the-lighthouse-librarian

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

I would give up forever

to be somebody to you

moon, austin giorgio

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

My dream of Solas leading a wolf pack exists. All those wolf howls in VG...his pack was looking for him.

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

Just thinking about Solas’ words when you fall into the Fade at Adamant. He’s so excited and “nerding out”. But really? He’s come home.

Ancient Arlathan isn’t his home.

The Fade is! He didn’t want to leave it in the first place. He never expected he’d be able to come back. He even sounds like he’s about to cry at one point, overwhelmed and yet brimming with gratitude.

That hurts me, honestly. Just to get to go home. Not many happy things happen to Solas. That’s one of a meager handful.

Now attach that to “Lavellan brought him home.”

How he must’ve looked at her afterward. Seen her as a gift, an unexpected blessing. Not only that she is offering a gentle and tender love to him, but that she took him back to his home. Even if it was accidental.

And then in the end, she’s with him again when they finally go home for good. This time, he’s taking her with him. What a moment that is for that man.

Overwhelmed isn’t the word.

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

"can you explain this gap in your resume" i lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed; i woke still weak a year before i joined you

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

Even if those you wronged asked you to stop?

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

I’m feral over solas eyebrows slowly curving upward, eyes widening, mouth opening slightly, shocked, enraptured, amazed , to see Lavellan after 10 years and he can’t stop staring at her.

Lowers his weapon, his guard, just taking her in as the veil crumbles around them when time is of the essence he can’t stop staring.

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

Walking the Din'anshiral: Inquisitor Lavellan 

Days ago, I wrote about Solas invoking the din'anshiral in Trespasser. But Solas is not the only one who walks it. Inquisitor Lavellan, left in the aftermath of Trespasser, begins her own long journey on it. However, unlike Solas, the path doesn't destroy her - it reveals instead her resilience and inner strength and that she's redefined the meaning of the path itself. 

To understand her arc, we return to the moment Solas first names the din’anshiral: 

Lavellan: Let me help you, Solas.  Solas: I cannot do that to you, vhenan.  Lavellan: But you would do it to yourself? I cannot bear to think of you alone.  Solas: I walk the din’anshiral. There is only death on this journey. I would not have you see what I become. 

Many have interpreted Lavellan’s ‘let me help you” as a willingness to join Solas’s cause, but I see a different interpretation. This dialogue sets a foundation for the Lavellan we meet in Veilguard - the one who has not ended the relationship and who ‘vows to save Solas from himself’. Let’s call this Lavellan Atonement Lavellan. This specific dialogue reflects a lot about this character’s written core – how she sees Solas and instinctively refuses to abandon someone to suffering. 

If you are playing Atonement Lavellan - or choose to have any high approval Inquisitor in the atonement ending - I believe you are playing a character oriented toward connection.

Atonement Lavellan instinctively understands that Solas’s weakness isn’t his pride or arrogance - it’s his isolation. Her offer to walk beside him is a quiet act of resistance against the ideological death march he's committed himself to. She isn’t offering agreement with his plans - she’s offering her presence. I'm not certain at this point Lavellan has a plan, she's winging it (she's just found out he's the Dread Wolf after all), but all she knows is that she can't bear to think of him alone, meaning she intuitively knows that him cutting himself off from connection is not good.

Replaying Veilguard and returning to this moment in Trespasser, I saw this Lavellan symbolizing connection as a response to suffering. This is consistent with the kind of Inquisitor who helps Cole find his way, who hugs Varric after losing Hawke, who checks in on Cullen during his withdrawals and who offers Blackwall another chance. This is an Inquisitor who meets pain with presence and that doesn’t believe pain should be carried alone.

This dialogue choice also reveals something about Atonement Lavellan’s character framework in this narrative. She's not operating from wounded pride, nor seeking affirmation of his love as a salve for her own pain. Her instinct tells her this isn’t about her - it’s about the internal war Solas is fighting against himself. She swallows her own pride and heartbreak (heartbreak that would have been justified) to reach for something higher – something Solas is unable to do. Her true opponent in that moment isn’t actually Solas. It’s the din’anshiral itself. 

What I love about Atonement Lavellan is how she balances two seemingly irreconcilable truths: she is the Inquisitor, a symbol of political leadership and martial consequence - and she is also a woman who loves a man now prepared to destroy the world. Her narrative doesn’t resolve that tension – it lives in it. It is her din'anshiral.  

Lavellan’s Own Din’anshiral 

"I am here, walking the din'anshiral with you." 

