thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

Writing and the frustration of getting Zero reads

Hey, void! Tis me again, Star. So I was writing this book for a while, I wrote like four chapters and then hit this point where I was like, nobody’s reading this and frankly I kind of don't know where this is going and the plot seems stupid to me. I also was being assigned books to read (which I hate by the way) by my dad and it took all my time up and left me with Zero drive to write. I’d been writing consistently until he implemented that, and frankly I blame him for my not writing anymore over the summer. I was doing fine until he shit all over it yet again ruining something I enjoyed wow thanks parents are so great right. Anyway, I left this book alone for a while on a few different sites, and today I just thought, hey, maybe I should check up on it even if I haven't been writing much. So I popped over to inkitt to check my analytics and apparently I've been getting 30+reads? I don't know how or why? That story kinda sucked? Ya but anyway I feel like I should continue writing just to get that small amount of exposure but I no longer have that drive to be writing. I want to talk to my dad and maybe get him to not hinder my writing with his stupidity? Like half the books I've read, while good books, have not helped me at all and have only made me dislike reading, which I used to love. Now I can't look at a book without intense dislike for it. I hate it and I hate him, not even for taking away something I really enjoyed, though that doesn't help, but for not being willing to at least hear me out on it. I tried to talk to him before and he just immeditely shut me down and made me go clean my room. Basically why I never talk to him, it always ends with me doing chores or being told to shut up either literally or through actions or other choice words. Anyway, I want to write, I really do, but I can't. I just feel so crushed by these stupid books, they take up all my energy and time with no payoff except being able to mention reading it to someone old and stuffy at school and being held in high regard for all of five seconds before they realize I'm a teenager and I therefor have no rights and deserve zero respect but must respect and obey everyone older than me.

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

He nom

GIVE ME

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

a nightlight that you can't turn off... greeeeaaaat

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

What the hell did I just watch? 

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

Blocked

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

I’ve been planning this years costume literally since before last Halloween and I'm still not sure what I'm gonna be I have like five very detailed options yet I don't like any of them enough HALP

:/

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

I want to live near somewhere like this. Or at least within driving distance of it. I’ve always loved nature but I’m kinda trapped since I’m a minor.

Summer in the mountains can be so beautiful.

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

This is such a big mood. 

literally my fav video ever

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

About me; The Superficial stuff

For today’s blog post, I’ll be telling you all the superficial shit about me. Like what I like and my aesthetic, all that stupid shit. No sob story or back story shit today. I’ll be saving that one for when I have enough followers that whoever I mention can’t get mad at me without a mass of followers descending on them in a protective rage thanks. Anyway here’s the topical Starling;

I love exercising. I know it sounds stupid but the gym has always been a safe place for me, particularly the punching bag and swimming pool. Now don’t get a muscly gal in your head as me, nope. I’m lean, sure, and you could probably tell I exercise if you were well versed in that kind of stuff, but overall I’m not muscular. Just fit. I also run a lot so the muscles that I do have are more from running, soccer and kickball and that kind of stuff lol. 

Relating to the last one, I love water. I can’t get enough of the ocean even if it kinda sucks in New York. My dream is to vacation or live in a spot where there’s clear water and/or huge waves cause I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf. I can also hold my breath underwater for a pretty long time compared to other people. When I’m doing laps I do them almost exclusively underwater. I can swim across the entire pool in one breath and I’m fairly fast. Not an olympic swimmer or even competitive by any means, but I can get around.

I love animals. If an animals I hurt in a movie I will legit sob my ass off but if a human is about to die I’m like YA LETS GO. Animals also tend to like me more than the average bear. A lot of people are surprised cause I can get close to wild animals and I’ve never gotten hurt. My friends are always spooked when their pet who usually doesn’t like strangers comes over and snuggles with me. I guess I have a calming spirit or something? I don’t know. Anyway, ya. I like the fluffers and the fluffers like me. 

My favorite colors are pastel yellow, Burgundy and maroon. Mint/pastel green is also a favorite. 

I love food, but not junk food really. I mean don’t get me wrong I like some of it but generally I go for fruits and meats (wink wonk).

I’m extremely social and I'm pretty outgoing but a little oblivious. I also don’t do any drugs so I’m not ‘popular’ in that sense but everyone knows who I am and most people like me. I have friends in pretty much every grade including some elementary and middle schoolers just cause I help out at day camp and I work with kids sometimes. 

I actually really love children and babies and I know its stupid cause a lot of teenagers hate kids but I can’t help it they’re so cute! They also do tend to like me which gets them brownie points. 

