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[thegiandiediaries]

Goal setting

I semi-recently began learning how to think about and set goals and I wanted to share a snapshot on here. I want to layout what I'm going to talk about so I don't lose my train of thought (& can't get it back)

- Pixels -> Image

- Habits

- I/O (Inputs/Outputs)

- Action oriented

- My goals for 2023 -> My goals for 2024

Okay, so let's start with Pixels -> Image:

A pixel is a tiny colored dot that when combined with thousands of other tiny colored dots makes up an image. Here's a good example ⤵️

All of those blurry little squares are pixels.

Pixels are like habits and goals are like the image. All of the little habits you form and consistently complete make up the full picture of what you're trying to accomplish.

If your goal is to have a clean room, the following habits will make that happen:

- putting things back where they belong after using it

- dusting

- vacuuming/sweeping your floor

- etc.

Setting the goal of having a clean room is good, but a lot of times we don't take the time to breakdown what it means to have a clean room--or more importantly, what it requires.

Which brings us to the topic of creating Habits:

Instead of simply saying "I want to have a clean room" and moving on, you should be more specific of what this requires. Like "I want to assign everything a place (& get rid of what I don't want/need anymore) and make sure to put it back in its place every time I use it".

This would help tremendously in working towards a clean room. Creating a single habit of tidiness goes a long way. Now you won't have clothes across all surfaces, scrunchies in random places, earrings here, pencils there, and random items everywhere.

But, remember, setting a single habit isn't enough. You need a myriad of habits (or a collection of pixels) to make a goal (picture). So, do the single habit consistently for 90 days. Don't miss a day! Once the 90 days are up, add another habit. Let's say "I'm going to vacuum/sweep my floor on M/W/F each week". Now your surfaces are clear and your floor is regularly cleaned!

After 90 days, add another. Let's say "I'm going to dust my blinds, fan, and other surfaces every Saturday". Stick with it and boom! A new habit has been formed.

As you start creating a collection of habits, what you're really creating is a system.

If you can break your specific goal down into 4 major habits, within a year you can have a system that allows you to achieve that habit consistently and continue to keep it up even after your year is over.

Okay, let's move on to the next bullet point I/O (Inputs/Outputs):

Too often our goals are too output focused like:

- I want to have 12,000 followers

- I want a 6 pack

- I want to attend this school/summer intensive/college

- I want this grade

All of these goals are the outputs of our inputs. In order to reach 12,000 followers you will likely need to consistently talk about a short list of topics to attract a community, consistently engage with them, and consistently add value to their lives.

To get a 6 pack you're likely going to have to consistently eat a certain way, consistently exercise certain muscles, etc.

And so on, and so forth.

The reason why this is relevant to goal setting is because our goals are often closely linked to a very specific output/outcome but we're rarely ever clear on what inputs we're going to do to accomplish this goal.

Perhaps this is another way to look at your habits. Your habits are the inputs, reaching your goal is the output.

Your job is to figure out what inputs are required to achieve your desired output. You must do the work required in order to get the goal, nothing less. But what is the work required? And how do you figure that out?

Research. Ask.

If you don't know how to get what you want do one of the above. Either go on a google/youtube deep dive or ask someone. But be careful! If your goal is to be a principal ballet dancer at American Ballet Theatre, you would likely be better served studying the journeys of dancers who achieved that goal (or the equivalent at adjacent companies) rather than those who simply achieved the goal of becoming a professional ballet dancer at a local city ballet. Why? Because most people are gunning for the top, they just don't make it. ABT likely has a lot of dancers audition every year who, when they don't make it, are accepted to a city ballet. If you train based off the advice of those who didn't quite make it, you're increasing your chances of not quite making it either.

This isn't to say you can't make it, but that you might have less of a chance than those who train to the caliber of what ABT is looking for.

It's similar to Harvard/Yale. I applied to Harvard, it wasn't my dream school, it didn't even cross my mind to apply until it was application season. But everyone has a "what if?" moment that makes them throw their hat into the ring in hopes of making it.