A quiet evolution takes place for Atonement Lavellan between Trespasser and Veilguard - one we don’t witness directly in the game, but which becomes clear in these words to Solas. In the years since Trespasser, she has walked her own road of sorrow and loss. All Inquisitors bear the heavy responsibilities of consequence, but for this elven Inquisitor, the din’anshiral resonates on an ancestral level. It connects her to the ancient Elvhen world, becoming a journey she walks to understand Solas more deeply, to understand that world. Somewhere in those intervening years, I believe Atonement Lavellan made a conscious choice to walk the path. But where Solas walks the din’anshiral in service of destruction, Inquisitor Lavellan walks in resistance to it.

By Veilguard, we see a romanced Atonement Lavellan who has paid a steep personal price for her choices. Her clan has been harmed or killed due to war table decisions. Learned revelations that have shaken her understanding of her gods and culture. She's a Dalish elf forced into the role of a religious symbol in a Chantry-dominated South and has either disbanded the Inquisition or surrendered it to the very systems that once oppressed her people. The Venatori still hunt her. The Grey Wardens don’t trust her. Varric is dead - killed by Solas. The title of Inquisitor, regardless of their background, is marked by compromise, impossible choices, and death. 

Despite the collapse of the Inquisition and years of political fallout, it is still the Inquisitor the people look to when the South begins to weaken under the failed ritual's chaos. That tells us something fundamental about who the character of Atonement Lavellan has become through the din'anshiral lens. The path includes defending a world that both mistrusts and depends on her. And in this new war, she may well die before ever facing Solas again. No promise of reward, no expectation of reunion. Even stripped of title and institution, she stands at the center of the fight, holding the truth that she leads Southern Thedas’s survival because of him. 

And this is the contrast to her walking the path as opposed to Solas. She's reclaiming the din’anshiral, transforming it from a path of death into a journey of survival. She doesn't give in to despair, though it might have tried to claim her many times.

So when Lavellan stands before Solas at the end of Veilguard, her words carry all of that. "I am here, walking the din'anshiral with you" - is a declaration forged through lived experience. She’s a woman who has known her own darkness and has chosen, again and again, not to let it define her. In my eyes, she is a hero of Thedas, standing beside a broken god, offering not salvation, but presence. Oh, what the history books will say of her 100 years from now! 

Whether the din’anshiral began as a vow of exile among the ancient elvhen or is simply a metaphor of ruin, there’s a quiet symmetry in Lavellan telling Solas that she, too, has walked it - not in opposition, but in parallel - their two paths finally merging.

Is the din’anshiral over for them? Not yet. Lavellan’s words in the present tense make that clear. For the Atonement Lavellan who leaves with Solas, it's the continuation of that path - perhaps shadowed and uncertain at first - but no longer walked alone. 

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

A landscape commission for @dreadfutures plus a little Lavellan. This was insanely challenging to make and ended up taking months to make; many hard but valuable lessons learned in the way. Endless thanks to Blue's patience and trust in this 🙌

I don't usually add the process video into the art post itself but here it goes below the cut

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

after seeing solas's backstory in veilguard, I think it makes it even more meaningful that solas planned on telling lavellan the truth about himself straight after going to the temple of mythal, after walking the halls of all the regrets of his past with lavellan at his side who was a bright future he desperately wanted to stay with

it must’ve been such a weird convergence of past, present and future for solas, going back to the temple frozen in time, seeing abelas finally released from his duty to mythal, that had him wavering on which path to take… but in the end he didn’t think he deserved that bright future and couldn't bring lavellan down that dark path with him

and I can't help but wonder if seeing abelas walk away from mythal’s service was what tipped the scales for solas in wanting to tell lavellan the truth in crestwood, if it had him thinking “maybe I could be free too”

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

Shifting Awareness - Lover to Dread Wolf

The Trespasser slide using the name of “Dread Wolf” instead of Solas is a shift of awareness - Inquisitor Lavellan is no longer in the dark about who Solas is.

Throughout Trespasser, the Inquisitor moves through the Crossroads, uncovering hidden truths. If the player discovers all key pieces of information and pays attention, the Inquisitor is able to confront Solas using the title “Dread Wolf.” This narrative structure prepares the player to see Solas as Fen’Harel, with all the implications that name carries.  Where Veilguard drives home the “perception is reality” themes, it started here with Trespasser. How do you see Solas now that you have learned the truth of Fen’Harel?  

