thecoldestoftakes

[thecoldestoftakes]

Okay, that makes more sense about OSDD 2. My genuine understanding of OSDD 2 was that it was a dissociative disorder from cult/military/organizational conditioning/programming, which confused me why a new unrecognized term was being coined in the community to describe something that already existed (that term being "HC-DID" and "EC-DID" and seeing some folks push them like recognized diagnostic labels)

Also. There's already a diagnosis for programmed systems it's OSDD 2?

[thecoldestoftakes]

I post one sentence and i clock in

20 notes?????

[thecoldestoftakes]

Also. There's already a diagnosis for programmed systems it's OSDD 2?

[thecoldestoftakes]

Poking up from the dirt to say how do these "hc did programmed with a script" systems claim to have 1000+ alters and then the script they claim to have doesn't even have that many characters

[thecoldestoftakes]

Me: says I'm not reading replies

This guy for some reason: replies

[thecoldestoftakes]

Watch Out For Online Cults

A lot of talk about cults and manipulative people in the community is focused on an in-person level. Things that an in-person group will do, how their control extends into your offline life, but cult behaviors and mindsets can absolutely be used online and may not be as visible or as obvious. Here’s a small, incomplete checklist of things to watch out for, red flags and the like. (Note: I’m not talking about any specific group or individuals here. None of these on their own make a cult, but a lot of them together can potentially mark a toxic environment at least. This isn’t intended to be a diagnostic tool, just things to analyze and reflect on. Please always be safe and don’t let yourself stay in toxic environments whether they “count” as a cult or not.)  

The “leader” can do no wrong. They are not capable of truly making mistakes, or any misstep they do make is quickly explained away or defended by their followers. Any criticism is quickly punished, labeled as problematic, or otherwise shut down. Online, people will often sing the praises of or “lovebomb” the leader after these incidents.

It’s Us vs. Them. Anybody who criticizes the group is an enemy. Anybody who chooses not to be a member of the group must have something wrong with them. Critics/people on the outside just don’t “get it” like they do. The “outside” may be painted as threatening/the group as a safe haven, and opposing viewpoints should not be given any attention, even to consider them critically. You’re discouraged from joining other similar groups.

Using social justice lingo as a way to control people. Manipulators can speak the language too. They may bring up gaslighting, gatekeeping, policing, invalidation, and other things and accuse an individual or group in order to either guilt the person into acquiescing or vilify them to the other members. This is a really effective tactic for shutting someone down.

The leader is elevated or enlightened in some way. They claim to be a deity, or at least closer to the divine/enlightenment than you. They have a more effective/direct line of communication with spirits or entities.They have wisdom or knowledge you must stay with them to take part in. 

Dictating parts of your online life. Members must change their names, icons, speech/typing patterns, etc. to conform to the group. The rules for behavior in an online setting go beyond what is needed to maintain order. Members may be asked to do a lot to “prove” they deserve to be/stay in the group. 

You’re scared to leave. You can’t imagine your online life without this group. You feel like you need the community/resources it provides you. You’re worried members will turn against you if you leave. You’re worried that leaving or voicing concern about the group will have negative repercussions on other platforms. 

[thecoldestoftakes]

I'll leave everything up for posterity's sake on this blog but I want to issue an official apology for supporting the excuse of a pedophile in a server I was staff in.

I was being groomed. And that server I was so willing to ruin my reputation for is a cult.

OtherAdvice is a cult.

Being groomed by pedophiles was a whole separate but also somehow involved situation that I will not be sharing too many details about because I am still not in a good place to talk about it and I don't want to risk retaliation from those parties.

I'm not scared of OA or its staff at this point though. And that I'm willing to speak out about.

This blog is anti-MAP, though due to the nature of my trauma I will not be engaging in that brand of discourse.

I was scared what would happen if I didn't agree with the leader. The leader was in distress and I had to stand behind him and fix it for him. If it hurt the leader it had to be bad.

