thephantomsflutist

[thephantomsflutist]

So, I'm probably going to deactivate this blog.

I don't believe I will be updating my fanfic projects any time soon if ever. I won't take them down though in case something changes.

I don't have many followers on here, anyway.

My interests and my life has changed, to be honest, and if I ever write again for Marvel (most specifically Loki), it'll likely be completely different. Unless, of course, something good happens in Avengers 4 in which case I might be moved back into the fandom.

Thank you all for your support through the years, though, as well as the community and friendship but it's time to move on into new realms of existence on the internet.

Feel free to catch me at my main blog @findingasgard where I'll post fun Marvel stuff along other things not Marvel.

[thephantomsflutist]

A thought on godhood and Loki’s place in the universe, since he spends so much time worrying about where he belongs and who he belongs to.

Something occurred to me about the MCU:

Odin has three children.

Thor, the God of Thunder.

The god of rainclouds that promise to wash the sky clean, that water the earth and give life to crops.

The god of lightning, the electric spark that floods the brain and keeps the heart pumping.

The god who smiles on farmers and bids them fertility.

Thor, a god of beginnings, a god of life.

Hela, the Goddess of Death.

The goddess of the fallen, the lost, the tired dead ready for their last journey.

The goddess of memory, of shrines and tombstones, she who returned and demanded that the realm’s roots and the blood that coats them not be allowed to fade into nothingness.

The goddess who’s name is evoked only with whispered, wary tones.

A goddess of endings, a goddess of death.

Loki, the God of Mischief.

The god of laughter and eased tensions, and not taking life so seriously you miss it entirely.

The god of folk-heroes, of Robin Hoods and Odysseuses, the patron of clever foxes who solve their problems with brain and not brawn.

The god of chaos and pandemonium, the shapeshifter who finds a new face, a new path when the old one can’t keep up with a new world.

A god of changes, a god of second chances and new beginnings.

Loki is exactly where he is meant to be, and who he is meant to be.

[thephantomsflutist]

Some do battle, others just do tricks.

[thephantomsflutist]

I have an army.

By: 树小亦

Follow MR.NOWDO on tumblr

now-do.com

[thephantomsflutist]

@juliabohemian every time I try to reblog your posts Tumblr won’t let me, but I know you don’t have me blocked so this is a strange conundrum indeed. Anyway you posted something that just circulated my dash and I spent a while making an addition, so here it is: 

Not to compound your heartache, but I’ve been writing about this stuff since 2012 and it’s even worse than that.  

The entire Thor narrative has brought Odin’s family full circle back to where they began in 2011′s first film.  I mean this in terms of filial dynamics and discrete roles within a dysfunctional family structure.  Not only is Loki still always the responsible party for everyone’s missteps and crimes, the “progress” that the family has made is actually a regression that reinforces his scapegoat role.

This is why when others are endlessly celebratory about the moment in Infinity War during which Loki refers to himself as “Odinson,” I cringe.

Because Loki WAS allowed a redemption, in Ragnarok, and then, in Infinity War: but one contingent upon Thor’s, and, by extension, Odin’s, idea of what connotes heroism (and, even though Mjolnir is long gone, “worthiness”).   Loki became a hero when Loki stopped having his own thoughts about what to do after Hela’s invasion, when he stopped having ANY healthy notions of self-preservation, and when he followed THOR’S plan to defeat Hela.  ONLY when Loki emulated Thor did Loki become a hero.  The one thing that has always driven Loki to lack inner peace has been incessant negative comparison to Thor.  So it’s only in an extremely toxic message of SELF-ERASURE that he completes the Thor films’ narrative of “healing” and “redemption.”  Just like when Odin imprisoned both Hela and Loki under Asgard, to ritually erase them both from the fabric of his family tree, only FAR more subtle and insidious, by giving him NO OTHER OPTION FOR LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE BY HIS SOLE LIVING FAMILY MEMBER (Thor) EXCEPT TO “CHOOSE” TO STAND AND FIGHT (AND DIE) AT THOR’S SIDE.  