And so the use of “Dread Wolf” in the final slide of a romanced Solas/Lavellan confirms this recontextualization. Lavellan understands that the man she loved – Solas - is inseparable from the legend that now defines him. “Solas” is associated with intimacy, shared ideals, affection. But the journey of Trespasser, and the revelations it holds, collapse that perception. It is no longer possible for her to see him only as Solas.  

Her eyes are wide open and have been since Trespasser.

From this point on, her search is not for the man he was with her, but for a way to reach the figure he feels he needs to be. In the post credit scene, the Inquisitor along with others start laying out the plans that lead us to Veilguard.  This is a Lavellan acting in full awareness. This Lavellan who loves Solas does not cling to illusions. She may still love him, but her pursuit is one of intervention, not denial.  

The slide also makes it clear that while it is her lover visiting her in her dreams, she knows it is the Dread Wolf’s heart she needs to change - she has already changed Solas’ heart, he's visiting her in her dreams after all, unable to let his vhenan go fully. What remains is the greater task: to change the Dread Wolf’s.  

Crucially, the language of the slide names him not only as the Dread Wolf, but as her lover. The juxtaposition of these two titles is symbolic. “Lover” evokes the personal, the human, the lived relationship. “Dread Wolf” evokes the mythic, the divine, the dangerous. The combination affirms that Lavellan holds both truths at once. She remembers the man and recognizes the god. Her private experience is converging with historical awareness.  

This symbolic duality and confirmation reappear when Lavellan meets Rook in Veilguard.  

How many of his names do you know? God of Lies, Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel. They're titles he earned from enemies, followers, and fractured history. He and I shared another name. Vhenan. 

Lavellan articulates to Rook the full spectrum of who Solas is - a man with many names, shaped by myth, memory, and propaganda. But she also names the personal. The game is confirming what the final slide of Trespasser already implied - Lavellan holds all these truths at once – her lover and the Dread Wolf. She does not need to rediscover who Solas is. She already knows. In fact, if anything, her clarity has sharpened. 

For this reason, any interpretation suggesting that Lavellan does not understand what she’s facing fails to account for the structure and language of the narrative. The slide is not ambiguous. The shift in naming reflects not only her awareness, but her own transformation. She is no longer a woman mourning a lost lover - she is someone seeking a legend, prepared to intervene. 

And this shift repositions their romance story from personal to mythic. The end of Trespasser sets the stage - a legend in which the hero/heroine pursues a loved figure who has vanished into myth. The dream imagery reinforces this: Solas appearing in the Fade, in her dreams, watching from a distance, fading away when Lavellan reaches for him - because this is how myth behaves - untouchable, elusive. 

And yet, the slide does not end in despair. It ends in action: she searches, dreams, waits. These are verbs of persistence, strategy, and patience - and the game makes this trajectory clear with this intentional language. The quest to “change the Dread Wolf’s heart” becomes the foundation for Veilguard, and for those who chose that path, there is nothing unexpected in how Lavellan is portrayed. She is a consistent extension of what the story has already shown: a woman who sees the myth and the man clearly.

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

mutual pining simply never misses. the yearning. the stupidity. the desperation while also thinking themselves alone with it. the rattling relief at the revelation. the way it works in so many scenarios— friends to lovers? a banger every time. casual hook-ups/friends with benefits while they both want more? show-stopping, spectacular, incredible. enemies who are so deep in denial it just makes them madder at each other? utterly unmatched every single time. slow burn, fast burn, burning while already fucking. mutual pining really just is that girl like truly who does it like her

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

"I regret the pain that i have caused you..."

When rook in the regret prison, there are statues of the companion who had been sacrificed like neve/bellara and harding/davrin. What if, solas experienced the same when he's in the prison, but it's the statue of his vhenan.

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

sighs like a dog with bills to pay. I miss my wife, Rook. I miss her a lot

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

The Dreadwolf sure is scary

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

I see people loving Solas' humble-apostate-face from Inquisition,

I see people loving Solas' god-of-lies-and-chadness-face from Veilguard

(and I understand you both)

BUT

Where are my fellow Trespasser truthers?

Just look at him, he has never egged so hard.

[the-lighthouse-librarian]

In Another World.

Why Not This One?

I Can’t. 

When Solas tells Lavellan, “In another world” he was right. His love for her is real but it exists in the wrong world.

To Solas, modern Thedas is a direct result of his actions - altered through his most destructive mistake. When he tells Rook that the Veil is a wound on the world that must be healed, it is his wound. The Veil is a boundary that will forever separate him from the world he once knew. He is a man exiled - physically and existentially - his homeland cut off from him. 

When Lavellan asks, "Why not this one?" she is asking something impossible of him - to live in a world that is a constant reminder of his darkened past.