Did I get accepted? No. Would I recommend someone follow my same journey if they want to get accepted? No. But does that mean that someone with an identical journey to mine couldn't make it? Also, no. It's just the likelihood is very, very slim. I wasn't on a Harvard level. But everyone I interacted with who did go to Harvard had a very similar collection of inputs and way about themselves, even if their journey and story was different.

All of this to say, your inputs matter more than your goals do. Your inputs (aka habits) are your roadmap towards your goals.

Finally, you need to make sure you're action oriented when setting goals. Reaching goals takes work--otherwise it wouldn't be a goal, it would just simply be.

So, you need to do something to get there. Make sure your inputs are more doing and less thinking/wishing/hoping.

What you do will look different based off your goals, but it should clearly be actionable. Don't spend more than a day or two researching to figure out your first habit. You can always course correct if you come across new information, but you must start.

That being said, I want to talk about my goals from 2023 and my goals for 2024:

- [ ] Get my first investment property

- [ ] Finish 1/2 of my physics degree (December)

- [x] Get a job at [company I work at] (March)

- [x ] Lose excess fat on my body

- [ ] Begin (consistently) learning Italian and Turkish (August)

- [ ] Publish mobile apps to app store (Book’d, Scheduler app, Math Translator extension, Web scraper for Twitter for Hiring)

- [x] Start weekly ballet lessons in person (June)

- [x] Work on my first PC repair & build (GR write-off)

- [x] Get straight A’s (Fall semester)

- [ ] Finish draft one of Andie’s Guide

- [ ] Complete Codecademy courses (ML/AI Engineer, HTML/CSS, SQL, Javascript, Git, Git & Github, Python)

For the most part, I didn't accomplish my goals. Some of them I chickened out on (real estate) or lost interest in (Andie's Guide) while others I simply didn't prioritize or create a plan around.

When I look at this list, the first thing I think about is how disjointed these seem from my top priorities. But, it's also important to note that I didn't really start exploring and understanding priorities until midway through this year.

Currently, my priorities are:

1. My job

2. Learning machine learning & python

3. Ballet training

4. Studying physics & math

They are in order from highest -> lowest priority. Anything not on the priority list probably shouldn't have a goal attached to it, because I'm not likely to get around to it.

Longterm, the outputs I'm seeking are:

- Keeping my job as long as I need it

- Starting an AI/ML company at the frontier

- Dance through the ranks of ABT

- Finish my BS in Physics & do physics research (make serious contributions to the field)

On a shorter time horizon, what I would like to accomplish in a year to be closer to these goals are:

- become irreplaceable at my job (in terms of human productivity)

- learn coding related to ML

- wade through the depths of important ML research to date

- get my body in physical shape to dance (aesthetics + endurance)

- hone basic technique into bones/muscle memory

- strengthen my understanding of basic/foundational math

- work through the high school physics curriculum

I'm a novice in everything. It's overwhelming, but everyone has to start somewhere. This is my start. I've been fumbling around in the metaphorical darkness for some time now, but now I am starting to see clearly.

So, let's explore the habits/inputs and systems I want to build for the first 3 items on my list:

become irreplaceable at my job

- consistently answer 400-600 tickets each week

- start opening support-related pull requests (requires learning some ruby on rails, react, and typescript)

- use sql/metabase to recommend platform optimizations (requires learning sql/metabase)

learn coding related to ML

- read Introduction to Machine Learning with Python

- read Deep Learning for Coders with Fastai and PyTorch (& complete the course)

- read Hands-On Machine Learning with Scikit-Learn and TensorFlow

wade through the depths of ML research

- read Computing Machinery and Intelligence

- watch some George Hotz reading ML papers streams to figure out what is the next best move

- read Leslie Smith's One Cycle paper

I may post the remaining in a separate blog post later on, but for now that is all! I hope this post was helpful to some of you!

[thegiandiediaries]

On School & Homeschooling

Two posts in one day?! Wow!

Since my last post was extremely long I decided to do a separate post discussing where I'm at with schooling. If you're interested in learning about where I'm at with Ballet, I would recommend reading "Holiday Bootcamp".

Over the summer I took two classes, Physics I (Calculus based) and Calculus I. For context, I had already taken both of those classes previously at a different college through an online program. I got a D in Physics previously but was "passed" with a C by my teacher. And in calculus, I got a B but definitely with the help of Symbolab, Mathway, and the likes at times when I shouldn't have used them.

