threesmallcrows

[threesmallcrows]

A wish bounced off the moon and broke up on reentry, blanketing the southwestern USA in shards of high velocity desire.

[threesmallcrows]

high message, sorry :

Tldr have a splendid day /night please, you bring much joy with your art <3 33

but there are fics that I re read because the plot is fun or they bring up interesting images or ideas.. and then there's ones like yours that I reread bcause they truly envelop me an ground me in a fictional place and in the mind of a character, and remind me how to think more richly and creatively. thank you for that

I am also of course going to leave you with annoying questions such as: how irreverent do you think mattmello genuinely are despite their chronic 'tudes.... do they 24/7 assume the worst of people. do they have any capacity to idolize. do they #respectwomen. always fun seeing different writers interpretation of this specific part of them

first of all <3 thank you, second of all you have brought up a Big question which i have Medium-to-Largish thoughts about, which i have crammed below the closet door of this cut..

fundamentally i think of mello as being a (jaded) optimist and matt a die-hard pessimist. i also view both of them as being fairly self-involved in their motivations - even despite what they themselves would say. the TLDR of this is they both hate babies (yikes) but have been redeemed <3 and made whole <3 by love

Mello: i think mello himself would say he believes in concepts like justice and progress, and in a world that can be bettered. i do NOT think this makes him more pro-social on a person-to-person level than matt. like he believes in Heaven but also in Hell.. i think i wrote in one of my fics that matt doesn't like to think about what would've happened if mello had got hold of the first death note instead of light, and i 100% stand by that. he's the more dangerous of the two precisely because he has hope for the world and thinks it can be shaped and changed.

despite mello viewing himself as being motivated by righteousness and maybe the tenets of his religious upbringing, i think what really motivates him is a desire to redeem himself through ""good"" acts. he views himself as fundamentally flawed and inferior (hmm... pt. 2 of this coming below...) god is giving him the stink-eye 24/7 and he has to wash his hands constantly. have a six-pack and wear the heels and Accomplish. do you get me??

Matt: i really do think matt thinks the world's going to hell in a handbasket. this is someone who's been chronically depressed since his early teens and suffers a life-long abandonment from his mom leaving him when he was like 7. mello believes in Heaven and matt believes in the worms, etc. i even see matt flirting with ecofascist thoughts in his edgelord teenage years, i.e. the planet would be better off if half of people got Thanos-snapped. but like, matt wants to be in the half that gets snapped!! like if you asked him if humanity is evil he'd say "yeah we're evil and we suck :)" and mostly mean "I'm evil and I suck :(".

(aside: i have an unused headcanon that matt likes to research global warming when he's in the middle of a depression spiral, basically as a kind of self-harm goad, even though he tells himself it's because he being, like, "realist" and INTP or whatever.. he just wants to hear that the world would be better off without him in it. which is too bad for him, because he's married to mello :))

which brings me to the big cheese... The Redemptive Power of Love. i just think they are so so self-involved and spirally and down in the dumps about themselves, and then this other guy just shows up and pulls them out of it like a fishhook, and it actually makes them better people. you love this one human - now do 8 billion more :) mello's love for matt grounds his somewhat abstract and high-handed ideas, matt's love for mello pulls him back from the brink of his darker unabomber-type thoughts. another way to put it is they've both gone through this exact thought process at some point: 1. wow, guy x is fucking annoying, i should kill him. 2, but [matt/mello] is fucking annoying sometimes and i wouldn't want him to be killed :( 3. ok, i guess guy lives.

they are the moons reflecting the affection and light and mercy of their lovers and they are the suns shining in the dark!!

to wrap things up:

they 23/7 assume the worst of people

they do have the capacity to idolize (each other)

mello #respectssmartwomen and in addition matt #respectshotwomen and esp. #dommes

“Yeah,” Matt said again, “we’re not bad people.” Mello opened his mouth and shut it again, struck speechless. God spoke in the voice of his beloved.

[threesmallcrows]

hey you. oh not much just remember i love you <3

[threesmallcrows]

mattmello nation go read Good Men Die Too by midievil immediately!!