The Letter to Lavellan 

In his letter to Lavellan, Solas writes: 

"I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas." 

"Putting plans aside" does not sound like abandoning them altogether - it suggests that, for her, he was willing to put his plans on hold – at least while she lived. These words confirm for me that even if he had stayed with Lavellan until the end of her mortal life, he was always going to tear the Veil down. 

She was unique to him, someone in this haunted landscape that he somehow fell in love with. Unique enough for him to consider for a time, of remaining by her side.

I believe he did the right thing in leaving her.

I don't know if he could have ever gotten to a point where he'd accept Thedas as it is. It represents the chains that bind him and had he stayed with Lavellan, their love was at threat of being buried under them.

Leaving feels symbolic, the beginning of Solas starting to break free from those chains. His many acts throughout his ancient life were done either in service to others or to his guilt. His decision to leave Lavellen was made from love for her, not in service of it. It's an important distinction. She truly did affect him, enough for him to make this type of choice, breaking a cycle that could so easily end up mirroring his relationship with Mythal.

It's why the Atonement ending is powerful, it's another decision he makes for himself alone, not tied to devotion or obligation. He doesn't expect forgiveness, he is choosing to atone because it is the better path. Even though Mythal, Rook, and Lavellan's presence helped him reach that decision - they did not make it for him. He accepted the physical world of Thedas has a right to endure - without him.

Why Thedas May No Longer Be Lavellan’s World as Well 

For my protagonist, joining Solas in another world could not just be about ‘going where Solas goes’. It had to be about her own journey as well - something critics of her character often exploit, given how much the game leaves to interpretation. I considered what Thedas has become for her as a Dalish elf and why stepping away is a decision that extends beyond her love for Solas, shaped by the choices I, the player, made in Inquisition and my world state. 

"Every time you’re “more than just a person” to someone, you’re also less than a person to them." 

Harding’s words from Jaws of Hakkon are a perfect summary of this character in my mind. Lavellan is not just a person in Thedas - she is a symbol. No matter where she goes, she will always be expected to be the person who once led an empire of faith and power - one built on human belief.  

This Dalish elf can't return to her clan, for they are gone in my world state. She no longer even bears the mark of a Dalish. The Inquisition is dissolved, or at the very least fractured, leaving her power fleeting and her influence tied to a cause that no longer exists. The south is in shambles. 

Some have criticized the narrative of Lavellan leaving with Solas, arguing that it is her responsibility to stay and rebuild the south. 

Says who?   

The Inquisitor’s role, the title of Herald of Andraste was tied to something otherworldly. Their purpose was to uphold the veil by destroying Corypheus, healing rifts. As a religious symbol, the Inquisitor was seen as a divine protector, a guardian against threats not of this world.  

She has fought to defend Thedas from otherworldly destruction twice. Even with the Inquisition dissolved, southern Thedas still turned to her to lead the fight there, and she did. And now, with the Veil strengthened once and for all, no one has the right to demand anything more of her.  

Solas entrusting the dagger to Rook is his acknowledgment that his time in Thedas is over. He is leaving the Veil, the boundary he once sought to tear down, in Rook’s hands to protect. An unspoken act of trust, relinquishing control.

Lavellan leaving with Solas is her own unspoken nod to Rook. She too is entrusting the future of Thedas to those who remain. Her fight is over. The burden of 'divine' leadership, of guarding what is left behind, now belongs to others of Thedas.

The Dread Wolf and Herald of Andraste can finally lay down their mantles.

The World They Can Be Together In 

Solas meant it when he said, "In another world."  

And over time, Lavellan came to that understanding as well. 

When Dorian asks her in Veilguard if she will be leaving once it’s over, she simply replies, “Something like that.” It’s a quiet acknowledgment, like she has always known the outcome before it unfolds. This short response shows how Lavellan understands Solas. She believes that if they can reach the wisdom within him - find a way for him to see another path - he will take it. It implies she has a sense of what decision Solas will make and is prepared herself.

Solas does not ask her to join him and to me this feels right. He has not earned that right, he does not deserve it. But when she offers there is no debate. He only gives a soft warning of what their path will be. She softly accepts, like she already knows.

This is a fundamental shift for Solas.

By allowing her to decide for herself, Solas is trusting her judgment and no longer dictating another's path. He no longer sees their love as something to deny. Accepting Lavellan’s choice transforms their relationship into one as equals - it won't be easy, but both are willing.

The only thing left to do is cross that boundary into a world where their love can finally exist and be free.