thehookyblog

[thehookyblog]

Aisha: You know what?

Aisha: When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.

*Mark, Amir and William continue screaming about mold water*

Aisha: Not the other way around.

Damien: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

[thehookyblog]

Amir: What makes you all smile?

Damien: Friends and Family.

Mark: Snacks.

Aisha: Victory and success.

William: Face muscles.

[thehookyblog]

William: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Mark: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Aisha: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Amir: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Damien: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

[thehookyblog]

Damien: That's it, you're grounded! William, no adventures for you! Amir, no fighting for you! Mark, no stealing for you! And Aisha... oh my god, is there anything that you love?

Aisha: Revenge.

Damien: No vengeance for you.

Aisha: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

[thehookyblog]

Amir: Why do humans have different blood groups?

Mark: So mosquitoes can enjoy different flavors.

[thehookyblog]

Mark: Would you rather kill Amir, or—

Damien: Yes, kill them.

Mark: I didn’t say the other thing—

Damien: I don’t need to hear it.

Amir: …I’m feeling a little unsafe.

[thehookyblog]

Damien: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Aisha: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Damien: They're not.

Aisha: Haha, very funny.

Damien: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Aisha: No... what happened?

Damien: ...Why would you fall for this again-

[thehookyblog]

William: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?

Mark: Why?

William: Amir fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.

Aisha: Damien doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

[thehookyblog]

Mark: You three, explain right now!

Damien: It was William.

Aisha: It was William.

Amir: It was William.

William:

William: …fuck.

[thehookyblog]

William: Hey, how did my phone break?

Damien: You were drunk yesterday.

William: And?

Aisha: You threw it.

William: Why?

Amir: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!”

William: And why didn’t you stop me?!

Mark: We were busy laughing our asses off.

[thehookyblog]

Aisha: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Damien: It was William.

Amir: It was William.

Mark: William broke it.

William:

William: ...yOU PROMISED-

[thehookyblog]

Mark: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Damien: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Aisha: Drunk.

Amir: Wasted.

William:  Dead.

[thehookyblog]

Mark: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

Aisha: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.

Amir: It’s called connotations.

Damien: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."

William: Great news! Language is now banned!

[thehookyblog]

Damien: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

William, Amir, Aisha, and Mark: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

[thehookyblog]

William: Why do you hang out with me?

Amir: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

William: …

William: I feel a bit sorry for you.