[threesmallcrows]

apparently the rest of us are also not good people because (i speak for all of us when i say) everything sitting in the flophouse drafts is looking super appetizing… had me at mentions of jeangst

and i am always happy to cook.... but seeing the ideas written out like that really brought home the sid from toy story quality. doing evil play with my fucked-up toys..

[threesmallcrows]

i should write fan fiction for the seminal shounen manga death note once again

i should write fan fiction for the seminal shounen manga death note once again

[threesmallcrows]

writers can we agree it's scary to write someone who has a specific Occupation, Industry, Job or Trade.

[threesmallcrows]

current... not wips but like rent-dodging squatters in my flophouse mind "palace":

Headfirst (eviction proceedings underway)

matthew jeevas ft. 40% fewer fingers (matt gets tortured fic)

Jean Vicquemare's 10-day depression adventures (working title: "Easy Jazz For Relaxation")

secret omega 💀 max verstappen 💀💀 ft. jos-mandated minimally (non) consenting surgery during karting era: or, The CPTSD Chronicles

The True Ending (DN. never ever getting written)

[threesmallcrows]

between #mytinnitus #mymigraine and #mybackpain, all i can do is scroll #mytumbler and wait for #thereleaseofsleep

[threesmallcrows]

Are You Drawing The Tiger Or The Stripes? Gallus Rostromegalus Digital 2025

[threesmallcrows]

ocean.com/fish

[threesmallcrows]

Happy "The Bear Season 4" to all those who celebrate 🐻🐻🐻

[threesmallcrows]

suddenly realized that kids these days probably aren't concealing their fic in misleadingly named folders anymore.. bc it's all google drive this and notes app that, password protected, etc. back in my day we were saving that self-insert mary sue fic straight onto the family PC in front of god and country

[threesmallcrows]

pt 2..

On the fifth day of fever, Matt waved him forward and then seized Mello's right hand in his left, holding tightly onto him with all his remaining fingers.

"I want you to have my sweater," he said.

"To wear?" Mello said, trying to build a joke out of driftwood and sand. "Your shit doesn't fit."

"To keep." Matt's solemn voice blew the joke down like the tide. "You can shrink it. In the dryer."

"I don't want your sweater."

"You can have any of my clothes."

"You're going to need those, Matt. Hey." His eyelids fell shut and Mello fought the urge to pry them back up. "Listen to me."

His tongue crept weakly around the corner of his lip. "I have a crypto wallet."

"I don't want your—I don't need your fucking money. Okay."

"I bought Bitcoin at two thou."

"Congratulations," said Mello, frantic.

again tempted to write a fic where matt gets tortured due to mob nonsense and mello has to take care of him.. more thots below the cut....

"You wish I had died," Matt said to him mildly, on a sunny afternoon.

"Obviously not."

"You keep guns in the house."

"I have to have guns to protect us. They're in a safe."

"I know the combination."

"I changed it."

"You didn't," Matt insisted, although Mello had, a long time back. "I can pick locks. I could open that anytime." Mello got up from the table then, but Matt just followed him into the next room. "There're bullets in the nightstand drawer," he continued, "you want me to die."

Mello felt squeezed tightly by Matt's hatred, which expanded to fill any room he stood in, like fire, ate up the drywall and all the spare air.

He looked at the space where his left middle finger had been. I wanted you to live more than anyone has wanted anything. But what came out instead was: "Can you really pick the lock?"

"I can't do anything anymore, they cut my hands off," Matt said flatly. His eyes were holes in his head. "I want my medicine."

[threesmallcrows]

💀.

[threesmallcrows]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[threesmallcrows]

by age 40 every warlord should have

4-5 trusted generals

a kind of useless emperor to be nominally loyal to

obsessively devoted relationship with an advisor

at least one strategically useful territory you repeatedly lose and recapture and at this point it just feels like a personal vendetta and everyone is begging you to cut your losses and move on but how could you move on from something you’ve pumped so much of your own blood into?

ominous relative