theknightandhersteed

[theknightandhersteed]

just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

[theknightandhersteed]

hghdhd

Coincidentally, this is also the sound I make when I have to get out of bed in the morning

F

[theknightandhersteed]

"love is what makes us human" actually it's 'select all images with boat' but go off I guess

[theknightandhersteed]

Chapters: 1/50 (COMES OUT WEEKLY ON WEDNESDAYS) Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

I am using the TMA world as my own personal playground Series: Part 1 of TOAHLF Summary:

The Eye is closer to The Spiral than you might think... --- What if the Head of Artefact Storage was an avatar of the Spiral? This would change a lot more than you might think, starting with Gertrude's early retirement and going all the way to the Mother's grand plan. Let's see how it plays out, shall we?

Or: it's an AU where the gang stays in research and lives out a wonderful office comedy while all the horrible things happen to two idiots instead

---

GUYS I AM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY SHARE THIS WITH YOU

I've always thought that TMA needed more office comedy, and here I am, bringing you a plate of office comedy*

*It's a horror

[theknightandhersteed]

so my apartment building got a notice board to post fire alarm tests and maintenance announcements and such. the building is pretty well-maintained, so we rarely get notices. the board is big and grey and to think it would be empty like that 99% of the time was a bland boring sin i just couldn't bear, so i vandalized the corner of its empty canvas with a teeny tiny Guy

and within a few days, there was a sudden addition from my one of my neighbors along with a Bunch of thumbtacks. this was an unexpected, but welcome surprise!

well there was still so much space, i figured i'd add another crumb to the art hoard. i'd been playing genshin that day so i drew my favorite grandpa

and like clockwork, new art manifested!! this person is gonna grow to be a great artist i know it. the detail in those stones? hell yeah that's cool.

we're two weeks into it. more neighbors have joined in with their artwork. who knew there were so many artists in my building?? we're onto somethin great here i just know it.

[theknightandhersteed]

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

[theknightandhersteed]

this is so bad, I need to (remembers suicide jokes worsen my mental health) be distributed by rusty quill under a creative commons attribution non commercial share-alike 4.0 international license

[theknightandhersteed]

[theknightandhersteed]

Project 2025 Cliff Notes:

1. Complete ban on abortions, without exceptions (pg. 449-503)

2. End marriage equality (pg. 545-581)

3. Elimination of unions and worker protections (pg. 581)

4. Defund the FBI and Homeland Security (pg. 133)

5. Eliminate federal agencies like the FDA, EPA, NOAA, and more (pg. 363-417)

6. Mass deportation of immigrants and incarceration in "camps" (pg. 133)

7. End birthright citizenship (pg. 133)

8. Cut Social Security (pg. 691)

9. Cut Medicare (pg. 449)

10. Eliminate the Department of Education (pg. 319)

11. Teach Christian religious beliefs in public schools (pg. 319)

12. Use public, taxpayer money for private religious schools (pg. 319)

13. End the Affordable Care Act (pg. 449)

14. Ban contraceptives (pg. 449)

15. Additional tax breaks for corporations and the 1% (pg. 691)

16. End civil rights & DEI protections in government (pg. 545-581)

17. Ban African American and gender studies in all levels of education (pg. 319)

18. End climate protections: (pg. 417)

19. Increase Arctic drilling (pg. 363)

20. Deregulate big business and the oil industry (pg. 363)

Not to increase anxiety, but I found this buried on Reddit. From six months ago. very good thing to have in your pocket so you are prepared

[theknightandhersteed]

sometimes you just need to be distributed by rusty quill and licensed under a creative commons attribution non commercial share-alike 4.0 international licence

[theknightandhersteed]

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

Why is he just like me frfr

(yes I am an avatar of the Spiral in TMA, why do you ask?)

In more seriousness, I am just amazed by how incredible this is. Every little detail is incredible, I could die. His little smile when the people look away? EVERYTHING

HE IS ME

Okay I'll shut up

fun lil anim with my character peepers!

[theknightandhersteed]

The Magnus Protocol really be like

The Magnus Archives 2: electric boogaloo

Jon and Martin are now robots stuck in the cyber apocalypse which is happening exclusively on Windows 95. There is also an office sitcom happening in the foreground of a Millennial boss trying to get along with her Gen Z employees.

Jon still reads you spooky stories.

[theknightandhersteed]

Me, bleeding: yeah well you should've seen the OTHER guy

The other guy: *is a horse*

Me: *eyes rolling back into my head* horsehORSEHORSEHORSEHORSEHORSE

[theknightandhersteed]

Nikola: Oh, Elias, can I call you Elias? I now have your silly little archivist tied to a chair, I was going to start skinning him now, but his skin is fucking ugly! I mean, look at how dry the man is! And haven't you been feeding him? He barely HAS skin!

Jon: *Sad gagged noises*

[theknightandhersteed]

I would like to throw Jonah Magnus into Salesa's evil meat grinder

[theknightandhersteed]

I got new suitcases and I thought it was a set of two, so a box came and I was confused because shouldn't there be two boxes?? But then I got out the big suitcase and opened it and the other suitcase was inside of it!! Like Russian nesting dolls!! And I had a lovely giggle over thinking how funny an unboxing would be. Like what's in the suitcase?? It's another smaller identical suitcase!! Anyway, so I take the smaller suitcase out and I open it and I get jumpscared by YET ANOTHER SMALLER IDENTICAL SUITCASE.

And I just had to sit back for a moment and make sure I wasn't going insane. So I checked, and apparently it was a set of three. Heartbeat barely slowing, I looked back at the suitcase. I had this terrible sinking feeling that I'd be revealing smaller and smaller suitcases forever until I died. Infinite zippers, identical suitcases folding in on infinity. Gazing into the void unbidden to my fate, I tentatively unzipped the third suitcase.

And it was empty!!

So yeah, it was just a pack of three. Which was what I ordered.

[theknightandhersteed]

Me, listening to the first episode of The Magnus Protocol: *clawing at the walls* MARTIN?! MY SWEET BABY BOY???? WHERE DID THEY PUT YOU?!!?!? PSPSPSPSPSPSPS MARTIN!!!!!!!!!