I’m super liberal. Like I'm faaaar left. Not stupid far, like I know there are certain things that take time to change and I’m not gonna force my ‘lifestyle’ on anyone, but in terms of what I personally think in terms of rights and all that I'm definitely liberal. I’ve gone on a few marches but other than that I’m not screaming at people or anything. I just have my own personal beliefs and don’t think someone else should force theirs on mine.

Live your best life, don’t force someone else to.

I have dark brown hair. Some people say it’s black but it really isn’t. I dyed it black once to prove that point and it definitely was darker so eat shit Elena. I have multicolored light eyes. They’re mainly blue and green with yellow/orange specs and a grey ring at the edge. Different people see them as different colors. I personally wish they looked lighter but I do love that they fuck with peoples heads. I have light skin and a light dusting of freckles. I’m also mixed, so I look a little weird but ya know that’s alright. I look pretty caucasian because of my skin tone if you want to try and imagine what I look like. I have a more asian face shape and my eyes are big but almond shaped. I have super soft straight but poofy hair that some of my hispanic friends have said probably comes partially from my Mexican roots. I’m white, Chinese and Mexican with a few other things mixed in but that’s the main stuff.

I’m a musician and author. I play guitar, piano, bass guitar and I sing. I count singing not only because I love it but because I actually have classical training. I write mostly fantasy, but I've dipped my toes in scifi and I'd like to try mystery in the future. I love to read romances (go figure) and I sometimes include that in my writing. 

I’m a blogger, duh. 

Anyway, that’s all folks, Starling out.

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

Book Review- Altered Carbon

Altered Carbon is a book written by Richard Morgan and released in 2002. It’s a scifi book set in a world in which everyone has their consciousnesses downloaded onto ‘stacks’ which can be swapped between bodies, or ‘sleeves’. The main character, Takeshi Kovacs, has been in storage for one crime or another and he’s pulled out to assist a wealthy 300 year old man who promises him money and early release in turn for solving his murder. 

I will preface the rest of the review with the disclaimer that I did watch the TV series first before reading the book. However that usually doesn’t affect my opinion on it too much. In most cases I prefer the book by the end of it all. Unfortunately for the book, Altered Carbon was one of if not the only acceptation to this rule. I didn’t enjoy the book very much and honestly felt like it didn’t really live up to the hype. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good read and the world building done by Richard Morgan is amazing. The detail is astonishing and the prose is alright. I just didn’t connect with Takeshi or the other characters. Granted, I’ve never been particularly into the mystery genre. Though I've read mysteries I liked a lot so maybe I'm just trying to be nice. Anyway I kind of felt like the author spent so much time on world building and the mystery that they kind of neglected the character development. As a writer myself I value character development above all. Some of the shittiest unrealistic books ever I’ve been too addicted to to stop reading because I was too invested in the characters. If I hadn’t had the book as an assigned book I probably would have dropped it a few chapters in. I also didn’t love the writing style, but that’s just my own preferences. I will also say that in the TV series there were subplots that made the character more relatable. In the book Takeshi was very devil may care, which is good if used in the right doses and in the right way. In the TV show this was pretty well done. He had moments where he was soft and relatable. In the book he basically just a rigid self serving ass the entire time. That’s hard to relate to even if you are an asshole. Overall I’d probably only recommend this book to people who are super desperate for some more Altered Carbon after reading the Netflix show. Since the new season isn’t out yet this might help quench your thirst for the scifi element. Not for any of the action though. A lot of the really cool fight scenes are either done in a way thats hard to read or just not there. The TV show also added in certain characters that I really loved so beware. Lower your expectations people. Wow this review took a very negative turn. Anyway, Richard Morgan can probably take the hit. He’s a rich bastard now anyway. 

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

Me every morning 

Catwoman #1 by Joelle Jones & Laura Allred

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

Ya, she looks like a nice pediatrician, but he’s the president of the international genetics federation. 🏥🔬📚💡

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

July Playlist- Aphrodisiac for the Ears

1. Like that by Rytmeklubben

I love this song and it’s actually where the entire feel of this playlist comes from. All of it is pretty chill but if you were to dance with it it would definitely not be chill at all. It had this nice provocative or alluring feel that presses all the right buttons. I heard it pretty much within the first month of it being released, sometime last year or the year before and I've loved it since.

