toothpastecanyon

[toothpastecanyon]

How did it take you 5 year to unlock the rock B?

Were you just that unlucky?

In fly

Bad luck and not always playing consistently, haha. I also don't play boarding ships as much, which is the only realistic achievement after the defense drones one.

[toothpastecanyon]

A Hero or a Killer (or a Brother)

Dexter chooses Debra that night. But she hears just a little too much - enough to shake her faith in everything she's believed about her family. Now, with bloody secrets finally out in the open, she's faced with her own decision: does she choose him back? AU where Debra's awake to hear the conversation between Dexter and Brian. See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

Cold. Hard. Metal. That’s the first thing Deb could remember - being pressed to it, packaged like meat. Wrapped tight… but she couldn’t even try to struggle. She could barely breathe, and with all her might not even the tips of her toes twitched.

Fuck, she couldn’t even open her eyes. Like sleep paralysis on steroids… and the monster, she knew, was somewhere. Was he out of the room, or was he being quiet? Was he looming over her right now, knife in hand, ready to drain her dry? A screwed up shitbag like Rudy probably wouldn't miss a chance to gloat first… but maybe he’d had his fill playing fiance on the boat.

Maybe the knife was coming.

Any.

Second.

Now.

…

Fuck. Fuck! She could feel the blood beating in her neck, but still she couldn’t move a muscle. Just open your eyes, Deb. Just get your eyes open, come on, she can’t stand not knowing, if she’s gonna die please god just let her see it coming-

A door shuts. Deb hears footsteps, and there’s no relief in knowing where he is; there’s only terror, and the coldness of the gurney seeping into her bones. She knows the voice that speaks next.

“I prepared her just the way you like.”

It’s funny. You’d think Rudy would sound different somehow, doing something like this. But he might as well be discussing dinner plans after she came home from work. The ring on her finger; everything in her wants to tear it off-

“This time, we’ll do it together.”

And the words take a moment to sink in.

She hears it now. A second set of footsteps.

Another presence circling the gurney.

She knows the voice that speaks next.

______________________________________________________________

Lights flashing, sirens wailing, cops swarming the place - it was strange how something so familiar could shift just a little and become alien.

Alien.

Debra sat in that ambulance, and if looks could kill she'd have stared a hole into the back of Dexter’s head. He looked so ordinary there, hands clasped behind his back, head a little bowed as he recounted his story… and that's all it was, wasn't it?

A story.

A lie.

“Does it have to be Deb?”

Doakes wasn't happy; she didn't have to be over there to see that much. Dexter snuck a glance over his shoulder, raised eyebrows and a shrug like what's his problem with me?

Normally she’d laugh. But there was a trauma blanket wrapped around her like packaged meat and an EMT shining a flashlight in her eyes and a ring she couldn't fucking get off her finger, and maybe that was why she just stared him down.

“That’s not why I kill.”

Maybe that's what he thought, too - no normal person would blame her for being out of it. Maybe that's why he didn't look too bothered by the look in her eyes, then Doakes got in his face and she couldn’t see him anymore.

Debra shook her head. Maybe she could never really see him… because she was still doing it, wasn’t she? She was still making the same fucking mistake that got her alone on a boat with a serial killer.

She was assuming he was normal.

______________________________________________________________

It used to drive Debra crazy when he got like this. Sitting dead silent in the ambulance next to her; she could feel the little glances he was sneaking her, the hidden thoughts in every puff of breath and jiggling knee she’d spent her life trying to decipher. But now the locks had been blown open right in front of her, and she could read him like a book.

Does she know?

A little tapping on his knee, a mouth half-opened before he thought better of it.

How much does she know?

Too much. Deb turned the ring on her finger, the red jewel glinting like bloodsplatter. He’d been right all along - she didn’t want this.

“So,” his voice made her jump. “Heard you got engaged.”

She looked up at him, at the half-smile slowly dying on his face.

“Too soon?” He watched her fumble to take it off. “Stop, you’re gonna dislocate it, let me-”

“No!” Debra flinched away, shook her head. “No, no, I-I got it.”

“You sure?”

It hurt like hell, but she kept pulling. “Gotta, agh, do this… myself!” It popped off, and she chucked it away, cradled her stinging finger. “Shit. I really know how to pick ‘em, don’t I? Fuck…”

“It’s not your fault.”

Not her fault… she stilled at that, glanced up at him. He looked concerned, his hand hovering over her shoulder like he wasn’t sure how to help. That’s what he looked like, anyway - but she could still see the question burning in his mind, the restraint in his answers as he tried to feel her out.

Okay, Dex. Debra raised an eyebrow. “Not my fault?” She barked a laugh. “Well… whose fault is it then?”

“Deb-”

“I’m the idiot who got on a fucking boat with him, why didn’t I see this coming!” She threw her hands up. “I mean, I’m a goddamned cop, Dexter! How the hell did I miss there was a serial killer right in front of me? I’ve gotta be some kind of idiot to do that!”

“Don’t be like that-”

“I’m serious! That’s probably why he went after me - I mean, he told me himself, I…” The ring glinted at her from the corner, and she swallowed the bile in her throat. “I made it easy, Dex. All he had to do was say he loved me and, I-I would’ve gone anywhere with him. Probably would’ve walked into his fucking freezer if he asked me.”

“It’s not your fault, Deb.” Finally, Dexter put a hand on her shoulder. “He was a monster, okay? He fooled everyone, he put on a mask - that’s what guys like that do.”

That’s what they do, huh? She looked back at him, at his shoulders, suddenly loose, like the tension had gone out of him. Once, she’d have thought that awkward smile he shot her was his version of reassuring, but she saw through it now. The mask - his own private joke, now that he thought she didn’t know. And he continued.

“You were just lucky, I guess.”

Just lucky, huh. She looked over at him, and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Just lucky, huh?” A laugh. “Weird. Would’ve thought it had something to do with Harry’s code.”

And she watched his. Face. Drop.

The gentle hand on her back recoiled, and he jumped back like she’d shot him. “How-” he started, and she jabbed a finger at his chest.

“Much did I hear? Everything, asshole.” She leaned in closer. “Dad fucking knew about this?!”

Dexter was clammy, his eyes wide, his mouth open. He just glanced over her shoulder - the ambulance drivers. The message was clear.

“I should turn you in right now,” Deb hissed… but, after a moment, she eased off. “But you did save me. How nice to hear, after all these years, you’re fond of me.”

“Debra-”

“You get one shot. No more lies, no more pushing me away, you tell me everything.” She could feel the ambulance turning; they were pulling in. “Okay?”

Dexter swallowed, hard. “I…” He looked away. “I don’t know. I don’t think you can handle it.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t get to decide that after your little friend ties me to a table, okay? You want me to tell Doakes-”

“No! Jeez, Deb, just…” He put his face in his hands. “Just give me a night, alright? Stay at the hospital, I-I’ll pick you up tomorrow, and… we’ll talk.”

“About everything? Even Dad?”

“About everything.” He looked her dead in the eyes, and the nerves were gone. Everything she knew about her brother was gone, and all that was left was… emptiness. “Just give me one more night, Debra.”

Debra shuddered. She could feel the ambulance slow to a stop; they took the keys out and for a moment all the lights went out, and all she could see of the man sitting next to her were his empty eyes, glinting in the darkness.

Then the doors were thrown open. Light streamed into the cabin as the driver stepped past him and helped her out. She cast one last look over her shoulder; she couldn’t quite see him, but she could still feel his stare the same way she’d felt Rudy’s - the stare of a predator, forced out of the tall grass, basking in the light of what it truly was.

One more night.

Debra felt a shiver down her spine. She’d just made a deal with the devil.

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 10

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Stuck with the fucking freshman… ugh, Lucy Ann was really wishing she took that second deal. She waited, foot tapping, outside history class, watching the students file in. Their little friend had entered earlier, shuffling in alone with a vacant stare and no books. It looked harmless enough - but, you know, with an unknown and no Alcor, it seemed sensible to wait for backup.

Oh, and here she was. Lucy Ann raised an eyebrow as Xiafan came rushing down the corridor, wearing a bright orange winter coat.

“Sorry,” she was saying. “Got held up in my other class-”

“What are you wearing?”

“Huh?” Xiaofan blinked. “My coat - like you said, for…?”

She mimed putting the hood up, and Lucy Ann had to take a moment.

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s ninety degrees, blue sky outside, and you think that’s inconspicuous?”

“Well, I’m from Winnipeg - all my coats are like this.” She frowned. “I thought you wanted me to bring a hood?”

“Yeah, because I thought you’d have a normal fucking-” Lucy Ann stopped herself. “Okay! Okay, that’s fine.”

“Sorry, I… don’t wear normal hoodies, I guess-”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not part of my fashion, I-”

“I said it’s fine.” She put her hand up. “Let’s just… get to class, alright? I’ll point our friend out to you.”

“Okay… hey, you seem pretty upset; are you sure the coat’s not gonna be a- whoa!”

Dragging Xiaofan into class, she led them to a spot at the very back of the hall. She sat down and dug out her phone; out of the corner of her eye, she could see Xiaofan glancing around.

“Where’s Dipper?” She said in a lowered voice, and Lucy Ann scowled.

“Couldn’t make it.”

“Why not?”

“Cause he couldn’t.” She glanced over. “Are you gonna take out your notes or what?”

“Are we staying for the lecture?”

“Uh, yeah? What kind of a question is that?”

“I dunno, you just - you haven’t given me a lot to go on.” Xiaofan frowned at her. “And you seem really stressed now. Is the coat gonna be-”

“Will you shut up about the coat?” She snapped, and then grimaced as she flinched. “Sorry, that was rude. Look, I don’t mean to snap - just with Dipper gone, I’ve really gotta be on the ball with this. It’ll still be safe, but you gotta listen to everything I say, alright?”

“Of course, but… where is he?”

“Stuff came up. Don’t worry about it.” She scrolled until she got to the Organ Duck’s texts, clicked on a picture, and showed it to Xiaofan. “This is our friend,” she said in an undertone. “Annabelle Strotts, over in the corner there - hey, don’t stare.”

“Okay. Okay.” Xiaofan swallowed. “So we just…?”

“Looks like it’s low on energy.” Lucy Ann watched the bodysnatcher’s head dip forwards. “It’ll be looking for an opportunity to switch, but for now that makes it docile. I’ll walk up to it when class ends, and with a bit of luck, I can probably just lead it outside.”

“And then?”

The professor was stepping up to the lectern; Lucy Ann sat back. “We’ll get to that,” she murmured. “Just keep your eyes on our friend. Tell me if it touches anyone.”

And so history class plodded along, Lucy Ann keeping her hand on her phone in case the Organ Duck had any messages. She tried to keep her eyes on the bodysnatcher, but they'd often stray to the door.

Dipper probably wasn't coming… but damn if she wasn't still holding her breath for him.

It was funny, wasn't it? He thought he was just incidental to the exorcism, so unimportant he could just skip out and leave it to her… but, you know, in a way, it wasn't really him she was waiting for.

Dipper and Alcor - they were the same, but they weren't the same. She liked Dipper, but she could never really see him as more than a thin skin stretched over her real friend. Alcor wouldn't be mad at her right now.

A sigh.

But it must be pretty annoying to be treated like a costume, huh? She had a feeling their next talk was going to be fun .

“Lucy Ann!”

A nudge made her look over; the bodysnatcher had hit the desk with an audible thump. Luckily it was only one of several nappers the professor was politely ignoring, but it was rather odd for a bodysnatcher. They tended to try and blend in.

Hmm. She didn’t like that… but she glanced over at Xiaofan, and feigned a shrug.

“Tired, I guess. Makes our job easier.” She sat back. “What time is it?”

“Uh, nearly six.”

“Lecture’s almost over, then.” Lucy Ann glanced at the sun peeking through the windows. “Gonna be dark soon - that’s perfect.”

_____________________________

Gonna be dark soon. Mal watched Dipper’s lights disappear behind the trees. She could hear her mother approaching, so she didn’t flinch when a gentle hand touched her shoulder.

“Everything alright, dear?”

“Huh?” Mal looked back, and smiled. “Oh, yeah, bit shaken up, but I’m fine. Glad they got rid of the deer, poor thing.”

The hand didn’t leave. Her mother’s eyes tightened as she waited for the real answer… but unspoken questions were easy to dodge.

“Aaanyway,” she clapped her hands. “Dipper's got me way behind on my schedule, so I might try working late.”

“You don't have to do that.”

“Eh, once you get behind it's so stressful playing catch up.” She backed away. “See you tomorrow, Mom. Love you.”

“You don't want dinner?”

“No, no, I've eaten!”

And Mal was off before she could argue, hurrying down the hall to the crematorium.

She wasn't lying, really - she was pretty behind on her plans after that deer business.

And there was a lot to do tonight.

_____________________________

“Heyyy, buddy.”

Just a hand on its arm stopped the bodysnatcher. It didn't turn to look at Lucy Ann, so she leaned forward to look at it.

“You remember our plans? To go out to study at the library?”

Bodysnatchers tried to blend in so a good way to trap them was making up a prior arrangement… but, looking at the thing's blank stare, Lucy Ann didn't think she needed to really build a story.

She tugged its shirt, and it stepped obligingly back. Raising her eyebrows, she gently guided it down the stairs, then looked back up at Xiaofan.

“You coming?”

“O-oh!” Xiaofan grabbed her coat. "Coming!"

_____________________________

Mal grabbed her coat off the wall. She felt around her collar for a coloured glass necklace, ripped it off, then knelt down and held it to the padlocked section of the cupboards. Wards glowed, and then it opened with a click.

And there was that backpack, covered now in dust and cobwebs. Mal took a breath; a box of gloves were next to it, and she grabbed a pair.

_____________________________

“Just a little further.”

Trudging through trees silhouetted by the orange sky, Lucy Ann led the bodysnatcher forwards. It stumbled a bit on the rough terrain, but said nothing.

Xiaofan, on the other hand?

“Where are we going?”

“I said, just a little further.”

“But where is that?”

“What do you want, a postcode?”

“But-”

“Look,” Lucy Ann shot a look over her shoulder. “I'll tell you when we get there, but I'm not playing ‘are we there yet’ like you're a kid on a road trip!”

“Okay, okay, jeez.” Xiaofan put her hands up. “Sorry, it's just - you said we've got to be on the ball tonight, but you haven't told me where we're going or what I'm supposed to-”

“I said I've got to be on the ball tonight. You've just got to listen to me.”

“Yeah, but-”

“It's just a little further.” Lucy Ann raised her eyebrows at her. “That's all you need to know right now, okay?”

Xiaofan didn't respond to that, and Lucy Ann turned back to the front. She didn't catch the way Xiaofan's expression darkened to a tight-lipped scowl.

_____________________________

“Yeah, thanks Gemmy!” Mal stuck a finger in her ear to block out the sound of the ventilator. “Hah, yeah, anyway, I'll pass that onto Dipper. You too. Alright, good night!”

She hung up, and her smile slipped off her face.

Checking around the room one more time, Mal grabbed her mother's car keys, hefted the backpack, and left out the back door.

_____________________________

The bodysnatcher was whispering something. That's what Lucy Ann noticed as she sat it down in the centre of a circle.

“Hmm…”

“What's wrong?”

Stars, Xiaofan really loved asking questions, didn't she? It was the mark of a good demonologist… but when you didn't want a good demonologist prying into shit?

“Lucy Ann? What's-”

“For the last time, nothing's wrong!” She whirled around. “Now have you finished those candles?”

“I-”

“You haven't.” Lucy Ann rolled her eyes. “So how about you spend a little more time on that, and a little less distracting me, yeah? Alright.”

Then she turned back to the bodysnatcher, ripped off a strip of duct tape, and covered those moving lips. She clasped its wrists behind its back and started wrapping them up; once that felt thick enough, she got to her feet.

“That should do it!” She walked over to Xiaofan, and noticed her sullen expression as she lit the last candle. “Sweet, good job with those. You, uh, want a quick exorcism lesson before we start?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you wanted some experience out of this, right?” She pointed to the lines in salt. “Check this out. Salt's fallen out of fashion with modern demonologists because it's harder to write with, but it's so much easier on grassy surfaces like this than chalk.” A wink. “Plus, it's not banned.”

“It won't be banned for me when I'm a demonologist.” A squeaking sound as Xiaofan crossed her arms in her puffy coat. “And trust me, this is the first and last unauthorised circle I'm participating in.”

Lucy Ann snorted. “Oh, yeah, wouldn't want to do something unauthorised.”

“You have a problem with that?”

“Hey, you do you, but I gotta say the Isles are ridiculous about this stuff.”

“About demons?” Xiaofan arched an eyebrow. “You have heard of the California-”

“California Incident, yeah, I know. But you said it yourself: you'd never normally do something like this. So why are you here?”

“I-”

“Because the laws are so strict you can't report it without getting into trouble yourself.” Lucy Ann shrugged at her. “So what does that say about the law? Is it really keeping people safe if it's leading even rule followers like you into dark forests at night?”

Xiaofan didn't respond to that; silence hung heavy in the air as they stared each other down. Finally Xiaofan broke it off.

