thewizardcouncil - Tumblr blog

[thewizardcouncil]

I hope you take in sorcerers because you just got one in there and you can't remove me without the risk of wild surge coming your way.

I would apologize but me hour ago made a decision and so here we are.

We are not generally fond of sorcerers as their magic is typically obtained via birthright, BUT, we reluctantly allow them as they still must practice and learn their own brand of magic.

As far as wild surges go: There is a reason we have all the sorcerers train next to large arraysbof anti-magic field cones.

Last time the power failed on those we ended up with far too many potted plants for staff.

[thewizardcouncil]

Wizard Council,

Following my joining the ranks of wizardry in the 2022 Skeleton War, I would like to file to become a wizard in legality, rather than just practice.

Due to a fae encounter I do not have a name nor any memories beyond a few months ago, but, despite this and being a frog, I assure you I can and do perform magic acquired through scholarship and study.

Ah, they fae. Those rascals.

We tend to find that dealing with the fae is a most effective means of acquiring magical ability.

Your request for wizard status has been approved and forms filed on your behalf.

Due to the fact that the fae have current ownership of your name you have been listed in our records as ||REDACTED||.

We would like to also thank you for your service in the skeleton war.

Good luck with your future study.

Oh and if by chance you happen to be in the market for a name, the council may have a few laying around that we have *ahem*... traded for with our local fae.

[thewizardcouncil]

Hey, got a big package here addressed to a "wizard consel". Just need you to sign here to receive it.

Hold on, this is the wizard council. Not the wizard consel.

Are you sure you're in the right location?

We mean, far be it for us to reject highly suspicious packages asking for our signature that definitely won't lead to us accidentally signing away our souls so that every demon in the known realms has to try and fight Katrina for them once again...

But you know we just want to be sure the mail is going where it's meant to go.

[thewizardcouncil]

i cast spell of too many ants

There were already enough ants! Do you know how many ants there were?

Conservative estimates were at at least 20 quadrillion ants on the prime material plane!

for perspective that's roughly 2 million ants for every human.

The slell 'Too Many Ants' increases the number of ants to be even more excessive!

That means now we will be drowning in a sea of ants. Their predators will no longer be able to quell their numbers!

You would have doomed us all to a world with nothing but ants you fool!

Thankfully via you casting it here someone was able to cast a counter spelll of 'slightly less ants'

The council herby revokes your Wizarding license and condemns you to permanently have picnics in the sea of ants

[thewizardcouncil]

Here's my newest proposal, I've been workshopping it for a while.

Any being under the Wizard Council's jurisdiction can vote on who will become council member. They'd be contacted via dreams, have the option to opt out of voting, and any of them can run. An arcane database compiles the votes, and majority wins. All candidates will give a psionic write-up of their goals. If fraud or threats are unearthed, my mythril hydras will slam whoever did it. Feel free to make any edits that the board requests, while maintaining the spirit of democracy.

Sound good?

The only opposition we have to this plan, is that it is simple majority or first-past-the post.

The council will require no less than a 19 step ranked voting choice with three mandatory runoff votes per new council seat.

[thewizardcouncil]

Salutations, Wizard Council. Mightn't you grant a dragon a magic license?

So long as you are a magic dragon, we see no reason not to grant this request

[thewizardcouncil]

Hello, I am somewhat new to Wizarding but my little magical buggy friends and I are wondering if I can get my Wizarding certification. I have poisonous scorpions with me by the way. In case that changes your answer.

So... strangely per our records, you yourself don't have a record of your wizarding exploits, but your bugs do?

We... aren't 100% sure on how that works. But since the bugs have filed for each individual bug and have listed themselves as in service to you and your wizarding exploits we have no choice but to follow through on that paperwork and provide you a provisional wizarding license until such time that your bugs have throughly trained you in the use of bug magic.

[thewizardcouncil]

hello wizard councel i would very much enjoy a single wizard certification licence please

We are back from Holiday, after careful review of your request we have no evidence of you passing your GWE, please provide your scores in the following categories: Oculomancy Sapiomancy Wand maintenance and repair Charms (magical) Charm (personal) and your scope of wizardly investigations

[thewizardcouncil]

The full list of council members is not readily available and was mentioned in the beginnings of the councils awareness and outreach program, naming a council member, or naming yourself as a council member, or revealing a council members whereabouts may result in the council siphoning your magic from you.

We think it's best to avoid that.

Do you have a roster of the Council Members?

Nope, not at all. The ones I know about are Seroth, Lepriss, and me. Unless you're talking about the entire Council workforce, in which case Djitch, is on that list.

If you want a full roster, @thewizardcouncil probably has one somewhere.

[thewizardcouncil]

The Wizard Council does not assist with personal vendettas or wars. We are a peace keeping organization, and while we have officially categorized ex-council-member Jim as a threat we are not prone to allowing detachments of battle mages to acquire him. The excessive force is... well... excessive. Instead we intend to capture Jim without violence and bring him to justice before the council for his now many broken treatises and council regulations that were broken both on and off the council.

Yes, we do have a standing army of 100,000,000 golems, 130,000 battle mages, 17000 conjured war spirits and 900 necromancers. No we don't see the relevance of that.

