thebloggerryan-blog
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thebloggerryan-blog Ā· 8 years ago
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Dear Mama
Hello everyone (probably no one)! I’m taking part of a poetry writing challenge where I attempt to write a poem a day every day for the month of November. I hope anyone reading enjoys! Side note: I struggled with the third poem. I wrote ideas down. This poem had to be aĀ ā€œDisguiseā€ poem, and I looked through my collection and realized I already had a poem that fit the theme well. Here it is!
Dear Mama
I still remember finding you in the bathroom.
Your eyes were purple and I swear the ash
was longer than the cigarette ever was.
I shook you hoping that this wasn’t the
last time I’d wake you from a nap before
you nodded yourself back to sleep.
I thought it was the first time I’d call out
ā€œMamaā€ and you wouldn’t be there.
I never blamed you for swallowing pills
like candy and needing them like water.
They helped numb your back from the
constant carrying life forced you to do,
and blurred all those days you mistook
our home for a concentration camp
and your husband for Hitler. Life
got hard, and you found a way of
turning reality into less of a nightmare.
Your children could only throw fishing
lines so far, as you sunk deeper into
an ocean of drugs
dragged
down
by weights called husband.
You wanted to swim closer to their fishing
lines, I know you did, but how could I
expect you to when holding your breath
was easier than opening your eyes.
Your purple eyelids were blinds that
the pills put up to protect you from
this poison light of reality that scorched
your insides. Regret of not rescuing
your family from that burning building
we called home sooner made it easier
to hide yourself behind blinds and drown
in that ocean, but that same purple
revealed bruises to me you’d spent your life
covering up like parental hide and go seek.
But for the first time I could see you Mom.
In that moment that you can’t remember
and wish you could forget; I found you.
You accepted bruises daily to stop your
babies from hurting like any Mom would,
but I don’t regret finding them. I found
you. You stopped hiding.
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thebloggerryan-blog Ā· 8 years ago
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Tercet Poem
Hello everyone (probably no one)! I’m taking part of a poetry writing challenge where I attempt to write a poem a day every day for the month of November. I hope anyone reading enjoys!Ā Ā 
Triumph at Three Ages
I am eight years old
I am sixteen years old
I am twenty-four years old
I am hung from the wall like a crooked painting.
I am crumpled in a prison on my happiest days.
I don’t know where I am.
I am losing breath, to fingers on my throat.
I am tightening the locks of every cell.
I don’t know where I am.
I am trying to scream for help.
I am trying to forget how to speak.
I don’t know what to say.
I am dying silently.
I am dying silently.
...
I am tearing away the grip that keeps me silent.
I am walking on days I don’t want to.
I don’t know what to do.
I am breathing as a means of defiance.
I am breathing as a means of moving forward.
I don’t know what to do.
I am not letting abuse control my voice.
I am not letting depression control my voice.
I don’t know what to do.
I am finally free.
I am finally free.
I am not free...
But I have been here before.
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thebloggerryan-blog Ā· 8 years ago
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Pantoum Poem
Hello everyone (probably no one)! I’m taking part of a poetry writing challenge where I attempt to write a poem a day every day for the month of November. I hope anyone reading enjoys! Addiction
Addiction is the sweetest drug,
Taste of brownies burns my guts.
No, no, no… Just say no, but
tomorrow I can start brand new.
Taste of brownies burns my guts
Why stop at one? It’s not enough.
Tomorrow I can start brand new.
Repeat the cycle, it’s what you do.
Why stop at one? It’s not enough.
More addiction. It’s what I love.
Sex, computers, games, and more
I want it all and nothing more.
More addiction. It’s what I love.
Addiction is the sweetest drug.
I want it all and nothing more.
No, no no…. Just say no.
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thebloggerryan-blog Ā· 8 years ago
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The Last of Us Part 2 Trailer 2 Analysis
Ryan Toscano
10/30/2017
Recap:
So the second trailer for The Last of Us Part 2 has dropped, and while there was no gameplay, no Ellie, and no Joel, there is still a ton to take away from this trailer. The opening black is coated with the sounds of rain and thunder in a forest. We are looking up into the trees until the camera moves down revealing two hooded figures dragging someone into the dense forest. One of these figures looks like a large man, and the other a women, so I can’t be the only one who was wondering if this was Joel and Ellie.
