thediarysystem

[thediarysystem]

One thing I hate abt being in survival mode 24/7 is the rejection of anything sweet or nice I can't listen to slow paced music talking abt fucking emotions bc then I remember I have them and I start spiraling thinking abt how bad my life actually is and it's not some joke

I just can't do any affection and softness not bc I don't want it but if u cook me dinner and ask me how my day was then proceed to hug me I will have a break down

I just can't do it right now I can't give in to kindness and understanding all of it is fleeting and I don't want the rug ripped out from under me again I'd rather reject it all then have a sliver of it

[thediarysystem]

Same thing where I'll swear I'm fine then tears start rolling uncontrollably for "no reason"

Sometimes I'll think I'm doing actually ok for someone in my situation then realize my vision went out from dissociation 3 minutes ago and I'm actually talking inside my own head in a ball on the floor

[thediarysystem]

Sometimes I'll think I'm doing actually ok for someone in my situation then realize my vision went out from dissociation 3 minutes ago and I'm actually talking inside my own head in a ball on the floor

[thediarysystem]

Buddy! I’m so glad to see you!

[thediarysystem]

[thediarysystem]

Little scarab (pt 2)

Content - age regression, self conscious reader, soft toys, playroom, colouring in, mommy!layla, daddy!steven, polyamorous relationship, dont like dont read.

Summary - your first time fully regressing in front of your partners.

Authors note - it took me way longer than it should have to write this I’m so sorry!, I used google translate because I don’t speak a word of arabic so i apologise if anything is incorrect. I don’t feel like this is my best writing but I just wanted to get it out as soon as possible because I made all of you little scarabs wait so long, I hope you enjoy<3

Translations - princess = amira, honey love = alhubu aleasul, angel = malak 

Part one - here

Keep reading

[thediarysystem]

I was legitimately on the street yesterday please repost this at least any support is appreciated I need to get somewhere safe and my goal is at least 250 to make it to another state with my friends who are willing to take me in

I will draw pfps for even 10 dollars

I also draw oscar isaac and pedro pascal characters

[thediarysystem]

I prefer shows where the cast is a bunch of 35-40 year Olds way more than shows where the entire cast is teens

[thediarysystem]

[Text: This system loves taking pictures of the sky]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[thediarysystem]

bruh

- Yang

[thediarysystem]

[thediarysystem]

going insane all by yourself handsome?

[thediarysystem]

About me:

🍁 A Dissociative system of 10+

🍁 Age range of adult hood (19-38)

🍁 I'm pan and aro/ace

DNI: anti agere, anti petre, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc etc just don't be ignorant or mean basically

🍁 Looking for other system friends

🍁 I have many interests so just dm me if you'd like to get to know me

🍁 DISCLAIMER: this is not a strictly syskid acct I vent and curse on here (rarely) but I do

[thediarysystem]

so some times I go non-verbel especially when I regress to a smaller age so I decided to make some flashcards to help and thought I would share them ! (´∧ω∧｀*) I have made a ton more + ideas but I can only post ten at a time on tumblr (╥﹏╥) if people like this or word like to make a request that is available too !!

[thediarysystem]

Communication cards; yes/ no & variants

Other variants of these communication cards:

Blank (& the post that inspired these cards)

basic needs

activities & wants

feelings

･｡»･⁠°✧❗I don't consent to NSFW interaction❗✧°･«｡･

[thediarysystem]

Communication cards; basic needs

Other variants of these communication cards:

Blank (& the post that inspired these cards)

activities & wants

yes/ no & variants

feelings

･｡»･⁠°✧❗I don't consent to NSFW interaction❗✧°･«｡･

[thediarysystem]

Me putting down multiple fingers pretending to be shocked like I'm not a medically recognized system

subtle signs of a dissociative disorder:

looking in the mirror and not recognizing your reflection

feeling unfamiliar with your own body

feeling like your hands are not yours

feelings of confusion, numbness, un-reality

feeling unsure of where you are or what's going on sometimes

feeling like nothing is real, or like the world in your head is more real to you than the world outside

spending time diving into the world inside your head almost like you can live in there instead of reality

remembering past events very vaguely, only remembering few moments and the rest is blank, or having trouble recalling past events at all

having holes in your memory, days, weeks, or months missing

feeling emotions that you don't think are yours

having trains of thoughts that don't seem like you, and you don't feel like you would think in that direction

having conversations in your head that you do not have to figure out what the other side is saying, instead it comes at you as a surprise when they speak

losing your emotions about certain events, even when you can remember them and place them in time, you just feel  nothing about it, even though you remember feeling something previously

losing the memory of people from your past, forgetting friendships, relationships, and conversations you had completely, not remembering who you are to someone or what once was

having topics that are forbidden to think about and you feel your entire thought process halted and turned to nothing if you try to think in those directions

feeling like you've changed completely from who you were few years or even few months ago, promptly forgetting anything about your past version of yourself