Loki is only granted redemption when Loki IS NO LONGER LOKI.

 And the freakiest part about this is that the broader Marvel audience has accepted this as “evidence” that Loki “was a hero all along” and it is the ONE THING that has made fans lighten up on hating him.  The story stuffed Loki, who is a marvelous gray-amoral antihero, in a hero box–and not just ANY HERO BOX, but the box labeled “ultimate self-sacrifice in death, even against characterization and logic.”

Think about it.  

–What was Loki in Thor 1?  A passive receptacle for Thor’s warmongering and impulsivity, who must “shut up” and “know his place” at all times, whose plans to divert Thor from a disastrous place on the Throne were thinly veiled by the “heroes” as “treason” and “a whiny jealous younger brother’s petty vendetta.”  

–What was Loki in The Dark World?  A prisoner Odin and Thor genuinely hoped the world would forget, whose inconvenient truths about mirroring his father and brother’s warmongering on a protected (translate: already “owned”–claimed by Thor as “his” because of Jane Foster)  territory of Asgard (Midgard) got him thrown in prison for life. Odin was angrier that Loki brought up these truths of Odin’s hypocrisy than he was that Loki tried to take Midgard as his own.  Because unlike Thor, Odin couldn’t control Loki’s cognitions and beliefs. He never could.   And when was Loki released from prison? Only when he became useful to Thor.  A passive receptacle, being retrained as such, being told his mission basically to escape Thanos’s abuse with Midgard as a consolation prize was basically just a “childish tantrum” for which he should be gaslit and punished. And when was Loki forgiven? When did Thor weep for him, and say he’d take memory of his noble deeds to their father?  ONLY when it appeared he had made a self-sacrifice in extremis, and was dying.

–What was Loki in Ragnarok?  A traitor and a laughable clown. How dare he lay around eating grapes and watching theater that craftily reinvented his image to a previously disdainful populace?  How dare he SURVIVE?  Thor is angrier at Loki for surviving, seemingly, than he is relieved! Simply because Loki didn’t die for him, so of course, to Thor, it’s tantamount to another betrayal, it can’t be anything in between total self-effacement and total selfishness: it isn’t all about Thor, God forbid!  Loki must be again a passive receptacle! How dare he cunningly outwit all of that lifelong conditioning to be silent and obeisant?  So Thor acts juvenile, and emotionally strongarms Loki (yep, electrocution scene) and refuses to speak to him, and unfairly blames him for Hela’s return (WHEN IT’S ODIN WHO RAISED HELA TO BE A MONSTER AND THEN IMPRISONED HER! but if you’re groomed to be a narcissist by your father and emotionally dependent on your father’s praise then you can’t turn on your father, EVER) untilllll? Loki shows up with a ship from Sakaar and fights on Thor’s behalf.  

“If you were here I’d give you a hug” translates to “If you would only abide by MY rules for what connotes a good person (cause after all Thor knows best, right? ‘That’s what heroes do!’) then I’d reward you for it.”  And the whole movie ends with Loki going “I’m here” which is tantamount to saying “I YIELD.”

PASSIVE. RECEPTACLE.

Ergo Odin remains the benevolent all-controlling patriarch. Ergo Thor remains the petulant narcissist who always gets his way. Ergo Frigga, dead, is more absent from stopping the toxicity than ever, because fridging! Ergo, Loki remains the silent scapegoat.

Seven. Years. Of films.  And counting.

[thephantomsflutist]

Loki’s magic uses all these very subtle physical cues and I am kind of here for it.

Wrist/hand flick 

Nod/look downwards

Wrist flick

Wrist flick again

Nod/look upwards

Wrist/hand flick

Very subtle finger tap/wrist movement

[thephantomsflutist]

This is my frustration with Marvel in a nutshell.