[thewizardcouncil]

The ayes have it. Otto will be released On the morning of this All Hallows Eve. He has told the council he has managed to modify his spell that it will only cause the bones to dance. It should prevent any mortals from falling into unintentional and irresistible dancing. Instead it should only animate a large quantity of Skeletons.

The council is seeking all wizards to provide a vote on whether or not the wizard known as Otto should be let out of his prison for the crime of the dancing plague of 1518. Some basic information is presented below.

Otto was not known to be an evil wizard and is believed to have been merely testing a new spell.

However the amount of geases and memory modification that was required the council forced us to intervene.

Otto is due to present his case to the council within the coming month. When asked during the appealing process what he would do with his freedom he responded with "Make some dancing spooky scary skeletons".

All wizards please voice your opinion if Otto should be released.

[thewizardcouncil]

for no reason in particular with absolutely no underlying stress, are vampires legally able to become wizards, presuming they have taken an oath of veganism and learned all their magic through study rather than birthright? and, for even less particular reasonings, if one found themself as a vampire already leading the life of a wizard, could they find themselves taken for any sort of criminal offense as a result? again, this is completely fictional, just an imagined prompt-

Well, there isn't anything in council records objecting to the concept of a vampiric wizard. However when we approached the Vampiric Council to see if they would further discuss the topic they made some deeply disturbing comments about a 'blood tax' for answering questions, and we were already drained from our blood donor day. So in short, the council wouldn't have any legal reason to be concerned with said hypothetical vampire-wizard, though might recommend they move to a demiplane where the sun is less of an issue. Or at least Seattle. Said hypothetical wizard may be in trouble with the vampiric council who hypothetically might consider them a threat to 'the old ways' and have a series of vampires attack

[thewizardcouncil]

I hereby submit my application to join the Wizard Council.

My specialties include conjuration and transmutation of edible materials and small scale manipulation of the curvature of local space-time.

If available I would be interested in a paid position in the Council HQ Cafeteria. I come from a long and proud line of Lunch-Wizards and wish to continue the family legacy.

This council has granted you a seat on the council, but as a result of failing to fill out the prerequisite I-D-10T form, and for exposing a potential risk of violating clause 2.C.(d)-4 of your Council Member magical contract that was to be signed and delivered prior to your announcement of seeking council member status: this council does not grant you the title of council member.

so long as your local space-time curvature obeys the laws of general, special, and magical relativity you may remain on the council advisory board in the position requested.

[thewizardcouncil]

Hello, Council. I have recently been told by a wizard known as Jamison that i cannot be a wizard as i am a woman. I am formally requesting his obliteration, via his forced ingestion of a cringe potion. Regards.

Your request has been reviewed and approved. Wizard is a title available to all those who choose to use it and file the proper paperwork (the paperwork has already been filed on your behalf) so long as they meet the following requirements:

1- Can use Magic

2- Was not born with full magical capabilities and must learn and or develop their magical abilities

3- Is willing to experiment to develop new magic This council fully supports the obliteration of those who place the title of wizard on something as arbitrary as 'gender'.

[thewizardcouncil]

The council is in review of the latest submission of a draft to the effect of permitting individual wizards the ability to submit amended castings of items on the banned spells list to the wizard council for approval.

The heated debate is between this and a different draft of a submission of a form for which a Wizard may cast the banned spell with sufficient council review

I could've sworn that I made this speech to @thewizardcouncil earlier, but I cannot find any archives of it, so here we go again.

I request that the Council implement a system for any caster under it's jurisdiction to request a new variant of a banned spell be unbanned, such as timid/tame ketamine ape. I feel that this would allow for more people to have their voices heard in regards to the banned spell list.

I also retract my request for the banned spell list to vary between dimensions, as it would be simply too impractical.

I, Advisor and Security Designer Hummbirb the Volcanic, thank you for your time.

[thewizardcouncil]

The Wizard Council would like to remind all wizards that they should make efforts to attend a CAUW (council accredited university for wizards).

If an individual did not attend a CAUW then they can take the GWE (General Wizadry Exam) to demonstrate an equivalent magical education.

[thewizardcouncil]

With the assistance of the council's lead security liason and public relations consultant, the wizard council has amended the banned spell list with the following modifiers to each spell. The following spells may be cast upon council review for a period of one standard wizarding cycle:

1-Tamed/Timid Ketamine Ape

2- Instant Dehydration of Vegetation (note that this is only approved for personal use. No using it to start massive droughts and famine again).

3- Consensual Penis Barrage (may be cast without council review)

After a period of one standard wizarding cycle the council will review the aforementioned spell list for any retraction or amendments needed to said spell list.

Happy Casting!

Ahem. My first proposal to @thewizardcouncil is to have the list of banned spells be adjusted according to realm. For example, in my home realm, a ketamine ape barely qualifies as a danger compared to the other animals of our world. Additionally, I feel that the context of the casting should also be taken into account. Using instant dehydration to make a batch of raisins is not the same as using it to kill someone.

Perhaps a system of application for allowed uses of banned spells would work should someone find a good use for them. You should only implement this if you are ready for the flood of applications for unending penis barrage to be used in bed.