any advice please help, even if its me being the idiot anything 🙏🙏🙏)

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

I would swim in this if I could

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

my acne appeared in a very satisfying way, never thought I would like how acne looked

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

"I have 2 Glock 19's 50mg of cocaine and a Percocet I can do anything" talking about a oc

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

"Where's there a stick you can drift" talking about men 🤦‍♀️

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

When I get so bored I start doing school work

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

My villain origin story is nepotism

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

...chat it was underlying medical issue...

Why the fuck I school stressful all of a sudden, I took one ap class and now I can't keep a B grade, I am going to fail that ap class if I try a salvage the rest of my grades. There's only 9 days left. I don't even know if they will let me switch out. I don't want to retake math my senior year of HS. I'm screwed. My parents want me to do well in school and I do to but I don't think they will understand how much I am struggling.

ONE AP CLASS AND MY ENTIRE LIFE SUCKS

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

Foot span

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

Rengoku and Shinob playingbping pong

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

*watching a sex scene in a game*

*grinding for an achievement*

"WAIT THAT WAS A SEX SCENE"

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

Why the fuck I school stressful all of a sudden, I took one ap class and now I can't keep a B grade, I am going to fail that ap class if I try a salvage the rest of my grades. There's only 9 days left. I don't even know if they will let me switch out. I don't want to retake math my senior year of HS. I'm screwed. My parents want me to do well in school and I do to but I don't think they will understand how much I am struggling.

ONE AP CLASS AND MY ENTIRE LIFE SUCKS

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

20/20 vision nahh

360 vision

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

That is currently not working someone help

As long as you sound happy you are happy - me

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

"I also feel like a failure in life but I am on my period so ask me in like 2 weeks if I still feel like a failure, I'm pretty sure it's just the hormones "

Me

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

Apparently I can't "roll my nose" at my dad anymore 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[the-ihavenoideawhatimdoing]

And here I thought my ceramics teacher said that 100% himslef but he was truly just quoting the big bang theory, I'm disappointed in him

"I'm not crazy my mommy had me tested" my ceramics teacher, it's not as wierd as it sounds I promise