My issue with the portrayal of the Odinson family is not that they are dysfunctional. All families have some degree of dysfunction. In fiction, that makes them interesting. My issue is with the fact that the only one who seems to be held accountable for that dysfunction is Loki. Especially when…

ODIN: Lied to Loki about his origins, probably took Loki for purely political reasons -even if he developed an affinity for him over time, allowed Loki to think he was born to be a king when there was no way in hell he was going to inherit the throne of Asgard, favored Thor and cast Loki aside to the point where Loki developed a complex as a result (because a person doesn’t just magically become bitter out of thin air -it’s a response to something). Also, he didn’t come in person to tell Loki that his mother had died.

FRIGGA: Also lied to Loki about his origins, didn’t stand up to Odin in regards to his treatment of Loki or favoritism of Thor. Went along with Odin sentencing Loki to life in prison.

THOR: Bullied Loki fairly consistently -even if it was purely a result of the culture he was raised in and his father’s shitty parenting, didn’t visit Loki in prison until he needed something from him, and not even going to get into the electrocution torture scene in Ragnarok.

The problem is that all of these characters were allowed redemption or hero status, despite the seriousness of their actions. But Loki is not “allowed” to be redeemed for anything he has done. Odin is forgiven because he cried a tear (of I’m assuming pride?) when Thor had a change of heart about destroying the Frost Giants. Odin is forgiven because he told his sons he loved them before dying mysteriously, without resolving anything. Frigga is forgiven because she was murdered by a Dark Elf. Thor is forgiven because he’s the title character and could probably set Loki on fire and shove him off a cliff and people would make memes about what a great big brother he is for doing that.

Loki has done shitty things. No doubt. But it seems like any good things he does somehow don’t “count” because of those things. And I find this utterly confusing. I despise the message this sends people. That if you are strange, or you don’t fit in…any terrible things you do will define you forever.

[thephantomsflutist]

Loki Never Faked His Death

I’ve seen enough times that in discussions, people almost always bring up this argument that Loki intentionally faked his death and count it as one of his wrong doings. It has specially happened more often after TR and its retcons and the narrative’s attempt to dismiss and diminish Loki’s pain. They claim that Loki faked his death twice, in Thor 1 and TDW. Here’s why this assumption is wrong:

1. In Thor(2011) Loki committed suicide.

Everything Loki did in Thor 1 was to prove to Odin that he is a worthy son. He is not in a right mental state. After he finds out about the truth of his parentage the thin steel rod that’s been holding his brain together snaps according to Kenneth Branagh. So he thinks by eliminating the danger of Jotunheim he is doing what Odin wants of him. Because Odin wanted to use Loki to bring permanent peace. So Loki in his disordered state of mind thinks by attempting genocide and killing all the monsters once and for all, he is doing his kingdom and Odin a favor. Because he is nullifying the enemy’s danger like what Odin wanted to use him for in the first place. All he wants is Odin’s approval and acknowledgment. In the scene when he is holding the Gungnir, he is literally and figuratively hanging by a thin thread on the edge of an abyss. He tells Odin:

“I could have done it father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!”

He looks hopefully to Odin. This is his last hope to be accepted. Instead all Loki hears is a disappointed “No Loki”. All Loki sees is disapproval, rejection and disappointment. This breaks Loki. He has lost everything.

And then Loki lets go, not just physically but mentally. He doesn’t see any place, love and acceptance for himself. He doesn’t want to live anymore. He lets go and commits suicide.

Possible counterarguments:

“Loki wanted to escape from the consequences of his actions.”

All Loki cares about at that point is Odin’s approval. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He has grown up in a racist culture that sees Jotuns as monsters who are inferior, monsters and lesser people. He was also the rightful king at the time that was betrayed by his subjects and since Asgard is a monarchy, the king’s order is the law and he can’t be punished for his actions as the king.

“Loki knew he would survive.”

According to the “Thor the Dark World Prelude” comic which is part of MCU canon the general knowledge is that when someone falls in the void, they will die. Everyone believed Loki died. That means this is also what Loki believed to happen. It was Frigga who searched for Loki and finally found out that Loki is alive.

“Why didn’t Loki tell his family that he is alive?”