“I'm here because someone summoned this stupid demon.” She muttered. “And they've gotta answer for the harm they’ve caused - that's what I'm gonna be doing when I become a state demonologist.”

Lucy Ann didn't care to argue any more. “Sure,” she said, putting up her hood. “Stand back.”

A beat, and then Xiaofan jumped back. Lucy Ann stared down the figure in the circle as she raised her arms and began to chant in Sumerian.

A cold wind rustled the trees. The salt lines began to glow in the shadows, and the figure that had been sitting so still in the centre began to shudder.

“Is it working?” asked Xiaofan, but Lucy Ann only raised her voice higher. The circle shone with an eerie blue-tinged glow, and the figure, kicking and convulsing, collapsed on its side.

Its mouth was straining against the tape. As its eyes began to glow, so too did the tape pick up a strange backlight. Now shadows were extending from the figure, lengthening like they were pulling the darkness out of her.

They kept pulling, kept pulling, and the figure hugged itself into a tighter and tighter ball until-

Crack! The tape split, and the figure vomited a dark sludge onto the ground that quickly consolidated. It grew tall, taller, taller, taking on a humanlike form as it raced to the edge of the circle, raising high one forming arm and bringing it down-

Bringing down the blade of an axe, which caught in the wards just above Lucy Ann's head. She couldn't help but crack a grin.

“And that's why you always double the wards you think you need.” She winked at a grey-faced Xiaofan, and turned back to the creature. “Alright, you're an odd bodysnatcher. Why haven't you disappeared?”

“You need to banish it, right?”

“Normal demons, usually.” Lucy Ann's eyes traced up to the creatures face. “But bodysnatchers, they… they usually…”

And she trailed off, because framing two burning blue eyes was a pair of antlers.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Lucy Ann watched the creature slam its body against the wards, and her eyes widened.

What was wrong with the Woodsman?

“Lucy Ann!”

“Hold on, Xiaofan.” Lucy Ann held a hand up. “Let me just- let me just talk to it.”

“Talk to it?!”

“Heyyyy,” Lucy Ann spoke slowly, and the Woodsman seemed to slow. “You remember me, don't you? I'm Lucy Ann.”

A growling sound rumbled through its chest. Foamy spittle ran down its barkskin face, flying off in flecks as it shook its antlers. She reached through the wards to touch its shoulder.

“Talk to me, man, this isn't like you. What's making you possess random students?”

“What's making it do this?” Xiaofan stepped closer. “What are you talking about? I thought we were getting rid of this thing!”

“We're not getting rid of the Woodsman.” Lucy Ann's heart sank at the outrage on her face; yep, this was definitely going to be an issue. “Look, this normally a being that protects children-”

“Protects childr-”

“Yes,” She watched Xiaofan open her mouth. “and I don't have time to debate this with you! I need to find out what's got it terrorising college students instead.”

“It's doing that because it's a demon!” Xiaofan tried to grab Lucy Ann's hand. “Who's side are you on?!”

“Get off me!”

“No!”

“Argh!” Lucy Ann threw her to the ground. “I knew I should have done this alone! What the hell was I thinking?”

“What?”

They were interrupted by a roar, deep and bellowing. The Woodsman had turned away from Lucy Ann to batter at another part of the circle, and she caught sight of something sticking out of its back, glinting in the moonlight.

A knife?

But before Lucy Ann could think on that, its axe went through the wards. Xiaofan let out a cry and tried to stop it, but she took a stumbling step over the salt line; with the main circle broken, the waning wards shut off entirely.

Lucy Ann didn't even try to stop the Woodsman. She watched it stumble its way into the trees, then let out a groan as she put her head in her hands.

She didn't even look up at the sound of a scream - great, the vessel woke up. Perfect. She could hear them get up and run into the trees… and then she could hear a second set of feet, stomping as they approached her.

“It got away!”

“Yeah,” Lucy Ann finally dragged her head up to shoot a withering look at Xiaofan. “No shit.”

“You don't seem too upset about that.” Xiaofan's eyes narrowed accusingly. “It is you, isn't it! You're the summoner!”

“I'm not, but you're not gonna believe me.”

“Don’t play dumb, you let that demon get away!”

“The Woodsman isn't even a demon.”

“It's a manifestation of Alcor. Alcor!” She shook her head in disgust. “That's who's causing the spike, isn't it? I knew it couldn't just be a bodysnatcher - he's come back to the Isles because you and Dipper summoned him!”

“Hey, now, Dipper doesn't know about any of this!” Lucy Ann stabbed a finger at her. “Look, fine, I'm the summoner. I'll leave, okay? But leave Dipper out of this, or you'll be sorry.”

“I'll be sorry?” Xiaofan snorted… but then she looked down at the fangs glinting in Lucy Ann's mouth, and took a step back. “You're threatening me?”

“Oh, yes, I am.” She took a step forward. “You know why I brought us so deep in the forest? No one's gonna hear you scream in here.” Another step forward, an unpleasant smile. “So, I'll ask you again. Are you gonna leave Dipper out of this?”

She could see Xiaofan swallow. She opened her mouth, and spoke very quietly. “Yeah.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Lucy Ann held her stare for another moment, then nodded. “Good.” She looked her up and down. “Now take that stupid coat off. I can see you sweating.”

Casting her eyes back to the broken circle, she ignored the sound of Xiaofan walking, then running away. She sure hoped Xiaofan would keep her world, but there was nothing she could do about that - it wasn't like she was actually going to kill her.

A sigh.

Either way, though… Xiaofan was definitely going to make her leave. That was a shame - but maybe it was for the best.

That was what their whole argument was about, wasn't it? Lucy Ann was overshadowing him; perhaps the only answer was to move out of the way.

It was a shame… but oh, well.

She'd make sure to say goodbye.

______________________________________________________________

“Hi, Gemmy!”

“Oh, Emmy! Did you get back to NLA safe?”

“Yeah! Back in my dorm now… Uh, anyway, I got a question for you.”

“Sure! What's up?”

“Do you know a Yosieto Xiao-”

“Xiaofan, oh my gosh! Met her this semester and we're already besties! I think you'd love her, Mal, I've gotta introduce you two sometime!”

“Hah! Well, ah, Dipper just called me ‘cause he knows I know a demonologist at his uni.”

“Yeah?”

“Said he was studying with this Xiaofan for his history class, but she left one of her textbooks at the library.”

“Oh, no!”

“Yeah, and he didn't get her number, so he was wondering if I could ask you for her address? I think he doesn't share history with her for a few days.”

“Oh, of course! It's, ah… let me text it to you!”

“Yeah, thanks Gemmy!”

“Of course! Anything for you.”

“Hah, yeah, anyway, I'll pass that onto Dipper.”

“Sounds good! Love ya.”

“Alright, good night.”

Mal gazed down at the scribbled address under her gloved fingers. It was so easy to doom someone, she thought.

You could do it without even realising what you were doing.

The car’s clock read eleven, but it was later than that. The roads were utterly silent, and the apartment complex across the street was entirely blacked out, illuminated only by streetlights and the glow of the moon.

It was time.

The first thing Mal did was reach for her invisibility charm; she opened the door, put it on, then grabbed the backpack and got to her feet.

She checked twice before crossing the street - that made her chuckle a bit - and made her way across the parking lot. Once she could see the numbers, she started circling.

221 - this was 235, and to the left… 237, okay, other way. She found 221 up a set of stairs, a grey front door next to a big window with drawn shutters.

This was it, Mal thought, and felt her heartbeat skip up as she drew out her lockpicking kit. It took her longer than it normally did - her fingers were shaking a bit - but with a click, the door swung open.

Mal moved quickly after that. How many doors? She counted only one; good news. She'd packed for roommates, but this made it much easier.

She put the backpack down, drew out a baseball bat, and moved to the bedroom door.

One hand just brushed the top of the handle, her ears on alert for sounds. Slowly, slowly, slowly, she turned the handle, her grip squeezing the baseball bat until her knuckles went white, until she could peek inside.

Mal could barely make out a single lump on the bed. She kept watching, and she could see the gentle motion of Xiaofan's breath.

With a grin, Mal put down the bat and drew out a glass charm. She picked her way over books and clothes, stopping at the slightest creak. She was standing directly over Xiaofan, now, staring at an open palm lying on the pillow by her head.

Mal pressed the charm into that hand. Nothing ostensibly changed… and boy, her heart was thumping at what she had to do next.

She lowered her hands down to Xiaofan's ear, and clapped. The sound echoed throught the apartment, but Xiaofan didn't react.

“Hey! Wake up!” No response. “Wake up if you don't me to ruin your life! No, you're good with it? Cool, just wanted to check!"

Nothing. Mal smirked as she turned around - and immediately stubbed her toe on a book.

“Aahh, you fucking… Ow!” She kicked the book into the wall and stalked back into the kitchen. “Alright. Let's get this shit done.”

Grabbing the grey backpack, Mal opened the pockets and unceremoniously tipped the contents onto the floor. Precious jewels clattered on the wood; Harry's gun fell out, and she picked that up along with a couple of gems. She wandered into the bathroom where she could see Xiaofan's makeup, and placed a ring and a couple necklaces among her things.

The gun she kept as she walked back up to Xiaofan's sleeping form. Her phone was on the nightstand, and when Mal turned it on, she could see a picture of Xiaofan and… probably her mother.

They looked happy.

It was the exact kind of photo Mal had on her homescreen, too; just her and Dipper and her mother smiling on a trip to the Grand Canyon.

…

Mal turned it off, and pocketed it. She took out a bullet, loaded the pistol, and pointed it at the open window.

She was missing something… oh, yeah, hearing protection. Dipper had told her tinnitus was a bummer.

So she put on some earmuffs and shot at the window; the glass shattered and little shards snowed onto Xiaofan's desk, but she didn't stir.

Mal dropped the gun. Already she could hear footsteps above her; she had to move fast.

Grabbing the sleeping charm from Xiaofan's hands, she crept out of the bedroom, walked through the glinting jewelry strewn around the living room, and hurried through the open door. The neighbor's lights were already on; she made her way past them, down the stairs, through the parking lot, and across the street back to her car and then she got out of there.

The first sirens began to echo behind her as Mal started the long drive home, and she couldn't help the smirk crawling up her face.

You know, she should call Dipper tomorrow. See if there's been any new developments in that case involving ohhhh, what was her name? Xiaofan, was it?

Mal snorted to herself. Yeah, that sounds right. Whoa, she's been arrested, you say?

Now how about that.

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 9

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

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"Darn. Well, there's the house.”

Trudging out of the trees, Mal held a branch out of the way for Dipper. He nodded in thanks, but his mind was clearly elsewhere.

Sorry we couldn't find the car, bro.” She said, and watched him slow to a stop. “We could come back tomorrow? I mean, it's a sizable forest; maybe we just walked in the wrong direction.”

“Yeah…” Dipper was nodding. “Yeah, I just- wait, no, you've got your job.”

“Screw my job, I've gotta keep you from getting yourself killed.” She raised her eyebrows at him. “You're not doing this thing without me, alright? I'll figure somethIng out - maybe tomorrow Mom can… Ugh, wait, there's a funeral tomorrow.” She made a face. “Maybe we could squeeze it in this weekend? I'm driving Dad to an appointment; I could pick you up and-”

Dipper's guilty expression had been deepening, and he finally cut in. “No, no, no, that's- don't worry about it.”

“You sure?”

“We could be out here for days, and you're busy enough as is.”

“I don't mind-”

“No, no, I won't- I'll figure something else out.”

“Oh-kay.” She crossed her arms. “But that something’s not going out on your own, right?”

“No. N-no, definitely not.”

“You promise?”

Dipper hesitated for a second, his eyes darting to the side before shooting her a nervous smile. “Y-yeah, yeah, I promise!”

“You better mean it, because if I find you in there-”

“I'm not gonna-”

“-you won't have to worry about the jewelry store guy killing you. Hah!"

She patted his shoulder hard, and snorted at the deer-in-headlights look he was giving her. Oh, dude was 100% gonna break this promise, but that was fine.

All she had to do now was move the car, and then the whole forest would turn into one huge dead end.

With that in mind, she winked and turned away from him. “Aaaanyway, it was nice to hang out! Reminds me of when we were kids, just kicking it in the forest. Not a care in the world.”

“Yeah… yeah!” Dipper's smile relaxed. “Hah - remember that time you tried to make a treehouse?”

“You mean that time I broke my arm and you cried more than me?”

“I thought you were dead!”

“I was fiiiine,” she slung an arm around him. “It was cute how much you worried, though. You're a good brother sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Most of the time, even. I- hey!” She snickered as he poked her. “You little jerk, I'm going back to sometimes!”

They had a little slapfight on their way to the parking lot. There was a deer standing by the cars, Mal noticed. She put an arm out in front of Dipper.

“What?”

“Shh!” She saw it turn and sighed. “Boooo, you've scared him off.”

But it was strange - the deer didn't run. It turned in a staggering, drunken loop, its head bobbing like its antlers were weighing it down. Its hide was slick with sweat, its ribs heaving. White stuff was dripping from its lips.

“Oh, no,” Dipper’s voice lowered. “Poor guy's sick. Should we-”

Thump. Overbalancing, it toppled into a car and started kicking wildly to get up. Mal started pushing Dipper to the door.

“Something's wrong. Let's go inside.”

“Actually, I was gonna - I was gonna head back.”

“Dipper-”

“I was gonna help my friend with, um…” Behind him the deer staggered to its feet. “a history assignment - I'm actually kind of late for something, I'd better-”

The deer tipped sideways and started run-falling right at them. Mal shoved him out of the way. “Shit, go go go!”

She turned to run and the deer must have missed her by inches; she could feel the wind rush past her arm. The two of them scrambled to the front door and slammed it behind them.

For a moment there was just the sound of their breath, the feel of their hearts thumping in their necks. Mal looked over at Dipper, and the two of them broke into nervous laughter.

“What the fuck…?” Mal looked him up and down. “You alright?”

“Yeah, a-are you?”

“Think so. That was-”

“Mal?” Their mother came jogging out. “What are- gosh, are you two alright? You look like ghosts.”

“Yeah, yeah, um…” Mal pushed herself off the door and rushed to a window. “Yeah, can we call, um, what's the name - animal control? I think we got a rabid deer in the parking lot.”

“A what?”

The deer staggered up to the mirror and fell on its side. “Dude, I can see it foaming at the mouth. We gotta get it out of here - I mean, stara, our customers park there!”

No reply. Mal looked back to see them both st frozen.

“Are you gonna call or are you gonna stand there like a pair of lemons?” She snapped her fingers. “Hellooo!”

Her mother blinked. “Oh… oh, yes, yes! Dipper, watch your father a moment!”

The two of them darted off, and Mal stood alone. Her heart was still pounding in her chest; she realised her hands were shaking when she lifted them up.

Jesus Christ, that was close. It didn't get her, did it? She combed over her arm for cuts and scrapes, but she couldn't feel anything.

Okay, that's good, that's-

Mal's gaze traced over to the deer, and she couldn't quite place the overwhelming wrongness that shot her slowing heart back into double-time.

The deer's eye, it was blue. And the shape of it was all wrong, it was…

It was human.

It stared right into her soul with pinprick-pupils, its foaming lips moving in breathless whispers. It shifted its head and many somethings swung from its antlers; pale hands, severed at the wrist and hanging limp.

Mal, frozen in terror, looked back at that awful eye just in time to see it cut its gaze down and then-

And then it was just a sick deer again. One brown-black eye, half-rolled back in its skull, slowly slid closed, and its heaving flanks stilled.

Mal blinked. She swallowed, hard.

Unconsiously, one of her hands strayed over to the other, and rubbed her wrist.

[toothpastecanyon]

The Comfort of Agony, Chapter 11

For the first time in his eternal life, Alcor had been bound. He couldn't leave even if he wanted to... so it was just as well  that he didn't want to leave, right? After all, this was what Mizar wanted.

He didn't know what she was so angry with him for, but he probably deserved it.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Step by step, every one letting off an awful creak. It was dark down here, but, finally, Piper felt a rush of something from the mirror; her vision went double for a second, then blinked open and she could see the stairs.

“Thanks,” she muttered, but immediately froze in place at the sound of a gasp.

“Who’s- Mag?” Said the voice, and Piper’s heart went right to her throat. “Is that you?”

“Dad?”

“Piper!” She could hear the horror in her name, but it was music to her ears; she ran down the stairs. “How are you- you shouldn’t be here!”

She could see him, tied to a chair and blindfolded, in the center of the basement. Dried blood crusted his hair. “I came to get you! Are you- oh my stars, what happened?”

“Mag, he-” A cough; David shook his head. “Pl-please, get out of here, Piper.”

“I’ve just got to untie you-”

“No! Piper, it’s-” He jerked away from her arms. “It’s the demon!”

“The demon.” Piper cast a glance down at the mirror. “There’s- there’s something I found out, Dad. But I’ll tell you later - just let me get you out of here.”

She set down the jar and reached for the blindfold on his face - the knot was at the back of his head, and it was tight. She couldn’t get her nails in!

“Just pull it off,” Alcor muttered, and she blinked. Oh, yeah.

