thelyssalouann-blog-blog - Tumblr blog

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

High there

Fuckin right! lets stay this high forever and never come down! 

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Only do you I see the sunshine in your eyes...

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

This is my life now... the life of laying in the cloudss

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

I can't...I can't go back to creating scars....

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Scared

Life is getting better. Christmas was amazing... just terrified about the year that's to come.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

...

I think I'm subconsciously anorexic....I don't eat anymore...and I'm okay with that

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Glad

I feel bad for my friend she went through a lot...just glad it wasn't me...I'd kill myself.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Feeling alone...again

I don't like anyone at my school...but when a guy shows my interest I lead them on...I know it's cruel and I hate it. But it makes me feel wanted and not so alone.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Smoking cigarettes

Well I got in trouble a month or so ago with the officer at the school and now I have to go to a smoking seminar. I hope they ask me why I smoke. So I can explain my mental illness and the fact I avoid eating by smoking. And that I'm slowing killing myself.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Loneliness

Loneliness is the hardest thing for me to cope with...I know I'm not alone...I have my family...and like 2 people I can count on. But there is still an emptiness I feel deep in my heart...I want someone to fill it. I am stronger than some and don't settle for less than what I think i deserve...but I'm crumbling slowly...

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

For 3 days

All I've done is cry and cry and cry. I'm waiting for my manic to kick in so my eyes don't burn anymore.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Cause we think we're okay...then we see what we truly desire....

I’m so content with being by myself and alone but the second I see people I know hanging out and having a good time I absolutely hate being alone.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

When I....

Was younger I thought how odd it would be to be bipolar...to be happy one moment and sad the next...then to now know I've had it my whole life makes me laugh at how innocent we can be and how care free was are...even when we are living in hell.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

I can't help but think if life was different I'd know what to do with my life.

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Had an amazing time flyin high with my buddy 😊

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

I can't bring myself to be happy....even sitting in the dentists chair waiting....I can't let myself be happy. I taint every good memory with a bad one. :(

[thelyssalouann-blog-blog]

Uh-Oh

I'm falling for a guy who is 21...I've known him since I was 13. He's always been there for me when I reached out to him. Honestly I think he's perfect. But my parents would flip if they even knew I liked him...oh well...I have bigger issues...