I knew that if I was as serious about studying Physics as I felt, I would need to revisit those topics because I didn't truly pass either of them. So, I decided to take them at my current college during the summer since it would go faster and I already was somewhat familiar with the topics. How did I do? I got a D in Calculus and a B in Physics. Yeah...

At first, I chalked it up to the fact that I was taking these two demanding classes while also working two part-time jobs and trying to juggle ballet and cello classes as well as a randomly (and unexpectedly) active social life.

I wrote it off and moved on. For the Fall, I registered for Physics II, College Algebra, Pre-Calculus, and Gateway to Physics (a Physics elective). I chose to take Algebra and Pre-calc because even though I mentally wrote off my grades, I still felt like something was missing in my knowledge and that if I could just figure out what it was, I could stop struggling so much.

By the midpoint of the semester, I was so far behind in the work and they assigned so much of it, I couldn't keep up! A deeper issue was exposed. I watched a youtube video by this YouTuber named Amy and she spoke about being seen as smart and good at math (took AP Calc BC in 10th grade, was Valedictorian, went to Caltech) and mentioned having had a tutor for a good part of K12. For some reason this was mind blowing and eye opening. I knew, conceptually, that tutors weren't just for little kids and those who struggled with a particular subject but this provided proof, I guess.

That same day, I went out and found some tutors to try. I ended up working with this woman named Sofia. She was a kind Brazilian who I zoomed with for 2 months and she opened my eyes to a few key things:

I'm not college ready in math

How to actually study math

She never said to me "You're at an x grade level" or anything of the sort, but she assessed my knowledge level after working with me on some of my algebra and pre-calculus assignments and based off the starting point, it was definitely pre-college level. Which is okay and made total sense when I stopped and actually thought about it. My struggles in math started long before I ever set foot on a college campus, so it makes sense that my level of understanding is back at that point.

After realizing this, I looked at the mountain of schoolwork piling up in those two classes and decided to withdraw. I asked her before hand if she thought it was a good idea and would be willing to teach me what I needed to know. She agreed and up until a few days ago we met 2-3 times a week consistently. She's on a break for the next month and while she's doing that, I am utilizing the 2nd key thing I learned from her: how to actually study math.

The secret? Do it, don't just read about it. Coming from someone who spent every spare minute as a kid nose deep in a book, I am used to reading something and gaining understanding from that. But math and science? That is not how it works and I think this core idea is something that has tripped me up for so long. That and the fact that while my mathematical skills stayed rather stagnant, the work I was receiving didn't and so anytime I tried to solve problems I was so out of my depth, I would turn to the textbook to read about how to solve them but still lack the foundational skills necessary to carry out problem solving independently. This cycle I was unknowingly in kept me busy and working hard, but I was like a hamster on a wheel. I wasn't making any real or tangible progress but I was burning a lot of energy.

"Doing it" is as simple as watching a youtube video (such as Professor Leonard's) and listening as they explain how (and why) to do something, then following along and solving the problems given. Sofia always asked me to pause the video and solve it first, then play and watch them walk through how to solve it. Another thing is to check your answers immediately after solving a problem. She would assign a worksheet on a topic she explained during our session and then I would need to solve them, check my answer, if I was right do the next problem and if I was wrong, work out why, redo the problem and then move on making sure to integrate that understanding I just gained into how I approached future problems.

It's surprisingly that simple! The important bits are being consistent with doing it, understanding what you're doing and why (textbook and youtube can help if you don't have a tutor), and starting at your current knowledge level.

Another thing Sofia helped me realize is that I was missing a math pre-requisite in Physics II and should work on getting taken out of the class. I did and it was a long and stressful process, but ultimately the Registrar's office removed me from the class!

Now, I'm just taking my Physics elective, but I looked at my graduation plan and I'm still on track to graduate in 2026, so long as I do what I need to do with my self studying and am prepared to resume major classes in the Summer (2024).