I apologize to anyone who got wrapped up in it though I doubt anyone is really following this blog.

[thecoldestoftakes]

“Local blogger who spends almost all their free time on a website literally infested with radfems claims they came up with the idea that kinks are evil all on their own. Quoted saying, “I mean, yeah, their core ideals are really really bad, no one’s arguing that, but some of their core ideals are actually kind of banger, y’know?”. More to follow.” 

[thecoldestoftakes]

a writer who writes the most fucked up “dead dove: do not eat” problematic pairing and fully tags and warns for the content they create will always be worthy of more respect in my eyes than people who call others weirdos because of who they ship. This is because a writer who writes disturbing things but gives me plenty of warning about them has demonstrated, regardless of what happens in the fic, that they value the consent of real people, and that they value my consent to see such content and will always offer me the option to avoid or withdraw. On the other hand, a purity cultist who demands I explain my trauma and exactly why I might be drawn to dark content, regardless of whether they’re the purest fluff writer to ever write, has demonstrated a lack of respect for my boundaries and the attitude that they are entitled to whatever they want to take from me. 

There are a lot of things that bother me about purity culture, but I think the most disturbing is that it clouds the very definition of consent, and then teaches this confusing version (you must consent to deep dives into your trauma and how it affects you for the benefit of strangers who have already decided you’re a bad person, and not consenting to that automatically makes you an abuser, also no one can consent to reading or thinking about disturbing content ever because thinking about it means you want it irl) to young, vulnerable, and often traumatized individuals, thus making it harder to understand their trauma and easier for them to ignore the real warning signs of abuse (like demanding that you agree with the abuser otherwise you’re literally the worst and most harmful person ever) because it teaches that abusers only come in one type, and that all abusers are “nasty shippers”.

This is especially dangerous because real life abusers teach their victims that the abuse is happening because the victim is a bad, evil person. One of the diagnostic criteria for PTSD is literally “Places undue blame on themself or others for what happened”. Teaching traumatized people that consent is a luxury only “good” people are allowed to have is incompatible with support for abuse survivors. tl;dr a writer who tags “dead dove: do not eat” has demonstrated respect for the necessity of consent. A purity cultist who sends anon hate has demonstrated a lack of respect for consent. 

[thecoldestoftakes]

indie spirit awards truly on another level...

[thecoldestoftakes]

How do different identities accept and reject the label “queer?”

Patreon

Ko-fi

2018 Survey

Results

Archive Link

Overall, queer was approved of by 72.9% of respondents, with 37.2% of respondents specifying queer was their preferred umbrella term.

Queer is the most widely preferred umbrella term, and the 3rd most approved of umbrella term, behind LGBT+ and LGBTQ+.

Groups that do not prefer the use of queer as an umbrella are: straight respondents, exclusionst-identifying respondents, transmedicalists, truscum, sex-negative respondents, and sex work critical respondents.

Queer as an umbrella was preferred above other umbrella terms by all gender identities, and by all orientation groups other than straight.

Keep reading

[thecoldestoftakes]

Tfw u know ur protector is gonna kick ur butt for staying up so late

He lurk

[thecoldestoftakes]

More 1am discourse posts. As a sex-indifferent aroace what baffles me is the ridiculous pushback against fans who ship canonically aroace characters in fandom spaces. Aroace doesn't immediately mean sex-repulsed.

Just because someone doesn't experience attraction to a person necessarily doesn't fuck or doesn't date. There's other kinds of attraction. And sex can be fun without attraction involved.

As an ace, ship the dang radio demon with the spider boy it's literally fine you're fine

[thecoldestoftakes]

I did see the original post and I found myself laughing at it because it really didn't age well with the launch trailer.

I think the original post had some merit in criticizing a trend, but criticizing a trend should never be a means to attack people individually. These things are societal and are a symptom rather than the disease.

I do agree that people will draw whatever and policing it is rather pointless on this level.

The tone of OP here is just rather bad and the wording is in poor taste. But I believe the point still stands that the post we were speaking about and OP's post here were both just. Bad posts.

