themaxbeard - Tumblr blog

[themaxbeard]

[themaxbeard]

Kinda on an axolotl kick…

Panthera Arven on Instagram / Etsy

[themaxbeard]

Gives me Area X energy

Panthera Arven on Instagram / Etsy

[themaxbeard]

Horrible dnd ideas

Homebrew a clown class.

Make the whole party clowns.

Buy a small carosse.

Drive slowly and unthreating as possible to the bbeg private room.

-it is a tiny carosse, how bad can it me?

*7 clowns come out*

[themaxbeard]

Fuck sex. I'm tryin to B there 4 u when yo anxiety kicks in & yo depression takes over. Baby I'm cut different

[themaxbeard]

Anyone else remember that trend in old movies where a guy would just pull half a sandwich out of his pocket and eat it? And everyone was like “yeah no totally normal, not anything we need to bring up”.

1. What was that?

2. Why aren’t we still doing it?

I demand the return of pocket sandwich.

[themaxbeard]

Y’all I finished it but I don’t really remember it cuz, well, edibles.

I’ve been reading dead astronauts by Jeff vandermeer, and it is a challenge, but I love it.

The pickle I’m in is that I take my edibles and try to read and I only get about an hour deep before I read what feels like an ambien fever dream.

Someday I’ll finish it.

[themaxbeard]

Haha apes go brrr

hey guys i'm going to take a nice relaxing nap on Monkey Attack Beach it looks so peaceful i am already falling asleep i hope nothing happens to me

[themaxbeard]

In an attempt to deal with their reputation, the orc horde is reverse raiding, where they show up at your town to build new houses and give everyone gold.

[themaxbeard]

THINGS I AM UNREASONABLY ANNOYED ABOUT BY GAME SYSTEM

D&D: Please put a disclaimer that you are not a universal system. Every time I see someone try to do a political mystery game in D&D, I take 3d10 psychic damage and have to make a death saving throw.

Pathfinder: Look. If i wanted to play a game about fighting Cthulhu there is an extremely famous game specifically designed around doing that. Literally no-one is ever going to say "Wow, I want to play a Cthulhu themed game! Time to stat up a musical halfling from a magical fantasy land!".

Chronicles Of Darkness: Just admit no-one uses any of your rules. You have Social Door Rules and Integrity Conditions and Corruption Levels and I bet at most 50% of COD players could tell me which of those I made up. Just admit people aren't dressing up as Alucard The Bringer Of Shadows because they want to sit down and do calculus.

World Of Darkness: You know that old guy who's still doing his job even though he is way too old to do it any more, but he's now an institution so you can't get rid of him? Like that. The 90s called and they want literally everything about this back.

Call Of Cthulhu: I appreciate the commitment to authenticity, but maybe stop hiring actual disgraced mental asylum directors from the 1920s to design your sanity system?

GURPS: Look. Look. Listen. We both know that you just want to write history textbooks. These are history textbooks with a few stat blocks begrudgingly put in. If you just give me a book on early Chinese history I will read it and go "ah, very interesting!". You don't need to put in a list of character choices. We're all nerds. We'll read them. Live your best life.

Powered By The Apocalypse: I actually can't think of anything wrong with PBTA. That's not a bit, this is literally the perfect system. Take notes everyone else.

Mutants and Masterminds/Heroes System: Your systems have probably the most customizable character creation in the world and you both just make reskins of the Justice League over and over again. Maybe we only need one "thinly veiled copyrighted characters" setting? You can fight over it once you decipher your combat mechanics.

FATE: Ok I won't lie, I have no idea how the fuck FATE works. I have read the rules repeatedly and played three games and I still have no idea what invoking an aspect means. I don't know why. I grasped the rules of fucking Nobilis but this one just psychologically eludes me. This is more a problem with me I guess, but I'm still annoyed.

Warhammer 40k: Have you considered spending less on avocado toast? Then you might be able to afford to charge less for things?

Exalted: Apart from the lore, the setting, the mechanics, the metaplot, the character creation and the dodgy narrative implications, I can't think of anything to improve here.

[themaxbeard]

Remember these terms for professions to help encourage gender neutral language!

[themaxbeard]

I’ve been reading dead astronauts by Jeff vandermeer, and it is a challenge, but I love it.

The pickle I’m in is that I take my edibles and try to read and I only get about an hour deep before I read what feels like an ambien fever dream.

Someday I’ll finish it.

[themaxbeard]

Love the light is seems to give off more than anything.

Mushroom Lamps // London Home Co

[themaxbeard]

Desert Astronaut by Kayla Harren

This image was inspired by the book BORNE by Jeff VanderMeer

[themaxbeard]

❤️ can’t wait to see wick

to me, Rachel is API maybe Kiwi? wip/concept

[themaxbeard]

One of my favorite gods and boon sets. This art rules.

The piece I did for @ares-zine ! Leftover sales are starting soon so get your copy while there is still some left!

[themaxbeard]

god of nothing