“Who said that?”

“Uh, don’t worry about it, Dad.” Piper slipped her fingers behind the front of the blindfold. “Just let me- agh!”

It was like her fingers were on a stovetop; she jerked them back, sucking in a breath. Sharp tingles shot down her hand like little zaps, and when she dared to look, she could see her digits were already reddening. What on earth? It was like she’d been burned… wait.

“Piper?”

David. She’d ripped the blindfold halfway up his forehead, and he was peering into the darkness - because it was dark, but she could see.

“Piper, are you okay? What happened?”

She could see - there was something glinting on his chest. Some kind of symbol, attached to a chain, and oh that was the exorcist’s necklace he owned. He’d gotten her the same one when she moved out - it was specifically tuned to repel Alcor’s demonic energy.

“Piper!”

Her hand still stung, and a lump lodged in her throat. He must have put it on because he thought Alcor was with Mag… but how was she supposed to get him out of here if she couldn’t touch him? Maybe if she put the mirror down-

“Don’t even think about it in here,” Alcor shook his head at her. “I think that’s his plan.”

“That voice again!” David was straining against the chair. “Who is that! What have you done with my daughter? Just let her go!”

Shit, shit, shit, what was she supposed to do? If she couldn’t get him untied-

A blinding flash. Piper covered her eyes as they adjusted; the lights had come on! She squinted them open to see her Dad, staring at her with wide eyes.

“Piper…” His gaze raked over the bruises and bloodstains, down to the mirror in her hand. And he blanched. “That’s- i-it can’t be. No!”

“Dad-”

“Drop that mirror! Piper, drop it and run! Now!”

“It’s not-”

He was thrashing against the ropes. “You don’t understand! Drop it! DROP IT!”

Piper stepped back… and heard the door at the top of the stairs slam closed. Both of them went dead silent, heads darting up to see…

To see a pair of boots standing between them and the exit. Her heart in her throat, Alcor’s energy bubbling just under her skin, she watched it step down.

Creak, creak, creak. Step by step, Mag’s towering frame came into view. His glowing eyes covered by sunglasses, yet she could feel them fixing on her. He got to the bottom step and just stopped there, staring her down. She clenched the mirror.

“Well?” She shouted, trying to ignore her Dad’s eyes on her. “I did what you told me, angel! You’re going to let my Dad go now!”

“What?” Her dad shook his head. “No, Piper-”

“Shh, Dad.” She couldn’t take her eyes off him. “So, are you gonna say anything? Before you kill me like you killed Scarlett?”

Silence - she didn’t dare look at her Dad, but she could hear a sharp breath. The angel didn’t seem to respond at all…and then, she saw the slightest smirk lift Mag’s lips. She scowled.

“This is funny to you? What kind of angel are you supposed to be?”

It didn’t speak through Mag’s lips. Its reply seemed to echo too loud in her mind:

     You’re trying to ‘tell’ on me to your father, are you? I apologise, but the futility is… undeniably amusing.

It took one last step down.

     The truth is, you have all been tested, and you have all disappointed me. There is only one path left to redeem your souls.

“Wha-” Piper stepped in front of her Dad. “He doesn’t have anything to do with Alcor! You said you’d let him go if I came here!”

     I said I would kill him if you ran from me. You are reading your own wishes into my words.

“You-” Piper took a half-step forward, but her foot brushed against something on the ground: oh, right, the sludge jar! Maybe she could-

     You're going to kick that at me? Thr smirk was back, wider. I can see the thousands of realities where you miss completely, and the tens of realities where it strikes me without shattering, and falls harmlessly to the ground. I can see everything.

Piper scowled. The angel took a step closer.

     Piper Wright. Not a particularly athletic human, nor an especially clever one. In all aspects, a perfectly unremarkable example of your species. Listen to me now, child.

Another step closer. Piper felt her jeans brushing against her father's knees, but she couldn't stand aside.

     You cannot win. You can only choose how you would like to die.

The angel made a slow, mocking grab for her. She batted him off with the mirror, backed up to her Dad's side.

     Drop the mirror, and accept your end with dignity . A pause, heavy with expectation. When Piper stayed frozen, its expression darkened. Or give yourself willfully to the service of a demon, and die choking on your sins. This is your last chance.

Piper's mind was running a mile a minute, but everything was coming up blank. She wasn't hearing any great ideas from Alcor either - what was she going to do?

Her own terrified gaze reflected back at her from the angel's glasses. She saw it move, saw its hand reach down to its hip and draw out a gun.

What was she going to do?

     Very well. Its voice boomed in Piper’s head; Mag's hand, slightly tremoring, drew up to point the gun at her. You have made your-

A flash of movement. Lunging forward like a cornered animal, David sank his teeth into Mag's wrist. And, heart hammering in her chest, Piper watched in slow motion.

Ba-dum.

The gun slipping out of his hands. The angel jerking back, the whole chair lurching forwards as David hung on.

Ba-dum.

Red blood welling up, running down. The gun falling down. Piper feels herself welling up, a great overwhelming rush rising from the mirror and winding her arm back as it took

Ba-dum.

a step. The angel was balling a fist. A shattering sound as the gun smashed through the top of the jar. A raw, throat-ripping yell coming from her own mouth filled her ears as the two of  them swung the mirror up and into his face.

Ba-dum.

Mag’s body staggered back; David let go as his chair tipped over.

Ba-dum.

Plastic shards.

Ba-dum.

A frame clattering to the floor.

Ba-dum.

His

Ba-dum.

eyes.

Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum

The angel held its face for a good long moment, and when it looked up, Piper was struck by the glow - or the rather, the weakness of it. She could make out Mag’s pupils darting wildly around, and the stiffness it moved with - it didn’t seem deliberate, suddenly. It seemed like a struggle.

“Mag!” The sudden hope in Alcor’s voice mirrored the relief radiating through her. “He’s fighting in there, he must be!”

The angel’s head snapped towards the mirror. It threw itself at her, but it was a clumsy move; Alcor all but danced around it.

“Well, this is new!” He chirped as the angel turned around. “I’ve never heard of a bluffing angel before! He’s really fighting you, huh?” His grin sharpened. “It’s like you’re trying to kill his daughter. Again.”

The gun was right by the angel’s feet, covered in glass shards and demonic sludge. Alcor snorted as he saw him eye it.

“You gonna try and pick that up? Great idea, that’s really gonna help you keep Mag down.” A nod as the angel stepped past it. “Yeah, there we go. Weird, you’ve gone quiet all of a sudden. What’s the matter?”

Alcor may have found something funny in the angel’s death stare, but Piper wasn’t such a fan of the goading. She gave him a mental tug and felt him clear his throat.

“Anyway, uh…” He hesitated, and then let out a growl. “I really got to offer this, don’t I? Look - I can’t drag you out of Mag in this body, and you look like you can barely move. So even though you r̶̛̰e̵̜͊a̷lly don’t deserve this-”

   You’re proposing a deal?

The angel sounded oddly amused. Piper felt her fists ball. “Yes, and you better listen up, because I’m only going to say this once. Get out of Mag, leave me and mine alone forever, and I won’t chase you down and r̷̡͑i̷̺̐̋p̵̢̑ y̷̡̓o̶̮̼̐͗ų̶̌r̸͚̿ s̸͉̆̈o̷̡͕͌u̷̠̓͠l into more piece̷͉̠̬̾̈̀͘͝s̸͕͉̬̗̓͒̽̄ ̴ tĥ̵̬͍͍͇̉͗̈́͊͠͝a̸̛̅̿̊͘̚n tḧ̷͉͙̘̼̞̜͍́̑̔̀͂̃̃͘ę̷̜̪̹̪͗̑̓̈r̵͖̜̣̮̀̔͐̓̌͜è̵̻͍͚̣̟̺ ̵̘͍̀͐͐̅ā̵͚̍͝r̷̙̗̟̅̐͊̏͜è̸͒͒̏̀͜͝͝ ̸͇̙͆͊͝ş̴͓̱͈̤̹̣̂̓̏̅̚t̸̥͛͒̒ạ̷̡̤͆͌͋ͅr̷̥͎̝̞̝̯̪̓̈́̃̅̀̔͠s̴̘̝̓͗͂̈ ̶̰̲͙͌̍̏̓͋̓ī̵͈̣̻͆̀ͅņ̷̖̝̱͑̂́ ̸̪̫͓̘̇̋̌t̷̩̳͂̃̿͂h̷̢̫͙̣͉͉̀͑͜é̸͎͇ ̷̜̣̪͐̉ù̴̢̗̣͙͐̈̀̀͋̚n̸̛̥̟͍̋̍̀̊̂́î̷͔̣͓͇̻v̸̘͎̈́̂͋e̶̬̱̯͚̪̽́͆̒̓́̓r̷̻̼̣̜̘̃̂s̶̨͇̻̯̈́̿̎̿e̶̢̩̪̤̙̾̅̔̈́̾͊̄.”

His words sent a chill down Piper’s spine, but the angel didn’t seem to react. Alcor raised an eyebrow.

“Well?”

   An angel, making a deal with a demon. You expect me to dignify this with a response?

Alcor scowled. “Seriously? You can’t be-”

   And yet I do admit, continued the angel, there is some wisdom to your twisted words. To leave you and yours to your wickedness - this certainly seems the will of this body.  Despite all I have done to try and guide it to the light, still it turns from me at this critical moment.

The uneasiness bubbling from the mirror echoed Piper’s own. They watched as the angel seemed to think for a moment… and then break a very thin smile.

   Yes, demon, perhaps you’re right. I won’t be taking your deal, but if Magnus truly wants me gone, I would be less than the crudest bodysnatcher to deny him his free will.

          I only hope,

                                   in his last moments,

                                                                          he realises how much I’ve done for him.

The words were still washing over them as Mag raised his hands to the sky, the tattoos on his arm glowing brighter, brighter, blinding- and then they shut off. And like a puppet with his strings cut, he collapsed to the ground.

Piper and Alcor rushed as one to his side.

“Mag!” Piper raced to catch him, but she couldn’t stop him cracking his head on the floor. She grimaced. “Are you okay? Mag!”

He was breathing; she could hear his ragged breaths, but he hadn’t opened his eyes. The angel’s words pounded in her thoughts like an anxious drumbeat - last moments, last moments, what did that mean? He was alive, she was alive, Her Dad was- Dad!

A hesitation, but Mag seemed okay, only that bitemark on his wrist oozing blood. Her Dad… she turned around and cringed. The chair had tipped over and pinned his face between the back and the concrete; he groaned as she turned him onto his side.

“Piper…?” he managed. He was still bound to the chair in thick rope; she looked to Alcor, and he nodded. “What’s going on? Mag… Mag! Is he-”

“He’s okay, Dad.” Piper felt the mirror heat up, and she passed it through the rope with a wisp of smoke. “Are you okay? No, don’t stand up-”

And he grabbed her and wrapped her in the tightest hug and buried his head in her shoulder. Piper froze, but he sagged against her, and she kept him up.

“Dad?”

“You’re okay…” She could feel his whole body trembling. “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay…”

She felt a lump rising in her throat. “I’m okay, Dad.”

“I-I was so worried about you. When I heard the news, I-I didn’t…” He squeezed her tighter. “I hate it but part of me was…I-I didn’t th-think I’d see y-you again… I’m sorry, I’m-”

“Don’t be sorry.” She shook her head, squeezed tight. “D-don’t be sorry, okay? You saved me, Dad.”

He tried to speak, but it just came out in sobs of sheer relief. Her eyes blurred as well.

“I-I thought I was gonna die. I thought we both were. B-but we’re okay, aren’t we? We’re gonna be okay.”

He squeezed her tighter- but a cough behind them, and it froze. David saw something Piper didn’t; she could feel him tense up.

“Mag? Mag!”

She turned as he nearly pushed her away and stumbled to Mag’s side. Mag- her eyes widened.

He was bleeding. A lot. Red blood was wetting the rags on his chest, and as she ran to him she could see him dissolve into bodyshaking coughs; red rimmed his lips, his eyes dimmed but meeting her gaze.

And he smiled.

“Piper,” he said, quietly. David was trying to stop the bleeding, but there was a sickening crack, a wince. His hand half raised to cover a sudden bulge on his collarbone. “Ow.”

“Mag?!” She saw the white scars on his arm - they were reddening, opening, bleeding. “Wha-what’s going on?!”

“It’s the angel!” Alcor’s voice was low and horrified - David’s eyes shot over like he just noticed the mirror. “It’s taking its gifts back - every time it healed Mag, it’s… oh, no.”

Piper watched in horror as a pattern of road rash peeled down the side of his face. “No… no, no, no! Alcor, you’ve got to- you can heal him, right?”

“Alcor?” David blinked, and started forwards as she pressed the mirror into Mag’s hand. “What-”

“Trust me, Dad.” Piper curled Mag’s hands around the mirror. “Come on, Alcor!”

“I’m trying!” It seemed like the bleeding was slowing - and then his shoulder popped out. “He’s not- Mag, you gotta… let me help you! Please!”

“Mag…” Piper looked back to those eyes. She put a hand on his shoulder. “I need you to do something for me, Mag. You need to unbind Alcor.”

Mag didn’t respond. He just looked at her, and smiled. She shook his shoulder.

“You’ve been lied to, Mag! Listen to me - it wasn’t Alcor that killed Scarlett! The angel framed him to get you to bind him!” In the corner of her eye she could see David flinch, but she didn’t have time. She leaned in closer. “You’ve got to say you unbind him, and then he can heal you! That’s all you’ve gotta do, but you’ve got to do it now! Please!”

Her jeans were getting wet. Slowly, steadily, blood was pooling under him. His lips, turning blue, quivered, and moved.

“I lost it,” he said, hardly louder than his breath. Piper didn’t know what he meant, but she shook her head.

“Mag…” she started, but he was speaking again.

“The photo… I lost it.” Tears formed in his eyes. “I-I was going… it w-was going to be the last thing I looked at.” A laugh, that dissolved into a cough. “B-b-ut th-this, this is the real thing! Th-this is so much… so much more than I deserve.”

“Mag, stop it!” David grabbed his other hand and held it to his chest. “Just unbind Alcor! You heard what Piper said.”

“I heard.” He finally looked away. “I-I gave my life to that angel. I did… I-I don’t even know what I did. I don’t wanna know.” His eyes closed. “If you still love me, just let me have this. Let me die not knowing.”

“If I-” Piper scowled. “I do still love you, and I’m gonna try to save you! Come on, Mag!”

“Mag. Heh.” His face was going deathly pale. “Even now, I don’t get a ‘Dad.” Those eyes fixed on her; the slightest smile graced his face. “That’s okay, I… I get it. Just… remember I loved you, Piper. I loved you more than anything.”

“If you loved me, why won’t you let me save you? I don’t want to watch you die!”

“It’s best this way, kid. I… made my peace a long time ago.” The slightest head shake. “There’s nothing but prison waiting for me if I live.”

“There’s us waiting for you!” She grabbed his face when he turned away. “Mag - Dad, we’re right here!”

“What, you’re gonna visit me?” A coughing laugh. “I-I’m just a stranger to you. I-I’m just guilting you, aren’t I? Should’ve kept my damn mouth shut.”

“Stop…” Piper’s voice shook, but she pushed through. “Stop telling me, how I feel, about my family!”

Mag looked at her again, and she stared him down.

“All I ever wanted to do was know you, Mag! You keep saying you love me, you’d do anything for me, but I finally have a chance to a-actually-” Her voice broke. “-to actually know who you are, and you just want to leave me again like you always do!”

His eyes widened a little. Piper could feel David’s hand come to her shoulder, but she shook him off.

“I’m not dead, Mag! I never fucking died, I’ve been here this whole time! “ She slapped her chest. “I’m not just a photo, I’m right here! And I don’t want you to die!”

“Piper-”

The energy that had seized her was leaving. “I don’t want you to die, Mag.” She sagged back down. “I’ll visit you, I’ll do anything, just don’t… don’t do this. Please. Please.”

The blood soaking her jeans was cold. Mag’s eyes slid closed, and his breath had slowed to a rattle. Piper looked to David, still holding onto Mag’s hand with a white-knuckle grip, staring into the middle distance.

It was so quiet in here, she thought. But Mag took a big breath.

“You promise…” He managed, eyes still closed. “You promise you’ll… visit?”

“Yes. Yes!”

“I promise.” David cupped his cheek. “Please, M.”

A pause, a tension.

“Then…” Mag took another breath. “Alcor the… Dreambender, I… release you… from your bonds.”

And with those whispered words, the whole world seemed to shudder. Piper heard the mirror shatter, and then a deep boom rocked the foundations the same way it had done all those years ago.

She looked behind her, and she saw, from the glowing frame, a hand, reaching out. Alcor the Dreambender wasted no time with theatrics; pulling himself out of the mirror, he immediately pounced on Mag and dug his claws into his chest.

“Wha-” David stood up quickly, but Piper pulled him back.

“He’s here to help,” She said. “Just trust me, please.”