Which means that I have a lot to learn. My skill level is currently in between beginner and intermediate algebra. I was super embarrassed about it at first, but now I'm just excited. I know what the problem is! I feel like I could shout it from the rooftops! I was getting very discouraged in my math/physics study but trying my best to smile and keep pushing. But discovering this has lifted a mental load off. I'm not the problem. It's not that I'm not capable, it's that I'm not ready. And that's okay. I can get ready!

So, how am I getting ready? By homeschooling myself! At first, I was definitely like "I can't homeschool myself! I'm not 15 anymore!" but then I thought about it and decided I could lol. I make the rules. And I've ruled that I will homeschool myself for the next ~8 months. My plan is to work through Chapters 1-3 of Swokowski and Cole's Algebra and Trigonometry with Analytic Geometry as well as Professor Leonard's Intermediate Algebra course in November & December. I bought a book called Schaum's Outline of Basic Mathematics with Applications to Science and Technology which I am going to use to do additional practice problems in (outside of the textbook and videos). In Physics, I bought a high school algebra-based physics textbook called Cutnell & Johnson Physics (5 ed). My goal is to work through the first few chapters (between 3 and 7 chapters) of this text. I also plan on going through Dan Fullerton's videos in conjunction!

I was homeschooled for some of middle and high school and I definitely miss it. I have busy days ahead, but I'm super excited!

Bye for now!

Gia

[thegiandiediaries]

Holiday Bootcamp

Happy Holidays!

It's officially November, my birthday is on the horizon and Thanksgiving + Christmas are around the corner!

I wanted to give an update on where I'm at now:

I no longer take Adult Ballet classes -- I found them too recreational and knew I wasn't adequately preparing for a classical ballet career

I no longer live downtown -- I was renting a room for the summer and trying to find housing for the Fall. I didn't. I still live at home and commute to college.

Cello lessons are on hold -- my teacher and I didn't have an aligned schedule, so she no longer teaches me. I decided to take the entire month of October off while I collected myself and figured out what to do next. I am looking for a teacher now and am planning to restart lessons this month

I took a break from the lab -- I loved having the association of working at the school I was aiming to attend but do feel like it was a huge distraction. I took the Fall off but am considering officially quitting.

So, what am I doing?

I am starting a Holiday Ballet Bootcamp! This is just for myself, but if anyone wants to do one for themselves, I will let you know what I am doing and at the end I will let you know the results.

What am I doing in this Holiday Ballet Bootcamp? And why am I doing it?

First, the why: I am missing many of the foundational and fundamental skills needed to progress. I am not flexible (I can't even do the splits), I have low/poor turnout, I am not able to fully pointe my foot, and (among other things) I lack core and muscular strength.

I've been attempting to learn technique from an online ballet program I've been purchasing on a monthly subscription but find myself lacking bodily awareness, unable to keep up, and nursing minor injuries every few days.

I realized that this wasn't going to work, but I didn't know what to do next. For reasons due to transportation and (lack of) intensity, Adult Open Ballet classes were out and continuing on with this self-directed learning was out.

After my latest injury on Monday, I had to take the time and sit down and think about my goal and the process I've been following to get there. I was, honestly, in panic. I couldn't figure out what to do. My sister and I went to Target earlier this week and I bought this cute, pink notebook and decided to make it my ballet journal. I sat down with a snack and got to work figuring out my plan of action.

I looked at the knowns and unknowns:

Knowns -

I am missing many of the foundational and fundamental skills needed to progress

Adult ballet classes are too recreational and won't adequately prepare me for a professional, classical career

Training by myself with no supervision is leading to multiple minor injuries and likely poor technique

I am too old for any proper ballet school

Unknowns:

How do I get proper training?

How do I get flexible, improve my turnout, and build strength?

Doing this helped me to come up with the Holiday Bootcamp. The bootcamp itself is directly targeting bullet 2, but is supposed to indirectly help with bullet 1. I realized that if I can't join a ballet school, I can't take the adult ballet classes available, and I can't do a self-directed online program, there was still one option: private training. But no private teacher worth their salt would take on an almost 24 year old beginner who can't do the splits, has little turnout, poor pointe, and lacks strength. Yeah, no. And I want to find teachers who are looking to train serious students to the highest caliber.

