the-pi-group

[the-pi-group]

Types of Amnesia

Diagram created by me

General criteria for amnesia:

Memory loss

Confusion

Inability to recognize familiar figures/places

Difficulty recalling names or places

Not remembering where you went

Worser ability to remember things that had happened Post on how to handle these kinds of amnesia: click here!

Generalized Amnesia Where a person completely forgets everything about themself and have no recollection of what, where, and who they spoke to. This can describe a blackout switch and may still recognize who they are.

Localized Amnesia Where a person is unable to recall a specific/series of event from the whole, which creates an incomplete picture of the situation. For example, remembering childhood but not the abuse.

Selective Amnesia Where a person only lost some and retain the rest, forgetting parts yet not all of them. This can describe greyouts as it grasps some information/sensory yet not enough to tell what exactly happened. One example is playing the phone and unable to recall what occured, only to jump its memory right to being at bed.

Emotional Amnesia Where a person has an intact memory and it's details on what had happened, but do not remember what the event feels like (e.g. was scared, happy, etc.). One description is that you're watching something that didn't happen to you, because you don't feel like being in the scene itself.

Continuous Amnesia Where a person fails to retain full parts of the event/day, for a set period of time (can vary from minutes to days) and create an accumulative, small bits of selective amnesias, continuously, leaving many gaps in a chronological timeline. This usually happens in times or stress, or abuse.

Fragmented Amnesia Where a person has an unrelated, and/or disjointed memories that does not go with the timeline's order, creating confusion and difficult to grasp the cohesive picture of what truly happened. Emotional amnesia may be present in this type. Bonus for systems:

Amnesia barriers Where a person fronting is not able to recall other alter's memories, which is a form of retrograde amnesia and compartmentalization. Because the fronter will only retain any information before switching out with the next one, the rest experiences anterograde amnesia as it cannot form and remember those memories, unless being coconcious or cofronting (even though, this is not always guaranteed).

Take notes that amnesia can still happen outside system things due to comorbidities like anxiety disorders or depression, this does mean systems are bound to experience more amnesia compared to non-systems folks out there.

Do you have any discussions about this? Or would like to describe your own way of seeing these different types of amnesia? Or have more to add? Feel free to tell them here!

- j

[the-pi-group]

Why do we still want to do this?

Long vent post about friendship under the cut

I feel like we may have messed up our singular friendship that we have right now 😶

We probably made the mistake of telling her the details of how it feels to be apl-spec

Like we had told her before that we were apl-spec but idk if it ever really sank in

We ended up telling her about how trying to be friends with someone who we aren't attracted to is a bit of a chore

How friendships with those that we aren't attracted to is unfulfilling and tiring

Or maybe she's just bored of us / her many other friends are more interesting than us

Or out of the "honeymoon phase" of her friendship with us

Or maybe she just doesn't want to deal with our somewhat-often host changes

Like we really do love and care about her deeply but idk how we can make her understand that

I just

Idk what to do or how to convey that we still love her but we're just trying to be more open about us being apl-spec so that people don't just assume that we're instantly friends because we talk somewhat often

Idk

Maybe we're just overthinking this whole thing and we need to go to sleep

But who knows!

We sure as hell don't

[the-pi-group]

...read the tags before you proceed

Cw: self harm

This is bad

This is really fucking bad

Why do we want to split?

Why do we want to feel our head ache in pain because of this?

Why do we want to forget everything and go back to how it was before? Before we became friends with her?

Why?

