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Gryffindor: *banging on Slytherin's dormitory door*
Slytherin: *opens door* go away
Gryffindor: *sticks their foot in the door* wait! I need a favour-
Slytherin: don't care. Ravenclaw only pays me 9-5 to deal with you
Gryffindor: ...it's 5:01
Slytherin: I don't do overtime.
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Ravenclaw: hey Hufflepuff! How'd you sleep last night?
Hufflepuff: *shudders* I had a dream that I accidentally killed Gryffindor
*at the same time*
Ravenclaw: *concerned* a nightmare?
Slytherin: *hopeful* a prophecy?
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Gryffindor: *attempts to use a summoning charm on Ravenclaw's book to stop them reading*
Ravenclaw: *ends up being summoned themselves and crashes into Gryffindor*
Gryffindor: *laughs nervously* I guess you could say you fell for my charm?
Ravenclaw: you have a deathwish
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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*At a restaurant*
*when Hufflepuff is paying*
The waiter: what would you like?
Slytherin: just some water please
Hufflepuff: ...you don't want anything else?
Slytherin: *smiles sweetly* no, no this is fine for me thanks!
*when Gryffindor is paying*
The waiter: what would y-
Slytherin: everything on the menu
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post#funny
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Slytherin: *storms into the room and slams books onto the table*
Hufflepuff: *tentatively* I'm almost afraid to ask but- what happened?
Slytherin: Professor McGonagall thinks I'm immortal
Hufflepuff: i-i'm sorry?
Slytherin: *angrily gestures to books* she clearly thinks I'm immortal if she believes that I'm going to get all her assignments done before Gryffindor undoubtedly sends me to an early grave
Hufflepuff:
Gryffindor: I mean- I wasn't really planning on it but if you insist I guess-
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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*after 3 hours of procrastination*
Ravenclaw: alright guys, it's time to finally do some work-
Gryffindor: *suddenly covers Hufflepuff's ears* SHH!
Ravenclaw: ...excuse me?
Gryffindor: don't say that word!
Ravenclaw: ...what word?
Gryffindor: the 'w' word!
Ravenclaw: *confused* what- 'work'?
Gryffindor: *angrily* SHHHH! *gestures to Hufflepuff* not in front of the children!
Ravenclaw: *sarcastically* oh I see, so you can swear all the time, but I can't say the word 'work' in front of your "precious child"?
Gryffindor: you don't want to ruin Hufflepuff's day by mentioning this, how you say, 'work' in front of them, do you Raven?
Ravenclaw: *literally so done* this is literally your worst excuse to not do your work yet-
Hufflepuff: *ears still covered* you guys know that I can hear you, right?
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Slytherin: you know, I used to think that nothing is endless, that no matter what it is, it'll always have an end. That's what makes things so precious, right?
Ravenclaw: *impressed* wow Slytherin, that's such a profound thoug- wait- what do you mean used to?
Slytherin: but then I met Gryffindor
Ravenclaw:
Slytherin: and I realised that their obnoxious 'your mom' jokes are the exception to this rule
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Ravenclaw: Hey Hufflepuff! I was wondering if you could help me with something
Hufflepuff: yeah sure! I've always got time for a friend
Ravenclaw: great! Do you mind helping me sort out my books? I would do it myself but there are just so many of them
Hufflepuff:
Ravenclaw: err... Hufflepuff?
Hufflepuff:
Ravenclaw: ...do you- do you wanna help me?
Hufflepuff: I said I'd be willing to sacrifice some of my time
Hufflepuff: nowhere in that contract did I sign to sacrifice my sanity
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Ravenclaw: you do realise that your transfiguration essay is due tomorrow right?
Slytherin: *groans* will it really be the end of the world if I just don't do it?
Ravenclaw: I mean- no, but you will get detention
Slytherin: *thinks* I think I'm willing to make that sacrifice
*Gryffindor walks in*
Gryffindor: ugh I've got detention with McGonagall tomorrow night because I-
Slytherin: *pulls out a quill and some parchment* okay no, I am not risking detention with you of all people
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Slytherin: you remind me of a dandelion
Ravenclaw: *suspicious* why?
Slytherin: *smirks* because you make all my wishes come true
Ravenclaw: *blushes*
Gryffindor: *third-wheeling* I ate a dandelion once
Ravenclaw:
Slytherin:
Gryffindor: *shaking their head* tasted like shit
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Gryffindor: *falls down the stairs*
Hufflepuff: *automatically worried* sweet merlin Gryff! Are you okay??
Ravenclaw: *rolls eyes* pathetic
Slytherin: *pulling out camera* wait I didn't get that, can you do it again?
#slytherclaw#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Gryffindor: *running into the room, panicked* HEY SLYTHERIN DO YOU WANT THIS CHOCOLATE BAR??
Slytherin: wait what? Err-
Gryffindor: GREAT! *Throws chocolate bar into Slytherins lap* YOU CAN THANK ME LATER! *Runs out the room*
Slytherin: ...why do I feel like I've just been handed a grenade-
Ravenclaw: *runs into the room seconds later, eyes zeroing in on Slytherin*
Ravenclaw: YOU
Slytherin: ...oh no
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Slytherin: okay okay what if, we try putting the fireworks in the charms corridor
Gryffindor: yes!! We can try and spell them to go off just as everyone starts to leave the classrooms.
Slytherin: *starts cackling* can you imagine? The utter CHAOS
Ravenclaw: ...are you guys seriously not seeing anything wrong with this plan?
...
Gryffindor: oh shoot you're right!
Ravenclaw: *sighs in relief*
Gryffindor: we should put them in the great hall instead, maybe we can try aim a few at the staff table too-
Slytherin: Holy shit that's genius
Ravenclaw:
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Slytherin: *singing* what if we reeeeewrite the stars!
Gryffindor: *joining in* say you were maaaaade to be mine!
Slytherin: *vibing* nothing could keeeeep us apart!
Gryffindor: except that you are a bitch to me all of the timeeee!
Slytherin:
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Hufflepuff: *for the millionth time that day* ughhh I have so much work to do
Ravenclaw: ...okay bear with me here- what if...instead of complaining about how much work you have to do, you actually DO the work that you have to do
...
Hufflepuff: No
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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Ravenclaw: you know, I have some free time later on, maybe I should ask Slytherin if they'd like to hang out
Hufflepuff: Pfft- hanging out with Slytherin? It's like you're begging to get grey hairs early
Slytherin: *offended face* excuse me? I'll have you know everyone thinks I'm a delight to be around
...
Gryffindor: ...who is 'everyone'?
#gryffindor#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#text post#harry potter text post
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