So, first I need to address the glaring issues (hence the bootcamp!). Then, I plan to submit audition-style photos and videos to private teachers I would like to work with and see who would be willing to work with me (in January).

Okay, so now you know the why. But you still don't know the how. So here's what I am doing as a part of my bootcamp:

I set the following goals for myself:

Full splits

Maximum extensions (Développé devant, Développé à la seconde, and Développé derrière)

Full turnout

High arched, strong feet

Build Muscle Memory

Build Core Stability

General Dance Conditioning

Theoretical Understanding of Technique & Dance Terminology

To achieve these goals, I am using the following programs:

Front Splits Fast by Lisa Howell

How To Get Your Legs Higher In A Développé Devant by Lisa Howell

Training Turnout by Lisa Howell

The Perfect Pointe Book by Lisa Howell

A New Approach to Core Stability by Lisa Howell

Dance Conditioning: Level One by Lisa Howell

Progressing Ballet Technique by Marie Walton-Mahon

Basic Principles of Classical Ballet: Russian Ballet Technique by Agrippina Vaganova

Foundations of Classical Ballet by Agrippina Vaganova

I am choosing to use gentle programs developed by dance physiotherapist Lisa Howell for the most part and also Marie Walton-Mahon's program because I do believe that achieving these goals shouldn't be painful. I don't want to mess up my body and make it harder or impossible to achieve my goals out of haste or fear.

Initially, I was looking to other dancers for advice on how to prepare for this but ultimately decided that I wanted to learn from Lisa and Marie in this preparatory period because of their advanced knowledge on the mechanics and inner workings of the body and how to train it.

I also am choosing to specifically study the Vaganova technique because it seems like a particularly strict form of ballet that when mastered seems most advantageous to dancers. Some of the most noticeably well trained dancers I've seen seem to be the product of the Vaganova method.

And that's it!

My bootcamp will end on Dec 31st, so I will check back in around then more than likely!

xo, Gia

[thegiandiediaries]

Fractured Future

When I look in the mirror, I see all the fractured pieces of my future. All of the could've, would've, should've's. This summer, I thought I would finally have the chance to rectify it. To pursue all of the things I wished I would but haven't. I dream of being a professional ballet dancer at a soloist or principal level, an award winning physicist and mathematician, an internationally acclaimed cellist, a genius inventor. I have so many things I want to do, to be. And yet it all feels so out of reach. All of it. How do I rectify it?

I am so out of my depth. I'm unfocused, I lack natural abilities, I lack skill, I lack discipline. What do I have to offer? To give? How can I do this? How bad do I want this?

In the Fall, I won't be moving into an apartment. Instead I'll be moving back home. Far away from a ballet studio within a reasonable bus or Uber distance. How will I continue to train? I could do PBT and stretching and generally condition myself, but ultimately how will I move forward? When?

I also haven't been so engaged with the cello. I haven't practiced. I'm afraid of people hearing. I skipped two lessons. It was too far out of the way.

In class, I'm unfocused. Most of the time I'm trying to get hours done for my job because my schedule feels so tight and when else will I be able to.

Outside of class, I rarely study. I'm late submitting assignments. I get overwhelmed so easily and fall behind so quickly.

I don't workout, I don't train, I don't practice, I don't study, I don't drive.

So, how am I supposed to continue?

Will I always just see fractured fragments of what I could have been? Until one day I choose to stick to one thing. And then all I will see is misery in its fullest, clearest picture? Aren't I miserable now?

[thegiandiediaries]

Ballet I, Day I

I was walking back to my room this morning, after having spent the morning traveling back to the city from home, and noticed a group of ballet dancers outside of the dorms. I realized these girls are likely here for their first day of the summer intensive.

Ironically (?) I was listening to a podcast about ballet and motherhood, because by the time I am physically prepared for a ballet career, I will also be entering motherhood.

Last week I took an AOD Ballet I class and it was interesting. My assessment of how I did is as follows:

I was strongest at the bar exercises, although my turnout left much to be desired. I was, also, putting too much weight on the bar at times

I had a hard time finding my balance and need to work on that

My calves need strengthening--my legs overall but I definitely felt the weakness in my calves

Flexibility isn't much there

Also, my turnout was a bit forced, especially on my right side and I could feel discomfort near my hip socket for a few days. Stretching and practicing it regularly needs to be a priority.

