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Waiting in Vain

Growing up, I was always frustrated by how people would say, 

“Yup, I’ll be there. I will be there to support you. Promise.” 

Their words as enticing as chocolate and their promises as deceiving as wine. 

And so I would wait for them to show up for a bonding or for a performance of mine at church or in school. 

‘Late na siya. Start na ang show. Pabigyan na nga. Fifteen minutes.’ [He/She is late. The show is already starting. Oh well, I just have to be patient. I’ll give him/her fifteen minutes.]  

And it is after the waiting, after the show, that you feel the mix of both victory and pain. 

A few minutes later after the show, you receive a text.... 

“Hey my friend, congrats on the concert! Sorry I couldn’t make it there. Had a bonding kasi with my barkada.” [It’s because I had a bonding with my close circle of friends]. 

Should you reply to the person,  or even shut off the phone? 

Wow. I mean, granted that person had an explanation for why they couldn’t show up and granted that they are busy people. But to text me after the success of a concert that this close friend of mine is at a bonding with HIS BARKADA. 

So, I’m not part of your group of friends? Don’t I matter to you? 

This heartbreak of failure from my close friends whom I considered “FRIENDS” [gosh, why did I even] made me strive to be the best type of friend to those who needed my friendship. 

I promised to be the shoulder they needed to cry on, the person they needed to rant to, the radio DJ they needed advice from, the guy who buys food and shares it. 

I wanted to be everything that my former close friends could not do for me. It was painful, yes. Sometimes, I still remember those heartbreaking moments. 

And here I am, still waiting. Waiting in vain. That one day they would realize their fault. Maybe they never will. I guess this is where moving on comes in. 

So here’s a few tips from me on how to deal with friends: 

 Always listen to those who need someone to talk to. You’re doing a BIG. Really BIG favor if you just listen and hear them out. You don’t know what help you are giving to them. Sometimes their other friends will never really care or bother. So BE THE FRIEND.

 Next, don’t make promises you can’t keep. Assure them or encourage them if they have something big like a concert or performance. Tell them that you will try but also present to them your busy schedule. Don’t make it seem to them that they are burden or an obstacle for your other activities. 

Learn to say sorry. Admit your faults. Friendships last when you learn to be humble. It’s not easy but in relationships you need to learn how to admit that you are a work-in-progress who still needs to mature. 

Love them. Many people just want a best friend. You may have many good friends but I urge you to be a best friend to those who need one. Don’t send them away. Be their model. Their beacon of hope. Give them hugs. Send them texts. Pray for them. 

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You say it best when you say nothing at all... <3 

Love is a gift and I give it to you. 

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That Thing Called “Walang Forever”

                                        Nothing lasts forever. 

Walang forever, as the trendy saying has been going in the Philippines.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been on Tumblr but whenever I do have time to make a blog, I try my best to pursue it. So here’s  what has been bothering me thus far.

Over the past year, I’ve been feeling this heavy burden for people at my school. A burden that I’ve never felt or experienced before in my entire life, something like the ring Frodo had to bear in the Lord of the Rings. Or if you have read “The Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan, I felt like I was carrying that baggage like Christian the main character. And yes, the book is beautiful and well-written. It has the feel of the Bible and the Lord of the Rings combined. 

And like Christian (above), I came to a point wherein I straight-forwardly asked,

               “Lord, why?”

 If you’ve never asked God that question, you’ll probably do so later on in your life. I mean, there’s nothing----NOTHING--- wrong with questioning or asking actually. It really feels good to talk to God all throughout the day. I mean, you can tell Him almost anything. To think that He’s never busy and that He hears everything.

This semester, I’m enrolled in a subject known as Philosophical Anthropology wherein I have learned that we humans are relational beings and that we need someone to depend on. For me, God has always been there. And I’ve been depending on Him.  

Everyday, I walk through the corridors of school which allows me to bump into all sorts of people. Here I can pick up people cursing about how bad their day is, always equating human excrement to their experiences or any other vile word they could possibly think of. Others would be the lonely quiet types sitting on the floor scrolling their phones and from time to time glancing at their notes for a difficult quiz to be ushered in five minutes. And then you also have the really smart people, the ones who debate and discuss about everything they find interesting like politics, entertainment, morality, religion, and even food. And all of a sudden, here I am walking the marble floor of my university seeing these people. My burden gets heavier. It wasn’t the weight of my backpack but of course I do believe my bag is heavy since I didn’t invest in a locker. Haha!