It isn’t. Instead we see a couple of big ā€œgoonā€ types, and a braid haired woman who seems to be some sort of cult leader. We’ll get to this in a little bit. The scene is in The Last of Us fashion, and by that I mean grim. The only source of light is from the source of a torched car, and hanging in the trees are bodies… gutted bodies. And unfortunately for the lady being dragged in the woods, this seems to be her fate, as she is swiftly strung up by her neck and promptly lifted. A bucket to tip toe on the only means to prevent asphyxiation.
The women reveals herself to her apparent victim and takes out her shiv. ā€œYou are nested with sinā€ she claims just before lifting her shirt and placing that blade upon her belly. ā€œNestedā€ is such a perfect word here in this world. Creating ā€œnestsā€ is exactly what clickers do. From underground subway systems to college dorms, nests are clickers specialty. Just this simple choice of word creates a level of horror. Then the braided women tells her to ā€œbreathe inā€ which can’t help but bring my mind to the fungal spores of the infected.
A scream from the woods sends a goon off to the forest, and he comes back with another goon, holding a young girl by her arms. This girl is named Yara. We learn this from the braided cult leader as she approaches. I say ā€œcult leaderā€ because she specifically calls Yara (and Lev, we’ll get to him soon) anā€œapostate.ā€ An apostate is someone who renounces a religious OR political belief. One small detail later in the trailer leads me to lean on the religious end of the spectrum. This being when Lev refers to the infected/clickers as ā€œdemons.ā€
Upon the cult leader requesting to know where ā€œthe other apostateā€ is, Yara spits in her face. A defiance that brings me back to Ellie snapping David’s finger during the incredible ā€œWinterā€ sequence of the first game. This leads to another interesting use of dialog, when the goons are ordered to ā€œclip her (Yara’s) wings.ā€ There is one true as blue winged animal that is a focus in The Last of Us and that is a firefly.
Yara’s left arm is brutally smashed in with a hammer. This is the kind of brutality you get with The Last of Us, and the scene continues to deliver when an arrow pierces through the face of the goon ready to smash Yara’s remaining working arm, and then another through his heart. Lev is apparently a damn good shot. Ā The distraction allows Yara to grab the hammer and smash the face of goon #2.
Yara raises to her feet grabbing the hammer, as cult leader raises her gun, only to be distracted from a shot in the woods. All this time leaves the viewer, and the cult leader, to forget about the chick they noosed up on the tree. She wraps her legs around the cult leader's throat, slowing her down just enough for Yara to smash the sharp end of the hammer through the cult leader’s temple. The first struggle is over and it’s wake the women left on the noose is left dangling without a bucket, choking.
Lev reveals himself from the woods, claims that the ā€œdemons are coming,ā€ and is told by Yara to ā€œcut her down.ā€ He denies her at first, claiming that she’s ā€œone of them,ā€ but is convinced when Yara tells him again more sternly. Not only does Yara understand that without her, she would likely be dead, but also if the ā€œdemonsā€ are coming, someone is going to have to make up for her broken arm.
The three stars of the trailers are revealed to us in an Avengers like camera pan. The lady that was hung up is extremely jacked, holding the hammer just pulled out of the head of the dead cult leader. Lev has his bow pulled back, looking from side to side as the rustling and groans from the infected draw nearer. Yara is holding the shiv up in her right arm, as her broken left arms hangs at her side. Yara and Lev are told to ā€œwatch their backs,ā€ the violin music picks up slightly, and a vicious pack of clickers comes their way.
Analysis:Ā 
There is so much good stuff to take away from this trailer. I want to start with the religious aspects of the trailer, and how it projects the tale we are getting from The Last of us Part 2. ā€œApostateā€ is the big clue here in the trailer, along with the word choice of ā€œdemonā€, but the tiny touches in the trailer really bang the point home. The whole vibe of the trailer screams ā€œsatanist sacrifice.ā€
From the very beginning we are looking at figures cloaked in black, dragging someone away to be hung up and displayed. The only source of light in this trailer is a fire of a burning car. Fire and satan are obvious connection, but then the gutted bodies hung up on the trees make my mind jump to human sacrifice. The leader of the goons talks of ā€œsinā€ is an obvious nod to religion. Even the string instrument that plays throughout the trailer creates the music that is often so associated with church.
The strongest moment in my mind, is when Yara is being held down in order to have her ā€œwings clipped.ā€ When she is laid out on the ground Ā her arm are stretched out horizontally, and her legs are pulled straight down. The goons holding her down are using a hammer to smash her arms in. This scene isn’t just a girl being tortured, this is directly using Yara as a symbol of Jesus. Of course it is done its very own The Last of Us way, because instead of having Ā her hands and feet nailed to a cross, she is getting her ā€œwingsā€ bludgeoned on the cold dirt.