Combinations at bar definitely left me stumped and falling behind at times

Arms...I struggled to coordinate my arms while also trying to coordinate my feet and legs. I mostly kept my hands on my hips, which I think is the best course of action for now.

At center, I struggled greatly with my balance and keeping up with combos

I also found myself off beat/count quite a few times

My general assessment of the class is as follows:

It was disorganized and spoke to the recreational nature of what we were doing. The technique was all over the place and we were doing a mixture of beginner and more intermediate things (learning how to properly tendu/plié at one point then doing random leaps, etc)

The start of class was much better, when she went over terms and how to properly execute, etc.

It wasn't serious enough. The guy in front of me changed the tone of the class.

It was unclear what to take away from the class. I would definitely need to take note of different things we did so I could practice them on my own.

Overall, I will continue going to the class because it is all I have access to at the moment. However, next week, I am planning to check out a different AOD class at this place called TADA.

I want to be able to take my ballet training seriously, but I'm not sure how to do that only having access to AOD classes. I had a 15 minute call with Isabel (Ballet w/Isabel) and she was trying to sell me on her program, but it's virtual and self led and I don't think that's what I need or where I'm at, at the moment.

x Giandie

[thegiandiediaries]

Reality bites

It's been a long time since I last updated this blog. Moving forward, my goal is to do weekly updates accompanied with the occasional video footage.

First, let me update you on recent developments:

I transferred to Ga State: I was originally taking classes online at West Ga but found that it was perhaps more difficult to do remote classes, especially when they're self-taught.

I was denied admission to Ga Tech: I found out today, unfortunately. Luckily it's not the end of the world, and I plan on reapplying in a year, but it does suck a little.

I failed Calc II...yeah.

I'm retaking Physics I: I'm going to be frank--I technically passed this class but I actually failed. Literally. I got a D of some sort and my teacher bumped my grade to a C to keep from failing me. No, I didn't ask her to do this. And yes, I'm sure I actually got a D.

My grades are less than stellar, but I am confident I will hit my stride soon. The truth is that I don't know how to learn and dedicate myself fully to something. I procrastinate. A lot. I struggle to focus. I struggle to understand. None of this is new, but I've been able to successfully avoid this reality by submerging my head into a book all day, hyper focusing on the fictional lives of mermaids, superheroes, and high school underdogs.

But, I refuse to let that get me down or stop me. In roughly 2 weeks I'll be moving downtown. The place I found is a summer sublease, but I'm hoping to solidify the move by finding a place to rent permanently. Over the summer, I'm:

Taking Physics I and Calc I again: It's important to solidify the basics and I'm determined to do just that.

Working 20hrs/week in the lab: Fortunately, I still work in the lab. I'm taking 28 days off this month to recoup after last semester and move, but I'll be starting back the week I move.

Working 35hrs/week at my other job: This job pays the bills and tuition(s) so I'm glad to have it and be able to work so many hours!

Taking cello lessons: Finally! I'm so excited! My goal is to take two 45m-1h lessons a week, but I'm still working on confirming this.

Taking ballet classes: They're AOD classes. I would be lying if I didn't say I'm less thrilled by that fact, but that's all that's available when you're starting past the age of 15-16.

Starting a youtube channel? The verdict's still out to be honest.

In my last post, I mentioned wanting to get lean, fit, flexible, and build up strength. I did take up running (although I stopped in Mar-Apr but have resumed) and lost 12.5lbs last time I checked. I'm not yet where I want to be but I'm making good progress. My stretching habit did fall off, but I'm trying to get back on top of everything. My mind is so cluttered and easily overwhelmed that it can be pretty hard, but I'm trying...

Talk soon x

Giandie

[thegiandiediaries]

It’s tough

Thanksgiving break is (sadly) over... tomorrow I’m heading back to the lab and am going to be finishing up some school stuff for the next 1-2 weeks. I didn’t get a chance to really relax and think because I was babysitting earlier in the week and then later in the week I was just busy with family things. 