David hesitated, and then bowed his head and took her hand. They watched Alcor pull some wispy, shiny thing out of Mag, and the last flickers of light on his tattoos went black. Casting it away, he then put his hands on Mag; they started to glow, and, before their eyes, the wounds began to close.

Mag didn’t respond at first. Then, like a drowning man breaking the surface, he took one big, full gasp, and then settled into something more regular. He was still covered in blood, but the pink had returned to his skin.

“He’s gonna be okay.” Alcor’s voice came as a surprise to both of them. The figure Piper knew in the mirror was now here, physical, and her eyes widened as she watched him rise to his feet, watched him turn around with something like a smile on his face. “He needs to rest, though. From this, and… well, everything else.”

His eyes looked from her to David, and the smile tightened a bit. She cast a glance at her Dad - stars, how was she even going to begin to explain the last few days? The last time she saw him felt like years ago.

“Dad?”

David glanced over at her, and then back at Alcor. He looked the demon up and down, from the wings twitching on his back, to the gold-on-black eyes and pointed ears. He swallowed. “You… really didn’t kill Scarlett?”

“I didn’t.” Alcor shook his head. “I swear.”

“He’s the only reason I’m alive, Dad.” Piper put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s… a lot happened the past few days, Dad. I don’t know how to start.”

He seemed to take a breath. “Well…” he started, stiffly. “You saved Mag. And you saved my daughter. Thank you, Alcor.” Then he looked down. “I’m going to need some time to… adjust. Let’s just figure out what we’re going to do now.”

Piper looked around the basement: the blood on the concrete, the chair with the rope, the gun, the Mag. And that’s not to mention the demon standing in front of them… she sucked in a breath.

“Uh, yeah,” Alcor’s wings fluttered nervously. “And, bad news, but the angel’s a sore loser. My omniscience is telling me it just used one of its pawns to tip off the cops - oh, and the cop getting the call is named Frank, and his favourite food is, eww, prawn salad?”

“What?”

Alcor blinked. “Oh, sorry, gotta get used to omniscience again. My point is, we’ve got about two minutes.”

“Two minutes until… the police show up?”

“Yeah.” Alcor seemed to see the pallor on both their faces, and put his hands up. “But it’s okay! I’m a demon, remember? I can clean this all up and get you out of here - it’ll be like nothing happened.”

Piper frowned. “But wait. Mag’s wanted, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but-”

“He’s got the whole country looking out for him.” David crossed his arms. “Piper, too. You can make people just forget about this whole thing?”

“Uh… not really, that would be a pretty big deal.” He gave a nervous laugh. “But hey, if they never find you-”

“Never find us? We’ve got lives to get back to!”

“That’s not what I meant, I-” Alcor looked back at Mag. “Well, we gotta get him out of here, at least! You remember what he said, he’ll go to prison if they find him!”

A pause, a tension that filled the air as they all gazed at the sleeping body. David broke the silence first.

“I promised I’d visit him in prison, Alcor.” He spoke quietly. “He knew what that meant. We all did.”

“But it was the angel, guys!” Alcor turned to Piper. “Come on, this isn’t - this isn’t fair!”

“What’s not fair?” She frowned as Alcor recoiled. “What’s wrong, Alcor? Look, I-I didn’t want him to die, but… you know, he killed people! That can't... you can't just whisk him-”

“So we’re just gonna throw him in prison? He needs help, he doesn’t need to be punished!” Alcor paced in place. “After all these years, I-I can finally help him! I can finally do what I should have done the second I saw her that night… and what, I-I’m just supposed to do nothing again?

“Alcor-”

“I̵ s̸h̶o̵u̸l̵d̵’̷v̵e̷ ̶b̶e̵e̴n̷ ̵t̷h̵e̶r̴e̶!” Alcor bellowed, and then shrank back, holding his head. “N-not even that night in the basement, I-I should have been watching over Scarlett. This whole thing happened b-because the angel wanted to get back at me, and I just let it happen! I can’t do nothing again. I-I can’t just leave her to this, I-I won’t!”

Piper reached out… but she didn’t know what to say. She could hear something in the distance.

She could hear sirens.

Piper looked to her Dad, but only saw the same speechlessness reflected back at her. The demon kept sobbing, and Mag was snoring on the floor.

There were no easy answers, and the sirens were getting louder.

______________________________________________________________

“Can’t we do this later?”

Standing in a foil blanket outside her house with the red-red-blue-blue police lights flashing in her face, Piper found herself feeling, of all things… impatient. Yes, stars, she was happy to be alive, relieved this was over - but she just wanted to go home. She just wanted to go home.

She just, wanted, to go home, but the cop didn’t seem to hear her question. “Just hang on one second, Miss Wright,” He muttered, tapping away on his magi-orb, and a thought popped into her head.

She’d never told this guy her name.

Piper cast a glance around the scene. There were a lot of cop cars in front of her house; the whole front of it was flashing. And there were a couple black vans, too - men in body armour and rifles huddling in groups lit by that same flashing light. There were orders being shouted and police tape being rolled out and a growing crowd that was - Piper didn’t know why they were twinkling at first… but then she realised they were cameras.

There was a helicopter flying overhead, too - it was loud.

Oh, this was…

This was a big deal, wasn’t it?

“Just, ah, talking to her now,” The cop muttered into his radio, and she looked back to see him clear his throat. “Sorry about that, Miss Wright. This’ll only take a second.”

Piper blinked slowly. “What?”

“I said, it’ll only take a second! Sorry, I know it’s loud-”

“No, I-I mean, um… what’ll only take a second?”

“We just have some questions for you.”

“Questions…?” She could see the back of a news reporter standing a couple feet away. “Here?”

“Oh - yeah, I see your point,” said the guy, and then popped open the door to his police car. “We can do it in here if you’re more comfortable.”

“You’re not gonna… take me to a station, or…?”

“It’s best to do the interview as soon as possible - just to get the details down while your memory’s fresh.” His radio was going crazy, and he pressed something to silence it. “I’m sure this has been an ordeal for you, so I promise I’ll be quick. Then we can let you go to the station and see your father - how’s that sound?”

Then he flashed what seemed to be a reassuring smile, but Piper’s mind really stuck on the word ‘let’.

She just wanted to go home, but the helicopter’s spotlight swept over the house, and then curved around to land on her. The officer tapped his magi-orb.

“So, Miss Wright,” he said, and the forced-gentleness he spoke with couldn’t clothe his naked curiosity, couldn’t disguise the way he leaned forwards, ready to hear a good story. “Why don’t you tell me, in your own words, what happened here?”

[toothpastecanyon]

The Comfort of Agony, Chapter 10

For the first time in his eternal life, Alcor had been bound. He couldn't leave even if he wanted to... so it was just as well  that he didn't want to leave, right? After all, this was what Mizar wanted.

He didn't know what she was so angry with him for, but he probably deserved it.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Worse than prison. Worse than death. Slumped against the basement door, cradling his burning arm, Mag looked up at the sunset coming through the window. He looked at the sun, stared it down until two spots formed in his double vision.

“You tricked me,” he said. Pins and needles poked deep into his arm.

   Tricks are for demons, said the light. I am an angel.

“Fuck you. Fuck you! Don’t lie to me, you said they’d be safe! You made me-”

He started to get up, but the light intensified around him. It was like there was light in his bones, burning deep inside, warning him no. With a black scowl, he sat back again.

“We had a deal.” He spoke carefully, fighting to keep the fury from his voice. “You can’t do anything to Piper. That’s - that’s the reason I did this, you can’t… Just let her go, okay? Call this off. I’ll do anything, just… please. Come on, please.”

Silence. Utter silence. Mag didn’t know if it was considering something, or if it didn’t care to reply. He didn’t know anything about this creature anymore.

Finally, it did speak.

   Deals are for demons, said the light. I am an angel.

The sun was rising, but Mag felt so cold in its embrace. He shook his head, shook his head, shook his head.

“No. No, come on. No.”

   They’re almost here, said the light. You wanted to see her, did you not? You wanted to see her so badly you defied me.

“I don’t want to see her! I’ll never - I’ll never do that again, please, I don’t-”

    You don’t need to plead. You’re tainted, and you’ve let yourself taint her in turn.

“I…”

      You taint everything you touch, said the light, and Magnus turned away and put his head in his bloody hands. You always have. From the moment that curséd soul entered your body, you were unforgivable. You think this is my fault? No, Mizar. This is always how it was going to end. You were always going to betray me. You aren’t capable of anything else.

The sun beat down on the broken figure on the floor. The light brushed over every scrape, every blemish, every drop of blood. There was a moaning sound coming from the basement.

                Ah, said the light. But it is your nature. I forgive you for this.

                      Weep no more, my child.

                                    This will all

                                                   be over 

                                                                soon.

______________________________________________________________

This fucking drive. The darkening trees rushing past Piper, the potholes that jolted her around as she drove too fast over them, the ever-lingering memory of that night. That night. The thought of it always put a pit in her stomach, but now it felt like an open wound yawing wide in front of her, dragging her back into the mind of that helpless little girl who watched her family tear itself apart on that night.

Another jolt, and her hands tightened on the steering wheel. And she wished she could say she was different now. That she wasn’t helpless anymore. But truth be told, both her parents were in deep trouble, and she wasn’t sure at all what a 20-something paper pusher was going to do to save their lives.

A glance towards the front seat, the mirror clinking against the cups. She was probably gonna die, wasn’t she? From the moment she touched that mirror, the angel was after her… but her Dad, he didn’t do anything! He didn’t deserve any of this! All he ever wanted was for his family to be happy, and he doesn’t even know who took that from him.

Who killed Scarlett.

Who drove Mag away.

Who pulled apart their family just to use them as pawns to bind a demon, and now has the fucking gall to tell her she’s the guilty one?!

Piper could feel it like fire in her blood, a wardrum beating in her ears. Oh, she was probably going to die, but she was going to do it clawing this angel’s FUCKING EYES OUT!

…Her hands were hurting. She was breathing hard, she needed to calm down. They were-

“Nearly there,” came Alcor’s voice, soft and hesitant. He hadn’t spoken much at all this car ride, and she glanced quickly over.

“Yeah,” she managed. “Yeah.”

It was emerging from behind the trees, now. That old house at the end of the road, lit with the fire of a sunset, almost glowing amongst the shadows. At first, nothing at all seemed odd about this place, but as she slowed to a crawl, she noticed how the image of it seemed to waver like the air above a hot road, like a mirage.

“Look at the ground,” Alcor said, pointing out a thin, unnaturally white line seeming to encircle the entire property. “Wards. He’s got something set up in there, I’m sure.”

“Well, we already know it’s a trap, right?” Piper tried for a shrug. “We’ll just have to… We’ll do something.” She picked up the jar of sludge. “We’ve got this - we hit Mag with this, the Angel stops possessing him, right?”

“It only weakens the hold.”

“It’s still something.” She saw Alcor turn away, and picked up the mirror. “Hey, come on, you were full of ideas this morning. Just tell me how I should approach this.”

He didn’t answer immediately; he stared off into space, and then sighed. “I’ve been thinking it over, I really have. I’ve been trying to find some way to save you and Mag and your Dad, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“It’s just…” He took a breath, let it out, and looked at her again. “I know what you should do.”

“Wh-“

“You should get out of the car, put this mirror on the ground, and drive away fast.”

“Put… wait, drive-?“

“And call the cops too!” He was speaking faster now. “Get them to meet you somewhere, take you into custody, tell them Mag’s coming after you so you get a big guard. You-“

“Whoa, whoa, wait, I’m not running away!” Piper shook her head. “I’m not leaving! Besides, the angel’s gonna kill me if I do that, that’s what you said!”

“The angel wants the mirror. If it gets that and sees you’re surrounded by cops, it might write you off as too much of a hassle to kill. Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Piper scowled. “Wh-, what happened to ‘angels always follow through’?”

“It’s just a general rule. Angels and demons, we’re… we’re fickle beings. We like to think we’re infallible just as much as you do, but we’re n-not.” His lip trembled, his face crumpled. “Sometimes we’re hypocrites, y-you know?”

“Alcor?”

“I told myself I’d always look out for her. I-I’d always be there for her, I’d always be there to protect her!” He shook his head. “But I let her down- I let him down, I let him be used against me, and now I don’t know if I’m doing what he wants - does he want to be saved? Does he want this, if it means… i-if it means his daughter…”

Suddenly, Piper knew where this was going. “I’m not leaving my parents.” She said, and watched him sigh. “I’m not! Listen, we need to focus on what to do about the angel.”

“That’s what I’m doing! Piper, if you go in there, you’ll die. You think they want you to die for them?”

“It’s not about what they want.” She fished out a plastic bag from the back. “You know what I want? I want this stupid angel out of my life one way or another!”

“Piper-”

“One way, or another.” Wrapping the bag around her hand, she picked up the mirror and held it up to herself. “So are we in on this or not? Because I’m definitely gonna die in there if I can’t trust you not to do something stupid.”

“But-” He started, and trailed off, avoided Piper’s stare. He paced nervously in the mirror, wings fluttering behind him… and then he put his head in his hands. “I can’t even do this for Mag, can I. I can’t even keep his daughter safe.”

Piper glanced up at the house. “I know you’re upset, but… we really don’t have time for this. Are you in or not?”

A moment longer he stood still, and for a moment Piper really did worry she’d have to go in alone after all… but then, he gave a deep sigh, wiped his watery eyes, and looked down.

“I’m in,” he said, quietly. “I’ll… do what I can.”

She slipped off the plastic bag. “Thanks,” she said, and when she gripped the bare handle, she could feel the sadness rolling off of him. It was like he was already mourning her; she tried to push that aside. “Let’s go.”

He didn’t respond. Grabbing the jar, Piper opened the car door and slowly approached the ward barrier. It was a glowing white line drawn in the dirt; she stuck her hand through, and it didn’t seem to do anything, but she wasn’t ready to trust it just yet.

“What is this?” She asked the mirror, but he didn’t reply. Piper grimaced at the despair still emanating from him - it seemed she was on her own for this. Trying to rub it out did nothing; it seemed there was only one way forward.

One foot, and then the other. It all seemed normal until her eyes passed through the barrier, and a sudden flash of light had her covering them. When she squinted them open…

“What’s…going on?”

The house had changed. Blinding white light streamed from every window, and a harsh sunlight had bleached the colours out from the world. The wind had absolutely stilled, and silence pressed down like a weight.

There was one more thing that changed. Piper glanced down at the mirror, and noticed her hands, dripping with the only colour the angel ever left behind - red blood.

She left a steady trail on the way to the door. It creaked open as it always did, and the sound made her cringe. Inside, the lights were off, yet everything was lit like the roof had been taken off on a cloudless day. The way it enstranged the house she’d grown up in was jarring; for a moment she just wanted to take it in, get her bearings-

Crrrreak.

A flinch, a turn. Piper gripped the mirror tight, shading her eyes and straining to see anything useful up the stairs - and wow, she really couldn’t. If the angel came from up there…?

Backing up sharply, she headed into the kitchen. The first thing she noticed was the table; nothing’s displaced but for two chairs conspicuously missing from the ends. Odd.

Piper glanced further down the hallway… but in her mind, she knew where to go. Heart hammering in her chest, she took a deep breath, and turned around.

I did it for you.

She saw it first in memory, in the blackest shadow of that night: the glowing door, the shouting the ranting the laughing that plagued her childhood dreams.

I did it all for you.

And now, years later, she stood in the glow, looking into darkness. It was just a little ajar, and the unnatural light didn’t reach inside. And as she edged closer, she didn’t hear shouting.

Please don’t go!

She heard, like ice through her heart, the faintest moaning.

Piper!

She stood on the precipice of her memories. The tape stopped here, at the top of these stairs. What laid below, for better or for worse, was resolution.

And Piper stepped down.

[toothpastecanyon]

I'm a Finalist in Writing Battle!!

Extremely excited to share I'm a finalist in Writing Battle!

Wish me luck for Sunday when the results come out :D

[toothpastecanyon]

omg this is excellent ghosts, I love it!! I really like how you drew them :DD

Got inspired to draw the Creature from @toothpastecanyon ‘s fic We Creatures :3

[toothpastecanyon]

Double omg I love this!! Your designs for them are so good and exactly how I imagined, plus some stuff I didn't and I love - the long hair is a great touch!

And I love the shots of the Creature in clothes, that's very good and possibly reading my mind ;)

Couchrat as always your designs rule!! <3

Praying that the tumblr gods don’t mark me for the blood 🙏

More Creature!

We Creatures SPOILERS below!!!!! (Also TW for blood) fic by @toothpastecanyon

Doodles :) (including a cleaned up version of my last post)

It’s not canon, but I’ve been imagining Dipper and the creature learning how to live in society together, and the creature getting a makeover in the process >:) I think part of what makes them so scary is that when Dipper first saw them they were eating a dead body and covered in sewage. So I think a good shower would help their image a lot.

And a close up of the bloody creature 🩸

Now when where they’re not covered in blood and grime

(Btw the vines are written in Tendrilis)

[toothpastecanyon]

gnome I love this I love this you rule

Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me

[toothpastecanyon]

Friends night out 🥰

Thank you couchrat your drawings are as always amazing! :D

The Creature :)

We Creatures by @toothpastecanyon

Another doodle (and spoilers) below the cut (tw blood)

There will be more of them

[toothpastecanyon]

Genuinely so so scary. Also as a recent ex-federal employee, love that Elon and his gaggle of interns likely have my SSN.