First reason is that Loki has broken ties with his family at that time. He is hurt and heartbroken and probably doesn’t want to see them again. Second, when Heimdall could finally see him he was with the Chitauri and had the scepter. We know before that he was with Thanos and possibly under torture and most probably he would rather be found. Frigga only found him after he was “ready to lead”. And since neither her nor Heimdall knew about Thanos’ involvement, we can conclude that it was Thanos who stopped Loki from being found.

Where does this assumption come from that Loki’s suicide was his attempt at faking his death?

Because there is a scene in TR, in which Loki jokes and laughs about his attempted suicide. As if it was a funny and unimportant thing. Just a story for entertainment. This scene is put in the movie to show all the pain Loki went through was nothing, to further the retcon that all Loki does, are tricks and he does them because he has no other reason except that he is the god of mischief.

2. In TDW Loki didn’t intentionally fake his death. He only survived.

I explained this many times before. So I just copy my explanation from another one of my posts.

“Loki didn’t fake his death to usurp Odin:

1. Loki’s illusions can’t hold upon contact. They get either dissolved or disoriented. In other words they are like images and projections. They are not solid unless they are put on an actual person. Like when Loki was putting illusion on Thor and himself, or when he was Odin and Thor had grabbed him and the illusion didn’t wear off until Loki wanted. So Loki actually was stabbed through the chest to save Thor.

2. The stabbing through chest wasn’t and couldn’t have been planned. Loki didn’t know that the blade couldn’t kill the Kursed. He couldn’t know that Kursed would then impale him on the blade. He also didn’t know if Kursed would hold him on the blade until he died or throw him away sooner. So when he activated that grenade he did it with complete knowledge that it could kill him too. So he also didn’t know that he would survive the stabbing and he didn’t have any hope for it. Because he instantly activated sth that could kill him too. So his apology to Thor was also sincere.

Loki’s sacrifice was real. His only fault!!! was that he survived. And when he survived he took advantage of his situation. He didn’t inform Thor because Thor had promised to return him to his cell. He usurped the throne to take revenge on Odin and in doing so he not only protected Thor and his friends from the consequence of their treason, he made sure to separate the Tesseract and the Aether. Not to mention he offered the throne to Thor and Thor refused.”[X]

Where does this assumption come from that Loki faked his death in TDW?

Thor tells Loki: “You faked your own death” in TR and then continues to blame Loki for everything that happened. And because Thor is the hero of the narrative, people accept everything he says as the truth. It doesn’t matter to them that in the same movie Thor constantly throw things at Loki to know if he is actually there which further proves that Loki’s illusions are not solid.

In conclusion, Loki never faked his death intentionally. He never did it to hurt Thor. He committed suicide when he let go of Gungnir because he had lost all hope that he could ever be a worthy son in the eye of Odin. He was actually stabbed in TDW to save Thor’s life and he thought he was going to die but he survived and took advantage of the situation. His sacrifice was real and the fact that he did survive, doesn’t diminish its value. Loki never intentionally faked his death.

[thephantomsflutist]

forever burning

[thephantomsflutist]

Loki stans :

[thephantomsflutist]

Loki: Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice?

Jane: Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything…

Loki: No, no, no. Don’t stop now, go on. Something that rhymes with sarcasm, if you find it I let you be on top tonight. ;)

Jane,blushing: Why are you like this?

[thephantomsflutist]

Free

[thephantomsflutist]

[thephantomsflutist]

This is the official “Marvel Studios Visual Dictionary”, set to release on September 25, 2018 on Amazon.com:

This is Loki’s page:

And here it is:

Not that difficult, is it?

[thephantomsflutist]

Some people think, when they find out you love Loki, it’s only because you must be crazy over Tom Hiddleston. Yes, I do love Tom Hiddleston, because of Loki. I’m very thankful to Tom for giving us Loki. But, the way I feel about Loki is completely different!! I have never loved or cared about a character so much in my life! I don’t even see Tom Hiddleston when I look at Loki! I just see Loki! Does this make sense?

[thephantomsflutist]

Fic tag: slow burn

Me, cracking my knuckles: not if you read it fast enough

[thephantomsflutist]

my entire brain in a post-IW world, in image form