I am feeling slightly burnt out by school. I need time to breathe and figure things out. It’s not easy. I’m considering retaking my physics course next semester as well as taking calc ii. I’m conflicted because I really only want to take one class, but I will (likely) need to retake physics to replace my grade from this semester and I need to take Calc II to be eligible to transfer to Georgia Tech. 

But, I’m going to burn through my savings much faster if I take many classes at once. Also, retaking a class is less than ideal because I’m paying out of pocket. On top of that, I am trying to attend MIT’s REU this summer but I don’t feel qualified with my poor grade, and they also require that you’re a full time student in order to apply. 

I’m going to send them an email tonight to see if they will allow me to apply even if I am a part time student, but we will see. Going to MIT this summer (or next) is a part of my longterm plan. But technically, it is planned for next summer so I would be fine if I didn’t go this year...

Later x

[thegiandiediaries]

Two months have passed...

I’ve just realized that I’ve somewhat abandoned this blog. Now, I would like to renew my interest and continue working on it. Seeing as it’s been 2 months since I last posted, much has happened. To start, I am nearing the end of the semester. Thanksgiving break is in 2 days and after that we begin finals season. I have not done as well as I had wanted to do in my classes, a mixture between struggling to focus, procrastinating and not giving it proper time needed to learn, practice, and recall have resulted in my much less than stellar marks. 

With the semester ending, I have already begun to make plans for the next one (as is customary). I applied to transfer schools. I had been taking my courses virtually and decided it was time to begin in person as it might be beneficial for me. With the courses being online, we mostly teach ourselves and have less peer or instructor support. I am hoping that taking these in person will perhaps make it easier for me? I’m honestly not sure of the outcome. But, I do recognize the need to have more structure, routine, discipline, and focus in my schedule. 

Next semester, I will be taking one course. I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I should do that and ultimately decided that it would be for the best. My goal has been to transfer to a tech school in my area in the Fall of 2023. They have stricter requirements than most state schools and require a certain number of coursework completed. This math course I am taking next semester will fulfill that. 

I am concerned about how my grades this semester will affect my transferability. But, I can only try. 

With ballet, I never finished building my stretching habit. I have, however, decided to give running a fair chance. I am slightly overweight and unhealthy at the moment. My plan has been to begin training in a studio seriously in the Fall of 2023 once I move into the city for school. But, until then my goal is to get lean and fit, get very flexible, build up strength in my muscles (through pilates and specific strength training for ballet), and to start training my muscle memory through PBT. 

More to come x

Giandie

[thegiandiediaries]

Back in the lab

Yesterday was my first day back in the lab since the summer and I really enjoyed myself! I took a bus from my town to campus (which took ~1hr) and then got breakfast, dropped by the lab briefly to say “hey!” before going to HR to deal with some final paperwork. After that I went to the lab for roughly 3.5hrs and then met up with a friend for lunch before going to the bookstore and catching the bus back home. 

I’ll be going into the lab 2x a week (Mon & Wed) and working from home on Fridays. Outside of that, I am working on being consistent in a flexibility stretching routine I just started. It’s my 3rd day doing it and today’s session reminded me to be mindful of safety. I am doing 2 follow along video tutorials--one on doing the splits and another on increasing back flexibility. During the back flexibility one we do a crab walk where we lay on our backs with our knees bent and then place our hand beside our head and push up into a crab hold (aka back bend I believe). My arms are shaky trying to get up most of the time and the first day I couldn't lift my body up at all. Today I did the first of the 2 crab walk reps with relative ease, but the second one I just could not lift myself up. I’m not sue why one was easy but repeating it ~20s later was so difficult. I kept trying though and now I’m slightly regretting it because there is a slight twinge in my back. I’m going to need to research doing crab walks safely so that I am not injuring myself. 

[thegiandiediaries]

Ice Princess --> Pointe Princess ?

Back in 2005 this gem of a movie came out called Ice Princess. It stars Michelle Trachtenberg as a high school science whiz who has a love for Physics. She’s encouraged to apply for this scholarship where she has to explore the physics of a topic. She chooses to study the physics involved in figure skating--a sport she watched recreationally and really enjoyed. She winds up studying a group of local hs age figure skaters and the mechanics of their movement and motion. 