These men just stole the personal information of everyone in America AND control the Treasury. Link to article.

Akash Bobba

Edward Coristine

Luke Farritor

Gautier Cole Killian

Gavin Kliger

Ethan Shaotran

Spread their names!

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 8

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Lucy Ann almost forgot how picky demons who weren’t Alcor were. She was out of practice, but then again, why wouldn’t she be? For the last three thousand years, she’d had a demon who was easier to summon, more powerful for just about any task, and about as harmless as any demon could be.

Now here she was, covered in blood and grumbling as she cut open some gizzards and cast their stones onto the forest floor. In earlier eras, she’d consider this a shockingly easy summon, but now she’s like, where’s his business card?

A snort. “You’ve gone soft, Sagar,” she said, shaking her head as she got to her feet. Then she cleared her throat, and started the incantation:

“Dens et os, carnem et sanguinem, cor et iecur et pulmonem, Te magne oozer, Brianus Paulus Duck!”

And with a quiet yet unsettling squelching, her distant second choice for a demon stepped dripping into his circle. Lucy Ann gave a grin.

“Brian! Long time no see, buddy. You’re looking good - are those new eyes?”

Brian the Organ Duck wasn’t the chatty type, but he gave a pleased little clucking and ruffled his ‘wings’. Lucy Ann tried to keep the smile on her face as she got caught in the splash zone.

“Cool, cool… yeah, so, I got a deal for you.” And that got his attention; it always sent a shiver down her spine to see how still even a minor demon got at that word. “There’s a bodysnatcher at this college. I want you to tell me who it's in now, and I want you to tell me the identity of whoever it switches into at the moment it switches. You can’t alert the bodysnatcher, and you gotta tell me discreetly; you know how the Isles are.”

Brian bobbed his head, but still stared at her expectantly. She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not forgetting. Look, you can have all the organs you want from this pile.” She stepped aside to reveal a sizable number of dead animals. “Hope you appreciate it - haven’t hunted this much since the Bronze Age.”

She watched him peer over, clucking quietly as he examined them. Then he extended a wing.

“It's a deal, then.” Lucy Ann shook it, and felt a veil of pulsing capillaries wind themselves around her wrist for a moment before letting go. She watched the animals behind her melt into the Earth. “Alright, now for your end. What are you…? Oh, you’ve got a phone?”

Brian did, indeed, pull out a phone and make a new contact. He motioned to her.

“Oh, uh, hang on a sec, what's my number again?” She caught him rolling his eyes. “No, hey, I usually know my number, okay? This is a new phone. Alright, here it is - you ready?”

Brian dutifully took her number down, and then started texting… somehow. A moment later, her phone pinged with a text from ‘666’ with the picture and name of a student.

She grinned, but Brian was still typing.

> [S O M E T H I N G E L S E]

“Huh?” Lucy Ann looked blankly at the text, and up at him again. “Something else? What do you mean?”

> [A D D I T I O N A L I N F O R M A T I O N]

“Okay… what additional information?”

> [🤝?]

Lucy Ann groaned - of course, a price. “Fine. What do you want?”

Brian sent her a long string of different organ emojis, followed by a winky face. She scowled.

“I don't have time for this, Brian - I already spent hours hunting for the first batch!”

> [👨🫀🫀🫀?]

Human hearts. She rolled her eyes. “No. Forget it, I don't need to know.”

> [🫀🫀🥺?]

“Yeah, wow, such a discount.” She shut her phone off. “Look, if you aren't gonna make a serious offer, I gotta go.”

That was evidently the lowest Brian would go; with a quack and an affronted shake of his tail viscera, he vanished from the circle. Lucy Ann rolled her eyes, but as she wiped away his circle she couldn't keep a little pit from her stomach.

She was falling for it. Brian was playing a classic demon’s trick: implying there's something left out to get a second bite of the apple. It'd only waste her time to take it - odds were he'd just tell her the bodysnatcher's favourite drink at the Midway Bar, or something else stupid and irrelevant.

A scowl. But dammit, you couldn't deny it was a good trick. If she’d had more time she'd have taken it just for peace of mind… ugh, was she rushing?

Was there really something she'd missed?

Lucy Ann hesitated there. She really tried to think it through, to figure out what Brian could possibly tell her that'd make a difference in the exorcism…

…

But all she could see was the first grey lights of dawn poking through the trees. Lucy Ann shook her head, and took off at a fast walk to the university.

Whatever it was, it was nothing extra bindings couldn't solve. And she'd bring tape to shut it up - god knows what it'd try to say around Dipper.

And most importantly, they'd corner it before history class. She’d already been planning to ditch Xiaofan - as sensible as she seemed, no one could fuck up an exorcism quite like a freshman demonologist - but if she really did miss something, well, Dipper was her trump card.

Best not for a demonologist to be there if she needed to play it.

Lucy Ann reached into her pocket to brush against a little piece of paper she'd inscribed with Alcor's custom circle. She shivered, and picked up the pace.

The university was in sight; she was just behind Dipper’s dorm. Emerging from the bushes, she made her way to the front door.

A college student was sitting on a park bench, staring deadeyed into a soup bowl of coffee. He barely acknowledged her bloodied appearance.

“Morning, Brad.” She passed by the table. “How’s that group project going?”

He gave the slightest shake of his head.

“Yeesh, good luck. Can you badge me in?”

Robotically, Brad reached into his pocket, pulled out his badge, and held it out in her general direction.

“Thanks, man.”

After badging in (and tossing it back to Brad) Lucy Ann made her way through the small crowd of early risers, down the hall to Dipper’s room.

She was feeling better about her plan; really, you should be careful about any exorcism, but bodysnatchers were a real one trick pony sort of demon. They weren't ever that powerful; indeed, they physically couldn't be. They spent more time out of the Mindscape than any demon except Alcor, but unlike Alcor, drew no strength from their presence there. And though they could possess freely, souls were still firmly out of reach without a deal.

She'd be able to repel it if it tried to possess her, and she was sure it wouldn't dare try with Dipper. Without that, it only has its human vessel's strength to bear, and that was a pitiful weapon indeed to a vampire.

Lucy Ann rounded the last corner, snorting at the thought. Yeah, whatever, Brian. She didn't need his deal; her and Dipper would have this taken care of before-

“Hey,” said a voice as Lucy Ann opened the door to Dipper’s room. “Yeesh, that happened to you?”

“Marsh?” Lucy Ann saw her splayed out on the floor, and blinked. “Where’s Dipper?”

“Oh, yeah, he told me to tell you he’s gone out.”

“Gone… out?” Lucy Ann’s eyes widened, and then set into a deep scowl. “Did he say where?”

“I think to his parent’s house.” Marsh watched her groan and drag a hand down her face. “You okay? You don't look, ah, real happy about that.”

“Oh, I'm okay. I'm great!” Digging in her pocket, she grabbed her phone and jabbed in her passcode. “Noo, Dipper’s the one you gotta worry about. I'm gonna kill him!”

______________________________________________________________

Dipper was almost to his parents’ house when he got the call. He hesitated for a moment before answering.

“Morning, Lucy Ann!” And silence; he gave a nervous laugh. “So, uh, I take it you're back at the dorm?”

"Yes.” Her tone was clipped. “I am. Where are you?”

“I'm going to my Mom and Dad's. I tried to call you, but I couldn't reach your phone - I've finally got a lead on the jewelry store guy!”

“A lead?” She sounded interested for a moment before pulling back. “Well that's great, but it's gonna have to wait. I need you here for the exorcism.”

“I’ll be back before History.”

“No, you don’t- ugh!”

Dipper frowned. “What?”

“I was…” Lucy Ann lowered her voice. “I was kind of hoping we’d catch this thing, like, right now.”

“Now? You told Xiaofan-”

“I know what I told Xiaofan.”

“Yeah? So I don't understand-”

“Okay! Okay okay okay,” she said, and sighed. “Okay, we can still salvage this. Do you know who Annabelle Strotts is?”

“Who?”

“Brown hair, uh, really big glasses?” A pause. “You don't know who she is? What classes she takes?”

“No, I don’t know everybody in that lecture hall. You hang out with me every day, you should know I’m not exactly a social butterfly.”

“Alright, alright, you don't need to bite my head off.”

“Sorry, it's just…” Dipper gripped the steering wheel. “You know, this is kind of the problem when you never loop me in on stuff! How was I supposed to know we were doing this before History when you explicitly said -”

“Yeah, okay, point taken! When can you be back?”

Dipper made a face. “I'm nearly at their house.”

“Yeah, but we gotta do this thing today,” she said, and he rolled his eyes. “So how long’s it gonna take you to come back?”

“Lucy Ann… Marsh’s stolen car is right by my parent’s house.”

“Okay-”

“So he's right by my parent’s house.” Dipper spoke slowly. “So this is kind of a high priority for me, okay?”

“Oh, my god. So you're doing the exact same thing that almost got you shot last time.”

He scowled. “N-no, I'm just- I'm checking on my family, okay? I’m not charging in, I’ll wait for you.”

“Dipper-”

“I think you were right! You were right, earlier, when you said I should take the jobs I want to do, a-and I've been avoiding this for weeks!”

He sighed, rubbed his ear.

“I've just been taking safe jobs because… it really rattled me, what happened. A-and I promised Mal and my parents I wouldn't look into it anymore, but I can't get it out of my head.” Dipper gave an angry chuckle. “I don't want to get it out of my head, I-... I can't let him get away with this! What he did to me, and Marsh, a-and you, even if you’re fine! Everytime I think about him I just think about how he got away with everything and I, I get so mad, you know?”

Lucy Ann didn’t respond. All that spoke back was the ringing in his ears, the incessant, unending eeeeeeeee that had become the unwanted undercurrent to every single thing he did or said or thought, and maybe it’d go away or maybe it’d be with him forever. And someone did this to him, you know?

Someone did this to him, and Dipper felt his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“So I’m going to check this out.” He said, quietly. “You don’t need me for the exorcism anyway. You already figured out who it is, and you’ve done this thing a million times. And you clearly think I’ll just get in the way, so, you know, this works out for you, I guess.”

“Dipper…”

Lucy Ann seemed at a loss for words. Dipper saw the turn-in coming up, and flipped on his signal.

“I’m just pulling in now, I’ll talk to you later.” A pause. “Good luck with the exorcism. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ditch you.”

“No, no, you didn’t…” Lucy Ann sighed. “Alright, Dipper. I’ll make it work. Just… be safe, okay? You’re my friend.”

The way she said it, like she suddenly wasn’t sure it was true. He felt a twinge.

“You’re my friend too,” He said, coming to a stop and taking the key out of the ignition. “I gotta go, but… yeah, we’ll talk later. We’ll… yeah. Bye.”

There was a heavy feeling in him as he hung up, and he stayed in the car for a second, staring down at the phone. That had been… harsh. He’d been harsh. He didn’t think he was wrong, but… he could have said it better. He’d been feeling so off lately, like his own mental models for how he thinks he’ll act got knocked out of sync and were struggling to recalibrate.

eeeeeeeeeeee, said the little buzz in his head, and he rolled his eyes. Gee, he thought, what could have possibly caused that?

Another moment, and then he sighed, stuffed his phone away, and opened the car door. He’d talk to her later; for now, there was nothing to do but put it out of mind.

The lights were on inside the house - good. Shoes crunching in the gravel, he made his way to the front door, and rang the bell. Immediately, he could hear his mother’s murmuring voice.

“...do you think that is, Ronnie?” She said, getting closer to the door. He watched it open, watched her face flash from surprise to a smile that made him feel like he was home. “Dipper! Well, what an unexpected surprise!”

“Hi Mom!” Dipper gave her a hug. “Sorry for dropping in so early-”

“Oh, no, no, not at all! Your father and I were just having breakfast - come, come!”

She motioned him into the dining room, where his Dad was picking at a piece of buttered toast.

“Hi, Dad, it’s so good to see you!” Dipper gave him a hug too, and looked around. “Where’s Mal?”

“Tch!” His Dad threw up his wrist, and said something indiscernible in words but crystal clear in tone. Dipper snorted, but, looking to his mother, he found no audience.

“Everything okay?” He said, and watched her try for a smile.

“She’s been…” She set out a plate. “a little testy as of late.”

“Oh, no! You guys had a fight?”

His Dad grumbled and banged his arm on the table. His mother’s smile thinned. “She’s just having a hard time. We all are… but how are you doing, sweetie! What’s the reason for the drop in, is it…” She tapped her chin. “Ohhh, who was that girl you were asking about last night?”

“Xiaofan?”

“Yes!” She snapped her fingers. “Yes, I’m sorry, I hadn’t seen anyone with that name, unfortunately.” A pause. “Or, fortunately, I should say! Wait… you meant alive, right? Because i didn't check-”

“Oh, hah, yes! For sure alive!”

“I'm glad to hear that! But, did she lose someone close to her, or…?”

“Um…” Dipper wasn’t really sure how to approach this. “No, just… you know the forest behind our house? Some of my… friends, they were there recently, and I think Xiaofan… she dropped something, yeah.”

“They were in the forest outside our house?” Her eyebrow quirked up. “Why?”

Dipper cringed; not only was he lying to his Mom, he was doing it badly. “Uh, you know college, college kids! They do dumb stuff, right, like… go hang out around funeral homes at night!”

“Well I certainly didn’t do that when I was in college.” She looked over to his Dad. “Did you ever do something like that, Ronnie?”

He looked up at her, grinned, and winked. She tutted at him.

“Oh, of course you did. I guess I was never in the sort of crowds that did those things; I’m surprised you’re taking after him on that.” She looked down at Dipper through her glasses. “You’re keeping up your grades, I hope?”

“I am! A-and I didn’t do that, I just, you know, know someone who did that.” He shrugged. “So, uh, you haven't seen anything weird around there the past few days?”

“I can't say I have, but I haven't been looking, either.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “I'll try and keep an eye out for you, dear. Now, what would you like for breakfast?”

“Breakfast?” He blinked. “Oh, no, no, I ate at my dorm. I was actually going to go see Mal… uh, if that's alright?”

“No, no, go see her, she'll appreciate it - deep down, at least.”

That was an unusually snarky tone from his Mom. He cleared his throat. “So, she's in the crematorium?”

“Oh, yes. Just… make sure you knock first? She's become quite particular about knocking.”

“Um, okay?” Dipper half expected her to start specifying a code he had to knock, but that seemed to be it. “I guess I’ll be back soon.”

And so he started across the hall, the light of the morning streaming through the windows and catching swirls of dust in golden sunbeams. Despite the calm, though, he was a little apprehensive of the door fast approaching.

Testy, her mother had said. That was a good word for Mal - she wasn’t like that all the time, but when she was… oh, boy. And it sounded like a bad fight they’d had last night, too, like the blowouts he used to hide in his room from when they were teenagers.

And with that in mind, he stopped in front of the door. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, he thought. She probably wasn’t in a super question-answery mood right now. Maybe he should-

“Boo.”

“Wh-!” Dipper flinched at a voice, at a sudden hand on his shoulder. And there Mal was, stepping out of the shadows, a wry smile climbing her face as he whirled around to face her. “Mal!”

“Yeah, me.” She raised an eyebrow. “Are they seriously complaining I ask them to knock now? Ohhh my god, I’m so evil, I make them use basic manners!”

“You were there?”

“I heard your car outside.” A snort. “At first I was like, I told that fucking priest to stop showing up an hour before we open, but then I saw it was you! How’ve you been, dummy?”

“Uh, good!” He felt her go in for a hug, and squeezed back. “Yeah, good! It’s nice to see you, Mal.”

“Oh, that’s good to know. For a second you didn’t look too happy, there.” She let go with playful smack of his shoulder. “Loosen up, will ya? Mom and Dad have you acting like I’m gonna kill you.”

“Hah, sorry…” Rubbing his shoulder, he made a face. “But uh, is everything alright? I haven’t seen Mom like that since…”

There was a bright, iron shine in Mal’s eyes; she’d squared up, and crossed her arms, and though she was still grinning at him, there was a threat in there, a look that seemed to ask, do you really want it to be that kind of visit?

Dipper trailed off. And then he cleared his throat.

“Uh,” he started. “You, um, done any new glassworking?”

And with that, Mal was all smiles again. “I'm so glad you asked, bro! Get over here!”

Slinging an arm around his shoulders, Mal led him into the crematorium. There was a body pulled out of the freezer, clouding eyes meeting his as they passed, but Dipper hardly paid it notice on the way to her glassmaking kiln.

“Hey, Dipper, check this out.”

Mal rummaged in a cabinet, pulled out a plate, and held it out to him. With a smile Dipper made to take it - but then it suddenly dropped, and he yelped and sprang backwards as it-

As it bounced once and settled upside down. And Mal was laughing.

“Your face! Hah!” She leaned down and picked it up. “Look, and it's completely fine!

“Wh-, what?”

