thecultofthomasthetankengine

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

fuck it 10 pm post we like to party

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

The Boopening?!

Thomas the Tank Engine will not be pleased to hear about this... April Fools NONSENSE! He is strict and he is unforgiving, he will choo choo CHEW you out if you so DARE boopen him!

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

"average person joins 7 cults a year" factoid is actually a statistical error, average person only joins one cult called the Cult of Thomas the Tank Engine. Terms tanktrain, who lives in a train station and joins 10 million cults a year is an outlier and should not be included

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

Good afternoon Tumblr!

In this post we would like to answer three commonly asked questions;

Can dogs join the cult?

Well, yes! Of course they can! Anyone and anything can join our cult, just as long as they provide the mandatory donation of ten human teeth! We repeat; human teeth.

Is there an age requirement to join the cult?

No, not at all! A baby can join our cult, your grandmother can join our cult, you can join our cult. Anyone can join us, all you need is ten adult human teeth!

Why did the cult start a Tumblr account ?

Well, this app is the best place for activity that is usually free from mainstream media, and we don't particularly want to be put in the spotlight as Thomas the Tank Engine is rather shy.

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

hello daddy Thomas. do I still have to donate teeth if I was personally invited info the cult by the current leader? additionally, if I DO donate teeth, do they have to be my own? or will any adult human teeth do?

Greetings Dear Follower!

We are so happy to have you join our cult, and we are even more glad to hear you have been personally invited into our cult! To answer your question about the teeth, they don't have to be yours and they can also be any kind of tooth, though Thomas the Tank Engine does prefer molars/premolars because of their size, incisors and cuspids are also accepted.

Also, just a friendly reminder; the teeth are a mandatory sacrifice, as stated in the cult rules, they are required as a fee to join the cult.

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

"Choo-choo, I desire teeth."

-Thomas the Tank Engine

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

Thomas the Tank Engine Monday!

Choo-choo it's Thomas the Tank Engine Monday! You know what that means.

Everyone has to deposit their teeth into the Tooth Bucket! Chop chop everyone, let's not keep Thomas the Tank Engine waiting.

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

Hey look, do whatever you like but the teeth thing is really weird in an unsettling way. Perhaps reconsider.

Hello! We thank you for the opinion, but changing the teeth requirement is unfortunately not an option. Thomas the Tank Engine is not willing to make any changes to his recipe as the teeth are an integral part of how the cookies get their flavour.

[thecultofthomasthetankengine]

Join the Cult!

Hello tumblr users! This is a member of the Thomas the Tank Engine Cult here, we are so thrilled to be a part of this community and we hope you welcome us as much as we welcome you into our cult.

This post will contain the necessary information you need to know about our cult!

What is the Thomas the Tank Engine Cult?

We are a cult entirely devoted to Thomas the Tank Engine. We believe that his tank engine-ness is absolutely omnipotent and the media that birthed him is biblical in its nature! For the three years we have been in operation (starting in 2020) we have not been very active, only putting up the occasional poster that didn't even list a contact for queries! We have finally decided to upgrade, choosing this wonderful site as the main outlet for our cult.

Is the Thomas the Tank Engine Cult an Actual Cult?

To put it simply, its a secret! Keeping the fact of whether the Thomas the Tank Engine Cult is an actual cult or not a secret leaves it up to your interpretation, which frankly makes it much more fun!

Should I Join the Cult of Thomas the Tank Engine?

Yes! Absolutely. Joining the Thomas the Tank Engine Cult is a one in a life-time opportunity to be a part of a cult that will absolutely not steal any of your teeth (even though the entry fee to the cult is a bag containing ten adult human teeth, you can take these out on your own accord) and there are also many other great reasons you should join, such as the free, freshly baked cookies by Thomas the Tank Engine himself. Which other cults include cookies baked by their god?

How do I Join?

Well well well dear reader, it's not as difficult as you may think to join a cult like ours, all you need to do is interact with one of our posts or message us, giving us affirmation you would like to join. (e.g. "I am cult member now :)" or "Yippee! Take my teeth!") There is also an entry fee however to this cult, which is a bag of ten adult human teeth. We cannot stress the fact that these teeth need to be adult teeth, as we have had a few confrontations with the tooth fairy about taking baby teeth which are "rightfully hers". Can't argue with tiny, angry fairies after all. Because they bite. We prefer that you clean these teeth beforehand, though it is not mandatory.

Why is There an Entry Fee?

Thomas needs the secret ingredient to his cookies, dear reader. And as we have said before, we only recently updated our methods. With the previous system we had, our members would join free of charge and then try to avoid the mandatory sacrifice of ten adult human teeth. This happened far too frequently for our liking, so we added an entry fee.

We hope that you enjoy your time in our cult and stay as long as you need in order to find enlightenment with Thomas the Tank Engine.