In my recap I mentioned that the word ā€œwingsā€ was an easy reference to make towards firefly’s, but what if it’s something else? In religion, angels are known for their halo’s and their wings. Is this trailer insinuating that Yara is an angel of this world in some way?
While we’re looking into the symbolism of Yara the character, it’s also important to think of what this name means. I have found three different meanings for the name water that I’ll break down in order of importance. The first meaning is Brazilian, and in that culture Yara is a name that represents ā€œwater lady.ā€ The trailer is covered in rain. Other than this I can’t reason anything in particular with what we’re given.
The second meaning is Persian, and in that culture, Yara means ā€œsomeone you love.ā€ Obviously Lev is a pretty good first choice as this someone. They look like they could be brother and sister, and their bond may be a relationship that The Last of Us Part 2 looks to explore just as much as Joel’s and Ellie’s relationship. This could also just mean how the player is going to feel about Yara. For as amazing as Joel is as a character, it’s easy to claim that the character players latched on to in The Last of Us was Ellie. With Ellie’s rage seemingly at a pinnacle for the sequel, Yara may be the character that you truly love. The character that you hope and pray gets out of the sequel unscathed, more so than any of the other characters.
It is the third meaning of the name Yara that really makes me think. This meaning is in arabic, and it is ā€œsmall butterfly.ā€ For one let's get this out of the way, Yara is young, she is small. Butterfly is the key word here. I keep being drawn back to ā€œclip her wings.ā€ Maybe this doesn’t refer to a firefly, or an angel, but a butterfly. Upon looking up the word ā€œbutterflyā€ you find out that a butterfly is a symbol of Ā endurance, hope, and life. Even more important is that in religion, a butterfly is symbolic of resurrection.
This meaning behind the name Yara as well as the hanging from the cross symbolism, really pits Yara as a symbol for Jesus. But what would the Jesus of this post fungus-apocalypse world be? With Christianity, Jesus died for our sins, and then later resurrected. You would think that Ellie’s character would be more fitting for the symbolism that they are putting on display for Yara. For me I am unsure, but I love seeing the clues that Neil Druckmann and company are leaving for us, and I’m so excited to see how this story puts those pieces into motion.
The Last of Us was a game that was all about the pitfalls of government. From the onset when panic caused the murder of Joel’s daughter, to the revolution in Pittsburgh (as well as other location) that led to nothing more than more violence, to the firefly’s themselves who were willing to stop at nothing to push their cause. At every turn you were being told a story about government tyranny and oppression. It seems like The Last of Us Part 2 looks to tackles the flip side of the same coin. I of course don’t have all the answers, and by the end of this soon to be masterpiece, I’m sure I’ll be left with more questions. I just can’t wait for the ride to officially begin.Ā 
Quick Notes:
Lev is incredible with that bow. One through the face, and the next through the heart!
Lev is a Russian baby name that means ā€˜lion.ā€ This trailer alone made me fall in love with all three of these characters, especially Yara and Lev. I’m excited to see how the traits of a lion will embody in his c Lev. The most obvious turn is potentially to his courage, but The Last of Us is a series that likes to swerve.
Lev is a Russian baby name that means ā€˜lion.ā€ This trailer alone made me fall in love with all three of these characters, especially Yara and Lev. I’m excited to see how the traits of a lion will embody in his c Lev. The most obvious turn is potentially to his courage, but The Last of Us is a series that likes to swerve.
The lady being hung like a scarecrow is absolutely jacked! I would not want to see a brawl between her and Tess break out… Or maybe I would? How much are the tickets?
I truly believe that Yara could end up stealing the show in The Last of Us Part 2. We have already seen so much awesomeness from this clip that’s less than six minutes. Her defiance to spit in that woman’s face, her triumph when she plows that hammer through her skull, and her intelligence when she insisted that Lev ā€œcut her down.ā€
There may have also been quite the gameplay clue hidden in this CGI trailer. Neil Druckmann has announced that this was anĀ ā€œin game cutscene.ā€ Since this is the case, we can assume that you fight that pack of clickers right after. The nameless character of the trailer picks up a hammer, so a hammer seems like it just may be a new melee weapon! How brutalizing, and fitting, is that for The Last of Us?
I’m not the greatest at understanding musical scores, let’s get that out of the way. It seemed to me the music that lifted at the end of the trailer, just before the arrival of the clickers, was the same notes from the main theme of The Last of Us, but done with a violin and not a guitar. If so it is just another beautiful touch on a beautiful game.Ā 
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