“I enchanted it.” She banged it against the edge of the counter, and he watched blue sparks flare up within the glass. “See, it doesn't break. And now I can give you a plate you're actually happy with, yeah?”

She handed it over to him; he took it with a crooked smile. “O-oh! Oh no, you didn't have to-”

“Oh, don't be like that, it was a fun challenge. What else am I supposed to do around here, right?” With a bit of an edge to her laugh, she leaned against the counter. “And hey, speaking of how there's nothing to do around here, what's the occasion? I know you didn't come for my glasswork - as stunning as it might be.”

She winked at him, and Dipper gave a nervous chuckle. “No, no - I mean, thanks, this is really cool, but, uh, I guess I'm here because… you remember yesterday?”

“Yeah man, I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“Haha, funny.” He rubbed his neck. “I mean, you remember when I was calling about-”

“The Xiaofan girl, yeah, yeah.”

“Yeah! Um… So, you know how college kids do weird things?” He looked up at her, blinked, and backpedaled. “I mean, maybe you wouldn’t because you're not- wait, I-I mean-”

Luckily for him, Mal only snorted. “You're a real master of tact, Dipper.”

“Sorry.”

She pushed off the counter. “No, no, I'm more offended you were gonna try and sell me that weird lie about kids hanging out in the forest - I mean, come on, even they barely bought it.” Crossing behind him, her arm settled down on his shoulder. “I wanna hear what this is really about.”

“I…” Dipper grimaced. “I can't.”

“Haha, what? Are you actually not gonna tell me?”

“I’m sorry, I promised Xiaofan I wouldn't tell anyone.” And before she could respond: “A-and it's not like a small thing, she could get in big trouble if it got out!”

“And you think I'll tell someone? One, ouch, and two, who am I gonna tell? The stiffs?” Her tone softened. “You wouldn't come down here if this thing wasn't eating you up. Come on, I’m your sister. I wanna help.”

Dipper hesitated. He looked over at her… and then he sighed, and dug around for his phone. “Okay, okay - but you gotta promise you won't be mad, alright?”

“Why, am I gonna be mad?”

“Well… you know how you kind of didn't want me to do anything dangerous after the whole thing with the jewelry store?”

“Oh no. What have you gotten into this time?”

He gave a nervous smile. “There might, uh, might be a demon at school?”

“A demon?!” Mal's whole face darkened. “Seriously, Dipper? You can't be messing with that shit! If it doesn't kill you, you'll get thrown in jail!”

“I didn't summon it-”

“But this Xiaofan did, didn't she?” Mal stalked  around the room, suddenly agitated. “That's why you're asking about her, she summoned a demon in the woods, didn't she?”

“No, no, no, it was a bodysnatcher, it possessed her!” He unlocked his phone. “And it took some weird pictures, look.”

“Bodysnatcher,” Mal grabbed the phone and started scrolling. “Tch, yeah, sure. How do you know there's even a demon?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she seems real obsessed with you, doesn't she? How do you know this whole thing isn't just an act?”

“Act? What? No, no, she's-”

But he didn't get any further. He heard a strangled sound from Mal, then a clatter as his phone struck the ground.

“Wha- hey!” Dipper picked it up, checked the screen. “Careful with my phone, Mal! Mal?”

Mal… she didn't look well, all of a sudden. The colour had bled out of her cheeks, and she swayed a little in place, staring at him with wide, haunted eyes.

“Uh, Mal?” Dipper felt a panic rising in his chest. “Mal, what's going on? Are you okay!”

“I-” She caught herself on a counter, seemed to shake herself. “I-I'm okay. Sorry, just… just got really dizzy there for a second. Sorry.”

“You really scared me there, you looked like you were going to pass out!”

“Yeah, yeah, I…” She thought for a moment. “I guess, I-I didn't have dinner last night.”

“Have you had breakfast?” He frowned as she kept bracing herself on the counter, and moved in closer. “Look, just - just sit down on the floor for a minute, I'll get you something to eat.”

“Thanks. Thanks, Dipper.”

“Of course…” He went to the door, but paused in front of it. “I don't know if I should leave you alone.”

“Dipper, really, I feel much better already.” She managed a washed-out smile. “Just give me a second to… Just get me some toast, okay? Please.”

“Okay, I'll be right back.”

With a frown, Dipper quickly shuffled back across the hall. His mother was setting up chairs in the viewing room with his Dad; she waved to him.

“Are you leaving?”

“No, uh-” He started walking backwards. “Just getting Mal some toast!”

Ducking into the kitchen, Dipper stuck some bread in the toaster, waited an eternity for it to jump up, and slapped some butter on before hurrying back.

A part of him was a little scared he should've stayed with her - she really didn't look good. He was worried he'd come back to her passed out on the floor, but he opened the door to see her leaning against the counter, looking at her phone. She glanced up and flashed a smile.

“Oh, sweet! Thanks, Dipper!”

“Here you go…” Dipper frowned at her. “You should sit down.”

“Nah, nah, I'm-” She took a bite. “feeling mush be'er!”

“Eww, close your mouth!”

“Wha’ you ‘alkin bou’?”

He snorted. “And now you're just annoying me on purpose. I guess you really are feeling better.”

“Wha- hey!”

She swatted his shoulder, and they both laughed. Mal took another bite, swallowed, and set the toast down.

“Anyway,” she said. “Sorry about that. You were showing me some photos or something?”

“Oh yeah!” He spotted his phone on the counter, and picked it up. It opened to the shot of the house. “You saw this one, right?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty creepy.”

“That's not the creepiest part.” Scrolling to the car images, he held it out to her. “Look at that!”

“Uh… at what?”

“At-” Dipper double checked it was the right image. “at the green car! Where’ve you seen a car like that before, Mal?”

“Iunno.”

“It's the car the jewelry store guy escaped with! It was all over the news, remember?”

“Oh yeah, that.” Mal raised an eyebrow. “The thing you promised me you'd drop, right?”

Dipper sighed; he knew she'd say that. “Mal-”

“You nearly got yourself killed the last time you poked your nose into this thing. I don't want you getting hurt.”

“I know, I know, but… I can't just bring these pictures to the cops!” He scrolled through them. “If I do, they'll ask where they came from, and they'll find out about the demon and Xiaofan will get into huge trouble!” A grimace. “Me too, maybe. Heh, Xiaofan almost thought I was the one who summoned it because it’s so focused on me.”

“She what?!” Mal’s head snapped up. “She's trying to pin you for this shit?”

“No, no-”

“She's trying to blackmail you into helping her!”

“No, no, no!” He put his hands up as she started pacing back and forth. “Mal, it's not like that! I'm happy to help-”

“Oh, yeah, you're juuust helping, for now.” She scoffed. “Until this idiot gets herself arrested. How's her story going to change when she's looking at fifteen years minimum for unlawful summoning, huh? You might find yourself taking a starring role. And after all you did for her!”

Dipper made a face. “You're being… really paranoid, Mal. She wouldn't do that.”

“Oh, yeah? You know that for sure?”

“She seems nice-”

“Lots of people seem nice, that doesn’t mean anything!” Mal glanced away. “People can hide all sorts of things. No, no, I gotta get out ahead of this.”

“What are you talking about?”

Mal looked back to Dipper, paused, and smiled. “We gotta get out ahead of this. You say you can't take those photos to the police because of Xiaofan?”

“Yeah, and I'm not going to.” Dipper crossed his arms. “Look, I don't know what you think she's going to do, but she came to me for help. I'm not going to rat her out for something that she didn’t even ask to get mixed up in.”

“I'm not saying you should, jeez! I'm saying, if you can't use those pictures - take yourself some new ones.”

“Huh?”

“Go out into the forest, find the car, and take your own photos.” Mal grinned at his confusion. “Then you can wash your hands of this thing without getting her in trouble.”

“Go out- what?” He blinked. “But the guy's going to be near that car! I thought you wouldn't want me going anywhere near the forest.”

“I, ah, doubt he’s there.” Mal brushed past him to stand next to an urn on the counter. “The car looks abandoned - it's more likely he dumped it way out so no one would find it.”

“But what if he didn't?”

“Well, that's why I'm coming with you.” She rolled her eyes at his shocked expression. “What? If you won't stay out of trouble, the least I can do is follow you into it. I'll be your backup!”

She smiled at him then, and despite all his questions, Dipper couldn't help but feel a warmth at that. “Well… thanks, Mal! I really appreciate that, but, aren't you busy?”

“Eh, it's gonna be a slower day today-” she started, and then caught herself. “Or actually, you know what? There are a few things I should do before we head out.”

“Oh. How long is that going to take?”

“Aren’t you raring to go.” Mal snorted. “It'll go faster if we split up some stuff. Listen, uh, there's this urn delivery I gotta do today. It's just a twenty minute drive, and by the time you get back, I bet I'll be done.”

“That urn?” Dipper walked over. “I'm not really dressed for this.”

“You still got most of your clothes in your room, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Yeah. Go throw on a button-up and you'll look fine.”

“Right.” He backed up. “Uh, alright, then, sounds like a plan! Be back in just a second!”

“Yeah, you do that!” Mal watched him go, waving breezily after him as the door swung shut… and then letting her fingers curl up into a fist, letting her smile sink into something hollow and cold and furious. “You do that, you… ffffucking idiot. Goddammit!!”

Oh, yeah, real slow day ahead of her, huh? No, no, she had to bury this quick. But how? Come on, think!

Mal paced around the room for a moment, muttering and swearing under her breath. She stopped by her kiln, leaned against the counter, and stared down at the cabinet she’d padlocked.

An idea hit her, there. At first it sounded drastic… but you know what?

Dipper was way too close to home. He needed a different lead to follow, and this might be the perfect way to give him one.

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 7

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

“What?” Mal stepped away from her kiln and put a finger in her ear. “Shao who?”

“Xiaofan-” Dipper said, and there was a sound like another person's voice. “Xiaofan Yosieto- oh, wait, Yosieto Xiaofan. Sorry.”

“I don't know who that is. What are you asking?”

“I'm asking if she came to the funeral home yesterday.” He sounded very tense. “Or, like, if there was a girl my age… or if anything strange happened yesterday?”

“Real specific, bro. What's going on?”

“Can you just tell me, please? It's important!”

“Okayyy, well, you should call Mom, then. She was on the front desk.”

“Is she there?”

“She's in the living room with Dad.”

“Can you go and ask her?”

Mal cringed; they'd just had another one of their spats a couple minutes ago. “I dunno if… it's probably faster if you-”

“Mal, seriously!”

“Sheesh, alright!” She turned off her kiln and made for the door. “What's so important, anyway?”

“I'll tell you in a second, just-”

“Go, yeah, yeah, I'm going!” She rolled her eyes. “This better be a good reason.”

Making her way across the funeral home, Mal opened the door to their house. She could hear a soft voice in the living room, but it quickly silenced itself.

Heart thumping in her throat, Mal rounded the corner and found her parents sitting in the darkness. They both looked surprised to see her; her Mom wiped her blotchy face, while her Dad, his arm resting on her knee, shot Mal a scowl.

“Um,” Mal edged up to them and set the phone on the table. “Dipper… wants to talk to you.”

They didn't say a word. Mal swallowed.

“I’ll… I’ll be in the back.”

Her Mom picked up the phone, still staring at Mal. Mal opened her mouth… but she closed it again, backed off, and scurried away.

Her heart was still racing the whole way back. Fucking Dipper, she thought, always calling at the worst possible times! ‘Important call’ - someone better have died or something!

“Ughhh,” she groaned, and dragged a hand down her face. She shoved the crematorium door open hard enough for it to bang against the wall, and came to slump against a counter.

One specific counter, with one specific printout on it. She picked it up again, her eyes narrowing at the words.

RECIEPT: URN DELIVERY TO MRS. VERRY

“This is two weeks late, Mallory!” Her mother's voice was echoing in her head. “The poor old lady was so upset on the phone - this has to go out first thing tomorrow!”

Unlike a lot of their arguments, she was absolutely right. Mal knew she was right the whole time… but it was like they'd fought so much lately she could lose her shit on autopilot.

“Oh, I miss one delivery and I'm a monster now? No, no, let me guess, you're gonna say Dipper could've done it better! When’s Dipper coming home? Ohh, I can’t wait to see Dipper!”

“Mallory-”

“I dropped my whole fucking life to help you guys and you don't even FUCKING CARE!” Mal’s eyes traced across the smashed glass glinting on the ground, and the shame cut deep. “You have NO IDEA how much I've sacrificed to keep this place going! NO! IDEA!”

“Mallory, calm down!”

You're scaring me.

Mal swallowed hard; she didn't… she didn't mean it that way. It wasn't really about her anyway, it was…

It was the urn. It was that urn, and she started pacing around the room. Yes, yes, yes yes yes yes, she knew she was just making it worse by delaying it. But it was just… it just… it kind of made her feel like a bad person, you know?

To have… you know. Done the thing with Harry.

And then.

Stuffed.

His body.

In with some nice old lady’s husband.

And then she’d just have to go to that lady’s house and be like, ‘Heyyyy, girl, here’s your urn, mostly your husband!’ and that’s just, that’s - it’s a good plan, it’s a great plan! - but you see that happening on TV and you’d be like oh my god that’s an axe murderer- a-and that’s her, she’s the axe…. She’s the axe person there!

Stars, it was hot in here. Was the kiln…? Yeah, she turned the kiln off. Mal kept pacing, kept wringing her hands out.

And look, she’s not, she’s not saying she did a good thing, but she’s being irrational about this, right? Like, objectively the Harry part was way worse, so why was this delivery the thing that was killing her? Lots of stuff in an urn isn’t the actual person! People don’t get upset the casket’s all mixed up in there too, and there’s no DNA left after the cremation process, so, you know, as long as this never gets out… where’s the bad thing, right? The lady gets an urn that contains her husband’s ashes, everyone thinks Harry skipped town, and Mal just has to add this to the list of things she needs to never tell a soul about as long as she lives. Easy!

So she should just do it.

Yeah, she should just do it, and then the last thing she had to do was get rid of the gems, because - and oh, she loved this - after all her work and planning, after sleepless nights of stress as she watched it go wrong, after doing… something she couldn’t even bear to think about: she wasn’t even going to make any fucking money out of this because Harry was supposed to fence the gems so this WHOLE THING WAS FOR NOTHING!

Mal stood there shaking with rage, and then shoved a gurney over and kicked it until she broke something.

______________________________________________________________

“So good news, Mal’s okay,” Dipper said as he made his way back to the living room. “And so are my parents. Apparently they didn’t see anything yesterday.”

Xiaofan trailed after him, her arms crossed. “I’m glad they’re alright, but I did say the one thing I didn’t want you to do was tell anyone, right?”

“Hey, there was a demon at my house! I wasn’t gonna not check on them!”

She didn’t look happy, but she did give a nod. “Yeah, well, let’s just focus on how we’re going to catch this thing before we both get arrested.”

“We?”

“Yeah, that bodysnatcher’s clearly fixated on you, they’re going to dig into that.” She paused, then frowned at him. “You didn’t… you didn’t summon it, did you?”

“Wha- no!”

“Are you sure? Because if I find out you did-”

“Dipper didn’t summon anything.” Lucy Ann cut in, and added: “Trust me, I’m with him all the time. It’s like I said, it’s probably just keeping tabs on him because he’s running this investigation business.”

“Hm.” Xiaofan got out her phone and scrolled again. “It’s weird for a demon to be so fixated on someone who didn’t summon it.”

“I wouldn’t get too hung up on it, bodysnatchers are weird demons.” She gave a little shrug. “They can possess people without deals, so once they get on the physical plane they just keep hopping around without fixating on anyone in particular. It’s not likely the original summoner is even in your class.”

“That’s true, but-”

“Besides!” With an easy smile, Lucy Ann came over and patted Dipper’s shoulder. “It’s not a problem this thing’s interested in Dipper, it’s the solution!”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, what do you mean?” He gave a nervous laugh. “We’re gonna use me as bait or something? Haha!”

Lucy Ann just grinned, and his smile vanished.

“Wha- hang on, that was a joke! Lucy Ann-”

“Calm down, not literal bait. But seriously, we’re lucky it’s got a fixation, because otherwise the three of us’d never be able to pin it down.” She made a face. “You ever tried to hunt down a bodysnatcher in downtown Portland? We had the whole Dinner Crew out there and, spoiler alert, we didn’t get it.”

“That’s true,” Xiaofan nodded to herself. “If it’s after him, it’s probably not leaving our class.”

“After me?”

“Exactly.” Lucy Ann grinned at her. “So we just gotta find it in that room. You remember who you passed it onto?”

“No, I just remember waking up as I was walking in. I was in a crowd.”

“That’s fine, we’ll find it.” Lucy Ann turned back to Dipper. “When’s, ah, when’s your next history class?”

“Tomorrow.” Dipper said, then shook his head. “But… a demon, after me? Why? Wha-what if it switches into someone in my earlier classes, o-or someone in my dorm, or-”

“Don’t-! Don’t worry about it right now.” Lucy Ann raised her arms. “If it does that, we’ll figure something else out, but we’re all in agreement here, right? We’re going to find this demon in your history class, then we’ll tail it to a quiet place where we can exorcise it. Xiaofan, they taught you exorcisms yet?”