               And here I find myself asking the same question as I earlier stated, “Why? Lord, bakit ba ganito?” 

(translated: Why? Lord, why do things have to be this way?)

Just a little backtrack, God has been impressing on my heart a burden to encourage people or just simply reach out to them ever since. I’d try everything to build them up: from giving them advice, praying for their concerns, and even in rare yet special occasions... buy ice cream. :D

It just felt so good inside to be able to touch someone’s soul, to brighten their day, or just to inspire them. To think that my university is small and yet it feels to challenging to make a big difference. Very challenging to let each one see the love of Jesus, His grace, and His mercy. And then things get even heavier cause you then realize that time is running out.

Literally. The world is ending. Jesus is coming back.  

The picture above basically summarizes all that I am feeling now. I walk around the school and I see people who do not know who God is or shall I say those who don’t share that intimate personal relationship with Him which we Christians have. It’s one of those moments wherein you feel like a superhero who has to save the whole earth but just can’t because he’s torn between his family and a bunch of people he doesn’t know. 

We do not know how long we will be living in this world. I for one want everyone in my university to be saved---especially those in the entire world----, knowing how small and accessible it is. There are moments wherein I just want to share the Gospel to everyone in the campus. Why?

I could only imagine how my classmates or friends would feel once we get raptured into heaven and they are left behind. I can’t imagine them going through even so much greater pain and hardship on Earth. 

Though the pressure is heavy and the responsibility great, I know that God will use me and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ here in UA&P. It may not be today, but in the future days to come. The thing we just need to remember is that time is running. Are we expanding the Kingdom or are we just living in the comforts that we are so used to? 

I’m only here to pose a question and to inspire our fellow believers to make sure you influence those people around you. You never know how long you will get to be with them so make the most out of everything. :) We may have time or limits here on Earth but in Heaven or in the afterlife, it is an eternity. 

Make every action count. Be a blessing. Make use of the God-given time. Be the discipler that God has called you to be. :)

Let us continue to wait “for our blessed Hope, the appearing of the glory of our Great God and Savior Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:13) and also use the time that we have to make a difference on this Earth. 

:)

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They defined “boyband”. <3 

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Hopelessness is an emotion. It's all in the head. You can combat it with the hope that is always there: Jesus Christ. :)

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The more you give yourself to someone, the more you realize your importance. The person you give importance to may never see it but you know that you have self-worth.

Raniel Santos

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You don't lose faith. The reason you feel that your faith is shaking is because you've lost hope.

Me

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Just keep smiling. :)

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"I can say that I have never actually fallen in love with anyone. To fall-in-love means that you are ready to take the responsibilities and the hurts that come along with it and that you are going to love someone despite all their faults."

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When you try your best but you don't succeed.... TRY AGAIN. Oh COLDPLAY. XD

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"I try to be so tough but I'm not that strong enough I can't do this alone God I need You to hold on to me. I try to be good enough but I'm nothing without Your love Savior Please, keep saving me."

 Josh Wilson's Savior Please 

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Elevator Ride

How can I describe the year of school that was? Well, obvious as the title itself: an elevator ride.

I never expected school life in Third Year to be so memorable and fun. Besides the hardships and all, it was overall very meaningful.

I was able to experience such great memories such as my bonding with such awesome friends.

I am the one in the black jacket at the back. :)

This same year was when my self-esteem started to grow as well. I began to love myself and respect myself for who I was. I also became closer to God most importantly.

Yup. That's me dancing. The one in the middle. Haha. I can say I do have a groove for dancing. This was for the Evangelistic Play for our school. I was a 1950's dancer with a group of other guys. I choreographed this with our guidance counselor.

Yup. That's me. Striking a pose after the Christmas Cantata at GCF. I love you Salt.Shakers. This is my Choir Group.

Oh not only that. I lead a revolution. HAHA. A directorship for a school play. It was called Paglayang Minamahal in English: For The Freedom We Love

I love DQ. Dairy Queen. This was candid, I think.. :))) 

Biking around Ortigas. =))) I miss these days. I look so different now. I got thinner.

Will surely miss this year. Third Year English play up there. :)

Thank you God for an awesome year. :)

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Amen.

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What a happy family. :)

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Hi guys. You are the best followers ever, as in EVER. 

God bless you. I love you all. <3 

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They can take away all that you have. But one person remains. God. :)

Me.