It just feels right and easy

Like a simple way to reset our mind; to escape the pain

A simple way to die but not have too many people mourn us

A nice, simple, and easy way to die

Because after all, we deserve to die/feel such large amounts of pain

Long vent post about friendship under the cut

I feel like we may have messed up our singular friendship that we have right now 😶

We probably made the mistake of telling her the details of how it feels to be apl-spec

Like we had told her before that we were apl-spec but idk if it ever really sank in

We ended up telling her about how trying to be friends with someone who we aren't attracted to is a bit of a chore

How friendships with those that we aren't attracted to is unfulfilling and tiring

Or maybe she's just bored of us / her many other friends are more interesting than us

Or out of the "honeymoon phase" of her friendship with us

Or maybe she just doesn't want to deal with our somewhat-often host changes

Like we really do love and care about her deeply but idk how we can make her understand that

I just

Idk what to do or how to convey that we still love her but we're just trying to be more open about us being apl-spec so that people don't just assume that we're instantly friends because we talk somewhat often

Idk

Maybe we're just overthinking this whole thing and we need to go to sleep

But who knows!

We sure as hell don't

[the-pi-group]

I'm not sure you understand.

I'm not sure you understand how excruciatingly lonely someone can be.

How lonely do you think you'd be if you grew up hearing every day that your opinion didn't matter? That no one would be attracted to you because you're too chubby? How embarrassing your own mother thought you were? How your accomplishments were pathetic compared to hers? Hearing about all of the things that were so incredibly wrong with you. Hearing how much of a disappointment you turned out to be.

How lonely do you think you'd be if the only people available to make friends with cared exclusively about the one thing you couldn't do no matter how hard you tried? If everything you ever cared about was considered evil and got taken from you the moment you found it? What if you knew that the moment you were finally free to be a person, everyone you ever loved would abandon you for it? That they would decide they never wanted to see or speak to you again? Every single one. What if you realized you were alone before that even happens? What if you realized all the love you've ever experienced in life was fake?

How lonely do you think you'd be if you grew up so different from everyone else around you that you didn't even feel human? What if you were made to believe that you didn't deserve to exist? What if you were told you were going to die a horrific death for being everything you were inside?

How lonely would you be if you spent every night terrified and trying desperately to cover up your sobbing because you can't tell anyone about any of it?

What would you do?

What would you do to have a friend? What would you do to have anyone? How desperate do you think you'd be? How would you even accomplish that if you weren't allowed to talk to anyone else outside of your family and their friends? Where could you possibly find someone else to connect with someone as awkward, strange, angry, and sad as you? Someone who could know about all of the things inside of you and still love you.

I made someone.

I gave him my passion, my strength, my courage, my confidence, my sense of adventure, my stubbornness, my sense of loyalty, my sense of humor. I gave him my love of dinosaurs, my love of cars, my love of horror movies, my love of 80's music. I had his entire life figured out. I named him. I thought of him whenever I was lonely, which was always. He was the only way I could safely love and be loved by in return. He never went away. Why would he? He's my best friend.

What good would memory barriers have done? How useful would it be if we didn't even get along? What purpose would there be if it caused me any distress to have Alex?

True loneliness can be traumatizing.

Non-disordered plurality can exist.

Created headmates can be life saving.

[the-pi-group]

It can be a bit difficult at times to explain how our weird little soupy subsystem exists and functions within our overall system, so to provide a bit of a visual aid, we made a quick... comic? Infographic? Whatever this is!

[the-pi-group]

It’s interesting how there are at least 2 types of “I don’t remember that.”

1. Not remembering until the memory gets triggered/ you are confronted with evidence, and then you do remember.

2. Absolutely no evidence will bring back the memory. The memory does not exist anymore. That wasn’t me. Nope. Didn’t happen.

And then there’s “I have been told about this, and while I do not remember it, I know that it is factually correct. How do I know? I don’t know.”

I don’t even know what my point is, it’s just interesting to think about. Memories are weird, dissociation is weird. The way the highly traumatized young mind deals with memories is weird.

[the-pi-group]

struggling with your identity?

try dissociation!!

dissociating from my identity worked great for the last 20 years.

i mean i am 6 people now but im sure thats completely unrelated.

