thedarknesseater

[thedarknesseater]

“nice blog”

thank you im really good at clicking reblog

[thedarknesseater]

do not try contacting me i have blocked you on my crystal ball

[thedarknesseater]

also toji naming his son megumi

the misogyny of jujutsu society really does compel me

[thedarknesseater]

the misogyny of jujutsu society really does compel me

[thedarknesseater]

@birdhousematerial

[thedarknesseater]

"you are annoying about x & y" okay. this is the being annoying website.

[thedarknesseater]

what was going on here last night

[thedarknesseater]

honestly it was so fucked up. i wasn't annoyed or angry, i was just traumatised. but that's par for the course for me.

disrespectfully what the FUCK was that dream

[thedarknesseater]

We used to have the milkman and the mailman, now we have to doordash guy and the gig economy has screwed him so much that he doesn't have time to impregnate other people's wives. This is what capitalism has done to us.

[thedarknesseater]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you are intrinsically evil

[thedarknesseater]

blind

/blīnd/

adjective

1. lacking perception, awareness, or discernment.

"He was blind to reality."

verb

1. deprive (someone) of understanding, judgment, or perception.

"I kept him blind."

[thedarknesseater]

Do you think Geto Suguru deserved better friends?

Geto Suguru deserves the moon and the stars.

In relation to your question though, I think he had the great friends he deserved, but they just hadn't grown up in time to realize that friendship can't heal everything.

I think they tried their best with Geto, or felt they had at the time. They all had fun together, faced horrors, and grew together; but the mentality of "we can do anything" was a double edged sword.

For example, Gojo said "we're the strongest." The hope and naivete they all had in their ability to keep moving forward stopped them from ever imagining their friend could succumb to all the pain. I'm not blaming Geto in any way, but nobody is a mind reader. He wasn't well and it showed, but he did hide the majority of it from the people who would have helped him (if he had asked the right ones). I don't think he wanted to show weakness, a.k.a his wavering faith in the Jujutsu way, and I think that's why he asked the older sorcerer about his dark thoughts instead of his close friends. He saw them as they saw themselves; strong enough to overcome anything. And I believe they felt he saw himself that way too.

They had too much faith in strength because I know, even when noticing his struggles, they likely believed he'd get through it. He always had, until he didn't.

I don't think believing someone can get through struggle makes you a bad friend, and I wouldn't say they didn't try hard enough to notice the signs because at that point, they had too much faith. They all thought they were in it together.

Obviously we could say looking back, "Why didn't you keep asking him what was wrong, even though he answered 'nothing' the first time." But life, and friendship, isn't that simple. Unfortunately most people only learn to push past the face value of the people they love, when they've learned from previous misfortunes. And sadly, they had to learn that from Geto's downfall. What he did wasn't something they could recover from, obviously, so there was no, "Let's work on this."

It was just like every other shock, like when a friend commits suicide and you look back thinking, "I didn't know it was that bad."

On top of the fact they were distracted by life & death situations every day/basically saving the world, and alongside the fact I don't believe anything like that had happened with a Jujutsu Sorcerer before Geto, they just didn't think it was a possibility.

I get that, and I feel that anyone who says they don't, is lying to themselves.

That's why people remind others to check in on their friends. Like, really check in. Sometimes, we have too much faith in our loved ones strengths.

He had amazing friends, and I only wish they had been given the opportunity to express their pain more. If anything, I blame the leaders and higher-ups at JJHigh. They definitely didn't have enough mental/emotional supports for the literal teenagers thrown into that kind of world, and I could never blame those kids for not understanding the consequences of carrying that weight until they were forced to face them.

It reminds me of a quote I love;

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I'm sorry I keep saying, how are you? When I really mean, are you happy? - Ocean Vuong

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I know this is an anime post but, check in on your loved ones, please.

And ask twice.

[thedarknesseater]

“I hate it, the way the heart takes too long to figure out what the mind already knows.” - R.H. Sin

[thedarknesseater]

me at 4am today.

disrespectfully what the FUCK was that dream

[thedarknesseater]

i'm sure this has been talked about to death already but i do find dean's post-s1 declarations of love compelling not just because they're devastatingly romantic (though. they very much are.) but also because the impetus for them is not just that dean loves his brother very much. mostly i'm referring to these two exchanges from 2x09 croatoan and 3x01 the magnificent seven:

SAM: Dean, I'm sick. It's over for me. It doesn't have to be for you. DEAN: No? SAM: No, you can keep going. DEAN: Who says I want to?

SAM: (sighs) How could you make that deal, Dean? DEAN: 'Cause I couldn't live with you dead. Couldn't do it.

because of course these are dean telling his brother he loves him. but they are, in equal measure, dean telling his brother that he wants to die. they are declarations of both pure love and and a deep rooted exhaustion with living. you can see the seeds of suicidal ideation get planted in 1x12 faith, the episode that in many ways foreshadows john's deal with azazel in 2x01 and dean's crossroads deal in 2x22. because dean is so genuinely freaked out by the fact that for him to live, someone else died. even if he made that trade without knowing that was the cost, even if that man would have died anyway, even if he can't take it back. especially because he can't take it back.

faith is a pivotal episode because it's where dean is faced with a moral dilemma: a healthy man died for him to live, which he cannot undo. however, a woman with a brain tumor could live at the cost of dean's life. and he resolves this moral dilemma by choosing to preserve his own life at the moral expense of another's and the potential moral expenditure of layla rourke's life. it's existential and awful and it also clearly haunts him. it's the start of dean wondering if he's really allowed to live.

and that moment of tremendous guilt, of course, is compounded to a fatal degree when john bargains for dean's life in 2x01. dean ends up rationalizing his existence by tying it to sam's. he's not supposed to be alive -> he's living on borrowed time -> he might as well use his life for something. and that something, right, is sam's life in 2x22. he's just so fucking suicidal that bargaining his life for sam's is a goddamn no brainer.

so then his love for sam gets tangled up in his death wish, in his guilt, in his desire to give his continued existence meaning + to rationalize and justify the sacrifices other people made to keep him alive. it's a transactional way of thinking that also reflects the narrative's greater theme of lives-as-bargaining-chips. he wants to rest and he doesn't want to worry about sam (referring to djinn!jessica's line from 2x20) and he wants to feel like he's done something good in the end.

i think this too is indicative of how the narrative, through the characters, treats sacrifice and martyrdom as the ultimate act of goodness (introduced with mary's martyrdom in the pilot and then carried through with the relentless "lemme die for you real quick" thing the brothers do). martyrdom is the ultimate act of love.

consequently, dean's suicidality and his love for sam reinforce and uphold each other. to love sam is to die for him. and to die for sam is to love him, over and over, an endless cycle of recrimination and adoration. and in this way sam is both salvation (from dean's guilt) and damnation (tethering him to life).

[thedarknesseater]

[thedarknesseater]

my love for sam is very complicated and i could write ten morbillion essays about why he is my forever beloved but my love for his fuckass brother is very simple. dean feels intensely. the depth of his feeling is both redemptive and damning. this is the fulcrum upon which his character arc turns.