YO

I suddenly remember a post here on Tumblr from a guy who’s “gonna blacklisting everyone who will draw Revenant as a white guy”. As a motivation, it was written they hate white people, and when another guy told that was racist (bc IT WAS) I think they deleted the post.

I  would like to say:

First of all, an artist can draw everything they fucking want.

Second thing, Blacklist this, you ugly racist.

Friendly reminder: if you hate white people, yeah dude. That is racism too.

[thecoldestoftakes]

Should I bring syscourse into this blog yeah or unyeah

[thecoldestoftakes]

Assimilationist gays repeat the same rhetoric as conservatives and that’s a fact.

If you’re making fun of the angry queers, the punk queers with funny hair, the ones who dress funny and augment their bodies, the ones who thrive through drag and kink and polyamory, the ones who reject the 2.5 kids and a white picket fence, then guess what?

You have sided with the status quo, and I do not trust you.

[thecoldestoftakes]

the-reylo-void presents: “Things I Wish I’d Understood as an Anti”

So as most of you know, I have a more personal connection to anti-shipping than most: for about two years, I was arguably the nastiest and most vicious anti in my fandom, so much so that I gained a certain level of infamy for it. 

Starting to ship Reylo was a wakeup call the likes of which I’d never encountered before — not only did it cause me to examine my own past behavior and confront the extremely difficult revelation that I’d been the villain all along, but it also made me think about anti-shipping as a whole, and the things I wish I had understood when  I was knee-deep in that mindset. 

Things like:

1. People’s enjoyment of things that hurt you is not blithe mockery of your pain. It is not a personal slight. You are allowed to be hurt by something. You are not allowed to belittle, degrade, and shame others for interacting with it. You are not that important, and your pain is not a weapon. 

2. The moment you commit yourself to a movement devoted to hatred, you have ceded the moral high ground. You have gone to the Dark Side. You are not fighting the good fight. You are an emotional terrorist actively attempting to break people down for disagreeing with you. 

3. You also cede the right to be a victim. No one deserves to be suicide baited or doxxed, and neither do you. However, by aligning yourself with hatred, by actively harming others and laughing about it, you forfeit your right to be upset and morally outraged when you receive hate, when others comment in disagreement with your posts, when you are cast as a villain. You are not being bullied. You are receiving back just a taste of the pain you have caused others. 

4. You. Are. Miserable. You really are. Happy, fulfilled people don’t marinate themselves in hatred. They don’t drink acid and spit it at others. You’re so desperate to avoid looking at yourself and so afraid of what you’ll see there that you’re directing all of that hatred outwards. You found a group of people who like something that makes you angry, and it’s so easy to attack them, to hurt them because you’ve convinced yourself that they’re “bad” somehow and they deserve it. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. It’s about all those dark things you hear at night. It’s the fear that you’re worthless. And it’s the high you get, the ego boost every time someone cheers you on for attacking the “bad” shippers. It’s the feeling that you’re so smart, you’re so popular, you’re so loved and you’re so, so right for everything you’re doing.

But those people aren’t there for you at night. They won’t be there when your world falls apart. All that’s left is you, and your misery, and the desperate need to make someone else hurt for it because you can’t handle it. 

5. And most importantly: you’re wrong. You are wrong. Your thought process is wrong. Your behavior is wrong. Everything that you are doing as you torture and harm others and convince yourself that you’re morally justified IS. WRONG. 

One day you’re going to realize that, and you’ll choke on it. 

And if you did that a thousand times, it still wouldn’t be equal to all of the harm you caused. 

And you can distract and deflect and justify all you want. In the end, all of those people who cheered you on will be gone. Your popularity will be gone. And all you’ll have is yourself, and every ounce of misery and self-hatred you tried and failed to run from, that you drilled into others, and the realization that even though you thought you were the hero of your fandom, in reality, you were the monster you were trying so hard to protect everyone from.