[the-pi-group]

people dont talk about how liberating syscovery can be. we didnt see ourselves as a person, we were a loose conglomerate of traits shifting and changing like the tectonic plates. no sexuality because it would change too often, my gender could only be described as vaguely male because it would change too often, couldnt have a music taste either which led us to stick to the same 2 or 3 artists since, even if we didnt like them, we knew them. and because it would change too often. my friends would tell me that i need to get a style and an aesthetic and a way to dress but i couldnt because my clothing preferences would change so often. i would think i had it all figured out one week and then hate it the next. eventually i stopped trying.

its been nice to get to know myself. who i am now even if that might be a different person tomorrow. i like old music from the 60s and 70s. i like dark clothes and long sleeves. im bisexual! i like minecraft. i feel so real. i feel so much better. my friends still all think im weird and inconsistent. but at least now im weird and inconsistent with a purpose.

[the-pi-group]

it’s terrifying to not remember. like what do you mean it’s not normal to remember these things, am i supposed to know these things? will i ever be able to remember? these memories are just all blurry and fuzzy. it feels like we’ll forget everything in our life. maybe one of us holds all the memories. probably. but what will our friends, our family think when we can’t recall events that happened? are our memories being stolen from us? not remembering is probably making us happier anyways, but it feels like a false sense of security.

[the-pi-group]

Plural culture is blowing up and then acting like I don't know nobody!! Because I don't know nobody!!! Who r u???!! I forgor

[the-pi-group]

Types of Amnesia

Diagram created by me

General criteria for amnesia:

Memory loss

Confusion

Inability to recognize familiar figures/places

Difficulty recalling names or places

Not remembering where you went

Worser ability to remember things that had happened

Generalized Amnesia Where a person completely forgets everything about themself and have no recollection of what, where, and who they spoke to. This can describe a blackout switch and may still recognize who they are.

Localized Amnesia Where a person is unable to recall a specific/series of event from the whole, which creates an incomplete picture of the situation. For example, remembering childhood but not the abuse.

Selective Amnesia Where a person only lost some and retain the rest, forgetting parts yet not all of them. This can describe greyouts as it grasps some information/sensory yet not enough to tell what exactly happened. One example is playing the phone and unable to recall what occured, only to jump its memory right to being at bed.

Emotional Amnesia Where a person has an intact memory and it's details on what had happened, but do not remember what the event feels like (e.g. was scared, happy, etc.). One description is that you're watching something that didn't happen to you, because you don't feel like being in the scene itself.

Continuous Amnesia Where a person fails to retain full parts of the event/day, for a set period of time (can vary from minutes to days) and create an accumulative, small bits of selective amnesias, continuously, leaving many gaps in a chronological timeline. This usually happens in times or stress, or abuse.

Fragmented Amnesia Where a person has an unrelated, and/or disjointed memories that does not go with the timeline's order, creating confusion and difficult to grasp the cohesive picture of what truly happened. Emotional amnesia may be present in this type. Bonus for systems:

Amnesia barriers Where a person fronting is not able to recall other alter's memories, which is a form of retrograde amnesia and compartmentalization. Because the fronter will only retain any information before switching out with the next one, the rest experiences anterograde amnesia as it cannot form and remember those memories, unless being coconcious or cofronting (even though, this is not always guaranteed).

Take notes that amnesia can still happen outside system things due to comorbidities like anxiety disorders or depression, this does mean systems are bound to experience more amnesia compared to non-systems folks out there.

Do you have any discussions about this? Or would like to describe your own way of seeing these different types of amnesia? Or have more to add? Feel free to tell them here!

- j

[the-pi-group]

Some body thoughts

[the-pi-group]

polyfrag culture is am i pronoun fluid or am i just another collection of fragments acting as host?

.

[the-pi-group]

Polyfragmented culture is feeling guilty when splitting, because that part is now stuck holding that and only that for the foreseeable future

.

[the-pi-group]

Polyfrag culture is "Hello, several new people that just formed from the tiniest stressor known to man. How are you."

.

[the-pi-group]

[the-pi-group]

Idk maybe that's why