“In theory, but we won’t do practicals until senior year.” She made a face. “And I don’t have a license to buy chalk.”

“Pfft, they think that’s the only way to make a circle? Bring, like, a marker or some table salt or something tomorrow, okay? I’ll handle the details.” Lucy Ann gave a wink. “You get your own private demonstration three years ahead of schedule. How’s that sound?”

Xiaofan was taking notes. “A marker or some salt… okay.” A blink. “But wait, what about the victim? It’s possessing someone, they’ll wake up when we exorcise them.”

“Oh, yeah.” Dipper frowned. “They’ll think we’re summoners for sure. Maybe we can… talk it out?”

“No. We’ll just do what every two-bit cultist has been doing since Sumer,” She said, then stepped onto the table and pulled Dipper’s hoodie way down over his face.

“Wh- ah! Hey!”

“See? Who’s that guy? No one’s gonna know in a dark forest.” She watched him yelp and struggle with a little grin on her face. “It won’t be fun for whoever’s been taken, but they’ll be safe, and they won’t know our identities.”

“Okay… okay, that could work. I’ll wear my raincoat tomorrow.” Xiaofan wrote that down. “How are we going to get it to the forest? And how are we going to find it in the lecture hall? We need to-”

“So many questions!” Lucy Ann barked a laugh as she slid the paper away. “Let us handle that, okay? We’re professionals.”

Xiaofan stared at Dipper still fighting with his hoodie. Lucy Ann’s smile widened.

“We’re professionals,” she repeated. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted. You just get us that salt, okay? We have to go home and, ah, prepare.”

Dipper’s head popped out. “Wait, we’re going?”

“Yeah, we got to prepare for tomorrow.”

“But-”

“I know what I’m doing.” She shot him a look, then glanced back at XIaofan, who’d stood up. “It was great to meet you, Xiaofan. Thanks for the blood.”

“You too… you’re not staying?” She looked confused. “I thought we were planning this all out?”

“We gotta move fast on this thing, I don’t have time to explain. Just trust me, alright? I’ve exorcised more demons than any of your professors combined.” When Xiaofan still hesitated, she reached forward and grasped her arm. “It’s gonna be alright, okay? I promise, you’re gonna be alright.”

That seemed to calm her down a little. She took a breath, and then nodded. “O-okay… okay.”

“That’s the spirit. This time tomorrow, we’ll have this all sorted out.” Grabbing Dipper by the sleeve, she led him towards the door. “Alright, we gotta go. Try to get some sleep, alright?”

“Uh-” Dipper stumbled. “Nice to- bye!”

Then Lucy Ann had him out the door and heading down the stairs. He was asking her what was going on, why they had to leave so quickly, but first, she let herself breathe a deep sigh of relief.

She got him out of there. That could have gone much, much worse.

______________________________________________________________

Lucy Ann was acting weird, and that was saying something. Dipper couldn’t get a word out of her on the drive home; all she’d say was “Let’s wait until we get back to the dorm.”

He cast a glance at her now. She was staring out of the car window, and she seemed calm enough, but there was an energy around her that seemed almost nervous; one hand was fiddling a little with the glove on the other.

What could make her nervous? He could only wonder that for a second before - almost like she could hear him - her head snapped around.

“Eyes on the road, dude,” she said, and he complied.

“Right, right. Uh, so…”

“I told you, let’s wait until we’re back at the dorm, okay?”

“Okay…” He wanted to say something else, but she was looking out the window again. “Okay.”

His ears were ringing in the silence. He turned on the radio, and tried to ignore the pit in his stomach the whole way home.

Once they got to the dorm, Lucy Ann immediately started rifling through her stuff. Dipper shut the door.

“So-”

“I’m going out in a second.” She found a sharpie, and uncapped it. “Give me your arm.”

“Wha- wait, you’re going out?”

“Yeah.” She caught his arm. “Just gonna write a quick ward on you. Don’t think the bodysnatcher’ll make a move on you while I’m gone, but you can never be too careful.”

“But- hang on, where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Where are you going?” She started past him, but he grabbed her arm. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, dude. Don’t worry-”

“I’m not going to not worry, something’s up with you!” He scowled as she slipped out of his grip. “You’re not gonna tell me-”

But she was gone. Really gone; he went out into the hallway and there was already no sign of her. Dipper stood there for a moment, then rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

Great, so it seemed like they would not, in fact, talk when they got back to the dorm. What was that all about? What was going on with her?

Why didn’t she ever tell him things?

That last question stung a bit as it passed his mind… but it was true, wasn’t it? Hanging out with Lucy Ann could be so fun, but some days it was like he was just some kid to her. She’d let him mess around with the harmless cases, but anytime things got serious the term ‘partner’ got very theoretical.

He glared at the ward on his arm. She literally dumped him back here to go solve the entire case herself, didn’t she? And it so obviously involved him - why wasn’t she letting him in on it?

Dipper thought back to those photos, and gave a shudder. What was going on with that demon? It went to his house, but it didn’t do anything. Why?

And did it take photos? Demons weren’t sightseers, they had to mean something.

He thought for a second, then texted Xiaofan he wanted to have another look at them. Then he went over to Darren’s dorm and knocked.

He waited for a moment, rubbing his ears, checking his phone. The lights were clearly on under the door, so he knocked again.

“Marsh? Darren? You there?” He was halfway through knocking again when it opened. “I need to- oh, hi Alex. Have you seen-”

“Yeah, dude, I heard you.” Alex rolled his eyes. “I told them to go somewhere tonight. I’m working on a project, and I need to concentrate.”

He looked pointedly at Dipper, who tried for a smile. “Oh… sorry, man. Do you know where they went?”

“No. Like I told you, I’m working on a project.” He made to close the door. “So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to that.”

“Alright, uh-” He started, but Alex was already gone. Okay, then. Looked like he was solving this alone.

His phone buzzed just then. The photos - Xiaofan had sent them over. He scrolled through them quickly in the hall, then retreated to his own room. Once he was there - picking his way over Lucy Ann’s sleeping bag - he sat down at his desk and turned on his magi-orb.

His necklace sputtered to life as it turned on, but he hardly noticed that anymore. He connected his phone and brought the photos up on here; it’d be a lot easier to look at them.

“Alright… eight photos.” He muttered to himself, and frowned. Eight seemed like more than he remembered - then he realised there were an additional three after the picture of his house.

Yeah… that made more sense. He kind of stopped paying attention after that one - stars, it still gave him a bit of a shiver to look at. Why would it take these photos of him, of his dorm, of his house, on a phone it knew it’d lose access to after it stopped possessing XIaofan?

A pause.

Did it…

Did it want him to see this?

That thought lodged uncomfortably in his mind as he scrolled through. The random picture in town, he didn’t know this one… but wait. Perched on the roof, was that - that was the griffin they rescued!

Dipper felt a rush of satisfaction… and a growing pit in his stomach. It really seemed like he was right - all these photos had something to do with him.

So what were these last three ones? He pulled them up and frowned.

“Huh.” Scrolling through, Dipper didn’t know what to make of them. “Huh. It’s just a car?”

All three photos were different shots of one green car in a forest somewhere. That was weird; his car was grey, so that wasn’t his car, or Mal’s car, or the hearse.

There was a shot of the back. The license plate was taken off. And on the front there were leaves piled up over the windshield; it had clearly been here a while. It couldn’t be Xiaofan’s.

And where was… here? Scanning the background of each of the photos, Dipper didn’t even see a hint of a road. An idea struck him and he checked the times between photos: between the shot of the town and the one of his house, forty two minutes. That was a little fast, but maybe the demon sped a bit.

Between the shot of his house and the car photos? Twenty eight minutes. Okay, so this was twenty eight minutes away from his house… and at least a good part of it had to be walking to be this deep in the forest. I mean, maybe they drove, if the green car made it out here? But not fast.

Dipper took a moment to stretched. Okay, he thought, that was an interesting exercise, but what had he figured out, really? That there was a car abandoned somewhere in the woods around his house?

“No,” he muttered. “It took three pictures - it’s gotta mean something.”

He was close to something important, he could feel it. Come on, green car, where had he seen a green car before?

Dipper tried to think, but his ears were ringing.

eeeeeeeeeee, they went, and he rubbed them with a scowl. eeeeeeeeeeee…

Ugh. This always happened when he was trying to think, and it always really took him out of it. Stupid jewelry store job, why’d he have to get involved? Every day he checked to see if they caught that guy LAST SEEN HEADING SOUTH IN STOLEN SEA GREEN SEDAN-

The realisation hit Dipper like a truck; he nearly fell out of his chair. Holy shit.

Wait, holy shit, this was- this was the car!

This was Marsh’s stolen car!

Dipper stared, slackjawed, at the timestamp.

The police had had zero leads on the jewelry store case for weeks. They’d thought he’d left the state… but this was yesterday.

All of a sudden, he knew exactly what the bodysnatcher was trying to tell him.

[toothpastecanyon]

Congrats everyone for participating! This was such a fun Tauthon, and it's amazing to think of how much amazing work is still being generated for this AU ten years on <3

10th Anniversary - Results!

Hi all, sorry for the delay in getting this out! Without further ado, we in the mod team are excited to announce the winners:

★ Fanfic contest ★

The winner of the fanfic contest is none other than @chatxkilluaxnoir with What's wrong with Dipper? Funny and heartfelt, this piece is a lovely introduction to the family dynamics of TAU.

★ Fanart contest ★

@that-ghosts-art & @rilianelucifensteatime are the winners! We're utterly blown away by the dynamism and drama of riliane's piece, and that-ghosts-art's comic strikes us as the perfect blend of angst, humor, and hope that really reflects the core of this AU.

★ Raffles ★

@alcorian-wizard & @VentiesetteStars are the winners!

The keychains should be shipped out by the end of January. For winners who haven't submitted a preorder, please keep an eye out as we will reach out to you!

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 6

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Glittery lipgloss? Check. Cute gift bag? Check. No bone fragments stuck in her tights? Double checked.

Mallory grinned at herself one more time in the rearview mirror, then grabbed the gift bag and got out of the hearse. People gave her odd looks in the parking lot, but you know what? Screw ‘em. She had an hour before her pickup, and by god, she was going to enjoy it.

Stepping into CFNLA campus, Mal instantly found herself blending in. It surprised her how weird it was to see so many young people in one place; they usually got a lot of older people at the funeral home, knock on wood. It was like a bizarro world to see whole groups of them hanging out on the grass, brushing past her on the path as they chatted with their friends, and that made her cringe.

Stars, she really had to get out more. Aaaand this wasn’t her college, so she was lost. “Excuse me,” She stopped a guy. “Do you know where the demonology building is?”

“Demonology?” He looked startled. “Are you one of the students?”

Suuure, she thought, that’s why I’m asking for directions. But she gave a smile instead. “Nope, just visiting one!”

“Oh… uh, it’s that way, I think?”

“Cool, thanks!” She watched him hurry away, laughing nervously with his friends, and her smile sharpened. Sheesh, she only asked where it was.

After walking past some buildings, the crowd thinned out, and Mal came to a single structure set apart from the rest of campus. There was a parking lot right next to it with a cop car… actually, there were also a lot of identical black cars with the extra bumper part on the front, and people in suits hanging around the entrance.

Mal stopped dead, her stomach twisting in on itself. Bad vibes. That whole place was screaming ‘do not approach’, and Mal was nothing if not a good listener.

She had just turned around when she heard a voice.

“Emmy!”

“Huh?” She glanced back. “Oh, Gemmy! There you are!”

Gemma was walking out of the demonology building, giving her a sunny wave. It still made Mal laugh that Gemma Gleeful, of all people, went into demonology. She was a real Elle Woods of the field, with platinum blonde hair, sparking sunglasses, and… a clear plastic backpack slung over her blue tube top.

“Aww man, it’s so good to see you!” Mal gave her a hug, then pulled back and snickered. “This the newest fashion, huh?”

“This thing?” Gemma followed her eyes to the backpack, and let out a loud groan. “It’s killing me, Emmy, it’s the only bag they let in the building! I carried all my stuff in for weeks, but I just had to cave.”

“Yeah, jeez, I didn’t realize how serious they are about security.” She nodded at the cops. “Is that normal?"

“It’s been normal.” Gemma leaned in close. “All the teachers are saying there’s been a massive spike in demonic energy this year, and they can’t figure out why!”

“Huh.”

She rolled her eyes. “And of course our class is the one getting the flack, even though I bet you it’s some, some… very not smart person in another program summoning a demon to cheat!” She pinched her nose. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be calling names. It just really gets me, you know? All the TAs talk about is how fun it was last year, but we have to lock up our textbooks and take our shoes off every time we leave the building!”

“No, no, that sounds really annoying.” Mal said. After a pause, she held up her gift bag. “Uh, I got something for you!”

“Oh, bless your heart, you shouldn’t have!” Gemma opened it up, and let out a squeal. “Eeeeee! Did you make these earrings? They look so pretty, Emmy!”

“Whoa!” Mal felt herself get wrapped in another hug, and chuckled. “Hey, of course! Thanks for meeting up on such short notice, I’ve really missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too! Hah, I thought you’d never come back from your fancy New Angeles university!”

Gemma gave her a playful nudge, and Mal tried to keep the grin on her face. “Heh, yeah, uh, me too… anyway, lunch?”

“Yes! Lunch is on me, and I won’t hear a word of argument about it! Come on, I can’t wait to hear everything about the city!”

Mal followed along, and they spent a nice lunch together. It was full of lies, of course - expansions of the short time she’d spent in New Angeles before the call, a tight nod and a smile when Gemma asked after her parents - but these days, Mal liked to think of that as practice.

When you had skeletons in your closet, it was good to keep those skills sharp, you know?

“Oh, man, what’s the time?” Mal checked her phone, and let out a sigh. “Sorry, Gemmy, I gotta go.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my folks let me borrow the hearse to drive into town, but they need it back at two.” “The hearse?” Gemma giggled. “You drove that here?”

“Yeah, you wanna see it?”

“You’re so funny.” Gemma shook her head, and looked at her own phone. “I probably have to go too, I’m afraid. Gotta get back to the airport.”

“The airport?” She watched Gemma mime slipping her shoes off, and snickered. “Back to the demonology building, huh? Well, don’t let me keep you!”

“It’s been so lovely to see you, Emmy,” Gemma gave her a big hug. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You better give me a call when you get back to New Angeles!”

“I will.”

Mal waved as she walked out of the cafe; as soon as she rounded the corner, she broke into a little jog. She was really cutting it close for this pickup.

______________________________________________________________

The sun was going down as Dipper pulled up in front of an apartment building. It wasn’t the same complex as Marsh’s, but as he stared up at the building enshadowed by the sunset, the only thing he could think was here we go again.

He took a second to get out of the car. As soon as he did, a familiar figure seemed to pop up next to him.

“I was hoping you’d come around.”

“Wha-!” He jumped at the little red-robed figure of Lucy Ann. “When’d you get here?”

“What do you mean? I was with you the whole time.”

Then she flashed her sharpest grin, and Dipper groaned. “How…? You know what, whatever. Do you know what this is about?”

“Nah, I just know Marsh said there was some sort of anonymous tip. What’d she say on the call?”

“She said…” He started, paused, and flashed his own little smirk. “Well, you’ll have to find out, won’t you?”

“Hmm? Oh, being Mr Mysterious, are we?”

“No more than you.”

“Yeah, but I pull it off.” She trailed behind him as he started towards the stairs. “You’re really not gonna tell me?”

“Eh, you’ll find it out in a second anyways. Let’s say… this is a bit of payback for ditching me earlier.”

“Ditching you? Oh please, you were never gonna go do a stakeout on laundry. As soon as Marsh told me about this, I knew what we were doing tonight.” A pause as they came to the door; she crossed her arms. “But fair enough. I guess I will. You gonna knock or what?”

Dipper hesitated for a long moment in front of the door - oh, stars, did he really want to do this again? A demon in the university… if this was real, this was going to be even more dangerous than the jewelry store job. Mal could never find out he was doing this.

“Uh, hey,” said Lucy Ann, leaning in. “You know, we don’t have to-”

But then the door opened by itself. It was the woman from his class; she looked at him with wide eyes.

“You're here!” She said, then eyed Lucy Ann. “Is she…?”

“She's Lucy Ann, she's with me.”

“Good, good,” She held the door open wider. “Come in - sorry about the mess.”

Dipper stepped into the living room, which was much neater than his own space ever looked. The woman was picking some papers off of the coffee table; she gestured to the couch.

“You can, you can sit! Can I get you anything? Tea? Water?” She glanced at Lucy Ann. “Blood?”

Lucy Ann snorted, but quickly realised that wasn't a joke. “Shit, really? You look a bit too warm to have that stuff around.”

“I guessed you'd be coming too.”

“Well, thanks! I'll take that, then, uh…?”

“I’m Xiaofan.” Xiaofan opened the fridge. “Dipper?”

