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I love you PBS I love you NPR I love you public libraries I love you wikipedia I love you project gutenberg I love you librivox I love you libby I love you hoopla I love you openlibrary I love you internet archive I love you resources that make information free and accessible to the public

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note to self: sometimes you have to let people be wrong about you, because they will refuse to see you any other way

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commission!!

Young Elliott

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― Elena Ferrante, The Story of the Lost Child

[text ID: To write, you have to want something to survive you.]

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[A white fortune cookie paper with black text reading: Your fondest dream will come true within this year.]

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who up running after something that they'll never kill??

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SMILEY MIKEY SINGING ALONG TO VAMPIRES 😭

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i remember getting so depressed at myself as a kid when i got so tired alone from singing the first verse of disenchanted i refused to ever sing a mcr song again lol turns out i just needed time and a better head voice

like bro im so happy i think i reached self-actualization

the mcr seattle concert revived my love for mcr so much i sang drowning lessons in karaoke and still in awe i actually pulled it off

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the mcr seattle concert revived my love for mcr so much i sang drowning lessons in karaoke and still in awe i actually pulled it off

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you are uncool because you lack discipline and that lack of discipline contributes to your lack of personal identity. you can't commit to anything you love, you lack devotion.

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I made this back when I was a teen :) Reblogging because I just saw MCR on Friday!!

8.27.17//11:44 //Today’s bujo spread + handwriting tag I’ve been putting off forever… I gotta finish the content in my health online class but there’s a lot to do haha

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♡ 20250711

I went to see the MCR concert in Seattle, and I am completely floored. My jaw dropped and smashed to the ground. I am so honored to see them in my lifetime, and this performance? The members were all locked-in. They were ready for this first show. I can see it in Gerard's acting, their smiles here and there, and how much ENERGY they put into the music. I am satisfied, but I have also regressed back to my teenage years, and I think I will act like my 10th grade self for the the next few months. Slammed me right back into obsession with MCR. Right back into looking through Kerrang magazines. Changing my whole tumblr theme to Mikey Way. Drawing the band members over and over again in my journals. My username is literally... you know... you know I made this blog back in the day... during that time.

T-Mobile Park was FILLED. I have never seen that many people in one area in my entire LIFE. I also have never been to T-Mobile Park. I remember going to the venue in my black ensemble and burning when they moved the ceiling off. Thankfully, I could shield myself with the voting cards they gave us.

I'm gonna gush about the concert below, so if y'all will be watching them in later dates, warning there are spoilers:

Ugh, I need to yap because I don't want to bother my friends.

They played through the entire Black Parade album along with what I suppose is a rewritten version of the original narrative. The original being a cancer patient coming to terms with their death. Correct me if I'm wrong. From what I understand watching this part of the show, the band members represent "the black parade" playing for the dictator. Gerard serves as a host of some sorts, given that he narrates the voting that takes place and the executions that come thereafter. There are some elements of resistance that start to unravel, and it felt very atmospheric with the sky darkening (I think around Teenagers, which is very fitting as a turning point, given it is slightly more "upbeat" and the commercials that are played on the big screens at that time). By the time they get to Disenchanted, it becomes clear to me that the band has become disenchanted with the workings of the government and what they're forced to do. It's really interesting to me because I love Disenchanted, and I am so used to the interpretation in regards to the patient character in the past. It is really cool how that song was used for this new storyline instead. I'm a mess...

Oh yeah... Famous Last Words... with Gerard singing "I am not afraid to keep on living" all the way to his stabbing by the clown/jester character... I think I died too lol. That's another song that I associate with the original story very closely, but it's amazing how they used that song as the final struggle against the dictator instead. Given the context of the new story, it was definitely very harrowing as it ended with the dead deer and the haunting intermission with the cello player. Thank god they got to unwind with us with the last half playing more of their other songs like "I'm Not Okay" and "Na Na Na." I think if they didn't I would have had never been okay ever. It was hilarious seeing the band members getting dragged away though. I remember Frank waved his hands and then accepted his fate lol Ray stayed committed, and seeing him being the one to follow through reminds me of those Vampire Money intros (where he's the only one to yell HAHA). Mikey gives the soldier his guitar before running, and that is so funny. They're a hilarious loooooooooooooooool.

And hey!! In the later half, two songs from Bullets!! I love those two songs. I cannot believe they actually played those live. Kudos to Ray cause holy crap. What a good guitar player????? He is so good live. He never disappoints. Seeing them out of character and smiling felt great too because I needed that haha.

I don't think I'll ever forget about this show! I'll talk about year after year nonstop. I love MCR. I love the Michael Romance. I love Gee, Fonk, Rey, and Moiks. Long live the black parade!!

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i got a medical school interview! i am so happy!!

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20250622

I went out with my mom to get some good matcha/hojicha together, and they did not disappoint! An update on my medical school application: almost done with a rough draft of all my secondaries. I need to get them done, so I can push them all out to my mentors and editors by probably Wednesday next week. I'm sure July 1st will be the day when they shoot me all the portals in the face. I have to be especially prepared or else I'm screwed! Lord have mercy on my soul and almost 60 secondaries. I was not built on this earth to write so many dang essays

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that one family member when happy: medical schools don't even want you! your classmates are already close to graduation, and you cannot even get in!! you are nothing!

that one family member when angry: why are you working two jobs! i'm gonna make you pay your sibling's tuition!

me: *meditating* i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win-

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20250610

♡ I am writing a total of yes, 60 secondaries. I will not take the MCAT again, so I'm doing everything I can to prevent that reality from happening. In meantime, I've been constantly working as a medical assistant, playing piano, and writing essays. Rinse and repeat. I'm still journaling, but I will need the time June and July to crank out all of these responses in time for submission. The weather is so nice. It is a vibe to write essays outside, I must say!

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that one family member when happy: medical schools don't even want you! your classmates are already close to graduation, and you cannot even get in!! you are nothing!

that one family member when angry: why are you working two jobs! i'm gonna make you pay your sibling's tuition!

me: *meditating* i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win. i will not let my opps win-