In an attempt to truly understand what she is learning, she takes up figure skating herself. Throughout the movie we see her grapple with a love for figure skating that manifests in her spending almost all of her free time practicing. She becomes good enough to qualify to compete alongside the very girls she was studying and uses math, physics, and cs to help each of the girls improve their own technique and help her afford to join the expensive world of competitive skating. 

I brought this movie up because I turned it on, on a whim earlier today and it made me think of a way to improve my understanding of ballet and the technique needed to succeed. I’m new to both physics and ballet. Right now, I’m in Physics I (aka Classical Mechanics). We study a lot of force and motion and so on. A big reason why it took me so long to decide to study physics (roughly 3 years following HS) is because I often struggled to wrap my head around concepts in math and science in hs--but this is another story for a different day!

I’ve been researching ways to learn new concepts in math and science and have come across copious amounts of advice. Some more helpful than others. One thing that most people do say, however, is that you must learn how to build a curiosity about the subject and explore it from there. I could totally see how this works. My goal is to learn classical mechanics by applying it to ballet and in turn to learn the mechanism associated with executing good technique in ballet. Ultimately, I am working to dance professionally in ballet and be a physics researcher. 

[thegiandiediaries]

An Introduction

Welcome

Hello! Welcome to my blog, currently titled “The Cluttered Mind of Giandie: Physics, Ballet, & Polymathy”. It’s a bit of a wordy title, but I’m a bit of a wordy girl. So, it’s fitting. My name is Andie, but I also go by Gia and Giandie. Andie is a nickname derived of my birth name, whereas Gia is a name I gave to myself in a need to divide some of my interests up into a bit of an alter ego. 

About Andie

As Andie I am a college student studying Physics and Computer Science (soon to be Computer Engineering once I transfer schools). I love science and have always had an interest in it, but I have always had a hard time with focusing and math which initially made me study something completely unrelated--Comparative Literature. What, you might ask, even is Comparative Literature? Well, Comp Lit is the study of global literature. Whereas in an American Lit or British Lit class you’re studying literature specific to one country, with Comp Lit you’re studying literature that transcends borders. In order to study it more seriously at the graduate level, you must know 2-3 languages and be able to work within those. As someone who has an interest in learning multiple languages (specifically Italian, Turkish, French, Farsi, and Spanish) this major really resonated with me. However, after pursuing it I realized that it wasn’t fulfilling enough. I love to read, but it is a hobby. And I would love to translate literature, but as a hobby not as a career. And I am excited about learning multiple languages, but...well I’m sure you know what I’m about to type. 

So, I changed my focus completely and began studying CS and Physics. It’s not easy at all. But I find myself feeling fulfilled, excited, and I find the work (and money spent studying) worthwhile. I’m currently working in a Physics lab part time and tutoring elementary-high schoolers in CS part time. 

About Gia

As Gia I am a ballet dancer (in training). I was inspired early on to pursue ballet as it has been a lifelong interest. Unfortunately, I quit training around the same time I’d begun because I was insecure and, frankly, I didn’t know how to be disciplined and really dedicate myself to go after what it is I wanted. So, I didn’t.  But now, I am learning to dedicate myself. Despite the fact that as a ballet student I train under my real name, when I think about my life and categorize my pursuits, I place ballet under the moniker ‘Gia’. I find Gia to be a pretty name and I am able to have a separate identity and mindset when I am using it. It’s really helpful in compartmentalizing my lives!

About Giandie

Giandie is a mesh. It’s literally made up of ‘Gia’ and ‘Andie’. It’s where I categorize my musical interests and because this is a blog dedicated to both sides of my identity, it’s what I decided to name this blog. Some posts will be strictly Andie content, some strictly Gia, and some might fall into the slight grey area of Giandie. Either way, it all belongs. 

The Cluttered Mind

It’s no joke--my mind is a cluttered mess. I try to keep my life clutter-free as possible but that doesn’t always happen. I’m sure some of that will be evident here as it is a bit inevitable. 

So, that’s me! As I post more on this blog I’m sure you’ll come to find out more about me. See you around!