2. Out Loud by Brooke Aulani

This song is has an unusual progression of chords that I actually didn’t expect when I first heard it, and at first I wasn’t sure how to feel but when the chorus hit I knew- I loved it. Her voice is beautiful and the production on the song is great. It has a sort of hypnotic feel to it and I love it. It’s less seductive than the last song, but it definitely fits within the theme.

3. You That I Want- Divine

This song is actually a remix/sampling of an older song, but it’s done extremely well and its pretty hard to notice to be honest. I didn’t even realize until a few listens in. This remix is again, pretty hypnotic, but it has these moments where the audio cleans up really quick and then melts again and it’s super effective. 

4. Bet you wish

I’ve been addicted to this song for years and frankly thats all you need to know dude.

5. Thief by Ansel Elgort

Yes the actor. He has an amazing voice and honestly I didn't think he was hot before but after hearing him sing I was so ready to fucking jump him I'm not even joking. Major singers crush and crush crush on him.

I’ll be doing monthly playlists for those of you who want music recommendations.

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

unknown artist: YOU ALREADY NO WHO IT IS

me: 

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

AAAAAAAAAA BOTH OF THOSE ARE SO SAD. 

(x)

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

Intro- My bottle tastes like regret and Shirley Temple.

Hey there Tumblr. Starling here, with a shitty blog post -cough cough- shit sorry I kinda breathed in some water a minute ago and I think I might die but that’s okay cause YOLO MY DUDES. So many caps in so little time. Welp, at least I'm giving you realistic expectations. Anyway, on to the important stuff. Enough of me choking on my own stupidity at 12AM.

Speaking of stupidity, here’s the fuckin agenda here on my blog for you suckers who haven’t figured it out yet:

1. Curse. Only slightly joking with this one. Screw you and your societal restrictions not on my lawn ya fuckers.

2. I really give literally zero shits about what’s socially acceptable. Piss off if you have a problem with that I'm sure the nun blogs would love you.

3. Sex and sexuality along with other taboo shit. Now I'm gonna be real here for a second. A few of you might know me in real life. That’s where this is gonna start to get weird, though not that weird considering you, well, you know me in real life. I’ve probably said half these things if not all of them before. If you don't know me? Well... brace thyself.

4. Animals. I love that shit yes gimme gimme.

5. Venting. I’m young, I have a lot to be angry about. Though I'm pretty sure that won’t change much as I age. I’ll always be an asshole.

Ok, now that we’ve got that out of the way, on to the second part of the title. I’ve been drinking from the same bottle all day, trying to be eco friendly and all that, right? Well this bottle was originally ginger ale, and then with a little bit of grenadine and cherry it turned into a Shirley temple. Now, I got through the entire fucking day. Zero mishaps. Zero choking on anything -yes, even dick, regretably- And low and behold in the wee hours of the (almost) morning I fucking choked on the water. I got thirsty and decided to have some nice refreshing H2O and apparently my refreshment wasn’t quite getting the whole chill part of the memo and sent me a nice big fuck you. The water, or Shirley Temple flavored water, to be exact, jumped down my throat and right past the correct pipe for water to be going through. For a second there as my abysmal and frankly short life flashed before my eyes the only words I could piece together were along the lines of ‘mmmm tastes like cherry’. If that had been my last thought, well, honestly I wouldn’t be too angry, but that’s mainly cause either I'd have more important things to be fussing over- namely the afterlife, or I wouldn’t be there to worry about it. In short, I have about as many regrets as Antartica has icebergs. As in, the hotter I get the less I have but apparently those regrets were just harboring little mini regrets and now it’s flooding the entire fucking planet and I'm sort of just sitting there watching my own shit wreck everything around me. Ya. In case you’re about to pick up the phone and dial in the number of the nearest psych ward, heres some context for ya. This entry is coming at a time where I got like four hours of sleep and I'm about to get somewhere between two and zero. So.... Ya. I would say I love you, but nobody except like Linus and maybe Ana and Felix are reading this.

To Linus: Thanks for the follow dude, make sure to hide a few wet gummy worms on your teachers seat this coming school year this ad has been sponsored by Star. (chaotic good since undisclosed date)

Felix: Say hi to Linus’ birb for me. 

Ana: I do actually love you and I hope the world does you good cause it’s done me dirty basically my entire life. Yeet all the bad thots off a cliff for me. <3

P.S. Here’s my posting schedule:

Every satyrday (petition for that coming soon) Wednesday and Friday at 3am EST because I'm chaotic neutral.

[thisclosetochuggingclorox-blog]

No wait but then who would run the modeling industry

all pedophiles should die and theres literally no downside to them all dropping dead