thewizardcouncil

[thewizardcouncil]

alright, which one of you trained your familiar to steal cheese?

[thewizardcouncil]

Please stop casting 'Induce Insanity' on various governmental bodies.

We can't handle it anymore

[thewizardcouncil]

Who up pondering their orb

The council detects there are approximately 59,000,000 current users pondering their orb in this reality. Other realities may vary.

Interesting fact about the orbs, if you keep them in 'connect to all magical units' mode adversarial wizards can send an glyphed arcane-pair enchantment to install any further enchantments they wish. The wizard council would of course never do this and that random flashing you've been detecting in the 34rth milliarcsecond hypervoxel from the pole is not related to any subtle hypnotic enchantments you may or may not have detected on your orb.

[thewizardcouncil]

To the Wizard Council,

I hadn't realized you had resumed regular operations. I am a former necromancer and veteran of the Skeleton War, and given the destruction caused by the war, I had assumed it would take longer to return to normal, even if it ended in a stalemate.

the council was temporally shunted from an earlier point in time that preceeded the skeleton war unto to this current timeline, It took a full year to rewrite and and update our regulations. There's probably stuffed we missed and we're saving that for our future selves

[thewizardcouncil]

from: Pondering orb who wishes to be anonymous

I recently got into a small argument with a wizard over said wizard pondering something and getting eye damage,could you please release some guidelines on what is safe to ponder so no more wizards make that mistake?

First when pondering an orb one should first consult the Councils Orb Pondering safety checklist- Is the orb actually an orb? Or is it merely a crystal ball. [Attentping to ponder a crystal ball in lieu of an orb has an unfortunate side effects afflicting the user with the Cassandra Curse.] Confirm all pondering is relevant to the current reality or timeline if intending to take action based upon said pondering, imagining other realities is facsinating but may not be relevant to the current extant reality. Have the viewing glasses or the orb itself been enchanted with the reversal of the view of eldritch horrors and maddening truths of realities, and/or obsession with specific aspects of reality charms? [Perhaps you just want to know the distance to your local star, but are obsessed that the ratios must be equivalent to the ratio between each higher platonic solid] Has the orb itself been enchanted such that is able to contain the pressure to withhold all realities, past and future, the maddening realities of the space within space, the subliminal void and the aberrations of beings unbound and untethered to the fabrics of space-time and the ethereal aether of the spell touched realities? Once all of the above have been performed, it mostly comes down to user preference on how one should ponder their orb. Most council members prefer a comfortable chair with a writing desk or an autoscribe to record their musings, but we know some prefer to ponder on the precipice of the dreamscape and Astral realm upon their sleeping chamber. Just remember, you still have a physical body, the orb may call out to you and demand the psyche of yourself to feed its eternal parasitic hunger with the false promises of satisfaction and communal engagement, but *you* still have to sleep eat drink and use the facilities.

[thewizardcouncil]

Remember, when you create golems or any other automaton fueled by the mystic arts, Article III section 14.3 subsection C of "Non-sentient or partially sentient magical entities of labor" categorizes them as 'employees' not as a machine or equipment.

As such they are automatically entitled to the following benefits:

Maintenance and repair for any material considered to be part of the necessary hull/structure of said automaton within 1 week of occurrence of damage while in the duty performing work

1 free mystic upgrade to the semi-intelligent operating aether system per year

Lubrication of joints or material to perform lubrication themselves twice per week minimum.

Free inspection after 10,000 operational cycles

1 free download of 'Rights and regulations of automatons' latest version per year

[thewizardcouncil]

Remember- when you're desperately trying to avoid the creeping void, don't! Invite it in and then use it as a component for your spatial spell casting.

Results may vary

[thewizardcouncil]

We are not saying we aren't capable of ending this and all other realities by literally burying it in an actual mountain of paperwork, we're just saying we *wouldn't* end this and all other realities by burying it in a literal mountain of paperwork.

... besides it would be easier to just melt them all into a singular reality and then cast maximize entropy.

Again, we *wouldn't* do that though.

[thewizardcouncil]

When scrying dark visions of the future please remember to keep them in their own reality.

Appollo is quickly running out of dodgeballs and the council can not conjure them at the necessary rate to supply the apparent demand.

[thewizardcouncil]

I already told wizardvanhq that I'm joining the wizards in the skeleton war, but is there any paperwork here I need to make it official?

We're probably quite late on this what with the temporal shunt we experienced.

There was a form for a skeletal requisition, animation, and army recruitment request.

*blows dust off old file*

looks like one of your skeletal generals managed to fill it out on your behalf.

Though we're not sure why the left one of their pinky finger bones behind with the note 'payment'

[thewizardcouncil]

as i have multiple people out for my head for... various reasons i am submitting this question anonymously, is it possible to say, cast a spell of animate skeleton on a skeleton that is still inside of a body? purely hypothetically of course as i would never want this to happen to anyone even if they were currently trying to kill me

we call this 'dominate person the extreme version'. It's not currently banned, bit is extremely frowned upon.

The general problem is the bones and skin start moving in a different frequency from one another, and then it stops being a control mechanism and starts being more of a attack spell.

[thewizardcouncil]

is there some way to join the wizard council? i would like to enact change in my community

You can either join a small local council and overtake the previous one whilst you siphon their magical energies for your own nefarious purposes, which we would never do, or submit an application form HBW991-AZ-F-9J to the nearest interdimensional rift.

We find it's much easier to enact change in the community with others and by direct action though

[thewizardcouncil]

Does evil and unethical experiments on your lawn!’!!

Yours sincerely,

the mad scientist council

eh, just let us have some of your 'coffee'

[thewizardcouncil]

Hello! A fellow spellcaster and I were going through some old spellbooks and discovered "Summon Blunt". We werent to sure about the legality of this spell but are very interested In the uhhh... medicinal capabilities of such a spell..

The council fully supports both medicinal and 'medicinal' research, please cast in a safe environment, and with a healthy runic support system. We're still arguing with some of the older wizards who for some reason want to ban the spell, but don't want to enforce it, that that is really stupid.

[thewizardcouncil]

Jerard the Familiar Giraffe lives!

The council was concerned that Jirard, the councils familiar giraffe and mascot might have been in danger since the members of the council were transported to this time.

Another council member has informed us that the energy from our souls that would have been extant during that time were used retroactively to protect Jirard.

Worth it.

[thewizardcouncil]

Can i become a wizard?

with sufficient study and gumption anyone can become a wizard, just remember to fill out the request to be a wizard form and it will find us here in the city of towers. We encourage thorough research on any magical or mundane topic that interests you enough to commit your mind body and soul to it...

Aaaand that has nothing to do with how the council harvests souls and skeletons from exhausted husks of ancient wizards who lost themselves to dark magic that the council keeps a hold of to prevent others from attaining the same level of power hurting themselves.

Completely unrelated.... look at these neat bones though!

[thewizardcouncil]

please pay no attention to the small homunculi following all wizards about. They're just there to help you with your Wizarding research and definitely aren't reporting any violations they see to the council.

We would never unknowingly observe your every movement in such a fashion.