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I LOVE creative systems, like the ones that go by cool system names and call their parts/alters other things. I LOVE creativity!!

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guess who's back. back again

this time, we're *employed*

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chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

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the lady who was going to interview us didn't come into work today and told nobody helppppp we have to reschedule

got told, "hey, you're on hosting duty now!". out of nowhere. and now i'm here. zero guidance. uhoh

i havent been on hosting duty since we were, like, 12. we have a job interview today. this will surely end well!

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"OK" SO IT SEEMS AS THOUGH MY GENETICALLY MODIFIED KILLER BEETLES HAVE ESCAPED. HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FUCKI🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲OH G🪲OD🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲 SHI🪲🪲T🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🧪AAAHHHHHHHHOOOHhh Hey. That One Learned thge basics of Chemistry . #Proud

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got told, "hey, you're on hosting duty now!". out of nowhere. and now i'm here. zero guidance. uhoh

i havent been on hosting duty since we were, like, 12. we have a job interview today. this will surely end well!

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Non distinct switching is strange. We don't switch often. But when we do, half the time it's not noticed instantly and there'll be a moment when it's like "Hey wait a minute, I'm not the other guy!"

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right. so. you're telling me the entire debacle with our mother last night was just because she couldn't swallow her pride enough to ask, "hey, can you please give me some money to pay the bills?".

all of that. our entire breakdown. the belittling. the insults. the threats. all of that.

because she didn't want to ask for help directly.

we have told her multiple times, "hey, [i'm] slow to pick up on when you want [me] to do stuff. can you please tell [me] directly? or write a list, so [i] won't forget?"

we've even done so in the presence of a doctor. she agreed to do it only then; was it just for show, in front of the doctor? she's always so much better to us when there's someone around.

i don't get it; we've been patient with her. it's been years of asking for something that really isn't that outlandish. it would make both of our lives easier! i don't get it!

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*I open the Simply Plural and I suddenly forget everything about the system and also lose every ounce of creativity and organisation skills*

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people with DID are your neighbors. people with DID are your friends. people with DID are your family. people with DID are your students, your teachers, your nurses, your postal workers, your grocery clerks, your bankers, your tax people, your local government employees.

people with DID are everywhere, leading what look like normal and functional lives. often times they are normal and functional lives, the way they maintain them is just different than those without DID.

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"Saw traps for people with moral OCD" is a phrase that has embedded myself into my brain because, well, Saw traps for people with moral OCD are everywhere.

Stuff that basically amounts to...

"You have to listen to my opinions on [issue], or else you don't care about [issue]. (Constantly talks about how people like you are the absolute worst.)"

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me tear you down over things you can't control or you're a bad person."

Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me vent to you whenever and however I want or else you're a bad person."

"If you enjoy X media/trope, you just hate Y people."

"Everyone knows that X thing is harmful/hateful; if you engaged in it, it's just because you were fine with perpetuating hate/harm."

"You should have just known better/should know this already!"

This thread over here talks about the inherent issues of putting this kind of stuff out there. The TL;DR is that it really only works on people who are mentally unwell and have poor boundaries, while just pissing off everyone else. It really doesn't matter if you're technically correct; you're still attacking people, and that means they're not wrong to block you.

I think that many of these Saw traps are created when people effectively write posts directed toward people who don't want to help, rather than the ones who do. Like, if you catch yourself writing an angry, shame-laden post, ask yourself: who are you writing it for and what are the odds you're going to change their minds? If your mental image is some smug fuck or angry reactionary, you're writing for the wrong person. Write for the person who's curious, who's willing to learn.

Also? Work on figuring out how to transmute negative feelings into positive, encouraging rhetoric. EG:

"Why is there no X positivity?" -> "Let's hear it for X!"

"No one cares about Y problem!" -> "Hey, we need more recognition of Y problem" or "I haven't seen many people talking about Y problem, so here's some info on what's up."

"If you don't reblog this, you don't care about [group]" -> "Please reblog this, it would mean a lot for us [group]."

And if you're really super duper frustrated and want to vent with a lot of nasty words and sentiments? Consider taking it to a private vent channel or a journal or somewhere that a stranger with moral OCD/scrupulosity isn't likely to run across it.

Remember, most people don't want to hurt anyone. More people are ignorant than malicious. People naturally want to do the right thing, so if you feel like you have to guilt them or shame them into it, there's probably a fundamental communication issue somewhere, or they simply lack the context to understand why what you're saying is so important.

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One of my least favourite parts about BPD is emotional Impermanence. My emotions are already SO BIG but once my mood changes (and it changes QUICK) I don't feel like my previous emotion was valid in the slightest - it's so easy for me to feel like it "wasn't that bad"

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Being plural is like

Woah I’m glad that breakdown is over, I hope no one saw that.

The fucking Grinch: Yeah

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Getting kicked outta’ dormancy sure is An Experience. Wow.

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I hate when DID is horrible and awful but also funny but you cant talk about it being awful because then you're attention seeking and you cant talk about the good times because then you're romanticizing a disorder and if you talk about it at all you're faking and AHHHHHHHHH

ARE WE ALLOWED TO JUST BE A PERSON ON THE INTERNET COPING FOR FUCKS SAKE