#wizardpost

[nick-nonya]

[my-friend-jade]

[buff-wizard]

Fungus Wizard

[gelatinoussorceress]

The best thing about being both a slime and a wizard is that whenever I get sent to jail for "meddling with dark forces" or a backfired spell destroys the local crop harvest, I just slip through the bars and return to my lair.

[great-wizard-of-the-cosmic-sea]

Honestly new wizards don't know how it was like back in the day. They complain about spells taking too long to craft, yet they don't know how lucky they are to not have to deal with time rifts. I don't think they comprehend how PAINFUL it is. You get ONE stupid word wrong, and suddenly your soul is stretching and splitting accross another universe!!

There is no pain worse than this, and JUST when you're getting over it, you get massive headaches showing you hour long visions of the other universe, and you have to live in TWO universes at ONCE and it fucks you up so badly man.

You could be studying in one world and then fall off a cliff in the other, it's HORRIBLE.

Do you know how AWKWARD it is to be speaking to someone, talking about how you used to not quite romantically ride horses together, but they just answer "who the fuck are you?? Get away from me!!" because, in this reality, you've never even met.

But I remember, joey. I remember the long nights together. I remember gazing at the stars together, joey. I remember what it was like to ride our horse in the dusk. I remember the war. I remember being at your side, joey!

But you don't. Because it never happened for this version of you.

Actually, yeah. There is something more painful than being split accross another universe... :(

[thaparasite]

so im moving towers right

and i was getting my trinkets and gazijsmos out the bed chest and i just found a purse with teeth inside

tooth fairy, babe, i think you left some brat's chewing instruments in my house

[the-frog-wizard-fe]

If any magic user needs a place to stay my cave on wizard island island is always open

[whimsical-wizard]

throw me in the cranberry bog and let Ocean Spray make slutty juices out of my body so i may transmorgify back to the mortal plane into the bodies of wizards who enjoy a good drink.

[dd-the-man-without-fear]

[hygieiapides-the-vulgar]

What apprentices think “adult magic” is.

Summon Skimpy Clothing

Create Lube

Instant Orgasm

Greater Create Fetish

What real “adult magic” is.

Summon Blanket

Remove Oil Stain

Wash Dishes

Awaken On Time

[schermit]

I would love to teach u barbecue based wizard spells but only know Summon Hyperactive Golden Retreiver 😞

Oh lord knows I have enough of that with our own 6 month old puppy. Sometimes I wish I knew a spell of Perpetual Slumber for that little gremlin. He has a Buff of Greater Haste on at all times. I should find out how to borrow mana from his ass.

[buff-wizard]

Bathtime Wizard

[nick-nonya]

it should really not need to be said but i'll say it anyways:

evil shadow energy blast

[great-wizard-of-the-cosmic-sea]

The snail photograph didn't survive, but the picture is great so it's ok