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This is making me cry actually

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“Joker, I know you don’t like it, but I’m gonna be your mom” -Alfred

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Why does Jonathan Crane use old farm tools when he could weaponize something modern like a combine harvester

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Nine hybrid beasts

1. The front half of a baby attached to the back half of a puppy. Should in theory be cute. Is definitely waggy. Front half runs faster than back half crawls. Possibly a baby werewolf caught mid-transform, but if not then you are definitely safe.

2. The head, front legs and torso of a horse, with the body from shoulders-downwards of human attached at the back. Exists in roughly equal numbers to more straightforward centaurs, but for some reason not invited to the myth party. Arms may seem extraneous, but are actually very useful for slapping flies away and scratching belly itches. Additionally they are useful in putting on the back half of a pantomime horse costume, allowing the creature to infiltrate horse society almost unnoticed.

3. The top half of a human attached, via a tragic misunderstanding at the myth factory, to the body and all four legs of a fine mahogany desk. Unfortunately ticklish in the storage area. If only the top half were the other way round, it would be easier to fit in at the desk job. With a pair of plastic legs it is usually possible to pretend to be lounging, though.

4. Body of a cat with a head of lettuce. Always a surprise when you come to pick it out of the vegetable patch. Legend has it that this hybrid first in those parts of the world where people habitually put bacon on lettuce, the result of a tragic miscalculation by a magical cat who was fond of bacon.

5. The top half of a clarinet, revealed on closer inspection to be a cello below the waist. It haunts the labyrinthine dreams of composers. Sometimes it is captured and held in a museum, but it always manages to escape; usually by conspiring with its fellow instruments in the gallery to lull a passing composer to sleep and surf out on their emergent dreams.

6. The head and front legs of a horse, attached to the body and all four legs of a horse. Has the choice of walking along either with the front bit sticking in the air or the back bit sticking up in the air. To suit people who need more horse. This is more horse than you can handle.

7. A hybrid being the top half of which is human and the bottom part of which is made completely and solely out of being afraid of the dark. This may not be immediately apparent, as the bottom half is still capable of wearing trousers. Do not invite this being into your home. You will never turn off the lights again. The electricity bill will be mythic.

8. A bus from the waist up that is a train from the waist down. Does a bus have a waist? Clearly, you have never seen one in a tutu. Does a train have a waist? If it did not, all companies selling train belts would go bankrupt at once. Anyway, these creatures wander the train lines at night, occasionally under the guise of maintenance vehicles or for the purpose of clearing leaves off the line.

9. A hybrid monster that is a dolphin from the waist down, and from the waist upwards is the entire Pacific Ocean. There is only one such creature in the world, and most of those who sail upon it are completely unaware of its hybrid nature. It can be confusing to come across the tail, so the ocean part usually arranges currents such that ships never encounter it.

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Anyway, I'd like to remind everyone that genocide is still being committed in Gaza, not just with guns and bombs but with disease and starvation.

Please take a moment to support humanitarian efforts there:

Islamic Relief Fund USA

Medical Aid for Palestinians UK

Palestinian Children's Relief Fund

Medecins Sans Frontiers

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Relatable

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Old Man Tumblr

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

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Walter Melon

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careful man, my girlfriend is on this app

shit, is she dangerous?

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JOKER: The truth is I am not a monster. JOKER: And I am not afraid. JOKER: I just want to live. JOKER: I want to live… …and make new friends. …and have fun doing it. …and have a nice, long, happy life. …and don’t worry, I’m always with you.

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Baltimore city employees strike, demand to be paid in US dollars rather than “Baltimoney”

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Baltimore city employees strike, demand to be paid in US dollars rather than “Baltimoney”

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Baltimore city employees strike, demand to be paid in US dollars rather than “Baltimoney”