“Oh, no, I’m, I’m good.” He sat down, and dug in his bag for the notepad. “So, uh, you didn’t want to talk much on the phone-”

“Sorry about that, I’ve just - ever since this morning I’ve been freaking out.” She handed Lucy Ann a cup and came to sit on the floor. “I didn’t know who to go to.”

“Why not the police?”

“The police? No, no, if anyone gets word there’s a demon loose in the university, everyone involved is getting expelled!”

Behind her, Lucy Ann choked on her drink. Xiaofan didn’t notice; she was squeezing a piece of paper like a stress ball.

“Plus, I-I’m the only demonologist in our history class, who do you think they’ll blame for it? I could get arrested, they could cancel my visa… no, no, no. Look, you don’t have to help, but if you don’t, just… let me handle it, okay? Please don’t tell anyone, I’ll figure something out-”

“Demon?” Lucy Ann managed to cough out. Dipper leaned closer.

“Hey, we’re not going anywhere, okay? We’ll help.” He watched her shoulders come down a bit. “Just tell us what happened.”

“Um,” Lucy Ann cut in. “Hey, Dipper, demons, they’re… this is a bit of a step up from the jewelry job! Don’t you want to, uh, think about that first, maybe?”

He frowned. “I thought you wanted us to focus on real mysteries?”

“Ah, yeah, yeah… I said that. I just-”

“And she could get in huge trouble! She needs our help!”

“Yeah, but…”

“No, no, I understand. I’m asking a lot.” Xiaofan nodded at Lucy Ann. “But can… can I just say what happened? You don’t have to help, but I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I don’t talk this through with someone!”

“Of course,” Dipper said. Behind him, Lucy Ann opened her mouth, then shut it and gave a tight nod. Xiaofan let out a sigh.

“Thank you.” She said, paused, and then laid out a piece of paper on the table. “The college knows there’s been something going on for a while now. Look at this; there’s been a huge spike in local demonic energy since the start of this year.”

There was a graph on the paper, dating back thirty years. The line wobbled along the bottom of the chart for the first few years, then went up, then at the start of last year it skyrocketed. Dipper felt a pit in his stomach looking at it.

“Oh, jeez, that’s… not good.” He said, and she raised her eyebrows.

“It’s not. And they think it’s someone from demonology, so they’ve basically stopped teaching us until they find out where it’s coming from.” She made a face. “All we get are endless seminars about how the Isles have the strictest unlawful summoning laws in the world and we’ve got to ‘come forward’ if we’ve broken them, it’s - ugh, it’s so frustrating when you haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Yeah, I bet,” Dipper said, not noticing Lucy Ann’s stare straying to him. “So… wait, you said you think it’s someone in our class?”

“Currently, yes.”

“Currently?” He said, and watched her grimace. “What do you mean, currently?”

“I… I think it’s a bodysnatcher.” She poked at the graph again. “It, it doesn’t make sense, they're usually much weaker, but it’s the only explanation for what happened to me.”

“What happened to you…” Lucy Ann stepped closer. “You got possessed?”

She looked over her shoulder, like she was still worried someone was listening in. Then she nodded. “I-I don’t remember anything that happened yesterday. We had a history lesson Wednesday, and it’s like my brain just turned off after that.” With shaking hands, she took out her phone. “Next thing I know I’m walking in the same lecture hall, I-I check my phone and it’s Thursday. And there’s these strange pictures from yesterday, I didn’t take these!”

Laying her phone on the desk, Xiaofan started swiping through them. The first was a shot of Dipper from behind; he glanced up at her, and she could only shrug.

“I swear I didn't take these,” she repeated, and kept scrolling. “And then this dorm? This isn't my place.”

“Hey, that - that looks like my dorm!” Dipper stared at the picture with wide eyes. “Did it… follow me home?”

“Maybe it’s worried you’ve been investigating the supernatural?” Lucy Ann suggested, and Xiaofan frowned.

“Maybe… that's odd, though. Do you know this place?”

It was just a picture of somewhere in town, and Dipper shook his head.

“That's so strange,” He said, watching the pictures go by. “If it's a bodysnatcher, it wants to go to a populated area, I guess - no, hang on, it's gone back to the road. Where's it going? I don't-”

Then he stopped dead, his eyes wide, his breath caught. Xiaofan tried to keep scrolling, but he stopped her.

“Yeah, I don't know where this is,” She was saying, but her words were washing over him. “You're right, bodysnatchers usually go to cities when they get released into the physical world, but this looks like-”

“This is my house.”

“What?”

Dipper was staring right at the entrance to his family’s funeral home. “This is my house… I-I gotta make a call.”

Xiaofan protested, but he quickly stood up, dialed Mal, and hurried into another room. Lucy Ann was left standing there; she pushed the phone aside to look at the graph again.

The first spike? Twenty years ago. Her stomach churned at the sight - and then churned a little harder when she realised it was a printout of an email thread titled 'OPERATION CATCH THE CHEATER'. It looked like almost every first-year demonologist was copied in on it.

“Shit,” she said under her breath. “Shit, shit, shit."

So now, thanks to her, he was investigating himself. Great, fantastic.

Alcor was so going to kill her when this blew up.

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 5

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

“You got your net?”

“Yup.” Lucy Ann extended the handle. “Got the long one too, in case she tries going over me.”

Dipper nodded, and hefted his own. “Alright. Stand back, Mr. Yancin.”

“It’s Professor Yancin, actually.” The chemistry professor said, then blinked and backed up behind his desk. “Just be careful. There’s some potent chemicals in there.”

“Potent- wait, this is the cleaning cupboard, right?”

“There’s bleach and ammonia cleaners in there!” He ducked a little lower. “Just don’t go smashing stuff, okay? I can’t tell the university this happened!”

“Smashing stuff?” Dipper gave a chuckle. “I told you, Yancin. We’re professionals.”

At that moment there was a banging behind the door; he turned back to it, and gave Lucy Ann a nod. She readied her net, and he reached out and grasped the handle. Then he threw it open, and in one motion he raised his net and brought it down on-

-on the beak of one huge griffin filling the entire space of the closet. Dipper heard a low growl, and his eyes went wide.

“Hey, that’s not a teacup griiiiiFFIN!” It bit down on the net and charged into him, leaving him hanging on for dear life as it started running around the lab. “Whoa, whoa, stop! Stop!”

Lucy Ann glared at the man. “Wha- This is not a teacup griffin, man! This is full size!”

“But that’s what the internet listing- eek!” He ducked as the griffin jumped on his desk, crushed his monitor under its feet, and spread its massive wingspan. “My computer! Noo, it’s destroying everything!”

“I got it, I-” Dipper grabbed for the edge of the desk, only for that to be ripped out of his hands as it took flight. “I don’t got it - Lucy Ann! Heeeelp!”

“Stultissimi,” Lucy Ann muttered under her breath; she cast aside the tiny net and looked around the room. The flag of the California Federation was hanging by the door, flapping wildly on its post as the griffin half-flew, half ran laps around the narrow lab. She jumped up, tore it down and held it out in front of her like a matador.

The griffin slammed into the drywall as it made its turn to her, Dipper hanging off its neck inches from the floor. It tried to weave past her but she pounced on it, wrapping the flag over its eyes and pushing back as hard as she could. It was like stopping a train, but first they skidded, then they slid to a stop, her back landing against a window just hard enough to hurt.

Quiet, again. She took a moment to let out a breath - then looked down at the griffin. It was utterly still now under the darkness of the flag, its breathing returning to normal. She could see movement under the feathers, a hand struggling to make it out.

“Pteh! Pteh!” Dipper dragged himself to his feet, spitting out feathers. “How are we gonna get this thing out of here? No way it’s fitting in our cage!”

“If we’re quiet, we can probably just lead it outside.” She adjusted the flag over its head. “These guys sleep in dark caves. She probably just got spooked from all the sudden light.”

“Huh. I didn’t know that.”

“You’re welcome. Now shhh.”

She led the griffin out of the door. Dipper trailed behind, and stopped by the professor staring wordlessly around the wreckage of the lab.

“Uh…” He cringed. “Sorry about this. But hey, we got it out, right?”

The professor didn’t respond, and Dipper got out his wallet. “I can refund our fee-”

“You’re not refunding my half!”

“Oh, uh…” He took out a couple notes. “Well, here’s… here you go.”

He held them out to the professor; when the guy didn’t move to take them, he awkwardly left them on the edge of an upturned table and scurried out. Lucy Ann was outside, chucking the flag into the garbage.

“There she goes,” she said, pointing to a shrinking silhouette in the sky. Dipper made a face.

“We really screwed that one up.”

“Um, no we, thanks.” She crossed her arms. “I told you to leave this one for animal control.”

“Hey, if it was actually a teacup griffin, this would’ve been a breeze! Besides, we had that cancellation-“

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you had to fill it.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought you wanted to keep this focused on mysteries.”

“I do, it’s just- I mean, not everything’s a mystery, right?” He shrugged. “It’s not all going to be like the jewelry store job, a-and if I only take what’s interesting to me, we’ll lose all the momentum that coverage got us!”

“Coverage?” She arched an eyebrow. “You got one interview in the college newspaper. Because Marsh is the editor.”

“I mean, people are calling us!”

“Yeah, they’re calling us for their chores.”

“I-”

“And if you want to do people’s chores, that’s fine. But if you want to solve mysteries? Well, you might be too booked up to notice when a real one comes along again.”

She gave him a pointed look; he just laughed nervously, and checked his phone. “Heh, yeah, um - oh wow, I should get going to Russian! Hah, I should get ‘Russian’, right?”

“Oh my stars, that was terrible.” She shook her head. “We’ve got another job at five, right?”

“Yup! Someone thinks there might be a ghost in the laundry machine because her clothes keep being dumped out of the dryer. She wants us to do a stakeout!”

“Thrilling.” She said, and turned on her heel. “I’ll see you at the dorm.”

“Wha- uh, okay! See you later?”

She gave a wave without turning around, and left him standing in the sun. Dipper rubbed his ear, checked his phone again, and quickly hurried to class.

______________________________________________________________

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

It’s a quiet noise, Dipper thought, then frowned. No, not quite. It’s always quiet, sure, but it’s the same volume whether he’s in a chattering lecture hall or alone in his bed staring up at the ceiling. It doesn’t matter how loud things get, he could always

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

hear it.

So was that quiet, or was that something else? Was it just a trick of his brain, a weird little way of holding onto that day, that moment with the gun shoved against his skull- and he jumped at a tap on his shoulder.

Lucy Ann? No, it was someone behind him. She leaned in close. “Dipper, right? Can we talk?”

“Huh?” He blinked, and glanced at the lecturer at the front of class. “Uh, maybe later?”

Then he turned his back on her. The lecture, right.

“-since the California Incident, our Isles have been infused with Alcor’s energy,” the TA up front was saying. “The United States’ initial response to the surviving residents, in addition to their political deadlock in passing strong punitive legislation related to the summoning of demons, is believed to be the main causes of the growing rift between the former state of California and…”

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

Rubbing his ears again - a grimace. The doctor said it’d go away with time. It was just one gunshot, right? Just one wasn’t supposed to damage his hearing - it was just in his head, you know?

eeeee

It’d go away. It wasn’t permanent.

He wasn’t

EEEEEEEEEE

damaged.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A little shake in his breath. No. No, no, no, that was - he was fine. It’d all go back to normal soon. He just needed to keep busy, you know?

Dipper stared ahead, the words washing over him. Soon class wrapped up, and he stuffed his magiorb in his bag and drummed his fingers on the desk as he waited for the lecture hall to clear out. He checked his phone - agh, four thirty, he really had to get back home to pick up Lucy Ann and then-

Another tap. He looked up; it was the student from earlier, leaning over her row of seats.

“Can we talk now?”

“Uh,” His row finally started moving. “I kind of have somewhere to be-”

“Then take my number.” She held out a little scrap of paper. “Can you call me tonight?”

“I’m kind of busy, but I’ll try - what do you need?”

“I don’t…” She glanced around. “Just, uh, give me a call as soon as you can, okay?”

“Sure, sure.” Dipper tucked it into his pocket and hurried away. What time was it? Four thirty two, really time to go.

He rushed down the hallway - kept rushing, and the little eeeeee sound faded to the background of his thoughts.

______________________________________________________________

“Hey Marsh, have- what are you doing?”

Marsh was sitting in the hallway, her back on the floor, her feet stretched up the length of Darren’s door. A laptop was squished between her jaw and her hips, which shifted a bit as she turned to glare at him.

“Working. Why?”

“Nothing, just… oof, your back.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She raised her elbows up to type. “Oh, I told Lucy Ann, but I got a call for you guys today.”

“Is she here?”

“Lucy Ann?” Marsh watched him fumble for his keys. “Nah, she said she was going out.”

“Going-” He blinked. “But we were doing a stakeout tonight!”

She snorted. “Yeah, at the laundry room, right? Can’t imagine why she wanted to skip out.”

“Ugh. But she could’ve told me she didn’t want to do it. I could’ve just driven straight there!”

“Uh huh. Anyway, I got this message for you-”

“Not now, I gotta go-”

He made to leave, but she threw an arm across the hallway. “Hey, no need to be an asshole, dude. I’m not your secretary.”

“I-” He blinked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just running late-”

“To the laundry stakeout? That’s my friend’s dorm - the girl keeps her laundry in the dryer all weekend. It’s not a ghost who’s dumping it out, okay?”

Dipper hesitated, and then gave a sigh. “Okay... what is it?”

“It’s an anonymous tip.” Marsh gave a grin. “You know those are gonna be good. She wouldn’t say anything to me, but she gave me her number and told me to pass it onto you.”

“That doesn’t sound that interesting, we don’t have any details.”

“Aw, c’mon, that’s the interesting part!” Marsh rolled herself upright, and fished in her pocket. “Look, just give her a call at your little stakeout, alright? Lucy Ann thought this sounded promising - I haven’t heard her say that before.”

Dipper took the little strip of paper, and peered at the string of numbers written in Marsh’s neat handwriting. He paused… and then he dug in his pocket, and drew out the crumpled piece he’d pocketed earlier.

The pencilmarkings had smudged themselves a little in his pocket, but the phone numbers matched exactly. Marsh raised an eyebrow.

“You met her before, huh?”

“Just today.” He frowned, and stuffed them both away. “But you know, Lucy Ann says I should stop taking on random chores. I gotta go.”

“Haha, what?” Marsh watched him brush past her. “I think this could really be something, you know! You’d rather stake out a laundry room than get to the bottom of this?”

“I-I told her I’d be there at five! I gotta go-”

“Seriously? Have fun then, I guess. I don’t get you, though. Are you-”

Dipper stopped before she cut herself off. Icy silence filled the dorm, silence like the moment he realised he could hear someone breathing behind him, the moment before the gun pressed against his head and he thought he was gonna die here.

eeeeeeeeeeee…

“I, uh…” Marsh cleared her throat. “I mean, I get it, man, I wasn’t trying to…”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“I mean, he was in my house all that time, that’s…” She gave a nervous chuckle. “I mean, why do you think I hang out here now? I get it, if you’re…?”

“I’m not.”

She paused, and then nodded. “Yeah - no yeah, of course.”

They stood there frozen for another moment more, both of them searching for something to say… then the door between them swung open.

“Guess who got tickets to Selena and the Nutty Tweaks this Friday!” Darren noticed Dipper and waved. “Oh, Dipper, hey! Did you hear? I got tickets to-“

“Selena, yeah, you just said.”

“Yeah! You wanna go?”

“Uhh…”

“Marsh? Hah, why do I ask, you’re such a Nuttie.” He looked between them, his smile dropping a little. “Uh, hah, weird, you guys are quiet today! It’s like someone died, right?” A pause. “Oh no, did someone actually die? I gotta stop saying that.”

Dipper snorted. “No, no, no one died, just… I was about to leave. Have fun with your concert, Darrel.”

“Oh, you bet I will!”

“And…” He glanced back at Marsh, but his mouth clamped shut and he hurried away.

What time was it? Five four - ugh, he was gonna be so late!

Dipper took off running for his car, a scowl creasing his forehead. What did it matter if it was a kind of useless job, he said he’d be there! And she was paying him for the whole night!

What more could you want, right?

As he dug in his pockets for his keys, his knuckles bumped against the little scraps of paper. His heart pounded, because he’d been running.

He wasn’t scared, he was just… busy. And this was probably some other kind of stupid job he’d just have to fit in his schedule between school and helping his dad, so what was the point, right?

It was nothing.

It was nothing.

The car was unlocked, but Dipper didn’t get in. He just stood there, scowling at the door, poking at the little pieces of paper in his pocket.

He wasn’t scared… so you know what, fine, he’d call her right now! Whipping out his phone, Dipper typed in her number and held it up to his ear, tapping his foot as it rang.

Come on, seriously? She asks him to call her and then doesn’t- it picked up.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi. It’s Dipper?”

“Di- oh my gosh, yes, Dipper!” The voice sounded relieved. “I’m so glad you called me! There’s a huge problem and I need your help!”

“Huge problem?” He raised an eyebrow. “Like a bat problem, or…”

“I think there’s-“ she stopped herself, and then continued on in barely a whisper. “I think there’s a demon in my class.”