thedurangedrantsofamadman

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

My partner spent a long time trying to find out what she was. It took her a long time to find her label and she still struggles with accepting her sexuality. If talking about it helps her feel like a valid person deserving of love then anyone who doesnt want to hear about it can go somewhere else.

"Talking about being asexual/aromantic is pointless and nobody's business"

Have you considered that I openly talk about being asexual and aromantic because I felt like I was a freak of nature for not being able to relate to other people and I don't want anybody feeling in any way like I did? Shoving asexuality and aromanticism under the rug encourages people to feel isolation and alienation - which isn't good. Talking about asexuality and aromanticism and informing people about such identities is important whether or not you are ace or aro. If it bothers you, then you can leave these spaces. Ace and aro people deserve to talk about their identities and advocate for acceptance and understanding.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

Reblog if you're black tumblr.

You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and your for us.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but when you demean the identities of people who deviate from the accepted "norm" and turn inclusion to your community into a suffer Olympics you invalidate a large number of its members. Do you GENUINELY think that you PERSONALLY have suffered anywhere near as much as the gays who have been beaten, the poc and black queers who have been linched, and the trans folk subjected to conversion therapy? So what if you are a gay white man? What if you got picked on a little bit and felt scared to come out but nothing overtly violent ever happened to you? Are you thus no longer gay because you haven't suffered enough? No. Because your IDENTITY is what includes you in the community. Not your past trauma. Not the hurt you have endured. There isnt some hazing ritual for the lgbt+ community. If you deviate from the norm you are a part of it. Suffering does not validate your identity. Trauma does not make you a true member of the community. It isnt a badge of honor. It's a tragedy that we should work together to avoid in the future, not turn it into some sort of a competition.

one of my problems with having cishet aces in the lgbt community is that it makes me wonder, where does the inclusion cut off?

because if you think lgbt must also include identities like cishet demisexuals, who are literally “straight and cis and only feel attracted once i know you,” it becomes…even more ridiculous.

you really think you’re entitled to a community’s support when your struggles aren’t even remotely similar to ours? you think the oppression/discrimination you face for your sexual identity, by being gray ace, is the same as ours? even when you’re straight and cis?

the ace community exists for a reason. the lgbt community is not for you.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

here’s the link to donate to george floyd’s official memorial fund if you are able to contribute. if you can’t donate, please share. being black shouldn’t be a death sentence.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

you can donate to the minnesota freedom fund to bail out protestors here. I donated $10. if you see this, will you either match my donation or reblog to spread it?

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

I've come out of this decade a different person because of the ordeals I've been through. I like to think that I am a better person for all the hardships. But I can never truly be certain of that. All I do know is that I am different and I will keep trying. This decade brought me so much that I am thankful for and I will keep going as long as I can.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

Nietzsche believed that you’ve gotta be able to think about suicide before you can move beyond wanting to kill yourself because only once you’ve accepted it as an option can you make the choice not to do it, and the alternative, to deny the urge and ignore it, would inevitably cause you to cave to the unaddressed desire you have for it.

And the dude was right. 

The rogue’s gallery of psych students and junior practitioners on this hellsite have hijacked my post about not being mean to yourself to explain to people how actually what I’m talking about is cognitive-behavioral therapy, and how it involves disciplining yourself to never talk negatively about yourself and how it’s important to check with a therapist that you’re doing it correctly, and like, this is why I don’t trust and can’t stand these people.

Being your own friend is a holistic process, there aren’t exercises you can do or therapy methods you can apply, which is why most people relapse almost immediately after stopping CBT or DBT, because they haven’t actually made any progress in how they look out for themselves, they were merely thrust into a disciplinary regimen where they are taught to engage in habits which their therapist then holds them accountable to, and so, without that therapist, they fall apart again.

Not being mean to yourself doesn’t mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesn’t mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see can’t grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.

Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, it’s challenging yourself to evaluate why you’re a dick to yourself in a way you aren’t to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if you’re still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

@profoakes I know I'm a little late but I just wanted to say happy birthday Ben. I wish you were still here.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

love yourself more than others do 

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

So I found out a few months ago that wanting to ‘not exist’ or wishing you could ‘just sleep forever’ is also considered suicidal (specifically suicidal idealization). It shocked me cause I used to think that way when I was younger but had previously thought that being suicidal meant explicitly wanting to die.. but it actually involves wanting to not live too.

I think its an important thing to note cause it might allow someone to realize the severity of their condition earlier.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

Depression meal 2254

An energy drink at two am.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

You gotta understand that some people never really grow. They never learn their lesson. They never recognise their mistakes, they never acknowledge their faults, they never admit they were in the wrong. You will never receive an apology from them, and you will never see their behaviour change.

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

mental illness in a nutshell

literally anyone: are you ok?

me: you mean like your standards ok or my standards ok

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

so last night I said fuck sleep, and now in a shocking turn of events, I regret it