#actually dissociative

[wonderbreadog]

I make myself laugh rlly

[autopsycollective]

rlly wish the body would change to match whoever fronts :(( ❦

[pluralcultureis]

Plural Culture is "do I feel young because I as an alter am older than the body? Or because I as an alter am younger than the body?? Or am I just regressed?? Or having an off day??"

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

radqueers actually admit it. they support faking disorders.

studying a disorder enough to convincingly fake it is wrong and damages the perceived credibility of real people with disorders. now fdc and systemscringe have more things to use against us. its ableist to fake disorders and have the opinion this person does.

[caintooth]

seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

[thattheater-kid]

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

[c-0-yote-teeth]

fuck it we ball

[ed-recoverry]

To anyone who was suicidal at age 14 or younger, here’s your permission to grieve. Here’s your permission to not joke about it or just flat out ignore it. Here’s your permission to acknowledge that lost child who felt way more pain than any child should ever feel. You’re allowed to cry for that child, whether you healed or are still suffering the same thoughts. Finally allow yourself to grieve for that child filled with undeserved hurt.

[collectivewarmth]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[wonderbreadog]

me finding out i may have DID instead of OSDD-1b because we have a lot of amnesia apparently (so much so that it would most likely qualify us for a DID diagnosis) but it hides itself very well cuz we're extremely covert: wow that's crazy man, can't believe it! wait what's crazy? Hello

[autopsycollective]

not wanting to achieve final fusion is ok,, it’s your disorder so you decide whats best for you ❦

[pluralcultureis]

Plural culture is

Yeah that male characters pronouns are she/her how do I know she told me herself

.

[osddid-i-do-that]

“One of your alters doesn’t like me!”

My dude some of my alters don’t like ME. You ain’t special.

[thestarpletsystem]

Technically, if you’re plural, every project is a group project. Give your headmates credit

[the-habitat-sysblog]

shout-out to people who fit the demonised DID stereotypes seen in movies & other media:

if you have violent &/or aggressive alters, i love you.

if you have complete blackout amnesia between alters, i love you.

if you have little to no communication between alters, i love you.

if your switches are overt & "distressing to witness", i love you.

if you've ever been called "scary", a "freak", or even "evil" for how your DID presents, i love you so much.

your experiences are real. you do not have to sugar-coat your disorder to make it more palatable for others. your brain helped you survive as best it could, so i hope you will find peace & healing when the worst is over. 🤍