thegreatgatsbutt

[thegreatgatsbutt]

no matter how hard i try i will always be that little girl wondering why everyone is better friends with eachother than her and begging to be loved

[thegreatgatsbutt]

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

[thegreatgatsbutt]

love ppl online being like "ur literally 30" like do u think thats not gonna happen to you??

[thegreatgatsbutt]

Two ladybirds having a shag that i edited cbat over

[thegreatgatsbutt]

life is never dull with my curse #MyCurse

[thegreatgatsbutt]

My sweet beautiful innocent child has one reoccurring nightmare. It is that we (I assume it's her parents tho I can't be sure) will not allow her to scoop her own ice cream

So I just need you to imagine a tiny child just screaming like she's being murdered at 4 am "NO NO NO I NEED TO SHOOP IT FOR ME YOU NEED TO LET ME SHOOP IT"

like heart breaking that this is happening to her but damn girl

[thegreatgatsbutt]

It’s so crazy how you can measure the shifts in culture based on which race Ariana is pretending to be

[thegreatgatsbutt]

[thegreatgatsbutt]

Kitty Kitty was begging me to turn the sink on, but I was running so hard on autopilot that I didn't register that she wanted the sink to be Just A Little On, and I ended up turning it on full blast while her head was right under the faucet. Luckily she, like me, only possesses 3 brain cells, so she didn't consider getting upset, and instead just stared at me while purring as her forehead became increasingly drenched and I realized what I had done.

[thegreatgatsbutt]

make a minimum of 20 posts a day, be annoying as fuck, repeat things you said a few weeks ago, destroy your follower’s dashboards, never kill yourself

[thegreatgatsbutt]

there’s a place downtown where the freaks all come around

it’s a hole in the wall it’s a dirty free for all

[thegreatgatsbutt]

big fan of "one william" as a quantity. keep it up

[thegreatgatsbutt]

it sucks being an American because people from other countries will make fun of you for liking burger and you will try to be like NO! I EAT OTHER FOOD TOO! but you can't get the words out because you're too busy salivating over the idea of burger

[thegreatgatsbutt]

you ever been 24 minutes into a 47 minute long youtube video and you're randomly like wait i dont care about this at all. and just leave

[thegreatgatsbutt]

we do not need midnight sun. we need a twilight book from robert pattinson's pov

[thegreatgatsbutt]

This is the funniest tweet I’ve ever seen.